


Come On Get Higher

by Thewriterinme



Series: College Kids [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-04 00:09:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 220,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thewriterinme/pseuds/Thewriterinme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Our favorite characters in college meeting and falling in love. Established Pezberry friendship. Warning: MATURE content, so like, don't read it if that doesn't rock your boat :P</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Melt With You (Modern English)

I rush out of my Dance class, throwing a bag over my shoulder and grabbing my books that were on top of a bench near the window. Somehow, because of many months training, I was able to put my headphones on and press play on my music player. I keep pulling down my cut-off, oversized orange shirt down, even though I have a black tank top underneath. I feel sticky and my muscles are sore from the class but I have no time to shower today.

This morning, when I left my dorm room, I realized I had no food for breakfast. Usually I'm so anal about eating a good, healthy breakfast every morning, but not today. Today had the potential to be a great day and I was so excited to get on with it that I didn't even bother stopping by the cafeteria to get some food.

But right now I'm starving, so I'm skipping a shower between this class and next – World Civilizations – to hunt down some food around this campus. I'm practically jogging between buildings trying to find a vending machine. Apparently no building here has one because I've been to five already.

As I approach a building I've never even considered before, I see a blonde girl coming out through the double doors. She looks just as rushed as I feel and she's focused intently on a stack of papers in her hand. The way the sun is hitting her hair though makes her look like an angel. At first glance, she's beautiful. When I get closer, she's even more. I take off one of the ear buds and smile at her when she looks up. She averts my face as soon as she makes eye contact but then she looks back up to make sure I'm smiling at her and smiles back. Wow, her smile is blinding.

"Hey," I say, needing to start conversation with her because she's just about the prettiest girl I've ever seen.

She looks behind her on each side before narrowing her eyes at me questioning me. I smile at how adorable the action is because she must be really humble not to imagine I'm speaking to her. The entire world should want to speak to her. "Hi." She says and her voice takes me up to heaven and crashes me down back on earth with one simple word uttered.

We're still walking toward each other. We're only a few feet away but it seems like we've been on this journey for forever, me living my entire life just leading up to this point. I need to think of something quick to say to try to get her to speak to me some more. I don't want this to be stored in one of those moments where you only acknowledge someone who's walking your way out of politeness. So, I think of the first thing I can and act as if that was my intention all along. "Do you know if this building has any food?"

She stops walking to think, her – holy shit – her hazel eyes reflect the sunlight in a way that I swear will kill me if I stare any longer, so I focus on her hands instead. There. Hands shouldn't be that big of a problem. Except she takes her left hand and runs it through her short hair, and the way she does it is so graceful but yet so sexy that I can't help but want to do the same. And then I realize how her slender fingers flex slightly and – I shake my head. Stop being creepy. "Uh, no. Sorry."

Not even two feet away from each other, she looks at her watch, and smiles apologetically, as if it's her fault there's no food in there. "What about a vending machine?" And now we're so close we could touch each other if reached out. She looks like she has to keep going, though, and when I check my iPod for the time, so do I.

When she processes my question she smiles and nods, "yes! There's one if you take the hallway to the left." Our bodies pass each other and I smell a faint scent of – well I have no idea what it is, honestly, but it smells so good. I inhale after she's past me to try to memorize it but then it's gone and all it's left is her back to me.

"Thanks!" I call out after her. She barely turns her body around and waves her left hand, currently unoccupied. She shifts the papers to where she can hold them with both hands and goes back to reading whatever it is that's robbed her attention from me. "Damn." I mutter. No girl has ever had this effect on me. I just wanted her to notice me a bit longer. I scoff because I sound ridiculous in my own head and try to forget about the girl who made me forget there was a world for five full minutes. Our interaction had been short and sweet but it felt like it took hours.

I realize that there actually is food here! This is sort of a hangout spot and there's a small deli to the right of the door. Maybe she didn't see it? Or maybe she just lied to me and got away with it because of her beautiful face. So not fair. I find the damn vending machine anyway because I'm running out of time, but the entire time I'm supposed to be picking something to snack on I'm thinking of the way her dress looked, hugging her body in all the right spots but then flowing freely at the bottom. It had been white and she wore a red cardigan and brown cowgirl boots – hot. She looked adorable but at the same time there was something about her I couldn't quite place. Someone approaches me from behind, standing there waiting to use the machine next so I quickly make a decision, punch in the numbers, and pick up the chips. This will have to do.

I only make it to class on time because my professor is late. I usually sit near the center of the front row but since I'm so late, I have to walk toward the back of the class. I scan the room, looking for that girl, hoping that maybe she would be in here and I would've missed her before or something but she isn't. That would've been too easy and nothing in this life comes easy. I slump in my chair, grab my phone and send a text to my best friend.

Rachel: Just saw the prettiest girl ever. We need to find out who the hell she is because it might've been love at first sight.

Santana: Haha, Berry, Berry. Put out your fire. What did she look like?

Rachel: Like an angel.

Santana: OMG! I know exactly who you're talking about!

Rachel: REALLY?

Santana: Of course not! Obviously, I'm going to need more than that if you want me to help.

I think back at the moment my eyes first laid on her and re-visit every step I took toward her, past her, and every word exchanged between the two of us.

Rachel: she was taller than me. Short blonde hair and beautiful hazel eyes. High cheekbones, very nice body. The voice of an angel – soft spoken but with so much confidence. I don't know what else to tell you.

Santana: you do have a soft spot for damn blondies, don't you?

Rachel: so do you! Will you help me find out who she is though?

Santana: don't I always? Isn't that what we do? We see a hot chick, we tell each other, we find them, one of us bangs them, we forget about them.

Rachel: thanks! Shit. Professor is staring right at me. I'll call you after class so we can meet up for lunch.

Santana: I'll see you later.

I can't concentrate on the lecture at all because I'm still thinking about that gorgeous girl. If only I had a name? I wish I had asked for her name. That way if I ever saw her face again, I'd know what to call it. I can't keep referring to her as Beautiful Girl forever, can I? Well, I could but I don't know how she'd feel about that.

Class took way longer today, I swear. It's like the minutes of this day were dragging on and on just to torture me with sweet thoughts of Beautiful Girl's legs, where I could see them anyway. And those lips. I must've glanced at them a billion times while she was talking.

I call Santana right away when class ends. The professor is still saying goodbye when I put the phone to my ear and he sends me a death glare when I acknowledge Santana, "Hey, San."

"God, Berry. You know I hate it when people call me that."

"You let all your girlfriends call you that! Why can't I – I'm your best friend."

"Technically, you're my only friend – "

"Okay, that's just more reasons why it should be okay for me to call you San, you idiot."

"Kay, Midget. Where did you want to meet today? I have an hour break until my next class."

I'm so confident of where to go. I just want to take chances. Maybe Beautiful Girl would have gone back to that building. That was a possibility, right? "Let's meet at Building F."

"The Lounge?" Santana asks me skeptically. "Damn, Berry. How the hell did you get around there? Someone drag you? You know only the cheerleaders and jocks hang around there."

"I hadn't the slightest idea there was even such a place!" I'm quite defensive because I usually try not to get mixed up with the cheerleaders or jocks. In this university, there is a clear distinction between the cheerleaders (as the elite) and anyone who's not a cheerleader (the peasants). Us, theatre kids, we are treated the worst. Santana just hates cheerleaders in general because she used to be one and they weren't nice to her when she came out in high school. She shrugs it off nowadays and promises she doesn't care anymore but she does and I know it. I don't want her to think I'm hanging around with those people now. And, either way, even if I wanted to, they'd never accept me. But then something clicks in my head. "Wait! San!" I basically yell in her ear so she cusses at me, telling me to chill the fuck out, so I do and keep going. "Santana, if you say that The Lounge is where the cheerleaders hang out and I saw this girl coming out of The Lounge…" I trail off with an expectant tone wishing for her to complete my train of thought.

"She's a cheerleader." She says as dry as I've ever heard.

"What's the big deal?"

"She's a cheerleader, Rachel. No chance. No way she's ever going to be interested in you." Santana's harsh when she has to be but it's out of love. She does it to protect me and she didn't meant it personally, I just know.

"You never know. She was very nice and polite to me earlier today. She probably knows I don't belong at The Lounge," I say the name with as much posh as I can, "but she didn't care. She answered my questions and at a point I'm pretty sure she second-guessed herself about if I was actually speaking to her."

"Yeah, because you're you and you were – and probably still are – in your dance outfit. She was wondering what the hell an Arts kid would be doing around her territory."

"Oh, shut up. Just get there soon. I'll pay for lunch if it means you'll show up."

"I'll be there." Santana promises me. I squeal and make my way down the hallway of the History department until I'm out in the sunlight again. It's energy heats up my skin and it makes me feel alive. I hate being clustered in those damn classrooms. I understand that the theatre is usually a dark and closed off place but the adrenaline I get while performing is more than enough to liven up my body and keep me feeling alive.

When I get to the front of the F building, Santana's already there. She has her hair up in a ponytail and is wearing a green dress so tight and short that I'm sure I could see her underwear if I leaned back an inch. She looks hot and she knows it. Santana is one of the hottest girls I've ever met. She has tan skin with a golden glow to it and long dark hair. Her eyes are exotic and as dark as her hair. She has a beautiful mouth that has many boys and girls after her.

She and I have been best friends since our junior year of high school when some stuff went down in the glee club we both belong to. She was – like I previously mentioned – a cheerleader and in fact hated me for a long time before that year. I was the only person there for her when my stupid, asshole of an ex-boyfriend forced her to come out of the closet. Ever since then we've been inseparable. I love her to death and even though it's hard for her to admit it, she loves me too.

"Way to take for fucking ever, Berry." Is her way of greeting me, but I just ignore it and smile.

"Hi to you, too." I step in her comfort zone and hug her because with her you have to push these little displays of affection. She hugs me back even though she makes a groaning noise. "I haven't seen you in forever. Be nice to me, San."

"I saw you Sunday! It's only Tuesday and we live together."

"Regardless. It's only the second week of school back from break and I feel like I hardly see you anymore."

"Again, we saw each other Sunday. And,"she says with more emphasis, "we live together."

"We saw each other for two seconds at Kurt's 'Welcome Back' mixer but that was lame because then you left with some hot blonde girl and left me alone talking to Puckerman. You know I can't stand him. And living together doesn't count because we're never in our dorm room at the same time – I'm gone before you wake up and sleeping before you get home."

"Fine. I'm sorry, okay?" She sounds defensive but then her eyes soften and she barely smiles, tugging at my wrist, "Let's go inside and sit for the entire hour I have free, waiting to see if we spot that girl."

"Yes!" I jump into her arms again and she laughs so I kiss her on the cheek. "Thank you! Thank you! Let's go." She lets me drag her inside and I literally sit her down on a purple chair in the seating area of the deli I found out they had in there. "I'm going to get us some food! Don't move." I order and I leave her side to go figure out what they have to eat around here.

After lunch, I walked Santana to class and sat in the room, on a desk next to hers, talking. I'm done for the day so I'm not in a hurry to leave. We're talking when she comes in, and I stop my sentence halfway, causing Santana to look at the door. She laughs out loud, unabashedly, as if we're alone in the room. The girl looks up and makes eye contact with Santana and I can tell she's blushing, and then she looks at me. It takes her a minute but eventually she recognizes me and a shy smile takes over her lips.

"That's her." I whisper to Santana, still not shifting my gaze from where the blonde is walking. She sits on a desk by the wall, near the door and crosses her legs. She takes out a laptop and pretends to be focused on it.

Santana laughs again before snapping me out of it by pulling my shoulder to face her. "No." She says simply and I furrow my eyebrows because I don't understand.

"No what?"

"No you cannot go for Quinn Fabray."

I smile at the mention of her name and savor it in my lips, "Quinn Fabray. Quinn."

"Rachel! Did you miss what I just told you? No!" Santana is not smiling or laughing anymore. She's looking at me intently and she looks seriously concerned.

"Why not, Santana? Tell me why not." I command, crossing my arms over my chest and bringing my gaze back to that Beautiful Girl. I catch her starting at me but then she looks away at her computer again.

"She's fuckin' Quinn Fabray," Santana starts, noticing our little exchange and scoffing. "She's the head cheerleader. She's impenetrable. She doesn't let anyone in. I've heard from others that she used to be the founder and president of her high school's celibacy club… none of her boyfriends were ever able to get her to put out…" She keeps talking but I've already stopped listening. For someone that used to be the president of a celibacy club she's been staring at me for way too long. I decide to ignore Santana and go for it anyway.

When I stand up, Santana grabs my wrist. "I'll just say 'hi,' okay? Stop this." I tell her with a pointed look at where her hand is in contact with my wrist.

I turn to face Quinn Fabray again, and when I do she's already looking at me with a raised eyebrow and it looks like she's trying to keep her face serious but I see a ghost of a smile threatening to take over her lips. I smile internally and come closer and closer. She turns her body toward me, welcoming my presence and crosses her right knee over her left leg when –

"Okay class. Let's go over the process –" The professor says and it breaks the spell we're under. She laughs under her breath and I cuss silently, stomping my foot without meaning to. Embarrassed by my little tantrum at being interrupted, I simply smile and walk out the door, turning around one last time to land my eyes on Santana, who looks worried.

I consider staying there until the end of class to see if I have the opportunity to talk to the girl but a phone call from a frantic Kurt has me rushing to the auditorium.

I step into the spacious room, searching for him in the dark. "Hello? Kurt?" I call out but there's no answer. I keep walking further inside, trying to see if he's still there. The phone call had been curt and desperate: Rachel, please, meet me in the auditorium. So I rushed here and now he's gone? Whatever. I exhaled loudly and turn about to leave when a cough grabs my attention. He's now sitting on the piano – how he got there without me noticing I'll never know – so I make my way over and sit next to him on the stool.

He's mindlessly playing the same key – middle C – over and over. It's driving me nuts but I don't know why he wants me here so I just sit and try to be as patient as I possibly can. After a long while of neither of us saying anything I snap. "Alright, Kurt. What the hell happened?"

It seems as this is what he's waiting for because the finger on the piano stops playing and his entire body sags into mine as he starts to cry. "I didn't get a callback for that play I really wanted to do. They said I wasn't masculine enough and it reminded me so much of high school when we did that West Side Story play –" I groan because I know exactly of which play he's talking about and I hate it because when I was supposed to help him, I made him feel worse.

I tighten my grip around him and let him cry all of his tears away. When he seems like he's calmed down a bit I smile trying to coerce him into doing the same. "They don't know what kind of talent they're missing. You're amazing, Kurt Hummel." He runs a hand over both eyes and nods.

"I'm so sorry for bothering you with this. It's so petty and stupid."

"No, it's not. You know that if I were you right now I'd probably be behaving the same way." I poke him on his arm and he groans and laughs at the same time. It's a ridiculous sound but it makes me laugh.

"I suppose you're right."

"I'm more than right and you know it."

Kurt has a pensive look on his face as he ponders over what I just told him before he speaks, "you know, Rach, I miss you."

I startle because that's not entirely what I'm expecting. I shrug and get up trying to ignore him.

He keeps talking anyway, "what happened to you? Why do you keep pretending you're someone you're not? I mean, you care about people and about your studies… or you used to. Now you're so closed off and you walk around screwing girls." His voice is not angry or irritated. He sounds confused and genuinely concerned for me.

If I'm being honest, I don't exactly know what happened. I just got tired of people running all over me and screwing me over while I was in high school and I lived in Lima that when I moved to New York for college, I vowed I'd never let someone do that to me again. Somehow, by my second semester in college, I was already so different than my old self (or I pretended to be) that Kurt had to call me out on it. But, I had decided – if anyone was going to break my heart, it'd be me.

The only person I ever talked about this before was Santana and I told her once when we were fighting because she had been one of the people that caused me so much hurt. After we fought, though, I apologized profusely. I baked her 'I'm Sorry' cookies and she made us dinner because she was always terribly sorry. I think this is the reason why she's so concerned about my wellbeing all the time, even though she tries to pretend she's not.

"Talk to me, Rachel. Because I was worried you changed so much beyond recognition that you wouldn't have been here for me but I know that deep down inside you're still Rachel Barbra Berry."

"Kurt. Just drop it, okay?" I beg of him. He looks at me with an expression that says he wants to talk more but he won't because I asked him not to. He nods his head once and dries his eyes once again before standing up and pulling his vest down.

"I have to go. I'm having coffee with that Blaine kid today again."

At this I smile without reserves, "good for you. You really deserve to be happy."

"Thanks, Rach." He smiles and drops his eyes to his shoes, "I hope you realize that so do you. No matter how others made you feel in the past." He turns around and leaves me there, thinking about his parting words.

Even after he's gone, I proceed to do a diva storm out. I'm angry at him for saying those things to me and I'm angry at myself for caring in the first place. Why can't I just not give a fuck and live? I

I end up outside of Santana's class anyway, waiting for her to come out because I don't know what else to do. I could go back to my dorm room and work on homework but I don't feel like doing that and I'm also hoping to catch a glimpse of Quinn Fabray – head cheerleader. That means she has to be at least a sophomore. Freshmen aren't allowed to be head cheerleaders here. How I've never noticed Quinn before I don't know. Maybe I had seen her with the uniform on and hadn't recognized her without it… that'll do. I take out my iPod and put my headphones in, find The Bitch of Living from Spring Awakening and lean my head backwards to rest it on the wall. I close my eyes just for a few minutes to rest while I wait for Santana.

I'm being awakened by someone's toes poking my shin. My eyes reluctantly open to a beautiful smile and a tilted blonde head. She looks amused to see me like this. I freak out, wondering if I have saliva all over my face, but when I check for drool and my hand comes back down dry, she laughs. I laugh along because the situation is funny, I suppose.

She says something and points at me but I can't hear her because my music is blasting, so I take off one of the headphones and prompt her again. "Sorry, what?"

"You're the girl from earlier today. Asking about food."

"Yes." I tell her with a smug smile, "and you are the girl who lied to me." I get up to face her, standing right in her comfort zone.

She takes a step back, outraged by my accusation, "what? When have I lied to you? We barely even spoke."

"You said there was no food in that building when there clearly is a deli." I point out, taking off the other headphone and wrapping them around my music player. I see Santana come out of the classroom with the corner of my eyes but I barely acknowledge her. She shakes her head when she notices who I'm talking to and takes off down the hallway.

"There wasn't – free food is only on Wednesdays and today's Thursday so you missed it by a day." She explains casually, as if that's exactly what happened.

I place my hands on my lips and narrow my eyes. I can't tell if she's a really good liar or if she's telling the truth. "I wasn't there for free food. Why would you think that?"

"That's generally the only time the Arts kids come by The Lounge." She shrugs and sits down, so I sit next to her.

I turn my head sideways to be able to look at her in the eyes when I ask, "How do you know I'm an Arts kid?"

"I've seen you around. I watched you perform in Midsummer's Night Dream last semester. You were amazing. People talked about you for weeks because you were an incoming freshman but apparently your talent is huge."

My cheeks heat up. I had no idea the head cheerleader knew who I was. I didn't even know who she was. Well, I stood by my theory and hoped that I only hadn't recognized her without her uniform on. I bite my lip before I offer my next thought, "I guess I owe you an apology then."

"That'd be nice." She says with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "I'm Quinn Fabray, by the way." She extends her hand, expecting me to shake it, so I do because who am I to turn her hand down?

"I know." I tell her and she seems surprise for a second but then I assume she assumes I know because of her position and the surprised look vanishes. "Rachel Berry." Her shake is firm and I have the impression she has to shake many hands and when she does she has to be authoritative but right now it seems like she's so carefree.

"I know." She says it just like I had, and giggles. "So Rachel Berry, were you stalking me today?" She sits up, placing her hands on her knees and eyeing me carefully.

I laugh, hoping she's joking, because I hadn't been, right? Well, at first I had been looking for her, but seeing her in Santana's class was only a coincidence. "You wish." I mumble and she hums letting me know she heard me. She and I sit for a little while longer until she clears her throat.

"Well, I have to go. I have yet another class to make it to, so…" she gets up slowly and smiles when she's standing over me again. "It was nice to meet you, Rachel Berry."

"Uh, yeah, you, too." I throw at her when she turns around and walks down the hallway. She's clutching her books to her chest, hair bouncing back and forth, and the skirt of her dress dancing around her legs. I let my gaze stay on her butt until she rounds the corner and looks at me with a knowing but shy smile.

A few seconds later (I think) I remember I have functioning legs and I should've offered to walk her to class. I get up and run down the hallway she went, trying to see if I spot her. "Damn it." I mutter when I can't find her in the pool of people. "Smooth, Berry." I tell myself.

Santana appears a second later next to me, with a hand on my shoulder, "how did that go?"

"Where were you? Did you eavesdrop in our conversation? Were you stalking us?" I bombard her with questions because I'm annoyed at myself.

"Oh, come on, Berry. I was around but I wasn't listening in. I wanted to make sure you'd be okay."

I sigh, "Thanks, San. She was very nice. Not a snobby cheerleader like we had in our high school."

"You have to remember she might not be gay. I told you about her having boyfriends, never a girlfriend."

"There's always a first time, right? And maybe she's a spaghetti girl."

"Straight till wet!" Santana finishes for me with a smirk and gives me a high five. "Maybe. Just be careful, okay? A girl like Quinn Fabray won't put out for you just because you're really charming and have a hot bod."

I nod in agreement and then wonder if I'd even want to just fuck her and disappear. She doesn't seem like the kind of girl to do that to. I guess that no girl deserves that but I like to break their hearts before they break mine. I have a feeling that if anything happens with this Quinn girl, I'll fall fast and won't be able to stop myself. "I guess you're right. You told me not even bother with her and I did and now I want to talk to her again."

"Oh, this will not be good." Santana shakes her head and wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me in closer as we start walking back to our dorm, together for the first time in a long time. "Let's think of some way we can have you see again, okay?"

The next time I see Quinn, she doesn't see me at first. It's been a week but I haven't stopped looking for her everywhere I go. I haven't been able to walk Santana to class in a while because I got hung up with helping a girl in my dance class every day at around the same time she has that class. I hate myself for being such a perfectionist sometimes because I'd never have offered if I hadn't noticed that said girl sucked.

It's Wednesday and I remembered her talking about there being free food at The Lounge. I can't believe I didn't know about that for an entire semester – I would've saved so much money. I walk with purpose and confidence when I come in and just like Quinn said, I find myself in a mix of Arts kids and cheerleaders and jocks. I recognize a few faces: Blaine is there, with some girl I remember as Brittany, and her boyfriend Mike Chang. I also see Mercedes and Tina together; they're both in my Theatre I class. I smile at them and approach the two of them, "I had no idea this place had free food on Wednesdays."

I look over at a table packed with hot dog toppings and two people serving the actual hot dogs. "Oh, yes. The cheerleader's sponsors pay for it but the school says they have to serve it to the entire school. It's about the only time you'll see me in here." Mercedes says. She's eating a hot dog with ketchup and mustard.

Tina's only has relish on it and I quirk an eyebrow but ignore it. "Go get something to eat, Rach." She urges me, so I do. I drop my bag down beside their feet and walk over to the other end of the line. I smile and wave at Blaine as I walk there. He waves back and I can see him telling his friends about me.

I kind of feel self-conscious and out of place. I shuffle my feet and take out my iPod. I find a song and run my eyes around the room once more, looking for Quinn. The line shifts forward and then I see her sitting on an oversized purple bean bag, with her ankles crossed, laughing at something a guy is saying. I can't see his face, but I can see hers and she looks like she's having a lot of fun talking to him. I can't help but stare while waiting in line and listening to Skinny Genes by Eliza Doolittle.

Someone pokes me on the shoulder to make me move forward and it's my turn to grab a hot dog bun. I open it and wait for the person to speak, "pork or beef?" The guy asks, looking at me with a bored expression.

"Beef." I'm a good Jew so I still abide by my father's rules even though I don't live at home anymore.

He sticks the wiener in my bun and waves me off so the line can keep moving. I fix my hot dog with ketchup and onions before going back to Mercedes and Tina. I find myself looking back over my shoulder but Quinn has disappeared. My head sags as I approach them.

"What's up?" Tina asks when she notices my disappointed face.

I smile weakly, "Oh, nothing. I was hoping to run into someone here and talk but they're gone." I say as vague as I can. I don't care if they know I like girls, but I can't go around telling everyone I've been trying to get to the head cheerleader. That'd look bad for her, wouldn't it?

"Maybe we can help?" Tina offers.

"Yeah! Who is it?" Mercedes asks a little too excited.

I don't know how much I should tell them. I decide against it and take my first bite. "No one." I mumble, scanning the room again. The third time I do this, my eyes land on Quinn Fabray's eyes from across the room. She's coming out of an office and smiles as soon as we make eye contact. I can't help but mirror her smile. I check around me to make sure that she is indeed looking at me as she makes her way over, and when I realize that yes, yes she is, I put my plate down on the little table over to the side and make my way to her. We meet halfway.

"Hi!" She says with a smile that's so radiant I wonder if I'll need to keep glasses around her.

"Hey!" I look back quickly and notice Mercedes and Tina are staring at us. They look as if they know she's the person I've been talking about but I ignore it and turn back to look at her. "It seems you weren't lying. Free food." I try to make conversation.

She laughs, "Yes, free food. I'm glad you came today." She says as if this is some sort of party she put on and she had been expecting me to show up.

I say as serious as I can, "if you promise to be here every time, I'll show up."

Her eyes widen only slightly at my confession and I see her cheeks turning light pink. She looks coy for a long minute before she clears her throat and says, "Sounds like a deal then."

"Great!" My cheeks hurt from smiling so much. I rub my cheek with my palm and then look at my watch. I only have about twenty minutes before I have to go meet with my dance student, as I like to refer to her as. "Listen," I start to say but then I feel sort of weird with her looking at me so expectant. I divert my eyes and say, "it was really nice to run into you but I have to go."

She looks disappointed, "I understand. Seriously, though, I hope to see you around more."

"I'll be here next Wednesday." I promise and she nods. "I'll see you around." I wink before walking back to where Mercedes and Tina are standing and pick up my bag. "What?" I ask them when I'm standing up straight again with the bag slung across my chest.

They look dumbfounded, "That's Quinn Fabray." Mercedes whispers at me with a harsh, hurried tone.

"I know." I admit.

"She's head cheerleader, Rachel." Tina speaks next, concern taking over her eyes.

I sigh profoundly. This sounds just like the conversation I had with Santana. "I know that. So? She's very nice. You guys have got to get over the whole 'cheerleaders are bitches' stigma."

"I guess if that's how you feel, then…" Mercedes trails off, shrugging her shoulders and Tina looks down.

I say goodbye and leave them there, smiling and waving at Quinn once again before leaving. She was already talking to that blonde guy again but she seemed genuinely surprised that I took my time to acknowledge her.


	2. Something (Beatles)

I'm so pissed off at my psychotic cheerleading coach at the moment that I don't even bother asking for permission to get up and leave her office. She was telling me I should go out with Sam Evans – the star quarterback of our school – just to boost our image and give us more sponsors. The hell I'm going out with Sam Evans. He's nice and funny but he's a bit too concerned with his abs and I can't get past his mouth. Just to think about kissing those lips makes me want to gag inside.

As I shut the door, I'm so deep in thought that I almost miss her, staring right at me but when I do a smile breaks on my face and I don't even realize it until I'm making my way toward her. I don't understand how someone so short can have such presence in a room full of other people like this, but she stands out.

I still remember the first time I saw her last week. She had been looking for a place to eat so she said 'hi' and approached with an adorable cocky smile and asked if there was food here. I assumed she meant free food, like today, so I told her no. I laugh at myself thinking about the next time we met after my class when she accused me of lying.

She's so beautiful. Her jaw is super defined, and her eyes contain this warm quality to them that make me want to plunge inside and drown in them. They are a chocolaty kind of brown. I accidentally lick my lips as I look at hers but I can't help it she has such appealing, plump lips. And her nose, it's a bit bigger than other noses, but it adds charm, and I personally find it very cute.

She starts making her way toward me – finally! – and we meet halfway.

"Hi!" I say with as much energy I can, but then I wince because I sound squeaky and annoying.

"Hey!" She says and looks back at her friends, causing me to wonder if she noticed my voice. I'm so not smooth. I kind of play with the hem of the shirt I'm wearing today, trying to think of something to say to keep the conversation going because I don't want to see her go yet, but she beats me to the punch. "It seems you weren't lying. Free food." I'm thankful she does because I have no idea what I would've said.

I laugh, "Yes, free food. I'm glad you came today." I'm dead serious and I mean every word as they stumble out of my lips. She looks like she's pondering what I say; maybe she doesn't believe me, but I hope she does.

She looks serious, "if you promise to be here every time, I'll show up."

I think my eyes come out of their sockets when I hear her say that. I avoid eye contact and slightly bring my head back up to meet our eyes, "Sounds like a deal then." I can't wait until the next time I get to see her and if she's promising me to show up here every time I show up, then I'll just live here.

"Great!" I can't help but lose my focus of what's going on around me because she's so gorgeous and she's so close to me. I want to reach out and touch her cheek but we're in front of so many of both our friends and Coach just gave me a speech about being time to date a boy again. Plus, we literally just met the other day! "Listen," she says and I focus in on what she's going to tell me, "it was really nice to run into you but I have to go."

I'm disappointed because I've been hoping to see her around school all week since last Thursday and the day we run into each other she has to go so soon but I lie anyway "I understand. Seriously, though, I hope to see you around more." I'm as earnest as I can be and I make sure to not break eye contact as I tell her that.

Then she promises she'll come back, "I'll be here next Wednesday" I nod and she says, "I'll see you around," before throwing me a wink. I watch her go to her friends with a raised eyebrow and my eyes accidentally linger on her ass before she stands up again, throwing her bag across her chest and speaking to her friends who look a little more than dumbfounded. I wonder what they're telling her, but I just shrug it off and walk back toward Sam.

He starts talking about Avatar again and I do my best to pretend I actually care. Then when I look at the door, Rachel Berry is waving me goodbye. I wave back, smiling, and she turns her head down before disappearing out the exit. I sigh and concentrate on what Sam is going on and on about. I have to make up some kind of excuse to get out of here before he kills me with this crap. I'm pretty sure I saw Brittany around here somewhere, before my eyes had landed on Rachel, so I turn around and search for Britt.

I spot her talking to some guy I don't know and her boyfriend, Mike Chang, the school's lead male dancer opposite Britt. He's a junior but she's a sophomore like me. We only know each other because we used to cheer together before she decided to quit to dedicate all of her time to dance. Normally, Arts kids like Britt and Mike wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with a cheerleader like me, but the three of us know each other for so long that we just don't care anymore.

Excusing myself from Sam, earning me a playful pout from him – which, I admit, would've been kind of cute if I cared, – I walk over to Britt and she hugs me with so much force it knocks the air out of me. "Hi, Q. You look pretty today!" She says and hugs me again. I take a step back to balance our bodies and then when she pulls away Mike hugs me too. He introduces me to the other kid, who has a ton of gel on his hair. His name is Blaine and he is a theatre kid.

"Thanks, Britt. You, too. I like your suspenders." I tell her and she beams at them. They're red and they're attached to jean shorts way too high up. She's wearing a gray t-shirt underneath the suspenders and red toms. She's also wearing a beige fedora. "And your hat. You look absolutely adorable."

Mike smiles, "Doesn't she though?" He leans in and kisses her cheek and she grins at him and then at me and claps once excitedly.

"You guys are the best friends ever!"

"Britt, do you want to get out of here?" I tentatively ask her, throwing Mike an apologetic glance because he knows sometimes I need to talk to Britt alone. He waves it off and gives me half a smirk before walking away with Blaine in tow.

"Sure, where do you want to go, Q?"

"I was thinking we could go watch a movie since my evening is free today. And I know so is yours." I wiggle my eyebrow, trying to convince her, and she gives in easily.

"Yes! Let's just go back to mine because I need to change."

I also need to change so I follow her back to her dorm and wait for her to change. She grabs her a coat and a pair of sunglasses, along with a water bottle and follows me to my dorm. Thankfully our rooms are on the same floor. I open the door to my room and my roommate is asleep. It's freaking one in the afternoon – what the hell is she doing asleep? I try not to judge, sigh, and look for my stuff with only one of the lights on. Brittany entertains herself with looking at my pictures around my desk, like always. She always smiles at the same ones.

Grabbing my bag after changing, I lead Brittany out of my room and out of the building. We find ourselves in the front of the Student Union. There's a small, old movie theatre only a few blocks from here so we start making our way and I start conversation.

"So, Britt. Remember how I told you about that play I watched last semester?"

"Oh, yeah! With Rachel Backberry!"

"It's just Berry, Britt."

"Sorry. Blackberries are just so much better than just a berry." She says in all seriousness but I can't help but smile a little at her innocence.

"Well, I actually met her." I inform her and by the way her eyebrows rise to almost hit her hairline, she remembers exactly what I told her then.

"Good for you, Quinn!"

I smile, "I know. She's so… nice. She's nothing like others say about her. 'A diva,' 'obnoxious and loud,' 'selfish,' all those things I've heard others say. She's been nothing but charming and genuine with me."

Brittany smiles right back, her teeth flashing quickly before frowning, "I really hope she isn't any of those things people say because I've heard the same."

"I've been looking for her everywhere ever since we first met. I was in a hurry both times we first talked, and today she's the one who had to run off." I say with some sadness in my voice because it's true, I am sad. We hardly met and already we never get to talk. I hope she doesn't become one of those people that are only acquaintances – that'd suck so much.

"Maybe you should ask her out." Brittany says before uncapping her bottle and taking a large sip. The sun is blazing above us even though it's supposedly winter and it makes me worry about global warming. There's still a cold breeze though, so I pull my coat tighter around me.

I snicker, "Coach kind of wants me to go out with Sam Evans."

"Why?"

"He's the star quarterback… I'm head cheerleader. We're both 'blonde and beautiful,' according to her – it makes sense. It'd look good for the sponsors. But… I mean, I told her I like girls."

Brittany shakes her head, not understanding for a second what Coach Sylvester's plan is. "Forget that plan, Q. Do what makes you happy!" She tells me just as she's opening the door to the movies. I sneak past her and walk to the ticket booths and I buy two for the funniest show they're showing – Britt is a comedy type of girl. I also buy her popcorn because it's nice to treat your friends every once in a while to a movie and popcorn and Mike knows that my relationship with Britt is totally platonic.

"Thanks, Quinn. You're a good friend. I'm sure you'd also make a great girlfriend. You should find out where Rachel works or whatever so you can hang out or you could ask her for her phone or something."

I seriously consider this because I hadn't even remembered we have phones nowadays. I could've asked her for her phone number earlier today but I completely forgot. I giggle quietly and whisper to Brittany because the movie is starting, "thanks, Britt. I'll do just that."

"What? Go find out where she works or ask for her number?" She asks, confused and doesn't even bother to keep her voice down.

I laugh and then stifle it with a hand. When I'm able to speak again I mutter, "Yes," to Brittany and that she understands. She grabs my hands when the movie starts and I lean my head on her shoulder, thankful for having someone as beautiful as my best friend.

That Sunday, I'm at the mall looking for a new pair of boots when I see a flash of a smile I'd recognize from miles away. She looks as refreshing to the eyes as ever – she's wearing skin tight jeans and a yellow sweater with a beanie to match. It got extremely cold over the past days and it finally feels like winter again.

I don't think she sees me because I'm currently inside the Starbucks planning to buy a caramel macchiato for myself. She looks like she's having so much fun hanging out with a brunette whom I recognize from somewhere but I can't quite place her. She's also with a really gay looking boy and… I think that's Blaine? Maybe they're on a double date. No, if she was dating that brunette – no, they weren't. I throw that thought away as fast as it comes into my head. Plus, who's to say that Rachel was into girls at all? Maybe she was just a flirt; one of those guys that are so friendly and nice that everyone assumes she's flirting when in actuality she really is just being nice?

I could stop by the store they just went in and pretend I'm just browsing around, right? Yes! Brilliant, Quinn! I get out of the line and walk across the food court and into the store the four friends went in. I try to browse as casual as possible, looking at racks of jackets before spotting Rachel near the dressing rooms. She's holding four bags, two in each hand, and she looks like she's talking to someone behind one of the doors.

"Quinn, right?" I startle, turning around mortified of being caught staring at Rachel.

Blaine. I relax, shaking my hands a little bit to release the tension and smile, "Yes. Hi, Blaine."

He gives me a smile that could compete with Rachel's for best smile but then again... no. "What are you doing here?" He asks, looking at what I'm wearing once and then looking back up at my eyes.

"I'm just shopping. I had a free day today so…" I trail off and the next thing I know he's holding my hand and dragging me toward the dressing rooms. I follow behind him with no way to get lost before getting to Rachel and then she sees me and then I really can't hide. My lips morph into a smile when our eyes meet. She smiles back and I stand frozen in place while she literally runs the short distance to me.

"Quinn! It's you!" She says. It's as if she's known me for our whole lives and we've been away for years and she's just now seeing me for the first time. I think it's adorable.

"Hello, Rachel." I say, breaking eye contact to nod at the gay boy standing next to her. He looks weary of me but then Rachel turns around and nods once, so he backs off and grabs Blaine by the hand, but before they can go off to search for whatever it is they're looking for in here, Blaine speaks.

"So you guys know each other?" He points from me to Rachel to me again.

I nod once. "Yes, we met two weeks ago," Rachel says.

"I just met her the other day at that free food thing at The Lounge," Blaine explains. "I was bringing her over to introduce you two because she knows Brittany and Mike." He looks at me for confirmation and I nod again. "Kurt, this is Quinn Fabray. Quinn Fabray, this is my boyfriend Kurt."

Kurt extends his hand out and I shake it. His hands are really soft. More soft than mine have ever been.

The other brunette girl that was with the group reemerges from the dressing room and looks me over before throwing the leather jacket she'd been trying it on at Rachel. She grabs it with a huff and glares at the Latina. I recognize her from my Economics class, "You're…" I try to remember her name, snapping my fingers, wanting it to come to me. Why can't I remember her damn name? "I'm sorry. I can't remember your name." I tell her as politely as I can and I leave enough room for her to infer that I'd like to know her name.

Rachel looks from Santana to me with an annoyed expression before smacking Santana on the arm. The girl doesn't even flinch, just keeps staring at me. I don't want to waver but I look at Rachel for help anyway. "This is Santana, Quinn. You have Economics together." I knew that so I nod in agreement.

"It's nice to officially meet you, Santana." I tell her and watch Rachel smile.

Santana just says, "Yeah, whatever, you too." Before turning around and walking away.

"Don't worry. She'll warm up to you eventually." Kurt says before also leaving, Blaine following suit.

It's only me and Rachel and we're both awkwardly silent for a while. She's looking at the leather jacket in her hands. I tug at the back of my neck and then break the silence, "so is…" I want to ask her if Santana's her girlfriend, because I've seen them together in class that one time and now at the mall. Also, she looked pissed off that I was talking to Rachel so maybe she was jealous. I clear my throat and Rachel understands what I'm asking when she looks at where I'm looking. She lands her eyes on Santana's very obvious death glare at me from the other side of the store.

She waves her hand, "oh, no. She's my best friend. A bit over-protective and territorial but really, we're only friends."

I instantly feel the need to apologize first for prying, then for assuming. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry or assume anything about your relationship –" She interrupts me with a soft smile.

"Hey, it's okay. So, what are you doing around here?"

"I'm looking for new boots." I tell her and she nods understandingly.

"Great boots are so hard to find." She says like she's an expert. I cock an eyebrow at her and she smiles, "I'd know. My best friend is a gay man who spends way too much time reading fashion magazines and dreaming about sequins."

I laugh, "Kurt is your best friend, too? How many best friends do you have?"

"As many as I can get." She says and winks before doing a 180° and browsing through some tops to our right. I follow behind, with my hands clasped together behing my back, enchanted by her everything.

"Care for another friend?" I ask her because it's the only way I know how to tell her I want to get to know her without coming off as some weird creeper.

She turns around suddenly and I'm surprised but then I calm down because she's looking at me with wide saucers and an elated smile. She looks as if I just handed her the world and told her it was a new toy and for her to have tons of fun. "You want to be my friend?" She asks with a silky voice, even though just a second ago she looked extremely young and naïve.

"That'd be nice, right?" I attempt and though I'm nervous, I try not to show it. She nods and I remember then what I was doing before I spotted her so I use it to my favor, "so, Rachel Berry would you let me buy you a cup of coffee or something?" I point to the Starbucks I just came from just to get the chance to speak to her and now that I'm here there's no way I'm letting her go.

"I was hoping you'd let me buy you a cup." She admits after a couple of seconds. She turns her head around to check on where her friends have gone. "Just – give me a minute, okay? I'll be right back."

I watch her walk away and it looks like her and Santana are discussing me. I look away and to where Kurt and Blaine are standing, also watching the two talking. Then Kurt looks right at me and shrugs.

Finally, after what it seems like ages, Rachel is by my side again, holding the bags and looking into my eyes. "I'm buying." She says. She sounds so damn assertive and sure that she'll be the one buying so I concede but with a condition.

"Only if I get to buy it next time." When I say it I instantly worry I might've been too forward about wanting to see her again, but a girl can hope right? I can totally think she might actually like seeing me because she always smiles at me and she – she's been flirting with me, right?

She takes a second to breathe and then says, "I'd love that, actually." My heart skips a beat at the tone of her voice. It's dreamy and it has an airy quality. I melt and motion for her to walk ahead and lead our way to the Starbucks and next thing I know we're standing in the line behind a couple of twelve year old girls in too much makeup and in front of a forty-year old smelly man. I could care less though because Rachel Berry is right here next to me.

"What can I get you?" Our cashier, in her late teens asks after the fake tans in front of us wobble away in their pumps.

Rachel looks at me, expecting for my order, and I reply at her instead of at the cashier, "Caramel Macchiato, please." She looks pleased at my choice and turns to the cashier.

"We'll have a grande Caramel Macchiato and a grande White Mocha, please." Rachel smiles at me and then looks at the cashier with a look that says 'get on with it, please.' It's a very demanding look but also polite, in a way. It makes me wonder how she can pack so much assertiveness in such a sweet person. The cashier asks our names and so Rachel tells her, "Rachel and Quinn," pointing at me when she mentions my name. The cashier nods and goes away to hand the cups to a barista.

I just lean in and thank her. "Thank you." I say, and she looks back at me with a huge grin on her face. Then, our cashier is back and Rachel pays her with a twenty dollar bill.

"It's no big deal, Quinn. I'm very pleased to be able to treat you to coffee."

"You have to remember our deal, though. Next time it's my treat."

We move to sit at a round table near a wall decorated with huge bags of coffee from other countries. One says 'Columbia,' another says 'Brazil.' I already gave her the hint that I want to see her again twice, so I hope she notices it. She smiles to herself as she looks around the decorations and is about to say something when a man in a green apron behind the counter calls our names. She stands up before I have the chance to and puts up a hand to stop me.

"I'll get them." She smiles and goes off to grab them.

I melt at how genuinely nice she seems. She brings me my cup and sets it down in front of me before leaving again to grab napkins. When she sits, I can't help but just look at her.

She's also just sitting there, but she's staring at the lid of her coffee, with a thoughtful look etched on her face. I take a chance and call her on it, "What?" I ask softly but with a playfulness in my voice, because I can't contain my giddiness when I'm near her.

She finally looks up and there's an energy in her eyes that draws me closer; my body leans toward her without me even telling it to. I place a hand on the table and a hand on my cup of coffee and I take a sip while she's considering her answer.

"I'm just wondering how I got so lucky, that's all." She says under her breath and I choke on the coffee going down my throat. I cough loudly and not lady-like at all, trying to clear my passageway so I can breathe. I didn't mean for it to sound like I was put off by what she said but she looks up at me with clear worry in her eyes and I set out to correct myself. "Are you okay?" She asks tentatively, eyes fixed on something above my head, then they concentrate on my face.

I cough again and dab my lips with a napkin before shooting a soft glance at her until she makes eye contact. When she does I smile and say, "Of course I am. I – I just got surprised by what you said, that's all." I tell her hoping she understands that by that I mean I'm super stoked she feels that way around me.

"I'm sorry if I was too blunt," she frowns and looks away again and I have to grab one of her hands hovering around her cup (for warmth I assume) and then our eyes lock again.

"Don't apologize. I don't mind." I don't mind at all. I like it a lot. By the way she said she was lucky – I mean, I have to ask her what she meant by that so I do, "what did you mean you got lucky?" I let go of her hand to bring my cup back to my lips again, this time paying close attention so I don't nearly die because of what she says.

She waits until she knows I have swallowed and then clears her throat, "well, because when I went out today I wasn't expecting to run into you and have coffee."

I feel my cheeks burn lightly at her confession and then I say, "so you're saying you're lucky because –"

"We're finally hanging out for longer than five minutes?" She finishes her statement as a question and nods at herself before her warm eyes land on mine again. I swear, every time she has that coy look in her eyes when she's not so sure of what is going on but wants to know, it kills me.

"In that case, I'm just as lucky, if not more." I tell her and she perks up visibly, eyes widening in curiosity.

"Yeah?"

"Yes." I exhale at the word because yes, I finally get to spend some time with her, too. "If I tell you a secret, you promise you won't laugh?" I ask her with a secretive tone of voice and bite my lip, trying to contain my embarrassment of what I'm about to say.

She nods in all seriousness; she means business. By the way she looks at me next I know I can trust her not to laugh.

I inhale sharply and look down at the coffee cup in my hands, "when I went and saw that play last semester…" I motion my hand over my shoulder a couple of times, "I… well, I couldn't not look at you on stage. I mean, you're…" breathtaking, "so good." I tell her because I don't want to sound like a creepy stalker or a hopeful fan that got lucky and got to meet her. We're only in college after all, it's not like she's a Broadway star or Hollywood starlet yet… key word being yet. She smiles shyly and takes a sip of her own coffee for the first time. I assume she was waiting for it to cool down a bit; I like mine scalding. "After that play, I'd often look for other works you'd be in but I was never able to make it to them with cheer practice and games and stuff."

"Quinn Fabray, you're a fan of mine." She says with amused eyes and voice, but she's not laughing. She does have a cocky smile on her face and I witness the shyness being replaced by elation and joy. I nod at her statement, completely embarrassed, expecting her to ask if I want her to sign me an autograph or something but instead she just taps me on my hand and I look up. "I'm surprised."

"Why?" I ask and I promise my voice sounds as high-pitched as that Kurt's kid.

"Well, you're Quinn Fabray, head cheerleader. When I told my best friend Santana about you she basically flipped a shit saying you're impenetrable and that we could never be," together, "friends."

I try to be serious but at this I laugh. I mean, I guess it is hard for me to let guys grope me and rub their boners on my ass, but I'm no means such a closed off bitch as people make me sound. She quirks an eyebrow at me, waiting for my rebuttal, and I shrug. "No, I'm not impenetrable. It just depends on the person; the right person can get anything out of me."

She scoffs once as if she has just accepted the challenge (which for her, I don't think it'll be a challenge at all) and takes another gulp of her coffee. Then I talk again, "so you see – that's why I'm so lucky. Because since that day I've been wondering about who you are and hoping to run into you." It's a big leap but she points at herself, tip of her index finger to her chest, and cup of coffee on her lips, and I half-smile, letting her know that yes, you.

When she puts down the cup, she runs a hand through her luscious dark hair and picks at the sinfully short red skirt she's wearing, "I don't think you understand," she starts and it shoots a shiver through my spine because I'm hoping she's not about to tell me to slow down, but instead (and to my happiness) she says, "you're the good part of this… deal." She waves her hand between our bodies.

"I'm just a boring cheerleader, Rachel. You have so much raw talent and – I don't even know how to describe. You have this magnetic pull on your audience that has everyone wanting to listen to everything you say, not matter how small or big in importance. Like, if you were to tell me that a cow makes milk, I'd listen to it intently, just because of how you say it." I fear I said too much but she apparently doesn't even notice because she's shaking her head and disagreeing.

"Quinn, you're head cheerleader. That must mean you have great abilities and talents. Let's see: you have to be organized, persuasive, a natural leader, smart, agile, strong, and, I mean, everyone can see how beautiful you are." She looks convinced that she won our little argument but I'm quick to retort.

"Those have nothing to do with talent. They're skills I picked up because I had to survive in high school. You have an innate ability to just – gosh, I don't know. It's insane, Rachel."

"You have absolutely no idea how special you are, do you?" She asks me in a quite, reflexive voice and it completely throws me off because that's not at all what I was expecting out of her mouth next. How can she know how special I am if we've only met recently? She looks so sure of her assertion that I shake my head in response and so she keeps going. "I have – had – this preconceived notion of all cheerleaders because of what they did to my best friend…" she says and one of my brow rises, wanting answers, but she waves it off and says, "later," relating to that story about cheerleaders and Santana. Then she takes a sip of her mocha and sighs, "But when I met you, I didn't even know you were a cheerleader until Santana told me. I mean, being a cheerleader doesn't define you. You're more than that. I can see it in you. The first time I saw you coming out of The Lounge my world literally started spinning in slow motion. That's something only a special person can accomplish."

"Rachel," I try to make her stop because she doesn't know me, as much as I wish she did and hope she's right. But this Quinn Fabray is only someone that Rachel witnesses. Somehow, this girl who I met not even two weeks ago makes me better. "I'm not this comfortable with anyone else." I admit. "It's like you and I just clicked, okay? It takes me ages to warm up to someone as I've warmed up to you."

"But you said you weren't impenetrable."

"I'm not, but I'm not the nicest person you'll ever meet." I have to be honest with her because I don't want her to expect something out of me and then witness me around someone that's not her and be put off by it. "Sometimes I have to be mean as head cheerleader. It comes with the job."

"I don't believe that, Quinn Fabray." Then after a beat, she senses our topic has become too heavy. "When do you guys have a game again?" She asks and I purse my lips to think.

After going over a mental schedule of the next week I tell her, "I think we have a game this Tuesday but it's an away game. The next home game we have is on Friday."

She smiles, "that's perfect! Friday night I'm definitely free." She fishes out her phone from her pocket and I nod alongside her because that means she's coming to watch me cheer and it makes my stomach flip but it also makes it flop. I'm so content at this so I contemplate asking for her number or something so we can arrange another time to hang out before then and grab coffee but she (again) is a step ahead of me. She shoves her phone at me and says, "Will you punch in your number?" Her voice is cautious and hopeful, "I don't want to only be able to hang out with you when we run into each other at random places."

I'm thankful she's asking me for my number. I save my number under 'Quinn Fabray' for her and give her the phone back. "Yes, that sounds more convenient." She and I laugh for a while and then I say, "but you'll still be there on Wednesday, right?"

"I told you already, Quinn. If you're there, I'm there." She says and starts typing a message. Right at this moment her friends show up by the door, looking for her.

"There you are." Kurt says, frantic.

"What? I told you guys I'd be here." She says, and apparently she's finished with the text. She pockets her phone and looks at them with expectant eyes.

Santana speaks next, "we have to go, Berry. We're going to be late for our movie." She comes in closer and tugs at her elbow, urging her to get up. Rachel doesn't have a choice but to comply. I feel my phone vibrate.

"I'm so sorry." She points at her friends by the door, "We had plans and –"

I cut her off, "no, that's alright. I did interrupt your time with them." I also stand up to stand right next to the two brunettes and wave at Kurt and Blaine by the door. They try to look disinterested at what's going on but I catch them looking three times. "I'm sorry for interrupting your friend time, Santana." I tell her genuinely but she just shrugs and walks back to the boys.

"She'll warm up to you." Rachel reassures me before bending over to grab her bags and then her cup of coffee. "I'm really sorry for running out on you."

"It's not a problem, really. And, yeah, Kurt told me she'd warm up to me. I'm hoping it won't be a problem with us… hanging out."

Rachel's head snaps side to side so quickly I fear she'll break her neck, "it won't be. Seriously."

"You should uh," I want to ask her to call me sometime but is that too forward? I don't know.

"You should call me sometime this week." She says before hugging me. It happens so fast I'm not even aware of how close our bodies are until she's gone and I miss her arms around my waist. I quickly look at Santana to see if she's going to kill me (because she gives off serious serial killer vibes) but she's explaining something to Kurt and Blaine, making excessive hand gestures.

I then realize what Rachel said and tell her, "but I don't have your number."

She feigns thinking and says, "yes, you do." She turns around to walk to her friends. I sigh and she turns around, walking backwards a few feet, "bye, Quinn." She smiles again and turns to say something to Kurt.

I stand there dumbfounded. Then I feel my phone vibrate again and when I check it says I have two new text messages from an unknown number. When I open them, I wonder how I hadn't figured it out yet that she had been the person to text me.

(614) 337-8976: Save my number. You'll be hearing a lot from me. ;)

(614) 337-8976: It was very nice hanging out with you today. And I'll see you Wednesday!

I couldn't be happier at the moment. I save her number under 'Rachel' and hope she's wrong about Wednesday because if I can help it, we'll be hanging out sooner.


	3. You Fuckin' Did It (Jason Mraz)

"Will you punch in your number? I don't want to only be able to hang out with you when we run into each other at random places." I'm trying to convey confidence but in my head I'm failing badly. I sound needy and clingy already, I just know it. I ask for her number but I'm doing the math in my head of when it'll be appropriate to call her.

She does as I asked and hands me my phone back and cracks a joke which I have to laugh at because it's too true. "Yes, that sounds more convenient." After a moment of silence she asks, "but you'll still be there on Wednesday, right?" Is it only me or is she worried I won't show up? Because I meant it when I told her I'd be there.

"I told you already, Quinn. If you're there, I'm there." I'm typing her a quick flirty message so she can save my number when I hear Kurt's voice.

"There you are."

He said that as if I had disappeared around the mall, leaving them all hanging. I had clearly told Santana what I had intended to do, with whom, and where. "What? I told you guys I'd be here." I put away my phone and look at them, expecting an answer.

"We have to go, Berry. We're going to be late for our movie." Santana sounds irritated already and I think it's because I left her alone with the Wonder Twins to hang out with someone else; none other than Quinn Fabray. She tugs me up by the elbow and I really don't want to leave because the conversation I just had with Quinn was only an appetizer.

I do have to leave tough because I'm not the kind of girl to ditch my friends just for a girl I know for less than two weeks, "I'm so sorry. We had plans and –" I try to excuse myself but she doesn't let me finish.

When she speaks her voice is completely neutral, "no, that's alright. I did interrupt your time with them." She stands with me and acknowledges my friends. "I'm sorry for getting in your friend time, Santana." I hear her tell Santana but Santana doesn't care and turns away.

"She'll warm up to you." I'm really hoping Santana won't be a problem for Quinn because it'd be horrible if she scared her away. "I'm really sorry for running out on you."

"It's not a problem, really. And, yeah, Kurt told me she'd warm up to me. I'm hoping it won't be a problem with us… hanging out."

Here we go – here is my fear, "it won't be. Seriously." I'll have to have yet another talk with Santana about being nice to the girls I want to hang out with.

"You should uh," she starts saying but she stops there and looks like she's struggling with something in her mind so I take it as an opportunity. Since now she has my number I tell her to call me and then I hug her as fast as I can, trying to get some contact and not to scare her off at the same time.

She says, "but I don't have your number," and I swear – or is it just wishful thinking – that she sounds extremely sad about that fact?

I reassure her that she does because I sent her the text, but I realize she hasn't checked her phone yet. She was polite and ignored my text message not knowing it was from me. Still, kudos to her.

"Yes, you do." I let her know before turning around to meet with Blaine, Kurt and Santana. "Bye, Quinn," I say as I walk backward so I'm able to tell her looking into her eyes. I look at Kurt and tell him I got her number excitedly for which I get a scoff from Santana.

I text her again and wait for an answer.

Quinn Fabray: I had fun. Thank you so much for buying the coffee. :)

Santana and Kurt both advise me not to text her too much if I want to keep her interested and not smother her already, so I listen to them and follow my three friends up the escalator to the third floor of the mall where the movie theatre is. I keep looking behind to see if for some reason Quinn is coming, too, but she isn't. I sigh and go back to listening to my friends. I was having fun before seeing her, right? What difference will it make now that she's not here?

I'm done with the dance lesson early that Tuesday so I shower and occupy myself with homework for English. I'm supposed to be brainstorming an essay but I can't concentrate because I've found myself wondering what Quinn could possibly be doing right now; she hasn't called ever since I gave her my number Sunday and I'm starting to wonder if I should call since I asked for hers first.

I know she has that class with Santana right about this time. I consider going there just to say hi to both of them but wouldn't that seem kind of stalker-ish? That's a bit extreme, even for me.

Whatever. I decide to go for it anyway and get up, grabbing my bag and throwing it over my head like always. My hair is still wet from the shower I just took so I put it up in a messy ponytail and then pick a song on my iPod while putting my earphones in.

My phone rings breaking through my song and it makes me sigh because I hate it when it's getting to a really good part and it gets interrupted. I pick up without checking to see who it is, irritation brimming at the tip of my tongue.

"Yes?" I say.

"Hello? Rachel?" Holy shit. Quinn Fabray is calling me. She called me. She's on the phone with me. On the other line. Same connection. Okay, don't freak out. I face palm. I inhale and exhale.

"Oh, hi, Quinn!" My tone of voice changes completely, going from 'I'm going to murder you' to 'I want to drown you in kisses,' but neither of those thoughts are appropriate. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you calling or I would've been… nicer." How lame could I be?

She laughs and I relax at the sound, "Don't worry. I'm a college student, too. I know how life gets."

"Good. So, what's up?" I make my way out of the studio, closing the door shut, and walk to the front of the building. I pass by the girl working as a receptionist that day and wave goodbye to her. She waves back with a shy gesture, blushing at me. We hooked up once, I remember that much. I don't recall her name, though.

"Well, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to, um, hang out? Class got cancelled."

That's interesting. Of course I want to hang out! She must be psychic, calling me when I was thinking of her. "I was just thinking about you." I blurt out. Then I recollect myself and say, "Yeah, hanging out would be nice. Where do you want to meet?"

I step out into the cold air of New York and realize that I forgot a coat. Great, now my hair is wet and I don't have a coat. When I start to walk though, I notice that Quinn's voice is a lot closer.

"How about I pick you up by the dance building?" She says and I turn around to be met by a wall of gorgeous. I smell that faint scent from the first day we ever met and I smile. She and I both turn off our phones simultaneously and she frowns with a smile to says, "I asked Santana if she knew where I could find you. I hope I'm not – smothering you."

I shiver, "of course not! I was actually about to go there to say hi to you after class. I guess I got lucky your professor cancelled class." It's cold. Very cold, but I don't want to look like an idiot for not having my coat on.

She seems to notice I'm shivering slightly though because she gasps and takes two steps closer, "You don't have a coat," she remarks. I shake my head and rub my arms. "Rachel. It's New York. It's winter. How the hell can you forget a coat?" There's concern in her voice when she chastises me. I smirk at how she speaks to me because it'd seem like she was my girlfriend.

I shrug, "I forgot it in my dance locker and didn't feel like going back to grab it."

She exhales irritated, "Come on. Let's get you out of here. This will not be good for you with the wet hair and the cold air." She places a hand on my lower back and makes me move. We walk as fast as we both can to my dorm building. She offered me her coat a few times on our way over because she claims to have built immunity to bad weather. Apparently her cheer coach does not give a damn about the weather when they have practice. I still insisted she kept it.

When we arrive at my room, Santana is not there. I count this as a good thing at the moment because she'd also be pissed if she saw me not wearing a coat and I'd have to hear a speech about getting sick and how she wouldn't take care of me (even though she would) and yadda yadda yadda. I walk in first and hold the door open, apologizing profusely for the mess Santana is. Quinn doesn't seem to mind though and I tell her to sit at my desk, so she does. She crosses her legs and looks around the room, taking in all the posters San and I have collected over the months. My side of the room has posters of Musicals and classical movies. I also have a few classic Literature novels, like Shakespearean plays and things like that. Santana has posters of action flicks and hot girls. No joke, sometimes she's worse than a guy. I told her that would put off other girls, but she didn't care.

"Sorry for the mess," I apologize again.

She dismisses it again, "My room is probably worse."

So maybe my room isn't that bad. My side is organized anyway. It's mostly Santana's clothes and books strewn all over the room. I pick them up and place her books on her desk and her clothes on her bed, the top bunk. Quinn smiles at me when I stop moving around and says, "you don't have to clean up for me."

"If I don't pick that up, Santana never will."

She turns her body to face the other side of the room, and stands up when a poster catches her attention. She walks over to it and tilts her head to the side, "You and her know each other well, huh?"

I walk over to the bathroom, leaving the door open, and plug in a blow dryer. "Yeah, she pretty much knows me more than I know myself." I have to raise my voice for her to hear me.

She seems to ponder over this and hums quietly when she moves to the next poster, "I have a friend that I like to think knows me better than I know myself, too."

"Really?" I ask her and instead of blow drying my hair, I come out of the bathroom and sit on my desk and wait for her to talk.

She turns around and crosses her arms, leaning back against the dresser. "Yeah, Britt." She smiles and purses her lips, thinking about the girl. "A lot of people think she's dumb and naïve, but really she's the most honest person I've ever met – with herself and with others."

I remember Blaine telling me that he met Quinn through Brittany S. Pierce and Mike Chang. I know who she's talking about and I try not to show Quinn that I'm actually one of the people who have judged Brittany in the past for being a little slower than most, "I know who you're talking about. We sort of share the same group of friends but we aren't so close. We've actually been in the same play once but we hardly talked because our scenes had nothing to do with each other."

I feel like I offered too much information but she just nods and goes back to looking at the posters, "it's funny. I love the Arts so much. I don't understand why this school makes such a big deal about people either being a jock or an art kid." She sounds reverent when she says it, completely distraught by the idea and my heart aches because I agree. This dumb system gets to me sometimes but it's mostly because I know Santana misses being a cheerleader. Sometimes I think she hasn't tried out yet because of me; because she knows of the implications.

"If it bothers you so much, why don't you do something about it?"

She scoffs, "Rachel, I can't possibly change the entire system because I like the Arts."

I shrug, "I guess you're right."

"And I already hang out with Britt and Mike. And now… I hang out with you."

I know what she's trying to say. She's trying to say that she shouldn't hang out with me because of who she is.

"But you don't care, right?" I ask to make sure because it'd have been a terrible joke if now she tells me we couldn't hang out.

"I don't give a damn." She says easily. I laugh. Thank Moses.

She moves over to look at the pictures I have on my desk. There's one of me and my two fathers when I won a singing competition when I was seven; there's one of me and Santana in her backyard, sipping lemonades summer of Senior year; there's one of me, Kurt, and Finn – my ex-boyfriend who just so happens to be Kurt's step-brother. I know I shouldn't have it up. Santana has threatened to take me to the psychiatrist many times because of that picture, but even though Finn was an asshole to her and he disappointed me, I still consider him a friend… somewhat.

"Are these your parents?" She asks with a curious intonation and her brows furrowed, while staring at the picture of me and my fathers.

"Yes."

"They seem nice." She says and points at another picture, "I know Kurt, but uh, who's this guy? I haven't seen him around."

I don't want to lie but I don't want to bombard her with the entire story yet so instead I say, "he's a friend. He goes to school back in Ohio and he is Kurt's step-brother."

She runs a hand through her hair and looks at my picture with Santana again before turning back around. She's biting her lip, contemplating my answer, "Ohio, huh? I'm from there, too."

I wasn't expecting that. I laugh and make my way over to my desk, opening the first drawer and pulling out my senior yearbook. "What a coincidence." I hand it over to her and she starts skimming it, humming every so often when she sees a picture she approves of. I find it endearing when she hums to herself. Then she finds my senior picture and gasps.

"God, Rachel. You look… great." She gulps. I can see it when she does and I'm hoping it is a good thing. I smile and step back to give her room to look at more stuff. I finally go back in the bathroom, turn on the blow dryer and dry my hair. When I'm done with that and the dryer is back in its place, she hands the yearbook back to me.

"McKinley High School, Lima, Ohio. That's so interesting. I know someone that went there." She rubs the back of her neck and I wait for her to say their name. "Um, Artie Abrams?" She ventures and of course I know Artie!

"Oh! Yes. I know Artie! He was in the glee club with San, Kurt, and I."

"Really? He might've mentioned it but I was always involved in the sports and didn't have much time to think about glee clubs or stuff like that."

"How do you two know each other?" I ask because Artie is definitely an Arts kid and he went to McKinley, and he was in a wheelchair. I'm trying to think of possibilities to how they know each other but then she replies.

"His father and my father actually went to Ohio State together. They're really good friends. I'm from Columbus, so we're only a few hours away from you guys. Artie's and my families used to barbeque together all the time."

I'm so surprised at this information. If Artie had a friend as hot and charming as Quinn Fabray, why had he never talked about her? I put it off for later and ask her something else.

"If you're so interested in the Arts but aren't an Arts major, what are you studying?"

She bites her lips and glances at the floor, "I do love the Arts. A lot. But I'm studying Anthropology."

"And that is –" I'm assuming I sound dumb because clearly I should know what Anthropology is if she's studying it.

She smiles as if she knew I wasn't going to know what it was, "It's the study of people and cultures over time. Don't worry, most people also have never heard of it until they get to college." It's reassuring that I'm not the only dumbass in the planet.

"That sounds very interesting." I tell her. I'm not lying. "Learning about other cultures sounds like an amazing thing to do. You must be very smart." I start to feel a faint headache, but I ignore it.

"What's yours?"

"My what?"

"Your major." She says and it dawns on me that she has no idea what I'm studying because she's seen me in the dance clothes, and she's seen me in the play, but what is it really?

"Theatre Arts, Musical Theatre concentration." I tell her.

"Musical theatre?" She wonders out loud and smiles dreamily. "That's amazing. I've always loved Broadway. That must mean you're an amazing singer." She says.

I nod. It's true. I am. Most people know me because of my singing. She laughs at my honesty and I laugh along but then I have to defend myself so she doesn't think I'm conceited – which I guess I can be sometimes. "I have videos from glee club, if you want to watch them. Then you'll see I'm not lying and I'm as good as I claim to be."

"Okay." She tells me so I walk to my bed where my computer is and pick it up. I put it on top of the desk and tell her to sit down on my chair. There are only two chairs in the room, so I stand behind her while looking for my videos in my files. I don't want to use Santana's chair for two reasons. One, one of the legs is broken. Two, this gives me an excuse to have an arm around Quinn to reach the laptop and be close to her. I use my right arm to move the mouse and have my head poking from behind her left side. We're so close I can smell the scent of her coconut shampoo. I close my eyes at the smell. Mixed with it is that smell I can't figure out what it is but I have decided it is my favorite perfume.

I pull up a video of my glee club at Nationals in New York actually. The first time I visited. I performed a song with Finn that day, called Pretending that he wrote for us while he was trying to get back with me. I sound amazing, I know that. There's so much emotion in our performance. As soon as we're done, the band's playing a song Santana wrote. Our original songs were the best. Santana starts us off in this song and I smile at the memory.

"Damn, she's really good." Quinn says and I just nod in agreement. When the video is done she manages to also say, "and you're even better. Holy hell, Rachel. How can someone as tiny as you pack so much voice?" She's teasing me.

"What can I say? I'm amazing like that."

"I know. Remember what I said about how I felt when you were performing in A Midsummer's Night Dream? Well, this was just like that but even more powerful."

"I'm glad you like it."

"Are you kidding? I love it!" She turns at the computer again and plays the same video over from the beginning but this time she pauses right at the end of the first song and I see that she paused on a frame of me and Finn gazing into each other's eyes. There's no passion or love in my eyes while looking up at him but there is some kind of tension. "He isn't just a friend, is he?" She asks and then points her index finger at Finn.

There's no use in trying to avoid this so I step back from her and sit on my bed. "No, no he isn't." I tell her with my chin on a hand that's propped on my knee. "He's my ex-boyfriend. There's a lot of shitty history with that one so I try not to think about him so much."

"Well, Rachel, you do have a picture with him and Kurt right here." She picks it up and I cringe. She really did have to point that out, right?

"I know. It's just – he means a lot to me no matter how big of an asshole he was to Santana… and sort of a crappy boyfriend." My voice is weak and I know I sound weak and defeated. "We were good… when he wasn't… bad?"

Quinn turns around and straddles the chair and I'm so damn thankful she's wearing jeans. "How long did you guys go out for?"

"A while. Most of high school. On and off, you know how it is." I want to change subjects. I need a reason to stop talking about Finn and our relationship and our past. This talk about Finn is only making my headache worse. I rub my temple.

She thinks about it, with her chin resting on the chair and her hands holding onto the sides. "Sounds like a complicated relationship." I nod and lie on my back. "But you're over him? No residual feelings… and stuff?"

I shoot right back up, "No! No, definitely not!"

There's a small smile on her lips and she looks amused at the way I reacted to her question. "You can ask me a question, you know." She prompts. I don't understand what she wants at first, and I think she can tell because she keeps talking. "You can ask me something you'd like to know about me. It's only fair, right?"

She's right. I lie back down and get comfortable thinking and I feel the weight of her beautiful hazel eyes on me. "You and… the blonde kid. I think his name is… Sam Evans? The quarterback."

"That wasn't much of a question, was it? More like a statement." She points out and laughs.

I pull on the sheets underneath my hand, because I need something to do, "Well, you know what I meant. Is he your boyfriend?"

I hope I don't sound too put off by that idea because if he is, I don't want her to be upset with me. All I can now is wait for her to respond and she seems to be considering her options before speaking up. She's cautious when she speaks, "He's a great guy…" I sigh and close my eyes, "But he's not the guy for me."

I stay silent. I don't know if she wants to say more but I give her space to talk if she wants to. Then, out of nowhere, I sneeze. It's really loud and it hurts my abs when it happens. I groan at the pain it shot up my belly and she laughs at me.

"I think you're getting sick, Ms. Berry." She says, in a faux doctor voice. "I warned you about the hair and the cold."

"What are you – a doctor?" I ask and shoot her a glare from my bed, only raising my head enough for her to see. She laughs louder.

"You can't say it's not true though. I did properly scold you for forgetting your coat."

"I'm not sick. It was just a sneeze." I'm very stubborn and I don't want her to have the satisfaction of saying 'I told you so,' even though she kind of already did but in other words.

I hear her shuffling to get up and put the chair back in its place, "Let's go get some food." She says.

Without thinking I stand up, but I do so too fast and get dizzy. I reach for the bed again to steady myself and she realizes this.

"Whoa, slow down." She cups my right elbow and places her left hand on my hip to help me sit. "Are you okay?" She's worried and the furrowed brows are evidence. She licks her lips once and brings her hand up to my forehead to feel if I have a fever or not. "You're not feverish but maybe we should just stay in and order takeout, how's that sound?"

"Okay, sounds great. I have the number for a Chinese place on my white board, right there." I point at the white board that's propped up on my desk, leaning on the wall. It's right behind the laptop so she goes up to it and uses her phone to call.

"Do you want anything specific?" She asks while it's ringing.

I shrug, "whatever you want. I eat pretty much anything on their menu." Okay, so maybe I don't eat the pork stuff because I'd feel like a really bad Jew. I tell her that, "Except for anything with pork. So I guess not everything."

She nods firmly and her attention is on the phone call. "Hi. Yes, I'd like to order a beef lo mein, sweet and sour chicken and fried rice." She hums in agreement with some of what the lady says. After a few minutes in silence she asks, "20 minutes? Sounds perfect. Thank you." She hangs up and looks at me with a closed-lip smile. "They'll be here in 20 minutes. No pork?"

I shake my head.

"So like, no bacon?" She looks worried.

I shake my head with a smile.

"Ever?" Her eyes widen as she comes to the horrendous conclusion.

"No, I'm sorry." I tell her laughing and she looks absolutely appalled.

"You're lucky I think you're cool otherwise I think our friendship would've ended right here."

I gasp dramatically, "You wouldn't stop being my friend because of bacon?" She bites her bottom lip and can't contain the grin taking over her face. I like mischievous Quinn. "I'm Jew, Quinn! It's part of the requirement."

The grin breaks into full laughter, "I'm kidding. Definitely. Anyway, what would you like to do now?"

I have a few ideas of what she and I could do for 20 minutes while we wait for takeout but I can't voice any of them. She comes over and sits at the edge of my bed. I look up at her from where I am and tell her, "you pick."

She shakes her head, "I already picked the food. You pick the entertainment."

I pretend to think for a bit, "How about 'Go Fish'?" I smile at her and she smiles back with a nod.

"Definitely."

I move to get up, slower this time, and when I sit at the edge of the bed, our hands brush each other's. I feel something fuzzy in my stomach but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with me getting sick. She pushes my back to help me up and watches intently to make sure I stay up. I walk across the room, back to my desk and open the first drawer to find my deck of playing cards. They're under some folders and index cards. "Here!" I tell her and sit on the floor, cross-legged.

She sits in front of me and smirks, "Be prepared. I'm so good at this game – you'll be crying by the end."

"There's no way." I retort and she glares at me but it's not menacing in any way shape or form. It's just plain adorable.

I mumble something like, "stop being cute – it won't work in your favor," while I'm shuffling the cards.

She just laughs, a little bit more shy than usual, and then tells me "to hurry up and deal."

I do and our game begins. After the first few rounds – she's won two and I've won one – I play music on my iPod and leave it next to my thigh. The first song to come up is Where'd You Go by Fort Minor and she hums in agreement and starts to quietly sing along. I can barely hear her voice but from what I can, her voice is as great singing as when she's talking. The rapping starts and I see her lips move but she doesn't rap any louder than what she was whispering.

"Go fish," I say, and she reaches for the deck, "Are you really rapping along?" I ask incredulously.

"I have many hidden talents, Rachel. Along with beating people's ass at Go Fish, I'm an awesome rapper."

"Do you have any '9's?" I ask her and give her time to look, while looking at my own cards and putting them in order, "You're probably the whitest girl I've ever met. It's kind of a surprise." I joke and she looks up at me with alert eyes. She's surprised and I find it hilarious she's offended at me calling her white.

"I'm not that white." She mutters, and follows with, "Go fish," much louder than the first sentence.

Five minutes later there's a knock on our door and I get up. She gets up along with me, still concerned about if I'm feeling well or not. I open the door and greet the delivery guy. I've had him a few times already so I know him by name. He asks how I am and hands over the food. Quinn shows up beside me with money to hand it to him.

"Quinn. No! It's on me." I tell her, looking at Tom – the delivery guy – so he won't accept her money. My hands are full with the sac so I have to put it on the floor, next to the cards, before I'm able to reach for the money in the back pocket of my pants. Tom looks confused and hands the money back to Quinn. She won't take it back.

With a gentle touch, she pushes his hand back toward him, "No. Keep it." She tells him with a stern voice. She sounds so authoritative that even I stop moving. I look up at him and he's looking at me, not knowing what to do. I look at her and she's already looking at me with an unwavering expression. "You bought the coffee – it's my treat."

"Coffee doesn't even compare." I try to argue.

Her eyes soften and she looks down at the floor briefly before looking up at me, certain of her decision. "Just let me buy it this time, Rachel." I nod because I can't say no to her when she talks like that and looks like that. Tucking my money in the spot I grabbed it from, I look at Tom and thank him. He assures it's no problem before walking down the hallway. I close the door and look at her.

"That wasn't fair. I told you to stop being cute."

She laughs and makes way to where the food and cards are, "Only when we were playing." She says, as if she's the most innocent girl in the room. I almost buy it. I grab two beers from my mini fridge, and offer it to her. She grabs one of them and opens the can.

"I never stated a time or place in which you couldn't be cute. I said it in general when you are trying to get your way from me." I open my can and toast her, "for having non-cute friends." I wink and she starts laughing and has to keep her hand away from her body so the beer doesn't spill. Once she settles down, we both take a sip and dig in the food.

When we're full, we've completely forgotten about the game. The entire time we were eating, we were talking about classes and which ones we enjoy the most or hate the most. She enjoys her Physical Anthropology course the best and despises the Economics class she shares with Santana. She argued that a professor makes all the difference in a class and that her Economics professor was both monotone and uninteresting. I asked if those words could be synonymous and she assured me that one could be monotone and be interesting and vice versa. I told her my least favorite class was any core class I had to take, but if I had to pick one I hate the most it would be Chemistry. Something about all the formulas and balancing didn't work for me. She admitted to sort of liking the structure of Chemistry and how it is everywhere around us. I also couldn't pick a favorite. I told her I liked anything that had to do with acting or music or dance. Her laugh was so genuine and inviting each time she laughed with me that it only made me wish to make her laugh more.

She's stretched out on my floor with a hand on her stomach, "I feel like I ate an entire heifer."

I'm sitting with my back to my bed, "I know! I had to fight to get some food from you."

She laughs at the joke and closes her eyes, "Whatever. You still ate more than I did. How the hell are you even not throwing up right now?"

I close my eyes too, "now that you mention it, I might want to." I force one eye open and watch her look at me in panic. "Just kidding."

She closes her eyes again and giggles, "You're funny." She's being sarcastic and I appreciate the fact that it seems like she's just being herself. I open my eyes again and make sure she really has her closed. I watch her struggle with a few stray hairs that keep falling on her eyes.

"Thank you. I know."

"Oh. And yeah, modest, too. But I already knew that from earlier with the YouTube video."

This time I laugh loudly, "Stop hating, man. You're just jealous."

She scoffs and throws an arm over her forehead, blocking the light from her eyes. "I'm so jealous." She smirks. She and I hear her phone vibrate somewhere in the room. I know it's not mine because otherwise I would've felt it vibrate near my foot. She gets up as slow and deliberate as she can before finding it on top of my bed. "It's not a call. It's just my alarm going off so I can go study."

"Nobody studies anymore, Quinn." I say as a joke and we giggle. Then I ask her, "are you sure you have to go?" I hate to see her grab her coat and put her arms inside the sleeves. I stand next to my bed, which is parallel to the desks where she's standing.

She brushes hair away from her face and speaks, "I'm afraid I do. I have a study group tonight and tomorrow for an Economics test on Thursday." She explains and bends over to start cleaning up.

I rush to help her and try to talk her out of it but she won't have any of it. "Quinn. It's okay; just leave that there and I'll get to it later."

"Rachel," she says and my eyes snap up to hers, "This will give me an excuse to stay a little longer, okay? So… let me." She sounds just a little bit worried that I might say 'no,' but there is no way in hell that I'd ever make her leave when all I want is for her to stay.

"Okay," I concede without any trouble. We clean up in silence, mostly stealing glances from each other while we pick up the beer cans, gather the boxes of Chinese, and organize the cards again. It feels like she's going deliberately slow, to take more time. I don't mind and I match her pace. When the only evidence of Chinese is the faint smell, she makes her way to the door.

"I had fun," she's holding the knob but not making a move to open it. "Thank you for letting me hang out here with you."

"You don't have to thank me. You can hang out here whenever you feel like." I step up to stand closer, with my hands carefully holding each other behind my back. "I'm glad you called."

"Me too." There is comfortable silence and then she opens the door. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

I confirm her hopes (and mine as well) with a nod and she steps out of the room. We both linger there on the threshold, her halfway in and halfway out. "Text me later," I tell her.

"I will," she says and then I feel her warm, soft, glorious lips on my left cheek. A tingle is born on the spot her lips made contact with my face just two seconds ago and travels everywhere else in my body. I look down quickly then up at her and she smiles softly. She takes two steps back, almost as if she doesn't want to turn around. She does and I sigh because it's then that I notice Santana coming down the hallway, eyeing us suspiciously. She saw the peck on the cheek, I'm positive.

Quinn doesn't seem fazed by Santana this time around. She smiles at her and says, "Hey, Santana," as she passes her and then disappears down the hall.

I stand by the door frozen until Santana forcefully bumps into me so she can come into our room. "Ouch. Asshole," I grumble at her. She throws her bag near her chair and turns around, crossing her arms and staring me down.

"Did you fuck her?" She asks and it's her way of greeting me. She doesn't care how vulgar she sounds as she continues, "did you guys have a good fucking time licking and sucking and rubbing?" I should be used to her language but I think it bothers me because she's talking about Quinn and she's the first girl in a long time that I don't just want those things with (granted, I will admit, I do want them). "Are you over her now that you scored? Can we go back to normal?" She's no longer looking at me in the eyes. Hers are wandering around the room, avoiding me and trying to picture what was it that we were doing.

I take my time to close the door and turn around to look at her, "No, I did not." I say and make way further into our room. "I actually like her, Santana. Why are you so threatened by her?"

She sighs, dejected. "I worry for you, Rach." She never shortens my name; she hardly ever calls me 'Rachel.' "You usually get so invested when you do like someone and she has power. She can hurt you worse than Finn ever did." Her hand flies about in front of her. She gesticulates like no other when she talks.

Now understanding why she's worried my stance softens and we both look at each other in the eyes as we sit on our desk chairs. "San," I say and she doesn't even argue the use of the nickname, "you don't have to worry for me. Try to get to know her. I think there's a potential you guys could be great friends." I take a moment for her to let that sink in and then (cautiously) add, "You should tryout. Maybe not right now but for next semester."

It feels like the air in the room has been sucked into a vacuum away from me. Santana's eyes narrow, "what?"

"I think you should try out for –"

"You must be crazy, Berry! I mean, of course I knew you were crazy but now you are bordering on insane! You that out of your mind?" She starts rambling, her voice raising. I'm used to this by now. When Santana's afraid, her defensive mechanism kicks in and hers is to freak out. "Cheerleaders are bitches. Just because you like one cheerleader who happens to be nice to you, that doesn't make them less evil." Her thought process makes no sense but I don't stop her. She usually tires herself out with these things. She's like a puppy; all bark but no bite.

When I notice she's done yelling at me and is more like rambling at herself, I try again. "I know those bitches hurt you, Santana. But not every cheerleader is the same." She stops rambling but won't look up. "We're not in conservative Ohio anymore, in a homophobic high school, honey. People here are more open-minded and I know how much you loved cheerleading, plus you're really good at it! You're good at everything you do but that's beside the point. The point is that you'd be wasting your talent and limiting yourself of great experiences." She opens her mouth to argue but I keep talking, "Also, I know you won't try out here because you think we wouldn't be able to be friends and hang out like in high school," at this point I stand up and kneel in front of her. I place both hands on her knees and wait for her to make eye contact. She takes a while to do so, but she gives in and I take it as my cue to finish, "But I promise that won't happen, okay?"

She looks at me in silence and I realize for the first time she's been crying. Her eyes are red and there is a shimmer in her eyes that wasn't there before. She sniffs loudly and after a while says, "You sound so much like the Berry from then."

I snicker quietly, mostly to myself, and say, "I wasn't always that bad, right?"

"No," She's quick to respond, "You've always been great, no matter what."

The next morning I wake up feeling like shit. Mostly because I spent all night awake; I couldn't breathe, my head hurt, my body was all sore. I thought about Quinn and how she told me I was getting sick.

Santana was already gone by the time I managed to open my eyes and she had no idea I had been feeling sick the day before so it's not like I could've expected her to take care of me at all today.

Then I remembered I told Quinn I'd be at The Lounge today. I really tried to get up and force myself to go to class but for the love of all that is good, I couldn't. I skipped both of my classes in the morning and the dance lessons and just lied in bed.

Knowing I'd have to let her know I wouldn't be showing up, I call her. She picks up on the first ring, "Hello?"

"Hey, Quinn." I greet her. My throat hurts. I can hardly speak but I have to make an effort and pretend not to be as sick as I really am. "How are you?"

"I'm great, Rachel, thanks for asking. You don't sound too good though," She sounds concerned. "Are you terribly sick?"

"Yeah, I don't think I'll be able to come to The Lounge today. I have been in bed all morning; I even had to skip my morning classes and dance lesson."

She exhales loudly, "Gosh, I'm so sorry. Don't worry about coming to The Lounge. Worry about getting better, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll try."

"Also working on listening to me more often. That should keep you from getting sick in the future," she jokes and I laugh. I can practically see her biting her grin to try to keep it subdued.

"I'll also work on that." We say goodbye and I rest my hand on my eyes, trying to block the sunlight coming in from the window as much as I can.

I think I fall asleep because I am awakened by the sound of knocking on my door. "Coming." I manage to squeak out. The person keeps knocking and I assume they haven't heard me. I shuffle to my feet, walk across the room, groaning and whining in pain, and open the door.

"Hi," she says, with that smile of hers. She's holding a container of soup, and a bag from the Pharmacy near campus. "We're going to try to nurse you back to health." She says and I'm so thankful she's here because her presence alone could probably do that.


	4. Mr. Medicine (Eliza Doolittle)

It's about one in the afternoon when I'm done with Physical Anthropology class on Wednesdays. Most days after this class I go straight to The Lounge to hang out and grab something to eat since the food there is free. I'm making my way across the school's quad when my phone rings. I have to shift all the contents in my right hand to my left arm so I can reach into my coat's pocket and pull out my phone.

I pick up as soon as I realize it's Rachel, "Hello?" I smile because I can't help the feeling that overcomes me when I realize she's calling for the first time.

"Hey, Quinn. How are you?" I notice her voice sounds hoarse. She's either spent the night yelling or she can't speak because she got sick. I know it's the latter.

I respond, "I'm great, Rachel, thanks for asking. You don't sound too good though." I take a left when I'm supposed to take a right and start making my way to the pharmacy. It's only a couple of blocks from here. "Are you terribly sick?"

She explains, "Yeah, I don't think I'll be able to come to The Lounge today. I have been in bed all morning; I even had to skip my morning classes and dance lesson." I don't care at all about The Lounge at the moment if she's sick. I cross the street, avoiding the cabs and cars, hoping no one collides into me. It's a foggy day in New York city today and I hope they can see me crossing the street.

I exhale as I make way into the pharmacy and the heater in there hits my face, "Gosh, I'm so sorry. Don't worry about coming to The Lounge. Worry about getting better, okay?" I rush to the back of the pharmacy where they usually have the cold/flu medicine and scan them, looking for one I think works for Rachel.

"Yeah, I'll try."

"Also, work on listening to me more often." I joke, picking up an aspirin that promises to cure everything under the sun. Its box actually has a sun with a happy face on it. I smile at the cheesiness of it and think Rachel will appreciate it. "That should keep you from getting sick in the future." I'm grinning at the box and at the mental picture I have of Rachel smiling. Her smile is gorgeous. I keep moving, finding the aisle with teas.

I consider my options and hear her say, "I'll also work on that."

She says goodbye while I'm still deciding which tea would be the best for her cold. I go with my instinct and pick up the ginger and garlic tea. It sounds a little bit disgusting – not going to lie (I might be biased; I hate any tea) – but it sounds powerful and like it'd do its job. On my way to the cashier, I pick up a pack of honey cough drops. I'm holding all of these items on my right arm, actually using my stomach to support them and my chin and left arm to hold onto my papers and books. Does it look like I'm trying hard? I guess one could argue that, but I also know that girls like Rachel doesn't like being sick or alone when they're sick. Also, it gives me a reason to spend more time with her.

The cashier – the nametag says her name is Grace – smiles at me as she starts ringing up everything. Then I remember I should also buy orange juice and water! If I remember correctly, Rachel's mini-fridge was stocked with bee and some energy drinks and flavored water. "I'll be right back," I tell Grace and she nods and keeps ringing my items.

I rush down to the coolers at the far right of the pharmacy and find a bottle of orange juice and an even bigger bottle of water. I run back to the cashier because I now notice there's a lady standing waiting for me to come back. "Sorry," I mumble at both her and Grace and place the bottles on top of the counter. Grace rings both and bags them.

"That'll be $22.30, please." I reach for my wallet inside my bag, hanging from my left shoulder and manage to pull out my credit card. "Thank you," she says and swipes it. She waits for the machine to say 'Approved' and hands me back my card with the receipt. "Here you go."

"Thank you." I throw everything in my bag, not paying attention if it even makes inside and grab the plastic bag stamped with 'Greenworks' Pharmacy' on it.

My next destination is the small bistro one street over. They're famous for their delicious soups. Even though The Lounge's deli serves soups every day, they do not compare in any way, shape, or form to the soups of this bistro.

Louise's Bistro is packed when I come in. There's a line forming at the cashier. You order at the front and pay at the same time, so I know I have to grab my card already. It takes me a while to manage this seemingly small task but if I had put my card back in its place while at the pharmacy it would've been faster.

The man in front of me orders five different items from the menu. I twist my lips at the thought of eating a combination of all the things he asked for until I see a red-head lady walk up to him with a smile. It looks like she's coming back from the bathroom and that makes me less anxious about him eating all of that food.

Finally, it's my turn. It feels like it's been forever; it took ten minutes. "Hi," the cashier says – Molly, I notice has beautiful green eyes and dark hair. "What can I get you?" She asks and I hand her the card without even glancing up at the menu.

"I'll have a medium cup of your Chicken Noodle Soup, please."

She takes the card from me and swipes it, "It's a soup day, huh?"

I smile, "It's for my friend. She's feeling a little bit under the weather." I cringe at these small talks.

She hands me back the credit card with the receipt just as the cashier from the pharmacy had done and then hands me a plastic number: 15. I have to wait so I thank her and sit on a wood bench by the front windows. I watch people pass by for about five minutes until a guy in his late twenty's calls my number. I hand him the plastic and he hands me the container of soup.

With my hands completely full of stuff, I make my way back to campus. I would've preferred to go straight to Rachel's, but I feel the need to stop by my room to drop off my books and papers and bag. I'm taking a shortcut through the cafeteria when I realize it's a bad idea. I see Sam and before I have the chance to pretend I hadn't seen him, he sees me. He waves frantically from where he's standing in line and I stop, waiting for him to make his way over. I try to send him a message through my eyes that I don't have the time nor the will to stand here and talk but he doesn't get it.

"Hey," He says and throws his bangs to the side with a jerk of the head. "What are you up to?" He eyes my hands with a curious look.

Trying to gather as many items as possible in my arms without dropping them, I think to tell him, but poor guy – he's trying to be friendly. Really, I just want to get out of here and make it to Rachel's. "I went and got some things for a friend. She feels sick."

"Oh, that's so cool. You're a nice friend." He says with a genuine tone of voice and a half-smile. "I'm eating here today because the food they're serving at The Lounge today is some vegetarian stuff. Sylvester claims that no one deserves meat today."

I could care less about what they have or what they don't have at The Lounge. I try not to sound as exasperated as I feel when I speak, "That's great, Sam. Look, I really should go –" I raise my hands to show him the bags and soup I'm holding. I'm in a hurry so I don't even wait for him to realize what's happening before I say 'bye' and keep walking.

When I make it up the three flights of stairs to my floor I practically run to my dorm. On a normal day I would've waited for the elevator but it's not a normal day. I kick the door and hope my roommate didn't decide to actually do something this afternoon. I don't want to have to put everything down to look for my card to open the door. She opens the door with a confused look and I push my way inside. "Sorry. My hands are full." She grumbles something and goes back to bed, lying down with her stomach up and hands crossed over her abs.

My roommate and I aren't very close. To be honest, I have no idea what she's even studying. She's a new roommate this semester because I used to room alone and the school needed rooms for incoming students. They put her in my room without even letting me know. Her name is Mary. I think she's from Wisconsin.

I drop all my things on top of my desk and grab my copy of Singing in the Rain, a mug which reads 'I (heart) NY, and a spoon. I throw them inside the bag from the pharmacy and make my way out of the room, trying (but failing) to shut the door without it slamming.

Rachel's dorm room is actually close to mine, so I walk there in less than five minutes. I might be walking fast but that doesn't matter. I walk up to the first floor and find her room without any trouble. I need to breathe a little to calm down my racing heart. I hadn't realized how nervous I was until I stopped moving. I stare at her door and read the little white board on it, "Berry & Santana – ONLY KNOCK IF IT'S IMPORTANT." I bet what was Santana.

Finally, I knock. It's not hard at first but after a few minutes of silence, I realize Rachel probably fell back asleep. I giggle and knock harder trying to wake her. I know I was successful when I hear a faint "coming," from inside the room but I keep knocking anyway.

The knob turns and she opens the door.

"Hi," I say with a smile. When she realizes what's happening, she smiles back at me and looks at my hands with the soup and the pharmacy bag. "We're going to try to nurse you back to health," I say raising my arms slightly.

She looks horrible. I don't mean that as if I'm calling her ugly, but just by her appearance I can tell she's really sick. Her bangs are sticking to her forehead and her eyes have dark circles underneath them. Her nose is really red, and so are her eyes. She's sniffling constantly. "Quinn." She says with a dazed look up at me. I've never seen Rachel Berry look so vulnerable.

"Hey," I greet her again and raise an eyebrow, "So? Can I come in?"

She seems startled by the question. "Oh, I'm so rude! Sorry. Come in." She holds the door open and sneezes when I'm in front of her desk. "I don't want to get you sick, Quinn." She stands with her shoulders slumped.

"My immune system is ridiculous, Rachel." I assure her and settle the bag of medicine on top of the mahogany desk. "Here, you need to eat something. I bet you haven't eaten anything all day." I gesture for her to sit on the chair. She obeys, looking at me with pure surprise in her eyes.

"This is all very thoughtful of you, Quinn, but you really didn't have to."

"Stop being polite, Berry." I say, remembering the board outside the door.

She smiles again but this time it is bashful and coy, "Thank you." She reaches for the soup and opens the lid. It's still warm but not as hot as it was when I bought it. "This smells delicious and I am famished." She admits and takes the spoon I'm holding in her hand.

"No problem." I settle on Santana's chair, which is a little wobbly but I ignore it. I cross my legs and rest my cheek on my hand, using my knee as support for my elbow. "How did you sleep tonight?"

She sips on the spoon and the soup hitting her lips makes sounds that a child usually accomplishes while eating. She looks amused at this so I just shake my head and giggle quietly to myself. She responds, "I didn't." She looks at me with a self-deprecatory face and keeps talking, "I couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep in."

"I'm sorry." I honestly tell her. Even though my immune system is amazing, I hate it when I can't sleep while I'm sick because my muscles and bones feel like they won't get comfortable in any position.

"It's fine." She says, scooping up more soup. "If it means you'll be here the next day with amazing soup and… whatever that is –" she uses her chin to point at the pharmacy bag, "then I'll happily trade in the sleep for it."

My lips form into a smile at what she says, "That won't be necessary. I'll be here as many times as you want me to and I don't want you to be sick for it."

"This is really great. Thank you. Really." She says again.

"No problem, again. Really." I reinforce. I watch her eat for another five minutes and then I realize I must be freaking her out so I find something to do. "I brought you tea. I'm going to run down to the kitchenette and heat up some water for you, okay?"

She nods and keeps eating her soup, "that's sweet of you." She lacks the constant energy I've come to witness as part of her personality. She closes her eyes slowly and then opens them again. "You should leave the door ajar; I don't think I can get up again."

I put a hand on her shoulder and feel how hot she is, "Holy shit, Rachel. You're burning!" I tell her and this time I check her forehead, then her neck, then her cheek.

She shrugs.

"Damn. Okay, finish your soup. Then you're going to take a lukewarm shower and lay back down. I'll make the tea when you're sleeping again."

"Okay." I can see she's struggling to keep feeding herself so I prop myself up on the desk and gently pry away the spoon from her hand. "What are you –" She asks. I take the soup container from her hand next and raise an eyebrow at her.

"Open wide, Rachel." My voice is playful but still assertive.

She clamps it shut instead of opening it, "No. I won't let you feed me." She says through closed lips. I'm starting to realize Rachel is really stubborn. "Just give me the soup back," she pleads but she's so weak her arms drop back down by her sides even before they're halfway up toward me.

I give her a look that asks, 'are you done yet?' and she just barely nods, giving up. "Good." I say out loud, "now, open wide." I laugh when she complies with a miserable frown.

"This won't be too bad," I reassure her, "your soup's almost finished anyway."

She doesn't say anything, just keeps chewing on the chicken. When she swallows she opens her mouth again. I can tell she's not really upset, maybe a little embarrassed but not upset.

"Don't be embarrassed, Rachel. We all get sick and it's okay to need help."

She nods even though I know she wasn't really agreeing.

"Last one," I warn her. She licks her lips twice then three times when she's done. "Are you thirsty? Do you want some water or orange juice?" I ask.

"Yes, please. Water would be great." She coughs into her hand, and apologizes when she takes the water bottle from me. I already opened the lid.

"Don't apologize anymore, okay?" I ask her, squatting to look in her eyes.

She nods again, "okay."

Satisfied with her response I walk to her bathroom and turn on the shower. I look around and see that there is a towel already in here. "Is this your towel?" I ask her and she hums in response. "Alright, just let the water warm up a bit and then you can shower. I'll be right out here in case you need anything." I want to make sure that she doesn't accidentally slip or faints while in the shower. "Oh, do not, Rachel," I say as emphatically as I can, "do not wash your hair." She nods. She'll need clothes, "Rachel, I know you'll probably be cold but you can't wear a lot of clothing when you're out of the shower. Where can I find you some shorts and a t-shirt?" I know I'm going to have to go through some of her things and I hope I'm not overstepping but she doesn't seem to care.

"Shirts," she points to the second drawer of her dresser, "and shorts," she points to the third. "And undies." She points to the last. She goes into the bathroom, closing the door, and I hear the toilet's lid hitting the back.

Undies. The realization dawns upon me and I stand there for a bit trying to figure out how I'm going to go through her underwear drawer. I mean, this is a free pass into her personal intimates. I feel a little bit perverted for smiling slightly but then I hear Rachel flush so I shake the thought away and proceed to walk toward the dresser. I walk as slow as I can and open the t-shirt drawer even slower. I'm trying to draw out the process.

T-shirts. T-shirts. T-shirts. T-shirts. I find a soft cotton, white V-neck and pull that out trying not to disorganize her shirts. Then I move on to shorts.

Shorts. Shorts. Shorts. Shorts. There's a light blue short that looks like it'll do. I grab that one. I hold both clothing items in my right hand tightly, mapping out my next move. Do I just open the drawer, stick a hand in and pull something out? Do I carefully select the most appropriate panties for a feverish person? Is there such thing?

The water turns off. I snap into action. I open the drawer, don't even think to look at any other panties when my eyes zero in pink boy shorts. I pull those out just in time for Rachel to come out of the bathroom.

"I couldn't stand any longer," she announces, holding the towel around her body. My cheeks flush and I consider if it's possible I caught her fever. Her hair is up on a bun, but besides the hair, every inch of her body is wet. I lick my lips at the sight. She's beautiful even when sick. My eyes trail up and down her towel-clad body. It's only when my eyes land on hers – still somewhat dazed from being sick but definitely understanding what I was doing – that I clear my throat and try not to think about the water droplets on her collarbone, or on the little bit of hair at the back of her neck.

"Here," I hand her the clothes I found her, "I hope these will work."

She hums in appreciation at my choices and walks closer to her bed, placing them on top. Somehow it had escaped me that she'd need to change. I wasn't expecting her to do so in the bathroom because this is her room and the bathroom is a little cramped (though we're lucky our dorms include en-suite bathrooms and not community ones). She turns away from me and drops her towel to her waist and wraps it securely there. I gulp. Her back is... for lack of a better word (okay, there might be a better word) delicious. It looks soft and it's tan and I can see her muscles flex as she moves.

"If you want to – um, I – I can totally step out while you change." I manage to say, but I'm still eyeing the way her aqua towel is hugging her ass tightly.

She turns her head just enough for her to look me in the eyes but doesn't turn fully around (thankfully!), "Nonsense, Quinn." She puts the shirt on first. No bra. I should've thought this through. How am I going to be able to keep my head sane when I'm nursing Rachel Berry back to health while she's not wearing a bra?

Next, she slips on her panties under the towel and a little bit of it drags up in the back along with her hand. I turn away and look out her window. Very nice view of… white fog. When I take a chance to glance at her again, she's already pulling up her shorts and the towel is on the floor. I breathe. My lungs welcome the air. My brain starts functioning again.

"Comfy?" I ask when I find my voice." She leaves the towel on the floor and climbs into bed, wrapping herself up under the blanket.

"Thank you so much." Is her way of saying that yes, she is. When it seems like she can't take it anymore, her eyes close automatically but that doesn't stop her from talking, "you'll be here, right?" She asks, "when I wake up?" I guess I was right about Rachel not wanting to be alone while she was sick.

I laugh to myself, "yes, I will. I'll just run down to boil the water for your tea, okay? I'll probably be the one waking you up." I let her know but I'm under the impression she fell asleep before I told her I'd be gone to make her tea.

As silently as I can, I fetch the box of tea and grab a pot on top of Santana's desk I saw when I came in. I hope she doesn't mind. Maybe she'll mind it that it was me but when she finds out I took it for Rachel she won't care. Before leaving I grab Rachel's towel from the floor and put it inside the basket of dirty laundry by the door.

I walk out of her room. I don't close the door completely so I don't have to bang on the door to get her to wake up and get up and come open it for me. I'm still thinking of her eating the soup and coming out of the shower and snuggling under the covers as I wait for the water to boil. When it's boiling, I remove the pot from the burner and carefully pour the water into the mug with the little bag of tea. I throw the remaining water down the sink and make my way back upstairs, vigilant not to touch myself or anybody on the way with the hot pot and not to spill the hot tea.

I push the door open with my toe. I'm not surprised to find Rachel just as I left her. Her hands are curled under her chin, the blanket snuggled as close as possible to her body. I place the pot on top of Santana's desk and the mug on Rachel's. I straddle her chair like I had done the day before and wait for the tea to cool down some more. In the meantime I play Temple Run on my iPhone.

I feel the mug after five minutes and it feels lukewarm so I get up and make my way to the bed with mug in hand. I try to coax her out of sleep with a simple caress up and down her arm but it doesn't work. "Rachel," I say as softly as I can, and still run a hand up and down her arm.

"Quinn?" She questions.

"Yeah. Here, drink some of this. It'll make you feel better."

Rachel manages to sit up on her elbows but literally groans at the movement. I hate to see her like this. "Wait," I tell her and she looks up at me with a pained expression. I move so I'm able to sit with my back on her headboard and then pull her up and wrap her up in my arms. It's an intimate move but I don't care. She didn't look comfortable so I'm trying my best to make her feel better. Her head falls comfortable on top of my chest and I wrap my right arm around her back. Her knees are pulled up close to her body and I can feel her shivering. The fever still hasn't broken. "I think if we remove the covers, it'll help the fever go away." She whines at the thought, "I know," I tell her, "but I'll keep you warm." I am very aware of what she's wearing.

I feel her head nod against my body and I can feel her breath irregularly hitting the bottom of my throat. "Tea." She croaks. I hand her the tea and she grabs it with both hands. She blows the liquid and then starts drinking it. She manages to drink a good amount of it before handing me back the mug. "So good."

I hear the door knob give before the door opens. Until this point I've kept the lights in the room off so the light wouldn't hurt Rachel's eyes (except for when I was finding her clothes) but as soon as Santana is inside the lights are on.

Rachel whines and places a hand on her eyes. I don't move. Santana and I stare at each other. "She was feeling really sick so I came over and brought some stuff."

She doesn't say anything just nods in understanding and turns the lights off again.

"Thanks," Rachel whispers.

"No problem, Berry." Santana says. She looks hesitant for a second but eventually decides to come closer to the bed. "Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well, Rach?" I'm surprised by the nickname but Santana doesn't seem to notice and if she does, she doesn't seem to care.

"Didn't want to bother you, San," Rachel almost sounds like she's twelve again. Her eyes are still behind her hand. Santana grabs them and moves it away from Rachel's face. She opens her eyes reluctantly.

"I don't care. Next time you let me know, okay?" Her voice is soft and caring and I know she means it out of a place of love and friendship and not the need to compete with me. "I'm sure Quinn has been great to you today but you shouldn't ever have to worry about bothering me, Rachel." Santana moves some stray hair away from Rachel's face and tucks it in behind her ear.

"Love you, San."

"Love you too, Berry." Santana stands up without another word and looks at me with grateful eyes. She reaches for the mug of tea in my hand and I understand what she's saying without having to speak as well. I hand the mug to her and she nods curtly before turning around and walking to her desk. She places the mug on top of the desk, grabs some books, and leaves again.

"She didn't say anything to you." Rachel points out with a sad tone.

"No, she didn't." I agree, "but she did thank me."

I wake up first and feel the weight of Rachel on me. I smile at the thought of having slept with her in my arms even though my lower back and my neck hurts from the uncomfortable position. I feel her forehead and it seems like the fever has broken. Good news. She stirs a bit and I feel her arm squeeze tighter around my waist. I try to move my hand to reach for my pocket in my coat but can't. It's hot as hell now. I snicker as softly as I can.

The feel of my belly shaking up and down is enough to wake Rachel up this time. I can actually tell she's smiling without even looking at her. "Hi," she says and I can tell she's a lot better.

"Hey, you." I say and look down into her eyes. "You feeling better?"

"Much." She admits. "My head still hurts a bit and my throat is still sore but I'll be okay."

I smile, "good. I have an aspirin for your headache and cough drops for your throat."

She unwraps herself slowly and falls back on the bed. "I'm so sorry I was crowding your space – all over you like that."

I get up and take off my coat that I fell asleep in. I throw it over the back of her chair and fish the box of medicine and orange juice out of the bag. "Take two of those." She cups her hand and I shake two out. She swallows them easily with the orange juice and drinks more of the juice.

"That's good. You need lots of liquid." I pull out the cough drops next and the movie. "Movie time?" I ask her, hopeful.

"I can't believe you, Quinn! You've been amazing, really."

I simply shrug. It's not a big deal if it's for her. I actually enjoyed taking care of her. She settles the bottle on the floor near her bed and moves to her side, propping her head on the back of her hand. "We'll use your laptop, okay?" I ask.

"Sure. Bring it here, please." She says. I pick it up and go back to the bed, remembering again what she's wearing. This time I sit Indian-style next to her and she sits up against the flimsy headboard of the bunkbead. I put the DVD in and we wait for the laptop to load it. "So," she starts and I have a feeling this will be about Santana. "I don't remember much of what happened earlier but I think Santana was in here?"

"Yes."

"Was she nice to you?" She asks tentatively and I'm warmed at the way she's so considerate of me.

"She wasn't not nice." I say.

She tilts her head slightly, "What does that mean? Just tell me if she was a bitch because if she was I'll have to speak to her again about this and –" before she can get any further I have to interrupt.

"Maybe that didn't come off as I intended. She didn't say much but she thanked me with a look."

Rachel's head is down and she sighs, relieved. "Yes, that sounds like Santana."

"Yes. She also told you to let her know when you're sick next time. And she even admitted that I probably took good care of you."

"She's a good friend to me, Quinn." Rachel lets me know and I don't doubt this one second. Yes, sometimes Santana can come off as rude and abrasive but I understand that she uses those things as protection.

"I know." I smile. She smiles back and the menu of the movie starts up. I press play and we start watching.

Not even halfway into the movie, Rachel's coughing again. I get up and grab her two of the cough drops. She thanks me and I tell her to stop thanking me. I check the time; it's almost six in the afternoon. We had slept for hours. I go back to bed and settle where I was, and as soon as I'm sitting, her head is on my shoulder. I let my head drop on top of hers.

"I love Singing in the Rain." She says not even above a whisper. We're so close there's no need for more than that. I nod and feel her hand travel down my arm, her fingers teasing my skin. "You promise you won't get sick, right?" The film is playing and I register some music but I'm not paying attention anymore. The way she moves her hand is shooting fire into my bloodstream.

"I promise. Insane immune system, remember?"

"Okay." She seems satisfied with this and stops talking to watch the movie. I'm mesmerized by all that she is. I can't wait to get to know her more.

Sadly the movie eventually ends. I realize she fell asleep again. I have to go soon though because I still have that Economics test to study for tomorrow. I manage to get up and I take the laptop from her bed to her desk. I do everything as quiet as I can and put on my coat again. She tosses and turns at the lack of warmth and opens her eyes, "You're leaving?"

"I don't want to," I make sure she knows that, "But I have to. I have that test to study for and I left all of my stuff in my room." I come closer to her bed again and sit. "You'll feel 100% better by tomorrow, I guarantee it, but you have to keep drinking liquids, and take the aspirins, and get some sleep." She moves the blanket to get up but I shove her lightly so she doesn't. "Don't. I can see myself out." I smile.

"I can't thank you enough. You're a life savior, like, literally." She says.

For the first time that day I say, "You're welcome, Rachel." I get up and make my way in the dark room to the door. "I'll text you later, okay?"

"Please, do." She says. "Bye, Quinn."

I make it to the library for the last half of the study group. I missed some stuff but I'm not too worried about it; I can look over those notes by myself. I say goodbye to the other people of the group and make my way to my favorite spot in the library. It's a chair on a secluded corner of the library. Not many people go that way to study so I take advantage of that.

For a second I get distracted by a magazine on Cheerleading on the Periodicals section of the library. "I used to subscribe to that." I hear someone say. I turn around and am face to face with Santana.

I raise an eyebrow at her, skeptical of her sudden appearance, but nod in understanding. "It's the best there is. Most serious cheerleaders do."

"Well, yeah. I don't anymore." She says and sits on a chair off to the side.

I take that as an invitation to follow her and sit next to her, clutching my books near my chest, just in case she decides to attack or something. I don't know how that'll help; I guess it'd keep my boobs safe.

"Why don't you?"

"I don't cheer anymore. No point in torturing myself, right?" She asks and a dry chuckle leaves her lips. From what Rachel tells me (and what I gathered so far – apart from the psychopath vibes) Santana is so beautiful and it's a little saddening how she doesn't like to show others that she cares about things.

I weigh my words before speaking, "I don't know exactly what happened but Rachel mentioned hating cheerleaders because of something they did to you." She shakes her head at this, mumbling something about 'killing Rachel' – which I doubt she'll go through with it – and closes a fist. "Well, if it means anything, I wouldn't let our girls hurt you. They wouldn't anywat. Not because of… sexuality at least, if that's the issue. Maybe more banal things like which nail polish you wore that day or if you hook up with a guy one of them likes at a party but not because you might be into girls."

"How do you know?" She glances around carefully to make sure no one around us is paying attention.

"I've asked around about you." I admit. "I…" I sigh, "I kind of like your roommate and best friend. I know how protective you are of her. I wanted to know more about you."

She stays quiet for a second, with a hand stuck in her hair, "have you told Rachel you like her, yet?"

"No," I say quickly. "I haven't because I don't know if –"

She laughs and it cuts me off. The librarian nearby shushes us. She mutters 'sorry' but continues laughing, "How can you not know? She's like, been obsessed with you from the moment she saw you. You must be blind not to notice it."

I mash my lips together and look up to the left, not really looking at anything, thinking about it. "Well you might be right."

"Oh, for goodness' sakes! She does, okay? Just take my damn word for it if you can't see it."

I start at her harsh whispering, "Sorry!" I say, and then I smile because holy damn, Rachel Berry likes me. I bite my lip and I must have some sort of look in my eyes that give away my thoughts at the moment because Santana snickers.

"Wow. Well, I guess my duty as best friend is to let you know that I will ends you if you ever hurt her, Fabray." Her eyes narrow at me but I don't falter. I'm dead serious about my liking Rachel and that threat doesn't scare me because I don't plan on hurting her.

"I believe this is where I say 'thanks' for giving me a chance."

"Don't thank me, just don't do shit." She says and gets up. She picks up the magazine I was staring at and starts flipping through the pages, "Did you study for that test tomorrow yet?"

I gesture 'so-so.' "I studied yesterday with some people from our class and I managed to catch the ending of tonight's session but I missed some because I was with Rachel."

She puts the magazine back on its spot and grabs her backpack. "Come on. We can go over it." I follow after her when she takes off in the directions of the study rooms.

Now that I have Santana's blessing, I can hang out with Rachel without worrying about my safety. If her best friend says that she likes me then I take her word for it, especially Santana which is someone who everyone can see is very honest, though sometimes she lacks tact.

She barges into a room and we settle in chairs facing each other. "Alright, so what is it that you missed?"


	5. If You're Wondering If I Want You To, I Want You To (Weezer ft. Sara Bareilles)

I feel Quinn laughing before I fully realize I'm awake. I'm in that state halfway between asleep and awake for a few minutes before I have the energy to make any movements. The first response my body manages is a smile at waking up embraced by Quinn. "Hi," I say. My voice sounds a lot better than how it sounded earlier today, even though my throat is still bothering me.

She looks down at me with caring concern imprinted in her eyes, "Hey, you. You feeling better?"

"Much. My head still hurts a bit and my throat is still sore but I'll be okay."

She smiles and even though the lights are off it feels like the sun has burst into my room. "Good. I have an aspirin for your headache and cough drops for your throat." She's been very thoughtful all day long. I wonder how much money and time she invested in me today. I feel slightly guilty about that then my brain registers that I've been wrapped up in her. I'm literally laying half of my body on top of her, and my head has been on her chest this entire time.

I pull myself away – as hard as it is – and fall back on the bed. It takes me in and I feel the mattress shift to accommodate my body. "I'm so sorry I was crowding your space – all over you like that." I can't even look at her in the eyes when I say that. I didn't mean to be extremely clingy just because I was sick but I hate being sick and I hate being alone when I am.

She doesn't rush but she does get up and takes off her coat. She must have not had time to take it off when she got here and probably forgot until now. I bet she's burning up. "Take two of those." She says while shaking two of the aspirins she brought into my hand. I throw them down my throat and wash them with the orange juice. I didn't realize how thirsty I was so I end up drinking more than half of the juice.

"That's good. You need lots of liquid. Movie time?" She shows me the DVD and I smile. She's also holding the bag of cough drops and I yearn for one but don't say anything at the moment. I don't want to suck on one right after I had orange juice because it'd probably taste awful.

"I can't believe you, Quinn! You've been amazing, really." I say because it's true. She's done more than I'd ever ask of her. Even though I hate being alone when I'm sick, I hate even more depending on people and asking for help. I'm all for giving unwanted advice and help though, but not receiving it.

"We'll use your laptop, okay?" She doesn't linger on the compliment. She seems to be doing this because she wants to not because she wants to keep hearing me tell her how great she is, though I will keep doing so for as long as I can.

"Sure. Bring it here." We're both sitting with our backs to the headboard, our legs crossed, but our knees are touching. I realize how exposed I look but I don't mind it because I trust her. When she comes to bed, I think it's the best time to bring up the moment when Santana came in the room. At first when I woke up, I thought it had been a dream but after thinking about it again, I am almost 100% convinced it wasn't. "So, I don't remember much of what happened earlier but I think Santana was in here?"

"Yes."

I tentatively ask, "Was she nice to you?"

Her response is cryptic, "She wasn't not nice."

"What does that mean? Just tell me if she was a bitch because if she was I'll have to speak to her again about this and –" I have so many thoughts racing through my mind at the moment. Santana better not have said anything to Quinn that would've offended her.

"Maybe that didn't come off as I intended." She interrupts me, "She didn't say much but she thanked me with a look."

This sounds like an accurate description of how Santana would've been about things, so I look down relieved and say, "Yes, that sounds like Santana."

"Yes. She also told you to let her know when you're sick next time. And she even admitted that I probably took good care of you."

I hope that Quinn also doesn't think badly about Santana. She's just complex and sometimes over-aggressive but, "She's a good friend to me, Quinn.

"I know." We smile at each other and play the movie.

I have a coughing fit sometime during the movie and Quinn gets up to grab me those cough drops. I realize she checks the time but I try to not let it get to me. I don't want to have to think about her leaving already. I know we technically spent most of the day together but I was so sick I hardly registered it at all. Before I know it, my head is on her shoulder when she sits back down. I freak out for a moment on the inside because I don't know how she'll react. I mean, sure she was the one that cuddled me when I was trying to drink the tea but that was necessary. This is just me trying to keep her close until she has to leave. "I love Singing in the Rain." I whisper and my hand starts running up and down the inside of her arm, from her wrist to her elbow. And then another worry hits me, "You promise you won't get sick, right?" I love the feel of her skin under my fingertips. She's so soft, so alluring.

"I promise. Insane immune system, remember?" She says. I remember her telling me about this yesterday while we walked to my dorm.

I try to go back and pay attention to the movie but the entire time I'm thinking about this blonde girl sharing my bed with me and watching one of my favorite movies of all time (which she owns) because I'm sick and she cares. She cares.

"You're leaving?" I ask her when I wake up. I must've fallen asleep again throughout the movie. My eyes feel heavy again and I'm getting cold. The lack of another warm body really makes a difference.

"I don't want to but I have to." I'm glad she admits to not wanting to leave. I don't want to be the only one feeling like wanting to hang out all the time. "I have that test to study for and I left all of my stuff in my room. You'll feel 100% better by tomorrow, I guarantee it, but you have to keep drinking liquids, and take the aspirins, and get some sleep." She's sitting down next to me. When she's done speaking, I try to get up to walk her to the door but she won't let me. She says with a smile, "Don't. I can see myself out."

"I can't thank you enough. You're a life savior, like, literally."

"You're welcome, Rachel. I'll text you later, okay?" I see her silhouette against the brightness of the hallway outside. I can make out some of her features, like how wild her hair looks, and I can feel her gaze intent on me.

"Please, do." I say, and then, "Bye, Quinn."

I wake up to Santana shaking my arm as gentle as she knows how to, which is not at all. I pry my eyes open and she's looking down at me, with an impatient look on her face. "About time you wake up." She says and gets up from my bed, making her way to her dresser. She's only wearing panties and a bra; her panties could be better classified as black thongs which really show off her ass nicely, and her bra is a navy lacy one I got her for her birthday last year.

"Fuck off," I tell her and manage to sit up. When I look at her again she's smiling. I smile back. "Good morning to you," I say and stretch my back. It pops and then I finally roll myself out of bed. I literally roll though. I fall on the floor and start cracking up. Santana shakes her head at me but still has a subtle smile in place. She puts on a gray V-neck long sleeve shirt and jeans.

"I see you're feeling better," She states and I agree. "You better make sure you're bundled up. I already found you some clothes and you will wear this today, Berry."

I try to get a rise out of her, "You're not my mother, San." She ignores this with a huff and finds a black slim-fit jacket. "Whatever," I grumble and look at the outfit she picked. I'm at least thankful she's not making me wear a burka that'd cover up my entire body, from head to toe, though I'm not sure how warm it is. She found me a pair of dark jeans, a blue long-sleeve shirt, my black boots, a gray coat and a matching set of scarf/gloves/beanie. "Are you fucking kidding me? Really? All of this?"

"Yes! It's cold outside." She says as she tucks her own scarf around her neck and into her jacket. "Now, if I hear you aren't wearing any of it, I'll personally find you and kill you, since you'd be dying soon anyway."

"Santana, I appreciate you are trying to keep an eye on me but I'll be fine without the hat."

"No. And please, don't exert yourself in dance class today," She lets me know as she ties her shoes. She's wearing black converse.

"I won't."

"Don't be stupid," are her parting words. She's out of the door before I have a chance to even claim I'm never stupid but then I think about Tuesday and how I thought it'd be okay to walk to my dorm with wet hair and no coat.

"I'm never stupid," I say anyway, to myself, just so I don't feel any more stupid than I already do. I drag my feet to my desk where my phone has been charging and realize I already have three texts waiting for me. I unlock the screen and open the app.

I smile at the first one.

Quinn: I hope you're feeling better. Make sure to bundle up!

Rachel: I feel much better all thanks to you. ;)

It's as if she and Santana have been communicating or something. Speaking of Santana, she barely left but I already have bossy message from her.

Santana: keep your head and throat covered up all day, midge.

I freaking hate it when she calls me that. It's a shortened way of saying 'midget' and she claims it's because I'm still too short to even be considered that. I reply.

Rachel: Mom.

She replies back instantly, and I assume she's replying on her way to class.

Santana: if I were your mom you would know not to walk around in the cold with wet hair.

I ignore her text and stab at my upbringing and check the last text from Kurt.

Kurt: I heard from Santana you were sick all day yesterday! Lunch on me today?

Rachel: count on it. I'll call you.

I set my phone down before I get any replies from Kurt and go to the bathroom. My towel is not in there and it is not on any surface of my room. I check the dirty laundry basket and faintly recall just leaving it on the floor after I showered yesterday. Quinn must've put it in there. I grab another one from the bottom drawer of my dresser and go into the bathroom.

My shower is quick and warm and it relaxes my muscles. It feels amazing to stand under the water jets but I have to get ready and go to class. My dance instructor let me take it easy today because most days I push myself like no other. I still participated, just not as intensely as usual. I didn't have to take a shower after dance today because I didn't sweat as much so I had time to sit and chill for a little bit. I thought about going to The Lounge and see if I ran into Quinn like the first day we met but just thinking about going across campus made my body ache. My history class is so close to the dance building that I had to pass up on that idea.

As soon as my history class was done (we had a pop quiz today, which I'm sure I bombed), I went to my acting class and spoke to my professor about missing class yesterday. He was cool about it. He said we didn't do much except for some improv exercises. I also needed to go by my Beginner's Scriptwriting class but my professor wasn't there so I made a mental note to e-mail him as soon as possible.

I called Kurt afterwards and he agreed to meet for lunch at the Bistro where Quinn bought me the soup. He showed up at about the same time I did and we found a table by the fireplace in the middle of the restaurant after ordering – I ordered the same soup as yesterday and he ordered a chicken and bleu cheese salad with pomegranate dressing.

"How's your day been?" he asks once we're seated. I feel the warmth of the fire behind me and it is rejuvenating. Even though I had been wearing the gloves and the scarf and beanie all day, I still feel cold. I'm glad I listened to Quinn and Santana. I take off my coat, scarf and gloves (and I don't dare taking off the hat – my hair must be a mess under there by now). He does the same as he waits for me to speak.

"It's not been so bad. I'm still a little under the weather but I feel a lot better than yesterday."

"So Quinn, huh?" He goes straight to the point. I smile at the mention of her name but when I make eye contact he still looks serious, "Santana told me what happened yesterday."

"She was just being nice." I say and I don't know why I sound so defensive but it seems like he's about to try to tear her down.

He sighs before grabbing one of my hands with both of his, "She has so much potential to hurt you…" he begins and I avoid eye contact, choosing instead to focus on a painting of a café in Paris on the wall behind him. "But from what I hear – and this is our secret – she really likes you, too."

"What?" I ask when I understand what he means. "Like, really likes me?"

He laughs at my expression and nods, "Yes. I was talking to Brittany this morning and she says that Quinn will not shut up about you."

I start fidgeting with the plastic number the cashier handed us when we ordered. I'm number 15 and Kurt is number 16. "That's… really really great to hear." I close my eyes at the feeling rising up within my chest. When I open them, I can feel it being poured out of me. "I really like her, too."

"Why haven't you told her that yet?"

I shrug, still playing with the plastic, "I wasn't sure she'd reciprocate? She's the head cheerleader and after what everybody's been saying –"

"Oh, come on, Rach. You out of all people should know better than to listen to others. I could tell she liked you that day at the mall. And I don't understand how she can't tell you're obsessed with her."

"I am not obsessed!" I sit taller in my chair, and readjust my beanie with a huff. "I just – she's just really awesome, okay?"

He grins, "sure."

Our conversation is temporarily interrupted by a waiter bringing our food. He sets them in front of us and asks us if we'd like anything else at the moment. We both tell him we're fine and he leaves. Kurt also stands up to grab some free bread and jam. "Please don't tell Blaine I like to eat bread so much. It's all carbs."

"I don't think he'd care at all." I assure him but I can tell he's not listening anymore.

"So," he says after a while of us just eating in silence, "are you going to ask her out soon?"

"I mean, I'm planning to."

He tosses some of his lettuce to the side of his bowl and spears a cherry tomato with his fork, "Yeah?" He smirks, "where are you planning on taking her?"

I admittedly have thought about taking Quinn on a date many times but I can't think of the perfect place for a first date. I want to dazzle her. Impress her like she's never been before but I don't want to make it seem like I'm trying too hard and I definitely do not want to do the clichéd dinner and a movie date. "I don't know."

He gasps dramatically and drops his fork. It clatters around in his bowl loudly and people sitting around us stare. "The Rachel Berry not knowing where to take a girl to a date?"

"Kurt," I hiss at him, "people are staring. Calm down with the dramatics." It sounds ironic coming out of my mouth but I'm not about to discuss my love life with all the patrons in the bistro. "I mean, I know I want to take her somewhere fun and that I know she'd like but I don't know where to take the head cheerleader."

He picks up his fork and smiles, "Maybe you shouldn't be worried where to take the head cheerleader. Just focus on Quinn Fabray."

After lunch Kurt has to meet with Blaine somewhere else on campus for some LGBT club meeting. I think they're organizing a small concert for fundraising sometime in the next month. Kurt is the club's Social Events director and Blaine just goes to support him. I don't usually show up unless I'm trying to pick up girls, which is not the case right now. Santana ignores that she knows us when we talk about the club.

I make my way to the library and catch up on homework. I read two chapters of my World Civ book and take notes. I have my iPod on and my headphones in, trying to shut out the world. It's four hours later when I leave the library.

I haven't seen or heard from Quinn at all today, except for the text in the morning. I'm much more confident about calling her now that I know she likes me back. So that's what I decide to do. I'm eating an apple I picked up in the cafeteria on my way back to my room, sitting on my chair, and browsing through Santana's Tumblr. It's so entertaining – it's mostly pictures of hot, naked girls staring at the camera or hot, naked girls making out. Every once in a while there's a cheerleading picture or pictures of her favorite artists.

She picks up on the third ring and she sounds out of breath, "Hi!" The greeting is ecstatic, much like every other time when I've spoken to her.

"Hello, there. What are you up to?"

"Oh, I literally just got done with cheer practice." She calls out bye to someone and then focuses backs on the conversation, "It's so nice to hear from you."

"I'm just calling to see how your day's been." I tell her. I am holding back the need to tell her I missed her because I spent the past two days hanging out with her and this day has been lame and too long. Time flies by when we're together.

I can practically hear her smile when she talks, "it's been great! I think I did really well on that test I was studying for. Santana really helped me out."

What? I'm startled by this news. Santana helped Quinn out? "Santana as in… my Santana? Like, my best friend and roommate?" I ask to make sure we are talking about the same person. I knew that Santana had been nice to her the day before while I was sick, but this was not expected. Why hadn't Santana told me about this this morning?

"Yes, your Santana." She says. I hear a door open and close and a few seconds later, I hear metal open. "She offered to help me last night at the library. We ran into each other and we talked. She didn't tell you?"

"No, believe me. If she had told me I would've already called you to pry the details out of you. Tell me more?"

"We talked about her cheerleading and I might've mentioned that nobody in our squad would ever treat her like shit for liking girls. I told her that I wouldn't let anyone hurt her."

I'm surprised but I know I shouldn't be. Quinn has been nothing short of sweet and thoughtful ever since we met, "You're amazing."

"It was nothing, Rachel."

"No. That means something to Santana. I know her. And it means something to me. So thank you for doing that."

"My pleasure." She is quiet for a beat before saying, "I have to go shower right now, but I'll call you later?"

Now I have images of Quinn showering and it almost circuits my brain. "Of course. I'll talk to you later."

She does call later that night. I'm already in bed, laying in the dark, because my headache's come back. I took two aspirins like she had told me the day before and for the first time I notice the box has a smiling sun on it. I laugh at it and am still laughing when I pick up the phone. "Hey!"

"Hi, you sound… happy." She says. "Something amuse you?"

"Yes. The aspirin you bought me has a sun on it. It's smiling. It's incredibly adorable." Reminds me of you.

"I'm glad it made you laugh! I thought it was great when I bought it."

I'm trying to control my laughter but I can't. I think now it's a mixture of amusement and giddiness over speaking on the phone with Quinn right before going to sleep. "It is great. The game's tomorrow, right?"

"Yes!" She sounds excited and her excitement rubs off on me. I can't wait to see her cheer. I know she'll be great. Maybe I'll convince Santana to come along and she'll remember how much fun she had when she was a cheerleader. "We're not favorites to win but I can promise you that I'll try my hardest to bring up the school spirit while we cheer."

"If you had said that to me as soon as we had met, it probably would've been a deal breaker." I joke and hear her laugh.

She scoffs at me, "Whatever, Berry, I bet you secretly have a ton of school spirit."

"Santana has more school spirit than I do. That should say something."

"Don't make me come in there and drag your naked ass out!" I threaten Santana. She's been in the shower for the past thirty minutes. She knows I want to leave soon because I don't want to miss the beginning of the game. If Quinn asks I want to be able to tell her details from the game. Kurt and Blaine arrived in the room five minutes ago and the three of us have been talking about how their meeting went.

"Berry! If you yell at me one more time I'll go even slower! You'll regret it."

I huff, turning on my heels back to my bed where I was sitting waiting. I'm wearing jeans and a white sweater with an army green, slim-fit jacket. My hair is in waves, falling over my shoulders, and I'm wearing my combat boots.

I cross my ankles and run a hand through my locks, "She's doing that on purpose."

"Oh, please. She's shaving in case she scores. Santana does love herself a cheerleader even though she hates them." Kurt winces at his own wording and looks at Blaine, "I think she slept with half the squad in high school. I'm surprised those girls acted like they did when she was outed."

I grumble in response and check my phone for the time again. "Sant –" She interrupts me by throwing the door open and coming out naked.

"I'm out!" She throws her hands up and walks across the room to her dresser.

Kurt averts his eyes as if looking at a naked girl would poison him and Blaine simply ducks his head out of respect.

"About time! Hurry up and get dressed. I don't know why I still insist in bringing you to these things with me."

"Because we're a team, Berry." She winks and turns around to look for something to wear.

Somehow we manage to leave the room within twenty minutes. She's wearing jeans and a t-shirt of a band – The Smiths – with a gray sweater and a red knit hat.

We walk to the gymnasium. I only learned today that we weren't watching a football game. I had been assuming that was it because I always saw Quinn hanging out with Sam – the star Quarterback – but football's season's been over for a while now. Apparently the game tonight is a basketball game against a team from Boston.

It's cold outside, but it's not bone-shattering cold like it was yesterday or the day before. It is windy though, and that is kind of a bummer. I have to keep brushing hair off my eyes.

Even before we get to the stadium we can hear the crowd of students cheering and the loud music coming from the game. We're late. I hope I didn't miss Quinn's performance. I hope she hasn't been looking for me because if she has and hasn't seen me I don't want her to think I forgot about her or aren't coming. I turn to Santana clearly peeved and tell her, "We're late."

"Great observation, Captain Obvious," she retorts with a smirk. When we speak, our breaths are visible as white clouds. We stand in the line, Blaine and Kurt holding hands, and me and Santana with our arms crossed. It moves fairly quickly. There are two people manning the line, checking for student IDs and a couple of guys from campus security to make sure no one gets rowdy.

We make our way inside the gymnasium and the first thing I am aware of is the smell of sweat and people. The next thing is the smell of food – hot dogs, nachos, popcorn. I see students walking up and down the stairs right in front of us, holding varying items of food and large cups of soft drinks. To our left and right are concession stands, wrapping around the entire floor. People stream in and out of the bathrooms, and many stop on their way out to talk to someone they know. I lead the way up the steps and find us a seat near the front, as close as I can to the game. At this time it's hard to find seat for four together so up close, but with my great charisma, I manage to get two girls to move over so we can all sit together. I let Santana sit to them and sit next to her, then Kurt then Blaine.

Santana engages in conversation with the two girls and I have no idea how they manage to understand each other with all the noise. The game is at the end of the first quarter. I look for our cheerleaders and find them hanging out on the other side of the gym, near their coach – the psychotic Sue Sylvester, as far as I've heard. She looks aloof at the moment, simply eyeing each move made on the court. Quinn's not with them.

Kurt elbows me on the ribs and points at Quinn, "There she is." He says and my eyes follow his finger and land on her. She's a few feet to the left, talking to a group of guys, all who seem to be in the team. I think they are the bench warmers. Sam is among them. I guess he's not as great of a basketball player as he is a football player, but honestly, I don't understand much about sports in general.

I'm a little jealous at seeing them talking again. It seems like he's always around her. I ignore the thought because I remember when she told me she doesn't like him. They're just friends. I try to convey to her that I've arrived telepathically but I don't think it works.

For the first time since we've met, her short hair is up in a tight high ponytail. The hair tie, I can tell, is a red to match the red and white uniforms. They are sinfully short and her legs are exposed to a great degree, which I'm not complaining. I appreciate her thighs and catch myself staring at her skirt, wondering what's underneath. Her top isn't much help either. It hugs her nicely and it has me hoping she'll turn around soon. She's wearing incredibly, well-maintained sneakers. She has pom-poms in her hands like every other cheerleader in her squad.

The end of the first quarter is announced and the teams retreat to their benches to speak to their coaches. Our team is losing by seven points. Quinn takes this as her cue to move back to where her coach is standing. They exchange words and Sylvester seems to be angry out of nowhere. She takes her megaphone to her mouth and yells right in her face, "MAKE THE CROWD HAPPY!"

I close my fists and furrow my brows at the way she spoke to Quinn. Quinn, in turn, simply nods and turns to her cheerleaders. They talk for a bit and then they're in a straight line, looking at the crowd behind where they were standing and start cheering. Blaine leans over Kurt and says, "I think we're seated on the wrong side of the court." I nod in acknowledgment, disappointed in myself for not realizing this earlier. She'll never notice me now.

Quinn does manage to get our crowd to react to their cheers. I think this mostly happens because the cheerleaders are hot and we're only seven points behind. The game can totally turn around until the fourth quarter, right?

Santana leans into me right when the cheerleaders take a knee by the sidelines and says, "These girls are from Boston. I don't think we're seated on the right side of the court."

I glare at her, "I noticed."

She smiles, pleased with how things are turning out and says, "Bummer, Berry. But hey, these girls are totally flirting with me. I think I'ma go for the redhead."

I pat her on the back, "good for you! Been a while, right?"

She punches me hard on my upper arm, "fuck you." She turns back to them and continues charming them. They're laughing and flipping their hair in all the right spots. I look straight again, to try to pay attention at the game.

Quinn is scanning the crowd behind her clearly looking for someone. She waves at a person and then I notice it's Brittany. The other blonde is jumping up and down in her seat, Mike looks entertained beside her. She blows Quinn a kiss and points to something on the other side of the gym, near where I'm sitting.

She keeps pointing and raising her eyebrows at Quinn then where she's pointing. Quinn looks confused but she looks and that's when I realize Brittany's been pointing at me. Quinn's face breaks into a smile when her eyes land on me. She wants to laugh and I know it's because we're sitting on the away side of the court. I send her a pointed look but I can't hide my smile and wave. She waves back and drops her head in sudden shyness.

Brittany looks accomplished and leans forward to steal a kiss from Mike. They're adorable together. I wonder why I had never tried to engage in longer conversations with the other girl.

I look back at Quinn and she's looking at me as well. One of her eyebrow is raised in a way which I've come to learn means she's interested in what is happening. She's not paying attention to the game at all, or at what her cheerleaders are laughing about around her. She's biting her bottom lip with those perfect, white teeth of hers. Our gazes stay connected for a long time throughout the game. I can't seem to pull myself away from her eyes and she doesn't seem to want to try either.

Forever later, the second quarter ends and the cheerleaders stand to perform for the halftime. When Quinn starts shouting out orders and the music begins playing, I die. She's so good at what she does and I'm incredibly turned on by how she takes charge and focuses in on getting the crowd going. The uniform's skirt lifts up with every moment she makes and I sigh dreamily, thinking about her smooth skin and toned legs and arms.

The cheerleaders are in synch the entire time, all standing in formation behind her, while Coach Sylvester looks smug that at least her girls are better than the other team's. Quinn has her back to me for most of the performance but every time the routine calls for her to do a 180, our eyes find each other's and I always feel like she's dancing just for me. She shakes her pompoms and throws her hands in the air, with a kick here and there and a turn and a clap. At the end, she's at the top of the pyramid, standing without an ounce of fear, towering over everyone else in the gym and that's so fitting because that's just how she is.

Our team made a comeback in the third quarter but ended up losing by the end of the game. I don't really care much about it but the boys of the team look pretty down. The cheerleaders run up to them and hug them to comfort them. I watch as Quinn hugs some tall, dark boy and then another before hugging Sam, holding onto her iPod. He wraps his arms around her waist as if it's customary and their bodies mold together for a few moments until she pushes him away lightly. She's still smiling at him and he looks down, running a hand over his face a couple of times.

She pokes him once on his arm and I have to smile at that. She's trying to cheer him up and if it's working on me from across a gym, I'm sure it's working on him. Her head snaps at me and it looks as if she's trying to see if I saw what she just did. She doesn't look scared or ashamed or even worried about it, more like… she's challenging me? Maybe it's wishful thinking. I pretend I wasn't looking and lean over to my right to talk to Santana.

"Hey, I'm going to go down there to talk to Quinn."

She doesn't even bother turning to look at me, "Cool, I'm going to stay here and hang out with Regan and Lane." She smiles at them and they wave at me as I get up. Kurt and Blaine smile encouragingly at me and I just know Kurt told Blaine about my plan to ask Quinn out tonight.

When she sees me reach the railing that keeps people from jumping to court, she breaks away from Sam and his friends and makes her way over, never breaking eye contact with me.

"Hi," we both say at the same time, while she's still approaching me. We're divided by the height but I lean over the railing and look down into her warm hazel eyes. She has the most beautiful, long eyelashes I've ever seen.

She looks up at me and says, "Hi," once again. She's wrapping her earphones around the frame of her music player.

I laugh, "Hey, you did great out there."

"Thanks," she takes a non-existent lock of hair behind her ear and blows some air up, making her bangs flutter. They had been secure in the ponytail but since they were shorter than her already short hair they had made it out. "You came." She points out, her smiling growing impossibly bigger. She's squinting at me, one of her eyes closed and the other halfway. She puts a hand up to her forehead, blocking the bright lights from behind me.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything else." I tell her. "I'm sorry we lost."

"It's no biggie," she shrugs, "they always do."

"Doesn't that make your job harder?"

"A little," she admits, "but I like the challenge." She smirks and I mirror her smile.

I find myself looking at her lips when she licks them with one swipe. This is my moment. It's now or never. I'll ask her out and she'll say yes and we'll go out and have fun and she'll kiss me and all will be beautiful in the world.

We're looking at each other and I'm about to open my mouth when Sam approaches her with a goofy smile on his face and a towel wrapped around his neck. I don't know why since he hardly played throughout the entire duration of the game. She unwraps her ear buds and starts looking through her songs.

"There you are. Some of us are gonna go grab burgers for a little pick-me-up." She glances at him and then back to her iPod then at me, "You coming?" He jerks a thumb at the guys and girls staring at us.

She breaks eye contact with me with a disappointed frown and looks at him. He looks so excited and hopeful. I feel my heart wrench because I want her to say no. I want her to turn to me and ask if I had anything to ask because I'll say yes and I'll ask her out. I just need her to blow him off. She looks back at me with a raised eyebrow and I'm looking at my own feet, trying to ignore his presence.

"Sure," I hear her say and I look up. She's looking at Sam with a contained, forced smile. "Just give me a minute and I'll be right there." He nods once, waves at me, and then goes back to his friends.

There is a moment of awkward silence around us. I don't think there's ever been a moment between us where it just feels weird. It's like she knows this conversation should've gone a certain way and it didn't. I feel stupid. She speaks first, "I guess I have to get going."

I lean away from the railing and put my hands in my jeans' pockets, "Totally! Your friends are waiting for you." I use my head to point them out behind her and she turns her head just enough to see them looking and then back at me, wrapping her earphones around her fingers this time.

"Right," She looks at her sneakers and I think I see a pained expression cross her eyes for a second before she looks at her iPod and says, "Could you – would you –" She tries starting the sentence a couple of times before sighing and then just thrusting the iPod up, catching my eyes with hers and waiting for me to grab it. "Here. Take this. I'll get it from you sometime this weekend."

I hold on to her iPod, confused as to what just happened and she smiles at me once again, but not as bright as it usually is. She nods once and then makes her way back to her friends, who all laugh together when she approaches. She looks at me again, while she's grabbing her duffle bag. I wave, still curious as to what she meant by giving me her iPod.

I feel Kurt and Blaine come closer before they even say anything. Blaine asks the question we all have in our minds, "Why is she leaving?"

I scoff bitterly at myself, "I took too long."

Kurt points at the iPod in my hand and then it's his turn to ask another question, "is that hers?"

"Yeah?"

"So she just handed it to you and left?" He asks next.

I turn to face them and cross my arms, upset, "yes! Why?"

Blaine shrugs, "why would she just hand you her iPod and then leave?"

"Maybe she wants you to look," Kurt reasons. "I mean, wouldn't that be the most reasonable option?"

I consider what he's saying and how she was acting when she did give me the iPod. It makes sense. If she handed it to me, then I should look in it to see what she wants me to see. If I had found it or taken it, it would've been a different story because it'd be invasion of privacy, but she herself gave it to me so she wants me to see.

I sigh and look longingly at the music player, wondering what the message she's trying to convey is. When I look up at the Wonder Twins, they're staring at the iPod with as much curiosity as I feel.

"Okay," I breathe out. The gym is a lot emptier now. The seats all around us are vacant. There are only a few clusters of people left behind, talking animatedly about the game or the cheerleaders performance. I risk a look at where Quinn had been with her friends and she's not there, duh. I look at where I was sitting during the game and Santana is still talking to Regan – the redhead. The other girl has disappeared. "Okay," I say again, confirming Kurt's and Blaine's and even mine's wishes.

I press a button at the top right and wait for the screen to light up. The name of a song and its artist pops up, along with a picture of the album cover. Instantly, I smile. Now I understand what she was trying to say. I show the screen to Kurt and his boyfriend in front of me and they share a look before bursting into laughter. I put the earphones in my ears and press play even though I know this song. It's a lively song, with a lot of drumming and guitar. I try to stifle my laughter but can't contain it when he gets to the chorus.

_Then I said,_

_Girl, if you're wondering if I want you to_

_I want you to_

_(I want you to)_

_So make your move_

_(make the move)_

_Cause I ain't got all night_


	6. Chasing Rubies (Hudson Taylor)

The game starts and I stand by the sidelines, cheering our team on alongside my cheerleaders. I haven't really had time to see if Rachel's here or not, and I haven't been able to get to my phone and check for texts or phone calls.

I throw my arms in the air, shaking my pom-poms, and my cheerleaders follow suit, trying to agitate the crowd. I recognize a few faces in the crowd in front of us, but none of them belong to Rachel or Santana. I know she's bringing her so my reasoning is, if I find Santana, I'll find Rachel.

By the end of the quarter I'm losing all hope in ever finding her. Maybe she didn't show up at all. I have my cheerleaders take a break and we all spread to talk to our boys or to friends in the seats above us. Sam calls me over and I jog to him.

"Great spirit you guys are bringing tonight. We need that." He says and I agree. Our team is already losing by seven. We know we aren't the favorites to win, but maybe with me and my girls, we'll be able to do something for them. Maybe our excitement will boost up their confidence.

"Thanks! Do you play tonight?" I ask, not really looking into his eyes but looking behind him for that familiar face.

He checks to see who's behind him and then turns to face me, "Uh, no, just you know, sitting out today. I gotta get my knee checked." He explains. I remember him telling me about hurting his knee sometime during practice the week before and how it wasn't too bad, but he's mentioned it hurting so often now that I think he should've already checked it out.

Absent-minded, I reply, "you need to go see a doctor for that." It's more like a mumble. My eyes are scanning every face on the seats until I see someone I know and love! Brittany! A grin spreads over my face and she waves at me excitedly. She keeps pointing to a point on the other side of the gym, and raising her eyebrow as if she's trying to convey me a message that I'm not getting. I finally look at where she's pointing and I'm glad I do because my eyes land on none other than Rachel Berry. She's already looking at me, with a smile in place, and amused eyes. She's sitting between Santana and Kurt, with Blaine next to Kurt and some other girls talking to Santana.

She's been sitting on the away side of the gym and I have to try really hard not to laugh. I keep eye contact though, until the first quarter ends and I have to decide which routine we're going to put on right now to keep the crowd happy.

I walk over to Coach Sylvester and she yells at me to get it going, so I turn to my cheerleaders (thinking about how hot it is that Rachel gets to see me do this) and command them to start cheering.

I can feel her eyes on me the entire time and a need to impress her builds up within me.

For the duration of the second quarter, I keep my eyes on her. She doesn't seem to be bothered by this, in fact, she does the same. I don't even realize how fast this quarter goes by until it's time for me to perform for halftime.

The routine is supposed to be for our side of the gym, but every so often, we do have to turn around. When these moments happen, I always find myself staring at Rachel's ever-inviting eyes. She smiles the entire time I perform and I smile because how can I not? The girl I'm totally crushing on is here tonight and from what I hear from my friends and hers, she's totally into me, too. I have a feeling she'll be asking me out. Or, more like a hope.

Our team loses even after a comeback in the third quarter but it's okay because us cheerleaders know we're a lot better than they are. Coach Sylvester lets us even go straight back to our dorms instead of making us run another mile at the end of the game.

This is an exciting opportunity. I know that Rachel's still looking at me but I can't make my way over yet because I have head cheerleader duties to fulfill like keeping the boy's mood's up. I walk over to Sam and his friends, hug each one of them, and then wish him better luck next time. He whines about not even being able to play and help turn the game around but I poke his upper arm, earning a smile. As soon as I do, my head turns to check for Rachel's reaction. How does she feel about all of this?

She averts her eyes to play it like she hasn't been watching me this entire time and says something to Santana. I keep messing with my iPod because I'm nervous and having something to play around with helps calm me down and make it seem like I know what I'm doing. Also, after every game, I usually run listening to music but this time I didn't need it.

I see Rachel start coming down the steps to the railing which keeps people from jumping to court. I excuse myself and walk up to her to meet her halfway, like most of the times we see each other.

"Hi," we both say at the same time, while I'm still coming closer. She looks down at me from where she's leaning over the railing. I worry about her falling but I'm more excited about the fact she's here.

I look up and say, "Hi," again, to register that yes, she is here.

She laughs before complimenting me, "Hey, you did great out there."

I reach and tuck in nothing behind one of my ears, more just because I need something to do with the hand that's not holding my music player. "Thanks," I blow some hair up and my bangs feel funny dancing across my forehead. "You came," are the next words that come out of my mouth. The lights behind Rachel's head are kind of bothersome but I don't care. I squint and smile.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything else. I'm sorry we lost." She says and she sounds truly sad about this but I'm already used to us losing.

"It's no biggie, they always do."

"Doesn't that make your job harder?" She asks, tilting her head just so to the side, contemplating what my job entails.

I have to admit that yes, my job is a little harder when our team insists on losing "but I like the challenge." We both smile and I know it's coming.

I know that she's about to ask me out. I know she wants what I want. We like each other, how hard does this have to be? I find myself twisting and untwisting the white cord of my headphones around my fingers, but staring into deep brown; a warm haven, comforting and always beautiful. I lick my lips when I think about hers, and daydream about actually getting a real hug from her.

I watch resolution flicker across her eyes and wait for the words to come out of her mouth when I feel the good, intense tension break and the air shift. Sam comes up to us and I try not to look so disappointed while I unwrap the cord and start looking through my music.

If I look disinterested by what he's saying, it's because I am. I'm pretty upset that he interrupted my moment with Rachel. How can he not take a hint?

"There you are. Some of us are gonna go grab burgers for a little pick-me-up." I glance up at him and notice he has a towel wrapped around his neck as if he has been sweating profusely because he played so hard (when he didn't play at all). Then I look back at my iPod to check which song is next on shuffle and then back up at Rachel, hoping she says something. "You coming?" He jerks a thumb at the guys and girls staring at us.

I look at them, breaking eye contact with Rachel and I frown, thinking about spending time with them instead of her. I feel so bad for Sam because he looks so excited, but all in me is screaming that I should say 'no,' so I can go out with Rachel. But, she hasn't asked me and I'm not sure she will anymore. I also have to think about the guys of the team and the cheerleaders. It's some sort of expectation that I go because of who I am and I can't disappoint my team. Also, if Coach Sylvester learns that Sam asked me to hang out and I said no, she will strangle me with her bare hands.

"Sure," I say and Rachel's eyes snap up to me. I can feel them burning a hole through the side of my head. An idea hits me. I manage to say, "Just give me a minute and I'll be right there," to Sam, who nods once and leaves. "I guess I have to get going," I tell her when he's out of earshot. Thankfully for me, with one click of a button that I know Rachel didn't notice, I know the song I need her to hear is ready and waiting.

She says, "Totally! Your friends are waiting for you."

"Right," I look down and then at my iPod, garnering the strength to go through with this small plan. "Could you – would you –" I'm having trouble phrasing what I want to say but then I just decide to get it over with because if Rachel needs a damn push to ask me, I'll freaking do it. "Here. Take this. I'll get it from you sometime this weekend."

I smile when she takes it, but it's not as easy to do so when I know I'm going to be spending time with people who aren't Rachel. I nod once and make me way to my friends, groaning that this conversation did not come out the way I had expected it to. I mean, if Rachel likes me as much as everyone says she does and it's so obvious, why didn't she just keep me from saying 'yes' to Sam?

My friends are laughing when I get closer, and I join them, even though I have no idea what's happening. I grab my bag in autopilot and end up looking at Rachel again. She looks confused at the item in her hand but I hope she understands what is it that I want. I follow my friends out of the gym and into a cab.

The burger joint looks grimy and ancient but when I bite into the burger, it is juicy and one of the best burgers I've ever tasted. I appreciate Sam for choosing this place and persuading me into buying this BLT. I don't know what is it that they do but it makes a difference.

I try to stay engaged in conversation but the uniform is bothering me, I'm tired of pretending I care about a word this douch-y looking guy who's sitting next to me is saying, and I just can't stop wondering how Rachel reacted to the song. Did she like it? Was she surprised or excited? Did she not care for it at all? I don't know because I haven't heard from her yet. I rest my cheek on my hand and daydream, looking out into the busy streets of New York City. It rained during the game, but it already stopped. The air smells like rain, the pavement is wet and glistening, and the moon is reflecting on puddles all over the street. The window I'm looking through is not yet completely dried, so I follow the path of one drop of water.

Sam snaps me out of it by leaning across the table and waving a hand in front of my face obnoxiously, "Hey, you with us?" He asks with that stupid boyish grin of his that I can't seem to hate as much as I want to. He'd probably be a really good friend if he wasn't always trying to get with me.

I clear my head from thoughts of the brunette and smile, practiced and fake, "Of course." He nods and turns to pay attention to Ashley's story about her spray-tanning incident last summer that's gotten everyone but me laughing. Claudia lets out a loud cackle when Ashley tells the punchline. I struggle to at least smile at her when she looks at me as she recounts the day, but Sam manages to notice something's off. I can tell he's trying to come up with a way to broach it but I ignore eye contact and check my phone one more time for messages or calls.

About twenty minutes later when we're all hitching a cab back to campus, my ringtone starts to play. I fumble within the small space of the back seat, squished between Ash and Sam, and miraculously pull out the phone from my cheer letter jacket. I check the screen and release a shaky breath, both anxious and excited about the prospects of this call. Except I remember where and with who I am and I realize we can't really talk right now. I pick up anyway because I don't want her to think I'm ignoring her.

"Quinn?" She says as soon as the call is connected.

"Hi," I say with a hand cupping my mouth and the phone's bottom where the mic is. I roam my eyes over the people in the cab and they're all staring at me, expectant to know what's going on.

"Are you alright?" She asks, I presume because of the way I sound – hushed and secretive. I'm not hiding her from my friends. I don't care who knows that I enjoy talking with her; it's just that the conversation I'm praying will happen between us soon has to do with us going out on a date, and I just won't talk about that around anybody else.

"Just fine. Listen, can I call you back in, like, five minutes? I'm on a cab back to campus and there's five of us in here so it's a little cramped." I hope she understands my message and she seems to when she lets out a small, 'oh.'

"It's no problem." She assures me. Sam is looking at me and weighing my reaction to this phone call. Rachel's voice is mellow and shy when she adds, "But please, do call."

I smile because this is good. She called me and wants me to call back. I can totally do that. When haven't I called her back? Never! because Rachel Berry is not someone you leave hanging. I leave no rooms for doubt, "Five minutes, tops. As soon as I set foot on campus."

"Goodbye for now then, Quinn."

"Goodbye," I say and turn off the cell. There is silence in the taxi except for the soft music coming through the car's speakers playing Ke$ha's Tik Tok. I look at everyone looking at me and ask, "what?" as if I don't know what they want to know.

Ashley smirks and is the first to speak, "well? Who was that?" She is waiting for an answer along with everyone else.

I sigh and I can't help it that it comes out much more dreamily than I had intended, "It's a friend."

"Who?" She pushes for information. Then she takes a guess, "Is it Puckerman? That boy has been talking about wanting to get with you for a while now."

Sam looks disturbed at this information, furrowing his brow and choosing to look away to watch the packed homes of New York pass by.

"No," I say, "it's not Puckerman."

The douch-y looking guy – Ethan – then asks, "Then who?" He seems interested in knowing not because he's into me (thank goodness) but just out of curiousity.

"What does it matter?" Sam asks, irritated. "She doesn't want to tell us. It's not like she was completely fascinated by whomever that was." I hear cynicism in his tone of voice. I don't know how to react to the way he's acting so I just sit back and stay silent the rest of the ride.

I pay for my share of the cab, which is only like $5 dollars, and start walking fast toward my dorm. I just want to get away enough from my friends to call Rachel in peace but I hear someone's steps coming after me. He calls my name out and I stop to speak to him.

"Quinn," Sam says as he catches up to me. My hand was already on my phone. I turn around to face him, my eyes are cold. "Look, sorry for earlier in the cab."

I wave a hand in front of me, "It's whatever, Sam."

"No, really. Just… this is that girl you were talking to in the gym after the game isn't it? Berry something?"

My eyes widen when he says that and look down when I nod.

"That's cool," He says and looks around at the few souls walking past us to and fro places. "You seem to really like her and she's super into you; I could tell just by the looks you guys were giving each other. This is the same friend who was sick, isn't it?" For pegging him as a dork, Sam is actually a lot smarter than I ever gave him credit for. I don't understand why he kept trying though but as long as he understands now that I don't want anything, we're cool.

"Yes, it's her. Sorry, Sam," I grimace because if someone was about to tell me what I'm about to tell Sam I'd be super embarrassed. "I wish I liked you like that because you're great –"

He interrupts me right there with a soft, "hey," and I look at him. "Please, stop talking. Not helping my ego." He laughs and I'm glad he seems okay. "I'll back off. We should totally hang out as friends, though. You're cool." He raises his fist and waits for me to bump mine with his. I do, smiling. "Go get her, pal." He finishes and turns around back to where Ash, Claudia and Ethan are still waiting.

Now I can finally call her as I make my way to my dorm. I wait for a while before she picks up, "Hi! Sorry! I was listening to your iPod and couldn't hear my phone ringing." She tells me and I smile at the thought of her listening to that song and others. Listening to the songs I listen to is like getting a free pass into my brain. Most of the songs I own are lyrics I wish I had written, adventures I wish to take, love stories I want to star it.

"So you did listen to it."

"Yes," her laughter echoes in my ear, a melodious bubbly sound which I'd love to listen to it for hours, and then she says, "nice hint. I loved it."

"Well, then. What are you waiting for?" I hear myself asking and then blush slightly at how forward I seem.

She clears her throat, "I want to do it in person. Can I – can I come over your room tonight? Really quick?"

I feel butterflies throw a party in my stomach. I bite my bottom lip and grin, unable to suppress the happiness that takes over me. "Yes! Um, I live on Hutch. Third floor, room #167." I say it as fast as I can because I'm super excited about her coming over for the first time and I actually know what she's coming over for!

She laughs again and it's so beautiful every time, "I'll see you in ten, then, Fabray?" She says with a confident tone of voice, because she knows I want it. I want it badly.

There's three light knocks on my door and I jump out of my bed to get it. I look around my room one last time and make sure everything is organized. My roommate is actually gone. I have no idea where she is but I honestly don't mind. On my way to the door, I pull on the skirt I changed into (after the fastest shower of my life).

I open the door wide and instead of a face, I'm greeted by flowers. They're sunflowers. There's a lot of them. "Well, hello there, Sunflowers." I say with playful peek at Rachel standing behind the bouquet.

"Hi," She says with a high pitched voice. "Quinn, you look gorgeous as ever."

I giggle at the compliment and look down at what I'm wearing. The long black and white stripped skirt and a pink tank top. My room is pretty warm so I'm okay like this. My hair is still wet from the shower and I only fixed it with mousse. My cheeks warm up at what she says. "Thank you, Sunflowers. Will you come in?" I say and open the door wider.

Rachel comes in, and hands me the bouquet. "Hi," she says in her normal voice and hooks her thumbs in her jeans' belt loops. She looks bashful. I am enchanted by the flowers. They're so beautiful and lively. "They reminded me of you. So fun and full of life. Beautiful." The last word comes out as a whisper, as if she's reverently thinking of me and my so-called beauty when I'm standing right there.

"Rachel, thank you. They are beautiful."

I close the door and lean back on it, touching each delicate flower with my fingertips. "They mean something like… adoration, or – you know. Secret admirer."

It's as if the confident person I was speaking on the phone is no longer here. I smile at her because she looks so damn adorable all flushed and rambling and scrunching her nose at herself. "I love them, really, I do."

She looks at me and smiles, "So, Quinn Fabray," she clears her throat and I raise an eyebrow, humming to let her know she can speak because I'm listening. "Will you – do you want to, maybe, uh," she looks up then down, and then frantically dries her palms on the coarse fabric of her jeans repeatedly. "Wow, I never get this nervous," She mutters under her breath. "Okay." She takes three deep breaths before squaring her shoulders and looking at me dead on, "Will you go out on a date, completely non-platonic, with me?" She's standing next to my bed, hands clasped behind her back.

The words are amazing to hear. I feel my heart try to claw its way out of my chest and smile, "Yes! Of course." I'm amazed it even took as long as three seconds for me to reply.

She visibly stands up straighter, the weight of the question off her shoulders. "Great. Great! Yes! Awesome. Well, how's tomorrow at 7 sound?" She asks, already making her way to the door.

"It sounds perfect." I follow after her, not wanting to watch her go already.

She's standing right outside my door again, but without the flowers this time, and I'm holding onto the wood with both hands, my face resting on the flat end. She plays with the knob, hitting it gently over and over and over. Both of our eyes are focused on the action. "I can't wait." She says and a half-smirk shows up.

"I know, me neither." I say. I drop one of my hands near the door knob and immediately hers seek mine and she absent-mindedly plays with my fingers. She's just looking at our hands and we're both very aware that this has just become very real. Our feelings are both out there.

She lingers one moment longer and then takes a step back. "Good night." She says.

I say it to her retreating form and close the door behind me when I make my way back into my room. I walk over to where I had placed the flowers and sit in front of them on my desk. I can't help but stare, taking it all in: The moment my door opened and I saw them, how they smell, how she looked bashful, her asking me out, saying yes, and her touching my hand and the shivers I felt at the touch. She is intoxicating.

I push the chair back and look for something to put the flowers in. I find a dusty pitcher I haven't used in one of the boxes under my bed. I bet my mother thought it'd be good to have one but I never even unpacked it. I guess it came in handy. I wash it quickly and then fill it up with water. I take the flowers out of its wrapper and place it inside the pitcher, on top of my desk. The flowers add life to my workstation and they make me smile. Rachel makes me smile.

It's not until I get up to go to bed again that I see it. I've been checking Facebook for the past thirty minutes, and it's now almost midnight. I chuckle at it because Rachel would. I walk toward my bed and pick up the white iPod resting on top of my sheets. "So clever." I comment to myself.

My roommate comes in the door but I'm not even paying attention to her. My eyes are fixed on this fountain of music and lyrics that'll give me a greater sense of the person Rachel is. I press play and listen to the song she had been listening to, hoping she picked it so I could listen to it, too. It's I Kinda Like You by Jeremy Ashida and I beam when I hear the lyrics.

And this may not be new news  
But here's the conclusion I came to  
That I kinda like you  
I kinda like you, I kinda like you, I do

I'm expecting to find thousands of Broadway songs from shows like Les Mis, The Phantom of the Opera, Wicked, RENT!, Spring Awakening, and Mamma Mia! And I do. They're all accountable for and more. Still, I find myself finding songs in there I just never thought about Rachel listening to. There's a lot of Sara Bareilles; a lot of John Mayer; there's a lot of Death Cab, she obviously (and thankfully) has a lot of the Beatles, The Smiths, She & Him, and even Alicia Keys and the Dave Matthews Band, and some more obscure artists I've never even heard of.

Mary, my almost always silent roommate, speaks. "Whoa, these sunflowers are beautiful."

"Thank you," I retort. The smile is back on my face and now it's starting to hurt my cheek muscles because Rachel just keeps having this effect on me. "A girl gave them to me tonight."

She looks at me in surprise and then says, "Sweet!" She ties her long hair up in a ponytail and starts changing.

I don't know why Mary and I never really talked before but I'm looking at the world through pink glasses tonight: la vie en rose. I start to change into pajamas alongside her, "So you aren't surprised I'm gay?"

"No. Not at all. I totally knew." She admits and then makes her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth. "I just didn't think you were the relationship type." She tells me after she spits.

I laugh and I guess I understand her point. I'm always so concerned with cheerleading and classes I never thought about dating. But then I watched that play with that incoming freshman and that changed. I was just waiting for my chance to come. I shrug, "I guess not."

"Who is the girl?" She asks and I remember the iPod I'm holding.

"Rachel Berry." I tell her. I lay back in bed, staring at our ceiling. Our room has a slightly different layout than Rachel's. We don't have bunks, our beds are parallel to each other's.

She takes a moment to think and when she turns off the light she says, "I totally know who you're talking about. Short, brunette, theatre major?"

I smile, "Yeah, that's her."

She high fives me before lying down and I giggle at her reaction, "She's a total hottie." She must notice the way I frown, not out of disagreement with the statement, but wondering if my roommate could possibly – "Hey, don't worry. I'm totally straight. I have a boyfriend."

I didn't know that at all. "Ah, that's awesome. Does he go here?" I ask her and we talk for hours until we both pass out.

Brittany is over because I need help deciding what to wear. Rachel hasn't told me anything about our date tonight, except that I be there when she comes to pick me up. She told me whatever I wear will be fine because I look beautiful in anything, which only made me blush and was no help whatsoever to my case.

I recruited Britt's help and we've been in my room, looking through my closet since 5 o'clock in the afternoon.

Today, I woke up singing with the birds. I barely ate breakfast because of the excitement. My morning went by as a blur and honestly, my afternoon was spent thinking about tonight and wondering how our date is going to go.

Now, I'm anxious because I don't know what to wear and I still have to shower, do my make up, and fix my hair. It's been thirty minutes since Britt arrived and I can't decide.

She pulls out a red dress and looks at me questioningly. "No." I tell her. She throws it on the bed and looks for something else. I'm sitting on my bed with one leg under the other, trying to calm myself down. Tonight has to be perfect.

"What about this one?" Britt asks, pulling out a green summery dress.

"It's too cold for that one. Though I admittedly love that one."

"Fine." She throws that on top of the pile of dresses and skirts and tops forming on my bed.

I pick up Rachel's iPod that has been by my side all day and press play. It shuffles and starts with the song What I Wouldn't Do by A Fine Frenzy. I let the guitar melody lift me up while staying in my room. If we were children/ I would bake you a mud pie /Warm and brown beneath the sun/ Never learned to climb a tree / But I would try / Just to show you what I'd done. I sing along with the lyrics that I know, which are only a couple of lines. Brittany looks at me and I smile, finally being able to relax some. Just listening to the music Rachel enjoys makes me feel closer to her. Oh What I wouldn't do / If I had you, babe / If I had you.

Brittany yelps and turns around with a huge grin. "I found it!" She pulls out a white dress.

I nod, "yes! Perfect!" She finds a gray coat of mine and lends me a teal scarf to wear with the dress. I decide to go with the cowgirl boots just because I feel more comfortable in them and they'll keep me warm.

I shower while Britt puts all the other clothes back in the closet. When I come out of the bathroom already in my matching set of soft pink lacy underwear, she's already got my makeup out.

She sits and waits for me to blow dry my hair and curl it. Her smile is gigantic when I turn away from the mirror and she nods approvingly. I sit on a chair in front her and she starts putting on my makeup; she keeps it light just like she knows I like it.

There's a knock at about five before seven and I know it's Rachel. I glance at Britt again, hoping she'll tell me if I look good or not. She just comes closer and wraps me up in a bear hug. I let myself hug her back for a good while until another knock reminds me that I'm going on a date with Rachel Berry.

I inhale a very deep breath and then make my way to the door, exhaling slowly as I come closer to it.

And the vision I see when I manage to open the door doesn't disappoint, exactly like every other time I've ever laid my eyes on this girl. "Hi," she says with wide eyes and an even wider smile. "You look great." She notices Britt deep inside the room and acknowledges her too, "Hey, Brittany."

Britt waves and then disappears further into my room, mostly because I don't think there's anywhere else she could go.

I'm still taking in Rachel. Her makeup is smoky, emphasizing her eyes and bringing out their natural exotic beauty. Her hair is straight with her bangs framing her face. She's wearing jeans and a grey pullover sweater with a black leather jacket and her black combat boots. "I could say the same about you." Those jeans sure make her legs and butt look amazing.

"Are you ready to go?" She asks and I nod, grabbing my purse.

I turn to Britt, "I'm leaving, Britt. Thanks for everything. Bye!"

She says back, "Bye! Have fun! Be good to Rachel."

Rachel and I exchange smiles and I giggle, "I will." I assure them both, looking into Rachel's eyes.

She extends her hand with a smile and I grab it. It feels perfect. Our hands just fit together. Her hands are cold because she was just outside but I don't mind it. I bring my other hand up and use both hands to warm hers up. "Your hand's cold." I tell her.

"Sorry –" She says and is about to pull away but I stop her.

I can't let this girl take back her hand when I have held it and now what it feels like. It's soft, and it's made to hold mine. I smile at her reassuringly, promising with my look that I don't care, and that in fact, I like it. "I'll keep them warm for you."


	7. We'll Be A Dream (We The Kings ft. Demi Lovato)

I'm going over the date in my head while I walk from my dorm to Quinn's. Santana told me I'd look fine in my favorite pair of ripped jeans with a gray pullover. I'm wearing a leather jacket that matches my combat boots. I straightened my hair and did my makeup smoky the way Santana says is smoldering and will have Quinn dropping her panties as soon as she sees me.

It's 6:50 pm when I get to Hutch – Quinn's dorm. I don't want to be too early, so I just hang out in the lobby, listening to her iPod while people watching. I recognize some people and wave back when they wave at me. Some even say I look nice and I thank them with a polite smile. After five minutes, I can't take it anymore. I'm dying to see her; I'm dying to be with her; I'm dying to take her out.

Not a minute past 6:55 I'm knocking on her door. I check things off in my head while waiting: wallet – check; reservations – check; weather – check. I knock again. I take in a steadying breath when I think about who I'm taking out.

The door opens. "Hi," I say, blinking my widening eyes repeatedly because she is a vision of beauty. I could look at her face for hours. I don't even know how I landed a date with her, "You look great." I notice Brittany in the back, smirking at us, completely ecstatic it seems. "Hey, Brittany." She waves at me and then disappears further into the room. I look back at Quinn. She's smiling and staring at me.

"I could say the same about you." I love those boots. They're the same she was wearing the first day I ever saw her. She looks hot in them.

"Are you ready to go?"

She nods and grabs her purse before saying bye to Brittany. "I'm leaving, Britt. Thanks for everything. Bye!"

Brittany replies, "Bye! Have fun! Be good to Rachel."

Quinn and I smile at each other and she says, "I will." Her voice is so husky; it sends shivers down my spine thinking about how she will be good to me. This girl standing in front of me is someone I never even know I was missing but as soon as I saw her I knew – I knew something had been lacking. I'm so content at the moment. I want to hold her hand so I offer mine and she takes it and it just… it works. It's inexplicably perfect.

"Your hand's cold." She says once we're walking down the hallway.

I don't know what to do. I try to pull away, "Sorry –" so I can warm it up but she stops me.

"I'll keep them warm for you." And she does. There's a warm feeling at the tip of my toes that rises up and washes my body from inside out like a wave. It's so cute how she swings our arms between us. I feel like a kindergartener. "So, what are we doing?" She asks.

I hold the door that leads us outside into the cold crisp air of New York at nighttime. She steps out first and purrs when cold air hits her. I start walking her in the direction of the avenue so we can catch a cab. "I'm going to serenade you all night long so you can hear how beautiful my voice is and then you'll never call me cocky again because you'll know I'm right." I grin, squeezing her hands lightly to let her know I'm just joking.

She laughs, "I wouldn't mind that actually. I already know your voice is beautiful."

"Well then," I tap my free index finger to my chin, as if considering the possibility, "I'll remember that for posterity." Her eyes sparkle, rivaling the stars. It's not like we can see the stars anyway because of all the lights on in the buildings towering around us, but I imagine that Quinn's eyes hold constellations and constellations of stars in them. They're always so bright, illuminating everything around them, with mystery and a little bit of romance all wrapped together. "I love your eyes," I tell her. "Have I ever told you that?" I ask, bashfully looking down and biting a lip, but then meeting them again.

"No." She says, voice just as low as mine. We're walking close, to keep the heat going, but also because I just want to be as close to her as I can for as long as I have her tonight.

"Well, I do. They're so infinite."

She smiles softly, licking her lips in the process, "wow. Nobody has ever put it that way. You're smooth, Berry." She jokes, with a timid laugh.

"It's not a line." I say, just so she knows I'm not saying it just because we're here, together. Or because I plan to sleep with her at the end of the date or something insane like that. I say it because I mean it. I say it because I can't not look at them when they're near. I say it because they hold so much and promise so much. "It's true."

"Thank you." She says. "I actually think my eyes are really boring. I like yours." She shrugs. I let go of her hand for a second so I can step up closer to the street, but still on the curb so I don't get killed on the best night of my life, and signal for a cab to stop.

I step back so I'm next to her again and hold her hand again. "Your eyes are definitely not boring. It's like –" I start to think how I can put this into words for her. The taxi stops right in front of us, and just like I held the door of the dorm building for her, I open the car's door. She graciously nods and slides in. I follow close. I scoot forward to rest my elbows on the driver's and passenger's seat and say to the driver, "230 Fifth Avenue, please."

He just nods and takes off. I turn back to twinkling hazel and remember our conversation. I drop the timbre of my voice and turn toward her, still holding onto her hand, playing with her fingers. "Your eyes are warm and comforting but still bright," I start, gazes locked. "There are greens and yellows – amber and hazel at the same time – gold. They are magnets, pulling any other set of eyes to them, just to try to look a little longer and try to understand who the person behind them are. They're like the stars, you know? They provide a glimpse of what the universe is like; they promise us that there's more beyond than what we see. And your eyes are like that. They're the portals to who you are. When I look into your eyes, I just want to plunge in all that you are and explore the universe you hold."

I see her take in a quick breath and expel it as fast as she inhaled it. "If you keep talking like that, Berry, I don't know what I'll do to you." She comments, shaking her head, and dropping her eyes. She has a shy smile on her lips.

"So!" I say to answer her earlier question, "I'm going to take you out to dinner first and then we'll be going to a cool museum with stuff I think you'll enjoy. Or I hope you do anyway."

She beams, "I love museums!"

I'm nervous because maybe she's been to this museum, but I also have a trick up my sleeve and I hope it works out in my favor. "Good. I don't know how many museums you've been to in the city yet, but I'm more than willing to go to every one of them with you."

"Deal," She nods with excitement, "I've only been to the MoMA, it's kind of embarrassing."

"Nonsense. College life can take a lot of time. It's actually my first time going to this museum, too… Rubin Museum of Himalayan Arts?" I say trying to remember the name. "It sounded really interesting. They focus on the arts of – you guessed it – countries like Nepal, India, China…"

"I can't wait!" She chirps, "This might be my favorite date ever and it just started. Granted, it might have a little bit to do with the person I'm going with…"

"Just a little?" I bite back a smile and close an eye, looking at her with only one, hoping.

"Okay," she concedes, "maybe a lot."

"Just maybe?" I ask, my tone of voice rising and my eyebrows shooting up.

She laughs and squeezes my hand, "definitely."

Our incredibly tall waiter, clad in black and white with a bow tie and vest leads us to our table. The original plan had been to eat outside, in their rooftop garden, but it was too cold so I asked him if we could stay inside but by a window.

We're seated and the view is breathtaking. The city of New York really is as glorious as the movies make it look and being a part of it sometimes is still surreal to me. The waiter actually pulls out Quinn's chair for her. "Can I offer you ladies anything to drink?"

The lighting in here is low and the place is decorated with high-end furniture, in pink and purple. The bar, on the other side of the restaurant, offers everything one could possibly imagine. The menu of the restaurant has been appraised by many critics and their chef is ridiculously famous around the world.

I watch Quinn look around, mesmerized. "Rachel," She says, ducking her head to search my eyes. "This place… it's like, freaking expensive, isn't? She reaches for one of the menus that the waiter placed on the table and opens it. Her mouth drops; her jaw almost hits the table. "This is crazy!" She glances up at the waiter who's waiting with a pad in hand.

"It's no big deal, Quinn." I assure her and close the menu, taking it from her so she can look back at me. "Trust me, okay? Just… order whatever. It's on me." My fathers are both successful in what they do. Dad is a lawyer and Daddy is a doctor. They earn well, and that means I get a lot of money for allowance and I can do whatever I want with it. Usually the money goes toward lessons, new dance clothes or shoes, new outfits for theatre, new movies, new music, and spa days with Santana. Except this weekend, I have a much better reason to splurge. I smile and hand the menu back to her. "I'll have sweet tea to drink and she'll have…"

She still looks a bit worried but gives in, "I'll have the same, please." The waiter writes down our drinks order and leaves. She scans her options on the menu.

"Are you feeling adventurous?" I ask, leaning in a bit, with a secretive smile.

She nods, "Yes!" and leans in too, to hear what I have to say.

"How about… you pick something for me to eat and I'll pick something for you to eat?" I ask, and scan over the menu in my hands.

She hums, considering what I asked, and corks an eyebrow. "Deal!"

We both lean back and start going over their options. She keeps looking up at me over her menu, to check if I'm still looking, and I do the same. "Okay." She says after a good five minutes.

"Okay?" I ask.

"Okay. I know what I'll order for you." She says, closing the menu with a satisfactory smile and a triumphant look.

"This isn't a competition to see who orders the best food…," I ask, "right?"

"Everything can become a competition, Rachel." She still has a smug look on her face.

I can't fight off the smile, "of course. I should've known… head cheerleader has to have competition running through her veins. Okay, so what is it that I'll be having?"

She shakes her head and pointer finger, "nuh uh. I'll only tell Riley."

"The waiter?" I question.

"Yes! You can't know what you'll be eating and I don't want to know what you're asking for me either."

Since when did she take over the reins of this date? I don't even care though because I'm so excited to see what she'll order for me. Maybe she'll get it right on, and maybe I'll do a better job for her. It's still fun and fresh and thrilling and a little bit nerve-wrecking.

The waiter comes with our drinks and we each tell him our order separately, explaining we're ordering for each other and we don't want to know what the other asked for. He grins when I tell him what Quinn's having, as if he knows something neither of us does.

"Are you nervous?" I ask, trying to seem menacing.

"Why would I be? I know my choice was the best."

I smirk, "we'll just have to see. So," I take a sip of my tea, "tell me something about you that I don't know."

She looks sheepish, "well, what do you want to know?"

"Everything. Anything."

Quinn stirs her tea and ice with the straw provided and then smiles around it as she drinks. "Mmm, let's see. You know I cheerlead. I led my high school team to Nationals three times – I became head cheerleader as a sophomore." I nod, impressed, and motion for her to keep talking. "I was recruited by this school and Sylvester wanted me to come in as head cheerleader when I was a freshman but I didn't think it was a good idea, you know? I wanted to get to know the school and the cheerleaders more.

"My parents put me in gymnastics when I was 7 and right before I started middle school, I took up cheerleading. I've been doing it ever since."

"That's pretty cool. It's like me with singing. I've been singing for as long as I can remember."

"Tell me more about it, please?" She asks with a smile and carries some hair behind her ear.

I will tell her all she wants to hear. I sit up and mess with the cloth napkin on my lap, "I've won like, every competition I've ever participated in. Um, my dad Hiram put me in dance classes when I was 3 and my daddy Leroy thought he was crazy." I laugh thinking about the two. "But dad said I needed something to put all of my energy into! So I've been doing dance ever since. Singing just comes naturally. Both my fathers are great singers. My biological mother is too, but we hardly talk."

"Why don't you talk to her?"

I sigh, "She didn't want to take an interest in my life."

"It must've been hard. I don't know what I'd do without my mother."

I shrug, "whatever, you know? I still had two loving parents. But, your mom, do you guys get along?"

She smiles, "not so much when I'm at home, to be honest. But ever since I came to school here, I miss them a lot and understand a lot of the choices they've made, you know?"

I know. I appreciate my fathers a lot more after I left home. I've always wanted to live in New York but didn't understand how many sacrifices my parents had to make for me. "Yeah, totally. Do they ever visit you?"

"They usually come up for my birthday and for Nationals," she says.

I look down quickly and then at her, "do they know?"

"That I'm gay?" She asks with a charming smile, "Yes, they do. They weren't very fond of the idea at first but daddy has an older brother who's gay, so he tries to understand."

"I'd love to meet them." Her eyes widen a little, but then she smiles and agrees with a lip-biting grin. "Um, when's your birthday?"

"February 16."

"Two days after Valentine's day."

"Yes, in two weeks."

I decide to take a chance. I want her to be my valentine this year, and if everything works out, I want to meet her parents on her birthday. "So, do you already have any valentine's plans?"

"No, I don't." She admits, "I actually wasn't planning on… taking an interest in anyone. But, uh, I also wasn't expecting to meet you, so…" she trails off.

I giggle, "Is it too early for me to ask you if you'd like to be my valentine this year?"

"Um, okay, now I know your favorite color is red. I know your favorite musical is Les Mis; I know your birthday is in December. Favorite flowers are the gardenia, and favorite food is Italian." I nod to all of her assertions. "Okay, so tell me your favorite…" she thinks with a hand on her chin, "ooh! No! Tell me, like, a dream vacation."

"Alright. If I could choose any place to go, it'd probably be Ireland. Something about that place just calls to me. Now, your turn. Where would you go?"

"That's easy. Anywhere exotic, fun, and hot. The Caribbean, South America, Thailand, Hawaii – most definitely. Australia, Madagascar, and the Philippines."

I chuckle, "those are a lot of places."

"I suffer of wanderlust." She explains with a bright smile. Her attention gets stolen by Riley coming with our food.

"Here we go, ladies. Two orders of Lobster Mac and Cheese," says Riley. We look at each other with amused, confused faces and burst out laughing in the middle of the restaurant. The other patrons look at us with judging eyes but we don't care.

"We ordered the same thing for each other!" I point out, looking at mine and hers bowls of mac and cheese with five different kinds of cheese and lobster chunks.

She leans forward so we're out of Riley's hearing range and says with a whisper, "it looked like the safest option."

I laugh out loud, pulling my head up, "That was my reasoning too."

I wait for her to take the first bite to see if she likes it or if we should just get up and go find another place to eat. She takes the fork to her mouth and then hums with her eyes closed, fully tasting the bite. "Wow, this is amazing."

I take that as my cue and dig in as well, unable to contain my eyes from closing and a moan from escaping my mouth. "You're so right. This is so good."

"Good choice," she says to me.

"Thanks, you too," I retort.

She playfully sneers at me biting on the fork and then says, "I thought I was going to win this."

"You thought wrong, my friend."

We take a few bites in silence until she speaks, "what are your plans for the future, Rachel?"

I look at her and she's expecting an answer, chewing on her mac and cheese.

"Broadway." I say without an ounce of doubt. "The stage. The lights. The roles and the lines. The costumes and the music – everything about it."

"That's a pretty big dream," she muses. She licks her lips and then dabs at it with the napkin that had been resting on her lap before adding, "But you totally have the talent for it." It doesn't sound forced and it also doesn't sound like she's saying that just because. She says it so nonchalantly that I have to believe it.

"Thanks. How about you? Where do you see yourself in 'n' years?"

"In the future, I see myself traveling the world; learning new languages and cultures; meeting people who are completely different from me. Hopefully, I'll have my girlfriend, or fiancée, or wife by my side. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with my Anthropology major yet, but I figure what the hell, I've got a lifetime to figure it out."

"You just seem like the type of girl who would have everything planned out to the 'T,' you know?"

She laughs, "Yeah. I used to worry about it all the time. But, I don't know, I grew tired of it. Up until the summer before college, I thought I'd be going to Yale for like, law."

"Yale is an excellent school, Quinn!" I gush. "You must have some killer grades to be accepted there."

"Our school is pretty selective, too, Rachel."

"Yeah, but Yale! Yale is Ivy League stuff."

"But I'm glad I didn't go there." She says.

"Why not?" I ask, wondering.

She takes a second before replying, "I would've never met you otherwise now, would I?"

We're walking down 5th Avenue, hand in hand, on our way to the museum. We could've taken a taxi and it would've been a five minute drive, but Quinn wanted to walk. She wanted to feel the concrete under her feet and the smoke of the cars on her face. Her words, not mine. It was still cold but we were wrapped good in our coats and jackets, and staying close to one another helped.

We walk and make conversation about our childhoods. Quinn talks about her sister Frannie a lot. How they used to hang out in their tree house four hours on Sunday after church; how they used to fight over boys (Frannie is only two years older and Quinn always wanted the same boys she liked); how they rescued a bunny one time. She's adorable and listening to her talk about her childhood makes me wish I had been there and witnessed it.

It also makes me see that even though Quinn has grown up into a marvelous young lady she's still a child at heart and furthermore, not a lot of people get to witness that. Mostly because as head cheerleader she has to be focused and driven and others have to see her as an authoritative figure. But Quinn loves to dance and twirl and she loves colors and pretty and girly things like long skirts and wedges and flowers and cute animals and romantic destinations. I find myself liking her more and more. She doesn't even realize how truly beautiful she is because she's so humble even though she's accomplished so much.

Besides all of the trophies she's accumulate through cheerleading, Quinn has always been on the honor roll at school. Despite being terribly busy with cheer, she managed to keep a straight A's average through high school, earning a full ride to school here in New York with room and board covered. I mean, that's exceptional.

I end up telling her a little bit about my history with Finn. How he used to be a sweetheart and how he became bitter and just plain rude.

I'm about to tell her about Santana's outing when we arrive at the museum. It's one of New York's newest museums. The RMA has six stories of art to offer. The exterior has glass windows which allow us to see the inside. Nobody's in there because it's already way past 8, almost 9 and the museum closes at 6 p.m. on Saturday.

Quinn looks disappointed that we missed it open and I apologize. She smiles anyway and tells me it's alright. I excuse myself and text Santana. I get a reply quickly.

Santana: go ahead.

"Hey, how about we try anyway?"

"What?" she looks at me incredulously.

"Yeah. Come on!" I grab her by the hand and pull her toward the door. I glance back at her once before trying for it and the door gives in, opening without any trouble.

She looks worried. "Rachel!" she hisses and in all the time I've known her, I've never seen her look so pale and skeptical.

"What?" I ask innocently.

"What? What? How are we inside the RMA without it actually being open?" she asks, whispering harshly near my ear as I drag her behind me further into the museum.

We're found inside a great empty lobby except for a sculpture in front of the doors. I step down the few steps, landing us on the main floor. There are a few strategically placed lights on, to establish ambiance.

The floors are of a light wood and a spiral, modern-looking staircase is at the back. I turn to her with a confident smile, "we are not breaking the law." and then I call out, "Mr. Guerra?"

Quinn scans the room around us, trying to figure out what's happening. I hold on to her hand tight, trying to convey certainty.

A balding, Hispanic man wobbles down the stairs, pulling his tie up his neck. He is short with a goatee and mustache and a million dollar smile.

"Rachel!" he exclaims, pulling me away from Quinn and into a hug in one swift motion. She stands behind me and he wraps me up awkwardly in his arms and lifts me up in the bear hug. I'm being crushed by a small Mexican man, but I enjoy it. I love this dude.

"Mr. Guerra, you have to let me go if you want to meet... The girl I told you about." I push out of my mouth through a straining voice.

He lets go of me in an instant, turning his attention to the blushing but curious blonde behind us. He extends a hand and she grabs it confidently because handshakes are something she knows. "I'm Mr. Guerra. You must be Quinn." he says, staring her down with an approving look. He turns to me and says, "Dios Mio, Rachel. She is all that you said and more. Good job!"

"Right? Quinn, this is Mr. Guerra. He's the museum's director and he happens to be Santana's uncle. He's married to her mother's sister. I asked him if we could come here tonight for an hour after hours and he said it'd be no problem as long as he was here and we didn't touch any of the artwork."

She looks at me and realization dawns on her. Oh, this is legal after all. "Oh, hi!" she Grabs the hand she had let go and shakes it vehemently with both of hers, "thank you! Wow! This is an amazing gallery."

"Ah, well, we try." He says as nonchalant as he can be. "You girls go ahead and look around. I do have to leave in about an hour but have fun." He winks and disappears down a hallway, where I presume his office is.

I open my hand up to her and wait for her to take it, "Wanna look around?"

"Obviously!" She says, dumbfounded at what I've accomplished tonight. I'm pretty proud myself as well, not going to lie. I take us up to the first floor and we walk around slowly, looking at the art on the walls and on pedestals. I let her walk ahead of me, deciding which way she wants to go next; which painting to appreciate; which sculpture to marvel. And she does all of that alright. She drags me from one corner of the room to the other side. She makes us run up the stairs, and then she talks about which one she likes best from this room opposite to that other room.

I'm perfectly fine just watching her talk about art and other cultures as passionately as she does. She looks at me with round, bright eyes and tells me facts I didn't know and I'm sure other people don't as well, but she does. She knows them all and she doesn't even realize how amazing that is.

Being in this museum practically alone – if you ignore Mr. Guerra (and the janitor, currently cleaning the last floor) – at night is somewhat magical. There is an underlying mystique to the art found here tonight, and being able to share this with Quinn is truly special.

We're on the fourth floor, staring at an incredibly large painting of Buddha. Well, more like she's staring at it with a pensive expression and I'm staring at her, contemplating the finest art I've seen in this museum so far. "I'm so lucky to be here with you tonight." I whisper to the air around us.

Her face snaps to me, warm and glorious. Her eyes are gleaming but what's new, right? "Oh, Rachel. You don't know how lucky I am." She completely turns away from the painting toward me. She stands a little bit taller so my head automatically cranks upward so our eyes can meet. We just stare at each other for a good ten seconds; they're long and stretched, but I take advantage of every one I get to just be near her. My life at the moment feels like a really good dream and I hope that I'm not awakened by an angry Santana any time soon, snapping me out of it. I intertwine our fingers for the first time right here, and she instantly looks at our hands, to watch it happen. Her smile grows as our hands clasp tighter.

"We have to go," I announce.

"Okay," She says and looks at the painting one last time, before smiling back at me with excited eyes and a crinkled nose. "Lead the way."

We take the elevator downstairs and when we get to the first floor, Mr. Guerra is coming out of his office. "You girls have fun?" He asks, already pulling the green and gold tie off his neck.

"Absolutely!" Quinn almost yells, "Everything here is so beautiful. I'm so overwhelmed by it. Thank you so so so so so much." She lets go off my hand briefly to gesticulate how grandiose everything is but then her hand finds mine again as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

Mr. Guerra smiles, "I'm glad you liked it."

"Thank you, Mr. Guerra. Seriously, you've been nothing short of amazing tonight." I step into his arms and hug him. "I'll see you at the barbeque in March?" I ask him, with a half-smirk.

"Definitely, Rach." He nods and walks us out. We all step into the chaos of New York's streets and he adds, "Please, tell your fathers I said hello. And tell Santana to come see me sometime this semester!"

"Of course. And you tell Mrs. Guerra I'm expecting some puposas at the barbeque."

He winks at me, "she'll be more than happy to make them for you." He turns to Quinn and concludes our conversation, "It was nice to meet you again, Quinn. This girl is a good one, I promise." He shakes her hand and leaves, walking South.

We walk the opposite direction to hail a taxi back to school. "He's nice." Quinn comments.

"He's awesome. I met him at the first Lopez-Guerra barbeque two spring breaks ago, our senior year spring break. He told me then that he worked here and that I could come whenever. Santana is like, his favorite niece, and he and his wife were outraged to find out what happened to her at school but they loved me as soon as they heard what I did."

"That's right; you never really told me what happened." She says as she signs for a cab to stop. He screeches to a halt right in front of us and I open the door. We both get in and I tell him to take us back to our school's campus.

I smile sadly because that's not really something that I want to talk about during our first date. "I'll tell you soon, I promise."

"I'll hold you up to that, Berry." She says in a faux stern voice.

"No problem," I assure her. "So, tell me and spare no horrid details, please, but did you have fun tonight?" I glance down to where our hands sit tangled. I caress the back of her hand with my thumb and look back up at her with wonder.

She leans back into the seat's cushion, "Yes. Everything was perfect."

"Great! Tell me which one was your favorite at the museum tonight?"

"That I can do."

"What's your favorite band?" I ask her when the taxi is turning into campus.

She thinks for a minute, "Noah and the Whale."

"I think I heard many of their songs on your iPod. My favorite I think was... Uh, My Chance?"

"waiting for my chance to come," she corrects me giggling.

"Yes! that one!"

"I love that one but my favorite is Five Years Time!"

"I can't remember that one," I say trying to come up with lyrics or music but I draw a blank.

She looks at me with disapproving (but still smiling) eyes and sings.

Oh well in five years' time we could be walking round a zoo

With the sun shining down over me and you

And there'll be love in the bodies of the elephants too

And I'll put my hands over your eyes, but you'll peep through

And there'll be sun sun sun

All over our bodies

And sun sun sun All down our necks

And sun sun sun

All over our faces

And sun sun sun

So what the heck.

Her voice is great! It's soft but it's a tremulous alto that makes me want to wrap myself in sheets and let her sing all day long, and that's coming from me who'd rather sing than listen most times. The entire time she's singing she has a giddy attitude and gesturing all the words like '5' with her left hand spread open, and 'zoo' with an arm in front of her nose dangling it dangerously like an elephant. I laugh at her antics but remember the song and yeah, that sounds about right.

The taxi actually drops us off right in front of her dorm and after paying him, we both make our way inside the lobby and up the stairs. We still haven't let our hands go but I don't want to. I want I all to myself always. The more time I spend with her, the less time I want to be apart from her.

We hover in front of her room and wait for a couple of girls to pass on their way downstairs.

"I had a really great time, Rachel." She says, and steps forward, wrapping her arms around my waist.

I wrap mine around her neck and we hug, "me, too. The best time." I squeeze her tighter and smell that delicious scent that follows her around up closely.

We let go and she says, "Thank you. Everything was amazing."

"You're amazing." I say and then peck her slowly but firm on her cheek.

Her head drops down when she feels my cold lips on her cheek and she sighs contently. "Good night, then." I don't want to kiss kiss her yet because I want her to know I like her and respect her and I want to take this slow; for her to set the pace.

"Good night," I whisper in her ear and leave, already dreaming of our next date. "I'll call you tomorrow." I tell her as I start to walk away. I walk a few steps then turn around to watch her watch me leave. When I reach the stairs, I hear the door unlock, open and shut. And I float back to my dorm.

I twirl into my room, flopping down on Santana's lap with my legs dangling to the side while she's using her computer at her desk. She looks like she's working on something extremely important for a class but she stops it anyway and holds me by the waist. "Berry," she says with a laughing voice. She's in a good mood. She's happy for me.

"It. Was. Awesome." I tell her, accentuating each word. "She is damn awesome." I squeal and hug her, wrapping my arms around her and she hugs me back. When the embrace is over, I stay seated on her lap and say, "I really like this girl. Like, a lot."

"I know. Do you have actual news or-?" She asks and then laughs when I slap her shoulder.

"You know what I mean!"

"You're whipped as fuck already and you just started hanging out hanging out." She says, laughing louder and trying to open her laptop back up around me as a joke. She wants to seem like she doesn't care about how the date went because she knows it'll upset me and I'll want to gush about it for days.

"San!" I whine. She huffs and tosses her behind her shoulders.

"Fine. Sorry. So, did you want to tell me about the date?" She taps on my butt lightly so I can get up and I do with a pout. "Tell me while you change. Your jeans are really uncomfortable rubbing up on my bare thighs." She caresses her tanned thighs where I can see red streaks where the back pockets of my jeans marked her; the shorts she's wearing are definitely short shorts.

"Sorry 'bout that," I say pointing to it. She just shrugs.

I walk over to my dresser and pick my grey sweats with the school logo on it and a tank top. I take off my bra and put up my hair in a ponytail and then sit on the floor with my back to the dresser, sitting perpendicular to her desk, "You know how the stars are freaking amazing?"


	8. Dancing in the Moonlight (Toploader)

My face is probably super red because halfway after I started singing the lyrics to Noah and the Whale's Five Years' Time I remember who I'm singing to. She tells me I'm great anyway but it's hard to believe it. I thank her as the cab screeches to a stop in front of my dorm. She walks me back to my room, our hands clasped over each other's.

We're standing in front of my room and neither of us talks. We just look at each other as some girls pass by us.

"I had a really great time, Rachel." I say and don't hesitate to hug her. My hands fall to wrap around her back and she hugs me back. I feel the weight of her arms on the back of my neck.

"Me, too. The best time." I feel her pull tighter.

I say, "Thank you. Everything was amazing," as we're letting of each other, sadly. Her body felt so good pressed up against me.

She gets on her tippy toes to kiss my cheek, "You're amazing." I close my eyes and drop my head. Her lips are cold but they are gentle but still firm. I sigh when her lips part from me. I want to kiss her so badly but I can't yet. I want us to go about this right, and her ending the date with a sweet peck on the cheek actually makes me swoon just a little bit more.

"Good night, then," I say, disappointed but yet happy that she's respectful enough not to kiss me yet. To me, it shows that she's truly involved in this thing we've got going and she respects me as a person. I'm only disappointed because I actually can't wait to kiss her full lips dead on.

"Good night," she whispers in my ear before stepping away from me. "I'll call you tomorrow." Those words are sweet to my ear. I watch her leave, not so happy to do so. I just want to be around her all the time, but that'd suffocate her. When she's out of my line of sight, I unlock the door and get in the room.

Mary is here. She's sitting on her bed, reading a book with headphones in. "Hey," she says to me when I come in. She takes off the right headphone and sits up. "How was the date?" She wiggles her eyebrows excited to hear about my evening out with Rachel.

I pull my boots off and drop myself on my chair, "it was amazing!" My hands shoot up in the air and I get up too excited to even sit while I tell her about it. "She was perfect. Everything was perfect. From the restaurant to the museum – that she managed for us to look around in after hours –and the chaste kiss on my cheek," I touch my right cheek reverently, where her lips kissed me.

"You look radiant," Mary says and smiles at me. For the first time I look at her. The entire time I had been talking I had been re-living the date but when she says that I make eye contact.

"Thanks! I guess – Rachel, she just does this to me!"

"You really like her," she comments and I nod. "Well, I'm glad you had a good date! We should all hang out sometime."

I like the suggestion. It'll give Mary and Rachel a chance to get to know each other – heck! It will give me an opportunity to hang out with Mary. Maybe I'll invite Brittany and Rachel can bring Santana. "Yeah! That sounds like a lot of fun. I'll ask her tomorrow when she calls me!" I squeal the end of the sentence when I remember Rachel's calling. She has called me before and I have called her but just the thought of listening to her talk, of hearing her voice, is enough to have me giggling like a child with a bucket of ice cream. "Gosh – I'm so sorry. I'm being super girly and annoying right now."

"Dude, no worries." She assures me but she's already back to reading so I go ahead with changing out of my clothes into comfy pajamas and settle in front of the computer to try to pass the time. I want to text her so bad but I don't know if that's acceptable. My legs are bouncing up and down, my fingers and hitting the keyboard rhythmically, and my insides are completely torn at deciding if I should or not text her. "Go ahead," Mary says after about three minutes of silence except for my drumming.

"Huh?" I turn around confused, to face her and she's looking at me with a smirk. "Go ahead with what?"

"Text her. Call her. Whatever. You know you want to," she says without even looking up from her book.

A huge smile appears on my face. I do want to talk to her. It's like Mary can read my mind! "Okay." I whisper to myself.

Quinn: I had an amazing time. I can't say it enough.

Rachel replies almost instantly.

Rachel: I did, too. I can't wait to see you again.

Quinn: Can I see you tomorrow?

Rachel: I'm so glad you asked. Yes! I'll be free at around 3 PM.

Quinn: Awesome! My roomie thinks it's a good idea if we all hang out. What do you think?

Rachel: Sounds like fun! I'll ask San and the Wonder Twins if they want to come. You should invite Britt and Mike. (:

Quinn: Great!

It's nearly three in the afternoon on Sunday and Britt and I are walking to the Commons area in the Student Union. We told everyone else – Rachel and Santana, Kurt and Blaine, and my roommate Mary and her boyfriend Jake to meet us there. Mike actually couldn't come because he had to practice some dance duet with a girl from one of his classes.

"So the date was good then?" Britt asks when we sit at one of the tables they have here. The place is practically empty, with only a few students studying a few feet away from us by the statue in the middle of the room.

"Oh my God – yes. It was great. She took me to this restaurant that had an amazing view. We ordered for each other and we ended up getting the same thing." I laugh as I remember and Britt's smile is wide. "We talked some and found out things about each other we didn't already know. After the restaurant, she took me to a museum where her roommate's and best friend's uncle is the director of. It was amazing. It was already closed so it was only us in there. Pretty magickal if you asked me."

"Magickal with or without a 'k'?" Britt asks. She smiles behind me at someone and waves. I turn around and see Rachel and Kurt and Blaine coming our way.

I bite my lip to try to contain my smile from breaking my face but it doesn't work. She's smiling, too, and so are the boyfriends. I only turn to Britt again to say, "Definitely with the 'k.' I mean, do you see her?" I get up as I finish talking, to stand face to face with Rachel. "Hey," I greet her and move in for a hug.

"Hi," she whispers into my ear and it sends shivers down my body. Then we step away from each other and hug our friends. My eyes keep going back to her as I say hello to Kurt and then Blaine.

"Where's Santana?" I ask.

"She's coming straight from the library. She's been studying like crazy today. She has an exam tomorrow." Kurt offers.

I motion for them all to sit on the chairs around the small round table, and surprisingly we can all fit around it. "Okay, well, we'll wait for her and Mary." I say already leaning into Rachel's personal space to talk to her quietly while the others chatter. She turns just enough to be facing me and I put an arm around the back of her chair. "I could barely sleep last night thinking about our date."

"I know. I'm already planning our next one." She says with a smug smile.

We're interrupted by Santana loudly walking up to our table, complaining of a back ache from sitting all day. "We better do something that doesn't involve any sitting, Berry." She snarls at Rachel.

Rachel defends herself with a, "hey! I'm not planning this. It's Quinn." She points at me and I act surprised and offended but smile anyway.

"Um, well, I was thinking we could go ice skating?" I ask and tell them at the same time. They all nod in agreement, even Santana. She drops her bag on top of Rachel's lap and pulls a chair from a table near us.

She straddles it and looks around the table, "Okay, so I know everyone here except for you," she says and looks right at Britt. She's actually genuinely smile. Her entire complexion changed from annoyed to elated.

"Brittany," my best friend says to Santana, extending her hand for a polite handshake. They shake hands and then she asks, "And you must be Santana, Rachel's best friend and roommate, if I'm correct."

Santana looks at me and Rachel then back to Brittany, "You are."

Kurt speaks next, "I can't believe you two have never met before… I'm always with one of you." He points at each girl and then shrugs. "My bad. I have a feeling you guys will really get along."

"Yeah, I can't believe it either." Rachel agrees, also realizing this. She also sees the look in Santana's eyes. She looks ready to pounce on Brittany.

"So is Mary coming?" Blaine redirects the conversation, looking at me.

"I think so? We talked this morning and she said she'd be meeting us here at 3."

"It's 3:10," Santana supplies.

"You were late as well," Rachel points out. Santana growls, crosses her arms and starts talking to Kurt and Blaine.

"I'll call her," I say, pulling out my phone and standing up. I walk a few feet away from the table as I dial her number. She picks up as soon as I call and she sounds frantic.

"Hi, Quinn! I'm sorry! I don't think I'll make it, but you guys go without me." She says.

I only have time to nod (even though she can't see) and hum in understanding but then she hangs up. I walk back to the table, "she says for us to go ahead without her."

I haven't ice skated in a long time, to be honest but 10 minutes in and I'm doing pretty good for myself. We automatically pair off – Kurt and Blaine, obviously; Rachel and I, and Santana and Brittany. They seem to be having a great time. Every time I look their way, Santana is throwing her head back in laughter and Britt is looking at her with an amused expression.

Brittany is probably the best skater out of all of us, and she keeps doing twirls and jumps and skating backwards. Rachel is the second best but she doesn't try to compete with Brittany at this, she's just been by my side the entire time, holding my hand or my arm to try to keep me up and keep me from falling over.

I fall twice but I don't hurt myself and Santana laughs at me, which earns her a glower from Rachel. Santana shuts up and keeps skating past us with Brittany, trying to catch up to Kurt and Blaine who are singing Bonjour from the Beauty and the Beast and dancing around little kids.

We all agree that it's time to eat at around 5 PM when our feet can't take it anymore; I can feel the blisters forming on my little toe and under my feet.

There's a small, quaint, Italian pizzeria not even a block from here. We all walk there and Rachel and I have more of a chance to talk since we are still paired off.

"Does this count as another date?" She asks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

I laugh and loop my right arm with her left. "Of course. If you want it to."

"I do very much." She says and pulls me closer.

"So how was your day today?"

"It was okay. I have a paper due for World Civ on Tuesday so I got started on that before meeting up with everyone. Besides that I worked out."

Rachel Berry works out. How very hot. It makes me wonder about her abs and toned legs and arms. I remember that day when I went over and helped her when she was sick. I remember her coming out of the shower and I can't help but lick my lips at the thought. A sudden heat surges through my body and pools between my legs. I clear my throat. "You take dance classes and still work out on top of that?"

She nods, "It's sort of my other relaxer, besides music. Which reminds me, when do you want your iPod back?" She smiles a little sadly before adding, "I love listening to your music but I feel like I'm keeping it away from you for far too long."

I feel the same about having hers too, "Whenever you feel like giving it back you can."

"Then you'll never get it back," she jokes and giggles. "I feel close to you when I'm listening to your music and you're not there."

I'm definitely relieved at hearing this because I feel the same, "That's good." I wink subtly and hold the door open for her as she walks inside the restaurant. She grabs my hand when we walk in and leads us to the table the host is taking us. It's like we've forgotten there are four other people with us because all I can feel and see is Rachel.

We sit next to each other, across from the Wonder Twins and Brittany and Santana sit across from each other. The table is a square but we all manage to fit and be comfortable. There is a red and white checkered towel thrown on top of the table and the walls are lined with pictures of the Italian countryside. The lights are dimmed and the place feels very homey.

Rachel leans in to speak closer to my ear with her arm behind my shoulder, "Do you know what you want to eat?"

You. That's my first thought, but I ignore it and smile and say instead, "Cheese pizza sounds great."

A waiter comes by our table and takes everyone orders. When the food arrives, we all eat and laugh and joke; Rachel and I talk in whispers, keeping most of our comments to each other private. The boys across the table smile at us when they catch us doing this. Santana pretends to gag and Britt claps excitedly. Every time.

For the next couple of weeks, Rachel and I hang out a lot. She usually calls me after my last class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I come over, usually with food. Most of the time we watch a movie, cuddled on top of her bed and she always gives me a peck on the cheek and a hug as way of saying goodbye. I'm getting so tired of the waiting for the kiss now, though. I gave her two weeks to make a move and she still hasn't and I don't know why. I know she likes me, and I really like her. Sometimes (every night) I catch myself thinking about her before going to sleep and I have to contain myself not to touch myself.

I do think it's endearing that she does that though, don't get me wrong. She's so sweet and so adorable to me. She's always calling and texting, concerned about my day or how my test was. She will ask if I need food or anything throughout the day sometimes, and she'll often send me a song that she listened to on my iPod that she really likes. I send her new songs to listen to almost every time we text, which is becoming pretty constant. We are rarely not on the phone – texting or calling.

Wednesdays we meet at The Lounge and eat together whatever food they have with our friends. It is the Wednesday before Valentine 's Day and Rachel and I are sitting at one of the tables off to the side of the main entrance of the building. They are serving grilled cheese today and after getting our plates of food and sitting, we start talking. Somehow we get to the topic of Santana.

She sighs, thinking about the memory, I suppose. "Damn." She says, "It was horrible." She shakes her head and I can see her thinking about the day and what happened. "Finn had a bruised ego because Santana's glee club was doing better than ours at the time. She had quit because according to her, she never got enough solos and at the time my mother," she clears her throat and I make a mental note to approach the topic on her mother again later, "was starting a new club at our school because of a spoiled little brat called Sugar. So Santana left us and was a big hit for Shelby's Trouble Tones. I mean, you heard Santana – the girl is good. She's brilliant. And she's gorgeous and can command anyone's attention while she's on stage. But, Santana being who she is, would always take it a bit further and trash Finn whenever she got the chance. Maybe she was just kidding half the time, but he got fed up one day and snapped at her in the middle of the hallway, in between classes.

"I was coming out of the cafeteria and saw the crowd gathering in front of the Home Ec classroom. I heard Finn shouting and at the time we were dating," she visually cringes at that particular detail and keeps talking, playing with my hand, "so I walk up to them and I see Santana's eyes are teary and red and Finn's face is almost purple, his neck veins look like they're trying to escape. He was just going off on her and I caught him saying, 'You're just a bitch all the time because you're in love with her and she doesn't love you back! You're a disgusting lesbian and you only sleep with guys because you want to prove to everyone else you're straight!'"

She stays silent for a minute, composing herself because even though it wasn't her, I can tell she feels for Santana. I do what I can not to show how upset this story is already making me. Santana and I are much more civilized toward each other now that I'm always around Rachel, and I'd even say we are friends.

She keeps talking, "I, I couldn't even look at Finn. I had my head hung low, and only felt Santana running down the hallway and opening the door to the choir room. I stood there, feeling like I needed to do something. My parents, Quinn, my fathers are gay. But they are still human and they love each other and love me and it's real. It's not disgusting." I encourage her to keep talking by running a hand up and down her arm when I see her choke on her words. "Well, I wanted to murder him but Santana –fuck, I just knew she was breaking down. I ran after her, pushing people out of my way, until I walked into the choir room and saw her lying next to the piano, a waterfall of tears smearing her makeup. I didn't ask, I didn't say anything, I just sat next to her and scooped her up, and for the first time ever, Santana cried on my shoulder. Before that day, she hardly ever spoke to me if it wasn't to insult me, much like everybody else, but that day, she let me be there for her. She cried and cried and cried and I held her. Her sobs shook both our bodies violently at times. I tried to comfort her by running my hands over her back, through her hair, cleaning her tears, caressing her face, but all she did was cry.

I want to cry. I desperately want to cry. There's a weight on top of my lungs and it's slowly pushing all air out. She doesn't stop even though she talks with teary eyes and a weak voice, "I took her home. I explained what happened to her parents who wouldn't let me go without telling them. I helped her get out of her Cheerios uniform and into the shower. I helped her put on new clothes and I tucked her in. Her parents tried to get her to talk and eat but she wouldn't, and she wouldn't let go of my hand either. She still wouldn't look at anyone in the eye, but she wouldn't let go of me." I feel a tear run down my cheek and it then registers I hadn't noticed I began to cry. "I stayed over that night. And I stayed over every night for a week. And our friendship started to deepen. I broke up with Finn that night though. That night while she slept curled into me, I texted him and told him I could never be with him, love him, or respect him after what he did.

"Obviously he apologized tremendously to both her and I but something like that is irreparable. How am I supposed to trust someone like that? And how do I stay with a known homophobe when many of my family and friends are homosexuals? I mean, his freaking step-brother, for goodness' sakes! When Kurt found out he almost killed Finn, too. He told his father, who told Finn's mother, and they all talked about it and grounded him for a while, took away his car, his phone, his Football privileges. How does that even compare to the loss and betrayal Santana felt?

"Does his hurt ego compare? You know? I understand he was hurt but it's not the same situation at all. And the girl. The girl Santana was in love with completely ignored her for the rest of the year." Her smile is bitter when she remembers the girl. As for me, I just shake my head. I don't know how to process this without judging that girl and Finn. "I just wish… she had talked to Santana about it. But no. And all the other cheerleaders fucking teased her every day. They said they wouldn't change in front of her in the locker room anymore. They called us girlfriends. It was ridiculous." She shakes her head, "So, that's what happened."

For a while, I'm quiet. We can finally hear the chatter of students around us, eating their food and casually talking. I forgot about food. Apparently so did Rachel. I look up use the palm of my hand to dry my eyes, "shit." It's not a lot, but I think she understand what I mean. She nods I just hold her hand.

"Yeah," she releases a shaky breath, "shit."

I have decided that Santana and I will be good friends. I don't pity her exactly, but I feel like she needs people in her life she can learn to trust and she'll know will be there for her. I hear a knock on my door and then hear Britt's voice coming from outside, "Q! You there?"

She sounds a little upset, and it happens so rarely that I bolt to my door, opening it wide and catching a crying Brittany in my arms.

"What happened?" I ask her in a soothing voice, trying not to sound as desperate as I feel inside.

"Mike and I are over, I think." She says.

I sag, pulling her with me to my bed and holding her while she cries until she feels like she can explain. Five minutes later she starts telling me what happened, "I was a little dumb this week, Q. I really liked him but Santana was so sweet to me and we've been hanging out… and we sort of slept together." She admits, struggling to get the words out.

"What?"

"She said it wasn't cheating because the plumbing was different but Mike got really upset when he found out."

Different plumb – Santana! Just as I'm trying to like her and consider her as a friend she goes and does something like this. It's almost like taking advantage of Britt because she can be so naïve sometimes. I try not to hate on her so much because of what Rachel told me but I can't help to seethe a little and silently cuss her in my head. I control my emotions and try to think of Britt and how she's feeling, "How are you? And what are you going to do?"

"I mean, I'm actually not so sad about breaking up with Mike because we were more like really good friends, but I'm sad because I hurt his feelings and how angry he got when I told him about Santana."

"Fuck. And as for what you're going to do… do you have any idea?"

"I apologized to him already. I just feel so awful." She sobs once again and I have us lay down. She places her head on my chest and I cradle her like a child. "I didn't mean for it to turn out like this."

"I know," I say, and shush her as gently as I can to see if she'll calm down.

Her voice is soft when she admits, "I like her."

"It's okay to like her."

"Santana Lopez!" I grab her by the wrist as she tries to get away from me after Economics. She whirls around, her hair flying everywhere.

Irritated, she sighs and looks at me, freeing her hand, "what?"

"Don't play that game with me. You know what."

She stares me down, sizing me up. "I think it's the first time I've ever seen you like this. So… head cheerleader like."

So maybe I am wearing my uniform today but that's because we have a game later tonight and we have to wear uniforms on game days – everyone knows that. My hand is on my hip and my hip is cocked to the side. I know I am glaring though; I've perfected this glare on many girls on my squad and others. "How could you do something like that? She was happy with her boyfriend and you took advantage of how innocent she is!" I snap at her.

"No, I didn't!" she snaps right back. At this point, there are people gathering around us, stopping to listen to the fight and try to understand what's going on. Santana looks at them with a deathly look and a lot of people part, afraid of her. She lowers her voice and says, "Look, before we… did it I asked her again if she'd be okay with it."

"She thought the plumbing didn't matter!" I snarl.

Santana almost smiles at this but then remembers what's happening and starts walking down the hallway. I follow after her. "Look, I know I fucked up, okay? Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Santana," I stop her with a hand to her shoulder. She stops walking and sighs, not looking at me. I walk to stand in front of her and lift her chin to look me in the eyes, "Brittany is a great girl. She's beautiful and funny and loyal and naïve. That being said she really likes you. Just – don't break her heart. And don't be stupid anymore."

She smiles, even though I can tell she's trying to suppress it, "I'll apologize to her."

"I still can't believe you went after Santana." Rachel comments as we're making our way to the date she has planned for Valentine's Day. It's a Tuesday and even though Rachel and I talk almost every day, we haven't been able to talk about it in person. The end of last week got pretty hectic for me, and Rachel's weekend was filled with auditions in town.

"I was just so shocked about what Britt told me." Our hands are intertwined, as it should always be. With the other hand, I pull my coat's collar closer to each other, to keep my neck warm. "What did Santana tell you happened?"

"God- she broke down the moment she came home after they hooked up. She felt awful. And then she cried again when she told me you talked to her."

"Did I step out of line?" I ask tentatively. "I was just watching out for Britt."

She shakes her head, "no. I would've done the same had the situation been reversed. She even acknowledged that herself."

"Well," I say trying to lighten up the mood, "they're going on their first actual date today so that's good, right?"

"It's great." Rachel smiles. "Okay, we're here! Be prepared to be awed!"

I laugh, "okay."

Rachel is standing in front of a great, iron-wrought gate in the middle of this quaint, residential neighborhood. There are trees on the other side and their branches and leaves sort of create a passageway further into this place. I tilt my head, look at Rachel, and wait for her to say something with a raised eyebrow.

"Come on." She wraps my hand in hers again and pushes the gate open. She steps on something to her left, which I assume is a button, and then lights turn on. It's just now turning dark, so the sunset in the background and the lights on create a beautiful atmosphere around us. My mouth hangs open. I am in awe.

After the trees clear out, there is only a table and two chairs in the center of a garden. It's so beautiful. There are more lights and lanterns and candles on the table and by the brick wall separating this garden from whatever is on the other side. She has thrown paper hearts on top of the set table and hung more from the lights streaming above our heads. I can hear faint music playing and it sounds like Ella Fitzgerald or something like that. Suddenly, I feel so overwhelmed, I have to pull her in for a hug. My eyes are glistening. "I love this." She's always surprising and thoughtful and creative and perfect with planning our dates. I'll have such a hard time when it's my turn – which should be soon. She just had insisted she planned this one, so I let her.

"I'm glad you do. I skipped my classes this morning to get this ready." She gestures around us with a hand, "Um, I thought cooking food would be a hassle to keep warm here, so instead I ordered pizza before we left campus. I hope that's okay with you.

I smile, transfixed and out of words. Of course she did. It's perfect. For some reason it's perfect even though it's just a pizza. Then leans forward and plants a kiss on my forehead.

Instead of moving away instantly though, she just lingers there. Then I step forward and pull her tighter, closer, infinitely nearer with an arm around her shoulder. Her head falls and our foreheads are now touching each other's. There is only the sound coming from the CD player playing from the wall. Our breathing begins to intensify, and my eyes close automatically. I feel her thumb graze my cheekbone; I tremble under it. My hand finds her hand again, and I grab it. "I really want to kiss you," she says.

I just nod. I don't know how words work at the moment. I'm so intoxicated in her presence. She shifts a little bit, but still keeps her hand on my cheek and her forehead to mine.

"I don't want to rush anything, but I've been thinking about this moment since we first met." She starts rambling, holding our position. "I've been meaning to since our first date but I didn't want to rush anything. I was trying to respect you but honestly, I just really want to kiss you." I finally understand why she never kissed me before. She was waiting for me. And here I was waiting for her. I nod again, letting her know I get it and that it's okay, and that it just makes our first Valentine's Day together that much more important. I hope she got that from my nod.

I gulp loudly and then my brain starts to make words, "I –" I open my eyes briefly and look at her from this new point of view, and man, she looks gorgeous as always. "Stunning." I say and bring up the hand that was holding hers just a second ago to cradle her face. She opens her eyes and we stare at each other in the proximity. The song ends and another one starts playing. There is a soft guitar plucking and a man's voice. All These Things. That's one of my songs; the other song had been one of mine too – she burned a CD of songs from my iPod. I giggle and she understands I notice and smiles at me. "I like this song." I say, still in the reverie of the moment.

"Mmhm," she hums, nodding against my forehead. "Maybe it's her touch / the feel of her hands." She places her free hand on top of mine that's resting on her cheek and hums along the next line before placing another kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes and she starts singing again. "Maybe it's her eyes – gently searching my soul." At this I open my eyes again and she's looking at me with the tenderest look and we exchange smiles. "Still nothing stirs me like when I see those lips roll / and I see her smile / Cause I love to see her smile back at me…" She stops singing and we stand there. The song ends and there's a second of silence.

I lean in and our lips touch; there is no sound but the breaths that we share. Our lips are just touching for a second and then it stretches into two seconds, three seconds, four seconds. She finally snaps into action and deepens the kiss by tilting her head to the side. One of her hands is still on my cheek; the other is still on top of mine on hers. I can feel her face get warmer and warmer. My arm pulls her closer. I barely register the other song has started playing. Her hands move for the first time and they're both at the back of my neck. It's then that she licks my bottom lip. Then my top lip. They curl into a smile, pressed up against her mouth. I open my mouth slightly and let her tongue in my mouth. And it's like fireworks! She gently sucks on my top lip and then lets it go. I lean in and peck her. She pecks me. And then we are just standing there. I keep my eyes closed. Her cheek is pressed up against mine and she kisses me on the cheek right where I feel her warm breath hit. She whispers, "that was… unbelievable."

I nod, "I know. I was there." We giggle together and then I open my eyes and pull away only enough to look her in the eyes.

The sun has completely set and it's dark out. I can see the full moon brightly witnessing our first kiss. I sigh, content at the moment. She looks up at the moon, as well and then beams. "Perfect timing."

The next track starts playing and a laugh bursts out of me. "You didn't!"

"I did!" She admits, proud of herself. "Dance with me?" She asks already reaching for my right hand.

"Of course. This has always been a fantasy of mine." I admit timidly. My left hand goes to her waist and hers comes up to my shoulder. "Dancing to this song under the moonlight."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Quinn." She says and smiles. Her eyes dart to my smile and then back up to my eyes. There is pure joy in her eyes. I lick my lips and she leans forward, boldly kissing me again.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Rachel." I mumble before our lips part and then twirl her away from me and then close; she laughs unabashedly and I laugh because I can't not laugh when I'm with her.

_Dancing in the moonlight  
Everybody's feeling warm and bright  
It's such a fine and natural sight  
Everybody's dancing in the moonlight_

_We like our fun and we never fight  
You can't dance and stay uptight  
Its a supernatural delight  
Everybody was dancing in the moonlight_


	9. My Girl (The Temptations)

"Maybe it's her touch / the feel of her hands." This moment is incredibly overwhelming to me. I can't contain the elation I feel by placing my hand on top of the one she has on my cheek. I lean forward and kiss her forehead and she closes her eyes but I'm not yet ready to see them go, so I sing along the next lines. "Maybe it's her eyes – gently searching my soul." I smile and she smiles back and it's so perfect. "Still nothing stirs me like when I see those lips roll / and I see her smile / Cause I love to see her smile back at me…" My entire soul stirs when she does so, showing her perfect white teeth and the lips curling up. It sends a rush of adrenaline throughout my body to know she's smiling at me because she's also happy to be here. We stand there and there's a second of silence. The kiss will happen, I just know it but she has to make the first move and she does.

She leans in and our lips touch. We share the same air. I finally start taking control of the kiss and deepen it by pulling her closer and tilting my head; she pulls me closer as well, inhaling deeply. I cradle her neck with both hands and lick her bottom lip and the top lip; it tastes like mint chapstick. I smile and she opens her mouth to allow my tongue entrance. I feel her shudder when I suck on her lip. My insides are on fire. She licks the top of my mouth, the side of my lips, and then takes a nibble of my bottom lip. I'm incredibly turned on and so very aware of what's between my legs. I then peck her once our kiss ends, and she pecks me back. Our cheeks are pressed together and I whisper, "That was unbelievable," because I can't think of any other way to describe it. Her kiss stole my words away and I'm usually so verbose. It kind of made it worth waiting for it for so long.

"I know; I was there." She says and we giggle.

She leans away just a tad to look me in the eyes. The next song starts and I immediately look up, searching the moon to see if tonight is really a full moon night. "Perfect timing," I say and she sighs contently.

"You didn't!" She laughs loudly.

"I did! Dance with me?" I extend my hand and wait for her to grab it. There's no one else and nowhere else I'd rather be than right here, dancing to this song with the girl of my dreams, whom I plan on making mine tonight. Sure, we've been hanging out all the time and there is sort of an unspoken thing between us – a tether if you will, where I am so attracted to her (not only her looks but her personality) and I feel like we're already in a relationship; we're just waiting for the right moment to label it.

"Of course. This has always been a fantasy of mine." I wonder what she's thinking at the moment as she places her left hand on my waist and I put mine on her shoulder "Dancing to this song under the moonlight." The night around us is magical, enveloping us in a surreal world where only she and I exist and I wouldn't have it any other way. Tonight's the night I ask her to be my girlfriend. It's perfect because her parents are coming down for her birthday on Thursday and I want to be introduced as such, not just as a 'friend.'

"Happy Valentine's Day, Quinn." I say and smile. I'm hoping today is not the last one we spend together. I look at her smile and want to kiss her. I look at her eyes, and she licks her lips so I take it as a sign that I can and should kiss her. I do.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Rachel." She twirls me away even before our kiss is properly over and I laugh. She laughs along and pulls me closer. This song is fun and romantic. We dance to it until it switches to another and another.

I almost forgot I ordered food until my phone rings and I have to pull myself away from Quinn, even though she feigns that she won't let me go. I struggle to reach for my phone as she wraps her arms around my waist but I manage to grab it from the top of the table. "It's the pizza guy, he's probably here." I had to tell him to call me when he reached this address so I could go meet him outside.

I answer the phone and he speaks first, "Is this Rachel Berry?"

"Yeah," I laugh when Quinn attacks my face with kisses trying to distract me from the phone call.

"Um, I'm here at the location you told me and there's only an iron gate so –"

"I'm coming!" I interrupt him before her finishes explaining himself. I shut the phone and kiss Quinn back with passion. "I have to go grab the pizza," I say while we're still kissing. She shakes her head in the negative.

"Not hungry. I could do this all night long." Her hands travel up my back and I squirm because she's everywhere and I love it. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, "Let him wait for a second longer."

I push the poor delivery boy to the back of my head and indulge in kissing this amazing girl in front of me, until my phone starts ringing again.

She pushes me away with a wicked smile and says, "Don't make him wait, Rachel! That's so rude." My head shakes and I bite back a smile as I take a step toward the tree tunnel that leads into the garden but then I feel her hand on my arm pulling me back to her mouth and she whispers, "but hurry back because I'm starving," before she kisses me again.

I'm still dizzy when I make it to the gate; I'm drunk on her sweet kisses like nectar and honey. I'm intoxicated by her hazel eyes. I'm sure I look flushed when I open the gate and take the pizza from the delivery guy, "Thank you. And sorry for the wait." I tell him. He just waves it off with a knowing smile and because of that I give him an extra tip.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he says as he takes off.

"That's some good, authentic New York pizza right there," I say as I throw a napkin on top of the closed box. Quinn does the same and smiles at me from across the table.

"Thank you for the pizza." She says.

I shrug it off, "It's no problem. I have something for you – your Valentine's Day gift."

"What?" She asks, clearly taken aback. "All of this wasn't it?"

I chuckle, "of course not." I hid her gift bag behind one of the bushes around us, and hoped she wouldn't see it till I grabbed it. I pull it out from its hiding spot. I look at her and she raises an eyebrow, standing up to come meet me. "It's nothing big but I really want you to have it."

I hand the gift bag over to her and she looks at me with expectant eyes. I can tell she's really excited about opening the gift. While she's taking out the lime green tissue paper from inside the bright pink bag, I steer her back in the direction of our table and we sit down again. I lean my head on my hand and wait.

She pulls out the t-shirt I rolled up and put in there along with a card. I can tell she really wants to look at the shirt but I wrote in red ink on the envelope: READ ME FIRST. She looks up at me and then back at the envelope in her hands and slowly takes it out. She starts to read some of the phrases, "Dear Quinn… I've been having fun… I really like you… I'd very much appreciate it if you –" Her eyes widen and she stops reading aloud. She scans the words over and over and then unrolls the shirt to read the message on it: 'My Girlfriend Is A Theatre Geek.' The shirt's black with a blue smiling mask and a pink frowning mask underneath it. She looks up at me again and smiles, "Of course! Yes! I'll be your girlfriend and I'll wear this with pride." She leans forward, grabs my neck and pulls me in for a kiss.

"Thank goodness. Otherwise, this would have been really awkward."

She laughs and then puts the shirt on over her outfit. "It goes well with my dress, don't you think?" She stands up to twirl and I laugh at her.

She kisses me again before sitting down and pulling something out of her purse, which is resting by her chair on the floor. "I got you something, too." I unwrap it from its green packaging and pull out a box which is also wrapped. "I was really bored…" She says with a shrug and a smirk. I unwrap that box and in it there are two tickets. "Maybe it's more like a gift for both of us… but I noticed you had a lot of Feist on your iPod, and I just hoped you had never been to one of her concerts. She's going to be here on Tuesday of next week…" I pay attention to the tickets and indeed they are for Feist's concert this upcoming Tuesday. I jump off my seat and wrap my arms around her neck and kiss her multiple times on the cheek.

"Thank you! I love it! And I have a plus one! Nice! Santana will love it." I giggle and sit back down and she throws me a playful glare.

"There will be no more of this," She points to her mouth, "if you take some other girl." She sounds serious but her eyes are light and then she laughs.

I shake my head, "that's definitely not an option." I slump in my chair, "Now I feel like my gift was definitely not up to par."

"Forget it, Rach. It was an opportunity and that means Tuesday will be my turn to set up a date."

I nibble on a piece of cheese on my plastic plate and then say, "Your parents will be here Thursday for your birthday, right?"

The cheerleaders are throwing Quinn a party at The Lounge on Saturday night, with Sue's authority and blessing. They always do, but this year Quinn has invited me and Santana and Kurt and Blaine – we're all Arts kids. Most arts kids have never been to one of the cheerleader's parties, but we have heard they are crazy.

Quinn called her parents and asked if they'd like to go out to dinner before her birthday bash, on Thursday. It's tradition that they always come for the day of her birthday and they spend the day together and then go out to dinner. According to her, it'll be the first time since she moved out here that it'll be four people going to dinner. Her parents know she's bringing a friend, but her parents don't know yet about me being me and her girlfriend (since that's new), specifically. She doesn't think that me being a girl will be a problem. She's just said that they might be a little picky because I'm an Arts kid.

"Are you nervous, Berry?" She jokes and grabs the box with the tickets from my hand, sets it on the table, and then picks up my hand.

I shake my head up and down, "A little bit, not going to lie."

"You are the first… significant other they meet from here. You might also be the first girlfriend, but I told you already not to worry."

My fingers interlace with hers, "I just really want them to like me." I drop my eyes to the napkins on the table.

She lifts my chin with a finger to coax me to look into her eyes when she tells me, "They will love you. I'm positive."

I round the corner where the taxi dropped me off. It's Thursday evening and I'm meeting Mr. and Mrs. Fabray. To say I'm nervous is an understatement. Yesterday, I met with Quinn at The Lounge for lunch and she said they were arriving on a flight at around noon and her mother wanted to go look at the museum where we had our first date because Quinn was so ravished about it. She reassured me again that today would be fine; that her father wasn't going to disown her, and that her mother wouldn't poison my drink. Then, we went back to my room and made out and watched a movie before she had to go to her next class.

I shake the thoughts of Quinn on my bed when I see her standing with an older woman who looks just like her, and a man. She has her back to me. Both of her parents have blonde hair. Her mother is wearing a beige skirt and blazer with a grey top and high heels. Her father is in a dark suit with a red tie.

Quinn looks gorgeous. I haven't seen her face yet, but I can't help the smile that spreads on my face when I see her throw her back in laughter at something her mother said. She's in a light green dress with a coat and from what I can tell, a light yellow, faded scarf. She's in her boots again. Her hair is up in a tight ponytail.

Her mother's eyes cut from Quinn to me and then back to Quinn. She leans forward and raises an eyebrow as she says something. At this, the three of them look at me. Quinn turns around and it seems like she turns in slow motion. It reminds me of the day I first saw her; how it seemed like time slowed down and there only existed her and I in the world. Her face breaks into a grin and she excuses herself from her parents and makes her way over to me. I raise a shy hand at them and then look at Quinn. She's standing right in front of me, biting her lip.

"Hi," she says and pulls me in for a bone crushing hug.

"Happy birthday, again." I whisper in her ear. "You look beautiful as always."

"Thank you, again. And, so do you." She says with an approving nod. I'm wearing dark jeans and an orange sweater with my favorite black jacket and red beanie.

"I feel underdressed." I admit. She shakes her head.

"Nonsense. You look great. Are you ready?" She grabs my hand and pulls on it.

I look behind her shoulder at her parents. They're pretending not to look at us, "No, I'm not really…" I say with a shaky breath.

She runs a thumb across my knuckles. "You have nothing to be freaking out about – I promise."

"Okay." I release another breath and then make eye contact with her. "I'm ready." She beams at me and then really holds my hand, pulling me toward her parents. I stay behind her, mostly just trying to slow down the process. I know it was my idea to meet them but now that it's right here, I can't help but worry. Will they mind I'm Jew? Will they care I have two gay dads? Do they not approve of my major? Do they know I'm not blonde? Will they get upset if I look at Quinn for too long?

She stops walking and I realize they're staring intently at us. Mrs. Fabray has a polite smile on her face Mr. Fabray just looks at me. I tighten my hold of Quinn's hand and she squeezes right back. "Mom, Dad, this is Rachel Berry, my girlfriend." She pulls me to her side and smiles at me. "Rach, these are my parents, Judy and Russell Fabray."

Suddenly, I'm in actor!mode. I remember my manners, and I am very good at playing a part so I play the confident girlfriend who isn't peeing her pants (not literally – goodness!). I have to let go of Quinn's left hand to be able to extend my right to Mr. Fabray. He takes it and gives it a good shake, "Hello, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you." I give him my best Berry smile and he just nods. I turn to Mrs. Fabray and now she has what appears to be a genuine smile on her face, "Hello, Mrs. Fabray. I see where Quinn gets her good looks from. You both are very beautiful people." I shake her hand then add, "I really like your earrings." I hadn't even paid much attention but this seems to make her smile wider.

"Oh, I like this one, Russell." She says and places a hand on his biceps, "She has manners and what a charm." She winks at me and then looks at Quinn.

Quinn takes my hand back and then motions inside, "Shall we go in?"

"Yes, of course!" Her mother replies for both her and Russell. He seems like a quiet man but from what Quinn has told me, he's just assessing the situation before he's comfortable enough to contribute to it.

We're at a hibachi place in the lower east side of Manhattan. It was Quinn's idea and I had heard of this place from a friend from dance. She informs the waitress we're a party of four and we sit at the waiting area by the door. "So, Rachel, Quinn tells me you're a theatre major." Her mother speaks once we're all sitting.

Quinn shoots her a look, "Mom. I thought we agreed we'd try to save those questions for a little later?"

I soother her with a smile and then look at her parents, "It's okay, Quinn. Yes, ma'am. Technically it's Musical Theatre."

She nods and then looks at Russell as if to get permission to speak, but soon is looking right at me, "You must be very talented then. To get into a school like yours."

Before I have the opportunity to reply, Quinn speaks, "she is very. I can pull up some videos of her singing on my phone. You remember of that play I watched last semester I told you about, mom."

Her mother looks up and to the left, thinking. She fidgets with the pearl necklace around her neck, "Oh! Yes, I remember. You kept rambling on and on about the lead – no! That Rachel is this Rachel?" She looks at both of us with expectant eyes and I shrug and Quinn laughs.

"Yes! She was amazing." I can feel her look at me. I

"Oh, dear. Please, do show us a video of her!" Her mother moves to sit on the other side of Quinn and Quinn finds a video of the New Directions while we were in New York for nationals. It's not the same video I showed her, but in this video, I blow the socks off the audience with my solo.

The three of us are huddled looking at the video, and then Mr. Fabray speaks to me, "My baby girl really likes you," I turn away from the video in which his wife and daughter are immersed in to look at him. They don't seem to notice he's talking to me for the first time.

I nod and look down for a second before meeting his green eyes, "that seems to be the case. And I really like her."

"I believe you," he says and crosses his arms, "I can tell by the way you two look at each other."

"Thank you, sir." I say, "I guess." I mutter under my breath. I snap out of it and let go of Quinn's hand to scoot closer to him. "She's a special girl," my lips curl.

He looks at her with the fondest look; it's the kind of look reserved for fathers to look at their daughters. It reminds me of the looks my fathers look at me. "Yeah, that she is." He rubs the side of his face, "Is she being good to you?"

"Definitely! She's great."

He nods, "that's good." He's not a man of a lot of words, I'm realizing. But what he says portray that he is actually okay with us being together. Thank you Moses! Eventually our conversation drifts to sports. Not that I'm an export, but my dad Hiram is obsessed with football so I know how to maintain a conversation on it. Quinn and her mother keep looking at videos until the hostess calls our name.

We're seated in front of a large table with a cooking hot plate on top of it. Mr. and Mrs. Fabray sit to the left of Chef, and Quinn and I sit in front of him. There are other people sitting with us as well, but they all seem friendly. When the waiter comes over, he learns it's Quinn's birthday (from Mrs. Fabray) and he hollers it at the Chef, who smirks and promises to give Quinn extra fried rice with a wink.

We all have a pretty good time and the food is delicious. Mr. Fabray has warmed up to me, and Mrs. Fabray talks for the both of them anyway. I tell them about growing up in Ohio and about my theatre love. They gush about Quinn and how she's always been a cheerleader. Mrs. Fabray tells me stories of a young Quinn who liked to run around the house naked pulling on her teddy bear by the leg and singing loudly. We laugh and Quinn goes red. It's adorable. Her hand has been resting on my thigh; it's so comfortable and feels so normal.

Our waiter brings Quinn free dessert which she makes me eat from before she pushes it at her parents. Her mother declines it, but her father eats half of it. The waiter gathers other waiters and waitresses – and the Chef – and they all sing Quinn a happy birthday song and half of the restaurant joins in with applause and hoots. She just smiles and allows her mother to take many pictures of her.

Quinn's parents are taking a flight out that same night back to Ohio. I beg them to let me pay for Quinn or at least for myself, but Mr. Fabray insists on paying for everything. Eventually, I give in. We leave the restaurant and Quinn asks if I wanted to go to the airport with them. Of course I say yes; how can anyone say no to that face? I'm sure her parents had lots of trouble when she was growing up – she probably always got her way. I mull over this thought until we're all in the cab – Mr. Fabray in the front and the girls in the back. "So, Quinn must've been really spoiled, right?" I ask. This is an invitation for Mrs. Fabray to tell many stories as evidence for how Quinn always got what she wanted from Mr. Fabray as a child and how many fights started between the sister and her as they were growing up. Mr. Fabray chuckles quietly, mostly to himself, the entire ride there as Quinn pleads over and over for her mother to stop embarrassing her. She does have a smile on her face though. She tries to throw a glare my way because I keet asking questions and urging her mother on.

I'm surprised at how well meeting Quinn's parents went, and sometime on the trip to the airport, I catch Quinn's eyes and they are full or mirth and joy. Mine hold onto hers and she silently told her how happy I am at the moment. I loved meeting her parents, truth be told. It helped me understand a lot more about where Quinn was from and she I to hear many marvelous stories of her family. But at that moment when our eyes met, I wanted nothing more than to be alone with that girl. Honestly, I really wanted to kiss her but somehow still didn't feel comfortable doing so in front of her parents. I settle for holding Quinn's hand instead. Mrs. Fabray notices the action and smiles.

We all stand outside the airport. Their flight left in an hour but it was getting late and Quinn had an early cheerleading practice the next morning, so we weren't going to go in and watch the entire process of checking in and stuff.

"Thank you for coming and paying for dinner, Dad." Quinn says and hugs him tight. He kisses the top of her head and pats her softly on the shoulder when she pulls away. "I love you."

"I love you, baby." He says and smiles before he turns to me and shakes my hand once again, "It was very nice to meet you. You take care of her."

"Yes, Mr. Fabray. Of course I will. And it was a pleasure to meet you and thank you again for paying for dinner." I tell him.

Mrs. Fabray has Quinn in a vice grip, crying because she has to let go again. "Mom, you do this every time." She mumbles to her mother. Everyone laughs, including her mother who makes a weird sound – something in between a cackle and a sniffle. "I love you, too, Mom." She whispers in her ear like it's a secret and hugs her back just as tight.

When she lets go Mrs. Fabray comes up to me and ignores my hand to wrap her arms around me. "Quinnie is a lucky girl. Make sure she takes care of you." She whispers to me and then kisses me on the cheek. "Bye, girls." She says and hugs Quinn one last time before Mr. Fabray has to actually pull her away from us. They disappear inside the airport amongst the crowd parting New York.

When Quinn turns back to me, her smile is contagious. "They loved you!" She shrieks and invades my space for a hug. She pulls away and starts rubbing at my cheek, "She left a lipstick mark right there. She absolutely loved you. I would say she's definitely crushing on you."

"Apparently Fabrays tend to do that," I joke and squirm under her fingers.

She seems satisfied with getting the lipstick off my cheek and then kisses me softly. "Thank you for being amazing always."

"You make it easy. I love your parents, too. Your dad's really quiet, and your mom is really friendly."

"Today has been one of my favorite birthday dinners. Thank you for coming." She fixes the collar on my jacket and pulls me in again for another kiss. We linger there and then she brushes her cheek with mine before grabbing my hand and leading us toward the cab we took there.

I smile, "I haven't given your gift yet." I tell her.

She looks surprised, "you got me something?"

I'm shocked she would even consider the opposite, "of course! It's your birthday and if you haven't realized it yet – I sorta like you." I pull her under my left arm and she rests her head on my shoulder, under my chin.

"And I really like you. So much." Our fingers automatically find each other's on my lap and I watch her play with them.

The trip back to campus doesn't take long. "Your gift is still in my room, and I know you have practice early in the morning so if you want I can give it to you tomorrow…" I grab her hand and start walking in the direction of her dorm.

"No," she tugs my hand and I look at her. She's momentarily looking shy, with her glace cast to the ground, "I really want to know what it is. And I don't really want to say goodnight yet."

I nod and smile and then we walk in silence to my room. Santana is in the shower when we come in.

"Okay, sit here," I push her on my bed and lean forward to quickly kiss her smiling lips (which she licks afterwards) and then say, "now, close your eyes."

She does immediately and bites her lip.

"No peeking."

"I'm not looking!"

I reach under my bed and pull out the gift, which had been in a decent sized rectangular box. "Okay…" I say tentatively, "I didn't want to wrap it not to ruin it. I don't know how to do that stuff. So here, open your eyes." I'm holding up a framed copy of the artwork that Quinn liked the best from the museum. "I really hope you like it – I mean, it's not the original but…" I trail off and look at her.

Her eyes are teary and her mouth is hung open. She's staring right at the painting. "You didn't!" are the first things that fly out of her mouth as she gets up to appreciate it closer.

"I know it's not the original but - "

"Baby, shut up. This is perfect. I love it. This isn't the original but it must've cost a fortune." She's still looking at the painting and I doubt she noticed she used 'baby' for the first time on me, but I love it that she did and how she did it.

"I'm glad you do." She hugs me and kisses the side of my face, then my closed eyelids, my nose, my lips, my neck.

The bathroom door creaks open and Santana comes out in her towel. "Oh, please. Spare me." She says and walks over to her dresser. Her towel pools around her feet on the floor and Quinn averts her eyes completely embarrassed. She's been here enough times in the past to understand Santana doesn't care, but she still isn't comfortable with it. I smirk at her and bite on her lower lip while Santana is looking away. She giggles.

"Did she like it, Berry?" Santana asks me.

"She is right here, San. You can ask her." I tell her.

"I did like it very much. It's great!" Quinn responds, unaffected by Santana's attitude. Santana's now in sweats and a t-shirt. Quinn and I move to sit on the bed together. Santana finishes her nightly ritual and goes to bed, while Quinn and I progress to a cuddle.

It's past midnight when Quinn whispers, "I really should go, right?" Her eyes are closing and she appears to be struggling to stay up any longer.

"I don't think you should…" My eyes are just as heavy but I keep my gaze on her. I run my eyes over and over across her face, learning everything about it that I can in the darkness of my room. It's quiet besides our breaths and our hushed voices. My fingers crawl up her arm and hold on to the back of her neck, "Stay here tonight."

"I'm so glad you asked because I really didn't want to say goodbye to you today."

"Then, wait…" I'm currently with my back to the wall, so I roll over and hover on top of her. I smile at her and she smiles back. I lean forward and capture her lower lip in a sweet kiss, and roll off her. I grab us both sweats and t-shirts and hand them to her, "you can use the bathroom to change. I'll stay out here."

She gets up and goes in the bathroom to change, while I hurry to discard of my clothes and get into the sweats before she's back.

A minute later the door squeaks and I see her outline against the light coming out of the bathroom into the darkness of our room. She tiptoes back to me, grabs my hand and pulls me to the bed. "I'm going to sleep so well tonight." She says and runs her fingers through my hair.

I turn her around so she's resting her back against my front and our legs tangle. My right hand is around her waist and my left hand is holding her right. I crawl my free hand up underneath her shirt and find warmth on her smooth skin. She shivers lightly and chuckles. "So am I."

"Good night, baby." She says in her drowsy voice. It's so adorable and I just want to hold her forever.

"Good night."

The first thing I realize when I wake up is the weight up against me. The second thing is how hot I am. The third thing is that I love it anyway. I snuggle her closer and sniff the side of her neck. She giggles and I know she's awake. "My arm is dead." I tell her.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" She says and tries to roll away from me but instead I pull my arm from underneath her and throw it over my head.

"Stop it." She stops moving and sighs. "Morning, baby." I say with a smirk and lean in to kiss that same spot on her neck again.

Her reaction is the same and then she turns around in my arms. "Morning, yourself."

"Did you sleep well?"

"The best."

"Good, I'm glad. What time do you have to go to practice?"

"Starts at 7:30 but I should really be there by 7:15." She reaches for my hair and moves some that's stuck to my cheek and temple away behind my ear. "You're so cute."

I'm sure my face is all marked up and it looks disgusting from having just woken up but she doesn't seem to notice. She leans forward and kisses my forehead, my cheek and the tip of my nose.

"You're more." I retort.

"Shut up. I just woke up! I probably look awful." She brings up both hands to cover her face and I bring mine up to hold her wrists and pull them away.

"I like you like this. I think you still look breathtaking." I tell her. She tries to fight back a smile but I catch it with a kiss.

"Morning breath!" She squeals away and gets up. "And I really have to get going." She picks up her clothes from the chair she dropped them on last night and makes a beeline for the bathroom. I watch her move about with a smile on my face and when she's gone in the bathroom, I drop back on the bed and throw an arm over my eyes. I don't have class until ten, so I don't need to rush out of my room.

She opens the door slightly, "you wouldn't have a spare toothbrush by any chance?" She asks and pouts. "I have to go back to my room anyway to get my duffle bag and change before practice, but I'd really appreciate it if I could brush my teeth."

I roll out of bed with a groan and fall on the floor, wincing. She laughs. I get up on my feet and dart to the bathroom (noticing Santana is already gone - thank goodness) and find a new toothbrush in a drawer. "Here." I tell her. She grabs it and kisses my cheek.

"Thank you."

Since I'm already up and in the bathroom, I decide to brush my teeth, too, to save time. We're bumping hips as we try to brush our teeth around each other. We laugh more than anything, and I have to spit out before I choke because of Quinn. When we're both done, I pin her against the counter and wipe some toothpaste from her bottom lip and kiss her. She moans in my mouth and kisses me back before pushing me away, "As much as I want to stay – and trust me, I want to stay – I really have to go or I'll be late."

I can't help it but groan and step back in her personal space, "you could ditch them and just stay with me all morning." I propose but I know she has to go and she knows I know.

She laughs and then kisses me, "I'll miss you." She walks out of the bathroom and grabs her bag before darting out the door.

I laugh out loud by myself in the room. I feel light and happy. I open the window and it is sunny outside, even though I know if I go out in just a t-shirt I'll freeze to death. But the light coming in my room feels warm and I just stand there for another minute or two reveling in the feeling. Then I grab my phone from where it's sitting, charging on top of my desk, and I drop back in bed.


	10. Butterfly (Jason Mraz)

I have an internal clock that goes off at 6:30 on weekdays so I've been awake for a while. She finally wakes up fifteen minutes after I do. She pulls me in closer and smells my neck. I giggle when the tip of her nose hits my skin; it tickles. "My arm is dead," she says and it makes me panic.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" I try to move away to free her arm but she doesn't let go of me. Instead, she simply moves her arm.

"Stop it." She tells me. I sigh and stop moving, against my will, and the she says, "Morning, baby." It ignites this thing inside of me to hear her call me baby. I smile and feel her kiss my neck.

I giggle again because it still tickles, and then I turn around to say, "Morning, yourself."

"Did you sleep well?" She questions with a smile.

"The best." I reassure her. It has been the best sleep I got in a while. I felt so comfortable and protected during the night.

"Good, I'm glad. What time do you have to go to practice?"

Her eyes are dancing all over my features. There's no more than two inches of space between our faces. "Starts at 7:30 but I should really be there by 7:15." I move some hair away from her face and it hits me just how adorable she is. Even without makeup, she's beautiful. "You're so cute." I lean forward and kiss her all over.

"You're more." She says.

Lies! I know what I look like in the morning! "Shut up. I just woke up! I probably look awful." I want to cover my face, suddenly embarrassed but she stops me by my wrists and pulls my hands away from my eyes.

"I like you like this. I think you still look breathtaking." I don't want to smile at what she just said but she leans forward and kisses me.

"Morning breath!" I succeed in getting away from her this time. I really do have to go if I want to be at practice on time and if I let her sweet talk me, I'll spend the entire day here. "And I really have to get going." I pick up my clothes and go to the bathroom but I can feel Rachel's eyes on me as I move around.

I wash my face and change quickly. I want to brush my teeth though. I feel disgusting without brushing it and I really want to kiss her but I won't do that before brushing my teeth. I open the door and ask her, "you wouldn't have a spare toothbrush by any chance?" Rachel's lying on the bed, with an arm across her eyes. her t-shirt has ridden up her smooth stomach and I have to consciously look away before I drool. She opens her eyes. "I have to go back to my room anyway to get my duffle bag and change before practice, but I'd really appreciate it if I could brush my teeth."

She groans and rolls out of bed. She winces when she hits the ground and I laugh. She comes in the bathroom and finds a new toothbrush in a drawer and hands it to me. "Here." She tells me and kisses my cheek.

"Thank you."

She decides to go ahead and brush hers too, and by the glint in her eyes, I can tell she's doing it just so she can kiss me, too. The bathroom is not huge, so we keep hitting each other as we try to move around. When we're both done, she pins me against the counter and wipes some toothpaste from my bottom lip to kiss me. I moan because damn, that was hot. Her entire body is flush against mine and I have to force my eyes open to kiss her and push her away. "As much as I want to stay – and trust me, I want to stay – I really have to go or I'll be late."

She groans and steps forward again, "you could ditch them and just stay with me all morning." I really want to stay and I have to fight the urge to just take her back to bed and fall asleep again.

The only solution I see is to get out of there as soon as I can before staying, even though I know she knows I have to go. I laugh and kiss her, "I'll miss you." And I get out of there as fast as I can.

It's only when I'm downstairs, in the dorm's lobby, that I remember I left my gift in the room. So I text her.

Quinn Fabray: I might've left my present in your room in my rush to leave.

Rachel Berry: More the reason for you to come back after your first class ;)

We scramble into my room. The door only shuts completely because she backs me into it. The room is dark like I assumed it'd be. I'm so happy my roommate isn't here right now. She's panting in my mouth and grabbing everything she possibly can. I moan when she bites my lip and drop my head to the right so she can lick the left side of my neck up to my jawline.

"Fuck," I say. Our make out sessions have become more and more intense since we became official. After sleeping in her room on Thursday, after my birthday, there is a growing need to be closer to each other all the time.

Her thighs are on each side of my left leg and her right hand is crawled up underneath my blouse. "So hot." She mumbles as she nibbles down my collarbone. My eyes shoot up when I feel her left hand pull my ass and she hits me just right. "Damn."

"Rach," I say. I have to remind her we have to be leaving soon for my birthday party. I can't be late for my own birthday, can I? I open my mouth again to say something but I can't remember what it is when her right hand reaches right under my breast. She's hovering and sometimes lightly touching my ribs with her fingertips, waiting for permission. I'm supposed to shake my head no and tell her we have to go, but instead my head nods. She doesn't take her time. She takes her index finger and pulls my bra up and away, instantly rubbing my nipple. We moan at the same time.

She leans forward and we kiss, inhaling all the air we can. "We have to go to your party."

I mumble and nod dumbly.

She rocks forward once and my back rides up and down the wooden door behind us.

"You can't be late." She reminds us. She does it again.

I know she's right. I want to keep going so badly. I've been thinking about this ever since we first met, and we've taken our relationship slow, but right now, more than ever, I want her. But she's right. And so I slow down our kiss, and we rest our foreheads to each other's. "I kind of hate you for that." I tell her, but I don't mean it. We take our time to catch our breaths and then she pulls my bra back down and kisses my lips a lot more chaste than before.

"I want our first time to not be in a hurry." She mumbles before running a hand down my neck and grabbing it. "So I can take my time exploring you." Her voice is husky and it does nothing to ease my lust at the moment. I groan when she turns on the light next to me and pulls away. The throbbing sensation between my legs insisting we continue what we started.

I shove her on the shoulder lightly as I make my way to the mirror to adjust my hair and make-up and she laughs and leans on my desk to watch me. "That was really hot though."

I roll my eyes, "you don't have to tell me that."

"Hurry up and get your stuff so we can go! I don't want to stay a second longer alone in your company or I'll just have to do something about it." I turn to face her with amused eyes, and she winks. I turn back around to the mirror with a low growl.

"You're teasing me." I fix my eyeliner and face her again, "How do I look?"

She nods and bites her bottom lip, "you know you look gorgeous. You always do. It's fuckin' ridiculous actually." She pushes herself off my desk and starts to slowly walk my way. I giggle, but I have to move, so we can get going.

"No! Don't you dare touch me right now!" I point an index finger at her to keep her from taking another step. I walk around her and to my desk where she was and connect my phone to the charger. She keeps her back to me and I can see her shoulder move up and down as she laughs.

She shakes her head and says, "I don't know how I'm going to survive all night long without touching you."

"Just stay away from me." I joke and find the dress and jacket I'm changing into. I pass by her again on the way to the bathroom and stop to peck her on the cheek but it happens so fast she doesn't even have time to blink.

Once I'm changed, I check my phone to see if it's charged. It charged up to 20% which means it will only last another thirty minutes. I just leave my phone in the room. Anyone I might want to text will be at the party tonight.

"Ready?" She asks.

"Yeah." I wrap a scarf around my neck and let her grab my hand and lead us out the door.

Brittany and Santana are dirty dancing on the dance floor to my right. Kurt and Blaine are sitting at a table off to the side talking and drinking. Sam is chatting up Mercedes, Rachel's friend from theatre. Mike sulks behind him. I sigh. I glance over at Rachel, talking to Tina excitedly while holding a beer in her hand. I walk over to him and greet some people on the way.

"Hey, Mike." I say and hug him.

"Hey! Happy birthday, Q." He says hugging me back. He tries to not look at where Brittany is before looking back at me, "nice party."

"It's the same as last year's, Mike. And you were here then too." I smile.

He takes a swig of his drink and smiles back, "So you and Rachel all official, huh?"

I glance at where she is again and she waves at me. "Yes, we are."

"I'm happy for you." He waves at Rachel, too.

"Why aren't you dancing? You're the best dancer here."

He looks at me disbelievingly, "that's a lie. We all know she is." He points the tip of his beer at Brittany on the dance floor.

I shake my head, "Ugh, I'm sorry. For all of that." I wave my hand in front of us, referring to Santana practically stealing Brittany from him. "If it weren't for me meeting Rach –"

"Whoa!" He throws a hand up to stop me from speaking, "it's so not your fault. They would've met eventually."

Rachel's looking at us with a concerned expression and then she turns back at Tina to listen to what the girl is saying and then it hits me. Why not? Besides the obvious – they're both Asian - Tina is talented! She can dance! She can sing. She can act. It's perfect! She's beautiful and perfect for Mike. I excuse myself from Mike and he nods. I walk over to Rachel and ask Tina if I can steal her for a second with a wink, pulling Rachel away into a dark corner. Rachel has a smirk on her face.

"I'm not pulling you away to make out with you." I tell her and she pretends to be sad by this but then she straightens up and nods, letting me know she's listening. "Mike and Tina are like, perfect for each other!" I burst out.

"You want to hook them up?" She asks and looks back to where Tina is watching people dancing. I glance over at Mike and redirect her gaze at him with my hand.

I giggle, excited, "oh my gosh! I can't believe I never thought about it before. Go get Tina and come talk to me and Mike. We'll introduce them and find an excuse to walk away."

"I can think of a real reason for us to walk away." She winks, snickers, and grabs my hand. We walk over to Tina first and Mike looks at me with a skeptical frown. Then I call him over and he comes.

"Tina Cohen-Chang, this is Mike…" she trails off because only then does she realize that, "Chang." I burst out laughing and the two look down, embarrassed but smiling. "You guys should, um, talk." Rachel says between laughter. "Quinn and I are gonna… we're gonna…"

"We're gonna go!" I say and pull her away from them. I lead her to the dance floor and we start moving to the beat.

"We're gonna dance, babe?" She murmurs in my ear, close enough for me to feel her lips. "I had other ideas of what to do with our time."

I wrap my hands around her neck and feel her hands rest on my waist, "I can't ditch my own party to go kiss some pretty girl. I can, however, kiss you right here." I kiss her then and she tightens her hold on me. I hear the people around us hoot and shout 'yeahs!' over the music. We smile as we tentatively let go of each other to look at the people.

"Seems like it's time for the cake!" I hear one of my cheerleaders say. They bring out the cake and the DJ starts the Happy Birthday song. Rachel is obviously singing the loudest, right next to my ear, grinning.

"Happy birthday, again, blondie." Santana says and sits next to me. Rachel's on my lap, with an arm around my shoulder.

"Thank you, Santana." I say.

"Be nice," Rachel warns her and she nods. She kisses me once before walking over to Britt. They start dancing.

"So, Quinn." She starts. I sense that she might want to say something that I might need to get it out of her.

I give her time before tentatively asking, "yeah?"

She runs a hand down her neck, scratching behind her ear, "I was thinking…"

I try to be patient, "Thinking about?"

"You know… thinking and I was talking to Britt, too."

"Just spill it, Santana."

She mumbles something. I can't hear it so I lean forward. It's the first time I've ever seen Santana like this. She looks a little embarrassed but mostly… nervous.

"Santana, you're going to have to repeat that." I try to say it as nicely as I can, and when she looks back up, I smile to reassure her that it's okay.

She sighs, "I was wondering if I could join the squad." She says.

I smile.

"Wow," she says, out of breath. She shakes her head and guides my hand up above my head and holds it there. She leans forward and attacks my mouth again.

"I know." I tell her. I let her taste my neck, my collarbone, my neck again. She kisses my jawline, my cheek; she licks my ear and then bites lightly behind my ear. "She said she'll even try out."

"That's… wow."

"Mhm."

I pull her closer by the ass, and we're in the same position we were in before we left my dorm, except now we're in an empty, dark room, in The Lounge. She gasps and releases my other hand, which automatically joins its companion on her very nice, very firm, very delicious behind.

"Shit."

"I know."

Someone barges in the room and we fly apart. She looks frustrated and groans when they turn on the light.

"A fight broke out! Someone called campus security! And Coach Sylvester is on her way!" The brunette cheerleader, Clarissa, explains to us with a look that can only be described as panic.

I mumble, "fuck." I turn to Rachel and say, "You should go. This will come back to me anyway since it's my party, but besides that I'm the head cheerleader, I should've been out there."

Rachel looks at Clarissa and she takes the hint and leaves. "Sweetheart," she says and approaches me, taking my hands, "I can stay with you; it's no problem."

I shake my head, "You won't want to. Trust me. Sylvester will try to blame you. It'll be boring. I'll call you when I leave here. I promise." I kiss her one last time before turning her the direction of the door and patting her butt. She leaves but looks back one last time before leaving.

"Where were you, Q?" Coach asks me, her tone cool from across her desk. We're all in her office – the two campus security men, myself, Coach, Sam Evans, and the dude he got in a fight with, Marcus Something.

"I wasn't there." I try to keep my answer as vague as possible because Sam Evans fighting with this Marcus guy about another girl only means one thing to Coach: loss money from potential sponsors.

"Try again." She enunciates each word.

"I was with my, uh, my girlfriend."

She arches an eyebrow and looks at the boys, then at the security people, "It won't happen again. If it does, I will make sure your lives here will be a living hell. Now go." The guys scurry out of there, avoiding each other, and the security cops tilt their heads before making an exit. "Have a seat, Q."

I do as told.

"Please, enlighten me. Girlfriend?" She says and turns on her shaker. It makes an obnoxious noise for about ten seconds.

"I'm in a relationship with Rachel Berry." Might as well just come out and say it.

Her mouth hangs open and she narrows her eyes. She's quiet for a long moment until she just says, "No."

Wait. What? "Excuse me?"

"No. You cannot date her. Break up with her tonight."

"Why not?" I try to keep my voice low and respectful but I'm already getting pissed.

"Number 1, she is a girl. Number 2, she is not Sam Evans – whom we discussed would be good for you to date because –"

"And what is the problem with her being a girl exactly?" My voice rises just a little bit.

"Our team can be accepting of lesbians and gays, Q. You know we are. And I know you told me you like girls, that's fine. But you cannot make your relationship public. You're the head cheerleader. It'll lose us sponsors." She says. "Sam Evans wouldn't have been in a fight tonight had you and him been dating like I said from the beginning."

I'm angry. She's going on about how I should've listened to her and all this crap but I'm still upset at her telling me to break up with Rachel. "I'm not breaking up with Rachel, Coach. I'm sorry." I get up, and walk over to the door.

"You have to or else…"

"Or else what?" I explode at her, turning around with ferocity. "Or else you'll take away my position? And then we would lose sponsors, Coach. Because I will tell them that you are homophobic and that you are discriminating me because of my sexuality. It would probably go National, don't you think? And you might even lose your job. So you better reconsider. I'm not quitting either. So you watch out. By the way, don't go after Sam Evans or Rachel. So help me God – if you do anything to her, you'll regret it." By the time I'm done speaking, my chest is heaving. My inner HBIC came out and I couldn't do anything about it. In my head I'm freaking out now that I got it all out of my system. I look at Coach and she looks pale, her eyes are wide and focused on me.

She finally drops her gaze and takes in a deep breath, "Wow, you remind me so much of a young Sue Sylvester. Now get out of here before I change my mind."

I'm shaking when I walk out of her office. I slam the door behind me and pick up my coat and bag from a chair. The Lounge is a complete mess and no one stayed behind to wait for campus security; the cheerleaders will probably have to clean it on Monday morning practice. I don't linger there.

I step out into the cold, night air. Rachel is there. She looks worried, chewing on her bottom lip. I smile because I really wasn't expecting her. "What are you doing here?"

She looks up and uncrosses her arms, "I couldn't go. Is everything alright? I spoke briefly to Sam Evans when he left but he told me Coach Sylvester wanted to speak to you alone after she found out about me." She looks down and goes back to chewing on her lip.

I run a thumb over it to make her stop and kiss her. "Everything's great. I basically threatened her if she did anything to you, and told her she wouldn't take my position away from me. It was very empowering at the moment, though I was shaking like a leaf."

"You said that?" Her eyes widen and I giggle.

"Of course I did. She…" I look away quickly before finding her hand, "she straight up told me to break up with you. There is no way in hell that's happening."

"What if she kicked you off the squad?" She asks, surprised but I can tell she's also relieved.

"That's how I threatened her. I said if she did I would just claim she was discriminating me for being gay." I shrug like it's no big deal and Rachel stops walking to look at me.

"You're crazy." She shakes her head, "You're crazy but I have to admit that you taking charge like that… kinda hot." She smirks and arches an eyebrow at me.

I pull her in by the hand. I look behind me to see her staring right at my butt with a lazy grin. Mary told me earlier that day that she'd be out with her boyfriend all weekend. I bring our bodies together and kiss her before breaking away and pushing her on my bed.

I stare at her from where I stand and she stares right back with a cocky smirk and a twinkle in her eyes. I lick my lips and straddle her. She laughs when I kiss her face all over. Then she places a hand on each side of my face to still me and kisses me right on my lips. "You taste really good. Like Quinn and strawberries and a little bit of vodka."

I hum at her and we massage our tongues together. "You can take off my dress if you want." I offer. She giggles and drops her head to my neck and sniffs it before biting it softly. She follows the bite with a lick. Her hands make way to my zipper, and after a few seconds of struggling she manages to get it to work. She slides it down slowly. When the zipper reaches the bottom, she looks up and kisses me again, sucking on my top lip.

I pull of her sweater in one swift motion and my eyes fall to her breasts, covered by a lacy black bra. I lick my lips and lean forward to place open-mouthed kisses on her collarbone, on her throat up her neck, under her chin. She shivers and moans and I can't help but smirk against her oh so tasty tan skin.

That's when she reaches both hands under the fabric of my dress and settles them on my thighs. She lightly caresses it and trails her fingers up and up and then takes the dress off. She holds my waist and then graciously she moves her right hand across my stomach and back down my thigh, "You're flawless."

I'm suddenly shy being looked at so close but what she says eases me a little. "You're too kind," I kiss her again, running my hands down her back to the bra clasp.

"Just honest." I hear her mumble.

I'm lying naked under the covers with her naked body pressed tightly up against my back. Her hand is just now trailing back up my stomach, and when she reaches between my breasts, I shudder again. I find her hand and interlace my fingers with hers and rest our hands right under my stomach. "I can feel her center right up against my ass and I just love it. She's nuzzling my neck with her nose, "that was amazing."

I'm still breathless, trying to catch my breath after our second round. I'm exhausted. "I'm afraid I'm never gonna want to do anything else other than make love to you."

She hums contently behind me and trails kisses from that spot on my neck down to the top of my bare shoulder. "Maybe we don't have to." We laugh quietly.

Right now, nothing else really matters. I know that we were meant to meet each other and meant to be together. I could see myself falling for this girl and falling hard. I might already be down that road to be completely honest. She hugs me tighter to her and I let myself mold completely to her form now that my body's not so heightened.

I feel her softly blow air on my skin. It cools me down and heats me up at the same time. If she keeps touching me and doing things to me, we'll end up going for another round. For now, I'm completely happy to let her hold me and just feel her all around me.

And then she lets go of my hand and props herself up on her right elbow and starts trailing her index finger up and down my arm. I shiver at the feeling and turn around completely to look into her eyes. She's not looking at my eyes; she's following her finger across my collarbone, up my neck, over my ear. Then she switches to her thumb and she cups my face gently and leans in to kiss me while gently running her thumb over my cheekbones.

Our legs end up intertwining more than they were and in a heartbeat she pulls me back on top of her and lies back down, dragging me to fully cover her with my body. My head falls in the crook of her neck and I stick out my tongue to taste her again.

My body starts to move against hers in synchrony and within seconds we're panting and gasping and whimpering. I'm riding her leg as I watch her eyes grow in wanton. It's when she licks her lips that I fall forward and capture them with my own. I take a bite of her bottom lip and she giggles, and then groans and then gasps a cuss word. It's so hot, it makes me go faster.

The blankets are around my hips by this point, and my breasts are bouncing and I love the way she'll push me back just to watch them sometimes. Then curiosity takes the best of her and she starts to touch and play and feel them as if she hasn't just done that and it's always new and curious hot and it makes me wetter.

We keep going like this and that feeling at the pit of my stomach that's been tightening gets so tight I need release and I need it soon. I pull her up by the back of her neck and she's sitting up, canting her hips up and down to match mine. Her back is sweaty and my hand slides easily up to her neck where I throw my arms over and let her carry me over the edge. I kiss her as soon as I feel it explode, wanting to taste her as the white pleasure takes over my mind and my body and as deep as my soul.

A few seconds later, she grips my waist harder and I know she's coming, too. Her mouth hangs open with no sound and her eyes are closed tight. Our chests are heaving in unison, falling and rising until she drops back down and I go along. We fall on a bed of laughter and deep breaths.

"Damn." She whispers.

"I'm auditioning for another play on Monday." She tells me from her spot on the bed.

I turn around with a bright grin on my face and she has a smile of her own on her lips. "Really?" I sit back down on the bed and she grabs my hand and starts playing with my fingers.

"Yeah, it's not a musical but it's going to be great anyway."

"Which one is it?"

"Cyrano de Bergerac."

I smile. I read that in high school. It's a French play and the only reason why I read it was because I watched the movie once on TV. "I'm sure you'll get it. You're the best actress they have." I lean down and kiss her on the middle of her forehead. She closes her eyes at the contact and sighs.

"Thank you." She finds my lips with hers and we kiss.

She gets up and starts looking for her clothes. "Aw," I say, "I like you better naked."

She lets out a hearty laugh and side-eyes me from where she's putting her jeans back on. I'm staring at the way her leg muscles flex when she bends over to pull up one of the jeans' legs.

"Honestly, I don't want to be clothed around you." She says and comes back to where I'm sitting. She stands in front of me with a sneaky grin. She threads her fingers through my hair. "But," I close my eyes as she massages my scalp, "I have to meet with Santana for brunch."

I roll my eyes, "I totally forgot about that." I wrap my arms around her waist and place my head on her stomach. Her fingers don't stop running through my hair. I feel her bend over and kiss the top of my head. "Tell her I said 'hey'." I say and open my eyes and bring them up to meet hers. She has an adorable look in them; I can see the joy in them.

Rachel tugs at my arm so I get up. She worms her arms around my neck and my hands dip underneath her sweater. "I'll call you later, okay, gorgeous?" She asks.

"You better." I warn her with a giggle.

She nods with assurance and kisses me one last time before I let her go. "Let me know how your study group goes later," she says from the door.

"Bye." I wave and she leaves but only after she blows me a kiss.

I've been in the library for two hours now. I take off my reading glasses and place it on the table with a sigh and rub my temple. I have a test in Literature class tomorrow so I have been reviewing my notes. My study group ended about half an hour ago but I decided to stay longer just because I had nothing else planned for the day and I really want to do well on this test.

I don't even hear her come up until she's planting herself on my lap and letting her book bag fall to our feet. "Hi," She says and kisses my cheek.

"Hi!" I smile. It's a delightful surprise to see her here and it spreads warmth through my chest.

Her eyes crinkle as she smiles at me and I see her holding out a cup of coffee, "I came here to bring you this. A little pick me up in the middle of your day." I grab it and then kiss her. She smells delightful. Like heaven.

"Thank you! You're amazing, do you know that?" I ask her and take a sip, my lips smiling around the cup.

She laughs and dips her head in to kiss my neck. "So I've heard. From a few people."

I laugh and set the cup down, careful not to drop it on my notes, to properly hold her. "You're hilarious."

"Who says I'm kidding, baby?" She asks with a wicked grin.

I know she isn't. It doesn't surprise me that people have told her that because she really is. In more ways than one. "I know you aren't." I narrow my eyes in fake annoyance and she laughs again.

"I missed you all day."

It's still three in the afternoon. It makes me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt. Mostly because I felt the same. I've been thinking all day about the moment when I would get the call her and hear her voice just tell me about her day. I wouldn't even care about what we talk about as long as I got to relax with her voice in my ear. "I did, too."

Her hand fists the collar of the plaid shirt I'm wearing, "So kiss me." She orders and pulls me in.

I don't even try to fight it because I want to kiss her so badly. I linger touching our lips and when she opens her mouth and invites me in, my stomach flips and I regret being in the library. We back away from each other and she stands up. She hands me the coffee again and steals another kiss. "Mmm, you taste like Caramel Macchiato. So damn delicious." I laugh and put my glasses back on and open my notes as she grabs her backpack. "I'll see you later, hot stuff. You look hot with those glasses, by the way." She winks and growls at me in an attempt to look sexy and it kind of works but it mostly makes me laugh at her dorkyness.

"See you later, baby." She walks away and out of the library and from my seat I watch her go with a smile on my face. I don't think I've ever had an interaction with her where I didn't smile. I can't help it; it's just the way she makes me feel.

Mike called me earlier to ask if I wanted to hang out and go grab a movie. I instantly agreed because after three hours in the library reading, all I wanted to do was not think. Also, I wanted a chance to become better friends with him; to help him get over Britt and just because he is a good guy and I think he could become a really good friend.

I met him outside of The Lounge and walked to the movie theatre. "So, how's it been with Rachel?" He asks. He's such a genuine guy. His eyes smile almost as large as his lips and I feel comfortable in hanging out with him without feeling the need to constantly tell him to back off.

"Everything's perfect." I admit. Usually I would feel shy at a moment like this but the thought of Rachel makes me feel like it's okay if I brag a little bit. "She's awesome. Just today she surprised me in the library just to bring me coffee. I wasn't even expecting it."

"From the times her and I got to talk during productions, she always seemed like a cool girl. I always assumed she wasn't into relationships though." He says with a shrug.

"Well, from what I understand, she wasn't. Apparently I'm the exception." I say with no apologies.

He nods along, understanding, "Totally. I can see how you could change that." He laughs and holds the door open of the movies for me, "So, I wanted to thank you."

"For?" I ask as I make my way to the ticket booth.

"Tina." He admits and makes a motion to the person behind the counter that he's paying. I raise an eyebrow at him and grin.

"Really?" I ask and thank the man for the ticket. "Thanks." I tell him and he just waves it off.

"Yeah. She's awesome. And I know it was your idea to introduce us."

I purse my lips. Caught. "Well, I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not and I'm happy for you."

"Oh! Don't say sorry!" We laugh. "She's perfect for me!" His eyes shine as he tells me about how they talked for the duration of the party last night and they exchanged numbers and have a date planned for tomorrow evening. Before the movie begins I make him promise me that he'll fill me in on the date afterwards.

I call Rachel on my way up to my room after the movie and tell her about Mike and Tina. She's giddy when she finds out and admits that my idea was genius. She also says that Santana will like to know he's okay now. Santana, apparently, had been feeling a little remorse at stealing Britt – what a surprise.

"Speaking of Santana, when does she get to try out for the squad?" She asks. I hear some shuffling on the other side and a door opens and closes. I assume she's just now leaving the studio.

"I mean, it's kind of late for her to join now because we're almost halfway through second semester… Spring break is in a month and stuff. But she can try out with me and I'll make sure she's in it for next year. She can even start hanging out with us if she'd like."

"I doubt she'll ever admit to wanting that." She laughs. "But," her voice perks up, "you mentioned Spring Break is coming soon…"

I stay quiet and let her finish her thought.

"You should come back home with me to meet my parents. I've told them so much about you and they mentioned it today that I should bring you with me to Lima."

I'm a little shocked, not going to lie. But I'm also ecstatic. This is good. This is forward. This is awesome! I immediately agree and only after do I hope I didn't sound so eager. "Yes! Of course. I mean, it'd be great to do that."

She sounds relieved, "good. They'll be happy to hear you agreed. It'll be fun. I promise."

"I believe you. I'll be looking forward to it. Are Kurt and Santana coming home with you?"

"Kurt is actually going down to Florida with Blaine and some other friends. Santana is going but only for the second half of the break so she can make it to her family's barbeque."

I bite my lip at the idea of having most of Rachel's attention during all of Spring Break. In her hometown. In her home. Hanging out with her friends and family. It's a little bit scary but mostly exciting. "I can't wait," I tell her and mean it.

Rachel suddenly yelps and I hear a thud. Then there's the sound of papers coming and then her voice comes through the phone, "Sorry! Sorry, baby. I dropped my phone. Give me a second!"

I chuckle and smile.

This girl.


	11. L'amoureuse (Carla Bruni)

Everyone else has left and I'm alone in the studio when my ringtone reverberates through the spacious room. I land on my feet from a twirl and scramble to my bag, searching for my phone. I know it's Quinn. I've been thinking about her smile ever since I last kissed it in the library today.

"Hey, there." I say when I pick up.

I can hear her smile when she says, "Hey, Rach. Were you busy?"

Technically... but I was just putting in extra practice; it wasn't really that necessary and I'd rather be talking to her at this point. "No, I wasn't. How was your evening?" I open my water bottle and down half of it as she tells me about her movie date with Mike. I sit on the floor with my legs extended in front of me.

"He said he really likes her and that he's so thankful we introduced them; he knew it was my idea…" A lot of people say that I can talk a lot sometimes but when Quinn gets excited, it's a little adorable when she rambles. I'm listening to every word intently and laugh when she apologizes for talking my ear off for the past ten minutes.

"Well," I remember what Santana told me this morning about feeling bad for Mike, without apologizing for liking Britt. "Santana will be really excited to know Mike's trying to move on. She wasn't all too excited about the whole breaking them up." I get up, and start picking up my things. I take out a towel from my bag and throw it around my neck and stick my water bottle in the same bag. I gather some of the papers with tomorrow's audition's information and the script they gave me to read. I grab it all with a copy of the book in French and another in English.

"That's a little surprising, not going to lie!" Her voice comes in through the other side.

"Speaking of Santana, when does she get to try out for the squad?" I ask. This morning she mentioned asking, even though Quinn already told me last night, but she didn't offer many details about the conversation. I make my way out of the studio, and the lights turn off automatically after me when the door shuts. I pull on my sweater and throw my bag over my shoulder, across my torso.

"I mean, it's kind of late for her to join now because we're almost halfway through second semester… Spring break is in a month and stuff. But she can try out with me and I'll make sure she's in it for next year. She can even start hanging out with us if she'd like." At her mention of Spring Break, I remember the phone call I had with my fathers this morning after brunch with Santana. They told me to invite Quinn to Lima because they're dying to meet her after hearing me talk so much about her. They said, and I quote, 'You invite her nicely, or we'll come there and kidnap her.'

"I doubt she'll ever admit to wanting that." I laugh. "But, you mentioned Spring Break is coming soon…" I trail off, trying to ramp up the dramatics. She says quiet and I know she's waiting to hear what I'm about to say. "You should come back home with me to meet my parents. I've told them so much about you and they mentioned it today that I should bring you with me to Lima." I omit the kidnapping part; maybe she'll think they're serious and will really not want to go.

She actually sounds excited when she says, "Yes! Of course." I smile and pump a fist because my fathers will be ecstatic and now so am I. Having Quinn at home for Spring Break will be so much fun. I reach my dorm and am relieved to walk inside the lobby; it's freaking cold outside and not even body heat from dancing is keeping me warm anymore. She coughs awkwardly and then says, "I mean, it'd be great to do that," as if she's trying to recompose herself.

I sigh at her eagerness and the heater, "good. They'll be happy to hear you agreed. It'll be fun. I promise." I'm walking up the stairs, holding the papers and books in one hand, with the phone on the other, and my bag keeps hitting my knees as I climb up.

"I believe you. I'll be looking forward to it. Are Kurt and Santana coming home with you?"

"Kurt is actually going down to Florida with Blaine and some other friends. Santana is going but only for the second half of the break so she can make it to her family's barbeque."

"I can't wait," She says.

I think of having Quinn sleep in my bed and making love to her with my fathers downstairs and suddenly I'm shy, awkward, and trip up on the last step before my floor. The papers splatter all over the stairs, and my phone flies off into the air and hits a wall. I fall on my knees; the bag is kind of right there to keep the impact from hurting too bad. "Sorry! Sorry, baby. I dropped my phone. Give me a second!" I yell at the phone so I can make sure she knows I'm still on the line. I get up with a grunt, clean off my knees, and grab my phone before I race down the stairs, picking up papers. "Hello? You still there?" I ask her.

She laughs, "Did you just trip, Rachel?"

I pout even though she can't see and nod.

"Are you nodding?" She laughs again and I whimper, embarrassed. "I'm sorry babe, are you okay?" Her voice is gentle yet still kind of playful.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I grumble. I apparently resort to a toddler when hurt.

"Do you need me to come over to kiss your… Wait, what did you fall on?"

I grin, "On my butt. Will you come over and kiss my ass?"

She laughs loudly, unafraid, free. "Anytime you want." She says and I get mental pictures of Quinn last night, running her tongue down my spine and literally kissing my ass with soft pecks. Damn. So sexy. She said it and I know she means it.

"I'm just kidding though," I admit, "I fell on my knees. They hurt a little bit but they'll be fine with a little bit of ice."

I open the door to my room and throw my bag on my bed. I nod at Santana and Brittany who are cuddling on Santana's bed, watching a movie. I sit on my bed and open my Facebook on my laptop to check for anything. She sighs contently on the other side and I know she's settling on her bed too. "At the risk of sounding needy I'll admit I kind of wish you were here again tonight."

I bite my lip at her confession. I wish the same. "Me, too." I tell her.

She smacks her lips together a few times and then whispers in a seductive voice, "Then why aren't you here?"

It doesn't take me long to say good bye, shower and make my way over.

I'm lying on her bed with my stomach down, naked and facing the wall with her body now wrapped over mine like a blanket. I've never been so glad for Quinn's roommate's boyfriend living off-campus as right now. I feel her perky breasts slide up and down my back slowly. She's humming, her lips trailing behind my ear. "You're so warm." She says.

"You keep me hot." I tell her.

She stops moving, snuggles closer and presses her arms tightly to my sides. "I like the way you feel underneath me. Or above me. Or just anywhere in the near vicinity of where I'm found."

I giggle and raise my head just enough to look at her smile from the corner of my eyes. I bite my lips at the sight of her disheveled hair, the red lips being wet by a tongue, and her cheeks flushed. My head drops on the bed and I shake it, "Sometimes I don't understand how someone can be so hot. I'm so lucky." I raise my head again and she giggles, leans forward, and kisses my nose.

"Thank you." She says. "You should have at least an idea though. You're kind of almost as hot as me." I can hear the joking tone of her voice.

I feign hurt, "Hey." My bottom lip juts out in a pout and she throws her head back laughing before zeroing in her gaze on my lip and taking it with hers. The kiss is not dead on because of our position but it still makes me melt.

She rolls to the side to lie in face to face with me, "You're definitely the sexiest girl I've ever met."

I try not to but end up rolling my eyes anyway, "you clearly have never seen a picture of yourself."

"Shut up." She says, her voice dropping a few decibels. "I'm the lucky one." Her fingers wrap around my neck and I close my eyes before our lips and tongues find each other in a kiss.

Quinn wakes up early the next morning and tells me to go back to sleep when I open my eyes. She showers and from her bed I can hear her hum a happy tune. I don't have her iPod anymore but I recognize it as a song on there by Carla Bruni, L'amoureuse. It's perfect; I can hear the lyrics in my head and I thank my French preparation for this upcoming audition. "I'm the lover and I have within my hands the most important thing," the song says and I totally agree.

She goes quiet after a while. I wake up smiling, happy to be waking up on Quinn's bed again which smells like her. I turn to my side and pull her pillow closer, embracing it as if it were Quinn herself in my arms. How can I miss her so much when she's only in the bathroom? I'm so falling in love with her. I open my eyes. The last relationship I was in was disastrous. Love quickly turned sour and we didn't last. I really like Quinn. I can't ruin this. I ponder over this thought for a long ten minutes until the bathroom door opens.

She comes out with her hair dripping and a thin coat of water on her delicious pale skin. I grin at her and get up, feeling liquid heat quickly pool between my thighs. I beckon her with one finger and she comes (hehe) and stands in front of me. I kiss her on the lips – pink and perfect – and she sighs. I'm content. "I couldn't stop thinking about you in the shower," she husks in my ear.

I'm intrigued and turned on, "Did you do something about it?" I ask, pleading for a yes and a no. How hot is the thought of Quinn touching herself in the shower thinking about me? At the same time, it's a little upsetting that it wasn't my fingers buried within her, making her whimper at my will. She sees the glint in my eyes and dips her head to hide the blush crawling up her cheeks. We've never even talked about this topic before but it's making my insides burn.

I hope this doesn't upset her but her lips curl up and she says, "I couldn't help it."

Fuck. I grab her cheeks with one hand and pull her face flush with mine. At the same time, I grab one of her wrists with my free hand and say, "show me?" It's a demand, but it is dripping in curiosity and vulnerability. I see her shake at my words. And then I feel her hand move on its own accord and settle on top of her sex, my eyes paying attention to her every move. She pushes me away with force and lies on her bed with her legs spread wide open and a finger already dipping in her folds.

I don't move. I can't think. My lungs stop working involuntarily. I can only watch as she watches me with heavy-lidded eyes. I feel warmth rise up my cheeks and I witness as her eyes darken impossibly so. The room is burning even though it's snowing outside. That finger dips in her entrance once easily. There is no resistance and she automatically bucks her hips toward her hand. The other hand is on her left nipple, toying with it. I clench my thighs and admire the beautiful scene unfolding before me.

She pumps with two fingers now and sometimes she'll experience with rubbing the hardened bundle of nerves. Her tongue sticks out to keep moistening dry, parted lips.

It's only when she says, "baby," in a desire-drenched tone of voice, with her eyes closed, that I close the distance to her and find her other nipple with my tongue. "Oh." She gasps. I keep my eyes open and just watch her face contort in pleasure because of her hand and my tongue.

I get too desperate though and I really want my hands on her, in her. So I forcibly pull her fingers out and immediately replace them with two of mine. She moans and widens her legs and cants her hips up. Her hand is resting on her stomach and I pick it up and suck on her fingers, tasting her. She grunts when I pick up my speed thrusting in her and I moan. When I let go of her fingers, I lick my lips, and her hands go up to fist the sheets above her head and her back arches off the mattress. I grab her right breast with my free hand and suck on her nipple. My arms are burning. She's panting loudly. She whimpers. I nibble at the soft skin of her breasts. I rub tighter circles, and dip further in, curling and rubbing and massaging.

She comes with my name on her lips. And I'm so drenched and so turned on that it doesn't take long for me to follow her. All she has to do is crawl down my body and kiss me between my legs and I'm a goner.

I'm gone in a moment in time of pleasure where my senses are only focused and connected to her. There's nothing and then there's lots of only her. And I smile. And she comes back up and kisses me deeply.

And I'm gone.

"I'm in trouble." I tell Santana and Kurt over lunch. We're having salads at the nice bistro we usually go to.

"How come?" Kurt chews on his lettuce. Santana pokes a grape tomato and looks at me with raised eyebrows.

I shake my head and a smile forms against my will, "I'm falling so hard and so fast for this girl."

Kurt squeals. Santana smirks. "How is that bad, Berry?" She asks.

I laugh at that and then I'm serious again, "I'm just a little scared," I admit. "She has this thing about her that I can't quite place but I know when I fall I'm all in and… what if…"

"Don't even go there, Rachel." Kurt warns me. "Quinn has been nothing but great to you. She won't hurt you."

"She's coming to Lima with me for Spring Break," I offer.

"Really?" He asks. Santana checks her phone and smiles; I assume Britt is texting her.

"Yeah. I'm taking her to meet my parents and I'll show her around… take her to the Lopez' barbeque."

Santana groans and then makes eye contact and I notice she's just kidding. We all laugh.

"Look, Rachel," she says and crosses a leg over the other. She pushes the salad bowl away from her and says, "She makes you happy and less annoying in general." Kurt agrees with a nod and I smack them both playfully on their shoulders. "I even like her a little bit. Don't over analyze your feelings; just let it be."

And this salad has never tasted so good.

I'm not exactly late, but I'm arriving to the Theater building later than I had planned to.

I go through the large, wooden door and sit on the bench outside of the room they're having auditions in. I'm not nervous. I'm merely wanting to get this done already. I'm made for this part. I am made for any part, really. There are two other girls out here, waiting for their names to be called before I get a chance to audition. I pull out the English version of the book from my bag and open it. It's crinkled and old. It used to be my father's but I made him mail it to me when I found out about the auditions.

One of the other girls eyes me with amused eyes. She's incredibly white with blue eyes that remind me of the sky. She's wearing red lipstick and a red beanie over her straightened hair. I raise my eyebrow but stay silent. I look back down to my book.

There are steps and then feet come into view. I trail my eyes up and make eye contact with the girl, who's smiling. "Hi," she says, almost timid.

"Hey." I say. I smile back, and realize she seems a little nervous to be speaking to me. She's messing with the hem of her shirt and keeps looking at her hands.

"Did you read the play a lot?" She asks, nodding at the book and then at my eyes. Striking, the contrast between her eyes and the red of her lips.

I nod in agreement, "Yeah." I motion with my hand for her to sit next to me and close the book with one finger still inside, bookmarking my place. She sits and keeps both hands on her knees, her back straight as a pole. The other girl, a short brunette with sunglasses looks at us suspiciously. I smile at her too, catching her off guard. She looks back down at her phone.

"I'm a huge fan of yours." The girl speaks up again. She's looking at me and keeps going, "I was in the play from last semester with you and you were great. I wasn't anyone special in it, but I admired your work and you're only a freshman!" She lightly touches my elbow and laughs.

I wonder how Quinn would react if she was here. "Thank you. I'm sure you were great in it, too." I feel bad for not remembering her though. "Are you here to try out for Roxane too?" I phrase it like that because I want her to be intimidated by me and to make sure I don't have competition for my part. She seems like a nice girl but I can't take any chances.

"Well, I was considering it, but now that I know you're here I'm pretty sure I won't get it." She shrugs. I chuckle.

"Don't be so sure, yet. Maybe I bomb the audition." I joke and we laugh.

"We both know that's unlikely, right?" She asks.

"Right." I admit and smile. She looks away bashfully.

She settles back on the chair and sighs, "Maybe you could give me some acting pointers sometime." She says.

I've been trying to keep the conversation light, fun, but still away from flirty territory. She seems to have a different idea from where our conversation was leading though. I contemplate on what I should say before saying, "look," I look at her and she smiles, "You seem like a very nice girl..."

"But?" Her smile falls.

"But I have a girlfriend and I don't know how appropriate that would be." I tell her in all honesty.

She looks slightly disappointed before shaking her head with sudden confidence and saying, "That's too bad. Can we at least be friends?"

She does look genuine when she asks that so I relent and extend a hand, "Rachel Berry."

"Harmony."

My audition is flawless. I read with the guy they're having play Cyrano - Jesse St. James, a ridiculously handsome junior - and the director, Will Schuester, applauds me with a great smile from his spot in the middle of the auditorium and tells me he'll let me know by Wednesday how I did. It's all just for the sake of the other people there because I worked with him on last semester's play so I'm sure I got this one on the bag. After my audition, he walks to where I was, talking to a girl from my theater class, and throws an arm over my shoulder.

"You did amazing, Rachel."

"Thanks, Schue." I tell him. "Do I really have to wait until Wednesday?"

He laughs loudly and leads me to his office. I lounge on the couch and he sits on top of his table. "I'm afraid so. Officially anyway, but you know you're the only choice. Not one of the girls who auditioned did nearly as good as you, and even if other girls had auditioned in the first place - I mean, no one compares to you." He twirls around on his chair and then narrows his eyes at me with a wicked smile on his face. "I might have a friend who works on Broadway coming to some of our rehearsals to watch you, Rachel."

I gasp in excitement and sit up on the couch, "Really?"

"Really! I finally convinced her and she said she'll give you a chance."

"Great! You're amazing, Schue." I tell him and get up. "I have to tell Quinn!"

His explosive laughter fills his small office again, "Go ahead."

"Thank you! Thank you!" I round his desk and throw my body on his, hugging him and then leave clutching my phone to my ear.

I find her in the gym, overlooking an extra practice Sylvester called because of the party Saturday. You would think she would be the one running the extra laps, but she just gets to watch the other cheerleaders do that. She's standing near Sylvester, with her arms crossed and a ponytail high up on her head. Her uniform is so tight on her body and it makes me hot. I watch them from afar and slowly walk up the bleachers to the exact same spot from that first game I had gone to.

Practice ends and she still has her back to me. They start picking up some props they were using for a routine and I simply get to see Quinn in her element. She tells the others what to do and they always come to her first before doing anything. She's not so verbose and she only smiles when they have to do the cheers. She keeps a straight face on most of the practice.

Her muscles flex as she picks up a trampoline from the floor and starts walking to the storage room. I bite my lip and appreciate the sway of her hips and the way her skirt sways when she walks.

She only sees me there when she's walking back in the gym. Immediately, a smile takes over her face and she makes her way over to me, with both hands on her hips and an eyebrow raised. "Hey, there." She says and sits next to me.

I grab her hand. "Hi."

She kisses me softly and then asks, "What's up?"

"I called you and you didn't pick up so I remembered you'd be here..."

"And here I am." She says with a gentle look.

"Schuester, the director of the play I auditioned for, says he has a friend who works on Broadway coming to watch our rehearsals." I blurt out. She instantly wraps her hands around my neck.

"That's great!"

"I know! I just had to tell someone before I died. I'll only really find out if I got the part for Roxane on Wednesday but..."

"You got it." She says without an ounce of doubt.

"Really?"

"Really, baby." She reassures me and then kisses me again. "I have to go back and help them put that stuff up. You can stay and wait for me if you want."

She runs back down and waves at me again from where she is before concentrating back on ordering her cheerleaders around.

I'm happy in simply watching her. They all file into the locker rooms and she comes out ten minutes later, showered and in clean clothes. She waits for me and I come down the bleachers before taking her hand. "I'll walk you to your dorm." I tell her.

"You're not staying tonight?"

"I'm sure your roommate's back, right?" She nods. "I doubt she'd be happy with the activities we like to do in there."

She sighs, "You're right. And I need to get some studying tonight and we both know you can't keep your hands away from me."

"Guilty as charged." I say. I wrap my arm around her waist.

We walk back in the brisk air of New York at night and snow flakes fall around us. The way back is only lighted by street lights along the way and you can see the air coming out of our mouths while we speak.

"So," I start, "I met some girl today who asked me for acting tips." I tell her and wait for her reaction. I've never seen jealous Quinn Fabray and I'm kind of wondering how she'll react to this information. "I'm pretty sure she was flirting with me."

She seems surprised for a split second and then she grins, "Are you trying to make me jealous, Rachel?"

I just shrug, "I'm just curious to see how you'd react when I told you I'm meeting her tomorrow for some private lessons."

At this she does stop walking. "What?" She asks with a cautious smile.

I laugh and pull her closer, "I'm just kidding. I told her I have a girlfriend."

She's clearly relieved, "Why would you do this to me?" She slaps my stomach lightly. "I don't like it when I'm jealous."

"Sorry. For some reason I just knew you'd be a jealous one."

"Do you want me to be?" She raises an eyebrow at me. I consider the question. I don't know. I know that I'd be jealous of her. I look away quickly and she keeps talking, "Rach, no games, right?" Her voice is serious and when I look back at her, I notice just how vulnerable her expression is. I guess she understood where I was coming from different than what I had really meant. I don't even know why I told her about meeting Harmony in the first place. Is she even supposed to feel threatened by her? Hell no. I nod.

"Absolutely no games."

"So I shouldn't be worried, right?" She asks, loosely holding on to my fingers.

"Definitely not." There's not an ounce of doubt in my voice when I let her know that.

"Good, because just yesterday I was bragging to Mike about you."

"I'm sorry, I don't know why -"

"Hey. It's okay." She tugs my hand when I look down. She smiles and asks, "would you be jealous of me?"

Without thinking I respond, "hell yeah. Are you kidding? I'd be so fucking jealous if I ever thought another person was looking at you." I admit and then widen my eyes. I said a little too much.

She bites her lip then wets them, "Good."

"Anyway," I'm dying to change subjects, "how was your test?"

"It was easy. I studied for it three hours yesterday and that's without counting the hours I studied the past week." She doesn't seem to mind the subject change.

"You're such a nerd." I tell her. We stop in front of her dorm building. I pull her into my arms and we end up loosing our footing when we hug. She laughs and I grin at the sound. "Je tiens dans me mains la seule de toutes les choses." I sing in her ear and then peck her on the cheek before saying goodbye.

Quinn Fabray: I just checked my grade. I got a 101. :)

Rachel Berry: Damn, my girlfriend is so freaking smart. Good job, baby.

Quinn Fabray: I'm feeling inspired. Hold on... I'm going to write you a poem.

Rachel Berry: Sweet. Maybe I'll be able to put music to it. ;)

Quinn Fabray: The strands in your eyes

Quinn Fabray: that color them wonderful

Quinn Fabray: Stop me and steal my breath

Quinn Fabray: And emeralds from mountains

Quinn Fabray: Thrust toward the sky never revealing their depth

Quinn Fabray: And tellll me that we belong together

Quinn Fabray: Dress it up with the trappings of love

Quinn Fabray: I'll be captivated

Quinn Fabray: I'll hang from your lips

Quinn Fabray: instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

Quinn Fabray: and I'll be your crying shoulder

Quinn Fabray: I'll be love's suicide

Quinn Fabray: I'll be better when I'm older

Quinn Fabray: I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Quinn Fabray: soooo do you likeee it? :)

Rachel Berry: Damn girl, you good.

Quinn Fabray: I miiiight have stolen the words from Edwin McCain's song I'll Be.

Rachel Berry: Yeahhh, I was gonna ask if some of that might be plagiarized lol

Quinn Fabray: Maybee.

Rachel Berry: You could've AT LEAST cited your source... ;)

Quinn Fabray: Okayyy, fine. How do I cite that? Like: McCain, Edwin. "I'll Be." 1998.

Rachel Berry: That'll do. Thanks. Now I can rest in peace. :)

Quinn Fabray: :) You're welcome. They might not be my words but I mean them all.

Rachel Berry: aww. How cute. Well, in that case it's my turn.

Rachel Berry: Rain falls angry on the tin roof as we lie awake in my bed

Rachel Berry: You're my survival you're my living proof. Our love is alive and not dead

Rachel Berry: And telll me that we BELONG TOGETHER

I get a call early the next morning. My eyes are still glued shut. Santana growls from her bed and demands, "shut that up, Berry. Now."

"I'm working on it." I tell her and search for my phone hidden by my covers. It keeps ringing, loud and annoying. I still can't find it. Santana is complaining. It stops ringing.

"Thank good-" Santana is interrupted by the ringing again. "Fucking phone! Pick that up, Rachel!" Santana's first class today got cancelled so she would be getting extra sleep if it weren't for my phone ringing incessantly.

I panic, throw the covers off of me, and jump to my feet. I hear my phone land somewhere under my bed, so I bend and look for it under there. It's near the wall, so I climb back on my bed and stretch an arm in the gap between the bed and wall to retrieve my phone. Without checking who could be calling I pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Rachel?" It's Will Schuester, the director of the play.

"Hi!" I leave the room and talk to him outside in the hallway, to let Santana go back to sleep.

"Good news for you!" He's practically yelling in my ear. "You got Roxane! Which is no surprise. We were all expecting that, right?" His laugh cuts through the line, loud and obnoxious but I don't mind because I'm also laughing loudly and obnoxious.

"But I thought I only got the news tomorrow!" I don't even know why I'm in shock honestly, because I was one hundred percent sure I'd get it.

"Well, those are just formalities. But I finished auditions last night and I couldn't wait. You're playing Roxane opposite Jesse's Cyrano. Um..." He pauses to think and shuffles some papers in his hand, "and Harmony Willows, she's playing the duenna. So it might be a good idea for you and her to get together sometime and hang out." He says.

Harmony Willows. She's the girl I met during auditions. She got a part! She's my companion/chaperone. I'll have lots of scenes with her. I bite my lip, "Okay. Thank you so much, Will. I'll see you at practice."

"Congratulations, Rach. See you Thursday."

I hang up and go back to my room, smiling because this play and his friend coming is one step closer to Broadway. No, I don't expect to be famous overnight, but I plan to star on my first Broadway play by the end of Sophomore year. This is exciting. It's only... 6:35 in the morning but the excitement won't let me go back to sleep. So I get changed and go work out.

Kurt also scored a part on the play apparently. He's playing Le Bret - Cyrano's best friend - and Blaine ended up as Christian - the dumb, handsome soldier. The three of us are eating wraps outside of the dance studio. I'm on a break and Kurt is waiting for his next class to begin. Blaine is just there for Kurt. He doesn't have a class until later. They're both sitting with their backs to the wall, and I'm with my legs crossed in front of them.

"Harmony Willows... for some reason that name sounds extremely familiar but why?" Kurt muses out loud.

"I have no idea," I tell him honestly. "I literally only met her yesterday."

Blaine's staring at his turkey wrap, chewing pensively and mumbling, "Willows, Willows... Willows?"

"We know her, right, Blaine?" Kurt snaps Blaine's attention back up to him.

"Right," he agrees with a nod, "but I have no idea where from either."

"Well, my first acting experience was in utero, and I'm a Gerber baby." Her voice makes us all turn to the left to face where she appeared out of nowhere. She's standing there with a smug smile, knowing she caught us talking about her.

Kurt is the first to recover from the embarrassment, "That's not it..." He narrows his eyes at her and then looks back at Blaine. Blaine shakes his head to let Kurt know that he's right, that's not it.

"I don't know where from then. Maybe you got me confused with someone else. She sits down next to me, crossing her legs like mine, and smiles at me. "Can you believe it? I'm going to be in scenes with you! That means that you'll have to give me pointers."

She touches me lightly on the shoulder and pushes it. My eyes snap to Kurt's. He doesn't have a good expression on his face. "Maybe we should go, sweetie." He tells Blaine.

"Right," he says suspiciously and gets up, taps his butt to clean it, and then extends a hand to help Kurt get up. "We'll see you girls on Thursday for rehearsals, huh?" He says and throws his backpack on one arm, holding on to Kurt's hand with the other. They swing their arms as they leave.

"I don't think your friends like me." Harmony says and scoots to sit in front of me, where Kurt was.

"They do. It's just that they can't remember where they know you from." I state, matter-of-factly.

"Weird. So, we should read over some lines before our first rehearsal right? You should have my number and we could meet up sometime before Thursday." I don't have time to think of a response because she's already pulling on my right hand and writing a number down with a sharpie she had ready. She finishes writing and signs HarmonyW with a smiley face at the end. "I'll see you around, Rach." She says before leaving.

Quinn calls for a cab and we make our way down the stairs of my dorm to the lobby. We're waiting for him to get there. She's sitting on a chair and I'm on her lap. She keeps running a hand over my cheeks and making me squirm. It makes her laugh. There are various people around us in the lobby. Some people are huddled near the stairs singing while some dude plays the guitar. A couple is making out by the window. There's a group from a club on campus handing out flyers to anyone passing by the piano.

Quinn's phone starts vibrating in her tight pocket, making us both giggle at the feeling. She fishes it out and announces the taxi is there. We make our way, with her grabbing my hand. We keep close because it's still snowing and it's really cold.

She opens the door for me. She guides me inside with a hand on my back. She's the one who tells the driver where to take us. I smile like a fool the entire time. I have the tickets to the concert we're going to in my coat pocket and I keep touching it while my hands warm up in there.

"Are you excited?" She asks with a glint in her eyes.

"So much." I tell her and peck her. "This is going to be great. I love Feist!"

"I know." She says confidently. She grabs my right hand and is playing with my fingers when all of a sudden she stops. The cab of the car is dark but she can read the scribbled word and numbers on my palm. I freeze. I had completely forgotten about the number. It's not a big deal. Her voice comes out questioning, "Rachel?"

"It's just a number, baby. She wrote it down without me asking for it. I completely forgot about it till now." I tell her the truth. I don't know why I'm so worried because I didn't do anything wrong.

She shakes her head. She's still smiling but she has a frown and she looks like she's trying hard to comprehend what I told her. "Is this the same girl from auditions?"

I nod.

"Is she pretty?" She tilts her head to the side and raises both eyebrows, scrutinizing my face.

I think back to Harmony. Is she pretty? Does it matter? I feel like it's a tricky question so I just say, "You're the prettiest."

She chuckles, "if I'm prettiest it implies that she is pretty. Hmm..." She looks at the number on my hand again.

"Baby," I say and turn my hand down so she can't see the number anymore, "Listen, she got the part of the duenna... she's in a lot of scenes with me. You don't have to be jealous. I promise."

She sighs as if expelling every jealous thought from within her and gives me another smile, "I believe you. But I'm still going to come to your first rehearsal to meet the rest of your cast." It's not a question. She's not asking me if it's okay, she's letting me know she'll be there. I think it's the first time I've seen Quinn act like this toward me. I heard of her telling Sylvester what to do; I've seen her boss her cheerleaders around. I know she has a reputation of knowing when to assert what she wants. It actually doesn't bother me though; it kind of turns me on a little bit.

I bite my lip to hide the smile creeping up and she just looks at me with a smug look. She purses her lips. I reach for her neck and pull her into me. "Whatever you say, boss."

The concert is amazing. I sang along to every song, making Quinn my audience for most of them. It isn't a huge concert; it is intimate and that only makes it better. Quinn is great the entire time. I have the best time at the concert and I end up taking Quinn home and we are very thankful Santana is at Britt's.

We're on the stage, looking at Will out in the audience. He's deep in thought. A hand is scratching his curly hair behind his neck. "Maybe we should try it the other way." He points at Jesse and at Kurt. They walk across the stage and start repeating their lines. I see Quinn sitting on a chair near Will. Her feet are up on the back of the chair in front of her and she's reading what seems to be her Economics book. We've been here since 6 and it's almost 8:30. Quinn insisted on coming with me.

"Is your girlfriend going to be here for every rehearsal?" Harmony asks. She's beside me, holding tightly to her script. It's not our scene yet, so we're just standing off to the side where Roxane's balcony is supposed to go.

I linger my eyes on Quinn and then look at Harmony. "I'm not sure actually." I smile and read my lines coming up. "I wouldn't mind it though."

"Is she the jealous type?" She sounds concerned. She braves a glance in Quinn's way and when I look, I realize Quinn's eyes are pointedly fixed on Harmony.

I giggle, "She clearly can be. Don't worry. She won't actually bite you. She's only here to mark her territory." The thought of possessive Quinn just makes me hot and I feel a certain something down in between my legs.

"Alright, guys!" Will interrupts our conversation. "Let's take it from when Roxane comes out to the balcony."

Fifteen minutes later, Will is dismissing us. "Great job guys." He tells everyone. "For the first day we actually did pretty good. Just make sure you know your lines better when we rehearse tomorrow. We'll probably only keep rehearsals to three times a week. Eventually we'll start making them more frequent, okay? Alright! See you guys around." He starts clapping and everyone follows suit.

When the clapping and excitement dies down, I grab my duffle bag and say good bye to Kurt, Blaine, Harmony and Jesse before making my way to Quinn.

She closes her book and stands up just in time for me to give her a bone crushing hug. "Your eyes on me while I act make me crazy." I whisper.

She whispers back, "watching you act makes me crazy." She kisses the side of my neck where her nose had been nuzzling and kisses my cheek. "Is that Harmony?" She asks with a raised eyebrow at the girl on stage, pretending to be in a conversation with Schue, but really watching Quinn and I.

I sigh. "Yes. I think she's afraid of you." I blurt out with a laugh.

"She should be." Quinn tells me all serious. When my eyes widen she laughs, "I'm kidding, babe. Come on. Introduce me to your cast. Except for Blaine and Kurt - I know them!" I tighten my fingers around one of her wrists and pull her toward the stage.


	12. Human (The Killers)

My girlfriend and that other less important girl who is in half her scenes are on the stage, watching Will. He's standing two rows in front of me with a hand on his chin and another itching his curls. "Maybe we should try it the other way." He says and points at Jesse and at Kurt. It's the sixth time they're trying this scene for the boys and I'm getting bored. I look back down to my Economics book and try to understand the concept as the guys walk across the stage and say their lines again.

I know Harmony is talking about me. I don't know what she's saying but when I look up to check on Rachel and Harmony, I see them whispering at each other. I have my gaze fixed on Harmony and I'm not even trying to be threatening, it's just that I can't stand her already. And we haven't even met yet. I close the book with one finger inside to mark my spot and watch as Harmony asks something to Rachel and then they both look at me.

I insisted on coming to at least Rachel's first rehearsal because I need Harmony to know that she has no chance with my girl. I even left practice early just so I could be here for it. I'm still in my cheer leading outfit - with sweats on under my skirt because it's way too cold -, and honestly I hope this will work out in my favor.

"Alright, guys!" Will's voice cuts through my thoughts and it breaks the moment and the tension. "Let's take it from when Roxane comes out to the balcony."

I watch as Rachel suddenly flips on her character and is being wooed by Jesse's character on stage, even though she really thinks it's Blaine's character - Christian. It amazes me how amazing she is. It turns me on in such a way that it upsets me there are people around and I can't do anything about it. I shake my head and go back to reading some more of my book when Will makes the boys go over their lines without Rachel.

Fifteen minutes later, Will is dismissing them. After a lot of clapping, Rachel jumps down the stage with her duffle bag and makes her way to me. I love watching how she is so comfortable in the auditorium, around her theater friends. I stand up just in time to catch her in my arms.

"Your eyes on me while I act make me crazy." She whispers.

"Watching you act makes me crazy." I kiss the side of her neck and then her cheek. "Is that Harmony?" I ask though I know the answer. I raise an eyebrow at Harmony on stage, listening to our conversation while she pretends to be talking to Will.

She sighs. "Yes. I think she's afraid of you." She laughs.

That's good. That means my presence alone is terrifying. "She should be." I'm serious but I don't want to freak out Rachel. When her eyes go wide, I laugh to calm her down and say, "I'm kidding, babe. Come on. Introduce me to your cast. Except for Blaine and Kurt - I know them!"

She grabs me by the wrist and pulls me up to the stage where Kurt and Blaine greet me with a hug. "Hi!" They say at the same time.

"Hi! You guys are amazing. I'm so excited to see this play when it's ready." I tell them. Rachel looks at me with excited eyes. Then she excuses us and makes her way to Jesse and Will.

"You guys," she calls out to grab their attention. The two curly-haired men turn around to face us and they both have elated smiles on their lips. I smile back. The entire time I can feel Harmony watching us from the side where she's talking to some blonde girl. "This is my girlfriend, Quinn Fabray. Quinn Fabray, this is Jesse St. James - he plays the lead, Cyrano de Bergerac." We shake hands. "And this, is Will Schuester, the director."

"Hi." I say and we also shake hands.

"Hi, she's said so much about you." Will offers. I laugh politely.

"All good, I hope." I look at her with pursed lips and they all nod.

"Definitely." Will says and laughs.

Jesse flips a hair lock out of his face, "Your girlfriend is a star, Quinn." I like him. He doesn't seem like a threat only because he seems too gay. He smiles at Rachel and she ducks her head.

"Thank you, Jesse."

"I'm sure Rachel has told you about my friend who works on Broadway coming sometime to watch our rehearsals." Will says. I feel Rachel grab my hand and intertwine our fingers.

"She did. I'm really excited for that."

"Her name's April Rhodes, Quinn!" Rachel says, bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. "She's coming to see Jesse and I. Will has told her so much about us."

I smile, "You guys are amazing. You need recognition."

Will nods, "She's going to love them. I promise. But, I really have to go now." He checks his watch and looks at us apologetically, "I have a dinner date." He smiles. "Jesse, will you walk with me? I have to explain some -" He starts saying something to Jesse as they walk away together, hands gesturing all over, as if they're talking scenes.

Rachel turns to me and grabs both hands, "Are you ready?" She asks with a smirk. I know she's asking if I'm ready to meet Harmony, who is still there.

"Sure. Introduce me."

"Be nice." She warns me.

"Have you ever seen me not nice?" I ask and raise an eyebrow.

"Well," she says and looks at someone behind me. She waves at them and then makes eye contact again. "I've heard things. You've never not been nice to me but I don't know how you'll be with her. Remember that she's no competition to you, okay? I promise." I nod obediently and she pecks me. I lick my lips and close my eyes and when I open them again she's smiling. "Come on."I let her drag me to Harmony.

Harmony obviously knows we're making our way over so she excuses herself from the blonde chick and turns to face us. "Hi!" She says with a bright tone of voice. She appears confident but I'm so good at reading people. By the way her upper lip keeps twitching, I know she's nervous. She keeps drying her hand on her jeans. Her voice cracks just a little when she says, "You're the girlfriend." She eyes my uniform up and down. I cock one hip to the side and stand in my head cheerleader stance but with an inviting, polite smile on.

Rachel nods vehemently, honestly proud to be holding my hand and says, "Harmony, this is the girlfriend, Quinn Fabray. Quinn, this is Harmony. She's the duenna in the play." Always polite, I offer my hand.

I can feel her shaking even though it's barely noticeable. I let go of her hand and instantly find the small of Rachel's back and let my hand rest there. I notice when Harmony takes notice of my move. My eyes don't leave Harmony's. "You're very talented." I say.

"Thank you, Quinn. I've heard a lot about you."

I laugh and say, "Apparently a lot of people in this play have. And you guys have just started rehearsing." I look at Rachel and she shrugs casually.

"I like talking about you. You're my favorite thing to talk about."

Harmony aws, loudly. I look at her with the same polite smile I've had on since speaking to Will and Jesse. It's fake but I've practiced it enough before so I'm sure she can't tell. It's all teeth and no emotion. "Are you a freshman, Harmony?"

"Yes. I am." Her eyes bounce every where around the stage, obviously trying to find an excuse to leave by now.

"Well," I say and pull Rachel tighter, "You take good care of my girl while you're the duenna. I trust you." My eyes are practically digging into her soul. To the outsider, it'd just look and sound like a casual conversation between two strangers. But Harmony can tell; and I can tell she can that I'm telling her that I'll come after her if she tries anything. And I won't play nice.

She laughs to herself when we break eye contact and says, "You have my word."

"Good," I say. "because you don't want me on your bad side." It's a clear threat. She flinches and takes a step back and Rachel tugs my hand with both hands to pull my attention back to her.

"Babe!" she hisses.

I'm still as cool as ever. I turn to her and feign innocence, "what? She knows I'm just kidding, right?" I smile and wink at Harmony.

She nods, still clearly shocked but not willing to admit she's afraid, "Yeah. Of course. Anyway, I gotta go see something with... Eric." She lies and disappears backstage.

I can't help but laugh.

"Quinn." Is all that Rachel needs to say for me to stop and look at her. She has a frown on and she won't look at me. Oh no. Are we about to have our first fight?

I come closer and place a hand on her cheek, "What is it?"

"That was mean." She mumbles and nuzzles her cheek closer against my open palm.

"I know. That was the point." I say.

"You said you would be nice." She points out.

I try to argue with her, "I know, Rach. But come on. You saw her!"

She shakes her head, not understanding. "Saw her what? She was polite the entire time. She was already nervous- there was no need for that."

I'm confused. I don't want to jump to conclusions so I say, "I thought that's what you wanted..."

"It wasn't, okay? Let's just go." She grabs my hand but she doesn't interlock our fingers. She simply pulls me out of the dark theater and out into the night. We walk back to her dorm in silence for most part except for a few awkward sighs from my part.

Eventually I'm tired of the silence. "Rachel, are we fighting?" I worry my lip. We're crossing the Student Union.

She shakes her head, "No. It's just -"

"What is it?" I press.

"I don't know... I really don't know!" She throws her hands up in the air and starts walking again. I follow after her.

"Hey! Wait." I grab her wrist and pull her back around. "Hold on. Let's talk about this, okay?"

She laughs and shivers at the same time, "Oh my god, I don't know what the hell's gotten into me. I'm sorry." She apologizes and pulls me in for a kiss.

I stumble backwards but catch her and when she finally settles down in a tight hug around my waist, I try again, "Want to tell me what happened?"

"Is 'I'm not sure' a good enough explanation?" She asks. I think about it for a second.

"For now." I tell her. "Let's keep walking, huh?"

"I fucking hate the girl!" I tell Britt and Mary once Britt sits down. I texted her on the way back to my room because I just had to tell someone who wouldn't judge me.

"Wait," Mary says and stands up from her desk to move to sit on her bed. "Back up. Who do we hate?" She asks. I appreciate her already taking my side without even knowing who I'm talking about. Mary and I have been talking more often. Usually when I'm not out with Britt or Rachel, I'm with Mary. It surprised me, too, but she's a really good listener.

"Harmony Willows. That bitch."

Mary raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. She simply lies down and takes off her phone to start texting.

"Why do we hate her?" Britt asks. My head snaps to her on my bed. I'm sitting on my desk.

"Because! She's beautiful. And she's talented! She's in theater with Rachel. Most of her scenes - if not all - are with Rachel! And she's totally into my girlfriend." I explain myself.

Mary says, "she sounds like trouble. So you met her tonight?"

"I did."

"And?"

"I fucking hate the girl!" I reinforce.

Mary laughs. Britt says, "How did it go? Meeting her?"

I scoff, "she was totally scared of me but she was trying not to show. And then I basically threatened her and Rachel got upset at me for it."

"Why?" Mary asks.

"Why what?" I ask back.

"Why did Rachel get upset?" Britt explains, looking at Mary for confirmation that she's right. Mary nods.

I shrug, "I'm not sure. She said she wasn't sure herself."

"Weird." Mary mumbles.

"Yeah, I know." I agree and my shoulders sag.

Britt crosses her legs. "Hm, well, what has Rachel told you about this girl?"

"First she told me she met a girl during auditions and that the girl was flirting with her. Then she said not to worry."

To Britt, this seemed like the perfect solution, "So don't worry."

"Babe?" I come up behind Rachel while she's waiting outside of her dance class for it to start. I always love it when she's in her dancing clothes - something about it is so hot.

She twirls around with a smile, "hey!" She throws her arms around me and hugs me.

"I'm sorry about last night." I say, "I could've been nicer to her and to you. I trust you so I don't know why I was still worried about Harmony."

She shifts her weight in my arms and looks around before saying, "you shouldn't have to apologize. I was the one that even started this whole thing. I'm sorry for it but you should know I only have eyes for you and that she won't be a problem. At least not for me. Don't stress out okay?"

Her hands are threading lightly through my hair, calming me down, "Okay." I lean forward slowly and keep my eyes open locked on hers, pouring all of my trust open for her to take. She smiles and leans in the rest of the way to kiss me like I'm asking her to. A couple of her friends pass behind us and file in the studio. I let her go and she smiles sweetly.

"I'll see you later." I nod and kiss her again before lightly tapping her butt and watching her squirm with a giggle and go to class.

I text Mike to see if he wants to do anything, and he texts me back with a 'I'm making lunch - come over' with an address attached to his text. Sometimes I'm glad college classes don't usually get substitutes when cancelled.

I make my way over quickly and he opens the door shirtless and in sweatpants. Tina is there. Somehow I don't feel awkward about this whole setup and sit down next to her. "Sorry for intruding - I had no idea you'd be here."

She laughs and says, "I don't really care. This will be nice." Mike glances at us and then hands me over a bowl of fried rice with beef broccoli.

"Oh my God. This looks amazing." I say and make a show sniffing in the smell.

"So," Mike says, "I hear around that some Harmony girl is completely throwing off your harmony..." He cringes at his words and Tina laughs at him before taking a bite of her own food.

I shake my head, "how did you even hear that?"

"Brittany told Kurt who told Mercedes who told Tina."

I laugh. Of course they would all know. Besides Rachel probably told Kurt and Blaine already anyway so it's not like Britt's to blame. And it doesn't matter anyway. "Yeah." I try to make a face that's less of a grimace and more like a smile but I know I fail at that, "She's like, in Rachel's new play and all that shit -" I say and blush before apologizing and then continue when neither of them seem to care. "I just don't trust the girl. I mean, the first thing I heard about her was that she had flirted with Rachel and I'm pretty sure there's more to her than we all know..."

"Kurt mentioned recognizing her name from somewhere though at the time him and Blaine couldn't quite place her and I haven't talked to them since..." Tina offers.

"Yeah." I say and stretch out my legs in front of me and look at the ceiling, "I mean. God knows that I don't have any reasons not to trust Rachel but - I just can't wrap my head around having this girl be with her whenever I'm not, you know? I just know she's trying to steal Rachel from me. Just... not exactly sure how." I finally let out my real thoughts about this whole thing. I know girls like Harmony Willows. Pretentious and trying to show they're more confident than they truly are and use it to their advantage. I used to be girls like Harmony Willows.

She thinks I don't see past her little scheme of pretending to just be Rachel's friend while blatantly flirting with her. But I saw her look at me when we met. She was challenging me. And damn her if she thinks I won't go all vicious on her if she just thinks she can take Rachel like that.

The next time Rachel and I meet I'm not really expecting to hear from her what she says.

"So, wait. Explain that again, please." I say as Rachel unwraps from me and gets up to grab a water bottle from her bag. I feel cold and for the first time I consider the fact that maybe Harmony might have an upper hand. She unscrews the cap and looks at me with a smile.

"Okay." She says with a tilt of her head and a childlike glint she gets in her eyes after we spent the night and morning fucking. She came over after her rehearsal last night. It's Wednesday and it's way too early to be up but I do have cheerleading practice soon anyway. She takes another swig and pulls on her yoga pants and bright orange wife beater. She throws her hair in a messy ponytail and stares at me lying on my pillows. "April Rhodes came to our rehearsal for the first time yesterday, right?" She asks slowly as if she's explaining something to Britt and not me - a 4.0 gpa student who still manages to lead a cheerleading squad at an incredibly competitive university in New York. I nod in agreement and grab the water bottle from her. She glares at me but it's never menacing and releases the hold before continuing. "And she's like involved with a lot of shows in Broadway including her own and stuff. They are scouting in universities and having auditions and looking for girls around my age for a new role in a new off-Broadway play that could possibly get picked up. They really believe in it and stuff and they need someone to lead it and be the face that'll forever be associated with that role, kinda like when you think of Wicked you can't help picture Idina Menzel as Elphaba."

I mumble some noise to let her know I'm still listening even though I close my eyes and rest my hands on my stomach. I feel the mattress dip when she gets up again and I feel her throw a towel at me.

"You have to get ready for practice. Go shower." I open an eye and squint. She laughs at me and comes closer. "You're too adorable." She sits back down with her thigh next to my head and runs a hand through my hair before bending over and kissing my temple.

"I'll shower as soon as you finish explaining..."

"Right." She perks up and keeps running her hand through my hair, which really does not help with the whole getting up to shower. "Well! Mr. Willows is April Rhodes' business partner and he has a huge amount of pull and, I mean, whoever he wants will be picked."

I process this information again. "Mr. Willows as in Harmony Willows?"

"Yeah. Mr. Willows, Ezra Willows - Harmony's father."

This is just way too good. I wonder if Kurt and Blaine had figured this out yet and make a note to ask Blaine about it later. Rachel apparently is too excited about this to understand that this is horrible. Well, not for her career but for me. The thought probably makes me a bitch but how can I not think this when I've been worrying about this girl ever since Rachel brought her up as a joke?

For Rachel this is an awesome career move. So I push down my feelings about the girl and ask anyway, "So being best buds with his daughter wouldn't hurt, huh?" I finally stand up around Rachel and start gathering my things for the day.

She picks up something in my voice and narrows her eyes at me carefully, "Well, no. It wouldn't. But - it's not like I'm using; we're sorta already friends."

"Of course you are." I say under my breath and grab a pair of underwear and training bra to head to the bathroom. "I'm going to shower now. I have to be in the gym within twenty minutes." I say and ignore the clear look of confusion on Rachel's face.

So maybe I'm not the definition of perfect girlfriend this morning because I'm still dealing with this new aspect about Rachel and Harmony's whatever. And maybe it's kind of about time that I can be upset at something Rachel does because - let's face it. I can't be okay with this entire thing and she can't expect me to be either.

You know when someone says something to you that as soon as you hear, you know you're going to be mean about it? And even though you don't want to, you can't stop the words from falling out of your mouth? You keep talking and digging your whole deeper and you're hurting yourself just as much as you're hurting them. his is basically how I'm feeling right now. I guess it's from reactions like this that people would say I'm kind of a bitch. Even though I've been working really hard for Rachel to never have to see this side of me but isn't this what relationships are about anyway? Knowing every thing about a person and liking them anyway? I just hope she doesn't get so turned off by this - I can't help being who I am. When I feel threatened, I basically act like an asshole. Even if I kind of hate myself for it as I'm doing it. She didn't push on the subject before I left for practice but I also know that she will eventually bring it up.

Still, I feel like shit as I'm waiting in line at The Lounge for some food because of how short I had been this morning with Rachel after my shower. I don't even think she knows where this is all coming from but I just kind of have to process. I'm pondering over our talk that morning when I feel a hand drop heavily on my shoulder and turn me around.

"Hey." I say. My voice is a lot more tired than I'm willing to let up for Santana but she doesn't take a jab at it.

Instead she says, "So my roommate comes back home today and she won't shut the fuck up because apparently her girlfriend is being 'distant.'" She says with air quotes and everything.

I shuffle my feet and take a step forward when the line moves. "I don't really want to talk about it, Santana."

She pulls her backpack higher up on her shoulder and says, "I think it's cute you think you have an option. Grab your food and come sit with me and Britt." She points behind her and when I turn, Brittany is sitting on a table by the door looking at me with a bright smile. She waves. I wave back.

"Do you guys want me to grab anything for you?" I ask, but only because I'm polite and want to drag this.

"No. We ate." She says and leaves to sit with Britt.

"Talk." She instructs before I even sit down with my plate of spaghetti.

I glare at her and then look at Britt who still has a bright smile on her face and - I can't help it but let down some of my guards around her. I smile back and duck to peck her on the cheek, "Hi, Britt."

"Hey, Q. You look - confused." She says. And I never expect Britt to say less than the truth so I acknowledge it and sit down in front of the two.

I twirl the spaghetti with my fork - and a fleeting thought about how Sue let them serve us so many carbs invades my thoughts - before I start. "I'm really upset at Rachel but I don't even know how to bring it up without being a jerk."

"Why are you upset at her?" Britt asks. Santana just stares at me waiting for an honest answer so I sigh.

"Because I hate the idea of her spending time with Harmony in any way, shape, or form. And now she's super excited about this whole deal with Ezra Willows being Harmony's father and it wouldn't be fair of me to tell her not to spend time with her even before this particular information came about. But - I sort of wish she already knew that. And I wish she wouldn't be so -" I stop talking then because I know I'm making myself sound much worse by the minute.

Santana scratches the back of her neck before saying, "Yeah so she told me about that and she was very surprised when I explained to her that it might have to do with why you're being weird."

I raise my eyebrows at her, "really? What'd she say?"

Santana looks awkward for a second and when Britt looks at her encouragingly with a smile she turns to me and says, "she said you wouldn't be that selfish."

Fuck.

It's been two days since my conversation with Santana and Brittany and when Rachel and I manage to see each other (with her classes and now rehearsals and my classes and practices), I'd like to believe we're both thankful about it. And yeah, I'm a little awkward but it doesn't matter. I press myself up to her against her closed door and kiss her senseless.

"We're not going out tonight." I tell her. Usually on Friday nights we find something couple-y to do in the city, or we're dragged to a club by our friends. But, tonight I'm so tired and I haven't seen her in what it feels like it's the longest amount of time in our relationship ever. My hands automatically find her ass and pull her up. She wraps her legs around my waist.

"I fucking miss you." She says as she wraps her arms around my neck and plays with the hair behind my ears.

"I miss fucking you." I say back and earn a growl from her. I laugh and kiss her again. "But I miss you too."

"I think we're going to get in our first fight tonight." She admits and drops forehead to my shoulder.

I try to ignore the urge to leave when she says that but instead I hug her. She hugs me back. Tighter.

I reluctantly let go of her and step away. She's actually only wearing one of my cheerleading hoodies from high school and soft pink boyshorts. I can see the curves of her ass barely peeking as she runs a hand through her long brown hair and sits on her bed.

"I know you're upset at me." She starts. I stay quiet. "You've been distant and... I don't know how to deal with that, Quinn. This is the first time something happens to us that kind of makes me want to yell at you." I look down and then when I look back up at her she keeps talking. "I'm not going to stop talking to or hanging out with Harmony. Not because I want to spite you or see if you get jealous," she throws me a look I can't quite describe, "and it's not also only because of her father. She's a friend." And as soon as she's finished saying that she adds, "Okay, maybe he father has a lot to do with it." She stands up and makes her way over to me and grabs both of my hands. "This is really important to me."

"I know." I admit, "and I understand that, Rach. But she's like, in love with you and I know she's going to use this against us." I tell her more sure about it by the minute.

"First of, she's not in love with me. I know you think that, baby, but she doesn't even think about me that way anymore."

"How do you know?"

"I just do." She says, sort of all know-it-all and not in a cute way.

I back away from her and take off my coat and scarf before looking at her again. "She's kind of a bitch and I gathered that from that one interaction we had."

"Just give her a chance." Rachel says.

Uh oh.

Remember that thing about saying words even though you know they're awful and you shouldn't say them as you're saying them?

"Why the hell should I give her a chance? Rachel! How can you not see that she's going to use this to take you from me? She's probably used to having daddy give her everything. Of course she'll have him offer the role and then you'll feel like you have to pay her back for it because even though you're talented you'll just know you only got it because of her. And she'll want more than friendship. And then what will you do? It's not like you're going to throw away the chance of a lifetime because of a girlfriend you just met at the beginning of the school year. Damn it."

"I've wanted this for my entire life, Quinn. You're supposed to be on my side. I cannot just throw it away because -"

I interrupt her before she finishes the sentence, "I know! I just said that! I know you won't throw it away for me. And trust me, I know it's not even my place to ask, which is why I'm beating myself up for even considering that." Then I feebly add, "and I am on your side."

"I honestly didn't think you were this selfish." She's quiet for a long time. Then she closes her eyes and exhales slowly. "I was going to say... I can't throw it away because I love you. And you're right. It's not fair of you to ask. And I'm sorry. I already told you I'm not going to stop hanging out with her. And yeah, maybe I'll only get it because she'll ask her daddy to give it to me but - well at least I know she believes in me."

I literally flinch at the word. "What? Rach," I close the distance between us. "I believe in you. Completely. And I mean that in a, I completely trust you when you tell me you feel nothing for her and also in a, 'I know you'll make it to Broadway' way. I just... I don't understand why it has to be now. Or this way for that matter."

The look she gives me makes me want to cry. "Fuck you, Quinn." She says and starts digging through her shorts drawer. She pulls out a pair of basketball shorts. "You haven't known me my whole life, okay? I've worked so fucking hard for this. This chance - it's too good. And it's not like I'm fucking anyone to make it - I'm simply being friends with a girl with really important connections." She pulls on her shorts in one motion and then makes her way to the door. She opens it and says, "maybe you shouldn't stay over tonight."

I don't stay over. Obviously. Mostly because I wonder if I'm overreacting about the entire thing. But it's worrisome. I don't have a clue what to do so instead I just let Rachel set the pace of when we'll talk about this again, or when we'll talk again at all.

Spring Break is in a week. It's been... shit. It's been days since we've talked. Almost a week, to be exact. I'm lying in bed, re-reading my texts with Mike and Santana and Britt about the situation... I miss her. So much. But I won't give in. She needs to make the move. And then I start to wondering if maybe I should push her but... And then, it hits me like a freaking train. I hadn't even noticed it when she said it. And now that I think about it - after a week - it probably seems like I don't care. So I fumble around for clothes in my poorly-lit dorm room, trying to not make noise and wake up my roommate. I quickly change and make my way to Rachel's room as fast as I can.

Before she even finishes opening the door, my lips are on hers. She takes three steps back but holds me up steadly and when she speaks, her breath comes out uneven. "Quinn... I -"

"I love you, too."

"It only registered what you said a week later. I'm sorry. I was so invested in trying not to talk to you until you talked to me..."

"One of the reasons I didn't call or text or contact you - for as hard as it was - it's because you didn't even acknowledge it."

I hide my face behind both hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But I do. And -" I make a decision and then I tell myself I will stick to it. "As much as I'm not a fan of Harmony... I am happy you get this opportunity for you. I promise. And I'll even be supportive of it and not the shitty girlfriend you had to deal with lately."

"That makes me really happy." Rachel says and pulls me on top of her, on her bed. "And I'm sorry."

"What for?" I ask as I nuzzle into her. I missed her. So much it physically hurts.

"For even making her a big deal to start with. If it hadn't been that one stupid little comment."

"Hey." I say and press a finger to her lips. "No more talking about her, okay? Let's just get through this week because I'm dying for Spring Break with you anddddd... you should so kiss me right now." I tell her, leaning forward and capturing her lips.


	13. I Want the World to Stop (Belle & Sebastian)

Two days. Two fucking long days without seeing or touching my girlfriend. Rehearsals are taking most of the free time I had before. Sure there are texts and calls but it's definitely not the same and definitely not acceptable when we attend the same school. Our classes are so far away from each other though that we never run into each other unless one of us is looking for the other.

Tonight she's coming over though. She's coming over and we're going to have a night in and it'll be amazing. If not for the fact that I think she's upset with me. I'm not necessarily sure why. Santana says that it's because of Harmony and her father but I refuse to believe that. I don't accept the idea that Quinn would be upset at me for chasing after what I want professionally.

I'm throwing on a sweater after my shower when she knocks on the door. I forgo looking for shorts because whatever - she's seen me naked many times - and open the door. "Hi," she breathes out. Thank goodness she's on the same page as me on this at least.

"Hey." I tell her and open the door and move away. The door closes behind us and before anything else can be said, my back is hitting the door and she's kissing me.

"We're not going out tonight." She says. And damn, that assertiveness - that need I hear in her voice just makes me want to mount her. She drops both hands to my ass and pulls me up and we've done this enough times already. I know what she wants and I want it too. I wrap my legs around her waist and let her hold me up. I love how strong her arms are - thank you cheerleading! She supports me up with no trouble.

"I fucking miss you." I really do. No matter that we haven't seen each other in only two days - two days seems like a long time right now. And even though she's right here, I still miss her. Because she's here but the fact that she's been distant lately still has me feeling like she's an ocean away.

She jokes, twisting the words around, "I miss fucking you." I growl, more out of sheer frustration than irritation because I do too. She kisses me with a laugh and adds, "But I miss you too."

I mumble with my forehead connected to her shoulder, "I think we're going to get in our first fight tonight." I can't hold it in any longer. As much as I don't want to be upset with her, I can't help but feel like she's being unfair about this whole thing with Harmony.

I can feel her tense up under me. And then she relaxes and hugs me. I hug her back even tighter and when she lets me go, I take it as a sign for me to start talking. So I do. I sit on the bed and begin cautiously.

"I know you're upset at me. You've been distant and... I don't know how to deal with that, Quinn. This is the first time something happens to us that kind of makes me want to yell at you." Her gaze strays from me and I wait until she's looking again. "I'm not going to stop talking to or hanging out with Harmony." She needs to understand that. "Not because I want to spite you or see if you get jealous, and it's not also only because of her father. She's a friend." Which she is but, "okay, maybe he father has a lot to do with it." I get up and walk the five feet to where she's standing and say, "This is really important to me," after grabbing both of her hands. Maybe she'll understand.

"I know, and I understand that, Rach." She sighs because I think she's not liking this anymore than I am, "But she's like, in love with you and I know she's going to use this against us."

Ridiculous. Harmony might've had a small crush on me when we first met but we've been hanging out and she hasn't made any moves or anything like that. No vibes from her. "First of, she's not in love with me. I know you think that, baby, but she doesn't even think about me that way anymore."

"How do you know?" She asks, unrelenting.

"I just do." I'm already getting annoyed that she won't listen to me when I tell her not to worry.

She steps away and takes off her outerwear, and says nonchalantly,"She's kind of a bitch and I gathered that from that one interaction we had."

"Just give her a chance."

Uh oh.

Her face transforms from careless to just angry.

"Why the hell should I give her a chance? Rachel! How can you not see that she's going to use this to take you from me? She's probably used to having daddy give her everything. Of course she'll have him offer the role and then you'll feel like you have to pay her back for it because even though you're talented you'll just know you only got it because of her. And she'll want more than friendship. And then what will you do? It's not like you're going to throw away the chance of a lifetime because of a girlfriend you just met at the beginning of the school year. Damn it."

Wow. I shake my head in disbelief. We talked about this on our first date. I told her how this is what I've always wanted. I really like this girl - and I almost smile at the thought - but she is stubborn in a way I'd never noticed before and she's making it really hard for me to even want to have her in my room right now. "I've wanted this for my entire life, Quinn. You're supposed to be on my side. I cannot just throw it away because -"

"I know! I just said that! I know you won't throw it away for me. And trust me, I know it's not even my place to ask, which is why I'm beating myself up for even considering that. And I am on your side."

"I honestly didn't think you were this selfish." I'm thinking of what to say next; what and how to articulate what I've been trying to say. I exhale with my eyes closed to see if it'll help drain away the anger in my body at the moment. I'm reluctant but decide to just go with it. "I was going to say... I can't throw it away because I love you. And you're right. It's not fair of you to ask. And I'm sorry. I already told you I'm not going to stop hanging out with her. And yeah, maybe I'll only get it because she'll ask her daddy to give it to me but - well at least I know she believes in me." As much as I like - love - this girl (I'm definitely there) I can't just let go of a perfect opportunity such as this for her. Like she said we just met and... this saddens me a lot.

Shit. I don't want to think like that already. It's only one fight. It is over something important but I didn't let Finn drag me down with him in high school, why should I let someone who's only made me feel like the best person I could be whenever I'm with her? Someone who's always made me smile and laugh and -

"What? Rach," She comes close and her voice is sweet and soft when she says, "I believe in you. Completely. And I mean that in a, I completely trust you when you tell me you feel nothing for her and also in a, 'I know you'll make it to Broadway' way. I just... I don't understand why it has to be now. Or this way for that matter."

Wow. She doesn't feel the same. Nor does she care. Nor does she even acknowledge my feelings for her. I'm so incredibly hurt. And angry. And upset. And disappointed. I told Kurt and Santana that this would be a problem. Why did they say that it was okay for me to already feel so much for her. "Fuck you, Quinn." Gosh. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. My head is spinning and I'm on the verge of breaking down and crying but the hell she's gonna see me cry. I have to cover up. I feel exposed. And I feel sick. I hold the shorts in my hands as I say, "You haven't known me my whole life, okay? I've worked so fucking hard for this. This chance - it's too good. And it's not like I'm fucking anyone to make it - I'm simply being friends with a girl with really important connections." I pull on the shorts and open the door for her. An invitation for her to leave, "maybe you shouldn't stay over tonight."

She immediately grabs her coat and scarf and doesn't even put them on until she's at the end of my hallway. I watch her go and I'm frantic.

Santana walks in with Chinese take-out. "Hey!" She yells as she uses her heels to close the door. I'm sitting on my bed and I honestly don't know how long I've been sitting here. "I brought Chinese. Britt had some -" She looks at me and sees my eyes are bloodshot and that's when I start crying.

She hurries to my side, "babe. What's wrong?" She pulls me in and wraps an arm around my sobbing frame.

I try to control my crying but it only makes me cry harder.

"Okay. Okay," She soothes me. "We'll just sit here like this for a while until you feel like explaining, alright?"

I can only nod.

I was wrong. I had thought that two days had been a long time but a whole fucking week is insane.

It's been a week since the fight. A week. Spring Break is in a week and my fathers are so excited about Quinn coming - I don't even know what to tell them.

I don't think we're broken up. I'm just giving myself time to be able to bring that conversation back up and I'm also giving her the opportunity to apologize. But, she hasn't called; hasn't texted; hasn't shown up before or after my classes with that radiant smile and the golden hair... Crap.

Santana keeps threatening me saying she's going to force Quinn back here to explain herself, at least. But I made Santana promise she won't go after her about this at all. She'll have to come on her own.

Meanwhile, I've been throwing myself into the play. I've been memorizing lines; going to fittings; helping with set decorations. I've been doing all that I can to keep Quinn away from my thoughts but it's so hard. She's everywhere. If I see an interesting piece of artwork anywhere, I think of her. When I pass by the gym or The Lounge, or the stupid Business building where she and Santana have Economics; if I listen to Noah and the Whale by accident.

Harmony's been there. Of course she has. She's introduced me to her father and him and April Rhodes are already speaking to Schuester about Jesse and I. I know because Harmony herself has told me. When I ask her why her father just wouldn't put her on the play she said it's because she wants a fair chance to make a name for herself. Understandable.

And as much as Quinn has worried about her, she's done nothing but been a friend and supportive of my dreams. There's no blatant flirting; no trying to get into my pants.

There's a desperate knock on my door at around one in the morning, this Friday night. I'm glad Santana is not home yet from clubbing with Britt - I don't even know if she'll even come back yet. She hasn't texted or called to let me know.

I open the door and before I can even understand what's happening, the air is being stolen from my lungs. And my body is completely okay with that. Quinn's hands are gripping tightly the back of my neck flush to her, pulling me close. We stumble backwards together and when I manage to speak I can only say two barely there words before she interrupts me, "Quinn... I -"

"I love you, too."

I unintentionally break away. What? I'm confused. But - elated at the same time. She pulls me back in and keeps kissing me. I'm still letting the information sink in. Trying to understand. Did she really take an entire week to decide to tell me? Did she only now admit it to herself? Or is she just saying because she feels like she has to? Because I totally understand if she's not ready; I wasn't hurt because she didn't say it back just because she had completely dismissed it and... I realize my thoughts are everywhere but I'm not actually voicing them.

She stops kissing me and when I manage to open my eyes again, she says, "It only registered what you said a week later. I'm sorry. I was so invested in trying not to talk to you until you talked to me..."

Ah. She hadn't even hear it. Does that make it better or worse? I can't decide. "One of the reasons I didn't call or text or contact you - for as hard as it was - it's because you didn't even acknowledge it." She blushes at this.

Her hands hide her face in a way I've come to realize only happens when she's truly embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But I do. And," she takes a deep breath and says through clenched teeth, "As much as I'm not a fan of Harmony... I am happy you get this opportunity for you." She smiles and it looks genuine. "I promise. And I'll even be supportive of it and not the shitty girlfriend you had to deal with lately."

That actually sounds great. "That makes me really happy. And I'm sorry," I apologize when she's laying on top of me.

"What for?" I missed her. I missed her a lot. She's nuzzling me the way she always does when we're in this position. It gives me the goosebumps but it's still so comforting and so delicious.

"For even making her a big deal to start with. If it hadn't been that one stupid little comment."

"Hey," she stops me by placing an index finger to my lips. "No more talking about her, okay?" I feel her thumb now trace my bottom lip as her eyes go back and forth between my eyes and my lips, "Let's just get through this week because I'm dying for Spring Break with you anddddd... you should so kiss me right now." And when she pulls me in, I don't stop her.

This morning, Quinn skips mandatory Saturday practice from cheerleading (I know, she's a rebel!) to hang out with me. I told her we could do something later that day but she said she'd be too tired because of practice. She says she'll deal with Coach Sylvester later and work her magick.

"So what'd you want to do this fine morning, darlin'?" She asks from where she's watching me get ready. She's in dark jeans, white V-neck t-shirt, with a copper jacket and teal scarf. She's wearing grey converse. Her hair is pulled up in a messy ponytail. She's basically the definition of hot.

I bite my lip in concentration, "whatever you want to do is fine with me." I reassure her. She smiles and comes to where I am getting ready in front of the mirror. I keep adjusting my hair, fluffing it up over and over since I'm wearing it down, in waves. I'm in jeans and a I (Heart) NY shirt and my favorite combat boots.

"Stop messing with your hair. You look great as always." She says and wraps her arms around my waist, dropping her head to my shoulders. We look at each other through the mirror.

I smile at the sight, "Thank you." She nods and dips her head to start kissing and biting my neck lightly. Her teeth graze over that spot and I shiver with a giggle.

"So did you decide what you want to do?" She asks and stills my hand once again. This time she intertwines our fingers and brings our hands down. She's looking at me expecting an answer.

"We could always go to a museum we haven't been to yet." I suggest and tip my head sideways to rest my cheek to her temple.

She perks up, "Perfect! I love it."

"I have a feeling you would've said that to anything I suggested." I say, with suspicious eyes and a laughing tone of voice.

She feigns disinterest while touching my hair and brushing away some of it that's falling on my eyes, "Maybe. I love your hair like this." She says and looks at me with pure wonder written on her face.

I smile again and turn to face her fully, cupping a cheek and kissing her sweetly, "thank you. You look very nice."

She laughs and breaks away, "Thank you. Now let's go?" She grabs my hand, puts on her aviators, and we head out.

I just look at her as we're walking out of my dormitory. Damn those sunglasses. They shouldn't turn me on this much. And that jaw. It's so inviting; calling my lips to kiss it all over and lick it. I shake my head and smile at the thoughts in my head. Who's idea was it to leave my room? We should be making out right now, preferably without any clothes. Leading up to hot sex on my cramped bunk bed and then in the cramped shower. I laugh quietly.

"You're thinking so loudly, I'm sure Santana can hear you from... wherever the hell she's at." She says without even looking at me.

We're making our way across campus. Maybe we'll just go to the American Museum of Natural History today. We can walk there in twenty minutes or call a cab; I'd rather spend that time walking alongside her and talking. "Just thinking about how hot you are." I admit.

She grins and then steals a glance, "Really, now?"

"Mmhm."

"I was thinking the same about you." She raises an eyebrow.

I lick my lips and whisper, "I know a place in the library we can go."

"Lead the way."

"Fuck. Babe. Do more of that." I say, tilting my head to the side. I feel her hike up my left leg up and around her waist to give her better access between my legs. She grinds into me once, hard, then again. I moan and she brings her mouth from my neck to my mouth to keep me quiet.

"You have to be quiet, Rach. There are people studying here." She admonishes me with a wicked smile.

We're on the fourth floor of the library. In the very back by the rarely used Encyclopedias; these are so old and outdated that they're gathering cobwebs between the pages. Well, I wouldn't know but whatever. The only good thing about this part of the library is that it's so secluded, it makes for a greatspot for - well, this.

"Oh, I know. I know," I say urgently, nipping at her bottom teeth and grabbing her ass to keep her moving, "but you feel so good. Can't help myself."

She moans when I massage her cheeks and cant my hips upward to match hers. "Dear all that is good in this world. You'll be the death of me." She says in a hushed whisper into my ear.

"Unless you kill me first. Damn."

We walk out of the library together, sporting matching smiles. We did our best to fix each other's hairs and clothing to keep our appearances innocent enough before emerging from our secret spot but Quinn's rosy cheeks and her lips are a total give away. "You're, like, walking evidence that we just had sex in there." I point out while running a thumb over her lips.

"So are you. Sex hair looks great on you."

"Quinn!" I say, "I thought you tried to make it look less obvious!"

She laughs out loud, "I did the best I could!" I look at her in shock until she says, "I'm kidding. Well, I really did my best and your hair is not so obvious but people take one look at us and they know." She says with a smug expression.

"What's with that face?"

"What?" She asks, not giving in.

"Why are you acting all smug? Are you... are you feeling smug because you just fucked me in the library?"

She nods eagerly and whispers, "that was so incredibly hot. Watching you come is my favorite thing to do."

I drench. Again. "You can't keep saying things like that, Quinn!" I hiss. "Otherwise we're never going to make it to the museum -"

"Whose idea was it to leave again?" She says. "A week without sex was torture. We should've stayed in making up for it."

I don't have to think twice, "Santana will be gone for a long time."

"Don't - don't stop. Don't -"

She tastes amazing.

She bites her lip and then her mouth hangs open and I can see the blood rush back to where her teeth were sunk into.

"Harder."

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Ah -"

Her fingers work wonders.

"We really should go do something." She says from behind me. We're spent on my bed and it's not even one in the afternoon yet.

"Maybe we could go grab lunch and then go to the museum like we had planned to do."

She hums in agreement behind me and then props herself on an elbow. "Sounds like a plan." She says and plants an open mouthed kiss on my shoulder. A finger trails up my stomach and starts toying with my nipple.

"You can't propose for us to go back out there and then do - oh yeah, do that."

It's 3:30 and we're only now putting our clothes back on. She keeps stealing glances at me while buttoning her jeans or throwing on her shirt. She has a knowing smile on her face.

"So we'll go and grab a hot dog and then go to the museum." I say, trying but failing really hard to stop smiling.

"Yeah." She says.

We both start laughing. "God, I feel like a fourteen year old boy. I have the constant need to -"

"Touch?" She says and irks an eyebrow. She reaches for her jacket and sunglasses.

"Yeah." I say.

We laugh.

"We should never get in a fight again. Ever ever." She says with a laugh. And then her face straightens and she stands dangerously close to me with what looks like a pained expression for a fleeting second. She smiles again but it's more reserved, "Seriously, Rach. We should like, promise to at least not go this long without seeing or talking to each other."

I agree without an ounce of a doubt, "Of course. Babe, we can try to never go to bed mad at each other, alright? And if that doesn't work, let's agree to at least talk and always be honest when we're upset."

She breathes out a "okay" and then steps even closer, "Okay. We can definitely do that." Her hands caress up the back of my arms and then loop around my shoulders, "I love you."

"I love you."

"Just ketchup on mine." I tell the guy preparing our hot dogs. Quinn's has everything on it. "Are you allowed to eat all that?" I ask.

She looks down at me and shrugs, "Probably not. But what Coach doesn't know won't kill her." She grabs hers and mine and hands mine over to me. She hands the guy the cash, tells him to keep the change and we start walking.

"She's insane." I mumble.

"She is but she's good at what she does." She says back.

"Hey," I start. This is the perfect time to bring up our trip to Lima for spring break again. "Did you want to drive or fly to Ohio? I need to know so my fathers can buy our tickets or you know, for us to start making car arrangements."

She looks at me and says, "Rach, I'm not letting your fathers pay for my ticket. We're leaving this Thursday - it'll be so expensive!"

"Quinn. They insist. And does that mean you want to fly?"

She seems to ponder on the idea and then carefully says, "Actually I'd rather drive." When I shoot her an irritated look she continues, "No, not because of the ticket thing. Just because -" she falters and looks around before looking at me again. "Just because that way we can spend more time together. You know, road trips are always fun and it'd be our first one and... I don't know. It could be fun if we made a few stops along the way. What do you think?"

I actually like that. "Yeah. It'd be mostly Pennsylvania and Ohio but... we could make it work."

"After this past week - I sorta just want the world to stop..."

"I completely understand." I tell her. "Great! I love this! I'll call my dads tonight and let them know."

The museum was amazing but I think it's mostly because of how Quinn speaks so passionately about the things we saw there. Hearing her talk like that - not surprisingly - makes me so horny. I laugh at myself when I admit that and giggle at Quinn's reaction when I let her know. Her face goes three shades of red and she puts her sunglasses back on. After a few seconds her lips curl into a smile and she confidently takes my hand as we walk down the street.

We're passing by Central Park so we take a few moments to just sit on a bench together and relax. I watch a little girl drop her ice cream and start crying. Her father picks her up with a sweet smile and goes get her a new ice cream. Quinn points it out to me and I tell her I was just looking at that.

Quinn's left arm is around my shoulders and her right hand is playing with mine. I wouldn't trade being here with her for anything else. Then she stills and says, "Come on. I have an idea."

She whistles for a cab, and, holy hell, I had no idea she could whistle like that. The taxi stops and Quinn says, "the Gershwin Theatre, please," through the window. He nods and waits for us.

That takes me by surprise. "Where are we going?"

"It's almost 7! Hurry! We're going to miss the start." Shey says as if this had all been talked about between us but I'm more confused than Finn doing Math.

I get in the cab and Quinn smiles at me with an excited look.

"Did you say -"

"The Gershwin, yeah."

"Wicked?"

"Bought tickets last night after you fell asleep."

"That's why you were so adamant in us going out."

"I know you've seen Les Mis and the Phantom and RENT here already but you hadn't mentioned Wicked so I just had to."

I grin and pull her in by the golden hair behind her ears, "you're the best. You should've warned me to dress nicer though!"

"Babe. You look amazing, trust me." Her voice lowers dramatically and places a kiss to my ear before husking, "you know how hard it is for me to keep my hands to myself in the back of this cab?"

Well, fuck. When she says things like that it makes me want to take off all her clothes and ignore the fact that we're in public. I gulp and she laughs in my hear, and when I can finally open my eyes because of the desire rushing through my body, I say, "thank you. For this."

"Well, I wanted my first Broadway experience to be with a professional." She winks.

I smile but then I question, "You've never been to Broadway?"

"I didn't have a reason to before. With my classes and cheerleading I had to have priorities."

"You won't regret this." I inform her, over-confidently.

She agrees with a nod but says, "I hope not."

We laugh as the car comes to a screeching halt in front of the building. A large Wicked poster hands from the wall. I look up and I know my eyes are brimming with tears. This. This is my dream. Broadway. Musical Theater. And Quinn is making an effort to understand it. She might not have said it in those exact words but I totally see what she's doing.

Her voice is quiet, "baby?"

I turn around and throw my body at her and she grabs me easily, with a tight hug. "Are you okay?"

"More than."

"Why are you crying then?" She asks, nervously holding on to me. I sniff and realize tears had been falling without me even noticing. I shake my head to tell her it's not a big deal but she presses on. "Please."

I exhale loudly, releasing the built up emotions and say, "Because you are doing this for me. To prove you support me and care about my dreams. But I knew that, baby. I appreciate you so much more for this but you shouldn't have to feel this way; like you have to prove yourself. I'm sorry for accusing you of not believing in me."

"Rach," she starts to say but I don't let her downplay her actions.

"No, seriously, Quinn. Let's just forget that entire thing, okay?"

"Of course. Whatever you want."

Two hours later we're leaving the theater and I'm overwhelmed by how grandiose the show was. Quinn looks like she feels the same. I love it when she looks like this: so elated that her mouth hangs open in honest joy.

We're making our way back to campus by subway when my phone rings. I pull it out of my pocket to check who it is and - I sigh. Quinn tries not to pry but I know she knows who it is.

"Pick up." She orders, her voice dry.

"Look - I don't have to. We're out together and -" I press the 'end' button to ignore the call for her to see. "There. It it's important she can leave a message." I pocket the phone and look back up at Quinn, who is at the moment avoiding eye contact, but I can see her struggling. "Babe, look at me."

She finally does, "Call her back. She tells me before I have the chance to say anything else. My mouth hangs open in shock, "Really. Do it - that's what friends do. I'm okay, Rach. I'll deal. It'll take time but for me to ever get used to you guys' friendship, I have to be faced with it. So, just call her," She says with finality, reaches for my phone and places it back in my hands, closing my fingers around it.

Warily, I do as told, maintaining eye contact. "Hello?" Harmony says on the other side of the line. "Rach? Oh my g - thank goodness you called back soon! Are you busy?"

I know Quinn can hear everything she's saying, but her expression remains the same and she keeps her eyes trained on me.

"I'm with Quinn, what's up?"

"Oh." Harmony's excitement falls. "Oh. Well, I can call later then..." She says but then decides to venture a hushed, "But everything's okay?" Harmony knows about the fight. Not because I ran off and told her but because everyone around me this past week could tell something happened. I didn't give her any details as to why we fought and she didn't pry but there was no point in denying something had happened. She just didn't know we had made up yet.

"No, yeah! Everything's great. I can talk though. Why did you call?" Quinn shifts in front of me and readjusts her scarf. I'm starting to gnaw on my bottom lip, worried. Quinn huffs exaggeratedly and presses her thumb to my lip to stop me. She shoots me a look and mouths, 'stop that.' And I know she means for me to stop worrying about her feelings. I nod and sigh.

"Good. Um, I was calling because I overheard my father telling April he made a decision. I only heard as far as Jesse's name but if he's got it -" She trails off on a positive note. I notice Quinn actually start to show interest in what Harmony's saying.

My mouth goes dry and my eyes bulge out, "you don't actually think... they'll give me the part?" I ask. Quinn reassures me by eagerly nodding. She keeps running a hand over my free arm while the other hand is on her mouth, to keep her surprise in check.

"Yeah! I do! I remember my father telling a friend who was over for dinner once that he wanted to keep you and Jesse together because you have amazing chemistry. Like, even if you hadn't gotten this one, I'm sure he would pick you together for another project."

I am quiet evaluating if I should give in and get my hopes up or if I should keep pretending this all doesn't excite me.

Quinn makes the decision for me. She hugs me and yelps, "You did it! You got it, babe!"

"Oh my god..." I let the powerful realization sink in, "I did."

"Yes, you did." Harmony assures me. "Now I'm gonna go so your phone will be free when April calls you."

I get a phone call at 11 pm. I was on edge for hours waiting. I almost gave Quinn a heart attack with how loudly I screamed.

"I like - no, love. I love the way you celebrate." Quinn says from beneath me. I'm hovering over her, my dark locks are like curtains around my face. We're in her room this time because Santana decided to sleep at home tonight. Mary is out.

"I love it that you're here to help me celebrate." I tell her. She squirms when I start tickling her naked ribs and so I grab her wrists and throw her hands above her head. "Today was perfect. Thank you."

She giggles and kisses me with a lot of tongue before pulling away and saying, "You're very welcome. Now," She raises an eyebrow effortlessly and says, "we were celebrating?"


	14. Call Your Girlfriend (Robyn)

"I like - no, love. I love the way you celebrate." I say. She's the only thing I see at the moment, and I don't want to see anyone else. April Rhodes just called Rachel to confirm Harmony's suspicions that she had gotten the part and well, lucky for me I was with her because right now she's doing wonderful things to my body.

"I love it that you're here to help me celebrate." She says. Her voice is playful, but in that special way she only gets when we're in bed alone. I'm the only person who gets to hear it. It makes me feel fantastic! She tickles me and then pins my hands above my head by holding my wrists. "Today was perfect. Thank you."

I lean up to kiss her and she opens her mouth just right. Our tongues are bold. "You're very welcome. Now, we were celebrating?" I ask her, just to remind her to do more loving and less talking.

She pushes me back down and her hands drop to my hips and she makes circles with her thumbs. She hooks her index fingers to my panties and slowly drags them down and away. She watches me the entire time. We've done this so many times but it never gets old, the way my stomach flips with excitement and my heart beats fast. "I want you so badly." She admits, eyes never leaving mine. Her eyes are brimming with desire and the way her nipples are hardened confirm her words. I never get tired of hearing her say that.

I shiver at the touch of one finger to my wet center. "Oh, baby." I bit my lower lip hard and one hand flies to her breasts. The other is gripping my own hair. I automatically start moving my hips in tandem to her touches. She knows how to work me up so well.

"Can we just do this all of Spring Break?"

So midterms came and went. I think I did fairly well on them. When I wasn't busy studying, I was busy making love to Rachel and organizing our trip to Lima. Well, helping her organize it. Turns out my girlfriend is a bit controlling. She did, somehow, leave the trip route up in the air for us to decide as we go.

Rachel immersed herself in her tests just as much as I did. Rehearsals for the play were put on hold because of exams and the impending break but they were going to pick it back up right when they came back since the play was opening a month after that. The best part of this is that she hardly saw Harmony; not that I'll ever tell her that.

Rachel spoke to Schuester, Rhodes, and Mr. Willows, along with Jesse about the upcoming play. They were going to start on the workshop for it during the summer, which meant she wouldn't be goin back to Lima for a long time then. It didn't matter. It had to be perfect. This was Broadway.

Except the play would start off-Broadway but all the adults believed that it'd be picked up soon. It was called Spring Awakening and Rachel would play Wendla, a teenage girl going through puberty without knowing what sex is because of her mother's upbringing. She and Jesse's character fall in love, do it, and the plot goes from there. That's the gyst Rachel told me anyway. She said the music promises to be amazing and just watching her be so happy makes me happy as well.

Right now I'm in my room, packing my last bag so I can go pick up the car and then get Rachel after her last midterm.

"When do you leave?" Mary asks from her chair, with both feet propped on her desk. She's skimming through a Seventeen magazine.

"As soon as Rach's done. I'm about to go get the car. It'll be a pain to get it back to school especially now when there's so much traffic because of people leaving or coming in town for spring break. It's not like it's any easier to drive around in without all these people -" I trail off and Mary laughs.

"It won't be that bad. I'll come with you." She sets down the magazine and stretches and for the first time I notice how supportive Mary's been. I can't believe I didn't like her at the beginning of the semester.

"Really?" I ask. "You're coming?"

She shrugs, "It's not like I have anything better to do. I'm done with my exams and Jake's busy with his. Our flight back home is only tomorrow."

"Well, okay." I run a hand through my hair and unwillingly leave it threaded through my locks as I mentally check things off for the trip. "Let's go then!" I clap my hands exactly once before heading for the door with Mary following behind.

"You excited to meet Rachel's dads?" She asks with a smile that is threatening to break into a full teasing smirk.

I say, "actually, yeah."

She deadpans, "really?"

I shrug, "Well, I'm not like freaking out but it's probably cause we're not there yet. I'm sure I'll have a terrifingly embarrassing story to tell you when I'm back."

She laughs, "but you're Quinn Fabray, head cheerleader. You're not embarrassing - ever."

"I just hide it well."

She stops walking for a moment then keeps walking as if she came upon a realization, "You're lying. You actually are freaking out." She points a finger at me and irks an eyebrow at me, almost as good as I do it. I had never seen her do that before so it makes me laugh.

I use it as a deflection, "I didn't know you could raise an eyebrow like that."

"Don't change the subjects, Q."

I relent, "fine. Yes, I lied. But I just really want to make a good impression on her parents. And this isn't like when my parents came down here. They were together for less than a day. I'm spending a week with them!"

"Don't worry. If they raised Rachel, you shouldn't be scared."

I leave the car on in front of Rachel's dorm and let it idle as I run up to Rachel's room to help her bring down her stuff. The door to the room is open. I knock lightly to alert everyone of my presence; Santana and Brittany are in the room, as well as Kurt and Blaine. They all turn and smile (except for Santana who simply nods).

"Quinn!" Brittany says and skips across the room and into my arms.

"Hi, Britt."

"Hey, Quinn." Kurt says and then both he and Blaine hug me.

Rachel emerges from the bathroom with her hair curled. She's in a comfortable maroon sweater and yoga pants that really accentuate her behind. "Hey, sweetie." She says when she sees me and throws her arms around my neck to kiss me hello. "Everyone came here to see us off since we're the first to go."

"I gathered that much. Are you ready?"

She sweeps a glance over her stuff and after a beat says, "yeah." She seems hesitant but I let it slide.

"Okay, then. Let's go." I grab one of her bags and Blaine insists in taking the other. I'm thankful for him because it sure looks heavy. What the hell is she packing? We all walk downstairs and after everyone says goodbye, Rachel and I settle in the car. I'm driving to start so she can catch up on some sleep and when she feels rested enough she'll drive some more until we have to stop and sleep.

"How was your last exam?" I ask as we're pulling away. Brittany is still waving bye.

Rachel is indulging the blonde by waving back. "It wasn't awful. We'll have to see when I get it back."

"I'm sure you did great." I reassure her and lean across the console to kiss her. She hums in approvement.

She still asks, "what was that for?"

"Do I need to have a reason to kiss my drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend?"

"No! By all means - kiss me whenever you feel like it."

I smile and she licks her lips before kissing my cheek since we're already leaving campus. "So, do you know our first stop yet?"

"I figured we could stop as we go West, wherever we feel like. As long as we get to Lima by tomorrow afternoon, so my dads don't worry too much."

"Okay. You should get to sleep now. I'm sure you're tired."

I turn on the radio but Rachel whines, "but I want to talk to you; keep you company as you drive." She shuts it off with a pout.

It's adorable but, "don't be unreasonable, Rach. We have almost 11 hours to talk on the road and that's not including the time we'll spend stopped." I carefully glance at her.

She huffs and carries a lock of hair behind her ear. "Baby. You'll be bored. And it's not safe for you to drive without something to keep you from - "

"The radio will keep me company while you sleep. I promise I won't crash the car for the couple of hours you rest. It's not even nighttime yet!" I argue.

"But I know you've been exhausted because of exams, too." She looks at me indignantly for a few minutes and I ignore her stare. She then gives up with a head shake. "You're right. I am tired." At this she yawns and rests her head on the window. With her eyes already closed she asks, "You're sure right?"

"Yeah. I am, pretty girl." But she's sleeping before I finish the sentence.

Our first pit-stop is in Allentown, Pennsylvania. I really need to stop and use the bathroom from drinking so much water, and it's about time Rach and I eat because neither of us had lunch before leaving. I stop at a Subway downtown. I shake Rachel's shoulder lightly to wake her up. She grumbles and rolls her head the other way.

"Wake up, gorgeous." I whisper close to her ear.

"Don't wanna." She mumbles.

I shake some more, "Come on, Rach. I need to use the potty and I'm starving."

"Where are we?" She asks, still asleep.

"We're in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Amanda Seyfried is from here." I inform her.

"Oh, she's hot." She says. I start giggling. I love sleepy Rachel. She's so cute and she has a lot less filter than awake Rachel. I can tell her comment woke her up though because she stops talking and moving. Her head slowly rolls back to face me and she keeps one eye close. "Hey," She says, shyly. She drops her gaze, her eyes are still kind of droopy and her voice is so sexy.

"Good afternoon," I say teasing. "Seyfried, huh? You sure like blondes." I tap her on the knee and say, "come on. Let's go get food."

She glares at me before getting out of the car. "You totally got that out of me by cheating."

I laugh and make my way around the car and lean my body into her, to back her into the car. "That was so not cheating, Berry. I only informed you, I wasn't meaning to get it out of you." I giggle. She pouts. I touch her lip that's jutting out and lean forward, taking it with my teeth. "But I'm your favorite blonde, right?"

She whimpers, "you're my favorite, period."

"Good." I say. "I might just use this technique to get other things out of you!" I pull away and grab her hand.

"You wouldn't! You wouldn't take advantage of me!" She shrieks.

"Oh god. That freaking hurt my ear. I was kidding. I'd never do that, Grumpy."

"I'm not grumpy! I'm just... still wound up from my day..." She admits with a sigh.

I open the door for her and make my way for the line. "I'm sorry. I was kidding, okay?" I reassure her and kiss her until she kisses me back. "Now, tell me what you want and I'll order it for you."

We spent forty five minutes after that walking around and looking at things around town but we felt the pressing need to keep going with the trip. So I climbed back behind the wheel and Rachel - with a lot of arguing - sat on the passenger seat. She says she feels bad that I have to keep driving. She fishes her Raybans from inside her bag and puts them on.

"God. If you want to drive so badly, I'll let you. I just thought I should keep driving for another hour or so so you can keep resting." I say, getting annoyed by her sour attitude. "What the hell is your problem?"

"I told you, Quinn." She says my name with bite. "I've been on edge all day."

I keep my eyes focused on the road and lean my cheek on my left hand, which is propped up on its elbow on the armrest. "Why? I have noticed you've been sorta... all over the place with your emotions. What's up?"

"Nothing." She says quickly. That's definitely worrisome.

I decide to not dwell on it only because I don't feel like having an argument in the car. "Fine. Whatever. Just go back to sleep and we can talk about this later."

"Fine." She huffs out, crosses her arms across her chest, and closes her eyes behind the sunglasses.

"Harrisburg, PA." Rachel reads off a sign on the side of the road. "10 miles. I don't know if I can wait that much longer." She whines. Her knees are both bouncing up and down. I feel like I'm traveling with an infant. I tell her that.

"You're acting like a child."

"You're being mean." She throws back.

"You've been nagging all trip long and it just started." I say. "It's only ten miles; suck it up."

She sits up on her seat, and looks out the window. "I really have to go."

I take the next exit hastily. I stop at the first gas station and break. It's not smooth. "Rachel," I hiss. Then I shake my head and take three deep breaths, "Look. I'm sorry I made you wait. Go to the bathroom and I'll be waiting for you here."

She gets out of the car without a word. I stay in the car playing back our day and the week and trying to figure out what happened and what I did wrong this time but I can't think of anything. I turn on the radio and drum along to the song playing until she comes back. "Are we stopping in Harrisburg? It's the capital." She offers with a lighter tone. It seems like she's tried calming down as well.

"I thought either Philadelphia or Pittsburgh was the capital."

"No, it's Harrisburg. We should stop at least to take a picture."

We do end up stopping in Harrisburg. We're walking down a street which seems pretty touristy in town but neither of us are talking. We're holding hands and looking around and letting the lit up street do its magic. It's dark. It's almost 8 pm and we should just keep driving but I have a feeling that neither of us want to stay locked in a car with this much tension. The only problem is that I don't know what happened.

"Rach," I say tentatively to see if she will at least consider talking.

And apparently she can't take it anymore either. She blurts out, "Finn called."

Wait, what? I blank. I stop walking and my brow furrows. My head starts to spin and the hand she's holding on to flies to my temple to massage it. She tries to seek it out again to hold it but I keep it away from her. "Finn? Your ex?"

"Quinn, don't freak out, okay? I've just been on edge because I didn't know how to approach you with this but he kind of wants to see me over the break -"

"No."

"Quinn. Don't be irrational."

I scoff. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? We just got over your thing with Harmony and now you want to spend our spring break with your ex-boyfriend? Who, if I recall, Santana hates and hurt you really badly."

"It's not the entire break, Quinn! It'll only be a couple hours."

"I can't believe you're trying to convince me to let you go on a date with your ex while I sit in your house by myself?" Irritated doesn't even do justice right now.

She tries to argue but it's in vain. "It's not a date. Plus, Santana will be in town already and you guys will be able to, like, hang out without me."

"It seems to me like you already planned this through and I don't have a choice. Does Santana even know this?" She looks away and her silence is enough to tell me that no, Santana doesn't know. "That'll really hurt her feelings. I shouldn't even have to say it because you know that."

"Please don't be mad at me." She pleads. "I'm already angry enough at myself as it is -"

"Why are you angry with yourself, Rachel? If you are so angry, why are you going?"

"Quinn. He's my friend. I know him for a long time and he seems like he really needs a friend."

I start walking back to the car now, not caring how awkward it'll be.

She follows without a word.

"I'll drive." I tell her.

"No. It's my turn."

"Rachel, just get in. Trust me - I won't be sleeping for a really long time."

It's past 1 in the morning when we stop to check into a hotel. I drove over four hours at night to get to Pittsburgh. Rachel has been crying. Silently but constantly. Eventually it started to bother me so I turned on the radio and turned up the music. She tried talking to me about it over and over and in my head, all I could think about was why we decided to drive and not fly. We probably would've already been there. This awkwardness could've been avoided. And I honestly really don't want to be near Rachel.

She did end up falling asleep but even then, it had not not been awkward.

We stop at a Hilton Inn and I insist on taking both of our bags in the room. It'll give me something to do to keep me busy. At least for the three minutes it takes to get to the room from the parking lot. Rachel trails behind silently. I set hers by the door and mine down by the foot of our bed and grabbing my phone and underwear, I go to the bathroom to shower. I notice Rachel starts sifting through her stuff before shutting the door.

I peel off my clothes, just now realizing how driving all afternoon long made me so tired. I turn on the shower on the hottest setting and stand in front of the mirror for a long time thinking about Rachel hanging out with Finn. They have history. They know each other in ways I'll never know her. How the hell can I compete with that? Harmony wasn't even that big of a threat compared to this boy. I don't know what to do.

I dial Santana's number after making sure the door is locked. The bathroom is getting foggy.

"Quinn?" She asks with a worried tone. I never call. She must think that Rachel's in trouble.

"Hey. Listen, Rachel's not hurt or anything like that." I say to assuage her of any worries she's already worked up in her head. I hear her start breathing again and then tell Britt everything's fine. "I'm calling because -"

She stays quiet on the other line. "Did something happen with Harmony?"

I rush out a, "No." I breathe in long and hard, "I don't know what to do otherwise I wouldn't be calling you. I feel like when Rachel finds out I told you she'll kill me but... you're the only person I coul -"

"Just say it." She demands.

"Finn called Rachel. Either last night or this morning - I'm not entirely sure. She was being all snappy with me all day and then she told me and... well, he wants to hang out with her during break."

"Hell to the no." Santana practically yells in my ear. "Hand the phone to her, Quinn. I'll convince her out of it. Is she a fucking imbecile?"

I sigh, "I tried. She says that he's her friend. I don't know. I was under the impression she really didn't like him."

Santana stays quiet for an entire minute; I counted. "That's the thing with Rachel and Finn. He keeps hurting but whenever he 'needs a friend' she always runs back to him." Ouch. I bite the inside of my cheek. Santana gasps out loud and then tries to amend what she said, "Not like that! She's with you now, and she's in love with you. What I meant is that somehow, even when she claims to 'hate' him, she has a damn soft spot for him."

"Should I be worried?" I ask, weakly. "I mean, they have history and know each other for so long; how can I even compete?"

At this, Santana actually chuckles which makes my blood boil a little until she says, "Fuck that, Q. She won't go back to him. The problem is that he's really going to try. And in regards to their history - you can't compete. But you shouldn't try to. Just... remember that she's yours and that she loves you."

When I come out of the shower, Rachel's sitting on the bed with a towel on her lap. Her eyes are cast down and her bangs are falling on her face. "I- I'm so sorry for not telling you before."

I sigh and sit next to her. I slide my hand into hers and entwine our fingers, "No. I'm sorry for not being more understanding."

She drops her head to my shoulder, "I don't want anything with him you know?"

"So call him and tell him that you met somebody new." It reminds me of a song so I start giggling and when I finally calm down I start singing.

Tell him not to get upset  
Second guessing everything you said and done  
And then when he gets upset tell him  
How you never mean to hurt no one

Then you tell him that the only way his heart will mend  
Is when he learns to love again  
And it won't make sense right now  
But you're still his friend and then you let him down easy

I finally manage to get her to break a smile for me, "You make it sound like him and I are still together."

"Well, seems to me like you guys are still not over each other." I say, hurt by that thought.

"What? Where did you get that idea from?"

"It's just that... Why do you stay in contact with him? He hurt your best friend. You watched it happen. He was a fucking asshole to you. You told me that. But I still don't understand why you are still friends with him if you didn't still feel something for him."

"It's complicated, Quinn." She starts.

"I guess I understand that you'll always feel something for him. He was your first boyfriend and your first... love." It physically makes me sick to think of Rachel loving someone else. "But I don't understand why you'd go see him. And it fucking hurts that you are willing to even though it makes me upset."

She supplies, "It's -"

"Complicated. I know." I finish it for her. "I spoke to Santana." I tell her.

She gets up on her feet and points at me with an indignant look in her brown eyes, "You had no right!"

I ignore her, "And she told me that I shouldn't compete with your history. She also warned me and said he's going to try to win you back. That he's done this before. But she also said that you love me and you won't go back to him... Just..."

"What, sweetheart?" She asks. I feel so raw. So exposed and vulnerable. So weak. This is why I hate being jealous.

"If you're hoping that this thing with Finn goes any-"

She doesn't let me finish before shutting my mouth with her hand. "If you finish that thought, so help me God, Quinn -" She threatens me. Her eyes burn as she promises with them that nothing is going on or will go on between her and Finn. "I love you." She says. "Isn't that enough for you to know that I won't do anything?" Her voice cracks.

I feel the fight escape out of me and I sink down on the bed, "Yes. It is."

Tiredly, I reach for her and pull her into my arms. Her head rests on my shoulder and I wrap my arm around her, until she's snuggled impossibly close.

"Go to sleep, baby." She says and kisses under my jaw. I feel her hot breath on my neck as she mumbles something quite like, "Finn's got nothing on you."

I feel Rachel tugging me closer. I must've been really tired because when I manage to open my eyes and check the time, it's 10:37 am. I completely slept through my alarm. "We have to get going." She husks in my ear. I nod.

"Whenever you're ready." I tell her.

She giggles behind me. "I've been ready. Change, we'll get some coffee and I'll drive this time, okay?"

"Okay." I give in.

"We could drive by Columbus, if you wanted to see your family." She offers.

I hold her arms where they are, right underneath my breasts and say, "They're not home. I told them to go on vacation since I wasn't coming home."

"Oh." She sounds disappointed. Maybe she wanted to see where I'm from. I'm sure she's been to Columbus - she's told me that herself - but maybe she wanted to see where I grew up and where I went to school.

"We can drive there on the way back, how's that sound?"

She hugs me. I take that as a yes.

Instead of driving through Columbus, we decide to go North and drive to Cleveland. It takes us 2 hours and 45 minutes to get there because Rachel had to stop a few times. Once to fill the tank, halfway through, and then again, not even ten minutes later to go pee. I had told her to go when we were putting gas but no. She didn't have to go then.

"Let's play Marry, Fuck, Kill." She suggests when we drive past Austintown.

"What?" I ask, pulling my attention away from my book to her.

"Marry. Fuck. Kill." She says slower this time.

"What is that?"

"A game?"

"How do you play?"

"Really?" She faces me with narrowed eyes. "The name is self-explanatory! I'll go first." She ignores my scoff and then looks forward. "How about Sarah Shahi, Kate Middleton, or Lana Del Rey?"

"That's easy. Marry Kate, fuck Sarah, and kill Lana." I say, dismissively and try to focus back on my book.

"Quinn." Rachel calls out my attention.

"Yeah?"

"It's your turn to go."

"Oh." I close my book and throw it in the back seat. "Okayyy. Let's see... gosh, there are so many women to choose from. Okay, Amber Heard, Amanda Seyfriend, or Zoe Kravitz?"

Her eyebrows raise. I can see her eyes widen even with the sunglasses. "Damn. That is so much harder than what I gave you. I'd definitely marry Amanda but how can I pick between Amber and Zoe?" She complains.

"You have to!"

"But I don't want to!"

"Pick, Rachel!"

"Ugh. Though they're both hot and Zoe is totally fine for a brunette - cause you know I'm mostly into blondes... I'd fuck Amber and kill Zoe. Only because I'm loyal to my type."

"Bullshit. You're just saying that. You really pick Amber because she's out and proud and you have more chances with her."

"That and because Kravitz was only okay in her role in X-Men: First Class." She admits with a grin. "Okay... what about Adriana Lima, Freida Pinto, and Megan Fox?"

"Shit. Um, definitely fuck Adriana. And yeah, I'd marry Freida so that means I'd have to kill Megan."

She nods, "I definitely agree."

Cleveland is fun. We drive to the Playhouse Square Center and walk up and down the streets until we find one where there's a show starting. We watch the 1:30 showing of Much Ado About Nothing. Rachel's enchanted. She tells me all about how the Playhouse Square Center is the second-largest theater complex in the U.S. Obviously behind New York but that's it. We take pictures and end up grabbing lunch at a restaurant with a view of Lake Erie. We leave town at around 5 pm.

Our map tells us we'll have to drive really close to Toledo before being able to drive down to Lima, but we feel like we're already behind schedule, so we skip that.

With only a few stops for gas and potty breaks, we reach Lima city limits at around 9. I'm behind the wheel now, so Rachel gives me directions to her house. I'll be meeting her fathers for the first time within thirty minutes and it kind of worries me a little bit.

She seems to sense this so she seeks out my hand and says, "Don't worry. They're ecstatic about meeting you. They'll absolutely adore you."

I nod but it's clear that I'm still anxious, even though I really want to do this at the same time. Mostly because it'll make my relationship with Rachel that much more real.

I turn left into a neighborhood of great, modern-looking houses. She smiles and points at the large, two-story house at the end of the street. "There's home!" She texts her dads and by the time I'm stopping the vehicle in front of the house, the two men from Rachel's picture in her dorm are throwing open the door and running toward the car.

Before I even turn off the car, Rachel's out the door, skipping toward both men with arms wide open and a blinding smile in the dark. "Hi!" I hear her say before the door closes shut.

I give myself this time while the three are so engrossed in each other to give myself a pep talk. You'll be fine, Quinn. You'll charm them; they'll love you. Don't worry.

I calmly open the door, step out of the car, walk around it and stand behind Rachel with my hands behind my back and watch their exchange.

"Oh, look at you! You look beautiful!" The taller, black man says. Leroy is his name.

"How was the trip! Tell us about the trip!" Hiram says.

Rachel laughs and then places a hand on each of her father's arms, "dads. Calm down. You saw me in January. This," she points at me, "is my girlfriend. Quinn." Her smile grows and theirs do too.

Smiling, I reach out my hand to shake theirs but they completely ignore the formalities and pull me in for a hug. Both of them. They sandwich me. With my peripheral vision I can see Rachel giggling and that her cheeks are flushed. She's a little embarrassed by them. "Welcome home, Quinn! Rachel's told us so much about you. Come on, open the trunk and Hiram and I will get your bags out."

They let me go at the same time and I stumble backwards because of how intense they were holding on to me. Rachel is there to hold me. "Dads! Please." She hisses at them and then looks at me. "Are you alright?" Her eyes are all doe-eyed and they're caring and sweet.

"Of course I am." I reassure her. "I'm very pleased to meet you both, Mr. Berrys."

They laugh and Hiram says, "please. I'm not that old. Call me Hiram."

"And call me Leroy, Quinn. We're all equals in this house." Half of his body is already inside the trunk and he's struggling to pull out Rachel's suitecase because it's so heavy, but he manages to. "Rach. You're only spending a week here. What the hell do you have in here?"

"Why, clothes!" She defends herself. The three of us laugh and she pouts and crosses her arm.

"Oh, god. We're already going to have to deal with that?" Leroy jokes.

I go over to her and pull her arms free, "I'm really tired. Can we deal with the dramatics tomorrow? After I'm showered and rested?" I ask her with a peck to her cheek.

She relaxes and looks at me from under her lashes, those beautiful long, dark lashes. "Yes. Let's go inside."

Neither Hiram nor Leroy will let Rachel nor I take our bags inside. They make three trips to and from the car. They don't even ask or make a big deal about it: they take my things to Rachel's room upstairs. Rachel lets me use the bathroom to shower first and I do so while she tells her fathers about our trip. I'm hoping she doesn't fill them in on the whole Finn fight but I don't know if she does or not. I hear the door creak open while I'm still in the shower.

"Baby?" She says with a voice I recognize now as wicked.

"Yeah?" I shout for her to hear me above the sound of the hot water hitting my skin.

"My fathers went out to grab some things for us to eat tonight and tomorrow. They'll be gone a long time." She explains and then the shower curtain opens. She bites her lip and steps in while I watch her dry body get wet by the water cascading down over her.

"Really?" I manage to mumble, even though my body is having all sorts of reactions right now. My legs are trembling slightly and my breath hitches as she slides her hands over both nipples before threading them into dark brown hair. Her eyes close and she sighs softly. I simply stand back and let her take center stage. This show is too good to pass up. I follow a drop of water make its way down the valley of her breasts, over her stomach and abs - I lick my lips. I can't take it any longer. I fall to my knees and lick that drop. She moans and one of her hands automatically finds my hair. She grabs on to it and leads my mouth to where she wants me.

"Eager, aren't we?" I joke.

She counters, "I was speaking to my fathers but kept getting distracted by the sound of the shower and I just had to get rid of them."

"So Quinn, tell us about cheerleading." Hiram asks over a light soup for dinner. It's past ten and neither of us wanted to eat something too heavy, so we decided to make a quick soup and have a heartier breakfast in the morning.

"I love it." I instantly say. "It's great. Our coach is psycho but it's worth it for that feeling I get at the top of the pyramid."

"And you're only a sophmore and already captain of the squad?" Leroy asks.

"Yeah. It's no big deal."

"Wow. That's some accomplishment." Leroy mumbles and then looks at Rachel. "Where did you find this one and why the hell is she with you?"

She feigns hurt and says, "Oh, dad! You're going to make me cry," before sticking her tongue out at him.

"In all honesty, I'm the lucky one for having met Rachel." I say. The table aws together and Rachel leans into me to kiss me. She tastes like tomato basil soup. I hum. Then I remember I'm at the table with her dads and blush profusely. She laughs before pulling away.

"They don't care." She says and when I look at them, they're already talking about something else amongst themselves.

"In that case," I whisper moving in again and kiss her sweetly before breaking away.

"Rach," Hiram says, looking up from his phone, "Tomorrow I have to go to work at 6 and your father at 7. You guys are on your own until 5 pm. If you want, your father can take me to work so you can keep my car that way you don't have to keep paying for the rental for an entire week."

"That sounds great, daddy." She says and scoops up another spoonful of soup. "Quinn and I will drive to the car rental place as soon as we have breakfast."

Leroy gets up from the table and grabs his plate. He asks if I'm finished and I nod. He takes my plate to the kitchen with a wink and then comes back for Hiram's. Rachel's the only one still eating. "She's always the last one of us to finish eating." He supplies.

"I usually talk too much to be able to finish it alongside everyone else." She explains as if this doesn't affect her at all.

"Trust me, I've noticed." I tell them. They exchange smiles.

"You guys can go to bed." Rachel tells them. "We'll load and start the dishwasher before going to bed."

Hiram gets up and comes over to Rachel to give her a kiss on the top of her head. "Goodnight, sweetheart." Leroy does the same. They both tell me goodnight and walk down to their bedroom. The entire house is dark except for the kitchen where we're sitting, a faint light from the Mr. Berrys' bedroom, and Rachel's room's light from upstairs. I watch her finish eating and then we do as she told her father: we load and start the dishwasher.

Rachel grabs two water bottles and we head upstairs, ready to go to sleep.

I get under the covers and she waits for me to be settled to turn off the lights, close the door, run across the bedroom, and jump on top of me with a giggle. She squirms her way next to me and when I have my arms wrapped securely around her, I kiss her neck.

"I'm so happy you're here."

"Your dads are great."

"They love you."

"I hope so."

"They do."

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

"You're Jew."

"Doesn't matter."

"Okay."

"Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"This'll be fun."

"I know."

There is comfortable silence again. Just as the darkness is about to lull me into sleep, she speaks again. "Quinn?"

"Yes?"

"Are you awake?"

"I'm still talking, aren't I?" I grumble.

She sighs and wraps my arm tighter around her. I've come to know that this means she's going to bring up something I won't like. "Is this an appropriate time to bring up Finn and what we're going to do about that?"

"No."

"But, Quinn..."

"Rach. I just want to sleep. I didn't come all the way to Lima just to be jealous all over again." I shake my head against her shoulder. One of her hand caresses my scalp.

"I know. I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to bring you here and then have Finn call."

I stay quiet while I think of what I want to say.

I feel her start to move to get up but I keep her down. "No. Don't get up." I exhale. Long and calming. "You'll at least wait until Santana's here so I have someone to hang out with, right?"

"Yes. And I promise, Quinn, I promise it's a friendly encounter."

"It's okay. I believe you." I kiss her temple.

"Good. I'm planning on telling him about you anyway."

Pause. "You haven't told him about me?"

"Well, we never talk. He called out of the blue... I - It's not like I was hiding you from him, if that's what you're implying. That wouldn't make any sense."

"Fuck, Rachel. What about Facebook?" I ask, my temper is rising. It seems like lately that's how our conversations always go.

"What about it?"

"Certainly he's seen your relationship status."

"He's not the brightest guy. And he still won't be convinced for a while. That's just how he is."

"I really don't like him." I whine.

She chuckles and props herself on one elbow. My arms fall at the movement but she leans in while licking her lips and drops them to my mouth. I tilt my head to the side and automatically open my mouth. She sucks on my tongue, slowly, languidly. She purrs. I feel nails scrape down the back of my neck and it makes the hair there stand on its ends. "Okay. We can stop talking about Finn now."

"I like the sound of that."

After breakfast, morning sex, and taking the car back, Rach and I decide to go see Artie. It's a surprise, but I'm sure he'll be grateful anyway.

I know he's in town for his spring break because of Facebook. He actually goes to school in California. UCLA, full ride. We knock on his door and as soon as he opens, his mouth hangs open. "My, my. As I live and breathe... Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray! Come in!"

I laugh and bend over to hug him. His wheelchair doesn't get in the way anymore. Rachel simply sits on his lap and crosses her legs.

"To be completely honest, I didn't believe my eyes when I saw you guys were Facebook friends. And then you guys were in a relationship! Who would've thought. I've known both of you for such a long time..."

Rachel hits him on the shoulder lightly, "You should've introduced me to her a long time ago! Would've saved me so much trouble."

"I didn't even know you were gay until you left for college last semester!" He cries out.

"If you had introduced me to her, I'm sure we would've all found that out a lot earlier." The sound of our laughter fills the room. "So how have you been?"

He smiles and pushes up his glasses with his index finger, "great. School's been pretty awesome. I'm learning so much about film and television. There's so much I thought I knew that I didn't."

"I'm glad." Rachel says.

I think for a moment, weighing my options carefully, purse my lips and go for it, "So, Artie."

"Yeah?"

Rachel looks at me suspiciously.

"What can you tell me about Finn Hudson?"


	15. Sweet Caroline (Neil Diamond)

I wake up at around 9 this morning. I run out to Charlie's - my favorite bagels place - and get Quinn and I some quality bagels and coffee. I hear her padding down the stairs with her short hair sticking up in random directions. I smile big and she says, "good morning," with a soft voice and rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hands.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. How'd you sleep?" I ask her while I fix us a fruit salad of strawberries, bananas, and kiwis.

"Like I was in heaven. Your bed is amazing." She's standing under the threshold, one hand on her hair and the other on her waist. My attention is lost on her left arm, flexing like that. I lick my lips and she says, "I don't know how you ever got up from bed while in high school."

"Come have breakfast," I wallk to where she is, take her hand and make her sit on the table. "I got you a BLT bagel from Charlie's. You'll love it."

"I loved it from the moment you said 'B.'" She takes a bite of her food and instantly perks up. "Whoa, this is like really good. Insanely good."

I chuckle, "seems like someone's awake now."

She pulls me up on her lap and drops her bagel in the takeout box. "Kiss?"

I nod as my hand reaches to grab her neck and at the very last second I divert and kiss her cheek with a loud smack.

"No pork, I know." She whines. Then she pushes me off her lap and says, "now, get off. I must have some more of this."

"Rude!" I growl at her and she smiles. "I know you're punishing me for not kissing you, you ass."

"That'll teach you."

Quinn is trying to pull on a long-sleeved red shirt but I keep her from doing so by distracting her with my mouth and hands. "Rach." She says when I leave her mouth to trail open-mouthed kisses on her neck. "We gotta take the car back."

I pull away from her neck and start kissing her again, ignoring what she said. "Mmhm." She finally gives up and tosses the shirt aside. "Finally." I say, relieved and my hands grip on her sides a little too tight. She yelps and bites my lip.

Next thing that goes is my sweater. Then she reaches for my hair and pulls away the ponytail. My hair falls and she instantly threads her fingers through it. I back her to my bed and straddle her.

"The car can wait." She mumbles and I smirk.

I drive my father's car behind Quinn who's driving the rental. After we drop it off she climbs in my father's black SUV and we decide to go visit Artie. She assures me he's in town and at home. She's done some Facebook stalking while I drove us back to my side of the town. Artie lives two streets down from my house.

We knock and when he opens, his face morphs from surprise to elation, "My, my. As I live and breathe... Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray! Come in!" Quinn hugs him as she laughs and when she walks in, I sit on his lap like I used to in glee club and he rolls us into his living room. I notice nobody else is home but don't say anything because he keeps taking, "To be completely honest, I didn't believe my eyes when I saw you guys were Facebook friends. And then you guys were in a relationship! Who would've thought. I've known both of you for such a long time..."

I slap his shoulder good-heartedly and stand to sit on a chair on the corner, "You should've introduced me to her a long time ago! Would've saved me so much trouble."

"I didn't even know you were gay until you left for college last semester!"

"If you had introduced me to her, I'm sure we would've all found that out a lot earlier. So how have you been?"

He smiles and pushes up his glasses with his index finger, "great. School's been pretty awesome. I'm learning so much about film and television. There's so much I thought I knew that I didn't."

"I'm glad." I say.

"So, Artie." Quinn speaks and when I turn to face her, I can tell she's up to something.

"Yeah?"

"What can you tell me about Finn Hudson?"

"Not this again." I mumble.

"Chill, Rach. I just want to know some more from other people that know him. And I completely trust Artie to tell the truth."

I pay attention to her body language to see if she's being honest. She's so cool about it all. She's not nearly as stressed about it like she was yesterday, I can tell from the way she's sitting. She's relaxed, almost slouching on Artie's couch.

He doesn't seem too scared of Quinn. Sometimes I forget they're friends. They were probably friends even before Artie and I were in glee together. He laughs, "Finn's an interesting guy." I sit back and let them steer the conversation.

"Interesting how?"

Artie glances nervously at me and I roll my eyes, "He's a bit... immature at times. He has a hero complex. He thinks the world revolves around him and his needs. He can be a coward. He doesn't understand that he can be wrong at times..." I watch Quinn smile at this description of Finn. And then Artie says, "But he can be a great friend when you need him. He's kind and he does things out of love, even if sometimes they come off wrong."

Quinn crosses a leg over the other's knee and pulls her sleeves up, "I don't know if that sounds promising."

"I'm sure that whatever happens this break, Finn won't be a problem." I say.

"Oh, just the fact he wants to take you out on a date is a problem."

"Wait, Finn's taking you out on a date?" Artie turns his chair to face me. I can feel my cheeks blushing. "What about Quinn?"

"Yeah, what about Quinn?" She mocks me.

"It's not a date!" I defend myself. "Just two friends going out for a burger... or whatever."

"That's... definitely a date." He says, confusion etched on his face. He narrows his eyes, "dude, Rachel. You know Finn."

Quinn is looking at me with defiance and her arms are crossed. She's expecting my answer. I shrug, "Yeah. I know. I do. Better than any of you in this room, so if you guys would kindly stop teaming up on me, it'd be very much appreciated. Can't we talk about something geeky?" I beg Artie. He sees the desperation in my eyes.

"Sure," he sighs, "we can. Um, maybe I can show you guys some of the videos I've worked on while at school."

"That sounds great!" Quinn says and stands up to help guide Artie's chair to his room where his computer is. She throws one last grin at me before they disappear down the hall.

I'm watching Quinn and Artie fawn over some movie that's coming out soon when I get a text.

Santana Lopez: Quinn told me about you meeting Finn. I gave you some time to tell me about it but you didn't.

Rachel Berry: it's no big deal, Santana.

Santana Lopez: I get there in two days. How's Quinn taking it all? If I were her, I'd already have hunted him down and killed him.

Rachel Berry: Good thing she isn't you then.

Honestly, I don't know why I get so defensive of my feelings when people bring up Finn. I'm not still into him. I wouldn't even be able to tell you what I saw him that made me like him so much before. I really have to see him though. He said he really needs a friend and I know he has no one else.

Santana Lopez: If he so much as touches you, I'll fucking KILL him, Rachel.

Rachel Berry: You're not my girlfriend.

Santana Lopez: No, and thank God for that. But I'd let your girlfriend know and she'd murder him. And I'd hold him back.

I insist on seeing him just so I don't regret it later. Just so I can say I was the bigger person. Is that twisted? Quinn will never understand my need to verify that I'm actually doing okay without Finn; that I'm doing better than him. So I leave that thought unspoken.

Rachel Berry: He's not planning anything! We're just grabbing a bite.

Santana Lopez: Does he even know you're dating someone?

Rachel Berry: Well, if he's checked my relationship status...

Not even thirty seconds later my phone starts ringing and I excuse myself to pick up, annoyed.

"You haven't told him!"

"Calm down, Santana."

"Rachel, what the hell are you doing to Quinn? You took her to Lima!"

I try to keep my voice neutral, "I know... And since when have you two become friends?"

"We're not." She says immediately. And then, "and so what if we were? I thought that's what you wanted."

"It is. It's just... Weird."

"Well, whatever. Don't say I didn't warn you."

I think back on our conversation and come to a conclusion, "you haven't warned me of anything."

"He's going to do something really fucked up and it'll end up hurting Quinn."

I'm still on the phone with Santana when Quinn and Artie show up. Artie nods at me and disappears to the kitchen. Quinn comes over and sits next to me on the couch but doesn't ask any questions nor does she actively listen to the conversation. I tell her, "It's Santana."

"Cool. Tell her I said hi."

"Quinn says 'hi.'" I tell Santana.

"Hi back." She says with a dry tone. "Anyway, like I was saying, make sure you are completely honest and open to that doofus. He's so dumb I don't think he'll get it until you provide evidence."

"What are you saying?"

"He's going to have to see you with her." She says matter-of-factly.

"Uh, definitely not. I do not want to meet him. I'll end up going to prison." Quinn says next to me and picks up one of Artie's books on digital cameras from his coffee table.

Artie rolls back in with a tray. On it there are two cups of sweet tea and a lemonade.

"She doesn't want to meet him. And I agree. There's no need. Anyway, I'm gonna go. I'll see you when you get here." I say. She grumbles a 'bye' on the other side and disconnects before I have the chance to reply.

Artie hands me one of the sweet teas. "Here, I know you love this." I thank him and grab it. "The lemonade's yours, Q. I know you hate tea. I remember that one time -"

I zone him out. Quinn hates tea? One, how do I not know that? And two, she hates it? I vaguely recall her drinking tea on our very first date. That's weird. "You hate tea?" I blurt out at her.

"Yeah." She shrugs and takes a long sip of the lemonade. "This is delicious, Artie. Thanks. Your mom makes the best lemonade." She hands me the cup and I take it without thinking. I take a sip and nod approvingly.

Then I think some more and snap, "Wait, since when do you hate tea?"

She exchanges an amused look with Artie and says, "since ever?" I can tell she's completely thrown by all these questions but she's not offended by them. She's just casually answering every single one of them. She grabs the lemonade back and practically downs half of the cup.

"But you totally had tea on our first date." I point out to her.

She laughs and then bites her lip. Her eyes dart from me to Artie, then back to me and then to the floor, "It was our first date. I was having what you were having." She explains.

My heart melts. "When were you planning on telling me?" I ask with a soft smile and a hand to her hand.

"Well, I completely forgot. I - I don't usually drink tea when we go out, do I? I always end up ordering a lemonade or a water."

Artie's chuckling, "I think it's sweet you had tea for Rachel. Damn, you never drink tea."

"Yeah. Ever since that one time." She says, nose scrunching up in disgust.

"What happened that one time?" I ask and look from Artie to Quinn.

Quinns eyes widen comically and she looks at Artie with an expression that begs him not to say it. Her cheeks are red and she ventures a desperate look at me.

"Who's up for some Game of Life?" He asks to deflect and then rolls away before any of us have the chance to reply.

"What! Tell me, Quinn!"

"It's nothing, really. Just really embarrassing." She chuckles nervously. Artie comes back with the game on his lap and I decide to let it go. For now.

My fathers come home and Quinn and I scramble from the kitchen up to the room in a rush, holding on to whatever clothes we were able to grab. I hear the car doors opening and shutting and then the garage door does the same. Quinn hands me my shirt and I hand her her sweatpants - we weren't really looking, we just grabbed.

I'm laughing behind my hand, leaning with my bare back against my closed door. When I look at Quinn she's pale. It makes me laugh harder.

"Why are you laughing?" She hisses, "We almost got caught having sex in your parent's kitchen!"

"Relax," I tell her, "we only got as far as removing clothes." I remind her and then use a finger to call her to me. I try to make the sexiest face possible but I'm still laughing so it doesn't work. She eventually - but reluctantly - comes to me and drops her hands to my waist. I smirk. I smirk and stare at her eyes until they meet mine and they are dark. I chuckle under my breath. She raises and eyebrow and then lunges forward to take my mouth.

"Let's see if you'll keep laughing when you fathers hear you moan my name multiple times as you come, Rachel."

Fuck.

I have to bite my arm when I do come.

"Tell us about that play you're doing on theater and the off-Broadway!"

"Dad, you already heard so much about it." I try to pretend like I don't want to talk about it but Quinn scoffs and both my dads outright laugh. "Okay, so, the play at school is going at a pretty good pace. It's not that challenging for me but it's still a play. I'm really excited about getting the lead in Spring Awakening though."

"She didn't even believe it when she got it, which is a little bit out of character, but it's what happened." Quinn offers. She's actually holding my hand on top of the table and hasn't worried about how my fathers would react. She eyes me once and says, "But I knew she was going to get it."

Dad asks, "was there not a lot of competition?"

"Dad!"

"I'm kidding, honey. I know that people don't compare to you, right, Quinn?" He throws her a wink and she nods.

"You're right, Leroy. The only other real competition would've been this girl Harmony but that's only because she's the daughter of the guy in charge of scouting talent."

Both of them sit up on their chairs, "That's interesting."

The conversation around dinner went from there to classes, to midterms, to all of our friends and their relationships. When I told my fathers about Santana actually in a relationship - with a girl - , they were both surprised and I think I actually saw tears in Daddy's eyes. When I asked him about them he said, "she's like our other daughter; I'm just happy, that's all."

Quinn kept making circles with the pad of her thumb on the back of my hand, and it was a good dinner.

We're cuddled on the couch - neutral territory because we don't want my fathers to assume we're having sex all the time. Or at all. We're watching the classic West Side Story. I feel Quinn's warm skin enveloping my arms and I feel safe, even though I'm at home.

"Watch, I like this part." She points out. I just now realize I've been more focused on how she feels around me than the movie. It's okay though. I've seen it enough times, it'll forgive me.

I turn in her arms to face her and her eyes immediately leave the TV and seek mine in the dark. When they meet, she smiles like it's the first time we're found in this position. I smile back. "Tell me about the tea?" I ask.

She laughs and makes the effort to reach for the remote behind me and pause the movie. "It was summer of '99. I already didn't like tea then but this experience simply - anyway. Artie and his mom were in Columbus for a weekend and we all decided to go to a lake and have a picnic. Well, I have a cousin who just so happens to be a freakin' moron." She shakes her head. "We were still in the car, driving - me, Artie, him, and my mom and aunt. He really had to go so they told him to pee in a bottle. The thing is: I was asleep and when I woke up I was thirsty. He somehow convinced me to try the 'tea' without anyone else in the car realizing it and..."

"DID YOU DRINK THAT?" I shout interrupting her anecdote.

"No, thankfully! I had the bottle halfway up to my mouth when Artie noticed what I was about to drink and he told me to stop. I had thought it smelled funny but... I don't know, I was young."

I sigh and relax. "That was a close call."

"Yeah. So, I always associate tea with pee."

"Hey, that sorta rhymed! Why didn't you say it on our first date? You could've ordered something else."

She rolls our bodies so that I'm on my back and she's hovering on top of me, "because it didn't matter. Not what I was drinking. I didn't even realize it, honestly, until he came back with the drinks." She pecks my forehead, then my nose, and then deliciously drags her lips down to my lips.

"McKinley High School." Artie says with pompous this morning. We decided to come see the school just for Quinn.

Quinn is standing in front of me, leaning back into my body as I sit on the hood of the car. My thighs are under her arms and I keep running my hand through her short strands. Artie is on his chair to our side. We are parked in front of the main entrance, the building towering above us.

"I don't know if I miss this place or not." I say.

Artie chuckles and shakes his head, "no kidding. I have so many feelings about this place."

"I think that's true for everyone with their high school. At least that's how I feel about mine." Quinn speaks.

"Really?" I ask at the same time that Artie throws a hand up and says, "Preach."

"Yeah. I was always at the top but was always afraid I'd be taken down." It's silent for a while around us and then we hear thunder far away. For some reason we all start laughing when the rain hits us.

We drive back to Artie's and we chill while he plays the guitar. He does a rendition of Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline and I think of how I once believed life didn't get better than Finn Hudson. And what the hell am I doing by caring what he still thinks of me?

Hands touching hands  
Reaching out  
Touching me touching you

I hold Quinn's hand when Artie sings that and she smiles at me, and I agree that what we have is only growing strong, even through all the crap we've been going through lately.

After a while, we get bored again so Artie suggests for us to go get some froyo. I immediatelly agree to the idea and Quinn admits to being a froyo lover. Ever since I was home last, they opened a new place close to our neighborhood. We decide to walk there now that the rain has stopped. Artie accompanies us at a steady pace and we tell him about how we met, how she took care of me, how Quinn left her iPod with me to give me the hint, and our first date.

He asks if there are any more girls like Quinn there for me to introduce him to. We laugh. He promises he's getting some action at UCLA.

"So Santana gets here tomorrow morning." I say over a mouthful of pizza.

"Don't chew with your mouth full, Rachel." Quinn admonishes me. I glare at her and she irks an eyebrow in defiance.

I chew and then open my mouth wide so she can see it's clear. "I was thinking that maybe she can take you to watch the Cheerios practice."

"She'd never agree to that."

"She already did."

I wake up startled in the middle of the night. What an... awkward dream. Quinn and Finn met and he thought she was hot.

I feel Quinn stir as I'm trying to gain control of my breathing again and then her hand starts making soothing circles on my back.

"Are you okay?" Her voice is groggy behind me and despite the way I woke up, I smile.

"Just fine," I lie and smile at her. "Go back to sleep." I move some hair that's stuck to her forehead and kiss it.

She mumbles, "kay," before falling back asleep.

"San!" I hug her tight and she has her arms around my neck.

"Berry." She pulls me away and says, "stop acting like I haven't seen you in years." I humph and step back.

"Hey, Santana."

"Fabray."

"What's with you and last names?" Quinn asks, narrowing her eyes at Santana.

"Less personal." She replies but then just as quick steps in and hugs Quinn... which, pretty much surprises all of us.

"Satan! Welcome home." Artie says once that's over, and Santana bends over and pats his head.

"I can't believe I actually missed you."

"I'm honored." He says with an eye roll. "But I missed you, too. How's school?" We start walking (and rolling) back to my dad's SUV, with Santana dragging her suitcase behind her, and Quinn leading the way.

"You know, we don't have to do the small talk." She tells him and he shuts up. "You seeing Finn today, Rach?" She directs at me and Quinn tenses. I can see the change in her walk when Santana brings him up.

I stutter, "I- well, that was the plan. To go when you got home."

"I'm sure she's been waiting for you all break." Quinn barks and then gets in the driver's side, slams the door shut, and puts her forehead on the wheel.

"Thanks a fucking lot." I tell Santana and elbow her on the ribs.

She shrugs, "what? You are going to see him. It's not my fault you're a brainless idiot."

We drive Santana to her house so she can drop her stuff off there, and after she says hi to her parents and younger siblings, we drive back to mine.

Artie catches my eye some point during Rock Band and decides to show Quinn something awesome on his new iPad, so he ushers her to the den. As soon as the door closes, Santana laughs.

"Fuck you." I say.

"She's taking this well. I would probably be threatening everyone with the razor blades hidden in my hair." Her ponytail swings with attitude when she crosses her arms and falls back on the couch.

I sigh, "what do I do? He's expecting me to be at the burger place at 6 tonight. I told her about you taking her to watch a Cheerios practice."

"I still don't understand how that'll keep her distracted. It'll only make me angry."

"Hey, how about you actually try to help me here?"

"So you can go have a visit with your asshole of an ex-boyfriend who's an asshole? Oh wait, did I already call him an ass?"

I glare at her, "Please, just try to distract her and don't keep reminding her of that."

"You look very nice." Quinn says when she comes in my bedroom. I'm getting ready to go meet Finn. I'm wearing jeans and a polo with converse shoes and a jacket. I look... average.

She crosses her arms and stares at me from the door. I motion for her to come close and she shakes her head. "Why not?" I whine.

"I can't really..." she sighs and then looks at me, "I can't give you what you want right now."

"And that is?"

"A blessing for you to go out with him." She says and drops her gaze. "I'm sorry."

That makes me stop messing with my hair and make my way to her. I don't try to touch her right then because I don't know how she would react but I dip my head enough so I can look her in the eyes and say, "Don't apologize for that."

"I - It's -"

"Really, Quinn. Just... it'll make me feel worse about this. I just want to get this over with and move on. I have to go but you can trust me."

"It's not you I don't trust."

I understand what she means. I don't trust Finn either and she hasn't been hearing great things about him from anyone so I just nod. After three heartbeats of silence she stretches her arms, pulling me into her, and leans back on the wall. "Damn you, Berry."

It's very quiet in the car. Quinn decided she would meet Finn. I'm pretty sure that had to do with Santana convincing her, just so she could claim territory, but I don't bring it up. Santana is sitting on the back seat, smack in the middle, with her arms crossed like a petulant child.

The rain hitting the windows of the car makes a soft pitter-patter noise and the skies are dark. "I don't know if the Cheerios practice today." I try to break the tension.

"They might be in the gym."

"Isn't it a little late for cheerleading practice?"

"They have cheer from 1pm to 6pm. We might catch the end of it." Santana explains.

"It's almost 5:30pm," Quinn points out.

Santana says, "whatever. They're not even that great anyway. We'll find something better to do."

I round the corner to Breadstix. Finn texted earlier and said it'd be better to go there so whatever.

"We're here!" Santana says, all fake enthusiasm and shit.

"Yeah." I agree. "Um, we'll stop the car in front of the door and you can meet him and stuff. It'll be painless. Then you guys can go do whatever." I try to sound casual and like it's not a big deal but for some reason I sound squeaky.

She bites her lip and frowns, "okay."

I step out of the car first and catch Santana by the elbow before Quinn's completely out of the car, "please. Be nice."

She pulls away and starts making way to the front door. I walk to where Quinn's still just standing there, a blank expression on her face. "Let's go." I grab her hand and follow Santana.

Finn's still not here, which doesn't surprise me. I tell the hostess that we're a party for two. She looks at me with the two girls framing me and must think I can't do Math but I ignore her and we all sit on a bench by the wall. It's extremely awkward.

Five minutes later, in from the rain comes Finn Hudson. Dressed in jeans and a button-up shirt. He looks like he's in a hurry. He completely misses us and makes a bee-line for the waitress. I try to keep my eyes away from Quinn all the time, but I can tell that Santana, on the other side of me, is already upset.

The hostess points at me, and he turns around. When he sees me he takes a step back and then a slow half-grin shows up on his face. "Rach." He says. Quinn doesn't make a sound, but her body is frigid. I stand up and before I say anything, Santana beats me to it.

"Hudson, I see you still look like a sack of potatoes." And points to his gut. It's not even that obvious but she's always managed to make him feel self-conscious.

He pulls his shirt down and acknowledges her, "Hi, Santana."

She huffs, crosses her arms, and sits back down.

Finn's attention snaps to the blonde standing mute next to me, "uh, hi."

"Oh, right. This is Quinn. My girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" He questions and tilts his head in confusion at her.

"And you're the infamous Finn Hudson." Quinn says extending her hand at him. When I look at her she's smiling and exuding as much confidence as she was that day she met Harmony. It was as if the Quinn who drove here was left behind on that bench where Santana is sulking and this is another person. "It's very nice to meet you. You're even taller in person." Wow. She's charming.

"Infamous? Girlfriend?" he asks me again. "I don't know what infamous means." His smile falters and Santana chuckles.

"It's a good thing, don't worry." Quinn assuages him. He looks at her and she says, "well, I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about so San and I are gonna go."

"Uh, sure."

"I'll see you later, baby." She husks in my ear. I don't even know how turned on I am until she tigthens her grip on my waist and uses her other hand to turn my face. She threads her fingers in the hair behind my head and kisses me. Then she lets go, looks at Santana and says, "I'm driving." She grabs the keys from my limp hand - I'm still wrapping my head around what just happened - and leaves with a wave at Finn. "See ya later, Hudson."

Through the door I can see them get in the car, Quinn deflates and then takes a deep breath as she takes off.

"Wow." Finn says. I can't tell which one of us is more surprised.

"Yeah, wow."

"She's..." he searches for a word until he snaps his fingers once, "hot. Really hot. Quinn, you said her name was?"

I chuckle but stare him down, "don't even think about it."

"I was just saying!" He throws his hands up in defense. "Anyway, so you are dating..."

"Seems to be that way." I say.

It's awkward and quiet for a minute, but then the waitress calls my name and we're led to our seat.

He laughs, quietly, and then wipes his mouth, "yeah, it seems like you're doing great." Throughout dinner I filled him in this second semester with meeting Quinn, getting the play, and the musical. I told him how it feels like I'm exactly where I thought I'd be. When he concludes that though, the only thing I can think of - or rather person, is Quinn and her exuberant smile and beautiful personality.

"Yeah. This girl is going to be the death of me." I admit through a proud grin. "I mean, you saw her. She's charming, polite, funny, intelligent, and gorgeous."

"I'm happy for you, Rach. I really am. But I have to admit, I sort of had other ideas of what'd happen tonight." He shrugs and moves his meatball around the marinara sauce in his plate.

I sigh, "Trust me. I've heard theories from Santana and Artie."

"Hey!" His voice trembles. "Whatever they told you, you know is a lie. You know me better than anyone."

"Finn, I don't know if that's an appropriate comment to make. I actually only put my girlfriend through this today because I had to tell you face-to-face that my life is perfect as is."

"But I need you. I'm not doing so good in school and I don't have any friends."

I put my hand on top of his and he looks away from the gesture but doesn't pull away. "I'm truly sorry but my girlfriend doesn't deserve the heartache that comes from us hanging out. The only reason I haven't told her I'm only seeing you to let you know this is because I didn't want her to feel bad about it. She'd probably feel worse than she already does because she hasn't given me her 'blessing.'"

"But Rach. You are a big deal in my life. There's life before you and then life after you. And nobody I meet compares to you. Can we at least be friends?"

"I'm afraid that's not a good idea anymore."

"Because of a girl you just met?"

"Yeah."

"You're gonna trade our history for a girl you just met?" He pulls his hand from under mine and recoils it tight to his chest. "we've known each other for four years! You've known her for less than three months!"

"Three years in which at least one you treated me like complete and utter shit. And then you fucked Santana over: literally and then figuratively. And," my temper is rising. I can no longer look him in the eyes, "you managed to make me feel bad for you having slept with her."

"You kissed my best friend to make me jealous!"

"And you slept with her for popularity. We weren't together but you know it hurt. It didn't matter that we were broken up to you but it did to me."

He shakes his head, unbelieving, "you know what? You don't deserve me anyway." And with that he gets up, throws a $50 dollar bill on the table, and leaves.

I'm shocked. The first thing I do after that is call Santana because I know that if I call Quinn, I'll cry. She assures me they'll be here soon, so I smile politely at a concerned looking waitress, add $5 to the $50 atop the table, and leave the restaurant to wait outside.

The sky is clear with only the moon hanging above. I stand under the streetlight, waiting for my girls with my arms crossed. I pull out my phone to call them again when I hear, "Rachel!"

I turn to face him. He looks distraught, sad. He comes closer under the light and grabs my upper arms, "I was going to leave you here and never look back, but - I... Just. Let. Me."And by the time he says the last word his lips are so close to mine we're sharing the same breath.

I don't move, don't breathe, and I most certainly do not kiss him back. I'm so caught off guard and so - disturbed by this that all I manage to get out is a feeble whimper.

He pulls away, smirks, and says, "how'd you like that?"

And I slap him.

The sound ricochets off in the nothingness around us. A couple passing by pretends they didn't see anything. My hands are shaking. His face is red.

He's holding on to his cheek when he demands, "what the fuck, Rachel?" There's thunder in the background and I faintly register the flash of a lightening.

I'm franctically walking back and forth back and forth and I stop in front of him with an index finger pointing at his chest. "Are you stupid? Where did you get the idea that kissing me was the right thing to do?" Then for some reason that is unfathomable to me, I worry about him. "Oh, my God. When Santana hears about this - when Quinn finds out - you'll be a dead man." I take one steadying breath and earnestly tell him, "maybe you should go. And, please, don't try to contact me anymore."

He nods, sullenly. His ego is deflated and the boy that I used to love looks like is gone forever. "Goodbye, Rach." He says and this time I watch him get in his car and go.

"Bye, Finn."


	16. I'm On Fire (John Mayer)

I stay quiet while we're driving to Breadstix but mostly because I'm trying to plan my meeting with Finn Hudson ahead of time.

Somehow, Santana convinced me that meeting Finn Hudson is the right thing to do if Rachel's going to see him.

Finn Hudson.

Finn.

Ugh. What an ugly name.

I know I sound bitter. And it's true. At least I'm not as obvious about it like Santana. She looks like she's about to throw a tantrum at any minute in the back seat of the car.

"I don't know if the Cheerios practice today." Rachel says. For a split second I wonder why and then I realize it's raining. The sky is so dark that I imagine for a second that it's late at night but it's only 5:25.

"They might be in the gym," Santana says. She should know, right? She was in the Cheerios.

"Isn't it a little late for cheerleading practice?" I ask. Sue drills us hard with our practices back in New York but they are never in the late evening. We try to get all of our practices done in the morning unless we really need to practice.

"They have cheer from 1pm to 6pm. We might catch the end of it," Santana's voice comes from the back.

"It's almost 5:30pm," I say, barely turning around in my seat for Santana to hear.

"Whatever. They're not even that great anyway. We'll find something better to do." I can almost hear her huff impatiently. She unbuckles her seat-belt and I notice the large sign with 'Breadstix' written in green script.

"We're here!" Sometimes I can't stand Santana's cynicism, but when she says that I can't help but smile a little bit. I'm every bit as excited about this damn meeting as she is. Which is basically not at all.

"Yeah. Um, we'll stop the car in front of the door and you can meet him and stuff. It'll be painless. Then you guys can go do whatever." I can tell Rachel's nervous about this. I feel awful about how I've been giving her a hard time but I can't help hating this guy already.

"Okay." In my head, I sound upset but Rachel doesn't seem to notice. She gets out of the car, and while I'm taking my time, I notice her pull Santana by the elbow and whisper something in her ear.

I just stand there, looking up at this restaurant's logo. Just another regular restaurant, but still promising so much. "Let's go," she says and takes my hand into hers. We follow Santana inside. She's holding the door open for us and right then I decide that Santana is really an awesome friend, no matter what kind of shit comes out of her mouth.

My eyes instinctively look for the tall boy with the dopey smile, but he's nowhere to be found so I sit to Rachel's left, Santana sits to her right and we sit in silence.

That is until he bursts into the place. He's wet, looks like a lost dog but he's dressed nicely. I try not to seem too tense but the moment the hostess points at Rachel and he turns around, I feel my blood grow cold. I can literally hear Santana fuming. She keeps scoffing, over and over, angrier and angrier.

"Rach."

Santana's tongue is always ready to snap. "Hudson, I see you still look like a sack of potatoes." The way she makes him nervous gives me the confidence I'd been lacking up until this point. I stand up casually and stroll next to where Rachel's standing, looking at him.

"Hi, Santana." He says, a mixture of fear and anger in his voice. "Uh, hi." This he directs at me. I'm in position to impress. I will not get out of here having given him the satisfaction to see me upset about this damn meeting. I plaster the best fake smile I know on my face and roll my shoulders back. I just have to deal with him as if he were from an opposing cheering team.

I size him up while Rachel's talking, "Oh, right. This is Quinn. My girlfriend." He's not even that much taller than me. I could totally take him, if push comes to shove. Okay, so maybe he's a little taller, but I'm clearly smarter and wits trump strength. Always.

"Girlfriend?" The way his head lulls to the side would be endearing to any other girl but it makes me cringe internally. I don't let it show though.

I stick my hand out and give him a firm handshake, "And you're the infamous Finn Hudson. It's very nice to meet you. You're even taller in person." I casually glance back and forth between him and Rach and he just looks confused.

He's too dumb to realize that he should be speaking to me since I spoke to him, but instead he turns to Rachel and asks, "Infamous? Girlfriend? I don't know what infamous means." His smile falters and I can see the pieces moving in his brain, trying to figure out what it means.

He seems lost in his head, so I save him. "It's a good thing, don't worry." He finally looks back down at me, "well, I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about so San and I are gonna go." I point back at where Santana is chuckling at him. At least she's trying to pretend like she's hiding it but she's not doing so great.

"Uh, sure." I wonder if he's really always this awkward or is it just my presence that's making him dumber.

This is the moment I have to seize. Santana said to make sure to remind both him and Rachel who she belongs to. Not in a way that'd make her upset, but in such a way that'll tease her and she won't even know what hit her. "I'll see you later, baby." I say in her ear and with my fingertips traveling up her cheek, I feel her shiver slightly. She unconsciously licks her lips when my fingers grasp onto her hair and then I kiss her. With enough tongue to leave her wanting more but not too much that it becomes sloppy. "I'm driving," I tell Santana when I pull away. I take the keys from Rachel's hand and leave them both dumbfounded. "See ya later, Hudson." It's a goodbye, but it's always foreshadowing that this will be the last of him we'll ever hear of, if I have anything to say about that.

I refuse to look back as I push out the double doors of the restaurant. Santana is on my heel, but she keeps quiet. At least this is something we can both agree on: Finn Hudson is a fucking tool.

I start breathing again when I get behind the wheel. I don't turn on the ignition; San and I simply sit there as my forehead rests on the circular object in front of me. I let the bult-up energy escape my body. Then, I turn the key, the car comes to life and I start driving.

"So tell me where you're really taking me. I know you're not going to torture yourself by watching your ex-squad practice." I say when I stop at the first red light on the intersection.

Santana actually smiles, "you are smart. I don't know why Rachel insisted on that idea; I think she just wants it to remind me of how much I love cheerleading." She makes a motion with her hand for me to turn right so I do. "And don't worry about this place... you're going to love it. I promise." And that makes me worry.

I try to convince myself that Santana wouldn't take me to a junkyard to murder me and then leave me. Especially now but you never know with this girl.

With Black Eyed Peas singing in the background, she ventures a, "Quinn."

"Yeah?"

"Turn left on the second signal." She instructs. "So, we can agree that you and I both hate Finn Hudson, right?"

I don't even need to think about the question, "yeah, we hate him."

"And Rachel's happiness is very important."

"Definitely." She stops talking then. It seems like she wasn't asking me those things, she was telling me. She was implying something without as many words. "I guess that kind of makes us allies. Friends." I voice her thoughts. She doesn't squeal, nor does she deny it. She does turn up the music louder and starts singing along and thorws me a look. She juts her chin out at me which I take it as a sign to sing too. So I do.

Throughout the song, Santana keeps gesturing directions until we reach an outlet strip. She points to where she wants to take me and I break the car abruptly.

"No!" I shout over the music.

"Come on! Berry will love it!"

"Maybe she will, but I'm not going in there with you."

She exhales frustrated at me and then snaps her head to the side to stare me down, "Listen, blondie, just - your girl is out tonight with an ex-boyfriend. A dude. But if she comes home with you and then you show her she doesn't need him at all..." She trails off with her palms stretched open. "Get it?"

As I wonder why I keep listening to Santana, I park the car and get out. She basically drags me inside and I can feel the heat rising in my body as I observe the place. She seems like she knows what she wants ao she leads me to a section at the far left end of the store.

"Stop walking like you have a stick up your ass, Quinn. Just come here. Look - this one is awesome!"

Santana gets a call not too late after we buy the item. We're actually still standing by the cashier, and she's handing me my card back. Santana looks at the screen, throws me a glance, and walks down the aisle talking on the phone. It's a quick conversation and I know I'm trying to pry but I have a feeling it has to do with Rachel. She comes back and says, in a calm voice, "Rachel called. Let's go get her, okay?" I know what she's implying. Something happened. That idiot did something to her and -

"What happened?" I ask.

"She didn't give details. Let me drive. I can get there faster."

I relinquish the control of the keys to her and she climbs behind the wheel. I throw my newest acquisition next to my feet, and sit back on the seat. My hands stay open, holding on to my thighs. I watch the buildings on Main St pass by and clutch on to my phone tight, just in case she wants to call me, too. But, she doesn't. After her call to Santana we don't get anything else.

I don't think Santana understands the meaning of speed limits or breaking. She turns into the parking lot of Breadstix and my eyes immediately look for Rachel. She's perfectly perched on a bench outside of the restaurant, alone. Santana stops the car in the middle of the road and we both get out and break into a run for her. She stands when she sees us, and that's when I notice the tears glimmering against the light. I make it to her first and pull her into my arms. Hers automatically twist around my neck.

"Baby, what happened?" I ask her and she mumbles something into my neck. Santana catches up to us, panting.

"What the hell did that man-child do?"

"Santana, please." She says, her voice tiny.

I give Santana a look to shut her up when it seems like she's going to insist on it. "Fine." She mumbles and goes back to the car.

"Rachel, please, just tell me what happened, okay?"

"But you're going to get upset..."

"No, I won't." I assure her even though I'm lying and probably will be very mad.

She picks up my fingers, both of us trembling slightly, and starts to tell me what happened. "I told him that it'd be better if he and I weren't friends anymore. But he got angry and asked if I would trade four years of history for you." The look she gives me here is the most adoring look I've ever seen on her. It's as if she's asking how could she not without actually having to say it.

"Oh, babe." I feel horrible for being upset at her for meeting him. Now that I look back, I should have tried to understand better what she was doing. Still, I can't help it that I hate it.

"So then he leaves me there, all by myself in the restaurant and I don't know what to do. So I called Santana. I couldn't - I'm sorry but I couldn't call you because I would start crying..." I reach up and use my thumbs to wipe a few tears streaming down her perfect cheeks. Then her voice comes out soft and barely audible, "But when I was here, outside, waiting, he showed up again and kissed me."

I deadpan, "He did what?" I ask to make sure I heard her right. She flinches at my tone of voice.

She is quick to add, "But I slapped him. I slapped him hard for kissing me and I demanded to know just why he thought that was right. So I told him to leave."

He kissed her. That fucking idiot kissed my girlfriend. Those lips. I feel sick. My head is dizzy. I keep picturing his hands touching her and then I remember that he's actually had her before. I stand up slowly and put my hand on my chin. My eyes close and I try to take in deep breaths. Rachel's been calling out my name softly but I can't bear to look at her. I'm not mad at her, it's just that I need the time to process this.

She gets up, wiping tears from her face, "Quinn?"

"I need you to show me where he lives." I try to say it as calmly as possible but I'm pretty sure my eyes convey that I want to murder him and I do.

"Quinn! I'm not going to take you to his house for you to beat him up. Plus, he's so much bigger than you."

I grit my teeth, "Fine, if you won't, I'm sure Santana wouldn't mind it."

She gasps audibly, "You wouldn't."

"Try me." I warn her and narrow my eyes.

"Can't we just go home and forget this ever happened? I'm never going to see him again."

The hell it can. I stare at her, trying to understand what she's asking of me, and at this point I feel like she's asked too much. To see Finn. For me to be okay with her seeing Finn. For me to leave her alone with Finn. For me to understand why she had to see him. For me to not be upset when she tells me he kissed her... I need to get this all out.

I stop my train of thought and drop my hands to my sides. "Okay. As long as he doesn't become an even bigger problem."

She takes this as an invitation and comes closer. My hands crawl up her back and I pull her in for a breathless kiss. She instantly responds, sucking my tongue, licking the roof of my mouth. Except that I can't deal with the fact that not even an hour ago his tongue was in her mouth and that she faintly tastes like fucking iced tea.

The ride back to Rachel's is not any less uncomfortable than the ride to the restaurant. Santana manages to only make one bitchy remark about Rachel meeting Finn and after that it gets really eerie.

Santana stops the car in front of her house and when I'm moving spots to drive she places a hand on my shoulder, "What the fuck happened?"

I look back in the car and Rachel's still, leaning her head on the window, staring blankly ahead.

"He kissed her."

She mutters a few curses to describe Finn and then looks at me, "Fuck him, Q." Santana calling me 'Q' is like she has just admitted we're friends. I decide not to linger on it not to piss her off. "I'm mostly still upset at Rachel for meeting him anyway. I'll talk to her about it tomorrow or something."

I reach for the handle, "Yeah. I'm sure she's gonna want to talk to you, too. Well, I should take this one home. She's pretty beat and if we keep talking, she'll just ask a bunch of questions." I glance at her again. Her eyes are now shut.

"Okay. Good night, Quinn. See you tomorrow."

"Good night, Santana. Thank you for the, um, gift."

"No worries. Put it to good use before the end of break." She winks at me and leaves.

I shake my head and actually chuckle. I get in the car and accidentally let the door slam. "Shit." I whisper at myself.

Rachel stirs and looks at me, "Quinn?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Are you upset at me?"

I let the question linger in the air as I think. To break the silence I turn the car on and pull away. I don't know if I'm upset with her. Not about the kiss but about being adamant about seeing Finn even though both Santana and I told her we didn't think it was a good idea, maybe. "I can't tell for sure."

"I figured." She mumbles and drops her head on the window.

I grab her hand anyway, "Well, we agreed never to go to bed upset-slash-mad at each other, right? So, uh, for tonight I just want you to forget that whole Finn fiasco."

Santana's house is thankfully very close so we get here in less than five minutes. I get out of the car and make sure I open the door for Rachel. She hugs me tight and kisses me on the cheek before taking my hand. I beep the car close and let her take me inside and up to her room. We don't even check to see if her parents are home or if they're doing anything.

I watch Rachel close the door, lock it, and undress for me. Then she reaches for my clothes and starts taking them off of me - piece by piece - until we're both standing naked in front of each other. The moonlight illuminates the room through her window. I pull her close and we stumble backwards until the back of my knees hit the bed and we fall. She chuckles against my neck and tucks her head under my chin. "Good night." I tell her.

"Good night."

"Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's barbecue day!" Rachel's daddy, Leroy, is yelling at the top of his lungs. He's wearing bright pink swimming shorts and a white shirt. Hiram looks at him with pursed lips and a raised eyebrow. "I love barbecue at the Lopez'!" He tells us.

Rachel and I have just come down for breakfast. We're not even fully awake yet. Well, I know I'm not. Rachel seems pretty functional. She smiles at Leroy, and rolls her eyes at Hiram. "Morning, parental units."

"Morning, burden of my life." Leroy chirps and hugs her.

Hiram offers her a mug, she takes it. "Coffee, Quinn?" He asks me.

"Thank you." I take it from his hands and take a cautious sip from it. He smiles politely.

"So, you kids ready for today?" Leroy asks, still overly-excited for 7 in the morning.

"Yes," Rachel says, "what time will you guys be going over?"

Hiram glances up from a newspaper he started reading and says, "probably around 11, right?" He asks Leroy.

"Yes! Do you girls have anything planned for this morning?"

"No, I think we're just going to lie around and do nothing." Rachel says.

"Well, since it's still 7:15 in the morning, and we don't have to start getting ready until 9, you and I could go to bed for another hour and a half..." I propose. Leroy coughs awkwardly. I look at him, then at Rachel's awestruck, red red red face, and then to Hiram pretending he actually hasn't heard anything. Then I concentrate and think back on what I said and, "Oh my, God! Not like that!" I throw both hands on my face, in shame. "Oh, gosh. Someone kill me now. Please, a lightening from above, strike me and kill me." I start rambling but my voice is not even intelligible anymore.

Leroy is the first to try to fix the awkwardness, "Uh, no problem?"

I keep my hands on my face until Rachel pries them away and looks at me with amused eyes, but her cheeks are still tinted red. "It's okay, Quinn." Then she leans forward and whispers in my ear, "you're cute when you ramble." Then giggles and kisses my cheek.

I nod to let her know I heard her and excuse myself to go to Rachel's room. I'm fumbling around looking for clothes to wear to the barbecue when she sneaks in the room and shuts the door. "So, Quinn... my dads went out with Mr. Lopez to buy the meat for the barbecue." She says, walking toward me with her hands behind her back. I raise an eyebrow at her because she's acting really suspicious.

"Isn't it early? It's not even 8 yet." I say.

She shrugs, "it's the best time to buy the meat, or so they said. Anyway, I went back to the SUV before they left to grab my jacket that I left in there last night and I came upon this." She presents the bag from the store Santana took me to last night. "And because I'm really curious I went ahead and opened it..." My eyes widen upon the realization and I rush the grab the bag from her hands but she just snickers and dodges from me.

"Rachel," I say.

"Quinn." She teases me and then comes to where I'm now standing, hands hiding my face in embarrassment, and moves them away. "I actually think it's a very hot idea." She whispers. I feel my entire body warm up all at once.

"Really?"

"Really." She bites her lip and for the first time, turns away, cheeks getting red.

I lick my lips at the thought and then take the bag from her hands. She looks at our hands, which touch briefly, and then at my eyes. We keep eye contact while I open the box inside the bag. "You're sure?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah." She says almost instantly and then, "just thinking about you entering me with it is making me really wet."

I wake up again with Rachel snuggled up to me and whispering in my ear, "Wake up, beautiful."

"What time is it?" I groggily ask.

"It's almost 10:30 and we have to get ready to go." I stretch and then remember Rachel's face as I fucked her with the strap-on. I smile lazily and she smiles back at me, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I so know what you're thinking about. Go on - go shower."

I laugh and make an effort to get up out of bed. I walk across her room to the bathroom and start to shower. I can hear her humming and singing on the other side of the wall and it makes me smile. I also wonder how she's in such a good mood after last night.

I get out, and she's already gone, so I put on some shorts and the t-shirt she got me for Valentine's day. My hair is still wet so I go back to the bathroom and start blow drying it and then pull it up into a ponytail.

I go downstairs looking for her but she's nowhere to be seen. I don't know if she's already gone or if she's with her dads by now. I just wait. I sit on their couch and wait, with my phone in my hands.

I'm starting to get impatient when it rings. It's Rachel.

"Hello?" I ask and I'm pissed and she can tell.

"Hey! I had something come up while you were in the shower. I'm coming back right now to pick you up, okay?"

She acts like she didn't notice my mood anyway. "Yeah, okay."

"I'm around the corner - I promise!"

I hang up and move outside to wait there. She breaks the car and franctically runs up to me. "Sorry! I know you're upset but it was important!"

"You could've told me where you were going. Or at least that you were going somewhere so I didn't worry."

"I know. It's my fault." She grabs both my hands and looks at my lips, "I'm really sorry." Then her gaze - completely amorous - lifts up to my eyes and she kisses me staring at me. I stay still.

When she pulls away, I almost choose to let it go but I can't help but ask the next question that comes out, "Did you go see Finn?"

"What?" She narrows her eyes.

"Never mind." I mutter and pull away. I make my way to the car and get in the passenger's seat. She stands there for another ten seconds, looking at the ground, with her hands balled up in fists. Then she shakes her head and gets behind the wheel and drives us to Santana's.

Thankfully the drive is short and we don't have any time to get even more into this. She parks behind another car already on the Lopez' driveway and gets out. She doesn't open the door for me, but she waits, silently. Before we go inside I try to talk to her, "Rach, I'm sorry. That was so dumb -"

But she simply cuts me off with a "not now," and we go inside. We're greeted by whom I assume is Santana's mother, Mrs. Lopez. She urges us in and tells us all about how much fun we're going to have today. She says Artie has arrived and is with Santana in the backyard. We make our way there, and surely enough, the two are there, sitting by the pool. It's still too cold to go swimming but according to Mr. Lopez we can go in later in the afternoon after the sun has warmed up the water.

Rachel's dads are already here, as well. Leroy is in the kitchen helping Mrs. Lopez and another lady, and Hiram is talking to Mr. Lopez about what I assume is some business but I don't pry.

Santana comes up to us and asks, "what's up both of your asses?"

Artie comes closer and I can tell her heard the question because he's quiet so I assume he also wants to know.

"Nothing," Rachel replies and moves away from us to go get something to drink. Before she leaves, she throws Artie a look.

I'm suspicious but ignore it, "I might've mentioned Finn this morning again."

Artie sucks in breath through his teeth and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "not good, Quinn."

"What?" I ask, "she disappeared and I wanted to know where she went!"

He just chuckles humorlessly and then points to Mr. Lopez with the burgers, "I want some of that!" And he leaves me with Santana.

I'm confused and out of my element. Santana and I end up talking a little bit. She tells me about what Britt's been doing over break. With the whole Finnept drama I've been horrible at keeping in touch with her, but these two skype and call each other every day. Britt is in California, visiting an aunt and cousin. She loves L.A. a lot and she's mentioned it wanting to move there to me before.

Rachel comes back after a little while and Santana excuses herself. "I'm sorry." She says.

"No, I'm sorry for being a jackass."

"No, Quinn. Listen - I'm sorry for meeting Finn even though you didn't want me to. I went for a few of reasons. One," she puts up one index finger, "he said he needed a friend. Two," another finger, "I wanted to make sure that my life was actually awesome without him; that I was doing fine - if not better than him." I nod and she puts up a third finger, "and three, I had to tell him in person that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Which in retrospective, not so good for his whole 'friends' problem, but I knew that having him in my life bothered you so I just had to go. And I'm sorry for not telling you these things before. I did not go see him this morning though. In fact, I was with Artie and he can attest to that."

I look at him and he's smiling from where he's sitting under a shade. I raise my hand up at him and thank him silently. He simply rolls away and finds one of Santana's cousins to mingle with.

"Thank you for apologizing. And I'm sorry for doubting you."

She smiles and makes me sit on a chair, and sits on my lap. "I was preparing a surprise for you." She throws her arms around my neck and whispers in my ear, "but you'll have to wait for later."

I'm about to protest when a man I recognize comes in. He's in bright blue shorts and a black shirt. He comes in with a pack of beer and yelling, "The Guerras arrived!" Practically everyone turns to face the man and crowds him, his wife, and son. Santana is the first one to jump in his arms. Then Rachel gets up and pulls me toward him.

"Mr. Guerra!" She says as they hug, "Hi! Welcome!"

"Hey, Rachel. Hey, Quinn." He hugs me and then directs my attention to his wife and son. "This is Mrs. Guerra - or Rosa to most people - and this is my son, Pablo."

I shake hands with both of them. Rachel hugs Pablo and Mrs. Guerra. Then she takes Pablo away from them and we all gather around a small table with some chips.

"Pablo! I haven't seen you in forever." She says.

"I know! How's New York been? Dad told me about... Quinn." He wiggles his eyebrows and looks at me. I say "hey," and Santana hits him hard.

"Pablo! You know I hate it when you're like that when talking about girls." She complains and grabs a chip.

"Ouch. I'm just kidding. But, please. Tell me all about New York."

It's already nighttime. The barbecue has been going on all day. People have splashed in the pool for most of the afternoon and the burgers, hot dogs, and steaks were delicious. Artie's mom sent some homemade lemonade and tea and Mr. Guerra supplied most of the drinks. They wouldn't let any of the teenagers have any more than one wine cooler but it was fun anyway.

Now people are just hanging out, talking to each other as the music faintly plays on the radio and the stars shine above.

Rachel stands up from my lap and whispers in Artie's ear. He nods and asks Pablo if he can get his guitar which is inside the house. Pablo comes back with the guitar and gives it to Artie. Rachel's been watching them and I've been watching her. While Artie tunes his guitar, Rachel clears her throat and everyone gives her their attention. Santana turns off the radio and sits back down next to me. I raise an eyebrow at her and she ignores me.

"So, as most of you know by now, that blonde girl sitting next to San is my girlfriend, Quinn. If you couldn't tell by the shirt she's wearing, you have some serious issues." The crowd erupts in laughter and I look at the shirt I'm wearing even though I know. "And on our first date I told her her eyes remind me of the stars." She points up and everyone looks at the sky, smiles forming on their faces. My eyes are widening and they're getting teary. She laughs and keeps talking, looking right at me, "She's perfect in every single way. Even when she's angry at me, I can't help but think about how she's such a blessing. And, lately," she looks down, "we have been arguing . I mean, just this morning she got upset at me because I 'disappeared'. Well, baby, now you know... I was working on this with Artie. But!" She looks up and her eyes are shining, "It doesn't matter; you're the only person I have ever cared enough to argue the way we do." Everyone chuckles. "And I know this is sort of new, but..." she exhales a breath and nods at Artie, "One day I told you I'd serenade you all night long because of my beautiful voice." Laughter resonates through the air again and I bashfully look down, "I can't do it tonight, just because nobody here could stand it for an entire night, but I will sing you one song. And this song is just for you." She takes a breath and begins, "Just like a star across my sky..."

"Just like an angel off the page,  
You have appeared to my life,  
Feel like I'll never be the same,  
Just like a song in my heart,  
Just like oil on my hands,  
Honour to love you

Still I wonder why it is,  
I don't argue like this,  
With anyone but you,  
We do it all the time,  
Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look I can't describe,  
You make me feel like I'm alive,  
When everything else is au fait,  
Without a doubt you're on my side,  
Heaven has been away too long,  
Can't find the words to write this song,  
Oh...  
Your love

Still I wonder why it is,  
I don't argue like this,  
With anyone but you,  
We do it all the time,  
Blowing out my mind"

Before she finishes the last note I'm up on my feet and rushing to her. Everyone is applauding and I'm pretty sure Leroy is whistling. Somehow, by the time I reach her, I've forgotten there are people around and plant a kiss on her lips. She automatically responds, gripping my waist and threading her fingers through my hair. She whispers, "Did you like the surprise?" I barely nod, catching my breath. "Good. If you don't mind, I had Santana record it so we can send it to your mom. Just because I know she'd appreciate that." She winks and I laugh, still in her arms. Then Artie starts playing a more upbeat song and Pablo somehow finds a cajon and everyone starts to dance. I make sure to dance in her arms the rest of the night.


	17. The One You Say Goodnight To (Kina Grannis)

It's not nerves, really. I don't get nervous before performances. Or at least I never have. It's just the fact that Quinn is in the audience and she makes me... well, for lack of a better word: nervous. But not the bad kind. The good kind. Excitement.

Everyone's in a good mood by now. Most of the adults are well on their way to Drunkville, and above the sound of the radio are layers of talking and more layers of laughter. It's dark, most people are gathered near the leftover food on top of a white, plastic table behind us. I'm on Quinn's lap. Artie, Pablo, and Santana are sitting in front of us, in chairs matching the table. The stars on the sky seem like a blanket atop of our heads. I look up and decide this is the perfect moment to do what I intend to do.

I think of the day I first took Quinn out on a date and how I realized her eyes are like the stars. This is why I'm so nervous, in a giddy way. Because singing to her, looking into those eyes, it's like singing to the stars. And even though the universe is so vast - and there are so many stars I could be singing to, - she's the only one that matters; hers are the only ears I care to listen to the words of this song. Metaphors are important, and I love gold stars because they are a metaphor for my impending stardom. But after meeting her, stars became a metaphor for more than that. The gold star was and is a metaphor of something I long to achieve. Stars are a metaphor for everything I hold dear that I never want to let go of. I feel a little bit selfish because she, too, is vast like the universe, but I want her all to myself.

I snap away from my thoughts and stand up, instantly missing her warmth. I whisper to Artie, "it's time." He nods in a way that means he's been waiting for me and asks Pablo if he could get his guitar, please.

Serenading is my thing. I'm an expert at it. It's second nature by now, like breathing. I basically serenaded all of my past boyfriends and I'm sure I've sang for a couple of friends as well. For some reason, serenading Quinn is different. It feels different. Technically, everything will be the same. But it's so much more than that because sheis so much more than that.

Pable comes back and Artie tunes his guitar and I fixate on it, finding something to worry about other than Quinn. I mean, it's not like she's never heard me sing, right? Right.

When he's tuning the fourth string down, I clear my throat and garner everyone else's attention. Santana knows so she gets up and turns off the radio, and then it's silent because people are actually paying attention to me. I see Quinn raise an eyebrow, asking me what's going on, but I ignore it because I have to get the next words out. I use my public speaking skills and focus my nervous energy into a speech that'll ease me to sing this song for her.

I ramble on, and every so often people laugh right on cue but I keep speaking, searching for the strength from Quinn herself. It's such a weird antidote. She's my problem and my solution. "So, as most of you know by now, that blonde girl sitting next to San is my girlfriend, Quinn. If you couldn't tell by the shirt she's wearing, you have some serious issues. And, on our first date I told her her eyes remind me of the stars. She's perfect in every single way. Even when she's angry at me, I can't help but think about how she's such a blessing. And, lately, we have been arguing . I mean, just this morning she got upset at me because I 'disappeared'. Well, baby, now you know... I was working on this with Artie. But! It doesn't matter; you're the only person I have ever cared enough to argue the way we do. And I know this is sort of new, but..." I finally take a breather and nod at Artie to let him know I'm about to start. "One day I told you I'd serenade you all night long because of my beautiful voice. I can't do it tonight, just because nobody here could stand it for an entire night, but I will sing you one song. And this song is just for you."

Just like a star across my sky..."

Just like an angel off the page,  
You have appeared to my life,  
Feel like I'll never be the same,  
Just like a song in my heart,  
Just like oil on my hands,  
Honour to love you

Still I wonder why it is,  
I don't argue like this,  
With anyone but you,  
We do it all the time,  
Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look I can't describe,  
You make me feel like I'm alive,  
When everything else is au fait,  
Without a doubt you're on my side,  
Heaven has been away too long,  
Can't find the words to write this song,  
Oh...  
Your love

Still I wonder why it is,  
I don't argue like this,  
With anyone but you,  
We do it all the time,  
Blowing out my mind

I finish the song but Quinn's already on her feet, running toward me. I think I register applause, and if applause mattered before the moment I catch her in my arms and she kisses me, it doesn't anymore. "Did you like the surprise?" I ask her and she nods while panting for air. "Good. If you don't mind, I had Santana record it so we can send it to your mom. Just because I know she'd appreciate that." I wink, finally relaxed enough now that she's right here. She laughs and it makes me wonder if there's a sound better than that. There isn't. Artie starts playing a more upbeat song. Sounds like I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You by the Black Kids and I see Santana grab Pablo and they start to dance. The adults follow their lead. Since Quinn and I are already right here, we stay. "I love that shirt on you." I tell her.

"You tell me that every time I wear it." She says, amused.

I laugh, "I sort of can't help it that it makes me feel awesome to know that you're mine."

"Yours, huh?"

"All mine."

"You, too." She says. "You're all mine, too." I smile.

"Oh! Look at you two!" Mrs. Fabray yells at us from the door of her American dream house, with the white picket fence and everything. Quinn raises an eyebrow behind her Raybans and I smile, shutting the door to our rental and walking up to her.

"Hi, Mrs. Fabray." I hug her and go ahead and kiss her on the cheek.

She laughs and slaps me on the shoulder slightly, "nonsense, Rachel. It's about time you start calling me Judy! Oh! I got that video and, Rachel, my goodness. You were flawless!" She gushes all over me. I look at Quinn with a smug look and she rolls her eyes at the scene.

"Mother, please stop." She whines and steps in to hug her. "Hello."

"What am I doing this time, honey?" She asks as she pushes me into their house. It's the first time I visit but from the way Judy is acting, it would seem like I've been here a million times before. Before Quinn has time to answer, she says, "Your father is at work but I'm so glad you decided to stop by anyway. I'm making you guys lunch!" She turns around and goes tend to some beeping noise from the kitchen. It faintly smells like apple pie.

Quinn and I left Lima a couple of hours ago to drive back to New York. We should be there by tomorrow evening. If we take longer, or decide to sleep on the road tomorrow night, we'll get there Sunday morning at the latest. We stopped by Columbus like she promised, and she said she'll show me her neighborhood, her high school, and church. I'm excited about eating lunch with Judy, to be honest. I like the woman, and it seems to me like she likes me, too.

"She so has a crush on you. And it's so not cute." Quinn says, as if a little irritated by the thought and takes off her sunglasses.

I laugh, peek into the kitchen, and when I have confirmation Judy isn't looking, I grab Quinn by the waist and pull her flush to me. "It is a good thing your mom likes me, remember?" Then I lean in and kiss her neck where it meets her shoulders. I'm so glad it's warm enough for her to only be wearing this navy tank.

She squirms and glances at the kitchen's doorway but I know she can't see in there from where she stands. "Baby. It'd be so damn awkward if my mom caught us doing this."

I hum and purse my lips. "You're right. You should give me a tour. It'd be even better if it ended in your bedroom."

So we do end up in her bedroom, but I'm (sadly) not on top of her. Instead, she's sitting on her computer desk - void of a computer - flipping through a magazine, while I take my time to look at all the little things she has spread around the room. This kind of resembles that time she came over my room back at school the first time. I'm in awe at how many pictures she has with people I've never seen or heard of before in all the time I know her. I do come across a few pictures of her and Britt, and sometimes Mike is in them, too, but that's about it.

She doesn't seem bothered by this fact when I mention it to her. "It's just how life is." She says with a shrug. "I mean, we keep in touch via Facebook sometimes."

I guess she's right. Eventually I move on to a bookcase to the left of her bed, close enough for her to stretch her arm and reach any book she'd want. I feel like she probably did this often. I read through the titles and damn, she has books that even I haven't read. Among the titles, I recognize many classics: Atlas Shrugged, Animal Farm, Anna Karenina, The Odyssey and The Iliad by Homer, Little Women, all of Jane Austen's novels, Wuthering Heights, Oliver Twist, The Count of Monte Cristo, A Tale of Two Cities, Great Expectations, Les Miserables, Oedipus Rex, The Man in the Iron Mask, The Heart of Darkness, The Scarlet Letter, Of Mice and Man, The Importance of Being Earnest, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Alice in Wonderland, many of William Shakespeare's works, and many other plays, as well.

"You're an avid reader." I point out, because these books don't look new and shiny. They look used, and torn, and like they've been opened over and over again. How is it that you had time to read all of these with your cheerleading schedule?"

"I used to find time here and there. Usually in class, after I was done with an assignment earlier than most; during breaks between classes, right before practice, or even before going to bed - even if I was super exhausted."

I knew she liked to read. That I did know, but seeing these books like this, instead of the ones in her dorm, which look new - there's a difference. "Why didn't you take these with you?"

"Oh God - have you seen how many I have? I wish I could've but you know... I took three of my favorites: Hamlet, Frankenstein, and Around the World in 80 Days."

"Have I ever told you," I start to ask as I leave the bookcase to approach her, "how sexy I find it that you love to read so much?" I situate myself between her legs and look up into her shining hazel eyes.

She tilts her head, "Yes, yes, you have." She threads her right fingers through my hair and then brings it back to play with my ear. Then she tugs on it, softly, and I take the hint. I slowly move forward, eyes locked with hers, and I bite my lip in anticipation -

"Girls!" A gasp. "Oh! I'm so sorry! Sorry. You guys -" awkward cough, "you guys go back to whatever it is you were... doing?"

I pull away and walk as far from Quinn as I can. I can feel myself getting red, the warmth rushing through my face. I glance at Quinn and she's staring at her mother, both of their mouths agape. She then gets off her desk - her feet thud when they hit the carpeted floor - and walks over to her mom, "Mom. What the hell. Ever heard of knocking?"

"Sorry!" Judy apologizes again. "I had no idea - I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You didn't interrupt anything!" I'm quick to say. Quinn throws me a glare and I shrug at her and then nod for her to look at her mother. Judy's eyes are downcast, completely avoiding looking in the room. "Really, Judy."

Quinn seems to soften her stance and then exhales, "I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to get mad. We had only been talking, really, and - I mean, it was only going to be one kiss - nothing more."

Judy's eyes make their way up to meet her daughter's with caution. "I - it - you don't have to apologize, honey. You're right. I should've knocked. I just came up here to let you know lunch's ready!" Suddenly, a very polite appears on her face and she smiles at me, "Rach, I hope you like lasagna."

"I love it. Thank you."

She turns and leaves, pearls clashing against each other and the heels clacking on the wood of the staircase.

"Oh. My. God." Quinn says, with her hands on her face. "That was so embarrassing."

I chuckle quietly, because, hell yeah, it was. I go to the door, make sure Judy's busy in the kitchen again and step to where Quinn is supporting herself on the wall. "Yeah, it was a little bit." I remove her hands from her face. "I still want that kiss though."

Basically the bite of lasagna I have in my mouth is like heaven. "This is the best lasagna I've ever had, Judy." I tell her. "It's probably better than my father's, but, please, don't ever tell him I said that." I admit.

"Which one?" Quinn asks from across the table with a glint of playfulness in her eyes. She's chewing on some spinach and playing footsie with me under the table.

"Leroy, obviously." I say.

I don't know to which extent Judy knows of my fathers but if it bothers her, she doesn't seem to show. "Thank you, Rachel. I'm glad you like it."

"What did you use in this sauce?" I ask. Quinn rolls her eyes at my attempt to make small talk with her mother.

Judy replies, "it's the oregano. It makes all the difference."

"So, mom." Quinn says, "You remember how I told you Rachel is going to start working on an off-Broadway, soon-to-be-Broadway, production?"

Judy's fork escapes her hand and it clashes with the porcelain plate as she claps her hands together once, "That's right! Tell me all about that!"

Quinn's tour of her hometown to me is basically driving in front of her old schools, in front of her church, and a job she worked one summer long ago. It was brief. She didn't seem too attached to it, or at least not as much as I am to mine.

We're halfway on our trip back to New York. It's a little past nine and we're just now getting to Pittsburgh because we spent some time with Judy. It's peaceful in the car. It's not quiet because of anxious tension like when we were driving to Lima. I venture a look at Quinn, her forehead resting on the window. The lights of the city break through the darkness of night and her face is a silhouette against the window.

She turns her head and catches me staring, "Hey." She smiles softly and reaches for my right hand. I let her take it. She looks at it and then sets it on her lap, and goes back to looking out the window

"So, are you attending the LGBT's Coffee House event this next weekend?" She asks, when we're changing.

I think about it. I mean, it's not like we ever go to those events. Kurt has been attending the LGBT club meetings but he hasn't been shoving their events down our throats. "What is it?" I ask as I put my hair up in a bun. I cross the hotel's room over to where she's sitting on the bed and sit in front of her.

"It's various artists singing songs. There's no theme. You actually don't have to be LGB or T," she laughs at herself, "but you must dedicate a song to someone. I think you should do it."

I laugh freely and turn and let my head fall on her lap. "You just want an excuse for me to serenade you in front of our entire school now..." I groan, pretending to be turned off by the idea.

"It's not!" She shrieks. "I just thought it'd be something you'd be interested in."

"This is so random, though. Where did you even -?"

"Santana." She says and starts to run her fingers through my head, massaging my scalp.

I almost choke on air but instead I clear my throat, "San...tana?"

"Yeah." She chuckles and then lays on her back and tugs on my arm. I take the hint and crawl up the bed, hovering over her.

I grin. She raises an eyebrow. "You and Santana together... hm, I'm not sure that's such a good idea." Her eyes dance all over my face and I love the look she has on her face when she does that. I lean forward and chastely kiss her then drop myself to snuggle close to her. She reaches to the lamp on the bedside table and turns off the light. Her fingers find my hair again.

"She brought it up at the barbecue. Said Britt mentioned it in passing over the phone and that Kurt had told Britt. She kind of wants to surprise Britt. I told her it was a brilliant idea. But I think you should sing to her."

I consider what she's saying for a few seconds. "Wow, that is a great idea. I'm sure she'll pretend to be embarrassed but..." a smile starts to form on my face. "You know what, baby? You're brilliant." I kiss her neck and then take a good lick, slow and nice up her throat, and kiss the tip of her chin. "And you taste delicious."

She chuckles, "Thanks. For both compliments." Her head rolls to the side and our eyes meet in the dark. "I... really love you, you know that, right?"

I nod, "yes, I do." I kiss her lips and we close our eyes before I let my head fall back down and rest on her shoulder, "and I really love you, too."

"Good night, Rach." She says.

I smile and exhale, "Night, baby."

The rest of the trip back goes by pretty fast. We decided to not stop as much simply because we wanted to get plenty of rest on Sunday before classes started on Monday. We did just that. Quinn spent the Sunday in my dorm room, since Santana wasn't back yet. She decided to fly back just so she could come back at a later time and not have to leave on Friday with us.

We mostly laid in bed with Quinn reading a book and I looking over my lines for the play. The play is set to premiere in a month and I am more than ready for it but it doesn't mean I shouldn't be constantly preparing; there's always room for improvement. Then we ordered some food and caught up on some last-minute homework that we should've done over the break and didn't. We ended the night with The Phantom of the Opera.

It's Monday, and as much as I am excited to be back to New York, being back to school doesn't excite me nearly as much. Santana got in this morning, in a grumpy mood and went to bed as I was leaving for my first class. I should've skipped, too, but instead I'm in my first class of the day not paying attention to the lecture nearly as much as I should. I've been thinking of what Quinn said about singing at the LGBT Coffee House thing and I can't figure out a song to sing... yet, anyway.

I stare at the clock on the way until it's time to leave and I don't even wait for the professor to excuse the class, I simply walk out. I throw the bag over my shoulders and make my way across the campus, to a Starbucks on the corner, and get myself a coffee. I go ahead and get Quinn her favorite - the Caramel Machiatto - and text her to find out where she is because I need help - I would never admit this to Santana or Kurt - to find a song to sing to Santana.

The reply comes back quickly with one word.

Quinn Fabray: Library.

I smirk, remembering the last time we found ourselves together at the library. I rush to meet her and when I get there she's going over some notes with the black-rimmed glasses that make her look really intelligent and sexy. I smile when she looks up and set the coffee down, "Hey there, gorgeous. You come here often?"

She laughs quietly and picks up the coffee to take a sip. She motions for the chair in front of her and I sit. "Well, last time I was here, I had a really hot hook up session with this girl I know." She leans forward and pecks me on the lips. "She reminds me a lot of you. Thank you for this, by the way. Seems like you're always bringing me coffee when I'm here."

"You're welcome." I rest my back on the chair and cross my arms, "as for that hook up," I suck some air through my teeth - remembering - and irk an eyebrow, "sounds really hot. Especially because she reminded you of me."

She looks at me with lustful eyes which have darkened impossibly over the last minute, "I could be done here." She bites her lip waiting for an answer.

"Are you sure?" I ask, but I'm already helping her pack her stuff. I take her backpack and her hand and we make our way to the elevator with hurried steps.

"Shit." I mumble. "I'm sure there was another reason why I walked all the way to the library."

She's nipping at my neck, her tongue flicking out to lick it, "does it matter?" I feel the words vibrate against the place her tongue just contacted and shiver.

I search for the words, for meaning, for syntax when her jean-clad thigh hits that special place over and over in perfect, chaotic, hot rhythm. I only manage one word, "no."

"That just... didn't feel right. Try again, Harmony. Please." I'm on the improvised balcony on stage and Harmony is next to me, frustrated and tired. She takes a deep breath and tries her line again. Will shakes his head and decides, "okay, everyone. Take five." He looks at me pointedly and I take the hint. This has been happening all week - her difficulty to get through scenes - and it's getting tiring for all of us.

"Hey, Harmony. Let's go grab a snack from the vending machines in the hallway, okay?" She barely looks up to nod.

I drag her behind me and when I pass Kurt and Blaine, they simply shake their head and then go back to paying attention to each other.

"What's wrong tonight?"

"I just can't get that damn line right." She says and focuses on the options the vending machine offers.

I think back on the way she's been acting all through rehearsal and then, "are you... are you off tonight because of... me?" She inhales some air but doesn't say anything. She stares at the chips before punching in E0 on the vending machine. The regular, bland, SunChips fall out of its place - the ones in the green package are much better - and she bends over to grab it. "Hey, did I do something?"

"No." She frowns and studies the bag in her hands. I mean, it's not like I could've done anything. We haven't spoken to each other in a long time with Spring Break. "It's just," She begins and I focus back on her. "Nah, forget it."

I place a hand on her arm when she tries to walk past me into the auditorium, "no, wait. What were you going to say?"

"Nothing, really. Come on. Five minutes is up."

She does better after the awkward exchange but doesn't say goodbye when rehearsals end.

Kurt approaches me silently and I awkwardly wave goodbye to Blaine as he side-eyes us. Kurt smiles with his lips closed and then turns at me, "So that was weird."

"I know."

"What's up with that?"

"I don't know."

He exhales and sits on the floor next to me. The auditorium is empty and it feels like home, especially for the two of us, with a shared past and passion for the stage. "Babe... you know I think you're the greatest actress to ever live..." Then he adds as an afterthought, "that I personally know." We smirk and I agree.

"Sure."

"But you do know that Harmony's infatuation with you is what got you the Spring Awakening thing?" Not this again. I glare at him and he just shrugs. "Don't deny it. You can't pretend she doesn't. Rachel - everyone can see."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I try to get up to leave but he shakes his head and pulls me back down by the wrist. It hurts when my ass hits the floor again but he doesn't seem to care.

"Listen, I know you keep insisting to Quinn that Harmony's not in love with you or whatever, but I have eyes and I'm always around you two. She likes likes you. And, even if her father really loved you, the reason you're it is because Harmony wanted you to be it. So now I think she's feeling like you don't give her enough attention, especially after you put up all of your pictures with Quinn on Facebook from your road trip to Lima. It sucks, you know? And I doubt you even thought of her once when you were there, so she's obviously upset. Which she has no reason to be because you have a girlfriend, but Rach, you have got to talk to her because damn it - our play is in less than a month and if you don't, this will explode and it will suck for you, for her, and for Quinn."

"What? What am I supposed to tell her?"

"That you're in a committed relationship and that you hope she wasn't a direct factor as to why you got the part, but that you appreciate her friendship and hopes she understands where you're coming from."

"That doesn't sound like it'll be good. In fact, it sounds like - God, I just got back from talking to Finn in Lima, Kurt."

"Yeah, I heard. He was enraged with you."

"That's his fucking problem. I didn't need his tongue shoved down my throat."

Kurt rubs at his chin absent-mindedly. My phone vibrates. I open it to check the message and realize I have three new messages.

Quinn Fabray: I absolutely love love love loooove when I know I get to hang out with you after a fucking long day. I'll see you at 11. xoxo

Santana Lopez: Do you like "Accidentally in Love" by the Counting Crows?

Harmony Willows: I apologize for my behavior tonight. Promise rehearsal tomorrow won't be as terrible.

Kurt's been talking about how Finn called and complained to him about me. I know why he did that. Because he knows Kurt would tell me. Not like I care. At all. So I let him talk about Finn and talk about how he's both a moron and naive. Meanwhile I reply to my texts.

To Quinn, it's the easiest one to reply to.

You're the reason I look forward to Thursday nights, babe.

To Santana, I have to think a little longer. I actually love that song very much, and it seems fitting with the way she and Britt started - it hadn't been planned. And it's a very nice way to admit to someone you love them - through music. Or so I believe. I smile and text her back.

Definitely - that's the one.

To Harmony, I ignore all my instincts.

I was hoping we could actually talk. How about lunch tomorrow?

Kurt seems to finally notice I haven't been paying attention. He snaps his fingers in front of my face, irritated, and gets up, patting his butt. "Ugh, self-centered bitch." I snap out of it laughing and he says, "no, seriously. You break Finn's heart and I have to deal with his constant whining and babbling about you and you can't listen to me complain about him?"

"Sorry. Dude, Harmony texted apologizing. I replied asking her to have lunch with me."

"Quinn's gonna hate that."

"You think I don't know that? But this was your idea."

"Want me to come along? You know, so Quinn doesn't kill you or Harmony? And then I'll make an excuse and leave for twenty minutes for an important phone call where you can approach the subject with her."

I instantly agree, "Yes! You'd do that?"

"Of course! I'm not as self-centered as you."

I laugh. "Whatever. Sometimes I think you're worse. By the way, you and Blaine, San and Britt, and Quinn and I will be leaving for the Coffee House promptly at 6:45 PM on Saturday, understood, Mr. Hummel? Not a second later."

"Tell that to your best friend. She's the one with a punctuality problem."

When Quinn knocks on my door, I'm in the bathroom taking a shower. I hear Santana open the door and say, "Fuckin' Fabray."

Quinn replies with a "I thought you had a date with Britt tonight? And by that I mean, vacate the room - I want alone time with my hot girlfriend."

Santana laughs and I can just picture her throwing her head back, "Nice, Q." The door slaps close, "Do not worry, please. I am going over to Britt's because she is better to me than you'll ever be." And then there is muffled talking, as if they're whispering or speaking really softly on purpose. I think it's weird but maybe it's just... Well, I have no idea what it could be.

I turn off the shower and it's like it turned a switch on because I can hear the conversation again, "That fucking professor man. That pop quiz was not necessary."

"Tell me about it. I had daydreams about murdering him with my scantron." Quinn says and Santana laughs.

I wrap my body in the towel and get out of the bathroom. They both stop talking and look at me. Santana picks up her phone from her desk and walks past me, dropping an unnecessarily long and incredibly out-of-character kiss on my cheek. Quinn laughs and I smirk and stand still. Santana finally steps away and slaps my butt before opening the door. "See you losers later."

"Bye, San." Quinn says in a disgustingly sweet voice and Santana flicks her off through the crack on the door before leaving.

"Hey." I say and the atmosphere in the room changes.

She looks at me with eyes full of love and relief from a tiring day. "Hi." She steps closer to me and places her hands on my arms, gripping it tight. "I missed you." I forget I have a towel around my body until she sticks a finger in my towel and pulls it apart, falling by our feet. "I just really like your body." She says even though I didn't ask. She kisses me and I open my mouth, moaning when our tongues slide against each other.

She backs away slowly and makes her way to my desk, where she props herself up on and watches me as I brush my hair and finish my nightly ritual, naked.

"The pop quiz was bad, huh?" I ask.

"It was." She says and tilts her head when I catch her staring at my ass through the mirror. She licks her lips and raises an eyebrow at me.

"And the paper you had to get done for that other class?" I keep talking to see how long it'll take before she caves. This just became a silent competition even if she's not aware.

"Um, yeah, that was okay. I think."

"Right, and the assignment foryour Anthropology class?"

She takes longer to answer this question. I witness her shake her head and look up and to the left to think. "Which one? Oh, yeah. Easy."

"Good." I say and smile. I'm taking longer to finish my nightly ritual tonight just because I feel like teasing her a little bit but she just sits there. Finally, I turn around and she perks up on the desk.

"Done?"

I giggle, "done."

She jumps off and makes her way to me in three steps. "About time. Who won?" She smiles against my cheek and kisses it. I feel her hand crawl up my arm and wrap around my neck, "Umm? In your little game, who won?"

I laugh, "well, technically you did because you didn't cave but... how's that a win again?"

She laughs and attacks my mouth, "I win." It's her response before picking me up and pushing me up against the door - hard.

"Fuck."

"That's what I intend to do. Fuck you."

"How much do you like me?" She asks when we're laying, basking in each other's presence in the post-sex glow.

I turn my head to her with a frown, "what?"

She simply smiles and her cheeks blush a pretty pink, "I just really like to hear you say it." She whispers it quietly to the nothing above her - almost as if it's a secret; bashful looks really good on her and I love it that I get to see it. I'm the only one who gets to witness this and it makes me giddy. My frown turns into a grin fast.

"In that case," I roll to top her, straddling her stomach, "I'll say it as many times as you want me to." I kiss her before saying, "I like you as much as a fat kid likes chocolate." She giggles underneath me. I keep going, "I like you as much as a puppy likes to rub his ass on the carpet."

She groans loudly and says, "Ew, babe. That's disgusting." She keeps giggling though.

I kiss her again, "I like you as much as a priest likes little boys." She makes a face, "no?" I ask and she stifles a laugh.

"That's so wrong."

"I like you as much as Santana likes to be a bitch."

"Hm, that's a whole lot then."

"Yes..." I nod my head, all serious-like. Until my lips split into a smile. "I like you a whole lot; I love you."

She scrunches her nose, in an adorable way, and pretends to be disgusted by the thought. I kiss her cute nose. "Gross. Love."

"Say it, back." I demand with a pout and both hands cupping her cheek. She refuses, shaking her head and smiling. "Why nooot?"

She mumbles, "don't wanna." And shrugs.

"Meanie." I tell her and drop my forehead to hers. "Still love you, though." I yawn and settle my body completely on top of hers, like a blanket and she shifts under me until she's comfortable.

She kisses the top of my head, "I love you more." I register her heartbeat slowing down and feel the rise and fall of her chest. "Good night, Berry."


	18. How Sweet It Is (James Taylor)

She comes on top of me with my name on her lips and as many times we've done this before, it still amazes me how beautiful she looks. I let her settle around my body, possessively wrapping an arm over my stomach and pulling me closer to her. "How much do you like me?" I ask just because I can.

I feel her chin dig into my shoulder as she turns her head to stare at me with a sad frown, "what?" How could you possibly ask me that? goes unsaid.

"I just really like to hear you say it," I can feel myself blush as the warmth takes over my face when I whisper it. She grins and giggles.

"In that case," she straddles my stomach and I can feel the heat, "I'll say it as many times as you want me to." Her lips find mine and she keeps talking, "I like you as much as a fat kid likes chocolate." That makes me laugh. I understand the simile because I used to be a chubby kid before middle school. I like you as much as a puppy likes to rub his ass on the carpet."

"Ew, babe. That's disgusting," I say with a groan and a disgusted face.

But she kisses me again and giggles with me, "I like you as much as a priest likes little boys." I make a face and she rhetorically asks, "no?"

"That's so wrong." I hold back from laughing too hard but it's getting harder to contain it.

"I like you as much as Santana likes to be a bitch."

Now that's something. "Hm, that's a whole lot then."

She nods her head, completely engrossed in her acting and says, "Yes..." but then she grins, breaking character and admits, "I like you a whole lot; I love you."

I pretend I don't like hearing it, even though I asked for it. She kisses my nose, "Gross. Love."

"Say it back." She demands with a really cute pout and both hands cupping my cheek. Of course I refuse, shake my head. But I'm smiling and it's getting really hard to resist that face. Her lips are asking to be kissed but I keep control. "Why nooot?" She whines.

"Don't wanna." I do. I want to so much.

"Meanie," she says and I feel the weight of her forehead on mine. She's getting tired, I can tell. And after such a long day and week we've both had, I'm surprised she's still awake. "Still love you, though." She yawns and settles on top of me. I'm instantly comfortable but I move around until I know she is too and then we both relax.

I kiss the top of her head and finally tell her what I've been wanting to, "I love you more." And I can finally go to sleep, knowing she'll be in my arms when I wake up. "Good night, Berry."

I wake up and she's still asleep. I need to use the bathroom urgently, and then I need to get ready for cheer practice but she's literally on top of me and it's kind of hard to move. I lay there thinking of a possible way to get up without waking her but there isn't. "Baby." I whisper and move her hair to start to caress her naked back. She stirs but doesn't open her eyes. "Sweetheart, wake up."

She grumbles something and rolls off of me, which is what I needed so I get up, happy she didn't actually have to wake up. I kiss her between her shoulder blades anyway, and then run to the bathroom.

When I come out of the shower, she's lying on her back with her hands behind her head and a smirk. "Morning."

"Morning," I say back and stride to her. Leaning over, I take her soft lips into mine and kiss her. She won't open her mouth but I press my lips firmly to hers until she pushes back. I pull away and say, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"I had to." She shrugs casually and gets up, grabbing her towel to shower. "Will you be here by the time I get out of the shower?"

I think about it, trying to make a mental calculation, "maybe. Don't take long. Or, shower after I leave." I wiggle my eyebrows at her suggestively and she smiles.

"Okay. Let me just brush my teeth and wash my face and we can make out all you want."

I'm pulling my cheerleading skirt on, "you don't want to?"

"Of course I do, doofus!" She spins on one heel and goes in the bathroom but leaves the door open while she brushes her teeth and washes her face.

"So, hey, I have lunch time free today, do you want to grab something to eat?"

She stops brushing and lets her toothbrush hang on her mouth. She closes her eye shut, "shit! I forgot."

"Um, forgot what?" I zip up the top and start untangling my wet hair with my fingers. She looks at me nervously and I know something not good is about to fall out of that toothpasty mouth. "Spill it, Berry." My hand drops to my waist cocked to the side.

"I might have forgotten to tell you I made lunch plans with Harmony today." She says. I look at her confused, but I'm trying really hard to give her benefit of the doubt and count to ten in my head before saying anything. "But it's just cause you came in here last night and I was so exhausted and you fucked me so good - I didn't even think about it. It was Kurt's idea!" She blurts out and eyes widen when she realizes she threw her friend under the bus.

Calmly I ask, "Kurt? Why?"

She spits and rinses her mouth. "Rehearsals were weird last night and Harmony's been off all week so Schuester had me go talk to her. That went awkwardly and I couldn't tell why. Kurt said he agrees with you -and apparently everyone else can see this too - that she likes me and expects something from me because of SA. He said I have to talk to her about it and he offered to go with so you don't worry."

Makes sense. I nod and grab the comb from the sink to start combing my hair. "Alright. Let me know how it goes. I guess I can ask Britt to lunch."

I make my way back into the room and sit on her desk, contemplating the day I get my hands on Harmony and eventually the daydream becomes about murdering Finn, too.

She comes out and looks at me with wide beautiful brown eyes. "So you're... Okay with this?"

"I'm working on it," I tell her honestly.

She beams and walks to me, throwing her arms around my waist, "you're amazing. And I love you."

"Same here." I smile and kiss her mouth, licking the bottom lip and accepting her invitation. She moans and gets up on the desk with me. She straddles me and I hit my head on the cabinet on top of us. "Ouch."

She alarms, "sorry!"

I laugh and make her sit still. My hands are pinning her down by the waist. "You're really sexy."

Rachel blushes and bites her lip. She's such a confident girl but every so often I'll say something that has her looking away with a blush on her cheeks and it always makes me swoon even more.

I take the bruised lip from her biting and suck on it to soothe it for her. She groans appreciatively and grabs my neck possessively to hold me in place.

Practice can wait. This is so worth being late, no matter the consequence.

Coach Sylvester berates me for a good half an hour and then she makes me run laps around the gym for another hour. I'm exhausted when I go back to my room - I skip all my classes this morning. Mary looks at me from her desk and says, "shit, you look like you've been run over by a taxi."

I laugh despite the fact that it hurts, "I had to pay the consequences for being late for practice because I chose to stay at Rachel's a little longer this morning."

Mary laughs, "I'm glad you still have your priorities straight, you know? Sex over responsibilities."

"A woman after my own heart," I joke and we high five.

"Wait, what are you doing here then? Shouldn't you go back to Rachel and ask her to take 'care' of your injuries?" We laugh and she keeps talking, "I mean, if you're expecting me to do that for you, I'm flattered but I wouldn't help you cheat on Rach."

"First of, you wish." I stick my tongue out at her playfully and then say, "Second, I wish I were with her," I admit, "but she's out with Harmony and Kurt for lunch."

"She's back being a problem?"

"I think Rachel's making sure she doesn't become one."

Just then my phone rings. It's Kurt and I look at Mary questioningly but she just shrugs and looks back at her computer. "Hello?" I pick up.

"Hey, Quinn. I'm with Rachel right now at the restaurant and I figured you'd be dying to know what's happening so far..." He barely gives me time to respond and I only manage to nod, which is useless. "I excused myself to 'make a phone call' which turned out to be a real call to you. And I'm really good at lip reading, so if you're interested I could let you know what they're saying."

Oh. Oh. "Yeah! I mean, no. I can't! That's wrong. It's wrong right?" I ask the last question to Mary and she doesn't know what Kurt and I are talking about but she nods, agreeing with me.

"Harmony seems pretty sad. Rachel is reaching out for her hand," I scoff, "but she's like, 'you're a great friend and I don't want to ruin that.' Harmony is nodding and she placed her hand on top of Rachel's and she's saying... uh, wait. No, never mind." Then he stops talking suddenly and I'm completely lost. "Maybe I should go."

"Whoa! Wait. Kurt! What is she saying?"

He breathes loudly and then says, "you really don't want to know."

"Just tell me."

"She said, 'I want to be your friend, Rach. But I'll be here and I'll wait for you for when you and Quinn are done.'"

"That bitch said what?" I yell into my phone and Mary actually flinches. I hear Kurt gasp.

"Quinn."

"Actually, no! Tell me what Rachel said when Harmony told her that!"

"I don't actually know -"

"Kurt! Tell me. Now."

"Quinn, I really don't know, okay? I wasn't paying attention because I was trying to convince you you didn't need to know what Harmony had said..."

I finally give up, "Yeah, okay. Hey, Kurt. I'm gonna go now, okay?"

"Okay." He says and hungs up.

I shakily release a breath and look at Mary. "Want to go punch some bags?"

"Yeah, sure. I've never done boxing before but maybe you could point things out to me."

"Sweet." I say already moving to grab my workout clothes.

After my phone rings for the fifth time in a row, Mary simply throws it at me. I roll my eyes and pick up, "Yeah?"

"Quinn, are you ignoring my phone calls?"

"No. No, I'm just - I was working out with Mary."

"Mary? O-kay. Well, are you alright?"

"Yeah. Nothing's wrong."

She sighs, "Kurt called you." I don't deny it or confirm it, "Damn him. What did he tell you?" I stay quiet. "Fine. If you don't want to talk, I'll leave you alone. I'm going to the library finish an essay due at 5pm and then I have rehearsals."

She hangs up before I have the opportunity to argue it.

I make my way to the room where the LGBT club is having the Coffee House event tomorrow afternoon and settle behind the piano they set up on the makeshift stage. There aren't a lot of people around yet, but I know people will be coming in soon to finish decorating. I just keep playing the keys mindlessly reminding myself how much I used to enjoy piano lessons. I think about it and realize that when I play tomorrow, it'll be the first time Rachel has ever heard of me playing the piano.

I'm completely enthralled in some song I started playing that I don't hear the door behind me closing. It's only when I feel someone's feet shuffling behind me that I stop playing and turn around startled.

"Oh my god!" I yell.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to scare you, you were just so good I didn't want to interrupt you." She smiles and it's such a blindingl smile. She's a beautiful cocoa color, with dark hair - a short afro - but light eyes. I can't help but smile back.

"That's okay. I was - I don't know what I was really playing."

"It sounded great anyway. Are you playing tomorrow?" She asks and sits next to me. She has a slender neck and smells really good.

"I -yes. I am."

"You're Quinn Fabray, aren't you? Head cheerleader?"

I laugh quietly, "That would be me."

"You're dating Rachel Berry, the star."

"You seem to know who everyone is."

"Just the important people. I'm Erica, by the way." She extends her hand at me and I shake it.

I eye her suspiciously, "Do I know you, though?"

"I don't think so. I'm the LGBT club's secretary."

I agree, "yeah, probably. Sorry."

"Oh no, don't worry!" She laughs. "You're a lot more chill than I've ever thought you'd be."

"Uh, yeah. I get that a lot." I admit, shyly. "People usually expect me to be a whole lot bitchier."

"Maybe if you untightened your ponytail when you're cheerleading." She says and waits for my reaction. When I laugh she lets herself laugh too. "I'm really looking forward to listening to you sing tomorrow. Like, never thought you'd be into that."

"I love the arts, I've just spent so much time on cheerleading. But you know, Rachel's super into it and I think she'll like it when I surprise her."

"That's really great of you actually. I'm sure she'll love it." She says and pats my hand, still on the piano before getting up. "I should go. I have a meeting in the adjacent room about tomorrow and people should be arriving soon."

"Yeah. It was very nice to meet you, Erica."

"Nice to meet you, Quinn." She flahses a smile and leaves.

After practicing for hours, I call Rachel. "I'm sorry, babe. Please, call me back or come straight to my room after rehearsals. I - Okay, I hope rehearsals go well and tell Kurt and Blaine I said 'hello.' Love you, principessa." I leave a message but I'm sure she's not ignoring my call; she's in rehearsal. Or so I hope that's the reason.

My knee is bouncing, out of nervousness, and then the phone rings and relief comes. "I'll be there in ten, okay?" She says and her voice is so tired and dejected.

"Okay. Want me to grab you something to eat?"

"Please."

"I'll see you then."

I dial the number of a nearby Thai place and get us her favorite. I won't be eating much, though.

She gets here and knocks on the door. I open it eagerly and she comes into my arms without saying anything. I hold her there until she decides to let go and drop her bag on the floor.

"I'm so tired."

"I can tell. Here," I hand her a towel that I had taken out of the closet for her, "go shower while the food's getting here and relax."

She pecks my lips, "You're the best."

I sit down on my desk and start reading an Edgar Allan Poe book from Mary's side. I enjoy his writing so it's really easy for me to get engrossed in it. It takes the delivery person a while knocking for me to realize it. I jump off and shout, "Coming!" I run to the door and open it, "Hey. Thank you! Sorry for the wait." I say and grab the back from him. He grumbles, fixes his hat on his head, and takes the money. "Alrighty, then." I comment to myself.

When Rachel comes out of the shower, she puts on black sweatpants and a yellow tank. She sits on the floor and eats half of the pad Thai. I watch her eat and wait until she brings up the Harmony lunch thing. She speaks in between mouthfuls, "You can ask, you know?"

"Ask what?"

"About the lunch. Don't play dumb. You're too smart for that."

Ouch. "Okay, that's fair, I guess. I won't ask. I want you to tell me only if you want to."

"Now you're saying that but when Kurt offered to tell you -"

"He basically shoved it down my throat, but you're right, I could've stopped him. Now I'm going to wait for you."

She sighs, looks at me, and dives into the pad Thai again. "Kurt told you that she said she'll wait for me until you and I are through, right?"

I nod my head, sadly. "Yeah, he did and -"

"But I don't want you to be threatened by that at all. I told her that that wasn't an option."

"Just like that?" My mouth hangs open in disbelief.

"Baby, no. I'm not stupid. I just told her that if that were the case, she'd wait for a long time and that it'd be better for her if she didn't." I laugh but it's reserved, not to upset my lady, laying on her back on the floor and a hand rubbing her tummy. "I ate so much."

"You were hungry."

"Starving."

"Want to watch a movie?"

"Long as I cuddle up with you."

"Then it's a deal, baby."

"Hurry the fuck up, Santana."

"It's like this is deja-vu," I hear Blaine tell Kurt. Kurt nods solemly.

Britt is stretching a leg on the window-sill and looking out into the city. "I think we were supposed to have left ten minutes ago."

"I know that!" Rachel shoots at the bathroom door. "Which means we're late, Santana! Come on!"

I laugh and look at Kurt, who's annoyed. "Why don't Blaine and I go ahead and save us all spots?" He offers with a smile.

Rachel considers this and then says, "yeah, okay. You're right. You guys go. You should go, too, Britt."

"Uh, why?" She turns around but her leg is still up on the window.

"Because..." Rachel struggles to think of an excuse but I get what she's doing.

"So you can save Santana a spot because Kurt will be saving Rach's and Blaine will be saving mine... so..."

"You're so right!" She says and within the minute the three are gone.

I look at Rachel disapprovingly when she smirks at me. "Ugh, you're evil."

"What? I didn't force you into doing it." She argues and shrugs.

Finally, Santana comes out of the bathroom and looks around. "Where the fuck is everyone, Berry?"

"Well," Rach crosses her arms, "you were taking forever, so they had to go and save us spots."

"But you stayed." Santana narrows her eyes at Rachel.

"I'm a good friend." She replies casually.

"You made an excuse for Britt to go, didn't you? Just so you could punish me."

I hold back a giggle and Santana's eyes fly to me.

"Not me. Quinn did." Rachel says.

I stop laughing, "wait. What? Rachel!" I shriek when Santana growls at me. "She made me!" I say.

"I did not!" Rachel replies.

"Santana, come on." I plead.

She huffs and hurries to pull on her shoes. "Whatever, man." She leaves the room and walks ahead of us all the way to the "Coffee House."

"You're evil." I tell Rachel.

"She's a bitch. And she wouldn't do anything to you! She would've killed me right then and there!"

"Oh, I signed up for the dramatics when I said yes to dating you, huh?" I laugh.

"Comes with the package, along with funny, smart, and really reallygood in bed."

I take her hand and tangle our fingers. "Ah, yes. What a great little package in a super hot little body."

She looks up at me with a dazzling smile. "I'm really excited for tonight."

I hide the smile that threatens to take over my face, "yeah, me too."

She whispers the next part because Santana is walking in front of us but still within hearing distance, "you think she'll like it?"

"Obviously. She'd be crazy not to." I tell her honestly and she smiles back.

"Good! Her song for Britt sounds really good, too."

"I bet it does. Just won't sound as good as you." I wink and she tackles me in a hug. I give her a piggy-bag ride for about twenty feet but she keeps kicking me like a horse and laughing so I drop her and keep walking. She pouts at me and I challenge her with an eyebrow. She flicks me off, walks up to me, and grabs my hand again.

"The LGBT Club is very happy to see how many of you turned out today. I'm really glad to see the amount of supporters our community has from our students and neighbors. I'm James and I'm the president of our club." James looks about 23 and has a really pretty face with defined features. His hair is black and combed back. He waits for the applause to calm down before continuing his speech. "Tonight is not limited to LGB or T artists," he says and I look at Rachel with amused eyes because that's my joke! She giggles and shakes her head, "but to everyone who wants to dedicate a song. It doesn't have to be to a lover - it can be to a friend, to a parent, a sibling, a dead historial figure, a famous person, your dog, or you'r aunt's goldfish." The crowd laughs together and he waits until he can speak again. "We just want you guys to have fun. So, without further ado - welcome to the Coffee House and enjoy yourselves!" He bows and makes his way out of the stage.

The girl from yesterday, Erica gets up on stage with skinny jeans and a pink top, "Hello, everyone! My name is Erica and I'll be announcing the singers tonight. To kick things off we have... Blaine Anderson." Blaine would. We cheer for him to make his way to the stage and he spins when he gets up there, placing a hand on his hat to quickly fix it. "He is a Musical Theater major sophomore and he dedicates his song to his boyfriend, Kurt Hummel!" The people go wild and Blaine starts his song.

It's finally Santana's turn. She's clearly nervous but Britt's still oblivious. I silently tap her on the shoulder and she looks back at me, out of focus for a while, but then she breathes.

"You ready?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "no." And gets up just as Erica announces her name.

Britt looks shocked for about a second but then she starts clapping wildly, hooting and whistling on her feet along with Rachel. I give Santana two thumbs-up when she's finally on stage and ready to begin.

"So she said what's the problem baby, what's the problem? I don't know, well, maybe I'm in love..." Britt's mouth drops in surprise and then she's back to smiling and cheering. Sometimes she sings along and sometimes she stands still and stares. Santana's anxiousness eases when she realizes how fucking amazing she sounds.

"We're accidentally in looooooove."

"That was the lovely Bianca singing for her boyfriend Kyle!" People clap and whistle excitedly as she jumps off stage into his arms. The piano is moved to the side by two burly men in black and Erica is back on.

"Oh, this is going to be really good you guys. It's only our greatest star in the making, Rachel Berry!" She stands up and I slap her ass playfully. She winks at me. Santana looks surprised. "She's going to be singing for someone who already sang on this very stage, her best friend and roommate Santana Lopez!" Santana's eyes start to widen and she looks at me in surprise.

"What? I needed a reason to distract her away from my surprise so I got her to sing to you." I smile triumphantly and Santana's blush deepens.

Britt speaks, "I think it's so sweet." She plants a kiss on Santana's cheek and smiles at Rachel on stage. "Go, Rachel!"

Rachel - being Rachel - makes a little speech before starting. "Hey everyone. I was so excited about singing to Santana that I yelled at her for hurry the fuck up and get ready for thirty minutes before we left while our friends watched, just so we wouldn't be late."

I whoop and Blaine yells "It's true!" The coffee house laughs. Kurt flips a hair back and laughs alone.

"But even though some say our relationship is odd and unexpected... well, it was unexpected and it is odd - she is still my best friend. And I'm just glad that she let me be there for her when she needed someone. This, San, is for you. Because I hope you know that this is still true: I will always be someone to fall back on." Right then the pianist starts playing. "I love you, babe. I'll never be..."

A knight in armor  
with a sword in hand  
or a kamikaze fighter

Don't count on me  
to storm the barricades  
and take a stand  
or hold my ground

You'll never see  
any scars or wounds  
I don't walk on coals  
I won't walk on water

I am no prince  
I am no saint

I am not anyone's wildest dreams  
but I will stand behind  
and be someone to fall back on

By this time, no one in our table has dry eyes anymore.

The piano goes on for a few more measures but then drums and a soft electric guitar starts to accompany them. Britt starts clapping when the beat picks up and Rachel goes through a transformation where it looks like the energy of the room is feeding her. She sings her emotions, letting her voice carry all the meaning the song brings for Santana and her. She keeps her gaze fixed on her for most of the song but sometimes she'll work the stage and throw her hand out as if grabbing something that's not there.

Some comedy  
your bruised and beaten down  
but I'm the one  
who's looking for a favor

still, honestly  
you don't believe me  
but the things I had  
are the things you need

you look at me  
like I don't make sense  
like a waste of time  
like it serves no purpose

A cello starts to play along (and where the hell did this guy show up from?)

I am no prince  
I am no saint  
and if that's what you believe  
you need, you're wrong  
You don't need much  
you need someone to fall back on

And I'll be that  
I'll take your side  
if I'm the only one  
I'm used to that

you've been alone  
I'd rather be...

Right here, though - even though she's been focused on Santana for the majority of the time - she looks at me.

The half of us the least of you  
the best of me  
and I will be...

Her gaze goes back to a now crying Santana, but she's trying really hard to keep her face composed. Rachel's eyes are teary as well, and I'm sure they're both thinking of the way their friendship came about. And I know that Rachel means what she's singing and that Santana knows she does, too.

I'll be your prince  
I'll be your saint  
I will go crashing through fences  
in your name, I will, I swear  
I'll be someone to fall back on

I'll be, the one who waits  
and for as long as you let me  
I will be  
the one you need  
I'll be someone to fall back on

Someone to fall back on...  
one to fall back on.

The song ends with Rachel holding the note and the piano. There is silence for a second until the entire room erupts in applause and there is not a single person quiet in the entire room. Santana waits until Rachel is down and coming her way to make her way to her and pull her into a hug. The people grow wilder and Erica takes center stage.

Erica is standing under the spotlight and Santana and Rachel are hugging and Britt is crying and taking pictures on her iPhone and Kurt and Blaine are looking at the two like proud parents and I'm doing everything not to pass out. I specifically asked for the spot after Santana - because it would be the time when Rachel would least be expecting anything for her. But this was why I brought up the Coffee House event to Rachel. Because if I had her thinking she was surprising Santana and helping Santana surprise Britt, she would never realize the entire time I was surprising her.

Santana told me about the Coffee House event before Rachel even went and had that stupid dinner with Finn. Britt had told her about it but Britt told her so that she could tell Rachel and Rachel could serenade me. But when Rachel told Santana she had been working on a surprise with Artie for me, well, she figured Rachel deserved one, too. I instantly agreed. I don't usually sing in public. It's not my thing, but I am a good singer and an alright piano player. The song had also been an obvious choice, even though it took me a while to realize it - if that makes any sense.

At the moment, there are waiters and waitresses serving coffee to people who need a re-fill. Santana is bringing Rachel back to the table by the hand and Erica says, "we have another dedication to someone who was already on-stage. In fact, she was just on-stage." Rachel gasps and looks at Erica. Erica nods and says, "you weren't expecting that, huh, Rachel Berry? Well, prepare yourself because someone special has spent hours practicing - and I know this because I accidentally walked in on her." Rachel looks at me but I keep my gaze fixed on the microphone in Erica's hand. "Please guys, help me welcome our highness, the beautiful head cheerleader, and girlfriend of our super star, Quinn Fabray!"

I exhale three breaths and look at Rachel with a raised eyebrow. "Fuckin' Fabray," she says in her best impersonation of Santana and licks her lip when I point at her.

The clapping is only slowing down when I grab the microphone from Erica.

"Thank you." I tell Erica and she smiles before ducking away. I settle on the piano, fix the mic stand so the mic is hitting my chin, and then look to the right where the audience is supposed to be. The spotlight is blinding but I speak anyway, "God, what was I thinking when I decided to sign up for the spot after my fucking talented girlfriend, isn't that right?" There is laughter and whistling.

I hear Santana yell, "You're right, get back down!"

I laugh at her and squint my eyes to be able to find my friends' faces in the crowd. "I'm not nearly as talented as she is. Or as beautiful. I mean have you guys seen her?" There is cat-calling and a lot of 'fuck yeah's.'

This time Rachel yells, "I personally think you're hotter!"

Britt yells, "Go Quinn!"

I can just imagine Kurt rolling his eyes annoyed.

"Anyway, even though she's perfect -" everyone aw's, - "and I'm not always perfect in pitch, I will serenade her. Only because she loves music and I love her, and so I will sing to her. You deserve this and everything in the world, baby." The crowd aw's once again in perfect harmony.

Okay. I count to four in my head and begin playing. "There you were and there I was..."

Was it fate or from above?  
Either way, I found just what I need.

All I do is think of you,  
Close my eyes and fall into,  
A world that's totally made for you and me.

Oh don't you know, I love, love you.  
I'll never let go, oh, of you.  
In all of my dreams, you're all I see.  
What can I do, but love you?

Now I got someone to hold.  
To keep me warm when life is cold.  
A little sun to melt away the grey.

It happened in the nick of time.  
Unexpected, sweet surprise.  
With one hello, I'll never be the same.

Oh don't you know, I love, love you.  
I'll never let go, oh, of you.  
In all of my dreams, you're all I see.  
What can I do, but love you?

Oh don't you know, I love, love you.  
I'll never let go, oh no, of you.  
In all of my dreams, you're all I see.  
What can I do, oooh.  
In all of my dreams, you're all I see.  
What can I do, mmm, but love you?  
Love you. I love you.

"Fuck, Q. I had no idea you played the piano." Santana says when we're all walking back to hers and Rachel's room, with our respective dates. Rachel has been smiling like a dork ever since I got down from stage, saw her, and kissed her while the crowd cheered.

"I had lessons during elementary and middle school, before cheerleading really took over my life. I had to practice like hell to get the song like I really wanted to." I dip my chin to look Rachel in the eyes. The dopey grin is still on her face. She's not talking so much; it just looks like someone injected her with oxytocin.

"It showed. You were a-mazing." Kurt says, swinging his and Blaine's hands back and forth in between them.

"Thank you, guys."

Britt, who is currently holding tight to Santana's biceps says, "I totally recorded all of you! You were all my favorites." And then she kisses Santana's ear and adds (in what I believe she thinks is a whisper), "but yours was my favorite from my favorites.

"I think everyone who performed tonight was incredibly talented. Isn't it so nice to witness how much talent the world has? I just think it's so cool. The only problem I have with that is that we probably won't ever get to experience even 1% of all the talent the world has to offer." Blaine says.

Santana throws him an odd look but Britt beats her to it, "totally! We should have a world convention of talents!"

Santana smiles, completely smitten and says, "we sure can. Rachel can organize it and pay for everyone's tickets."

Rachel is still smiling and I meet her eyes again and smile back, "Yeah." She says and I doubt she understood a thing of what was just said.

"Hey, guys. I think Rach and I are gonna go back to mine instead of going with you guys." I say. They all look at us and understand just what we're going to do.

"Yeah, sure. Maybe we should all just part because I'm pretty sure everyone is on the same boat." Blaine offers.

"Yes!" Santana cheers. "I didn't want to be a kill-joy for once because of how awesome tonight was but I really just want to go get my sweet lady kisses on with Britts."

She and Britt hug each one of us and leave, then Kurt and Blaine go, and it's only Rach and I. We're walking to my dorm but we're taking our time. Tonight is not about being in a hurry.

We're strolling under the streetlights, hands clasped together, and Rachel speaks for the first time in a long time, "you're full of good surprises."

"So I didn't embarrass myself?" I say, jokingly.

She giggles, "You don't understand how hard it was for me to stop kissing you after you were finished singing."

"You don't understand how hard it is for me to stop kissing you ever."

"You always have these great little one-liners that I'm sure you have written somewhere under the topic: 'How to Make Girls Swoon In One Phrase.'"

I laugh and shake my head, "no, silly. That's so wrong. The topic is 'How to Make Rachel Swoon in One Phrase.' These are reserved especially for you."

She jumps up on my arms and I catch her, losing my footing for a split second. She attacks my face with kisses. "Smart girl."

"Make love to me?" I ask. She hugs me tight and nods, "Okay." We keep walking, stealing glances from each other. We both still giggle when we catch the other looking. I feel like I'm falling deeper in love with her each time we're together. Anything and everything she does - who she is... she's just - a dream come true.

A dream I didn't even know I had.

But now that I have it, well - I ain't ever letting her go.

Duh.


	19. All the Pretty Girls (Fun.)

"What can I do, but love you?" Quinn finishes the song and I automatically stand to watch her come down the stage as throngs of applause surround her. She's smiling at me even though I know the lights are on her eyes. She silently waves at everyone, shy unlike any other time when she's in front of people (like during cheerleading at games) and makes her way toward me. Our eyes don't ever look away when they lock, until she's pulling me in for a kiss. The crowd cheers us on - girls and boys, gays and straights - get up to their feet and hoot loudly. I smirk into the kiss and Quinn blushes - I feel her cheeks burn as she realizes that she couldn't help herself and wait until we weren't in public to land one on me. I don't mind though. I deepen the kiss and when we pull away, I'm pretty sure I stare at her with a lovestruck gaze.

Quinn was the last person to perform, so after she's done, Erica comes back on stage with James and they each tell us how much fun the event was and that we stay tuned for more events by the LGBT Club.

"So what do we do now?" Blaine asks.

"I have some beers in my room if you guys want it." Santana offers and I concentrate on Quinn. I'll do whatever she wants to do tonight. She looks at me with a questioning look and I smile to let her know how I feel. She fights off a grin unsuccessfully and agrees with the plan. She takes my hand and we start walking toward our room. "Fuck, Q. I had no idea you played the piano." Santana changes the subject. Britt grips onto her left bicep and keeps it close to her body as we walk.

"I had lessons during elementary and middle school, before cheerleading really took over my life. I had to practice like hell to get the song like I really wanted to." I'm pretty sure I'm on heaven and that Quinn is the prettiest angel there is. She's so gorgeous and she loves me. And she declared it in front of - not only our friends- but also strangers, through music. I mean, damn, she sure knows the way to my heart.

"It showed. You were a-mazing." It's Kurt that says that. I think. I'm not sure because Quinn's been looking at me with that adorable look when she thinks something I did was cute. I smirk on the inside because this only means that she's feeling the same thing I am - that we need to get alone and we need to do it soon. I try to think back and remember if Mary is gone this weekend or not because clearly mine and Santana's room will be occupied.

"Thank you, guys." She says, still maintaining eye contact.

Britt says, "I totally recorded all of you! You were all my favorites." She adds as a whisper to Santana, "but yours was my favorite from my favorites." And it doesn't even make me upset.

"I think everyone who performed tonight was incredibly talented. Isn't it so nice to witness how much talent the world has? I just think it's so cool. The only problem I have with that is that we probably won't ever get to experience even 1% of all the talent the world has to offer." Blaine blabs away and I silently wonder if anyone is paying attention or if everyone else is as intoxicated by Quinn right now like me.

Britt thinks of a brilliant idea, "totally! We should have a world convention of talents!" Quinn looks away to check people's reactions, giggling so quietly that I can only tell because I'm so close to her.

Santana is the obvious choice to respond here, because no one else has the heart to hurt her feelings, nor is anyone else is in love with her to encourage it. "We sure can. Rachel can organize it and pay for everyone's tickets."

When Quinn finally looks back at me to check for my reaction at Santana's stupid joke (I'm pretty sure everyone thinks I'm not paying enough attention but I am... just too busy adoring this girl to speak), I'm still smiling. She smiles back. "Yeah," is all I manage to say and I only do because I'm sure people expect something out of me.

But then Quinn hears the tone in my voice - the tone only she can recognize by now, I hope, and says, "Hey, guys. I think Rach and I are gonna go back to mine instead of going with you guys." I say. They all look at us and understand just what we're going to do.

I'm positive I hear a collective relieved sigh, and Blaine speaks, "Yeah, sure. Maybe we should all just part because I'm pretty sure everyone is on the same boat."

"Yes!" Santana throws a fist in the air, "I didn't want to be a kill-joy for once because of how awesome tonight was but I really just want to go get my sweet lady kisses on with Britts."

After everyone leaves (finally!), Quinn and I walk in silence, holding hands, but it's only a while before I talk, "You're full of good surprises."

She blushes lightly and jokes, "So I didn't embarrass myself?" I know she knows how amazing she was.

I giggle because I remember her lips on mine after singing that song and how I felt and how I wanted to take off all of her clothes. "You don't understand how hard it was for me to stop kissing you after you were finished singing."

"You don't understand how hard it is for me to stop kissing you ever," is what she replies with.

I retort, "You always have these great little one-liners that I'm sure you have written somewhere under the topic: 'How to Make Girls Swoon In One Phrase.'"

Laughing, she corrects me, "no, silly. That's so wrong. The topic is 'How to Make Rachel Swoon in One Phrase.' These are reserved especially for you." I'm giddy tonight. I'm so so so in love with her. But it seems like everything I feel only gets stronger. It shouldn't be possible for a girl make me feel this way, but from the moment I first laid eyes on Quinn, I knew she was different - and am I glad I didn't let my fears (or anyone else's) get in the way of being with her.

Quinn doesn't ever not know when to catch me, even if she loses her balance sometimes to accommodate us both. I say in between a flood of pecks to her face, "Smart girl."

"Make love to me?" She asks and it's beautiful. It's like music to my ears. I nod, because damn, I've been wanting it since I heard Erica say someone was serenading me tonight. "Okay," I say with a hug.

The rest of the walk to her room is full of glances being stolen and giggles infiltrating the night air. She smiles at me and I smile back, and we'll go quiet and serious for a split second before we both start laughing uncontrollably. I must admit it's a little bit like being drunk, but I have a feeling this drug is called love.

Quinn opens the door to her room and it's dark inside. I step in first because she holds the door open from behind me, and turns on the light. She follows me inside and closes the door by leaning back on it. She's watching me walk around in her room and I can feel her eyes roaming over my body. "Come here," I call her with arms stretched out.

I look down and watch Quinn's fingers bury deep inside of me repeatedly as I ride her. I'm almost there. "I'm gonna come," I rush out. She rakes her nails down my neck and across my shoulders. Then her nails travel down my chest and she opens her palm to grope my right breast. She flattens her hand and massages it back and forth across my hard nipple. She leans forward and catches the other one in her mouth. "I'm - oh, fuck."

Quinn nods, gulps. She gasps when I buckle over her and fall with my head between her breasts. I try to slow down my breathing by doing so slowly and she keeps her fingers buried there. My body still tremors lightly, especially when I feel her run her nails across my back. That one hand holds me by my shoulder blades. She pulls out, cleans her fingers on her sheets, and brings the other up too and hugs me. I feel her struggle to lean forward and kiss the top of my hair. "You good?"

"Definitely," I respond and raise my eyes to her. She's looking at me already. She untangles one arm and uses the tip of her index finger to trail up my arm and trace my jaw. Then she grips the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss, our eyes locked.

"You're breathtaking," she says, "and I crave you constantly."

I climb up her body so I can look into her eyes straight on. I place my elbows on each side of her face and my hair falls over my shoulders. "It's definitely mutual," and then dip my chin to kiss her lips.

She cups both of my cheeks with her left hand and holds me in place. When she pulls away she closes her eyes and kisses the scar on top of my forehead. "I love everything about you." She kisses my dimples when I smile at the confession.

"There's only one thing I don't like about you." I tell her conspiratorially.

She makes an incredulous face and asks, "what?"

I giggle and drop my lips to her ear, "how you can eat mushrooms and not be disgusted by their texture!"

She laughs and rolls so she's hovering over me, "cause they're fucking delicious - that's why, you dork."

I purse my lips, "mmmm, I can think of something else that's even more delicious!"

"What?" She irks her right brow, already smiling that mischievous smile that I love.

"I think you know what." I remark and bite my lip.

Quinn quickly pecks my lip and then says, "I'm starving," as she makes her way down my body.

"Can we talk?" she asks as she sits on the red chair next to mine in the auditorium.

I smile and nod. I'm sitting here, with my feet propped up on the back of the seat in front of me and my arms thrown over my knees. I'm in sweats and a Yankees jersey, waiting for my scene and watching Jesse as Cyrano. He's brilliant!

"I love you-" he murmurs and writes at the same time. I remember Quinn, beautiful Quinn laying under me this morning. Sunbathed features, from the light through the window's blinds, and squinting eyes. I remember mouthing those words to her and playing with a strand of her hair.

The First and Second poets exchange words. April sighs and crosses her legs, "listen, Rachel..."

I look at her and wait. Meanwhile, Cyrano keeps murmuring, "And your eyes-" My attention snaps back to Jesse/Cyrano with his long nose and the feather in hand. Her eyes. I go back to waking up this morning and those eyes being the first things I see. I smile.

"I try not to make it my business to meddle with my stars' relationships..." April begins. I focus back on her and try not to think so much of Quinn and all of her body parts as she speaks.

"And your lips-"

"But it has been brought to my attention that you're in a relationship with a girl right now, correct?" She smiles politely and I agree.

"Sure, Quinn." I offer, still not understanding where this is going.

"And when I see you I am weak with fear." Cyrano declares.

"Well, it's my understanding that Quinn is not involved with theater," she assumes.

I frown and shake my head, "no."

"Forever yours-" my lips curl up into a smile regardless of the feeling I have that this conversation will not be good.

April perks up, her voice squeaks with excitement and she claps her hands, "oh. Well, great! That means there will be no problems then!"

"Problems?"

She calms down a lot more and says, "yeah. I mean, you know that non-theater people don't really get us." She says. "You know that won't last." It's meant to sound casual and like it's okay but my insides are starting to twist and I feel bile coming up.

"Again, Jesse. From the top," calls out Will from the middle of the aisle where he's standing with a student.

Jesse begins again, "I love you-"

"You have to know, Rachel, that this is how show business is. You gotta get with the people that'll get you places, if you know what I mean." She elbows me on the side with a playfulness and I cringe. "For example, have you ever considered Harmony Willows?" April points to the other girl. She's sitting on the edge of the stage, near the piano, far from where Jesse is rehearsing. Harmony is talking animatedly with some red haired boy with freckles and he nods along, pretending he's interested.

"And your eyes-" I focus on Harmony again. Her eyes aren't that pretty. Not compared to Quinn's. And they don't quite... Sparkle.

I drop my feet to the ground and sit up straight and then really stare at Harmony.

"Your lips-" my gaze follow down to her red lipstick. She might feel me staring because she frowns and looks around until she spots April and I and waves. I snap out of it and we wave back cordially. I'm completely embarrassed but she pretends not to have noticed. She turns to red-hair boy - we call him Goldfish because of the color of his hair and the way his face looks when he's zoned out - and keeps talking.

"And when I see you, I am weak with fear."

"I don't know what you're trying to say." I admit, struggling to form a coherent sentence.

April laughs, "Come on, Rachel! It would look so good and it'd be great publicity for the play. Especially when it's just starting. Think about it," she swipes her hands in front of us with a dazzling show choir smile and sings, "'Rachel Berry and Harmony Willows: the workshop of love!' Get it? We'll have them write all about how you fell in love with Mr. Willows' daughter while coming to Spring Awakening workshops and she'd always show up, to visit her daddy. You'd watch her from afar and try to impress her and she started to come to watch you - I mean people will buy that like water!" She giggles.

"Forever yours -"

"I completely understand romance at this age. You think you'll be with, uh, -"

"Quinn," I fill in for her.

"Right! With Quinn forever, but come on, is that really plausible? You'll fall out of it and then you'll regret not doing what's best for your career," she emphasizes that word with flourish, "and then what?"

I don't know if I'm supposed to give her a response, so I don't. I feel like I'm being attacked. I look back to where Harmony was but she's gone.

I curse myself.

"Just think about it, Rachel." April must have noticed I'm really confused because I can feel my head start to hurt from how hard I'm frowning. "You don't have to do anything now," her voice fluctuates in tone and she pats my knee. "In fact, have some fun with Quinn until the end of the semester, if you want. But it'd be a lot more beneficial if you dated a Willows." She winks at me and gets up. "Good talk!" She turns on her heels and walks her pink skirt-blazer combo with the neon shoes out of the auditorium, obviously stopping to hug Will goodbye.

"Again, Jesse! From the top!"

"And I love you-"

I walked out of rehearsal before it was over and that hasn't happened in a long time now. I haven't felt the need to storm out like that in forever but as soon as April is out of sight, I get up grabbing my bag and leave through the side doors.

When I reach my room, I'm crying. Santana and Britt move away from each other and I see a glint of anger in Santana's eyes until she realizes I'm crying.

I try to leave, "I'm sorry!" I call out as I open the door and rush back out but I still hear Santana's desperate call muffled by the door.

"Wait! Rachel!"

I keep walking, not exactly sure where to go because Quinn's is not an option.

I have three missed calls from her phone.

A door slams shut and I feel Santana running toward me. She stops me with a grip on my arm and turns me around to face her. "Hey," she says with soft concern. "What happened? Was it Quinn? Last time you were like this-" Santana's shirt is on inside-out and her yoga pants are not on right. She's barefoot and her hair is a mess.

"Wasn't Quinn," I say. "It - it has to do with her though."

Santana's left hand makes way to dry a few of the teardrops rolling down my cheeks and she shushes me, "shh, shh. Hey, don't cry, Berry. You're in the middle of the hallway - people can see." She's not worried about that but she won't just straight up say, 'I hate to see you cry.'

I shake my head to the side determined to stop crying and breathe in deeply, "you're so right. Gosh dammit, I'm a mess."

"Want to tell me what happened, huh?"

I don't want to say it. I don't want to think about it... Instead I say, "would you and Britt be interested in going to a party?"

She gives me a pointed look but doesn't say anything about my diversion. She smiles sadly, "let me go ask Britts okay?"

I'm sweating profusely. There are sweat drops falling from my forehead and it probably doesn't look attractive but it doesn't matter to me because I'm not here to pick up chicks. I'm here to dance with as many as possible and then leave.

The current girl I'm dancing with is not ridiculously hot or anything, but she has nice eyes and I can tell she's only here for fun. I smile when I throw my hands up and she follows suit. It just feels so liberating.

The music changes and I stay on the cramped living room turned dance floor of an off-campus student and find a different girl to dance with by scanning the crowd.

It surprises me to see Quinn staring right at me with an unwavering expression. I walk up to her and timidly say, "hey."

"Hi," she says back and places a cold hand on my flushed cheek, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I'm not sure exactly since I called you and you never picked up and then I had to hear from your best friend that you wanted to go partying on a Monday night."

"You called Santana to check up on me?" I ask.

She laughs humorlessly, "no. She called me. Saying you were distressed and by the way she sounded on the voicemail I thought she might've been implying that-"

"What? I was gonna go off and cheat on you?" I ask with a threatening edge to my voice and narrowed eyes. My anger at myself starts to rise, and as I result I lash out at her.

Her eyebrows raise, she wasn't expecting that. "Rach, no. Just, calm down okay?"

"Don't." I bite, "Don't tell me what to do."

"Don't do that. Don't give me that bullshit. You're not angry at me. I haven't done anything. If you don't want to talk about it that's fine but don't blame me for whatever it is that has you like this." She crosses her arms and doesn't shy away from my glare.

I give in first and drop my eyes, "I'm sorry. You're right..." She sighs and runs a hand through her hair, now a lot longer than when we first met. I reach out tentatively and wrap some of her hair around my index finger, "really. I apologize. I'm just so confused and I had a terrible night..."

She doesn't hesitate to pull me into her then, and I melt in her arms. "I'm sorry you've had a terrible night."

"You're too good to me." I tell her and it's true. I'm always asking so much from her and she's always working on giving me what I want. And what I want is her! But why is it that I just - why is it that April's words have been weighing on my conscience ever since we talked?

When Sylvester had told Quinn to break up with me, at the beginning of our relationship, she flat out refused and even threatened her own coach for me. I feel like a coward for not saying anything to April at all.

"It's because I love -" she begins to say but I can't hear it at the moment so I swallow her words in a kiss.

When our kiss ends, she keeps her eyes closed for a second longer than I do with a lazy smile on. "That never gets old," she says softly.

I nod, "I know. Hey, do you want to dance with me?"

She points at herself and raises an eyebrow as if she's surprised I'm asking her, "who? Me?"

I laugh and slap her arm lightly before pulling her toward the dance floor, "yes, you, silly. You're much hotter than any of the girls here and I get to make out with you. It's such a win."

She doesn't need me to keep dragging her because I know she loves dancing. She automatically fits my body in front of hers and hugs me from behind. Her fingers sprawl on top of my stomach, dipping lower until they reach my skirt's waistband. She lets her hand rest there and drags the other one up my body slowly, sensually, to the beat, and to my arm.

"I can be there for you -" she says in my ear and I shiver. "Even if you feel like you can't tell me or that I'll get upset - I want to be there for you. I want you to come to me and let me know you're not okay." All I can do at this point is nod. "I'll not always accept it but I'll always try to understand it because I love you." She says and kisses behind my ear. "Okay?"

I nod, and try to get into her head and see if she would truly understand. "But I'm still not ready to talk about it because when I do it'll just make it... real, you know?"

She slowly unwraps herself and turns me around to face her completely, "babe - I'm not perfect. I know I'm not but I can work on being patient with you and less jealous for you. So, you know, take your time but I'm hoping one day you'll be as willing to always be one hundred percent open with me as I try to be with you."

She's always so caring, so tender, so loving toward me. I shake my head, still trying to understand why she would ever waste her time with someone like me. Someone who puts her through shit like Finn... and, Harmony. "I know, you do. You're great. And I will - am - I am working on being able to trust you to be there even if I say something you don't like."

We stop dancing. I grab her by the hand and we go to the bathroom where we can have this - seemingly serious conversation - in a semi-private spot. "It's just - in my previous relationships and with people in high school, most of the times they would just make me feel like shit for wanting things and for not always doing things how they wanted it to get done, you know? I have a hard time accepting that people will ever just not do that. And, I need to work on being more trusting that you won't do that. That you won't walk away on me for not liking something about me." Quinn's leaning on the door, with a hand on her cheek, really paying attention to what I'm trying to say. "I usually like to fix things first and then talk about it. It's what I tried to do with Finn and - I think it's what I need to do in this case, okay?" I dip my chin to meet her eyes when she understands that I won't be talking to her about it soon. But I'm mostly doing it to protect her.

"You -" She says, "You, uh, tell Santana everything."

"She's my best friend."

"Yeah, I know, and I'm not saying I don't want you to talk to her about these things, but... I'm jealous of her. I want to be that person, too." Her voice starts to get shaky. "I can handle it. I can. Whatever it is, I can get over how I feel so I can be there for you." Her eyes shut for a little while and she opens them again and there are speckles of gold that I find myself mesmerized at. "When things happen, I want you to call me; I want you to come to me."

"Hey," I come closer and wrap my arms around her waist and stare at her until she stares back at me, "I know you want to be there and I want you to be there too, but it's not that easy for me."

I hold her tighter, and then she finally holds me back, sighing and relaxing against the door. "Okay. I'll be patient."

I tilt my head slightly and kiss under her jaw, "thank you. And I promise I'll work on trusting others more, okay? More specifically you."

She approaches me on Thursday, after rehearsal is done. Blaine is complaining to me about his older brother, Cooper, when she clears her throat to make her presence known. Blaine excuses himself awkwardly and walks away.

"I just wanted you to know that I had nothing to do with what April Rhodes told you on Monday."

I struggle to speak and not seem like I've been upset at her all this time, "I believe you."

She grabs my wrist, "do you really? You won't even look at me."

So I do. "Listen, Harmony," I'm tired and my voice shows it, "I don't want to deal with this right now."

"This being me?"

"Yeah, this being you."

She flinches and says, "wow, Rachel. If I were you I would not talk to me like that."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I ask, standing up to my full height (which is not that tall but my glare must scare her because she takes a step back.

"Look," she checks around us to make sure no one is listening and lowers her voice, "We're friends. We really are. But I'm really fucking tired of you telling me how things are going to work. So, listen up, Berry," her voice brightens up dramatically and for the first time I worry that Quinn had been right from the beginning, "Tell your girlfriend that she just won herself a competition. And we already know the winner right?"

"Harmony, come on. You can't force me to like you."

"We'll see about that!" she winks and leaves. I stay behind wondering what just happened.

Santana's mouth is hanging open, "she didn't."

"Oh yeah," I drag out, unbelieving it myself, "she did."

"Fuck her!" She snaps. "Tell her to go fuck herself and forget about her!" I shrug and stay quiet. "Oh, damn. You can't, can you? Her father is about to give you your big break. You so can't do that."

"No."

"Well, damn."

"What about Quinn?"

"What about her?"

"What do I do about her? I don't know how I'm supposed to tell her that to stay on SA, I need to break up with her."

Santana stands up in rage, "You can't do that! You're not gonna do that, are you?"

"Of course not!" I shriek, surprised and outraged she'd ever even ask that.

"So what are you gonna do?"

"Didn't I just ask you that?"

"Damn it."

"Maybe I don't have to do Spring Awakening..." I lie. I know it and Santana knows it if the look she gives me is any indication.

"You're in love with that project! I wouldn't let you and I'm sure neither would Quinn."

"What if she breaks up with me over this?"

"Babe, what? She never would! She's in love with you. If anything, she should worry!"

I growl, frustrated and desperate. "Worst of it is that Quinn expects me to tell her what's wrong and I can't. I can't tell her because it'll ruin everything."

"But not telling her won't be a good idea either..." Santana voices my other concern.

"Well... I have until the end of the semester to make a decision apparently."

"Semester ends faster than you'd think."

"I'm gonna have to tell her, right?"

"Tonight would be best."

I'm apprehensive about this upcoming conversation but I exhale and with it, I try to exhale my fears. I shake my hands nervously and knock on her door.

"Comin!" I recognize the voice being Mary and not Quinn. The door is opened and Mary is smiling at me, "oh, hey, Rachel! Quinn just left to go get us some beer. Come in!"

I walk in and awkwardly make my way to her bed. "Are you guys having some kind of roommate bonding thing? Cause I can go and speak to her later."

"Nonsense! She'd kill me if I let you go."

I smile and pray that she takes just a little longer.


	20. Save the Last Dance For Me (Michael Buble)

Sometime after trying to call Rachel for the third time (and giving up), I get a frantic phone call from Santana, but I'm in the shower so I can't pick up. I listen to the voicemail as I'm changing, and make my way to the address she leaves on there as soon as I can. The apartment is brimming with sweaty people but still, my eyes find her in the middle of the crowd, dancing with another girl - she's alright, but for some reason I don't feel the pang of jealousy I expect to.

I smile when I think of the fact that she will probably be going back home with me. I will be the one who gets to take her home, and I will be the one who gets to hold her. It doesn't matter who she dances with as long as she saves the last dance for me.

For a while I stay on the sidelines, watching the crowd, and looking for Santana or Brittany to know what happened. Rachel sees me before I find them.

She's looking around the dance floor, looking for the next dance partner when she spots me. She doesn't smile or anything, but she doesn't pretend not to see me, and she doesn't hide so I take those as good signs.

"Hey," she says when she walks up to me, dodging moving limbs.

"Hi," I touch her burning cheek with the tip of my fingers, carefully, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" She seems agitated.

I keep my voice calm, but I do emphasize a few words, "Well, I'm not sure exactly since I called you and you never picked up and then I had to hear from your best friend that you wanted to go partying on a Monday night."

"You called Santana to check up on me?" She asks, her flushed face grows redder. She's sweating like I've never seen before.

I let out a hollow laugh, "no. She called me. Saying you were distressed and by the way she sounded on the voicemail I thought she might've been implying that-"

She cuts me off, and I can tell she's wanting to pick out a fight. Why, I don't know. "What? I was gonna go off and cheat on you?"

"Rach, no. Just, calm down okay?" I'm definitely not in the mood for a fight which I don't even know why it's happening.

"Don't." She says, "Don't tell me what to do."

Before she takes this any further, I cross my arms and tell her, "Don't do that. Don't give me that bullshit. You're not angry at me. I haven't done anything. If you don't want to talk about it that's fine but don't blame me for whatever it is that has you like this." We glare at each other for a good minute until she gives in first. When it comes to glares, I'm the queen.

"I'm sorry." Her gaze falls and she says, "You're right..." I sigh, relieved this didn't go further, and catch her eyes as she follows the movement of my hand threading my hair. She reaches out and starts to curl a lock of hair with her own finger. I relish in the feeling. "Really. I apologize. I'm just so confused and I had a terrible night..."

I pull her into my arms then, knowing she won't reject it. "I'm sorry you've had a terrible night."

"You're too good to me." It's a simple statement which implies too much. I'm confused and I want to knoa what she's referring to but I don't want to push her away.

"It's because I love -" She interrupts me with a kiss which makes me forget my train of thought. When the kiss breaks, the first thing I say is, "That never gets old."

She agrees with a nod and steers our attention toward the dance floor, "I know. Hey, do you want to dance with me?"

I throw her a playful, silly look, raising an eyebrow and pointing at myself, "who? Me?"

She laughs, like I had intended her to, and slaps my arm and then pulls me to the dance floor, "yes, you, silly. You're much hotter than any of the girls here and I get to make out with you. It's such a win."

When we make it to the dance floor, she lets me pull her close to my front and dance against her. She knows how much I love dancing and especially how much I love dancing with her, like this.

"I can be there for you -" I whisper in her ear. "Even if you feel like you can't tell me or that I'll get upset - I want to be there for you. I want you to come to me and let me know you're not okay." I promise to her and I mean it with all my heart. She nods, and I can tell she's making an effort to believe my words but there's still a wall built between us. It's not physical, because our bodies are moving in tandem with each other, but it's an emotional wall. I keep speaking, "I'll not always accept it but I'll always try to understand it because I love you." I kiss behind her ear, "Okay?"

She nods but doesn't give up easily, "But I'm still not ready to talk about it because when I do it'll just make it... real, you know?"

I turn her around to face me, slowly unwrapping her from me, but hold on to her by the arms, "babe - I'm not perfect. I know I'm not but I can work on being patient with you and less jealous for you. So, you know, take your time but I'm hoping one day you'll be as willing to always be one hundred percent open with me as I try to be with you."

She shakes her head and I can read the emotions in her eyes. What she's telling me is true - that she's not ready and not only because she doesn't want to. "I know, you do. You're great. And I will - am - I am working on being able to trust you to be there even if I say something you don't like." She takes my to the bathroom, and explains herself. "It's just - in my previous relationships and with people in high school, most of the times they would just make me feel like shit for wanting things and for not always doing things how they wanted it to get done, you know? I have a hard time accepting that people will ever just not do that. And, I need to work on being more trusting that you won't do that. That you won't walk away on me for not liking something about me. I usually like to fix things first and then talk about it. It's what I tried to do with Finn and - I think it's what I need to do in this case, okay?" I'm really trying to understand where she's coming from but I honestly can't. I just wish -, "You -" I start, "You, uh, tell Santana everything."

"She's my best friend," is what she replies with.

I'm not trying to take over Santana's spot in her life, and I hope she gets that. I'm just trying to let her know she can count on more people to be there for her. "Yeah, I know, and I'm not saying I don't want you to talk to her about these things, but... I'm jealous of her. I want to be that person, too." I know that her not telling me things is her way of protecting me, but I want to be able to take care of her, too. "I can handle it. I can. Whatever it is, I can get over how I feel so I can be there for you. When things happen, I want you to call me; I want you to come to me." I open my eyes - which I don't even remember closing.

"Hey," she says and wraps me in her arms. She waits until my eyes meet hers to say, "I know you want to be there and I want you to be there too, but it's not that easy for me."

She tightens her hold, trying to coerce me into understanding and accepting it. I try to resist but I can't. I can never resist her. So I relax and hold her back, "Okay. I'll be patient."

She kisses under my jaw, "thank you. And I promise I'll work on trusting others more, okay? More specifically you," she promises. I nod and bite back a hopeful smile. I don't want to feel hurt in the future for expecting too much out of her when she just told me she can't do that. "Want to go back to dancing?"

"Yeah, we can do that." I pull her out of the bathroom with a grin.

We don't stay longer at the party. We go back to mine and she sleeps tucked in under my chin.

I walk back from the store quickly because halfway there I realize I have to pee. I went on a beer run for Mary and I because we didn't have any other plans for the night. Rachel's been super busy with the play and she hasn't mentioned anything about wanting to hang out tonight. When I come into the room (I'm expecting to see only Mary), Rachel is there. I'm surprised but in a good way. I'm always happy to see her, so I smile.

I say, "hey," and throw a curious glance at Mary to silently question to see if she knows what my girlfriend is possibly doing here. She shrugs and I look back at Rachel.

"Hi," she sounds nervous and makes her way to me. She grabs the bag from my hand and I let her take it to place it on my desk.

"What are you doing here?" I ask out of curiosity and not because I don't want her here. It's just because she usually calls or texts first before coming over.

She shrugs and averts my eyes, "I was hoping we could talk." For the first time tonight my blood gets cold and I worry. Nobody ever wants to hear those words. "I didn't mean to intrude on your bonding time with Mary but she wouldn't let me leave."

I smile at Mary and then at Rachel, "I'm glad she didn't. What did you want to talk about?"

Rachel looks down for a second and then looks up at me, extending her hand, "Want to go for a walk?" My suspicions are confirmed. This is not going to be a good talk if she wants to leave. Otherwise she'd be completely fine with Mary listening in. We have had many talks around Mary when they weren't issues.

Mary says, "hey, I could totally go if you guys want-" and Rachel and I avert our attention from each other's eyes to her.

I have my hand in Rachel's when she says, "no, that's okay. I'd like to show Quinn something, if that's alright with her."

"Of course." I tell her and squeeze her hand. She smiles but I already recognize it as a fake smile, like she's struggling to do so. I have many theories as to why she's here tonight and why it's so awkward between us but I let it be.

And by the way she's so nervous I can tell this won't be good at all, and that it possibly has more to do with me than she has let on. I wonder if it has anything to do with what had her so upset early this week but I try not to get ahead of myself and freak out until she has the opportunity to talk.

"How was your day?" She asks while we're walking down the stairs to the lobby.

I sigh quietly at the small talk, hoping we could hurry up and get to the big stuff. But, I realize she is struggling and so I respond, "it was really good, actually. Practice was really productive and I have finally managed to convince Sylvester into letting me hold private auditions with Santana. I also got my Econ test back; A+."

She smiles and I can tell this one is genuine, "great! That's the one you were worried about, right?"

"Right," I say." Where are we going?" Curiosity takes the best of me and I have to ask. I'm worried and confused and I really just need to know.

She stops walking when I ask and drops her head, "please, trust me?" Her voice comes out laced in... Doubts. I wonder why but I nod.

"I do." It mostly feels like she was asking herself to trust this.

"Okay." We keep walking until we hit the theatre building here on campus. "Come on," she guides us into the building through its main entrance and then into the cold auditorium. It's empty of people, but there are props and sets of the play she's currently in all over the stage. "Sit here," she instructs when we make our way up on stage. She makes me sit on a box. "Pretend you're Roxane - Cyrano's muse. My muse." She smiles, getting excited about this, so I smile back, still trying to understand what she's doing.

I smile and bite my lip as I agree, "okay."

She winks and suddenly is on actress mode. The way she can do that with suh easiness is always a turn on.

"And I love you. And your eyes. And your lips. And when I see you I am weak with fear. Forever yours, Rachel." I gasp. She smiles sadly and places both hands on each of my cheeks to lean in and kiss me softly. "I love you." She hugs me and I let her. "And because I do, I will tell you about what happened. I-" she breathes deeply. "This is really hard for me because I'm really scared of what can happen but you asked and it's the least I can do for you when you've been proving yourself worth of my trust over and over."

I nod, overwhelmed by this moment. "I don't even know what to say, honestly."

"Then don't say anything - just listen." She tells me. Rachel walks across stage and begins, "So April Rhodes spoke to me and basically told me I should end things with you and go out with Harmony. I- didn't tell you because it'd only make things worse. I'm so ashamed because I just sat there and let her talk. She said I should be with someone who understands me and someone that can get me places in my career... She mentioned that I should have fun with you until the semester ends." My brain is going at a million miles an hour. I'm telling myself that maybe this is a dream and that maybe she isn't about to break up with me.

"Rachel," I whimper. I feel tears pool but I fight with all that's in me not to let them go.

"Then Harmony comes up to me and says she had nothing to do with April talking to me and then threatened me. She said I should warn you because now you have competition and that she's tired of me calling the shots. She even mentioned using her pull with her father." Rachel says. I really want to say, 'I told you so!' but I don't.

I can't decide which emotion is reigning at the moment: rage, fear, confusion, or hope. I don't know. I can't tell with how she's speaking. I shake my head and decide to hope. Decide to put trust in her, like she had asked me to earlier.

"Today I was reading over the play's script once again and every line reminded me of you. The way Cyrano's in love with her and how he captures her with his words just had me thinking about you. And I've decided that I don't care about what April says or what Harmony threatens me with."

I look at her wide-eyed and have to ask to make sure I heard her right, "what?"

"It might be a little late but I decided that I don't want to let other people control my life like that. I'm not that pathetic. And I don't want to let you go just because there's a possibility they might take my part from me."

My heart tears in two at what she says. I can't help it but love hear her say she'd do that for me but at the same time I don't want to let them do that to her. "No, Rach, come on. Don't say that. They'd never do that."

"They totally could. They might." She shrugs, sadly. "It's not an easy decision for me but it's what I have to do."

I sigh, "I would never let you give up the chance to be on a Broadway play -"

"Off-Broadway," she corrects me.

"For me. Your happiness is important to me and Spring Awakening is important to you; it makes you happy. It's an opportunity to get there!"

"Quinn, baby." Her body sags entirely into my body. She rests her forehead on mine, "You make me happy. I can find other ways to get there. But I'm not planning on only letting them take it away from me just like that. Obviously I'm going to fight for it."

I breathe out slowly. I have to think and put my thoughts in order. "You need to rethink this again." As much as I like the idea of her being with me still, I need to encourage her dreams. For her happiness; for our happiness. "What if you end up resenting me over this?"

"I've made my decision. I'm going to speak to April tomorrow. See if I can get a meeting in with Mr. Willows, too.

I wipe a few tears, "surely there must be other ways for you and Harmony to work this out without it costing your future, Rachel."

"No. I told you she's pretty set on it."

"I won't compete with her for you, you know that, right? I shouldn't have to. You're mine and -"

She smiles and runs her hand over my hair, "I am. No matter what. She can't force me to like her and if it costs the part as Wendla, I'll just have to find another way to make it to Broadway."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that; I don't want you to have to give it all up for me," I argue, standing up from the box.

She looks at me with eyes full of tears. "I don't want to have to make this choice. You wanted to know the truth and this is it. But, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, baby."

My head falls and my arms cross. She closes the distance between us and wraps me up in a hug. "I don't know what you want me to say." I whisper out in tears. She rubs her hands on my back, making soothing circles and I think about how wrong this is - how I should be the one comforting her.

In my head, there is a conflict. I want her to give up Spring Awakening if it means she'll be with me, but at the same time, I don't want her to be with me if it means she doesn't get Broadway.

"Then like I said, don't say anything." She gives me a kiss on the cheek, "I've thought about this a lot. It's been on my head since Monday when April spoke to me and I freaked out. And when Harmony talked to me on Thursday I knew I'd have to make a decision and soon. I talked to Santana and she pushed me to talk to you and she was right. You were right; you deserve to know, even though I was only trying to protect you." She gives me a teary smile and dries some tears from my eyes. ""And I love you. And your eyes. And your lips. And when I see you I am weak with fear. Forever yours, Rachel.' How could I ever let you go? You're the one person who got through to me. You're the girl who makes me smile when I'm in the middle of a World Civ test," she admits and blushes a little. I giggle. "And - you make me want to trust in people again. I'll sort this out, I promise." Her hand craddles my cheek and I lean into it, needing to feel her warmth. "I don't want you to ever feel guilty about this, okay?"

I nod. Take a few quick breaths.

"You have to promise."

"I promise." I tell her. The hand on my cheek makes way to the back of my neck and pulls me closer to her. Our kiss is needy and passionate and sad and real.

"I was hoping I'd find you here. I wasn't sure because it's Saturday but you know, I asked around."

She whips her head around, stupid red beanie almost falling. When she recognizes me, I see fear take over her face for a split second and then... She smirks. It makes me want to strangle her, but I wait a second for that feeling to pass and raise an eyebrow at her when she says, "Quinn, how very nice to see you. Where's Rachel?"

Then my blood starts to boiling again. I ball my fists and glare at her. But I can't let her see that when she says things like that it upsets me. She cannot know I feel threatened. I take a step closer and she finally fully turns to look at me.

A few of her friends look at us awkwardly and shuffle into the studio behind her. I hear whispering about me but ignore it since Harmony's my biggest problem right now. "I'll be right there you guys. Start without me."

"Don't worry about Rachel." I tell her. She huffs and shakes her head in annoyance and I speak again, "What you need to do is stop worrying about Rachwl, and stop going after her."

"Are you threatening me?"

I chuckle, "yeah, yeah I am. I'm not scared of you, not even a little bit." I touch my index finger to my thumb to demonstrate how little. "But you're messing with her career and come on- you and I both know she deserves that damn part."

She admits it, nodding her head and shrugging nonchalantly, "of course she does."

"Then why would you ever do this to her?"

"In which other way would I be able to ever get her to speak to me, even look at me with someone like you as her girlfriend? All is fair in love and war." She bends over to pick up her bag and some books. "And maybe you shouldn't go around threatening people, Quinn. It won't get her anywhere."

"Hey!" I stop her before she leaves. "There is no competition betwee you and I. She's already picked me. She's picked me over and over. Even over her damn ex-boyfriend. So you should quit while you're ahead."

She sighs and looks around quickly. "I know she has. You don't need to keep reminding me."

"I do. Because maybe this will remind you that she doesn't like you and that by doing this you're making her unhappy: you're taking away her carreer or her lover and how do you expect her to be happy like that? Even if she picks you, she won't be happy. You know that."

She looks like she's contemplating my words and then smiles sadly. "Well, I have to take my chances that she'll want to do Spring Awakening more than you."

"I already told you she's made a choice. Look, just apologize to her and talk to your dad. Take it all back and don't lose her friendship. She'll forgive you." Harmony wipes a tear that I hadn't even noticed and holds on to the grip on the door. "I'm serious, don't mess with her anymore." I lean in, changing my tone of voice from you know concerned to fucking serious, "Because I'll fucking make your life a living hell. Her best friend - Santana Lopez? Not that much stable than me. And we have agreed that Rachel's happiness comes first and we will not sit around and let you make her your puppet." I say and lightly slap her cheek three times. Then I grip her face, not enough to hurt but to pull her closer, "understood?"

She looks up at me with scared eyes and nods.

I let her go with a smile, "good. I'm glad this conversation went well." I tap her on the arm, "have fun dancing." And walk away, swaying my cheerleading skirt with pride.

"You told her that?" Santana asks loudly in the library where we're supposed to be studying.

The librarian shushes us again and I throw Santana a look. "Yes!" I hiss at hee, "but you have to stop yelling - we're in the library for goodness sakes!"

"I told you we should have just studied in your room or something."

"I can't concentrate."

"It's not like we're getting anything done." She argues. I look at the books and papers all over the desk and sigh when I realize we haven't really touched them in 45 minutes.

I run a hand through my hair. "I'm in need of a haircut again, wanna go?"

She shrugs, packing her stuff in her backpack, "nothing better to do."

We catch a taxi and I pay when we get to the place where they cut my hair without butchering. Santana sits on a chair, crosses her legs and picks up a magazine. Meanwhile, the lady with pink hair asks me how short I want it. I tell her the same as last time and she smiles and gets to work.

"Maybe now she'll back off." Santana starts again.

I sit still and side-eye her. She's focused on her magazine, "I think she will. If she's smart, she will."

"What if her father finds out you threatened her and takes the part away from Rachel anyway?"

"God - I don't think Harmony would tell him. I certainly made it clear that if Rachel loses the part, I'd go after her."

Santana laughs, "I'm kind of hoping she does something stupid, aren't you? It'd finally give you a reason a chance to beat the hell out of her."

The woman cutting my hair looks startled. I call out, "Santana!"

Santana doesn't apologize, "it's an inside joke." She tells the lady who pretends to believe her.

I chuckle and silently agree that I'm counting the days until I get to face-off Harmony.

Santana and I are in the gym. I'm in my uniform, poised on a chair behind a table in the middle of court. She's staring right at me, hands on her hips, and breathing deeply. I tap my pen a few times on the paper in front of me and think of the next thing I want to see from her.

"You're doing so good, I can't think of anything else I need to see. Do you have anything you'd like to show?"

She chuckles, low and with effort, "that sounds like you're propositioning me for sex, Fabray."

I laugh, "oh, God! No! Definitely no." I tap the pen one last time and throw it on top of the notepad. "Seems to me like you're still in shape and you can still do every move we need you to. I'll show coach my notes on you sometime later this week and I'll let you know if you made the squad. Which I see no reasons why you wouldn't."

She starts walking toward me and grabs her bag beside the table. She searches inside and finds a water bottle. I laugh at how much water she drinks and then collect my things so we can leave together.

"So, how did Rachel like your new haircut?" She asks. We went yesterday and Rachel saw it last night.

"Well, this is how short my hair was when we first met... Let's just say, she really, really liked it." I can't keep the smile which gives away to Santana what happened last night.

"So predictable of Rachel." She huffs, "and did she mentione Harmony or Spring Awakening to you at all?"

"She hasn't brought up my going after Harmony yet so I'm guessing Harmony hasn't told her yet. I mean, I was expecting her to go all out on me for meddling with her business or for attacking Harmony, like when we first met, but she hasn't yet."

Santana hoods the door of the locker room open for us and steps in after me. We fix our stuff to shower and do so, talking about what a bitch Harmony is and how neither of us can believe Rachel's decision. I'm still waiting to hear from her about her conversation with April Rhodes. She hasn't called all day and it's a little worrisome but I don't want to flood her phone with text messages or calls.

Santana and I stop by a deli to grab sandwiches and smoothies for dinner. I get a phone call from Rachel when Ilwe're rounding the corner to Santana's room. "Hi, where are you?"

"I'm on my way to your room with S, why?"

"Oh! Good! I'll meet you both there."

I like to hear how cheerful she is. It must mean the conversation went well. I inform Santana that Rachel's coming home and she says, "damn, she's going to want half of my sandwich." I laugh because it's true. I always get bacon in mine and Santana doesn't.

When we make it there, Santana gets on her computer and makes a phone call to Britt. I lie on Rachel's bed and throw an arm over my eyes to keep the light away.

I'm in that state between sleeping and awake when I faintly register the door opening and then close slowly. I feel her coming close and I think she says, "Hey, San. How was your day?"

Santana says, "pretty good." Her voice is not any louder than Rachel's. I want to tell them I'm awake but my voice won't work.

I feel the bed dip next to my arm and then she bends over and kisses my forehead. I make some noise, just so she knows to stay there because I'm awake. She giggles and then touches my neck. "Are you awake, baby?"

I nod slightly and open one eye. "Hm."

"You're so tired, why?"

I pull her on the bed and she yelps but then she wraps her arms around me and snuggles close. "I haven't seen you all day."

"i know. But guess what? Before I had the chance to speak to April, Harmony spoke to me."

I completely open my eyes in alarm and look at Santana over Rachel's shoulder. Shs's also listening, curious as to what happened.

"What did she say, Rach?" Santana asks.

Rachel laughs in a way I haven't heard before, "Well..." she drags to create suspicion and I hit her on the shoulder lightly. "Baby, she apologized and said she was out of line. She said she'd speak to her father about keeping me on the show and to tell Rhodes to back off!"

Suddenly I'm sitting on my butt and pulling her in for a hug. Relief washes through my body and she laughs. "Oh, yes! Yes!" She pulls me into her just as desperatly, grasping onto my back and arms. Santana chuckles and goes back to her laptop.

"I don't know what you told her," Rachel whispers in my ear and I open my mouth in surprise. "I don't even think I want to know, but it worked so thank you very much. I love you, beautiful."

I blush, caught, and she laughs before pushing me back down by placing a hand on my chest. She straddles me and leans over to kiss my lips. When she bites my lip, I accidentaly moan and this makes Santana turn around, "Hey! What the hell! Could've warned me!" She gets up with a smile though, and grabs her bag before making her way to us. I'm awkward because of the position I find myself in and she laughs, "dude, I'm happy for you guys." And then kisses Rachel's cheek before patting my head.

"Gosh, stop being so sentimental, San." Rachel jokes and pushes her away. I laugh at Santana's sticking out her tongue at her. She leaves and then Rachel's dark eyes are on me again. "Have I said I love you yet?"

"Yes," I giggle, "and I love you back. I can't actually believe that Harmony said that and that you were planning on dropping SA for me. I'm just really glad you didn't have to; I don't know if I'd ever be able to accept that."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's move on, right?" She dismisses my wanting to talk about it to start kissing down my neck. She starts to leave a hickey on the spot where my neck and shoulders meet and I squirm under her. My shirt's off next and she focuses her mouth on the top of my right breast, where the bra isn't covering. My hand crawls behind her head and holds her in place but she fights it off and moves to the next breast, this time sucking on my hard nipple through the fabric.

"Fuck."

"I want to taste you." She informs me and starts making her way down my body. I pull my eyes up to the bottom of the bed above us and wait, expect for her to get there. She kisses across my stomach and unbuttons my jeans. I help her pull put my jeans, and she licks up the inside of my right leg, then my left and stops right above my wet center.

"Please," comes out softly. I don't even know if she hears it, but then she's hooking her thumbs in my panties and pulling that off.

"Hi, there," she jokes and grins up at me. I'm smiling but I'm already breathless from what she's been doing and just thinking about what's to come. I feel the air hitting it right where I need it, and whimper. She chuckles and runs a hand up my naked body to touch my nipple.

I feel her tongue hit my slit over and over and then she drags it up and focus on sucking on my bundle of nerves. My hips buck up and her left hand holds onto my waist, to keep me down.

"More," becomes the word of the night.

I wake up and Rachel's already gone. It's not even 7 am yet. I have to get ready for cheerleading anyway, so I get in her bathroom and take a thirty minute scalding hot shower. When I come out, the mirror is fogged but there's writing on it clearly written by her; it says: 'I love you 1, Q-tie (get it? Lol)! Have an awesome day." I bite my bottom lip, smitten and make my way out to the room. It's cold in the room compared to the bathroom.

I grab my stuff and hurry to my room to change into my uniform and drop off some of my books. I walk there listening to my iPod and Every Teardrop is a Waterfall becomes the soundtrack of my walk there; it feels epic just because of the music.

On my door, another surprise. This one makes me aw out loud. Rachel left a pink sticky note on it that says, "I love you 2, baby. I left a paper bag on your desk with your favorite breakfast burrito from that little place on 3rd you love. Xx."

I make my way inside and Mary's just waking up. "Hey," she says, rubbing her eyes. "Your girlfriend was here at like 6:35 in the morning to drop something off. You should be glad I really like her or I would've murdered her for waking me up."

I laugh and apologize for her, "sorry. But she's amazing isn't she?" My attention is stolen by the paper bag on top of the desk. On it there's a card. I open the card and take out the burrito from inside. "I love you 3, sweetie. Meet me for lunch here?" And attached it there was an address which I'm pretty sure leads to Central Park.

Even though she can't see, I nod. Mary shakes her head at me and goes into the bathroom. I text Rachel instantly.

Quinn: Good morning, principessa. Best surprises ever. I love you! I'll definitely meet you for lunch. Should I bring anything?

She replies almost instantly.

Rach: I love you 4, that's more than I can afford. Don't worry about the food; just bring your sexy self. ;)

Quinn: haha, as long as you promise you'll be there, I'll show up.

Rach: that sounds vaguely familiar.

Quinn: you told me something similar when I mentioned I was glad you showed up at The Lounge when we first met.

Rach: I knew that. I was trying to see if you did.

Quinn: I liked the nickname. Qtie. But only if you keep it between us.

Rach: promise. I'm going to change my contact name right now.

Qtie: sounds good, lol. Do I get another note from you today?

Rach: who knows? ;)

Qtie: YOU DO! Tell me!

Rach: I have class, babe. I'll see you at lunch, kay?

Qtie: Rachel Barbra Berry!

She doesn't reply and I count the hours until I get to see her again. There is a lightness in my step as I go to practice. I go to coach Sylvester's office first thing when I get there. I show her the notes I took on Santana's audition and let her know that I strongly recommend her for our team and what an asset she'd be. She says she'll look over it and then orders me to start practice. When I get to the locker room, the cheerleaders who are already there are looking at something taped to my locker. There's some hushed talking and a lot of aw's and heads tilting.

They make way when they notice me. I stop in front of it and my eyes widen. "I love you 5: this may or may not be tickets to that special showing at the Guggenheim you were dying to see. You'll have to skip your Anthropology class to go on this date with me but I checked your syllabus and know you're not covering anything important today."

"Stalker," I mutter under my breath with a smile.

The note goes on: "Please, be prepared for a lot of gushy and corny feelings. And be nice to your cheerleaders today. :)

Rach.

P.S.: make sure you wear clothes that I can't get you out of easily after our date. ;)"

I blush intently and when I look around me all of the girls are giggling and staring at me with amused eyes, "ugh, get to work." I tell them, biting back a smile.

"You have to be nice to us today," Clarissa jokes. "Rach says so." They laugh but not in a cruel way. In a way that says they are happy for me and one by one they leave the room.

Qtie: You could've warned me that you were planning on embarrassing me in front of my cheerleaders but I loved the note anyway. ;)

Rach: good, I'm glad! Are you being nice to them?

Qtie: I will be, boss! I have to go start practice. See you later.

Rach: Can't wait, Qtie! :D

I'm in a yellow dress with a light green cardigan on top and my cowgirl boots, just because it's a good weather day today. I follow the address on the handdrawn map on the note Rachel left and end up under a tree in the middle of Central Park. I'm waiting, with my hands fidgeting with my hair when I hear her voice from behind me, "Hi, girlfriend."

I turn around and am face-to-face with her smiling face. Her smile grows as she checks me out, and she extends her hand to hand me flowers. They're beautiful orchids, "thank you. What's all this for?"

"For you. Because you make me happy and that's all I ever want to do for you: make you happy." She blushes and grabs my hand. "Come here," she whispers and kisses me sweetly. "Let's go." The tree had been hiding a checkered blanket under its shade. On it, a weave basket, and around that, containers with sandwiches, fruits, and one with pie. "Lemonade instead of sweet tea." She says while pointing at a thermos to keep it cold.

I laugh and let her pull me down to sit. "I'm glad I won't have to make an effort to drink this." I take the lemonade and pour us each a cup. "Thanks for this." I tell her and kiss her on the cheek.

"I wanted to apologize for not giving you enough credit last week. I should've just trusted you."

"Rachel, I get it now. It's hard but I promised I'd be patient."

She tilts her head and says, "I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you."

"You do things like this. I don't know how I'll ever one-up this one." I admit. I look into her eyes and they're full of joy in the moment.

She scoots over to sit next to me, legs crossed, and grabs my hand. She plants a kiss on the back of my hand and says, "want a sandwich?"


	21. Little Romance (Ingrid Michaelson)

I turn in her arms and watch her sleep for a few moments before dragging myself out of bed. If I want today to work out as planned, I have to be out of here in twenty minutes. I succeed in getting out of bed and into the bathroom for a quick shower to fully wake up. I smile thinking about her reaction to all I have prepared for today. On my way out, I stop in front of the mirror and leave her the first message: 'I love you 1, Q-tie (get it? Lol)! Have an awesome day.' And even though she can't see, and even though I know it won't make a difference, I kiss my fingers and touch them to the mirror.

Before leaving out the door, I peck her on the temple and move some hair out of her face. She stirs but doesn't wake. I smile and grab my bag on the way out.

It's 6:15 when I reach the breakfast joint on 3rd that I know she loves. I get her favorite and also buy myself a bagel to eat on the way back. By 6:35 I've got the burrito and a card which I bought on my way back to campus.

I'm knocking obnoxiously on her door. This is a minute detail I overlooked; I'm not sure Mary is here, but after a while of my loud knocking I hear her grumble, "Coming!" She opens the door with disheveled hair and dark circles under her eyes and narrows them at me.

I give her my best show smile and say, "Good morning, Mary! I'm sorry for waking you but I planned a surprise for your roommate and I was wondering if I could -" Before I finish talking she motions for me to come inside and I see her roll her eyes before dropping back in bed. She pulls the covers over her eyes and soon I hear light snoring.

Remembering that I have to move, I place her breakfast bag on top of her desk. I take out the card and write the third note she'll read: 'I love you 3, sweetie. Meet me for lunch here?' I scribble a map of he place I want her to meet me at in Central Park and mark the place with a heart and a kiss.

"Later, Mary!" I whisper as I leave the room. I try (and fail) to close the door without making a lot of noise, but it slams at the last second. I grimace and hope Mary doesn't remember that when she wakes up again.

I pull out a sticky note pad and write the second note and then stick it on the door: 'I love you 2, baby. I left a paper bag on your desk with your favorite breakfast burrito from that little place on 3rd you love. Xx.' I kiss this one too and hope no one witnessed that.

Knowing that she's about to wake up, I rush out of there because I don't want to run into her and ruin the entire thing.

She texts me as I'm making my way to the gym. This tells me that she's only 20 minutes behind me and that I have to hurry there and leave before we accidentally bump into each other.

Quinn: Good morning, principessa. Best surprises ever. I love you! I'll definitely meet you for lunch. Should I bring anything?

I drop my bag on top of the bench in front of her locker and text her back.

Rach: I love you 4, that's more than I can afford. Don't worry about the food; just bring your sexy self. ;)

Quinn: haha, as long as you promise you'll be there, I'll show up.

Rach: that sounds vaguely familiar.

Quinn: you told me something similar when I mentioned I was glad you showed up at The Lounge when we first met.

Rach: I knew that. I was trying to see if you did.

Quinn: I liked the nickname. Qtie. But only if you keep it between us.

Rach: promise. I'm going to change my contact name right now.

Qtie: sounds good, lol. Do I get another note from you today?

Rach: who knows? ;)

Qtie: YOU DO! Tell me!

Rach: I have class, babe. I'll see you at lunch, kay?

Qtie: Rachel Barbra Berry!

I don't reply after that because I know she's coming. In a hurry, I take out the last message and tape it on her locker with the tickets for an expo she wanted to see at the Guggenheim.

'I love you 5: this may or may not be tickets to that special showing at the Guggenheim you were dying to see. You'll have to skip your Anthropology class to go on this date with me but I checked your syllabus and know you're not covering anything important today.

Please, be prepared for a lot of gushy and corny feelings. And be nice to your cheerleaders today. :)

Rach.

P.S.: make sure you wear clothes that I can get you out of easily after our date. ;)'

Two of her cheerleaders actually come in when I'm adding the P.S. to the message and they greet me with a "Hey, Rach." I greet them back and smile politely. If they're here, that means she'll be getting here within five minutes or so.

"Don't judge me, guys." I warn them before kissing the note with my eyes closed and leaving the locker room. I leave through the back door of the gym, which leads to the football field.

Her next text message comes a little later than I had calculated.

Qtie: You could've warned me that you were planning on embarrassing me in front of my cheerleaders but I loved the note anyway. ;)

Rach: good, I'm glad! Are you being nice to them?

Qtie: I will be, boss! I have to go start practice. See you later.

Rach: Can't wait, Qtie! :D

I really can't wait. I make my way to the market and buy fresh strawberries and grapes. I also get some lemons so I can make Artie's mom's lemonade recipe just because I know how much Quinn loves it. Still here I acquire the cherry pie. Satisfied with my purchases, I make my way to a small store I saw on my way here and hope they have a basket to hold these items. Thankfully, they have a basket which comes with the traditional red and white checkered blanket and five containers and a thermos included. It's the best deal ever and it just made my life that much easier.

I tell myself not to forget the flowers or sandwiches later. Soon enough I'm in the kitchenette at the bottom level of my dormitory, washing and cutting the strawberries, and washing the grapes. It doesn't take long to do that so I take out one of the containers from the basket and drop the strawberries in there. On another container goes the grapes and then both go into the refrigerator. The pie's been in there since I got here but I take it out momentarily just so I can go ahead and cut it into slices and put it in a different container than it came in. That goes back inside and out comes the lemons.

I pay attention to the e-mail Artie sent with the recipe and try to do everything the recipe says. I roll each lemon under my palm, on the counter, before cutting it in two. I make sure to keep the seeds away. I add the exact amount of water it calls for and skip on adding ice until right before serving.

Grinning from ear to ear, satisfied with what I have so far, I go up to my room and drop in bed. I don't want to fall asleep or anything like that, just rest my eyes and body until it's a little before noon and I have to get up again to meet my beautiful girl.

When I wake up, I'm still smiling. Then within the second in which I realize I'm awake, I panick and check the time on my phone weighing down on my belly. It's almost noon, which means I'm running a little late. I just hope Quinn decides to talk to a classmate or professor after her second class of the morning to gain me some time.

Basket in hand (after checking my hair three times on the mirror in my room, and twice while brushing my teeth), I go back downstairs and ice the lemonade, pour it into the thermos, and place everything in the basket.

I might have a skip in my step as I walk to Central Park. On the way, I stop at a deli place which reminds me of Charlie's back at home and get Quinn her favorite - with bacon, cream cheese, and avocado. I order a chicken pesto sandwich for myself and right then and there put them into the containers from the basket. Now the only things missing are the flowers.

I know there's a flower shop nearby, and I check my phone for the time just as Qtie sends me a text which reads "On my way." I can't stop the smile which takes over my face and I even try to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep it from getting so big, but it doesn't work.

Orchids. Beautiful. Just like she is.

I cross the street and find the tree I know she'll be meeting me under. She'll be coming from the South so I set up the picnic on the North side of the tree, hoping that the obnoxiously large tree trunk will keep her from seeing it immediately.

All around me there are couples jogging together with their dogs, or students on the grass reading large books. There's a group farther ahead playing frisbee, and a few girls riding their bikes together. A man sitting on a fountain has a guitar and an open case, and people will pass by, listen in for a minute or two, drop a few bucks and leave. Even with all these activities going on less than 25 feet away, this tree seems pretty secluded. It feels like it's a different spot, special from the rest, divided by invisible glass.

I finish just in time because when I pick up the orchids again (to wait for her), I see her coming in the horizon. The way the sun is on the sky makes it hard for her to see me, but I can see her in the yellow dress and the boots I love. I giggle and hide behind the tree, feeling naughty and giddy and just plain happy. I breathe in deeply and remind myself that she's already mine and there's no reason for me to be worried whether she'll like me or not at the end of the date.

I wait a minute to settle my nerves. I close my eyes for but a second and when I appear from behind the tree she has her back to me. "Hi, girlfriend." I say to call out her attention.

I forget what breathing entails when she turns to face me. I can never get used to her beauty. She's flawless, in every single way. The way the sunlight creates a halo around her head makes her look like an angel. I smile, taking her all in, and she knows I'm checking her out. There are few things more beautiful than Quinn's smile. It makes my heart flutter in its space and I have to remind myself again that this isn't an evaluation. She already likes me. I check her out again because damn, she's gorgeous, and thrust the flowers at her.

"Thank you. What's all this for?" She asks, looking deep into my eyes.

I tell her the truth, "For you. Because you make me happy and that's all I ever want to do for you: make you happy." I think I blush because she has this adorable look on her face. Grabbing her hand, I pull her close, "Come here," I have to taste her lips. I have to feel their softness up against mine. So I do. Because she followed my instructions well, she was waiting for me on the South side of this ridiculously large tree. The trunk makes a shade on the other side, and hides my surprise well. Alongside the shade, the breeze makes today a perfect day for a picnic. "Let's go." I guide us to the other side of the tree and watch as her eyes widen in amazement. "Lemonade instead of sweet tea."

She laughs and I nudge her down to sit next to me. "I'm glad I won't have to make an effort to drink this." I watch her as she finds plastic cups in the basket and pours us each a cup and I silently berate myself for not doing it first. I'm supposed to be serving her and making this all about her, but in my defense, her voice and laughter and eyes and everything were distracting. "Thanks for this." She says and as a reward gives me a kiss on the cheek.

I tell her what I know she needs to hear - an apology. Not because I think she couldn't live without one, or because she demanded one; because it's what she deserves. "I wanted to apologize for not giving you enough credit last week. I should've just trusted you."

"Rachel, I get it now. It's hard but I promised I'd be patient."

I don't think I tell her how much I appreciate her enough. Besides apologizing, that was another reason why I thought of doing this, "I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you."

"You do things like this. I don't know how I'll ever one-up this one."

I scoot closer to her and kiss the back of her hand, sweetly and what I hope feels romantic before asking, "want a sandwich?"

"Yes, please. What did you get me?" Her perfect teeth come out and hold her bottom lip prisoner and so I don't resist the urge to lean forward and use my thumb to liberate it and then my tongue to sooth it. She returns the kiss with a sigh at the end and when I pull away her eyes are still closed, one eyebrow hitched. She laughs, "I bet it's not as delicious as that kiss..." and opens her eyes.

I laugh along with her and hand the sandwich I got her to her and her eyes bulge out, "you should't speak so fast."

"Oh my, you're right. This sandwich rivals your kisses." She looks at me wiith a mischievous glint in her eyes and a playful tone. I push her on the shoulder slightly to admonish her but she holds on to my wrist and gives me another kiss before I can react. "This has bacon so I'm trying to get my quota before eating it."

I pretend to be pondering on the statement she's made and then say, "Smart." We both descend into a fit of giggles. It's only when we've managed to stop laughing and breathe that we start to eat.

"I bought these because even though I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to endure the smell of raw or cooking bacon."

She looks surprised that I even considered it and then says, "I hadn't expected you to cook - you never do." She's teasing me but it's true. She probably enjoys cooking a lot more than I do. She unwraps hers and takes a bite.

I wrinkle my face at her and say, "You should be glad I don't cook. I'd probably have killed you by now."

She cleans her thumb of some cream cheese by sucking on it lightly, and I try to get my mind off the gutter. She sends me spinning with these simple gestures. Small things that make me hot and has me needing a cold shower. She raises an eyebrow at me, noting my reaction (flushing, coughing awkwardly, and staring pointedly at her -now wet - thumb), and says, "good thing I'm an awesome cook."

For a second I don't understand what she's talking about, but she laughs, snapping me out of it and I apologize between bites, "Sorry, you being so hot is very distracting. And sometimes I feel like a 13 year old boy who just found out how amazing boobs are and he's trying really hard to impress a girl to be able to touch them..." I shake my head and try to explain myself better, "like, I don't know how I managed to get you." She has a smug smile on her face so I throw a grape at her. She opens her mouth but I miss it by yards.

She motions for me to do it again. This time it hits her nose. She groans and rubs the tip of her nose with the palm of her hand and narrows her eyes at me. "Did you do that to get back at me for being so hot?"

I get on my hands and knees and crawl toward her, laughing, and apologize, "Sorry." I kiss the tip of her nose and ask, "Better?"

She nods eagerly, "much."

We eat both sandwiches and most of the fruit, accompanying it with the lemonade. Most of the time we keep the conversation light and flirty. At one point Quinn tells me of a pickup line some guy from her class used on her this morning ("Hey, baby, if you were my homework I'd do ya on the table.") and we laugh until our bellies hurt. I ask her if I had used that, would it have worked, and she said probably not before, but now, definitely. Then I ask her for his name and which class it was, but she refuses to give me the name. I almost mention her wanting Finn's address after she found out he kissed me, but then I decide not to bring that up. Which is probably a good idea.

We're working through the cherry pie when Quinn gets a phone call. She takes out her phone and stares at her screen for a long time with a frown. "Who is it?" I ask.

"I don't know," she says and sets it on top of the blanket, near the pie. "Probably nobody important."

"Pick up," I urge her. It vibrates on the ground, but she doesn't even bother looking at it.

"But I'm hanging out with you. They can leave a message." She grins at me and cleans some of the cherry filling from the side of my mouth and licks it off her thumb, just like she had earlier. By this point, I know she knows what she's doing. I lick my lips and curse myself for getting her the sandwich with the bacon. She's pushing to see how long I'll resist before kissing her senseless even though she just ate pork.

"Okay, fine."

She still has a grin on her face, almost child-like, when she asks, "what time are we going to the museum?" The phone goes silent for a second but then starts ringing again. She moves it aside and we start packing things back into the basket. Her orchids go inside as well and keep the lid from closing all the way.

"In about half an hour or so if we want to go back to campus and leave the basket there," I tell her.

"I'm lying down then." She does so, and the breeze blows her hair for a moment. Then she nudges me and I snuggle close to her. Her phone vibrates once this time and when she checks it, it shows she has a new voicemail.

"Must be important," I remark and I feel her pull me closer. My head rests on her left shoulder and her hand finds my hair to caress it. With her free hand she fumbles for her phone and checks her voicemail.

I stay quiet and busy myself with running my hand up and down her slender neck. She giggles when my lips tickle on her neck lightly and says, "It's Erica."

Who the hell is Erica? My lips stop their movement up her jawline so I can think, and apparently so do my hands because she bumps me with the shoulder under my head and makes eye contact. She smiles reassuringly, so I go back to caressing her neck. I play with the fuzzy, soft hair on her nape and use my nose to tickle that spot on her neck.

Finally the voicemail is over and she moves just a tad bit to be able to put her phone away and look me in the eyes. "Erica, the secretary of the LGBT club. You remember her - she hosted the Coffee House Event." Oh. "She got my number from Kurt. She wants to know if I'm interested in being in a video the LGBT club is putting together to fight against bullying and to let other teens know that it's okay to be gay and that it gets better. She says I'd be real good for it because they want people to see that there isn't a specific look for being gay or lesbian. And I just so happen to be hot, popular, and a cheerleader."

This is starting to sound really exciting actually, "that's real neat! Are you going to do it?"

She shrugs, I feel it beneath me, "I don't see why not. It's kind of awesome, right? I'd feel a lot more useful than for just splits and cheers. Though, I personally think that Santana's story is much better than mine... She said if I knew anyone -"

"Noooo. She's not going to want to do it," I warn her before she gets excited about the idea.

"But, baby, you're always pushing her to move on past what happened. Maybe this would be really good for her."

"Babe. Seriously, no. She'll be so upset if you even bring it up."

She groans and then concedes, "fine. But it would've been great for her."

"Yeah, maybe," I admit. "Okay. How about this. If she comes up to you and tells you about her story, then you can bring up this video."

She chuckles, "that's so not fair. She's never going to do it."

"You never know, she might just surprise you." I make a face at her and then smile. She gets distracted by something on my face. I check with my hand to see if it's food leftover but she just smiles.

Her index finger starts to poke on the spot where my dimple is. I try to keep my smile from growing, but the more she pokes me, the more it grows. "You're so adorable and sexy at the same time."

"Are you really quoting Crazy, Stupid, Love on me?"

With an unperturbed, aloof face she says, "more like paraphrasing, really." We stare at each other and burst into giggles.

"Give me your hand." I demand.

She raises an eyebrow questioningly but doesn't say anything even though I know that she's basically thinking, 'Where the hell are you going to put my hand in public, Berry?' I giggle because I can practically hear her saying my last name in the authoritative tone her voice can get sometimes.

I press her fingers together but open her hand and place it on top of my chest, right above my racing heart. "Do you feel that?" I ask her quietly. Her eyes are trained on our hands, mine holding her in place.

She barely nods. I kiss her cheek, leave a soft peck. Then I move up and leave a lingering kiss on her temple. She closes her eyes at the feeling and I slowly bring my head down so my mouth is level to her ear.

"That's how fast my heart beats for you. That's how fast it's been beating since I woke up this morning. Because every time I think of you, it takes off. And I've been thinking of you since I woke up and you were in my bed. If things stay this way, I'm going to need to go to the hospital and that's soon."

The breeze picks up slightly, and I see her shiver. I don't know if it has to do with the wind or with what I just told her, but she shakes her head and licks her lips, "If that were the case, Berry," she starts and I smirk because it sounds just like it does in my head, "I would've been in the hospital a long time ago. Do you know how many times I've died because of you?"

I brush some of her bangs off her eyes. Who cares about the bacon?

"I still cannot believe we're here."

"Babe, you wanted to come... so I got it done." I wink at her and playfully slap her butt before walking behind her to the other side of the room.

She looks awkwardly around, blushing heavily, and after realizing that no one else cares, she comes to where I am, "how did you manage this again?"

"I told you - I have my ways."

"Tell me," she whines. There's movement behind her and I look, just for a second, distracting her too. When she turns back around to look at me, I'm moving on to the next piece.

She groans and comes closer while I laugh. "Sometimes you're a little annoying."

"It was Mr. Guerra, baby." I inform her. "You know... he's respected in his line of work or whatever." I pull her into my arms and she only resists for a second before wrapping her arms around me.

"I love these dates the best."

I try to hike an eyebrow as well as she does at her statement but I fail badly. I try to ignore it but she giggles and gives me a kiss on the cheek, "which dates?" I want to clarify.

"The dates where you take me to a museum and I get to be surrounded by art with you." Her eyes are pouring out love and joy.

I look at her and smile, "good thing we have lots of other museums to visit."

"Oh, shit."

"You know how turned on I get when you start to speak intelligent things."

"But, oh." Her face contorts in pleasure before she dives back down to my neck, "We're still in the museum. We could so get caught."

I giggle, my eyes trained on the ceiling above us. It's dark where we are, but it wouldn't have mattered because I can't see anything with how much I'm feeling. "Tell me that doesn't make this hotter," I challenge her.

She doesn't stop kissing me as her lips move across my collarbone to my right shoulder, pulling on my shirt roughly down to plant open mouthed kisses. "Yeah, it does." She says, her voice low and drenched in lust.

My hand makes its way up her dress, in her panties and she doesn't try to stop me. My other hand is grabbing her hair viciously, my desire growing when I feel how wet she is for me. Her hips thrust forward. "Did - Did I mention how much I love your hair short like this?" I pull her head up and our fiery gazes meet, burning even in the dark of this secluded spot we found.

She lunges forward, taking my bottom lip between her teeth, and I almost yelp in pain, but it comes off as a moan of pleasure. She smiles against my lips, "yes. Yes, you have."

She's hugging me from behind, arms wrapped right below my breasts. Her head is hidden in the crook of my neck. "I told you people would know."

I laugh, "stop hiding. Nobody can tell. They're not even looking at us." We're standing in front of my personal favorite of the night. She carefully raises her head and looks around, making sure I'm right. "See? Not one person."

I feel her exhale, "You can get quite loud," she says.

"What?" I spin in her arms and she starts to laugh. "I didn't - not this time. I was - I -"

"Oh. Gotcha. So worth it though. You should see your face right now. Red as a beet."

I bring my hands to my cheeks to feel how warm I am. "So mean." I comment, before huffing and falling back into her arms.

She giggles against my neck again and says, "You started it."

"Wait! What did I do this time?" I ask, grabbing her by the hand and directing us to another painting.

She makes an unbelieving sound and says, "you think I don't know you were secretly laughing at my embarrassment?"

I refuse to admit it, maybe just to prolong this silly moment, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You started it!" She hisses in my ear with a laughing bubbly voice. Happy.

"You sound like you're five." I tell her.

She yanks me. Hard. I stop walking and look at her narrowing gorgeous hazel at me. In all seriousness she speaks, "Five and a half."

"So mature," I mumble and stick my tongue out at her.

"Wait. What?" We're walking back to campus, hand-in-hand. I'm on the phone with Kurt because he sent me a text asking if he could call. He's explaining something about Finn. Yes, he's back on the scene. It hasn't even been a full month and Finn's already giving me a headache.

"Rach, he seems pretty down. Said he dropped out of college. He actually wants to move to LA and try the whole acting scene there, but he called me and asked if he could come visit me in NY first."

"So if he wants to come to NY to visit you, he can." I tell him. I shiver because it got a little bit chilly now that it's nighttime. Quinn tries to give me as much privacy as she can while I'm on the phone but there's only so far she can go before it starts to look like we're not together.

Kurt sighs and I can hear him shift in bed, probably running a nervous hand through his hair, "I just wanted to make sure with you... make sure you'd be okay."

"I won't be seeing him. I don't give a fuck if he comes up here, Kurt."

"Well, he'll be here for the play's premiere and he - he'll be in the audience."

I laugh, more like a cackle really, "That'll be fun."

Quinn ventures a look my way and I try to give her a reassuring smile but it comes off more like a grimace. "So you'll be okay?"

"Sure," I promise.

"And what about Quinn?" He asks, concerned for her as well. "Santana was with me and Britt when he called - she looked like she was going to have a heart attack. Actually, thinking about it, maybe you should go speak to her."

"Kurt - I - I know he's your brother and everything, but sometimes he's a fucking idiot."

"I know, babe. I promise I'll do my best to keep him and you away from each other."

"Make sure that you keep him away from Quinn, too. If I hear that he's even in the same room -"

"No worries. I promise."

After that I tell him I have to go. We are in front of Quinn's dorm. She's looking at the ground, wrinkled head and a pensive look in her eyes.

"Don't do that." I say, "don't frown like that." My thumb massages between her eyes and she relaxes. "He's not a threat anymore, remember? He never was." I guarantee her.

"I know, that's not it." She says.

I dip my head just enough so she's forced to look me in the eyes, "what is it then?"

She sighs, "I'm honestly so much more concerned for Santana than for myself."

At this I have to shake my head to clear my thoughts, "well, you know, she can hold her own with him."

"I just think that she's been always resorting to the biting remarks and you know where that got her... If she did the video - she'd have to deal with the feelings."

"Quinn -"

"I know, I shouldn't bring it up, but... maybe you can. Or at least mention the video in passing. Plant the seed, you know? That way she will come to me."

I consider what she's proposing. Okay, so maybe Santana would get pissed for a while, but it's not like she can deny she likes girls any longer. I mean, she's pretty blatant about it and she's dating a girl. But talking about it for everyone to hear? And then having to face the guy who basically forced her out of the closet? On the other hand, she has to deal with these feelings. She has to talk about them. She will have to face him. Maybe being involved in a project where she'll see there are others like her will do her good.

"Okay." I give in. Quinn's eyes dart all over my face for confirmation.

"Okay?"

"Okay!" I shriek. She laughs and picks me up in a hug.

I try to look stern when I tell her, "But if she says no, we drop it, okay?"

She nods, "okay! Oh this will be so great! Let me know as soon as you talk to her because I'll have to call Erica and ask her more details."

Speaking of Erica, "speaking of Erica -" I start.

"Yeah?"

"You think she pretty?" I ask, faking a frown, but really wondering. Because I remember landing eyes on her the day of the event and thinking about how beautiful she was.

She sounds casual and says, "yeah, pretty, whatever. I find her pretty like I find Sam pretty, you know?" Then she touches my cheek softly with the tip of her fingertips, "But I find you beautiful, gorgeous, cute, adorable and sexy." We laugh at the movie reference again and I let it go.

I interlock our fingers, "You up for some more hot sex?" I ask, grinning.

"Am I ever."

Turns out there is no hot sex happening. Because it turns out Mary isn't out tonight. Turns out Mary and Jake broke up. So Quinn and I are sitting on her bed, while Mary's head is buried under a pillow. "Mary," Quinn coaxes softly, "It'll be okay, you know?"

We hear hiccups. It seems like Mary is trying to say something but neither Quinn nor I can figure out what it is. Eventually she gives up and drops the tissue in her hand to the floor. I grimace but decide to let it go.

"Mar... I'm sure Jake's a great guy but there'll be others out there for you." I try to make her feel better.

This seems to make her stop crying. She squirms in bed and then turns, her hands are the only thing not being covered by fabric.

"What do we do?" Quinn asks in my ear, as quietly as she can.

"Maybe we could call everyone and, you know, watch a movie here."

Quinn sighs, "yeah, that sounds good. How about you call everyone and I'll help Mary to wash her face and order the pizza?"

"Kay," I say and drop a peck on her lips before standing up to make the calls out in the hallway.

Kurt and Blaine, Santana and Britt, Mike and Tina, and even Sam Evans and Mercedes (they were with Mike and Tina) show up all about the same time. Quinn and I realize most of our friends are couples and that Mary probably only knows Santana and Britt. After introductions, we all gather round in a circle and start playing some game Sam is trying to teach us with cards.

The pizza arrives soon after, and so we all stop to eat. Mary keeps quiet most of the time, but she's not crying obnoxiously like earlier.

It's in the moment between card-playing and movie-choosing that San and I exchange looks. I can see that she's worried. I get up from Quinn's lap on her chair and walk out the door. There isn't even the need to call Santana because she knows.

"How are you?" I ask her, when she closes the door behind her. I'm sitting on the floor and before she responds, she sits next to me and drops her head on my shoulder. My arm automatically wraps around her.

"Well, you know. Considering I just found out the person I most hate in the world is coming down -"

I tighten my hold, "It wasn't so bad in Lima, you know? He only even acknowledged you because you attacked him first. Maybe if you try to keep from making comments at him, he won't even look your way."

She's thinking. I can tell by the way she frowns, "It's one thing to see him in Lima but I feel like here... this was my sacred place. Away from memories and bad shit from there." I know she's not talking about me but it still hurts a little bit. I try not to make it about me though, but she hastily adds, "Except for you and Kurt, Rach. Seriously."

"I get it. Listen," I take in a deep breath, "You know he'll be at the play for the premiere to watch Kurt, so you don't have to go. I won't be upset or an-" Before I have the change to finish speaking she puts a hand up.

"Don't even think about it, Rachel. I'll be there."

I smile softly. I'm glad she'll still be attending, I just hope things don't get out of hand. "And you'll be okay?"

"I honestly can't tell you that until then, but..." She trails off and shrugs as a response. I get it.

This is my in. "Hey, guess what? Quinn got a call from Erica today."

She purses her lip, clearly trying to remember Erica. I know the feeling. "Who's... Erica?"

I giggle softly, "she's the secretary of the LGBT club. The girl -"

"Oh! Okay, yeah! I know who she is. Hot." She grins. Then she frowns quickly and says, "Damn."

"It's okay, San. Britt won't care. You still have eyes."

"So, what did Erica want?"

"She left a voicemail asking Quinn if she'd be interested in being in a video to help other LGBT teens understand that it gets better and all that good stuff. She wants a variety of girls and boys because the club wants it to show how lesbians and gays don't have a specific 'look,' I guess."

She makes a 'hmm' noise and it kind of surprises me how she's not freaking out yet. "That's awesome. Is Quinn going to do it?"

"I think so, yeah." I say, rubbing my hand up and down her arm.

She's quiet for another moment, "hey, I don't know if I've ever told you this but... Quinn's really good to you. And I'm sorry for not supporting it from the beginning."

I smile and look up, thinking about the hazel-eyed girl with the soft blonde hair on the other side of the wall. "Yeah, I know. And it's okay, you know? You were trying to protect me."

"Just like you probably tried to protect me when Quinn asked you to speak to me about this video, right?"

"How did you know?" I ask, surprised and taken aback.

She laughs quietly, "ah, you know. I have my ways. Also, I can read you really well."

It's still weird how she knows but I admit it anyway, "yeah. So do you think you will do it? Do you feel like you can?"

The small smile she had on her lips dies down. "I think - well, I."

"Hey, you don't have to. It'd just be really good for you." I look her in the eyes and tell her with all the confidence and assurance I can. "Quinn thinks that it'll help you... deal."

"Maybe I should give it a try, you know? Do you think it'll help with all this pent-up anger I still feel, despite of being out?"

I smile, happy that Quinn insisted on this. "Yeah, I really think so."

San and I are still in the hallway talking when everyone else gets out of the room, except for Mary.

"She got a call from Jake," Mike explains.

"She was smiling within ten seconds, so we all decided it was best if we left." Tina adds, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Sam raises a hand at everyone and grabs Mercedes', "I had fun, guys. Thanks for the invite." Mercedes throws everyone a kiss and they leave.

Tina and Mike are next to go.

Quinn is standing idly in front of her door, with her arms crossed and a worried look.

"Why do you look worried?" I ask her and pat the space on the other side of me for her to sit. Britt's snuggling into Santana already, so now there are four girls hugging each other on the floor.

She shrugs, "I worry about my friends a lot sometimes." She points behind her at the door.

I giggle and lift my arm so she can fit in next to me better. I have my two favorite girls under my arms, and Britt is pretty special too. "Can I get a kiss here?" I try to use the arm I have around her to point at my mouth, but it doesn't work. She laughs and gives me the kiss anyway.

Santana growls, "Berry, really?"

"Oh, shut up, Santana. You were just telling me about your unconditional, dying love for Quinn here." I joke.

Quinn perks up and Santana huffs. Britt giggles. "I love her unconditionally." It's probably the longest word I've ever heard Britt say but whatever.

"Do you really now, San?" Quinn asks Santana with a mocking voice. Santana's burning red - out of embarrassment or anger, I can't quite tell yet. Then she looks at Britt and says, "I love you unconditionally too, B."

"Fuck you all," Santana says. I can feel her smile against my shoulder though, so I laugh.

The three of them start laughing, too. Quinn speaks through a loud snort, which only makes me love her more. "I think you guys are all a little bit insane. That's okay, right?"

"I think it's good we're all a little weird. What fun would it be if we weren't?" I say.

"Weird is definitely good, right, baby?" Brittany asks.

"Right, Britt-Britt. I actually really love you girls." She admits and then groans for a long time. "I can't believe I said that!" She's the first to stand and extends a hand at Britt to help her get up. "I'll catch you two later. Quinn, we'll talk about the video sometime this week. I have to walk this one home." She smiles, a little shy, but her eyes are thankful.

I nod at her and blow her a kiss and Quinn salutes her, "See ya."

"You talked to her!" Is the first thing Quinn says when they're out of sight.

I pull her closer, wrapping my other arm around her now that it's free and interlocking my own fingers. Her hand finds it's way across my stomach and rests on my waist. "I did. She actually figured it out without me actually having to spell it out for her."

Quinn gently presses her nose against my cheek and moves it back and forth. I close my eyes, "I like it when you actually do the things I ask."

"Cute," I remark.

She giggles, "do you know what time is it?" She asks through a yawn.

"Probably close to midnight or one now. Want me to walk you back?" I ask.

She laughs, "oh yeah, because I'm so far." She says sarcastically.

I ponder for a while and then suggest, "walk with me then? It's Friday. No classes tomorrow so we can stay all night up... talking." We laugh. "I can text Santana and tell her to crash at Britt's."

"Okay. Let me just make sure Mary's alright. I'll be right back."

She stands and I watch her as she disappears on the other side of the door. I send Santana a text.

Rach: Could I bribe you to stay at Britt's tonight?

San: don't have to ask me twice.

Rach: Good night, San. Love you.

San: night, Rachel. Don't push it (love you too).

I smile and put the phone away. I run a hand through my hair, arm propped up on my bent knee and wait.

Quinn comes back out with her bag and a book, "ready." She says and holds out her hand at me. I hold onto it and let her pull me up and we walk back to mine like that.


	22. La Vie En Rose (Louis Armstrong)

Rachel's been out with Santana for a while. They left quietly and I'm sure the others hadn't even noticed it until Britt asked if anyone knew where Santana was. I told her that she was out in the hallway with Rachel and she just smiled and went back to explaining to the group the difference between a ballad and a mallard.

We're halfway through the second round in Uno, and I'm realizing just how odd my group of friends is, when Mary gets a phone call. "It's Jake," she informs the room.

It gets incredibly quiet until Sam (of all people) goes, "dude! Pick up!"

"Yeah, we can go out in the hallway," Tina says. Mary looks around and everyone's faces are expectant for her.

She breathes out and looks at me, "Quinn?"

"Definitely. Pick up. We'll be right there - just, call me back in here if you... Need me." It comes out awkward and brittle but I mean it all.

She exhales out a shaky, nervous breath and I see her eyes already form tears. We all wait to see her reaction to his voice. "Hey, Jake." She says softly. He says something rushed but it must be funny because she lets out a teary laugh. She looks at me with shiny eyes and nods happily, so we take it as a hint to go.

Britt hugs her and is the first one out of the door. Santana and Rachel are sitting on the floor, backs to the wall. Rachel has Santana in her arms, and it looks like they've moved on from the Finn topic. I wonder silently if Rachel brought up the video topic.

The both of them are staring at the lot of us wondering why we're out here.

"She got a call from Jake," Mike explains.

"She was smiling within ten seconds, so we all decided it was best if we left." Tina adds, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Sam raises a hand at everyone and grabs Mercedes', "I had fun, guys. Thanks for the invite." Mercedes throws everyone a kiss and they leave.

Tina and Mike are next to go.

I'm standing in front of the door, still concerned for my once estranged roommate turned good friend. My face must show because now there are three faces (Britt's on the other side of Santana, hugging her too) looking at me wondering what I'm doing.

Rachel's head tilts slightly down, like it always happens when she's curious and asks, "Why do you look worried?" she invites me to sit next to her with a pat to the ground. I sit, immediately finding comfort in the way her right arm spreads out over my shoulders and wraps me into their little love thing going on.

"I worry about my friends a lot sometimes," I tell her with a shrug.

It's a strange sensation to feel like I actually belong with these girls on the floor (and Mary, too), in a different way than I do with my cheerleaders, or ever did with my friends from high school.

Sometimes Rachel asks about my friends from back home - with the exception of Britt and Mike - and why I never talk about them. And that's it. It's because I'm not that attached to them. I never felt like they were true friends. More like frienemies ready to take over if I tumbled from the top of the pyramid - metaphorically and literally. I think it's funny that it took me two years in college to find real friends and I have a feeling that even though I just met them a few months ago, they are true people - people I can count on. So, yes, I worry for these people easily.

Rach giggles and fixes herself so I can mold against her better. I exchange a look with Britt from across our two loves - best friends - and we both smile shily, understanding the other's hearts.

"Can I get a kiss here?" Rachel asks, breaking my eye contact with Britt. Making effort to point to jer mouth with the same arm around me, she points at her mouth. It fails but it makes me laugh just because she's so damn adorable. I kiss her.

"Berry, really?"

Rachel doesn't even seem bothered by her when she says, "Oh, shut up, Santana. You were just telling me about your unconditional, dying love for Quinn here." She's smiling though, so I know this is one of those moments when they're joking with each other by pushing each other's buttons.

I perk up, interested in knowing if it is actually true. Santana huffs loudly and impatiently and Britt says with a giggle, "I love her unconditionally." It makes me smile. I love Britt's mind and how... Easy it just all is.

"Do you really now, San?" I provoke Santana further, but good-heartedly. Santana is so red already. I don't know if it has to do with anger or embarrassment but I think it could just be that she's busted for liking me. "I love you unconditionally too, B," I tell my beautiful friend, knowing she knows I mean it.

Santana, instead of using pretty words says, "Fuck you all." When Rachel starts to laugh I understand that this Santana's way of admitting to everything that just happened and that she doesn't like it that we can tell (but maybe she does a little bit). Santana and Britt have joined in on the laughing, and now there are four girls hugging and laughing like maniacs in the hallway. I silently pray no one passes by but at the same time I do because I want someone else to witness just how great this moment is.

Before I can help it, I snort. This makes Rachel laugh harder and Santana and Britt's laughter gets louder. "I think you guys are all a bit insane. That's okay, right?" I ask them when I can speak through all the noise.

"I think it's good we're all a little weird. What fun would it be if we weren't?" Rachel says, and I love the face she makes at me. I'm sure nobody else sees it but it makes me giggle silently.

"Weird is definitely good, right, baby?" Brittany asks Santana, tugging at her arm.

"Right, Britt-Britt. I actually really love you girls." It's an admittance but it comes with a groan of regret. "I can't believe I said that!" This gives her the perfect excuse to leave so she gets up and pulls Britt up too. I think it's mostly because she has to "keep appearances" more than she actually wants to leave. "I'll catch you two later. Quinn, we'll talk about the video sometime this week. I have to walk this one home." Video! Video! That's awesome news! Means my girlfriend was listening and talked to her about it!

Rachel nods and blows her a kiss which Santana makes a face to (but Britt catches it) and I salute her. "See ya."

I can't contain my excitement when they are gone, "You talked to her!"

She wraps both arms around me to hold me closer. "I did. She actually figured it out without me actually having to spell it out for her."

I nuzzle her cheek and she closes her eyes. I joke, "I like it when you actually do the things I ask."

"Cute." She replies, and I giggle.

She giggles, "do you know what time is it?" I yawn, unable to contain just how tired I am.

"Probably close to midnight or one now. Want me to walk you back?" She asks.

I laugh and then add sarcastically, "oh yeah, because I'm so far." We're literally sitting three feet away from my door.

She thinks for a bit and then suggests, "walk with me then? It's Friday. No classes tomorrow so we can say all night up... talking. I can text Santana and tell her to crash at Britt's."

There's no need to think, "Okay. Let me just make sure Mary's alright. I'll be right back."

I go back inside of my room, and find Mary sitting in bed with her legs crossed. Her eyes are still blood-shot and puffy from crying but she's still smiling. The phone is propped between her cheek and shoulder and she's looking at a magazine. "Hey," she says to me. Then to Jake she explains, "oh, no. Quinn just came back inside."

"Sorry," I whisper at her. "I just wanted to make sure you are good before I go to Rach's." I tell her and she smiles softly.

"That's so sweet. But yes, I'm totally fine. So go to Rach's and get you sexy time on, eh?" She winks at me and laughs. "Yeah. Yeah, she's super cool." She mouths a 'really,' to me and keeps talking to Jake, "I can't believe you haven't met her yet. What? No, she's like perfect for Quinn." I nod then and grab my duffle bag and a book to read tomorrow afternoon while snuggling with Rachel.

I wave at Mary from the door and find Rachel waiting where I left her. "Ready," I announce. I offer her my hand and she takes it. I pull her up and she takes my bag from my shoulder. I narrow my eyes at her, "I can take that."

She says, "just let me." Our fingers interlock. I huff but don't argue with her on it. She laughs, "don't give me the pouty lips. Though they are deliciously cute. Can't I offer to carry my girlfriend's things for her?"

It's a rhetorical question so I just say, "thanks." Then I think of what Mary was talking about with Jake, "So! Wanna hear what Mary was talking about?"

"Yes!" She hurries out.

"It's about you," I warn her with playfulness.

This only spurs her on, "do tell! Was it good? Was it bad?"

"Oh my. I don't know how sometimes I forget who you are." She flips her hair behind her shoulder and waits. "Right! She was telling him that you're perfect for me."

"Oh. I definitely agree." She smiles, all teeth and pretty pink lips. "And I love you!" She says.

"And I you."

I wake up freezing cold in the middle of the night. Rachel stole all of the covers. She usually does that, and I'm okay for most nights, but for some reason, I'm cold tonight. I roll over once and spoon Rachel from behind. She is literally kissing the wall; her lips, nose and forehead are touching the wall. "Babe -" I whisper softly in her ear, but she doesn't wake. "Babe," I try again, shaking her lightly.

This seems to work, "hmm," she barely turns her face to me, but her eyes are still closed.

"You did it again," I say. "I'm cold. Will you let me in here, please?" I tug on the sheets bunched up around her arms. She opens them, not without effort.

With a concerned tone she asks, "Are you sick?" Her eyes search my face in the dark.

I chuckle lowly, "no, just cold - so do I get in there or what?"

She gasps, "Sorry! I'm sorry," she repeats groggily and unrolls the blankets. She gets stuck and we both laugh quietly. When she finally manages to cover the both of us, she asks, "good, baby?"

I love the way her voice sounds rich with sleep. Then again, I love the sound of her voice, period. Her hands are closed, placed between our bodies, right under her chin - I can feel it against my chest. I wrap her up and she settles under my chin, "Perfect." I feel the warmth of her body plus blanket slowly take over mine and fall asleep again.

Apparently, Rachel turned while we slept. When I wake up, her ass is backed up tightly into my front. My hand is spread open on her stomach, under the shirt. My right arm is stretched above our heads. Her left hand is on top of mine, holding it in place. Legs tangled.

I can tell she's waking up by the way she yawns silently and sighs. "Morning." I say.

"Mm, morning." She tightens her hold and her body, and I hug her back.

"Why are you up so early?" I ask.

"Don't know. Are you sick? You were cold, right?"

"Right," I agree, "but, no, not sick. You know I have an amazing immune system."

She laughs, "I stole the covers, then."

"That is true." I start making circles with my thumb on her waist.

"Sorry."

"You already apologized, gorgeous." My alarm goes off. "Time to get up." I tell her.

She whimpers, "no. Stay today."

I wish I could but, "I can't. I have to go. Remember how I got in trouble for being late last time?" I irk an eyebrow and she remembers because she laughs.

"I know," She admits, sad again. "But I wish you didn't have to." She slowly turns to face me. "Will you be back soon?"

"I can definitely arrange to come back here after practice," I promise with a smile.

She hums delighted, "Please, do."

"And you'll be here?"

"I have a quick meeting with Will at 9, but then I'll be right back and waiting for you." Her voice drops significantly and I smirk at what she's implying.

Reluctantly, I get up, eyeing her and she doesn't shy away from my look. I drop a quick (as chaste as I possibly can) kiss on her closed lips and change.

Practice is excruciatingly slow. One, because I've got Rachel's promise in the back of my mind, and my body's more than ready. I'm super wet just thinking about the things her talented, talented tongue do. Two, since classes are so close to being over, my cheer girls aren't working as hard. They have other things in their heads, like projects and exams.

I end practice thirty minutes early and clearly see their eyes thank me.

Coach Sylvester calls me into her office and I think she's going to yell at me for ending practice without her permission, but instead she welcomes me with a, "I want this Santana Lopez in our squad."

I'm thrilled about this because that means she really values my opinion and talent. I nod, "yeah, of course. She's great."

"Give her one of our spare uniforms and tell her to come to practice this week, just so I can get a feel of how she interacts with our cheerleaders and if she can follow directions. If she does well, we'll have her in the squad next semester for sure and order her uniform."

"You got it. You will not regret your decision." I reassure her.

"How come I haven't heard of this girl until now?" Coach narrows her eyes at me and motions for me to sit down.

I sit and place my hands on my knees, leaning forward, "She wasn't interested but Rachel convinced her to do it."

"Rachel? Your girlfriend, isn't that right?"

"Yeah." I smile, not caring who I'm talking to. I'm smitten and it shows.

She huffs, and says, "Well, at least she's smart. But tell me about Santana's high school squad."

I perk up, very happy to oblige. "Coach, she was their captain for the two years before she quit. Their squad - the Cheerios - have been National Champs for the past 7 years, consecutively, in the high school level. To say they are good is an understatement. They're amazing, and she's really good. Has perfect dismount, perfect form, and she's absolutely gorgeous."

"Well, it's settled then." She fumbles around her desk for a while and then pulls out a large, white envelop from under a leather-bound journal. "Here," she hands it over to me. "You've deserved this for a while, Q." I look up at her and see what it looks like pride swimming in her eyes. It's only there for a while because she catches herself and straightens up her back.

"What is it?" I ask and turn it in my hands.

"Second-year Captain privileges. You get your own room at the upperclassmen cheerleader housing. The room comes with a queen sized bed, and includes a bathroom, just for you. The house has a cook who comes in every day and a maid who comes in twice a week. Your laundry will get picked up every Friday and will be returned every Monday, for free, but I recommend you tip the bastards or they'll stain your clothes on purpose. These papers include the information and all you have to do is sign this contract saying you're not going to do anything stupid like drugs or alcohol, and then when you come back from summer vacation for cheer camp, I'll hand you over the keys to the house and the room."

I'm walking back to Rachel's elated. I got Santana her spot on the squad, got new housing - for free,- and got Coach to compliment my girlfriend all in one morning. That has me feeling pretty good about myself. Now, I get to see my girlfriend and... yeah, life is good.

I knock and knock and knock. When she opens the door, she smiles as wide as I am. "Hey!" She throws herself at me, and I hold her up as she wraps her legs around me. I walk in, my hands finding her ass, and close the door with one of my legs.

"Hi," I say, smirking against her lips.

"You look happy."

"I am happy."

She chuckles and moves her face away to look me in the eyes, "practice went well, then?"

"Very." I take her lips with mine again, and she moans. "I've been thinking about you all morning."

"Good thing because I've been thinking about you, too and I was thinking you should fuck me with the strap-on."

Pools of desire form and I don't need to be told twice.

I'm behind her, thrusting deep and hard. She is whimpering with her face on the soft, white sheets, and gripping onto the bed as hard as she can. "Fuck, fuck."

My hands are holding onto her waist, pulling her in and pushing. The motion is delicious and so is she. Slowly I drag my hands up her sweaty back, feel the contour of her spine and then thread my right fingers into her hair. I pull her head back, "you like this, huh."

"So much." She doesn't take long to respond. I keep moving, even though I've slowed down a bit.

"You know how much I want you?" I ask her.

She bites her bottom lip and nods urgently, "yeah."

I let her go and she falls back down. I slap her left butt cheek playfully and it gets red for a few seconds. I start to pump and thrust harder, her tits bouncing every time. "Good." I tell her. She chuckles when I hit the particularly special spot and then moans, low and sensual. One of her hands travels down to start circling her clit while I hammer into her, but I slap it away and tell her, "I want you to scream my name when you come. You know how much I love that, right, baby?"

"Mmmhm." She strains to say. Her eyes narrow and then bulge open when I wet my fingers with my tongue and start to make tight circles on her clit. She shakes visibly and then makes a small satisfied noise. I keep going, harder and faster. Sometimes she tries to move my hand away but I have the advantage and keep going until she's coming. "Quinn! Oh - shit. Sh- fuckk. So good."

Then I let her move my hand away and pull out of her. She drops on the bed completely wasted, with her back glistening against the light in the room and I let myself fall next to her.

"Damn it, you're so fucking good at that."

"And you're so hot when you come like that." I kiss her on the lips and then suck on her top lip before letting to with a small pop. She pulls me back in by the neck and I growl.

She says in my ear, "take this off," and tugs the strap-on. We both hurry to undo it and when it's off she pulls me up. "I want you right here," she tells me and points to her mouth.

"I'd really appreciate it if I came home sometimes and you two didn't look like you just spent the day morning fucking." Santana says when she comes in and looks at Rachel and I. We're both in bed, although we're dressed. Well, I am dressed in sweats and a gray shirt. Rachel is in her underwear.

"It'd be nice if you came home sometimes and simply said 'hey, guys' as a way to greet us but - that's not happening any time soon, so." Rachel uses her smart-ass voice and sticks her tongue out at her.

"Whatever," Santana mumbles and starts to get some stuff ready for a shower.

"I have good news," I tell her, getting up from behind Rachel and dropping my book on the bed.

She bends to pick up something from the bottom drawer, "yeah?"

"And -" I open my arms wide to grab Rachel's attention, too, "I propose a small road trip tomorrow morning to celebrate!"

Rachel has been waiting to hear the good news too because I told her earlier I'd only tell when both she and Santana were back. Just for drama. I know how much she appreciates drama. She instantly gets excited, "yes! Celebration! But what for again?"

"How about this? Just the four of us, right? You, me, your annoying roommate -"

"Hey!"

"-And her beautiful girlfriend? We can go to Fire Island, and spend the day there."

"I'm going to let Rachel ask this because your stupid ass grin is already pissing me off," Santana says, half on edge and half excited to know.

Rachel nods, taking her job seriously. "But why are we celebrating again?"

I stick up my index finger, "ah ha! Right!" I say as if I'd forgotten. I haven't. "Well, I got S that spot in the squad." I say it casually.

It doesn't seem like a big deal but Coach is very strict about who comes in and who doesn't. It's a lifelong process almost (not really) and she has to personally invite you.

Rachel shrieks and jumps up out of bed, rushing to Santana, "You got it!"

"Well, I got her it, but whatever." I say joking.

Santana looks at me from over Rachel's shoulder, who is still enveloping her in a big bear hug. She asks, "really?"

"Really, Santana. Well, you have to pass her one-week avaliation of you but that doesn't worry me." Rachel lets go and comes to me, hugging me too. "That's not all..." I drag for the suspense.

Rachel's eyes shine, "there's more?" I nod and pull her to sit on my lap as I sit on her desk chair. She cradles my face with her hands and makes me make eye contact. "Tell me!" She demands.

"Tell us-" Santana corrects."

"I got the Second-Year Captain privileges packet today. Basically I get to live in the cheer house in my own room with a bathroom. The house has its own cook and maid... Did I mention I'll get my own room with a queen size bed?" That I tell Rachel and she smirks. "I also get free laundry service." I look at Santana, "apparently to be considered to the house all you have to do is be a junior or senior and be a cheerleader, so maybe the year after next you can move in there."

Santana smiles, "that would be sweet, I won't lie."

Rachel pouts, "Hey! What about me?"

"I'm sure you'll basically live there next year... When Santana moves in that'll just give you more reasons to visit frequently."

She nibbles on her bottom lip, "but then I'd live alone."

"Or you could find a new roommate," I say. "What about Britt, you know?"

"Or like move in with the Wonder Twins and Tina - I hear they're all getting a place next semester." Santana explains. "You totally can afford to live off-campus."

She shrugs and then shakes her head, "well, that's all still one year away, right? So I can figure that out later."

I narrow my eyes at her, "are you upset because in two years San and I get to live together?"

"Well, you're basically stealing mu roommate from me!" She says, hands flying up in the air.

I chuckle and Santana tries to contain a laugh. Rachel looks at both of us with angry eyes, "Don't mock me! My best friend and girlfriend get to live together but what about me?"

"Babe, you'll still be my best friend and her girlfriend." Santana says, softly. "Maybe you could try out for cheerleading?" She can't help it but start laughing before the end of the sentence.

Rachel stands up, "I'm happy for you, baby, I really am." She kisses me and smiles. Then she turns to Santana with a violent look, "funny."

"Thank you," I say, pulling her attention back to me. "And don't worry, you can live under my bed if need be." Everyone laughs. "Oh, by the way, Santana, Erica wants to meet with us tomorrow night. So if we go on that trip we have to be back by 6 pm."

"That's cool by me."

"Which means we'll have to be there by 10 am if we want to enjoy our day."

"In other words, you have to be up by 7 so we can leave in time. I know you, San!"

"Fuck you! I'm going to call Britt before my shower!"

Rachel smiles, "yes! That gives us more time for sex, babe." She laughs when Santana pretends to gag.

We're leaving by 8, which is actually pretty good. Somehow Britt has this effect on Santana and it actually makes her more mellow. We're all packed up into one of Rachel's theater friend's small civic and driving to Fire Island. This is good because we can catch the 9:30 am ferry to the island. I've been there twice. On my freshman year with the cheerleaders, and once last semester with the cheer officers. One of the girl's dad has a house there and he always let us stay there. She let me have the house for today as a congratulatory gift.

"That's so generous of your friend." Rachel says while picking up a bag of snacks from the car's floor, near her feet.

"Yeah. The cheerleaders are pretty cool to me." I open my hand and she gives me a granola bar. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"Are we there yet?" Santana whines from the backseat.

We just left ten minutes ago. I might have overlooked the fact that being in the car with Santana for an extended amount of time might be a little trying of my patience.

"This house is awesome!" Britt yells from upstairs.

"It's just for the day, guys. And all we'll really need it for is for showering. We're gonna go down to the beach and eat at a restaurant. It'll be nice. It's all on me."

Santana whoops loudly from the kitchen where she's going through the fully stocked pantry.

Rachel comes back to the living room with an excited grin, "did you know they have a studio in here? Like, they transformed the third bedroom into a studio!"

I smile and nod, "yeah, I knew, but you're not gonna want to spend all day in there, right?"

"No! Of course not!" She reassures me and gives me a peck on the lips. "I'll just record one song, promise!" She disappears back down the hallway.

Santana is next to me, arms crossed. "So what's the plan today? When do you want me and Britt to get lost so you and Berry can come back and have the house to yourselves?"

I laugh and I can feel myself getting red, "uh, I'll let you know?"

"Sounds good."

"Oh! The water is cold!"

"Stop complaining and just dive in, Berry!"

"It totally warms up if you pee."

"Come on, babe! The water feels soooo good after a while."

She looks at me with a twisted face. I swim to her. "Will it help if I throw you over my shoulder and then drop you in the water?" I raise an eyebrow so she can know I'm serious about this threat. "You won't have any fun if you stay over here by yourself."

She narrows her eyes and then laughs, "you wouldn't though!" She wrinkles her nose when I take a step forward. I'm still in the water but it's only up to my ankle now.

She takes a few steps back and raises both hands to stop me and keep me away. "Go away, Quinn!"

I shake my head, "no can do, babe. I need you in the water with me."

She considers this for a second and then, "nope!"

She looks really adorable in the neon pink bikini, oversized sunglasses and straw hat. It's sunny but the sun isn't that hot yet. I can point out a few spots where her sunscreen hasn't completely been soaked up by her skin yet. "Did you know you look really cute?"

I shake my hair and water sprinkles on her. I take another step forward.

"Thank you," she says graciously, and then she adds, "but don't come any closer."

I chuckle and then warn her but it's under my breath, "you're going to be so mad."

She says, "I'm sorry?" for me to repeat myself and I giggle a little louder.

"I said, you're going to be so mad." And before she has the time to question why, I'm running to her. She yelps and takes off in the direction of the house, standing tall and proud ocean side. There's a deck that leads straight out into the water but also steps that lead to a side door into the kitchen.

She manages to get to the bottom of the steps. I'm laughing and she's desperately yelling, "no! Baby, no! Don't!"

I slow down my run and grab her by the waist. She giggles and squirms. "It's my duty; I just have to." She's frantically beating her legs and hands against me, but it's more playful than painful. The sand scrunches under the weight of my feet as I walk us back to the ocean. Santana has a hand over her eyes and is laughing. Britt is doubling over in amusement.

"Babe-" Rachel tries again. "If you throw me in the water- I swear!" She shrieks when I drop her in. As soon as she's down, I swim away because I just know she's going to attack me. She gaps for air and looks around to find me. When she makes eye contact, she says, "Quinn! Come here!" I hurry to find refuge behind Britt (because I'm not dumb and know that Santana would gladly give me away).

"Come on, Rach! You're already in the water! Enjoy it now!"

She tries to look at me with a determined face but cracks at something happening behind me. When I look, too curious not to, Britt is flailing her arms above her head and she starts to make monkey noises. Santana rolls her eyes but then joins in on the fun. I'm so distracted that I don't notice the tiny trickster come up from behind me and dip me in the water.

We're running up a wooden path, up to the lighthouse. When we reach the door, we try for it and it's locked. "Damn it," I mutter. "Last semester we came here and we made it inside."

She laughs and catches her breath, each hand on a knee.

I make sure she's alright, even though I'm cracking up, and then go around the lighthouse to see if there's anyway we can make it in. I do find a small door and when I push it with enough force, it opens for me. "Hallelujah." I mumble. "Principessa! Come on! I found a way in. Well, you can make it in. Just go in and open the door for me." I explain to her with a smile on my face.

She groans, but does so. She is tiny enough to make it inside and I hear her thud on the floor. "Ouch," she shrieks.

I contain laughter and ask, "are you alright?" Such a klutz, my girl.

I round the lighthouse and make it to the door just as she's opening. "This place isn't very secure." She says. "And I might be a little afraid of how dark it is in here."The windows are all shut, and so light from the sun burning outside only comes in through small spaces at the bottom of each window.

As I step over the threshold, I pull her flush to my body. "I can keep you safe." I promise in her ear. I don't tell her that I'm also a little bit scared, but by the smile that grows on her lips, I know she believes me. I smile back. "Do you trust me?" I ask, leveling my eyes with hers.

She weighs the question in her head, licks her lips, and says, "yeah, I do."

It makes my heart sing with joy. "Come on, let's go upstairs." I take her to the second level, holding her hand, and always looking back as we climb up the stairs to make sure she's still okay.

When we reach the floor, I open the door to the right and we step inside the Watch Room.

"So are you gonna tell me what we're doing here or-" She trails off expecting an answer. She's smiling from the door where she's watching me move around in the space. I find the string hanging from above and turn on the faint light above our heads. It's barely strong enough to light up immediately underneath it but it helps me find what I'm looking for.

"Ah ha! So when I was here last semester, I noticed this room and Clarissa and I decided to check it out. I saw this and, well, I never thought I'd use but the oportunity has presented itself so, it's a must."

I crank the victrola on and it starts to play the record already on it. Louis Armstrong's La Vie En Rose softly starts to fill the air. I look back at her, suddenly shy, and bite my lower lip. She smiles and comes closer. I offer her my hand, "will you dance with me?"

"That's a question I'll never say no to."

"Are you nervous?"

"No, not really."

"Then why are you tapping your fingers and shaking your legs like crazy?"

"Just pay attention on the road, Fabray, or we're gonna be late."

I say, "be nice, San."

She chuckles, "do not call me that. S is more than fine. Lopez is cool. Santana is okay, too. But San is not. Only people who can ever call me that are Britt and Berry, and that's only because she is so flipping annoying about it."

I check the rearview mirror and Rachel and Britt are sleeping, Rachel has her head on Britt's shoulder. "They're so gone. What the hell did you do to Britt?"

She taps on the arm rest on the door then censors herself and smirks, "probably the same thing you did to Rachel."

I'm quiet as I think of it and then grin, "probably." The scenery has the sunset as background and it's a damn beautiful sight. I lift my sunglasses for one second and then drop it on my nose again, "It's beautiful around here, right?"

Santana sighs, "So much better than Ohio with all its nothingness." Her gaze drifts to the right and she watches the view pass.

I turn on the radio and leave it on quietly. Santana and I talk some more about what the meeting later and the video. She tells me some of her story with coming out. She probably assumed that Rachel has told me most of it already anyway, so she only tells me small parts and things that Rachel wasn't able to tell me because she didn't feel them.

"I just fucking hate Finn Hudson so much." I say, when she's done.

"You are preaching to the choir, Q." Her voice drops to a whisper, and she turns up the radio just a tad to ensure Rachel can't hear what she's about to say, "I honestly have no fucking idea why she liked him so much. Did you know I slept with him in high school? This was before Rach and I ever considered being friends." She emphasizes the word 'considered,' probably thinking about how odd it is that they are friends now and how it was such an unfathomable thought back then. "I - she hates remembering that it happened, you know, and I've apologized for it, but still. That's how big of a fucking dick he is. He slept with me for popularity, even though he knew it would hurt her feelings."

I nod, "yeah, she might've mentioned it but I never really wanted to ask."

"Yeah, sensitive subject for all parties involved or some shit like that."

"Yeah, so can we move on?" Rachel's voice. She's awake. I suck some air in through my teeth and Santana clears her throat awkwardly.

I check the mirror again and Rachel's running her hands through her hair. She rubs her eyes next and then places her sunglasses back on. She props her elbows on mine and Santana's seats and comes forward. "Hey, babe. How was your nap?" I attempt to distract her so we don't have to face the wrath of Rachel, but she huffs my attempt away, knowing what I'm doing.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray." She says, seriously.

"Sorry," I apologize.

Santana shakes her head and looks at me, "Wait, your first name is Lucy?" She starts laughing. Loudly. So loud it wakes up Brittany.

Rachel slaps her on the arm hard, "Don't make fun of her name, you asshole!"

I wince for her but remember she was making fun of me so I say, "totally deserved it."

She growls and massages the spot to try to soothe it. It must've hurt extra hard since she is a little bit sunburnt from this trip. "Fuck man. That hurt, you moron."

Britt says, "want me to kiss it better, San?"

I laugh as her face turns red. I raise an eyebrow, questioning her next move. She just looks away, "later, Britt."

Britt smiles, "it's a date then! How far from home are we?"

"Maybe thirty minutes or so," I estimate.

Rachel drops back and yawns, "today was fun. I had fun."

I smile at her through the mirrow, "good. I'm glad."

Santana pipes in, "yeah who would've thought being in a car with you two for hours wouldn't make me wanna kill myself?"

"I love everyone here so I knew it'd be awesome!" Britt is stretching her arms in front of her, eyes fixated on her hands.

"Me, too, Britt!" I say, and laugh. "We should make it a tradition to go there!"

Everyone agrees.

After we drop off Britt and Santana says goodbye, we drop off Rachel in front of hers and Santana's dorm building. I walk her to the door and kiss her goodbye. I haven't actually done this in so long it feels sort of really special. She's on her tippy-toes, hands holding on to my neck. Mine are on the small of her back. "I'll call you when the meeting's over."

"Okay," she says and kisses me on the cheek, reminiscent of our first date. I smile and tell her that. "Today was just really romantic, even though we were with Ms. Grumpy all day. Somehow you made the beach, and the lighthouse, and the shower in that awesome house - all into a really great, romantic day."

I hold onto her hand and run my thumb over her knuckles, "I'm glad you think so. I had a really good time with you."

"Thank you for today, okay?" She asks and kisses my lips again. I lick them when she pulls away and she smirks, "maybe if your meeting doesn't take so long we can have a repeat of what happened in the lighthouse after the dancing." Her nose and cheeks are tinted a slight red from the sun, and it just makes her look even more adorable.

I chuckle, "yeah, you can definitely count me in." I leave a parting kiss before saying, "I really have to go or I'll be late and I can just imagine how much shit I'll get from Santana, even though she is the worst person I know when it comes to punctuality."

"Good night and good meeting."

"See you later," I wave at her as I get in the car.

"I swear I should get paid to watch you and Rachel suck face."

"You weren't being forced to look," I argue.

"Whatever. Let's just go get this done with, alright?"

There is no need to drive to where we're going, but we still have the car and it will save us time so why not? "So, Erica is really nice, and from what we saw at the event James seems to be nice too, so just breathe and you'll be fine." I try to advise her.

She looks at me and says, "as long as there are no cameras tonight yet, I'll be fine." She itches the back of her neck. "I think I'm a little sunburnt."

"I told you to apply sunscreen!"

"Nah, not you. Berry did. And I did apply it!"

"Same thing. I was there when she said it. Does it burn though?"

She shrugs, "not much. It itches a little bit but that's it."

We arrive at the destination. The coffee shop on this side of campus is Rachel's favorite. She always gets me coffee from here. I see Erica and James sitting at a table, facing each other and talking with smiles on their faces. "We're here," I tell her even though she knows. I park the car in front of the big window with the place's logo stamped on it and look at Santana, "ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be!"

We both get out of the car and walk in the coffee place. The door jingles when we come in and someone says, "Welcome!" It smells heavenly, like roasted coffee and vanilla. It reminds me a little bit of Rachel. To our left, Erica and James have noticed us. She stands up first and walks up to us, James following behind.

"Hi!" She greets me and moves in for two air kisses. "Quinn, this is James. And you," she looks at the quiet Latina next to me, "must be Santana! It's a pleasure!" She shakes Santana's hand without really giving her an option.

James offers me his, "I remember both of you." Then he takes Santana's hand too, "very nice to meet you both. Can I offer you guys anything to drink?" He starts making way to the counter.

"I'll have a Charamel Machiatto, please."

"I take a black coffee, thank you." Santana says. I don't think I've ever seen her this polite but maybe it's because she's so scared of this meeting.

He nods and smiles that perfect smile of his and looks at Erica, "same as always? Tea?"

I try to wince but Santana chokes when she tries not to laugh. Erica looks at her, questioningly, "are you alright?"

She inhales deeply, "yeah. I'm alright, thanks." She laughs and looks at me. I can't believe Rachel told her that! I guess I never told her she couldn't tell but still.

I punch her on the upper arm, "you fucking idiot."

"Hey! Blame your girlfriend for telling me."

Erica looks lost, "tell you what?"

I sigh, "I had a bad experience with tea once..."

Erica perks up, interested to listen, "Really?" The conversation flows easily from that topic. When James makes way to us again with the four drinks on a carton, we fill him in. He laughs out loud, his laughter a lot deeper than I imagined it'd be and then apologizes for having so much fun at my expense. If Santana was scared before then, it doesn't show because soon they're showing us ideas for the movie and she's giving her opinions as excited as Rachel gets when we're talking about music.

"I know it'll be hard," James says. He looks next to him at Erica who nods along confidently. The conversation has turned a lot more serious now that it's getting late. "But we've all got a story to tell and yours is really compelling. It can really help you... Move on."

Santana takes a sip of her strong coffee and winces, "Fuck. Yeah, so I've heard. I just wish this could be quick and painless like ripping off band-aid."

"There's healing in the pain." Erica assures. "The hard process is what makes you come out better on the other side - and that's no pun intended." I laugh because it is funny and I just love puns.

James smiles and then his serious face is back on, "look, no one's forcing you. I hope you know that. But we are all accepting folk and not all of us are gay. Erica here, for example, is straight as a rod."

I gasp and so does Santana. Erica shrugs and says, "Can't help it that I like the penis." With a straight face. Santana makes one of her 'what the fuck' faces and I grimace accidentally. Erica laughs.

Rethorically, James asks before continuing. "I know right? And she's our secretary! What matters is that by doing this you'll be helping others but also yourself."

"I agree. I think that this could be really good for you, San." I say with a soft smile.

She actually smiles at me (though it is timid), "I think I can do this. I really think I can. When do we start filming?"


	23. Tongue Tied (Iwan Rheon)

Quinn walks me to the door of my dorm building. It's been a long while since she has walked me here and not come up to sleep over. She runs her nails down my exposed neck - my hair is tied up in a messy bun over my head - and then drags her hand down to my hips to kiss me. I have to stand on my tippy-toes, but it sort of feels special. When her hands find the small of my back, she says, "I'll call you when the meeting's over." I'm never opposed to falling asleep with her voice in my ear, softly lulling me into peaceful slumber.

"Okay," I tell her and kiss her cheek. It feels warm to the touch of my lips, probably because we spent most of the day under the sun. She's pink - completely. That's what she gets for being so white, but I find it endearing.

She smiles and says, "this reminds me of our first date when you kissed me goodnight on the cheek."

It's sweet that she remembers and still cherishes it as much as I do. "Today was just really romantic, even though we were with Ms. Grumpy all day. Somehow you made the beach, and the lighthouse, and the shower in that awesome house - all into a really great, romantic day."

She grabs one of my hands from behind her neck, drops it to our side and runs a thumb over my knuckles lovingly, "I'm glad you think so. I had a really good time with you." The sky is not yet completely dark, but it's settling in. The outline of a few buildings is rising up against the sun.

"Thank you for today, okay?" I tell her, kissing those lips. She licks them in a manner I've come to figure out means that she will kiss me one last time before going. "Maybe if your meeting doesn't take so long we can have a repeat of what happened in the lighthouse after the dancing."

She chuckles, the slightly pink tint of her cheeks getting just that much darker, "yeah, you can definitely count me in." Then she kisses me again, like I knew she would, and says, "I really have to go or I'll be late and I can just imagine how much shit I'll get from Santana, even though she is the worst person I know when it comes to punctuality."

It's true, so I wish her a, "Good night and good meeting." And break away from her hold, making way to the top step of the front porch of the dormitory building. I'm standing there, watching her go as a few people come up and go inside.

I watch her walk to the car, head downcast, and then she turns at the last minute before getting in the car, "See you later." She waves and gets in. Only when the car disappears around the corner do I go inside.

I drop my bags by the foot of my bunk bed and grab my script to read some lines. I just realized that Thursday Finn will be here because Thursday is the day the play is open to the public. But if Quinn is taking this as well as she is, then I can do my best and not over-analyze the entire thing.

I must've fallen asleep and not only "rested my eyes" for a while because I wake up with my phone ringing next to my head. I search for the phone with my right hand, laying on my stomach, and trying to not have to move still. I'm exhausted.

"Hello?" Quinn says on the other side. "Rach?"

Even though my eyes are forcing me to keep them closed and my body is telling me I need to go back to sleep, I smile. "Hey, gorgeous." It comes out a lot softer than I intended it to, and my voice sounds rough and like I haven't used it in ages.

"Were you sleeping? I'm so sorry, I can call you tomorrow."

"No." I tell her immediately, "I like hearing your voice before sleeping. Tell me about the meeting."

"Santana and I just finished the meeting so she should be back soon. I think she's going to do great for the video. I got a script today, too! I thought you'd be excited to hear about that." She giggles.

It does make me excited. When she mentions script I look around and find mine on the floor, pages sprawled open. "That's pretty great. I gotta say," yawn, "it makes me very happy. Do you want me to run lines with you?" I offer.

"Baby, you sound pretty tired. I can let you go to sleep."

"Are you not coming to sleep over here tonight?"

"You sound like you need rest," she starts to say. I think the caffeine from her coffee will keep her awake for a while - I can hear her trying to contain her excitement about the video just because I'm tired. "I can sleep over tomorrow, or you can come here - depends on Mary's schedule."

I sigh, "but I sleep so much better when you're holding me. Well," I open my eyes finally, when the door opens and in comes a tanned Santana, all smiles and bright eyes. I imagine Quinn must be feeling about the same. She walks to where I am and kisses my forehead, "you never told me if you'd like me to help you run lines." I mouth, 'hello,' to Santana and she makes a motion to her bed, telling me she'll be going to sleep soon. I nod.

"If you insist," she jokes. "But totally. It's not a lot. Maybe two or three lines, but it could never hurt to get help from a pro."

"That's right." I assure her. My eyes shut against my will again and I yawn, louder this time.

"Alright, that's it. Good night, principessa. Sweet dreams." She doesn't give me an option and I know this means she won't back down.

"Good night. Love you."

"I love you, too."

I wake up with Santana rattling around. I have no idea what she's doing or what she's looking for but she's frantic. I loudly breathe in. She realizes I'm awake and looks at me, desperation in her eyes, "oh, thank God you're awake! Sorry, but do you have any idea where I left my... lucky purple panties?" She asks, bringing down her voice even though we're the only two in the room.

I rub at my eyes, "No, have you ever thought about looking for them at Britt's?"

She seems to consider this possibility and then relaxes, her arms hang by her body, "right." She smiles at me, "thank you so much! I don't know what I'd do without you in my life."

"Neither do I," I say and start laughing. "Why do you need them again?"

That desperation from before is back, "I'm going to cheer practice, remember? First time in almost two years. And we're starting that video today."

I throw the blankets off my body and put my feet on the ground, hands gripping the bed, "that's right! You have every right to be nervous, San. But you don't need those panties. Just be yourself and you'll be alright. Secretly, I think you could be competition for Quinn's captaincy spot..." I'm not telling her that because I'm secretly plotting to take down Quinn or anything like that. I tell her simply to remind her that she is Captain material - she's really good at what she does and she shouldn't worry.

"Really?" She asks, insecurity showing.

"Sure, babe. I think you can be her second-in-command in less than a week if you let yourself be." I smile, "those other cheerleaders won't know what hit them. But, like, don't literally hit them; they're nice people." I stand and go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my face.

By the time I come out she's already gone. I check my phone and Quinn has sent a good morning text already.

Rach: Morning! Just woke up with my crazy roommate going crazier and I'm pretty sure I can credit it all to you. :)

Qtie: why thank you. I try my best.

Rach: Do I get to see you today at all? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, post-dinner?

Qtie: Today I'm only free for about an hour at around 7ish? Video starts filming today - I think we're doing Santana first.

Rach: I have rehearsals then. Call me anyway, so we can see if we can steal a few minutes together?

Qtie: definitely. :)

"Come to my help, my lords!" Jesse shouts. My attention is diverted to the ring of my phone from my bag near the piano. I rush to it, apologizing for interrupting rehearsals.

Will gives me a look and says, "okay, everyone, take 20 minutes, go get something to eat, to drink, go to the bathroom. We'll meet here again at 7."

That's so enough time. I pick up the phone and surely enough, it's Quinn.

Before she has the chance to say anything, I tell her, "I have twenty minutes. Can you meet me anywhere?"

She laughs on the other side, "hi to you too. It just so happens we're filming here."

"Here where?" I ask, excited. I rush out of the auditorium taking a left, where the film studios are.

"Here there. The same building you are in. Well, I am in." She laughs, "Baby, I'm here. Where are you?" She sounds just as eager as I am.

I turn a corner and run into a body. A tall, slender body, with blonde hair, a little bit sunburnt, and incredibly beautiful hazel eyes. "Hi," I breathe out and pick up my phone. I help her up and she chuckles.

"Ouch," she squeezes my hand, "hi!" Her smile grows. "Twenty minutes is enough. Do you know anywhere we could go?"

"Come." I pull her into a dark hallway that leads to the radio department in the school. Nobody is ever around here around this time. As soon as we're out of the light, I feel her hand grabbing everything. She grabs my butt playfully, squeezing and then lightly slapping it.

I turn around and hold her wrists, "nuh uh. I want to touch you."

"But I don't get to touch you?" She asks, concerned. Her eyebrows raise together, and then frown. She looks at my chest and then slowly lifts a hand and pulls away my v-neck shirt to be able to get a better look. She whimpers.

I laugh and grab her hand, moving it away. "I'll make you feel really good." I kiss her softly. Then I interlace our fingers in both hands and back her up into the brick walls that this building is made out of. She grunts when her back hits it, and I giggle as I press feathery kisses to her neck. I bring our hands up above her head and she tries to get out of my hold but I hold her firmly in place.

"I need to touch you," she grumbles. I leave open mouthed kisses on her neck, letting my tongue taste her and find her mouth, my tongue darting out first. It licks my lips and then hers, and she opens her mouth willingly, moaning.

I stroke her tongue and the roof of her mouth and then suck on her tongue. I tighten my grip of her hands and she cants her hips forward, silently asking for more. I want her to beg.

She huffs and I feel the air hit the top of my head. I'm making my way back down, but I make sure to keep her hands in mine. I reach the cut of her blouse and kiss the soft mound being covered. She gasps. I kiss the other one, and she gasps again. I flatten my tongue against her collarbone and run it across it, stopping and sucking on the left side of her neck. She squirms and whispers, "fuck. Can I touch you, please?" She asks.

I lick my lips before attacking her breast again, but to actually see it I need to remove her shirt, so I untangle our hands. They immediately find my neck and pull me closer against her. My cheeks are being squished against her chest. Her bra is still in place, but the nipple is straining against the thin cloth. I find her hands again and hold them both with one, up and away. She grunts. I move back up to her mouth and kiss her, stealing her breath. She inhales and I with her. I smirk against her lips and she licks them. "I want you so fucking much."

"Then please, just take me." She says, hips moving again, looking for friction. I finally meet hers with mine and the feeling that sparks from the connection is intense. Her muscles are tensing, and her breathing is getting more shallow with time. My free hand moves down to hold on to her hip, gripping it hard. She moves her leg so that it's between mine and I drag my body against hers, my mouth making its way to her neck again. She drops it to the right to give me more.

"Can you get off like this? With your jeans on?" I ask. We're both wearing tight jeans and it's a little bit uncomfortable to still be wearing them with how fucking wet I am but if I just get enough pressure in that particular spot - my knees shake just thinking about it.

She nods, "oh my - yeah, yeah. If you keep doing that, I most definitely can."

I thrust my hip into her and she bucks, biting her lip. It looks delicious. I do it again. She starts to give it back to me. It is chaotic and hot. I lick her right nipple, still contained by the bra, then I close my mouth on it, sucking it. She grips my hand at the feeling. I chuckle and rake my teeth over it. Then I move to the other one and suck on it too.

Her hips are moving like her life depends on it. We're humping each other against this wall, and I can only think of how good her skin feels against mine, and how she tastes. Delectable. The best, most sweet taste in the world. She has given up the struggle to ask me to let go of her hand, so I trust her not to try anything. I drop her hands and she threads her hair with both before bringing one down and pinching her left breast. I use both hands to keep her steady as I grind into her, hard.

She meets my hips move for move, and we're both panting, gasping, whimpering. Licking lips and sucking in breaths. I pull her closer by the ass and take her bottom lip in my mouth with my teeth. When I suck on her tongue again and pull her ever harder, she finds release - shaking underneath me, mouth hangs open. I keep kissing her and for a split second all she does is leave her mouth open. I keep going, because I didn't come yet, but she recovers quick and when she finally grabs both of my boobs and squeezes them, saying "Rachel," I can't control it. Her voice is sex. It takes over me and I buck repeatedly against her body. This sends her on a second wave and we shiver in each other's arms.

"I need a smoke," she says, kidding. "Holy hell, Rachel." I smirk and roll away from her, leaning on the wall.

She looks at me with a lazy grin and heavy eyes. She looks so fucking good, her hair is wild - the short strands at the back going in every direction. Her lips are swollen and red, I run my thumb over them and then above her chin.

"Want me to walk with you?"

"Don't you have to go back to rehearsals soon?"

I nod, "yeah but they're not even going over my scene. I'll be a little late."

I help her re-adjust her bra. I grab her tits and squeeze them again while she's trying to put her blouse back on. I lean forward and we kiss, but then she pushes me away slightly, "we gotta go. Santana must be freaking out because I disappeared."

I smile, "okay, but you said you'd sleepover tonight, so even if your video takes long I want you to come."

She cleans something off my shoulder and runs her hand down my arm, "okay. You can always come watch us after your rehearsal is done."

"I wish I could," I say apologetically, "but I have to study for a quiz tomorrow."

We start walking to the other side of the building and she replies, "alright. I'll come over. Is Santana staying at Britt's tonight?"

I heave a sigh, "I don't know. To be completely honest, I'm prepared for her to come back home crying and angry and frustrated. At the same time, I think she won't do that. Hey, how was practice?"

Quinn goes on to explain how Santana didn't disappoint. The hallways aren't completely dark because the generator is on keeping every third light on, but it's vacant around these parts, especially in the late evening. I draw myself closer to her and she chuckles under her breath but doesn't say anything. Damn it, I'm not supposed to still be scared of the dark but whatever.

The third door to the left of this hallway is the only one with lights on inside. We stroll closer and I look inside. There are about twenty people, all talking loudly, laughing and joking with each other. They seem to be having a good time.

The walls are all white but there is still a white screen coming down from the ceiling behind a black stool. Seems pretty simple. There are three cameras and one of the guys is working the sound system off to the side.

I look for Santana and I find her talking to Erica, some guy who I believe is James if memory serves me right, and a third person. A girl with olive skin, only little lighter than Erica. Her eyes look kind while she listens to Santana. Then her hand is on her shoulder and she's saying something that looks like it's supposed to encourage her.

"That's a lot of people, huh?" Quinn asks from beside me. "Isn't it funny how all of these heads together still couldn't come up with a name for the video?"

"Yeah," I breathe out, suddenly very worried for my best friend. When I pay attention to her, her shoulders are tensed even as she throws her head back in laughter at something someone says. "Do you think I can go talk to her for a while?" Quinn's hands run up my back and start to massage my shoulders and all I can think about is how Santana needs one of these massages. She needs support. I need to be here for her, like I said I would be for everything. I close my eyes and when I open them, I am determined. "I have to make a call to Will."

Quinn understands without me actually having to say it. "Okay. We'll be in here." She points at the door. I nod and take out my phone.

Will doesn't like it, especially because the play is only four days away, but I tell him there's nothing he can say that'll make me go back to rehearsals. It's not like we were even going over my parts. He knows I'm more than ready, and I told him they can put my understudy in for the remainder of rehearsal. He reluctantly agrees, and satisfied, I go inside the studio.

They're getting ready to begin in a while. Santana sees me come in and exhales profusely. "I'm so glad you're here," she mutters through a closed smile.

I step in and hug her, gently massaging her shoulders. "I was thinking that maybe I could sit by the camera and it'd be just like you were telling me this story. And that's not so scary, right?" I ask, nudging her chin with one of my knuckles.

She awkwardly smiles, "no."

And I tell her casually, "because I already know your story and I love you regardless. People will still love you, I promise. Maybe this will make them love you more." I reassure her. I see Quinn from the corner of my eye talking to that other girl.

The other girl is smiling at her, the same way she had been smiling at Santana, but her hand is on the crook of Quinn's elbow. I'm sure Quinn is too naive to even notice it, but I do. "Thank you so much for doing this. Weren't you in rehearsals?"

I shrug her off, "yeah, but it's no big deal." I see that Quinn and Other Girl are standing by the table with the beverages and snacks. "I'm going to grab a hot chocolate, okay? And then I'll talk to whoever is in charge and set up that stool next to the main camera."

She closes her eyes, and breathes in, "okay." Her eyes open and she shivers.

"You're okay, though, right? You don't have to go through with it if you don't want." I tell her again what I'm sure people have told her a billion times. She gives me a firm nod of her head. "Okay."

I give her arm one last squeeze and then cross the room to grab me a cup of hot chocolate. What a coincidence that it's right by Quinn. "Hey," she turns and looks at me with soft warm honey hazel eyes.

The chocolate mix goes in first and then the hot water from a thermos. I mix it with a clean plastic spoon available and smile, "hi."

"Rach, this is Gaea. She's another one of the volunteers for the video. Gaea, this is Rachel."

She doesn't say I'm her girlfriend, but she grabs my hand and takes my chocolate from my hand to take a sip from it. I'm sure Gaea understands. What kind of a name is that anyway? What? Earth? Is she Mother Nature? I shake my head and give Quinn a playful look for stealing my drink. She hands it back and I realize she has a little bit of it on her upper lip. I use my thumb to clean it and then dry my finger on my pants. "Hi, Gaea. It's very nice to meet you." I let go of Quinn's hand to offer it to her (because it's the one I didn't use to clean my girlfriend's mouth).

She shakes my hand and then says, "I saw you singing. You were great."

Am I not always? I smile politely and Quinn stifles laughter, "you just inflated her ego. She'll love you forever now."

"Thanks you," I tell her and then I take a long sip of my drink, forgetting how hot it is. I think I burn my tongue. "Damn it." I mutter.

They both look at me with a weird look and I just swipe a hand in front of my face to discard it, "oh-kay." Quinn says. "Anyway, babe, how's Santana?"

Oh! That's right. What an ass am I. I need to find out who's in charge to find me a seat. "She'll be okay. I need to speak to whoever's in charge, please."

Quinn's and Gaea's eyes search around the room until they land on a short asian man, "There, Chris. He's the director." Gaea says and they both point.

"Thanks," I tell her before walking away. I can't be jealous of Quinn because she's working on not being jealous for me. I count to five in my head because I don't have the patience to count to fucking ten. I look behind me quickly to see what they're doing and they're back to casually talking and laughing about things I probably know nothing of.

Chris has a large headphone set on his head but he smiles when I approach. "Can I help you?" He asks, smiles politely and then is rushing to another person who hands him a stack of papers.

"Hi, I'm Rachel Berry. I am Santana Lopez' best friend and Quinn Fabray's girlfriend-" I point to each respective girl and he barely nods to indicate he's still listening. "I was thinking that it'd be helpful for Santana if I was sitting by the main camera when she's sharing her story so she feels more comfortable."

He doesn't seem to have a problem and shakes his head in the positive, "sure. Find yourself a chair and sit by camera number 3. She'll be doing most of the talking at it but we're gonna have two other cameras set up in different angles too."

I clap excitedly, "great! Thanks!"

Her fingers are tapping erratically against her thighs. She doesn't focus anywhere while she's waiting. Her eyes squint to where everybody else is - behind the cameras - waiting for the 'go' from Chris. The room is now completely dark except for Santana. There are three big lights on her, and I'm sure she can't see me, much like that day at the Coffee House, but I reassured her I'd be sitting there from beginning to end, so it'd still be like she's telling me this story.

I know her eyes are looking for a friendly, familiar face. I do what I know will calm her which is: well, sing. It's soft, barely audible at first because Chris is still looking over a few last details with James and Erica near Cam1, and I don't want to attract everyone to me and distract them. I simply want to help Santana relax.

Quinn is the first person to notice I'm singing because her hands which were on my shoulder start to move and then run down my biceps and she squeezes them and gives me a peck on the temple. I smile but keep singing, a little bit stronger. Those around me hush almost immediately after the first person hears it. They all tell each other to be silent.

Santana's head snaps up next. She looks right at where my voice is coming from and slowly a smile forms on her face. She recognizes the song. I keep singing and eventually the entire room is completely and eerily quiet, except for my voice. Not one single person dares to speak.

Well I woke up to the sound of silence  
the cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight  
and I found you with a bottle of wine  
your head in the curtains  
and heart like the Fourth of July

You swore and said  
"We are not  
We are not shining stars"  
This I know  
I never said we are

Though I've never been through hell like that  
I've closed enough windows  
to know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone  
Or you're sinking like a stone  
Carry on  
May your past be the sound  
Of your feet upon the ground  
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

Whoa  
My head is on fire  
But my legs are fine  
After all they are mine  
Lay your clothes down on the floor  
Close the door  
Hold the phone  
Show me how  
No one's ever gonna stop us now

Cause we are  
We are shining stars  
We are invincible  
We are who we are  
On our darkest day  
When we're miles away  
Sun will come  
We will find our way home

If you're lost and alone

Or you're sinking like a stone  
Carry on  
May your past be the sound  
Of your feet upon the ground  
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

Once the song is over, there is no clapping because they get it that it would ruin the mood it's created - I wasn't expecting any; it was an improptu performance - acapella - no random musical track started to play along with me perfectly and I sang without any practice and my voice is rough in some parts. To me what matters is that Santana listened to what I was telling her.

Santana is not crying, like half of the people in this room right now. She is finally smiling genuinely and she looks ready. "Carry on," Santana tells the people in the room who have stopped their work to pay attention to me. The room's tension seems to be slip away and everyone seems to agree on a theme for the entire video: Keep Calm and Carry On.

The room doesn't ever get as loud as it was before I started singing and when Chris looks at Santana and asks, "ready?" she meets his eyes dead-on.

"Ready."

At the end, I'm bawling. Quinn is crying silently. Santana's eyes are dry and she's smiling with confidence I hadn't seen on her in a while. I press the palm of my hands on my eyes and then start to cry harder when I feel Santana hug me and shush me. "It's okay, Berry. Look - I'm fine. Still alive."

I giggle through sobs and grab her shoulders hard, "you did so good. I'm so fucking proud of you."

James calls out, "Way to go, Santana! That was powerful stuff!" and starts applauding. Grins are adorning every face, contrasting the tears, and the other volunteers clap as well.

Quinn says, "that really was great stuff, S." She pats her arm encouragingly.

"Aw, stop it. Every one of you."

The people laugh but do eventually quiet down and fix back on their jobs. Santana is called over by Chris and they start pointing at a computer screen and talking.

"When do you do yours?" I ask Quinn.

"Mine's different than Santana's." She explains. "Mine is more like a- a little scene. They're going to interweave her story with our parts. They took 'prominent'" she uses air quotes and laughs, "gay and straight people in our campus to appear in these skits. I'm playing myself - kinda, but not really?" Her charming laugh comes out softly.

Santana comes back, "I'm going to Britt's tonight. She's pretty bummed she couldn't be here so-" She shrugs. "Thanks again," she tells Quinn and I and leaves.

Quinn goes back to explaining, "see, I'm going to play the cheerleader who turns out to have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend... Kinda like I do."

This perks up my interest, "well, who's going to play your girlfriend?" I chew the inside of my cheek, hoping she says Erica or something, because I know she's straight - or so says Quinn.

"Gaea, of course. They -" she is talking but my ears turned off after 'Gaea, of course.' Why Gaea? And why 'of course?' My vision blurs but I shake it off and pretend to listen to what she's saying. It shouldn't bother me, right? She's just a volunteer - it'll be acting. There'll be no kissing. Right? There'll be no kissing, right? Right?

"There'll be no kissing, right?" I ask before I can stop myself.

She gives me a confused look. "Uh, no. Maybe a peck or two but nothing too intense. She chuckles and keeps talking.

I'm starting to understand the feeling she got when she heard about Harmony and I working together. F. M.L.

As if I hadn't had enough of Gaea already, she comes up to me right before Quinn and I are leaving. "Hey, Rach." Wait, who said she can call me 'Rach'? I try to ignore it. "We were talking," by 'we' she means herself, Erica, James and Chris, "and we want you to sing the song you sang for Santana for our video. Do you think you can? Please, say yes!" She smiles, her red lips parting into a fucking perfect smile. Gosh, how I don't like her. It's worse because she's so nice and not fake like Harmony. She's genuinely nice and genuinely interested in having me sing.

I say yes.

Quinn and I walk back together, stopping by the empty auditorium to get my stuff. It's still in the exact place where I left it.

"I don't know how much I like Gaea playing your on-screen girlfriend," I say but I do it as a normal comment, not to worry Quinn. I don't want to not like her, I just don't. But Quinn's been so good controlling her jealousy-ish, that I don't want to give her reasons to get upset at me.

She doesn't seem worried at all. She's been so casual about the entire thing. I don't know if it's because she's not worried about upsetting me or if it's because she doesn't think I'm really upset about Gaea.

"She's a really cool chick, super down-to-earth," is her response. What the fuck? I don't want to hear that about this girl I'm really insecure about. It's those damn green eyes against her skin. She looks like a mixture of African American and... I don't know, middle eastern or something. "What I mean is-" Quinn realizes my glare and explains hereself, "she's really easy-going. This is just acting for both of us. If we have to kiss, she'll do it but it's not like it's a big deal for her. Or for me."

She blushes slightly. I'm afraid to ask the next question, "are you attracted to her?"

Her eyes bulge, "no! Rachel," she stops walking and grabs both my hands, "only you."

The fear is still settling in my stomach. I decide to do the honesty thing and tell her, "I'm jealous."

She chuckles, and it upsets me a little bit just because she's laughing at me. "Well, it's nice to be on this end of things for once but you don't have to be. We're just friends."

Wednesday night. I'm anxious and stressed. I'm not the only one. Quinn's been pissy all day, sometimes even completely avoiding touching me because I apparently breathe too loud.

Santana is a basket case.

Britt just seems lost for most of the part.

Kurt has called three times. Blaine called once. This all happened after rehearsals.

I'm resting on Quinn's bed with my arm thrown over my eyes. She comes in and slams the door. I jump slightly. She's on edge and I can feel the vibe in the room turn sour. I don't say anything - let her speak.

"Fucking machine. Didn't take my dollar."

I inhale deeply and then breathe out through my mouth. "Just a damn machine, go to the store."

I can't be this stressed out this close to the opening night of the play. This is important. I need to be perfect to prove to Mr. Willows and April Rhodes that I am the right Wendla - that I can play anything, and that they made the right choice.

"If I wanted to walk to the store, Rachel," she bites out my name, "I would've already gone." She throws her dollar on top of the desk and starts to go through her bags and various pants' pockets.

I let the smart-ass comment fly over my head. "Baby, I can go get you some juice if you want," and I get up to put my shoes on.

Her hand flies up and she stops me, "I can buy a juice from a fucking vending machine, Rachel."

Alrighty, then. I try not to take the bait of all these comments. I know what her problem is. It's what's in everybody's mind today. The thing is that she just won't admit it and say it. I think she's afraid of admittint it because earlier this week she assured me she was only worried for Santana. I think it's fucking ironic she got upset at me for not telling her what was bothering me but she won't tell me what's bothering her either.

"Go on, just say it."

She's unfolding a crispy dollar bill she found in one of her books. Why it was there I have no idea. She doesn't look up from the action and asks, "say what?" She's irritated by me and I'm almost considering leaving but I wouldn't have a place to go because Britt and Santana are at my place tonight.

"You can play dumb all you want, but I know you know what I'm referring to."

She looks at me then and gives me a half-heartedly smile, "I'll be right back."

Ugh. Ass.

The door swings open again, and this time it doesn't slam. She closes it softly and places the juice on top of her desk. She uses her feet to remove her shoes and then sits on the side of the bed, hands on her hair, elbows on her knees. The hands cover the eyes, like when she's embarassed and I know an apology is coming.

She breathes in, slowly - almost painfully. I trace my index finger up her arm and pull her left hand away from her face from my position. I'm lying down again. She lets me remove her hand and then grabs my hand tightly. My other hand starts to make large soothing circles on her back under her thin shirt. "I'm sorry."

"I know. Me too, okay? I wish he wasn't coming but-" I stop talking because I don't know what to say.

She lets her body fall next to mine and turns her head so we can look at each other eye-to-eye, "I need your permission for something."

I find her hand and start to mess with her fingers, "yeah? What?"

"I really want to speak to him for like a minute, that's all I'm asking."

"No," what a ridiculous thought. "I have no idea what he could do to you. I can't have you speak to him alone."

"What if I bring Santana along?"

"And what makes you think she'd go with you to meet him? She can't stand his face."

"Trust me - she will." She leans forward and kisses my foreahead. I ponder silently.

We're silent for a long time before I say, "my body is all tense. I have got to relax before tomorrow."

On an instant she's hovering over me, dark eyes looking into mine, "I am so qualified to help you with that."

"Really?" I ask and then flip us around so I'm on top. Before she has the chance to move to bring us back to the other position, I throw a leg over her hips and straddle her, "what if I want to fuck you this time? Fuck you hard and good?" I raise an eyebrow in my best imitation of hers and lick my lips just thinking about tasting her.

"You've been insatiable lately," She comments.

"I can never get enough of you," I tell her as I make my way down her body. I flatten my tongue against her stomach and lick it, and then take a few bites around her belly button. I look up at her and smirk, "Can I get in your pants?"

She laughs, her breath already wihout a pattern. "Do you even have to ask?"

I unbutton her black jeans and pull it down. She helps me get it all the way out and I throw it on her chair. I take her right leg up in my hands and kiss her foot, up her ankle, the inside of her thighs until my mouth is hovering over her sex. I bite my lip at the thought of it but then I skip over it and kiss her back down the other way.

When I reach her other foot she grips my hair hard and pulls me up. "Stop," she kisses me, "teasing," another kiss, "and," kiss, "fuck me."

I nod and she pulls me down, a knowing look in her eyes as her hand on my head guides me to where she wants me.

I stop and look. Her underwear is drenched. I use my thumb to lightly circle her clit for a few seconds. Then I latch my mouth on and stroke my tongue against the fabric, sucking up her juices and making her pant.

"Oh, shit."

I'm still coming down from my high. I feel her lips ghost over my right nipple and then kiss it. She's glistening, her hair is stuck to her forehead and over her ears. I move it away and pull her in for a kiss.

She looks like raw passion. I fucking love it. Without thinking I tell her I want her to fuck me with the strap-on but that's only because I really like how she is completely unhibited when she puts it on. I'm not thinking about anything or anyone else at the moment.

I see the fire in her eyes when I suggest it and I assume it has to do with the fact that she wants it too. Most times she's game but right now she just looks... Angry.

"Damn it, Rachel!" She snaps underneath me.

I startle, and ask confused "what?"

"We were finally - we were good. Why did you have to bring that up?"

"Bring what up? I thought you liked it." I shrug. She tries to move but I keep her down, not without effort.

She gives up and huffs as the bed starts to accomodate her body again, "I do like it, just not when you want it so you can get off thinking about your ex."

Oh my, "what the fuck." Where is that idea coming from? I mean, yeah, he's coming but no- he's not making me come.

"Don't act like it isn't true. You bring it up the night before he comes into town? The night before he's here? It makes me think you're either thinking of him while I'm fucking you with it or - fuck it." She manages to release one of her wrists from my hold and presses a thumb and index finger to her eyes.

Clearly she's not taking this as easy as I thought she was. I sigh, "baby, I'm not thinking of him. I wasn't until you brought him up." I drop my body forward and take her ear in my mouth with my teeth, "I don't know how many times I've said it but I'll say it again - I want you and only you." The bed creaks under our bodies when she tries to get up from beneath me again but I hold my ground. I patiently wait until she's making eye contact again. "I just think it's really hot when you wear it. I might have a small fetish, but it's for the toy not the real thing. I like girls, okay? I love you. I don't want Finn nor do I want his dick."

"You make it sound so easy."

"And isn't?" I ask, dragging my nipples against her warm, slightly pink skin. She bites her lip and looks at the action with hooded eyes. I fall on top of her, blanketing and making sure she won't get up. I find her breasts with my hands and hold them from the side, maintaining eye contact. "I love your body. I love your feminine curves, I love your boobs, I love you."

She trembles.

"Say you love me, too."

I have to hear it. This moment is fragile and I need the reassurance evwn though I know she does.

Instead of telling me the words I ask she says, "I can't let it go this easily. Not this time." Her eyes burn when they search mine. I want to be inside her head right now to understand but she doesn't seem to want to fight right now. And by fight, I mean fight not to argue. Fight to get through this night.

Slightly hurt by her obvious rejection, I make a move to get up. She grabs me by the arm and pulls me in. Her lips press into mine harshly. I don't kiss her back because I'm angry. So is she. I can feel it in the way her fingers are gripping me. She's been rough in bed before but I never felt... Confused.

"Get off," I tell her and push her by the shoulders. I stumble out of bed and fall on my ass. My eyes are prickling with water.

"Okay, I love you. Is that what you want to hear?" She asks, also upset. She sits up and stretches. I throw a shirt at her.

"Why are you being so fucking complicated?"

"I'm not!" she defends and puts it on. It was the first shirt I saw, it might not even be hers. Could be mine or Mary's or even Britt's.

"I didn't think you were going to make a big deal out of Finn again this time."

She looks down. She pulls up a knee and runs her open hands up her calfs and ankle and shin. "I-" I wait, glare. I don't want a fucking apology. I don't really know what I want. It definitely isn't what she gives me though. "I don't know if I can make it to the opening tomorrow."

I'm speechless. Tongue tied.


	24. World (Five For Fighting)

At first when she suggests it I think she's kidding, but when I make eye contact, she seems to be pretty serious. I try really hard to take the thought that has come in my mind away but I can't. "Damn it, Rachel!"

She looks like I threw cold water at her face,"what?"

"We were finally - we were good. Why did you have to bring that up?"

"Bring what up? I thought you liked it." Yeah, sure, I like it. But not when I'm being used. I try to move but she doesn't let me and keeps me pinned down. If I weren't so pissed, this would be really hot. Well, it still is, but I'm too angry to care.

I let her dominate me and I fall back down, giving in, "I do like it, just not when you want it so you can get off thinking about your ex."

Her mouth hangs open and her cheeks redden, but I have a feeling it's not because she's embarrassed. She's just angry. She looks like I slapped her on the face and now she is trying to understand why, "what the fuck," she says each word with disdain and tilts her head at me, her eyes narrow.

"Don't act like it isn't true. You bring it up the night before he comes into town? The night before he's here? It makes me think you're either thinking of him while I'm fucking you with it or - fuck it." Word vomit. To keep my thoughts at bay, I place my index finger and my thumb on each said of the top of my nose and press firmly into my closed eyes. It doesn't work. My mind is in a thousand places at once.

She sighs, "baby, I'm not thinking of him. I wasn't until you brought him up." She falls forward and takes my ear with her mouth. It immediately gets a reaction from my body. I clench my thighs and try to ignore it. "I don't know how many times I've said it but I'll say it again - I want you and only you." I have to get up. Tingles are shooting to every nerve ending in my body, but she keeps me down and makes eye contact. "I just think it's really hot when you wear it. I might have a small fetish, but it's for the toy not the real thing. I like girls, okay? I love you. I don't want Finn nor do I want his dick."

"You make it sound so easy."

"And isn't it?" She asks and damn it, it could be, couldn't it? If I just forgot Finn and I let it go and listened to her words and believed her. Just like I asked her to trust me and here I am having trouble doing the same back. "I love your body. I love your feminine curves, I love your boobs, I love you." She's currently amused by the way my breasts feel in her hands, lightly grabbing on to them, and appreciating my curves. I tremble at the unadulterated look of pure wanton she gives me. "Say you love me, too." She asks.

I want to say it so badly. I really do, but my mind keeps warning me not to. Because if I do it'll just let her know that it's okay that she carries this useless troll in her life. "I can't let it go this easily. Not this time." I match her eyes, and I know my eyes reflect the same amount of anger as hers. I keep going back to that night outside of Breadstix when she asked me to let it go. I did then, but not this time. It's not fair for me to always have to be the bigger person.

She seems dejected by the fact that I ignored her plea. She tries to leave, to get up and away from me but I grab her wrist and bring her back, our bodies sliding together. I press my lips to hers, trying to prove it to her and convey to her that I do love her, I just can't say it right now. I think I'm hurting her because she whimpers slightly, but not in a good way, and pushes me away.

She says, "Get off," and it hurts. She moves her left leg from above me and ends up falling on her ass. It would've been funny if we weren't arguing.

She looks at me with a disgusted look, completely on the other end of the spectrum from five minutes ago when she wanted to keep going at it. "Okay, I love you. Is that what you want to hear?" I sit up, stretch. I'm pissed. I don't mean it, even though I do love her.

"Why are you being so fucking complicated?"

"I'm not!" I say louder than I intend to as I put on Britt's shirt that she picked up from my chair and threw it at me. I have no idea why it's in my room, but who cares.

"I didn't think you were going to make a big deal out of Finn again this time." She says, tilting her head in that fucking know-it-all attitude she gets.

I can't look at her, so my eyes fall to the floor. To find something to do with my hands, I pull up my left knee and caress my own legs. "I-" She waits while I organize my thoughts. My organize thoughts come out as, "I don't know if I can make it to the opening tomorrow." My stomach drops at the look she gives me. This burst of jealousy started off small. I don't even know what's gotten into me - going all crazy and accusing her of shit like this but I also can't keep quiet because damn it, she's put me through Finn before and. And. I have to remind myself she almost gave up SA for me but then I feel guilty. It's too much pressure. "I can't go tomorrow, sorry."

I don't know if I'm prepared to watch her with Harmony. I'm definitely not prepared to watch Finn watch her. I don't know what to do but just not go altogether. I'm stressing her out with my stress and she needs to be good, which I don't doubt she will be.

"Why not?" She demands, hands curling into fists. "Santana has a better reason to avoid it but she is going."

"You shouldn't compare me to your best friend." I warn her. She gives me a look of disbelief before picking up a robe and throwing it on, angrily tying the knot around her. "She can do no wrong to you, so it's not really fair."

"Fuck you. Santana is an asshole and she pisses me off on a daily basis -"

"Besides, that's not the point. The point is, my head?" I'm shoving my index finger at my temple and it hurts but I have no control over my emotions. "It's fucking chaos in here right now. I told you I wanted to be there for you-"

"And I trusted you to be-" she throws it back in my face.

I sigh, "but you have to understand that this is me working to be able to do that. If I go tomorrow I'll just be upset and you'll hate me. Your performance needs to be perfect and -"

She laughs and starts grabbing her hair to form a bun, "don't you even dare try to make this about me and my performance. My performance will be great, regardless. You don't feel like coming because you have some sort of - fat school girl complex inside of you or something. Stop thinking about them and think about me! About us!" She demands. What she's asking sounds so selfish of her, but I know that at this moment, she has every right to ask me that.

I stand, hands palm open in front of me, "I can't! Okay? I can't stop because... Because you're always with her and he's always in there." I point at her heart and I don't have to mention the picture of him and Kurt she had up in her room at the beginning of this semester. I've been jealous of Finn before I even knew his name - it's just gotten exponentially worse because somehow the fucking tool is still in her life.

I don't understand how she can hold on to him, to memories with him. It just doesn't make sense to me. I have no problems moving on from assholes (like my boyfriends in high school) or bitches who ended up breaking my heart significantly (my first girlfriend in tenth grade who wanted to keep everything a secret).

"It just doesn't make sense to me, so."

"Make what sense?"

"How you're still not over him!"

"I am! I don't love him, Quinn. I love YOU!" she stomps her foot, crosses her arm and looks down. We take a few seconds to breathe and calm down, avoiding looking at each other in the eye.

"I'm not saying you don't but... What I meant is that it just bothers me that he still takes up a part of your heart that'll simply never belong to me."

She shakes her head still looking down, probably cursing me in her mind. Her voice comes out controlled, "all of me. All of me belongs to you and you still can't see that? From the moment I first saw you I knew I was fucked." She says and draws a knuckle under her eyes to keep herself from crying. She smiles and it's hard to watch her upset because of me and my inability to shut the fuck up and my ability to fuck the shit up. "Because I knew that if I ever had a chance with you, I'd be gone and broken forever; I wouldn't be able to ever be with someone else. And damn it, I didn't do serious."

I place a hand in each hip and look down, my unruly bangs get on my eyes but I leave them. "That's crazy." I mutter. Moving on isn't hard for me, I can do it easily. "You'd be able to move on from me fast."

"Well," she says now that the calm is restored, "maybe you could move on from me. Isn't that what you're thinking? That if I broke your heart you'd be gone in a heartbeat and never look back like you never look back at Columbus and your other exes." I don't move. I don't want her to know that she gets into my head and just knows what I'm thinking, even though she pretends she can't. "But even that's a lie. You are telling yourself you could, but I know you couldn't. This is what true, crazy, raw love is like."

"I could." I attempt feebly. "So don't break my heart."

"I won't. But please stop saying things like that, it breaks mine."

She steps closer and is pulling on her own hands out of nervous habit. I look at her and see what an emotional toll this is taking on her. It wasn't my intention. I didn't want it to get this big. I just also didn't want to have sex with my girlfriend while Finn Hudson is constantly looming around the back of my head. So maybe I'm mostly upset at myself for not being able to ignore him, and not actually upset at her for something as stupid as suggesting strap-on sex. Lashing out, it's what it's called.

"I don't want us to go to bed mad at each other." I say. We never do ever since we promised.

She nods, considering the alternative, "I don't think I could sleep if you were still mad at me."

I shake out the tension still taking over my muscles and venture another look at her. She's still sad about the conversation and I still haven't taken back what I said about going to the play, but I need to hug her, to be close to her. To be there for her even when I'm the one hurting her. Fucking asshole. It's just like every other fight we have. She says something and I snap, unable to censor my thoughts and words even when I don't necessarily believe them.

I pull her in for a hug and she just loosely wraps her arms around me.

I kiss her on the top of her head, smell the scent of her vanilla shampoo, "I apologize for upsetting you and for being a general dick about this entire thing." That's two apologies in one night.

She sighs and hugs me back, harder, "Thank you. I'm sorry, too."

"What for?" I ask because this time she has nothing to be sorry about. I caress some of her hair away from her face being cradled by my chest.

"I just am for how everything is turning out."

"Please," I beg, "forget what I said about moving on."

She expels air forcefully out of her mouth, "Love me?"

"I love you so much."

"Then I can forget it. Easy like 1, 2, 3. See? Gone! Forgotten. But you have to do something for me."

"What's that?"

She runs her hand up to my neck and says, our foreheads touching and eyes seeking comfort in each other's again, "come watch me perform. You know how worked up I get when you're in the audience."

"Okay." I give in, against my better judgement.

"Alright, Q. It's your line next."

"Right," I shake my head to clear my thoughts. It's 7:30, the play is at 8. I told her I'd go so I'm going but the nerves are causing havoc and I can't concentrate. "Uh, 'hey, baby. I missed you.'" I look into Gaea's ocean green eyes and think of how it feels wrong to tell another girl that, even though it's just acting.

"And I missed you -" She says with a playful smile and leans in like she's going to kiss me but she doesn't. Not on this take. "Ready?" She offers me her hand and I take it.

"Let's go."

"You look beautiful, by the way." Her character says. I do what I'm supposed to - look coy and bashful and look at what I'm wearing.

"Thanks," I bite my lip and she grins.

"I love you, beautiful."

"I love you." It comes out strained and Gaea looks at me with a look that tells me she knows why.

"It's just acting, Q." She whispers.

"Cut!" Chris yells and people break off.

I run a hand through my hair, "yeah, I know. But I have a small problem with being jealous of Rachel because she's in a play with a girl who's in love with her, but here I am telling a complete stranger I love her. It's not like her and Harmony are playing lovers - that would've been easy." I'm ranting, whining like a five and a half year old. Oh, yes.

Her brows raise, "but you don't love me. So there's no need to worry." She casually walks back to her spot on the floor, by the open door of my character's room.

I stand in front of the mirror, "still feels ironic somehow," I tell my reflection.

"Go again, from the top. Quinn, try to say that last line with more... Love."

"Yeah, of course." I tell Chris. From next to him Erica gives me a thumbs up. I smile back.

"Action!"

I look at the mirror and pretend to be engrossed in putting on makeup, fixing my mascara. "Hi," Gaea says.

"Hey, baby." I say, forcing myself to convey love for this girl. "I missed you."

I got her a bouquet of mixed flowers. They'red all red though, because red is her favorite, and because I am so very much in love with her. I'm standing next to Santana, who's doing her best not to ask the guy next to us in the lobby to take a drag out of his cigarette. Britt's massaging both of ours shoulders. Tina comes up, "you guys, this is going to be really good!" She's excited, completely oblivious to the drama behind it all.

I steal a glance at Santana and then say, "yeah. I'm excited. It'll be great." I'm mumbling and she's straining to hear me.

Mike runs up to us and steals Tina away, "save us a spot, guys!" He yells as they go speak to some other people.

"Have you seen him yet?"

I look at Santana quickly before scanning the crowd for him.

"No, not yet." Finn's fairly tall. I think he'd be pretty easy to see if he was here already.

The doors open. It's ten minutes to show time. I want to surprised Rachel before she goes on stage though, so after we all find front-row seats (obviously), I grab the bouquet and find my way backstage.

I recognize a few faces. Jesse is in his Cyrano outfit with a fake sword on his hip, and a fake nose on his face. I pass by him and tell him to break a leg. He smiles and thanks me and then focuses on his breathing again.

I finally see Rachel sitting in front of a dresser they set up, applying last touches of makeup on. "Hey," I say and my lips break into a smile. I'm so nervous. So very nervous, but tonight is about her.

She turns, awestruck, "Oh, my God! Hi!" She gets up and hugs me, crushing my bones.

"Hey," I say again. "I got you these." I hand her the bouquet and she bites her lip.

She looks up at me with big brown eyes, "I'm so happy you're here. I wasn't sure if you'd actually show up..." She trails off and touches each flower with the tips of her fingers as if not to bruise them.

I breathe in and scratch the back of my neck, "well, you know. I told you I'd be here, so here I am."

"Five minutes to show-time!" Some random guy with a headset yells. Rachel looks around and all of the others are gathering. "Rachel, want to join us?" The guy asks, and gives me half a smile with his lips closed.

I nod at the direction I came from and say, "I should go. I'll be watching you from the front row." Her perfectly white smile comes out and her dimples grace her face. I touch them and pull her in for a soft kiss. "Break a leg, baby." I whisper while our mouths are still touching. "Love you."

She beams, "thank you. And I love you!" She says.

"Rach?" Someone else says. Ugh, okay. I'll let her go. I raise a hand in apology to the other cast members and turn around to leave when my eyes land on Harmony. She's already in the circle, but her eyes are trained on me. I don't quiver.

"Okay, guys! This is it!" Will starts to speak. Harmony's eyes flinch back to him and I walk back to my seat.

It looks like Santana is going to rip off Britt's hand with how tight she's holding onto it. I settle in and look immediately around me, looking for Finn, but the auditorium is packed, and it's dark now, and there's no way I could see him. I let this thought relax myself and lean in toward Santana and Brittany. "I saw Harmony. I didn't have a hissy fit." I shrug as if that's a win for me.

Santana laughs, "Tonight's going to be awful for you, isn't it?"

Brittany slaps her on the thigh and she winces, using a hand to rub at the spot, "you're not supposed to remind her of her misery."

"You're right, Britt-Britt. Sorry, Q. Just ignore Harmony, the entire time."

I wave it off, "whatever, you know? Rach and I got in a fight about this last night and she was right. I told her I'd be there for here, so..."

Tina leans in from behind me to hear the conversation, "Sorry to intrude. She told me about the fight. Just saying, though, I totally get where you're coming from."

I lean back so I can look at her, "yeah?"

"Sure," Britt shrugs, "it's not easy to be in love with someone. It's even harder when you have to watch another person pine for them, and then still deal with her ex all on the same night?" When did she become Ophra?

"Maybe you should've just toned down the psycho when she brought up the strap-on though." Mike says, casually and stares pointedly at the stage. I think he thinks that if he stares hard enough, the show will start faster.

I'm embarrassed. My cheeks are burning hot because apparently my girlfriend has no boundaries, and neither do my friends. Sam arrives, (oh my goodness, thank you!) and sits on the other side of Mike. "Mercedes said Rachel is really good. I can't wait to watch them both." He says and pats Mike a little too hard on his back. "What are we talking about?" He asks.

It looks like Tina's about to fill him in when the lights dim completely and then turn back on. The play begins. Saved.

I don't think I've ever been on my feet this fast. It was a toss-up between which one of us stood up faster, really, but I think I had a millisecond on Santana. We're both clapping and whopping loudly. It's like they released a sea of monkeys in the auditorium. We are those monkeys. Rachel's monkeys. There's something wrong with my head, clearly, but I don't care. Jesse and Rachel hold hands, step forward and take another bow. We cheer. Rachel takes Harmony's hand in her free one (and I remind myself to make her wash it - just in case), and then the company bows again.

So okay, Harmony's a pretty good actress. I will give her that. The entire time, she didn't even seem to be in love with Rachel. Or maybe my threat worked and she's working on moving on. Point is, it wasn't as bad as I thought and I don't feel like murdering her.

People start throwing roses on stage. Kurt grabs one excitedly, bouncing on the heels of his boots, and skips toward Blaine on the other side.

Rachel looks at me, winks, and blows me a kiss. Santana, Brittany, and Tina all pretend to fight for the kiss as it's "flying" toward me, but we all just end up bumping elbows into each other. I eventually win, take the kiss, and touch it to my heart. Rachel takes a curtsy, and they all disappear backstage.

The lot of us are talking right outside of the auditorium's doors, waiting for Rachel, the Wonder Twins and Mercedes. We're still to see Finn. Maybe he's not here after all.

I'm explaining something about my Anthropology course to Tina and Sam when I feel tiny hands cover my eyes and her body shakes while she's giggling. "Guess who?"

"Roxane!" I yell, people around us turn to look. "And I love you! And your eyes. And your lips. And when I see you I am weak with fear! " I start reciting - more like shouting with arms open wide - the same quote she told me once, making her laugh obnoxiously. She doesn't get embarrassed easily but right now she's trying to get me to stop by putting a hand over my mouth. When she succeeds and I shut up, our friends are looking at us with sweet smiles. I run my thumbs over her still rosy cheeks from the beach and I finish quietly, "forever yours." When we kiss, our friends have different reactions.

Santana says, "not again. All this tonguing will make me sick." She's kidding though. I've come to recognize when she means it and when she doesn't.

Sam looks away for a second but I realize he doesn't even care Rachel and I are kissing. He's just spotted Mercedes and she is making a run toward him. He catches her in his arms and they twirl. "You were so good!" He says.

Tina and Brittany aw at us.

Mike nods, completely okay with our display of affection. What a guy.

I look at Mercedes but Rachel's the one that asks, "where's Kurt?

"Oh, you know." She clears her throat, "his brother is here... Him and Blaine think it's best if they don't come over and say hey."

I want a chance to talk to Finn though. I still have to speak to him. Santana and I exchange looks. "I have to pee." I say, suddenly.

"Yeah, me too." Santana goes along with it. I'm still nervous about seeing him but hell if I'm not going to take my chances. She understands my feeling.

We walk away before anyone else has the chance to say anything.

I text Kurt asking him where they are, but he doesn't straight up tell me just yet.

Kurt: Rach told me that I have to keep you guys away from each other.

Quinn: If you don't tell me, I'll rip your Marc Jacobs collection with my bare hands. One. by. one.

Kurt: by the water fountains, next to the eastern exit.

I smirk. Success.

Kurt sees us first, so when his eyes widen and he steps forward, Finn turns, confused. Kurt steps in front of him and puts a hand up, and Blaine just looks like a kicked puppy.

"I know you threatened to end my life if I didn't tell you where we were but you never said anything about me trying to stop you when you were here. Think of your girlfriend, okay? She's going to kill me. And you!" His voice is shrill, rising at the end of every sentence.

I look at Finn, "don't worry, Kurt. I asked for her permission earlier this week." I don't stop looking at Finn. He looks like a deer caught in headlights. "Hi," I say.

Santana is standing next to me, arms crossed, as tall as she can get.

"L-look, I," he stammers, until he clears his throat and says, "I don't want any trouble. I'm only here for Kurt."

Santana's head drops to the side and she draws in breath through her mouth, "too bad I want trouble."

"I kinda do, too." I inform her and purse my lips. "You did kiss my girlfriend. And oh, yeah, you left her alone. Twice. Are you a moron?"

Kurt tries to defend him, "Come on, guys. He wasn't thinking..."

"Yes, clearly he wasn't. You deserve to be kicked in the nuts." I tell Finn.

"I was kind of hoping to just remove it altogether. He's already a dick, he doesn't need another one."

I smile, "so, Finn. What I want to make sure you understand is that when you mess with Santana or Rachel now you're messing with me. And yes, I know," I tell him as casual as I can, "I know I didn't know them then. But I know them now, and I really, really, really want to strangle you for everything you put them through."

He gulps. I step forward. "Hey -" He says and takes a step back, keeping the distance.

"The correct, honorable thing for you to do now, Finn Hudson, is to just take the consequences as they come. You know, like a man." He looks at me confused. I explain, "you know how sometimes in the movies you see the bad guy being thrown into a room and in said room - with no windows mind you - there is one single object?"

Santana closes her eyes and nods her head, agreeing with that contempt face. "A gun, Q."

"A gun." I reassure her. Finn looks scared. "A gun with one single bullet. And the bad guy understands that that bullet is for him to do the correct, honorable thing. Take his own life."

Finn says, "you have a gun?" And I almost laugh at his face.

"No, you idiot." Santana snaps and shakes her head with discontempt etched across it. She stares at him like she's trying really hard to understand how someone can be so dull.

I chuckle, "no. We don't have a gun. But the most correct, honorable thing for you to do right now, is let me hurt you."

Santana hums in agreement. Blaine's face distorts. Kurt whimpers.

Finn seems relieved. "You can't hurt me." He says simply.

I look at Santana, and she says, "we should've just brought a gun."

I joke along, "thought about it but I'm pretty sure that's a felony."

"Wait, what are you guys going to do?"

No, I didn't kill him, but making Finn Hudson strip to his underwear and then kicking him in the nuts (Santana did that before anybody else could stop her), was an okay revenge. I'm sure he's never going to want to come to NY again. We watch him walk around the crowd, humiliated, covering his boy parts even though he's in his whitey tighties. Rachel looks appalled when I see her reaction from across the lobby. She seems like she's gonna make a run for him, but instead looks for me and Santana.

She calls me over with a finger. I drag Santana in front of me as protection.

Kurt seems pretty angry at me and runs after Finn, and Blaine runs after Kurt.

"Really?" She asks. "Was that necessary? Kicking a person when he's already down?"

"It's sort of a pride thing, Rachel. You wouldn't understand." I say.

Santana chirps in with an "amen," and a raised hand which reminds me of Artie. Rachel's death glare switches to her.

"And you! You go along with this?"

"I had fun," she shrugs, "Q and I could totally start, like, a cheer mafia."

Rachel crosses her arm, "the only reason why I'm not scolding you both right now is because you - damn it, you asked me permission to talk to him and I didn't say no. If I knew that that's what talking was..."

I look at her and I can't contain the childish grin that wants to burst out of me. I just laugh, "oh, come on. You have to admit it, it was kind of funny."

She doesn't meet my eyes.

"Yeah, it was hella funny." Mercedes says. Sam nods along. Britt starts laughing. Mike and Tina join in.

"I didn't even really notice you guys left," Mike says. "Classic prank you pulled on him though. Great stuff."

Rachel tries just a little harder not to laugh, but eventually we win.

She's lying completely on her back, and I'm completely on top of her, my elbows are on each side of her face. She has the cutest smile on, and her dimples - those dimples kill me every time. Her legs are parted so I can fit there.

"You were really good." I tell her again. "Probably my favorite after Jesse."

She hits my waist, hard, "Hey!"

I laugh, "I'm kidding." I kiss her supple lips and she closes her eyes and then when I pull away she hums. "You were brilliant. A star in the making."

"Thank you. Thank you so much for being there."

"I don't think I would've been able not to go. I would've given in at the last minute, hadn't you asked me."

She chuckles. I feel her stomach rise and fall pressed up under mine, "I was hoping that."

"When do you go in the studio to record the song for the video?" I ask her, as I move some of her hair from her face, and observe her features.

She thinks for a while, "I think they'll only need me on Saturday."

"I'll come with you." I tell her.

"Sounds good." She says and then yawns.

"Ready for bed?"

"We are in bed."

"Ready for sleep?"

"So ready. Good night." She closes her eyes, already giving in to her body's needs, kisses my lips again and I kiss her nose.

"Night, principessa."

"The video is awesome!" She says all enthusiasm. "You're so good in it. After you got over the whole dating a stranger thing, you really pulled it off. I really believed you were in love when I was watching our scene again."

I laugh and pick up the books from my desk, and walk out of the class, finding myself in an ocean of students needing to go to class. "When do I get to watch it?"

"They're having a small club meeting on Monday evening, after all the editing is done, just for us. You can come and bring Rachel and stuff. They're only going to show the school the video next year though. At the very beginning of Fall semester."

"Very cool. I'm sure it's really great. Rachel will be excited to attend. She's recording that song on Saturday."

"Oh," she gasps, "she's amazing. That'll be the best part of the video. Chris discussed it with me where he wants to put the song."

It sounds amazing actually, I can picture it in my head. I hold the phone in between my shoulder and ear as I try to shift some stuff in my left hand to my right and vice versa. I have two minutes to get to my next class and not be late. I have a quiz so if I get there late I'll miss time to work on it. "I can't wait to watch it. But, hey, I have to go. I got a quiz and so... but thank you for calling! I'll see you Monday, then?"

"For sure, Q. See you!"

The rest of the week and the weekend go by pretty fast. I attend all of Rachel's performances, and I sit front row in all of them. Santana's transition into the cheerleading world here on campus is pretty flawless. She had already met a lot of the cheerleaders at my party, but cheering with them is different. She was welcomed with open arms, and even Coach Sylvester couldn't get enough of her ("Sandbags! Demonstrate that again!") Saturday goes by in a flash. Rachel records the song for the video in two takes and that's only "just in case," as Matt explained. Matt is the guy in charge of all the sound stuff for the video.

Sunday comes and goes with a lot of studying. Exams are closing in on everyone. Two weeks and school is out. This week is study week and then next week is exams week. Santana is finally declaring a major - Psychology. She says she wants to understand just what the hell goes on in people's minds so she can help others like herself. Also, she heard of this neat little course called Human Sexuality and she took a really big interest in it. I personally think she'll be great at it. Rachel agrees. Brittany said she'd swear it on her mother.

Monday is the day I've been living for these past days. I'm so excited about watching the video and I'm so proud of the work the LGBT club did. Everyone did a marvelous job, and I really want Rachel to watch it and be proud of me.

This time we don't even try to do the thing where everyone meets at Rachel's and we leave together. We just make plans so everyone can meet at the place they're showing the video, which is the same spot they had the Coffee House thing.

The room is set up in rows of blue chairs, and a white screen in front. I see Erica and Rachel and I walk over to her. "Hey," I say and air-kiss her cheek. She does it back and then moves in for Rachel.

"Hi, guys. This is going to be great," she promises.

"I'm so excited!" Rachel basically squeals. She squeezes my fingers and I look at them, then at her, and smile.

James approaches us too, drinking ginger ale. "I think this is going to really impact our school's community. Hi," he says and hugs me then Rachel. He waves at someone and a tall, tan man with dark eyes comes close and holds him by the waist. "This is my boyfriend, Brandon."

We exchange handshakes and hugs, and mingle for a little bit until Chris says they're ready. Santana manages to walk in just then, late, but still there. Britt's smile is radiant. They both look positively vibrant, and I've never seen Santana more sure of herself.

Kurt comes up with Blaine in tow, "So guess what?"

"What?" I ask as we find out way to a row of chairs.

"Finn actually made it to LA. But you won't guess what other piece of juicy information I have that Harmony's been keeping from you." He points at Rachel and wiggles his eyebrows.

"Tell me!" She says, already excited for gossip.

"It's kind of odd," Blaine starts to warn us, but then he's interrupted by James' booming voice.

He is standing near the projector with Erica and Chris framing him. "Thank you all for coming to one more of our club's meetings. This is just a showcase of the video we've been working on this past week to help end bullying, especially targeting LGBT youth."

"We could not have done it without the help of a lot of you in here, and a special thanks to Santana Lopez, and Simon King." The room erupts in well-deserved applause and I make sure to make eye contact with Santana to let her know I'm congratulating her. The two look at each other with shy glances and then stand up to thank everyone with a silent gesture of the hand. "Also, a thank you to Rachel Berry for singing the amazing cover of Fun.'s Carry On, and for inspiring the title for the video." She looks bashful for only about a second, her big saucers looking around under eyelashes, and then stands up to receive the applause. I pull her down and kiss her on the cheek with a sound smack.

"Well, without further ado," Chris says and points at the guy behind the computer, "we present to you: Keep Calm and Carry On."

The screen is dark. The piano introduction plays and the guitar joins in with a few chords. Rachel's voice breaks through.

Well, I woke up to the silence of cars  
Were cutting like knives in a fist fight  
And I found you with the bottle of wine  
Your head in the curtains  
And heart like the fourth of july  
You swore and said,"We are not.. we are not shining stars"  
This I know I never said we are  
Though I've never been through hell like that  
I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back

The screen is fuzzy for about three seconds and then chattering begins. Laughter. The screen starts to light up and the image starts to become a lot more clearer, and you can see that a boy is being distinguished because he's the only one in purple. As he walks down the hallway at school, people shove him into lockers and snicker before walking away. He goes home at the end of the day, and crying, writes a letter to his parents explaining that yes, he is gay, and no, he can't take it anymore.

He goes downstairs, drinks one last cup of water before setting the letter down on the counter, and makes his way up the stairs again.

Dreadfully, slowly, like his shoes are made of stones, but he can't take it anymore. He drags his way to the closet, where he finds that belt that's too big for his scrawny figure and ties it around his bunk bed, the one he shares with his nine year old brother. He's only fifteen, it's not like knows any better.

Finally, he goes to the open window and closes it. He doesn't want the sun and the bright blue sky to be witness to this. He walks back over to where the belt is hanging, takes a breath and loops the other end of the belt around his neck.

Rachel's voice comes back in.

If you're lost and alone  
Or you're sinking like a stone  
Carry on  
May your past be the sound  
Of your feet upon the ground  
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

He doesn't jump. The image freezes and starts to rewind as the song picks up. The young boy is seen rushing to remove the loop, to the window, opening it, taking down the belt, and dropping it inside his closet; making his way downstairs and picking up the letter, putting the water back in the fridge, and then making his way back up. The words on the paper disappear as his hand moves the opposite direction and then he puts it all back in the drawer. His body makes its way back to school, backwards, but he makes it there and walks back through the hallways. He passes laughing students that help him up and look at him seriously to make sure he's okay, until he's standing in front of his locker. Standing and frozen. On the screen: REWIND BULLYING.

So I met up with some friends  
at the edge of the night  
At a bar off 75  
And we talked and talked  
about how our parents will die  
All our neighbours and wives

But I like to think  
I can cheat it all  
To make up for the times I've been cheated on  
And it's nice to know  
When I was left for dead  
I was found and now I don't roam these streets  
I am not the ghost you want of me

While the song is playing, the screen turns completely white and on it, reads: The LGBT Club presents,

directed by: Chris Leslie

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON.

The people in the room starting clapping and hooting. The screen cuts to an image of Santana. It's in black and white, and her hair is pulled up. She's sitting on the stool, her eyes are laughing. This is right after Rachel had sang the song. The song keeps playing in the background, but it's the instrumental version.

She laughs at something someone says outside of the screen and then points at the camera in front of her and asks, "right here, right?"

Chris' voice says, "yeah." And there's some more laughter. I find myself smiling.

"Hi, my name is Santana Lopez and I'm," she shrugs, "I'm pretty gay." She chuckles and then, "wait. Was I supposed to say lesbian?" She looks around but the lights are blinding her.

Chris says, "it doesn't matter." And laughs. I hear James' laugh too.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'm eighteen now and this is my freshmen year in college. So far I'm undeclared. I cheer. Well, I used to, and then I did again. But more on that later." She flashes a smile at the camera and shakes her head. "Does my voice sound funny to you? Because it sounds really weird in my head." She comments at where Chris' voice is coming from.

"You sound fine, Santana." He reassures her, "Just keep talking."She shakes her hands and dries them on her jeans. "Okay, well, I could lie and say I'm not nervous, but this is pretty nerve-wrecking. My best friend is sitting right..." she squints, "well, there somewhere and... that's basically where I'm getting the strength to keep talking."

She bashfully looks down.

"Hey, my name is Simon King." He squints at the camera and touches his nose a couple of times. "I'm in the Music program here. I belong to the fight club here on campus." He laughs, "I'm kidding. Because if I weren't I'd be in major trouble. Speaking of trouble, I'm gay. Trouble for the boys." He laughs and slaps his thigh. "They all want me - straight or gay."

Santana's voice is on voice-over when I show up on screen. Rachel squeezes my hand.

"Well, like I said, I'm a cheerleader." I'm putting on my makeup. I fix the mascara on my lower lid and my mouth pops open. I'm getting ready for a date. The screen's colors come back up. "And I was always worried about reputation and my looks." I run a thumb over my mouth and then put some lipstick on.

"The boys chased after me because my cheerleading skirt was always a little higher than the others." The shot focuses on my hand picking up the blush. Bright hazel eyes on the mirror. I blink. "You know, I guess I did what people expected of me. I cheered at the football games, I hooked up with the boys at parties, and I dominated the hallways of the school, bullying on those beneath me."

I smile on-screen and pick up my phone when it vibrates. It reads: 'Be right there, sweetie.' And the sender is "Baby." I sigh, hopelessly in love and set the phone back down. I pick up the brush on top of my dresser and fix my hair.

"Speaking of bullying, my best friend, Rachel, suffered a lot in my hands. And for that, I'll always be sorry. I think it's mostly because she would always still offer a helping hand and I knew she could read through me, even before I admitted I liked girls."

A voice that's not Santana's yells, "Sweetie, your date's here!" And it's Erica's voice - playing my mother.

I yell back, "Send them up, mom!"

"But anyways, I was a cheerleader, the captain and I had everything I wanted. Power, looks, popularity. But, I wasn't happy." I look around my room on-screen and there are pictures of me mid-jumps, up at the top of the pyramid, and on the wall, a banner with our school's logo. Pom-poms hang to the side.

There are audible footsteps as someone comes up the stairs and I rush back to the mirror to finish the last touches.

A knock.

"And then everyone found out I was into girls and my life turned upside down." Her voice sounds serious.

I turn and by the threshold, Gaea. She smiles and says, "Hi," and uncrosses her arms. She smiles with her lips closed but it's genuine.

"Hey, baby. I missed you." I say to Gaea's character. I look at Rachel when she tightens her hold of my hand and her eyes are narrowed at the screen. I'm sure she can tell I'm looking but she doesn't look back.

"I don't know why people are so surprised to find out that I am a cheerleader and that yes, I am gay. At the same time!" She laughs on the voice-over.

Gaea meets me halfway, and says, "And I missed you -"' she twists her face at me in an adorable manner and I giggle on-screen. She leans in and kisses me and I respond accordingly. We had to do this take three times because I couldn't get that kiss right. "Ready?" She offers me her hand and I take it shyly.

"Let's go."

"No," Santana keeps talking, "that doesn't mean I look up every cheerleader's skirt. I don't like every girl I see. I don't want to sleep with every one of my friends who are girls. But yes, I do find my girlfriend attractive, and when I go on dates, I get all girly and get ready for her. And it's nice to hear her tell me I look beautiful."

"You look beautiful, by the way." On-screen Gaea says to on-screen me. I look at what I'm wearing and then at her with my hands at my sides, looking coy.

"Thanks," I bite my lip and she grins.

"And when she tells me she loves me, I finally get what the world is talking about when they talk about love." Santana explains and I remember watching her record that and shrug.

"I love you, beautiful." Gaea tells me, winks.

"I love you." I say, so sure of my feelings for her.

Gaea takes me out by the hand and the screen goes dark. It cuts back to black and white Santana.

"Junior year of high school, my now-best friend's ex boyfriend -" she laughs and itches her neck, "so that's the ex boyfriend of my now best friend; if that helps - he was really upset over something I said. Of course I had been pushing him to the edge, you know, bullying him and playing around. That *bleep* idiot was just like a constant weight on your bladder you know? Annoying as *bleep*. Anyway, at them time I was so into the closet, I didn't even know there was a door to come out..." she laughs. "It was that bad. But it was worse to fall in love with a girl on my squad and have to pretend I was into the boys chasing me. I wasn't. And somehow, that douchebag picked up on the fact that I was hopelessly in love, completely head over for her. And one day..." she hesitates for the first time since she started talking. "One day he told the world, and life as I knew it fell apart."


	25. Fix A Heart (Demi Lovato)

Santana's voice is on voice-over when Quinn shows up on screen. I'm so excited to watch her debut in the arts that I squeeze her hand without even realizing it.

"Well, like I said, I'm a cheerleader." Quinn looks breathtaking. She's in front of a dresser in her room, sitting, properly poised. I've seen her get ready often now to know that that's exactly how she sits when she's doing this. The camera focuses on her repeatedly fixing the mascara on her lower eyelid until she's satisfied, and her mouth automatically pops up. It forms an 'O,' and her lips look really cute like that. The color comes back up slowly. "And I was always worried about reputation and my looks." Her thumb runs over her lips and she puts on lipstick.

"The boys chased after me because my cheerleading skirt was always a little higher than the others." The shot focuses on her gracious hand picking up the blush. Bright hazel eyes on the mirror. She blinks. "You know, I guess I did what people expected of me. I cheered at the football games, I hooked up with the boys at parties, and I dominated the hallways of the school, bullying on those beneath me."

The phone vibrates and she smiles. I smile because look at her up there. The text reads: 'Be right there, sweetie.' And the sender is "Baby." She looks enamored by the text and sighs smitten. I remind myself that this is just a video and smile when she picks up the brush to fix her hair.

"Speaking of bullying, my best friend, Rachel, suffered a lot in my hands. And for that, I'll always be sorry. I think it's mostly because she would always still offer a helping hand and I knew she could read through me, even before I admitted I liked girls." At this, I grab Santana's hand on the other side of me and squeeze it tight, and I see her hide her face on Britt's shoulder. It's endearing. I squeeze tighter and let go.

A voice that's not Santana's yells, "Sweetie, your date's here!" I guess that's someone playing Quinn's mom.

"Send them up, mom!" She yells and keeps fixing her hair.

"But anyways, I was a cheerleader, the captain and I had everything I wanted. Power, looks, popularity. But, I wasn't happy." Quinn's gaze shifts around the room and there are pictures of Quinn mid-jumps, up at the top of the pyramid, and on the wall, a banner with our school's logo. Pom-poms hang to the side.

There are audible footsteps as someone comes up the stairs and she rushes back to the mirror to finish the last touches. She's so worried about looking perfect for this person. I kind of expect my own face to show up on screen and I giggle before dropping my head on her shoulder. Hers drop on top of mine.

A knock.

"And then everyone found out I was into girls and my life turned upside down."

When she turns, Gaea. She smiles and says, "Hi," and uncrosses her arms, expecting Quinn to come to her and hug her. A cold sensation shots up my spine and my jaw tightens.

"Hey, baby. I missed you." Quinn says. I grip her hand harder and she looks at me, but I don't look back. In my head I count to ten slowly, and exhale slowly. Acting, acting. This is what I do. Act, so I have to understand.

"I don't know why people are so surprised to find out that I am a cheerleader and that yes, I am gay. At the same time!" Santana laughs on the voice-over and I relax, smile too.

They walk up to each other and Gaea says, "And I missed you -"' She makes a sickeningly adorable face and Quinn giggles and I burn. I know it's coming. I can tell by the way Gaea leans in, but only just so, so Quinn can meet her. Their lips touch and I close my eyes. When I open them again, their lips are just moving away. Just acting. Quinn had to see me kiss Jesse multiple times this past weekend and she wasn't bothered. The fact that I'm a lesbian and he's gay has nothing to do with that, right? And that as of right now, Gaea is... undetermined? "Ready?" Gaea says, offering her hand to Quinn.

"Let's go." Quinn's smile steals the moment, my eyes fixate on it.

"No," Santana keeps talking, "that doesn't mean I look up every cheerleader's skirt. I don't like every girl I see. I don't want to sleep with every one of my friends who are girls. But yes, I do find my girlfriend attractive, and when I go on dates, I get all girly and get ready for her. And it's nice to hear her tell me I look beautiful." I concentrate on listening to Santana.

"You look beautiful, by the way." On-screen Gaea says to on-screen Quinn. She looks coy, adorable, and ready for another girl.

Quinn says, "Thanks," through a lip bite.

"And when she tells me she loves me, I finally get what the world is talking about when they talk about love." Santana explains.

"I love you, beautiful." Gaea says, and winks.

Without hesitation Quinn tells her, "I love you." My stomach twists, and I will my eyes not to shed tears. Not here, not right now, not because of this. It's such a stupid reason to be feeling like this. Or is it? It's too much for me to be thinking about, and I'm here for Santana, too. I gotta admit that Quinn's acting was really good. I really believed she was in love with that girl. Mostly because I recognized the look she is giving her. That's my look right there.

Gaea takes her out by the hand and the screen goes dark. It cuts back to black and white Santana.

"Junior year of high school, my now-best friend's ex boyfriend -" she laughs and itches her neck, "so that's the ex boyfriend of my now best friend; if that helps - he was really upset over something I said. Of course I had been pushing him to the edge, you know, bullying him and playing around. That *bleep* idiot was just like a constant weight on your bladder you know? Annoying as *bleep*. Anyway, at the time I was so into the closet, I didn't even know there was a door to come out..." she laughs. "It was that bad. But it was worse to fall in love with a girl on my squad and have to pretend I was into the boys chasing me. I wasn't. And somehow, that douchebag picked up on the fact that I was hopelessly in love, completely head over for her. And one day..." she hesitates for the first time since she started talking. "One day he told the world, and life as I knew it fell apart."

I look at Santana and her eyes are trained on herself on the screen. She's beautiful, right here in front of me, and on the screen. I peck her cheek, out of impulse and when she turns to me, she mouths, 'Goof.' We giggle and she turns to say something to Britt.

There is clear editing because there is a shift on the camera and the audio and Santana asks, as if answering another question, "When it happened?" She hums, pondering, remembering. Her brows furrow and then she says, "It was on a Tuesday, I think. I passed by him on the way to another class and he had been really bitter because of some Glee club bull*bleep*. I pushed him to the edge- I see that now - and as a response he said something like -" She breathes in on-screen and next to me.

She straightens herself, looks straight into the camera and repeats Finn's words, word for word, "You're just a *bleep* all the time because you're in love with her and she doesn't love you back! You're a disgusting lesbian and you only sleep with guys because you want to prove to everyone else you're straight!"

The screen goes dark. My voice comes back up.

If you're lost and alone  
Or you're sinking like a stone  
Carry on  
May your past be the sound  
Of your feet upon the ground  
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

Shots of a girl's legs running down the hallway of a school. They're sneakers. White. Like the kind Santana used to wear for cheerleading. They take her down the hallway, into a room with a piano. Then more sounds of running. A lot of laughter. And then the door bursts open and another girl comes in, picks the first one up in her arms and starts to soothe her.

Cut. Santana's eyes. She closes them and shakes her head as the camera zooms out. "Rachel came running after me. I couldn't face the school. I couldn't face myself. I thought I was disgusting, just like he had called. I was only sleeping with the boys to prove myself that I was straight... He took my biggest and most revolting secret and laid it out for everyone to see. But - I'm telling you. This girl," on screen she looks for me again, "she knew I was breaking down, and she *bleep* knew that I wasn't going to ask for anyone's sympathy or help. After all, I was a *bleep*. She didn't care. She saw me. She. God, she literally saved me. I can't describe to you how good it feels to be picked up mid-air after you feel like someone pushed you off a cliff." Santana doesn't cry. Her eyes are not even teary, but she runs a hand over them anyway - they're probably threatening her. And, even though I was there when she recorded this, I'm starting to feel the need to shed tears again. This time her hand finds mine.

The video is silent as Santana gathers her thoughts. "For an entire week," she smiles sadly, "I cried at home. I didn't want to face my peers, my parents, or my teachers. I vaguely remember Rachel taking me home, stripping me off my uniform, and taking me to the shower. No -" she rolls her eyes, "no sexy time happened, pervs." Then she gets serious again, "That's the day I earned respect for her. And the day I realized that something about me was worth saving. Worth caring for, otherwise this girl that I had hated, absolutely despised, wouldn't have bothered. And maybe it's just because Rachel has the biggest heart I've ever known, or it wouldn't have mattered if it was me or a stranger that Finn had outed. But it was me. And she made me believe. She didn't care that I was a cheerleader breaking the status quo. She didn't ask about my sexuality. She didn't bring up all the years I put her through hell. She was just there. And that made me believe. So that is why I agreed to do this." The camera pans out again and it's only her voice, over images of Santana sitting on a bench outside of a building. The skies are bright and people pass by and wave at her.

She smiles and waves back, pulls her jacket closer to her body, and looks around, looking for someone. "I agreed because I have to tell others what Rachel reminds me of, almost everyday - keep calm and carry on. She taught me to breathe again, and that people love me despite who I love. She has told me multiple times that the people who matter won't care. And it's true."

Britt! Britt shows up on screen and Santana's smile widens. My voice comes back.

Show me how  
No one's ever gonna stop us now

Cause we are  
We are shining stars  
We are invincible  
We are who we are  
On our darkest day  
When we're miles away  
Sun will come  
We will find our way home

"Yeah, yeah. I was lucky and I had a friend to pull me out of the roughest of times in my life. But I guarantee you that you have someone. I promise. And you are invincible. Don't be let down by others' thoughts of you. Just know that you are special. You are a star and you are important. It gets better. Trust me. Rachel met this *bleep* of a cheerleader here- Quinn Fabray, I don't know if you know her -" the people laugh, "-and she introduced me to the most beautiful girl I've ever met. She's adorable. She's all that is good in this world."

Brittany and Santana are sitting on the bench together. Cut. Santana's laughing eyes again. Just like in the beginning.

If you're lost and alone

Or you're sinking like a stone  
Carry on  
May your past be the sound  
Of your feet upon the ground  
Carry on

"I understand now. That I am worthy of the love Britt has for me. And I am surrounded by great friends, and family who accept me for who I am. Bullying is destructive. Corrosive. Stupid. Don't *bleep* do it. It's all I'm saying. If you're straight and feel threatened - man up. We probably wouldn't date you anyway. If you're like me, and you're going through what I went through - self-doubt, hate - don't do it. Reach out. Promise?" She asks the camera, and tilts her head just so, expecting an answer. She puts up her pinky and says, "pinky promise."

Carry on, carry on

The song ends as the screen goes dark, the credits start to roll, and her laughter breaks through. "How was that?" She asks. "Do you want me to try again?"

"It was perfect, Santana." James' voice.

"Good. I'm glad. The credits are over and she comes back up.

"Carry on," Santana finishes and smiles. It's a shot from when I had finished the song and she had said that to the crew. She looks carefree and happy. I've never been so proud.

"You've been awfully quiet." Quinn remarks on our way back.

"Me?"

She looks around, nobody else in sight. "Do you see anybody else I could be talking to?"

"I'm fine." I say. I sound unconvincing to my own ears. She sighs and runs a hand through her hair. I smile at her, but falter. "You were really good though. Your debut was a success - I'm worried for my career now."

She laughs, or attempts to anyway, and says, "Don't worry. I'm never doing something like that again. I felt so awkward the entire time through."

"It's a thrill!" I say, trying to make the tension go away. Just go away!

We stop in front of her dorm, "are you coming up?" She asks, unsure.

I shake my head, "I have an essay for my class due tomorrow that I haven't finished yet."

"Oh, yeah, that's right." She mumbles. Then she presses her eyes shut, "Rachel, are we okay?" Her eyes fall on mine when she opens them and I feel my chest close in on itself.

I try to clear the air asap, "yeah, yeah. Of course we are. I just really have to finish writing that paper and you know how hard it is for me to concentrate when you're around." I avoid her eyes and grab her by the back of her neck, kissing her cheek. "Good night."

She mutters, "good night." And I leave her on the front steps.

Protection.

It's the name of the game.

I'm protecting my heart because it feels like at any time, it is going to be shattered.

I busy myself with studying and writing papers, and getting assignments done so I don't have to think about the past week. I have lunch with Kurt, sometimes Tina. I spend extra hours practicing my dancing in the dance studio, and longer hours practicing my singing. It's the end of the semester but it doesn't mean I can slack.

Mr. Willows and April Rhodes both came up to me at the end of my final performance last week and told me just how magnificent I was. I need to still be good. I can't let other factors influence my career.

Focus.

That's what I need to be doing. My head was so deep into this that I almost threw away the best opportunity of a career that I had for Quinn. I love her, I really do, but - holy hell, what was I thinking? It's a good thing they backed down and didn't push on the issue.

I miss her. I mean, we talk every night, but we don't talk. Sometimes she'll find me between classes to give me a kiss or bring me a bottle of water or coffee, but there's no time to talk. I know she wants to ask, but I also know that she's scared of my reaction if she does.

So, yes. We're both avoiding the topic. Dancing around it, and hoping that somehow it'll vanish, but it lingers. It persists. I'll be reading a text for class and all of a sudden, I'll think of the video and just how awful it made me feel. It only grows worse, inside my head. Because I analyze it and I shouldn't think too much, but that's what I do. It was odd watching her act in love with someone else. It was incredibly uncomfortable and - it triggered this self-doubt that maybe, just maybe it could happen. That that's what it'd look like if she moved on from me, and this is how awful I'd feel. And I just can't.

Santana comes in the room with a smile but soon it disappears. She's sweating from every pore but she looks the happiest I've ever seen her. "Hey," she says, clearly confused, "what are you doing here?"

I get up, fix my sweats, and walk over to the mini-fridge to grab a water. "Studying," I say. She narrows her eyes at me.

"Here?" She questions and starts to remove her workout clothes. First she takes off the white shirt clinging to every curve of her body and throws it behind the door, removing the shorts next. "In our room? Where's Quinn?"

"I assumed you were with her." I say, a vague response to all of her questions. I sit back down, cross my legs and lean over my World Civ book again. I read the sentence three times over and over to even be able to say I understood one word. I can feel her eyes on the back of my head. "Stop looking at me like that." I say.

She snaps into action and grabs a new towel from the top cabinet on her side. "This is just odd. You always study with Quinn." She squats to look for something inside the closet.

"It's kind of distracting," I smile despite the way I'm feeling. "Can't keep our hands to ourselves." I mutter with the pen stuck between my teeth as I fix the hair on top of my head.

"Really, Berry." She says, and wraps the towel around her neck as she gets up. She sits on my desk and I roll my eyes. She scoots my papers and books over, removes the pen from my mouth rather forcefully, and then stares me down. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I say.

"Really?" She narrows her eyes.

"Really."

"So if I were to ask you why Quinn is being insufferable to her cheerleaders this past week - you wouldn't know why?"

"She is?" I question.

She nods, "and if I were to ask you why she's been eating a lot of lunches this past week with my girlfriend?"

I clear my throat, "I -" Choke.

"So, just tell me." She says with finality.

I exhale and drop my head back. "I don't know what it is."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm freaking out."

"About?"

"Quinn." I wince because I don't even have to think about the answer to that question.

She kicks my knee with her toes, I open my eyes, "why?" I close my eyes again, willing the question away.

"I don't want to talk about it?"

"Nice try. Go on - speak."

We're all having a good time. I'm mostly winding down from this week where all I've done is pretend I was fine. Santana and Kurt decided we should all hang out this Saturday night because finals week is coming up and we need to relax before we fry our brains starting Monday. We're all at Mike's, seeing as he is the only one of us who lives off campus so far, and we're all watching Sam and Mike wrestle.

I'm currently on Quinn's lap, nursing a beer, and she is running a hand up and down my back. It gives me the shivers a couple of times, and I giggle every time. She puts her face on my back to hide from the disgrace happening in front of us. I feel her smile at Sam's shirt being ripped. "You guys are insane. Get off from him, Mike." Mercedes chastises and comes in from the kitchen to stop the madness. A collective aw is heard through the apartment when she grabs Sam's arm and pulls him up and away from under Mike.

"Wuss," Santana says to Sam, "getting manhandled by your girlfriend like that."

"Okay! Who do we want to see up next?" Mike asks, placing a hand on Tina's shoulder to steady himself. "Blaine?" Blaine shakes his head no and picks up another cheese from the platter in front of him.

"I'll go!" Quinn says.

"What?" I ask her, turning around to meet her eyes.

She shrugs, "what? Could be fun, right?"

"Who do you challenge?" Mike asks.

She gets up from under me, gives my butt a smack, and says, "why, Rachel, of course."

Everybody makes catcalling noises and she puts a finger up and calls me over. She's now standing on the empty spot between the living room area and the dinner room without a table. I shake my head, "babe. No."

"Oh, come on, Rach. Be a good sport!" Tina says.

I itch my head, "Quinn. It's like -"

"It'll be like watching them get it on." Santana says with a grimace. "We're totally going to figure out who usually tops."

I laugh awkwardly, "see, Quinn. Sit back down. I was comfortable." I whine.

She laughs and extends her hand, "oh, come on. Don't be a sour puss," and irks a challenging eyebrow at me.

I look around and eight pairs of eyes are fixed on me -Mercedes and Sam are back from the bedroom where she found him one of Mike's shirts for him to put on, and Kurt is back from the kitchen, settling next to Blaine and crossing his legs. "Fine." I give in. "But no funny business." I warn the guys. They all shake their heads and promise no videos will be recorded. I smile as I set my beer down and strut over to where Quinn is waiting with her hands on her hips. Her eyes are trained on mine. "Are you sure about this?"

She licks her lips and says, "definitely. I can take you down, Berry."

"This is going to be so good." Sam says and sits on one of the sofa's armrest.

"I wouldn't be so sure," I warn her.

She steps up, cranks her neck one side then the other, and whispers, "We'll see."

"Oh, the fucking sexual tension is unbearable. Just get on with it!" Santana hollers.

Quinn leans in and kisses me. I open my mouth and my head drops to the right, and she uses this moment to hold my bicep and - "Ouch." I say when my back hits the floor. Within a second she's on top of me holding my arms to the floor.

"Holy fuck, I was not expecting this to be so hot." Sam says and Mercedes slaps his arm.

I struggle, swinging my legs, but I can't move. I smirk and use my thigh to connect it right between her legs. It's been almost an entire week since we actually had sex. I've been aching for her touch. I can feel how wet she is when my naked thigh - my shorts are kind of short - hits her center. She whimpers and loosens her hold for just a moment but it's so enough for me to turn us around.

We both don't want to lose, and our friends are encouraging us both with hollers, yells, and a lot of clapping. She holds my hand and throws it over my head, but I manage to grab on to her waist and tickle her, making her squirm and lose control again. She grunts when her back hits the floor. I laugh and she licks her lips. I want to grab them with my teeth, so I lean forward with that intention. She raises her leg and throws it over me, successfully sitting on my stomach.

"Damn." Mercedes mutters.

"That's so hot." Brittany says.

"Someone count to ten," Quinn says without averting her eyes from mine. I'm still trying to get away from her grip, but she won't bulge. She has a self-satisfied smile on her lips and I just want to get it off.

"1... 2..." They all start at the same time. I shake my hips to see if I can still make it out, but she simply lets her body descend over mine, pining me further. "10! Quinn wins!" Mike says. They all clap and she gets up, readjusts her shirt and shorts and offers me a hand. I take it. I'm so hot and bothered and wet though, I want nothing more than to take her to Mike's room and ravish her.

I grab my beer with my free hand on our way back to the reclining chair we had been sitting on, and she pulls me to her lap after she sits. "And that's how it's done." She says and laughs. I absolutely adore her laugh. It's so comforting, but energetic.

I groan, "now I'm going to have to listen to her brag about this for the rest of my life." I hold her face with the hand currently not holding a bottle of beer and force her to look me in the eyes. There's mischief and a hint of... anger? Maybe? My forehead connects with her cheek and I kiss it, lingering in the feeling of her smooth skin against my lips. It tingles. She shifts on the chair and wraps me up.

"That was pretty fucking awesome," Santana admits.

"Cheerleader legs," Quinn says casually. "I always win when I want to." She winks at Sam and his cheeks get impossibly red.

We walk in my room and her hands are already traveling up my sides, underneath my shirt, and then palming my breasts. I groan and throw my head back. It hits her collarbone. She walks us further into the room and continues grabbing me roughly. "I need your shirt to be off, now." She says.

I take it off and turn in her arms to look at her in the eyes. "Yours, too." I say and she does it, she's not wearing a bra. Then she reaches behind me and undoes mine. She dips her head to look me in the eyes and kisses me, our eyes open and connected. It's like she's searching for something, but I don't know what.

"Shorts."

I unzip my own, while she does hers, and our hands hit awkwardly because neither of us wants to move away to do so. Her mouth opens and I lick her tongue over and over. We manage to drop our shorts and step away without breaking from each other.

She grabs me by the waist and turns me around, leading me - pushing me - toward the wall. I place my hands up on the wall for support and she tweaks my nipples, hardening to her touch. "I love you." She whispers against my shoulderblades. She strokes her tongue across my shoulders, leaves a wet kiss on my left shoulder, and then trails her mouth up to my ear.

"I love you."

She chuckles and the warm air falls on my ear, tickling. I let one of my hands find her head, threading my fingers through her short hair, and pull her closer. My back arches, and she follows along - her smooth skin, warm and sweaty - never letting mine. My breasts press up against the hard wood and her hands palm them from the sides, crawling down to my hips. "Do you know how much I wanted to take you on Chang's floor?" She asks. She lightly grazes her fingertips over my thong's waistband. I moan, and use my right hand to hold her arm by the wrist. I take it and lead it to where I need it - where it's aching. Gloriously. "Hum?"

She cups me and squeezes, "yess," I moan. My muscles clench, needing.

"And I've fucking missed you." She explains while her hand dips into my underwear. I feel her, all over me, around me. Her lips touch my back. Her fingers dip into my folds and start to massage. I explode on the inside, grabbing her wrist tighter and forcing her to move harder. She doesn't though. She steps even closer and squats to level my ass. She kisses each cheek and then turns me again. I hurry to remove my thong, and she helps me, watching ever one of my movements with rapt attention.

From above, I see her grab my hips and pull me closer to her, while at the same time leaning in to taste me. I groan when the slick feeling of her tongue hits me, repeatedly. Sucking and circling. I breathe in, and thread my fingers through her hair. The other hand is on the cabinet behind me, grabbing onto nothing. She searches that hand with hers and interlocks our fingers. She uses the other hand to throw one of my legs over her shoulder. I automatically spread wider.

She backs away, licks her lips, and says, "gorgeous." My chest twists violently, and my abs clench. I feel the heat building. She kisses my clit, then sucks it, then her teeth lightly scrape against it. I moan, my hips shake. She laughs against my wet sex and I float with the sound of her voice. She lets go of my thigh and wets two fingers. Her tongue goes to work on my swollen, red clit, and two fingers dip, dip, and then enter me, stretching. "Fuck," she mutters. "You feel so good."

"You're a fucking goddess. Sex goddess. Don't stop. Don't stop."

And she doesn't until I come on her fingers and mouth.

She comes up my body, licking my belly button, the valley of my breasts, my neck, and uses the back of her hand to clean her chin. I pull her in desperately for a kiss, tasting myself on her mouth. "My turn." I tell her and grab her hand to take us to the bed.

Quinn doesn't sleepover because she has a Skype date with her parents. It's Judy's birthday and the four of them - Quinn, her parents, and her sister - are all logging in from wherever they are at midnight, just when her birthday begins. She asks if I want to come but I feel like it'd be interrupting in some family matter. I tell her to wish Judy happy birthday from me.

Just as she's leaving, Santana's coming home, sans Britt. They high five as they pass each other.

"Where's the girl?" I ask her, holding my robe closed with one hand and the door open for her with the other.

She passes by me, into the room, "Has to sleep early so I got kicked out."

I laugh, "ah." I close the door and look for my underwear.

"So... You look... Fucked and less tense. Did you guys talk?"

I purse my lips and turn away from her to pull up my thong, "uh..."

"Rachel!"

"What? I got... Distracted."

"You're a moron." Santana says and drops in front of her computer.

"I know," I say and shake my head. "But she was all over me when the door closed and... Sex goddess I'll tell ya."

She puts an index finger in each ear, "I don't need to hear that shit about Quinn."

"Sorry," I say without a trace of apology, "but it didn't happen. It slipped my mind."

"Whatever. Moron."

"Hi," I say and kiss her head. She takes off the reading glasses and looks surprised.

"Hey." She grabs my hand, pulls me closer, and I fall on her lap. "I wasn't expecting you around here today. Aren't you studying?"

"I'm taking a break," I shrug and release her hand so I can curl her hair on my finger. "And I'm making you take a break with me."

She raises an eyebrow and looks around me at the amount of spirals open on her desk. "I kind of have a lot to do."

I move her chin up, "so do them later."

"So," she pants, "you totally like fucking in the library, huh?"

I kiss her, "it's kind of our spot now, isn't it?"

She giggles when my fingers tickle her ribs on the way down toward her waist, over the curls, into the heat, "oh my g- yes."

We don't see each other Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. My last final is tomorrow. Hers was today. She's lying on her stomach, arms under her chin, and her reading glasses on. She looks really cute. My heart skips a beat when she looks up at me and I realize I was caught staring.

She's reading one of her novels; I'm reading more about the Aztecs, reviewing notes and trying to understand the timelines.

She came over, said hi, kissed me on the lips, got on the bed and pulled out her book. I just let her because what was I supposed to say? Leave? And I want her to be here. I miss her. I feel like I'm constantly missing her lately.

I shake my head, concentrate on the words on the page of the book. My eyes wonder over to her, engrossed on the literature of Edgar Allan Poe.

Summer's around the corner. She's going home in three days on Sunday and I get to stay here to start on Spring Awakening rehearsals next Monday. I sigh.

"I'm going to miss you."

She turns, meets my eyes. "I'll miss you, too." She moves around, shifts until she's on her butt, book discarded and forgotten. I do the same and close my book with the highlighter inside, blinking because my head hurts, and my brain thanks me for the break. "But we have Skype and phone calls, and I'll come down in mid-June to spend some time with you like we talked about, remember?"

"Yes, I remember." I say but it feels like mid-June is so far away.

She snickers and crawls to the edge of the bed. "Come on," she opens her arms.

I bite my lip, for some reason shy, and get up. I walk to her and hug her. She wraps her arms around my body and pulls me down on top of her. We giggle all the way. "It feels so far away," I tell her.

"Won't be," she promises and nuzzles my cheek. I cherish the feeling. "Besides, it'll only be another three weeks until I have to come back for cheer camp and then we'll see each other constantly."

It doesn't sound as daunting when she explains it like that. "How is it that I only met you four months ago but I feel like I've known you for much longer?"

"I feel the same," she assures me and moves hair away from my eyes. She massages my right ear and tugs on it.

I clear my throat, "guess what I heard from Kurt? He was positive he saw Finn texting Harmony on his last day here. He thinks they're talking even though he's all the way in LA."

She says, "that's so funny. They belong together - life ruiners and all."

I laugh and slap her playfully, "don't be mean."

"I'm honestly just thankful he's far, far, far away." I love the way her lips curve effortlessly into the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.

"I need to study." I say when my head is comfortably resting under hers. Her arms are around my shoulders, and I never not love this embrace. I don't want to move. I don't plan on it.

"You're ready." She tells me and doesn't move.

I close my eyes and relax.

I lied. I realize that I lied because it's Saturday, she leaves tomorrow, and I told her I'd forgotten what she said. But I haven't. I haven't and I can't and especially not when it's Saturday, one day until she leaves, and we run into fucking Gaea while out together.

Just my fucking luck.

But I remind myself that I can't say anything because it's supposedly forgotten, and I shouldn't be jealous. I stare at their exchange from behind the safety of my sunglasses and wonder what goes through Quinn's mind as she talks to her. Does she find her attractive? Did she enjoy fake-kissing her?

My stomach is upset, and I don't know if it's because of the tacos we had or if it's because of the thoughts in my head.

They both turn to look at me and I smile, nod my head, pretend to listen. I still don't know just what team Gaea roots for and it frustrates me. I shift my weight and busy my mind with thoughts of other things like - the way that little boy's suspenders are so adorable, or - yeah, that's a big dog. I search my brain for the breed but I'm not a dog expert. I only know two breeds - chihuahuas and poodles. Everything else to me is categorized as 'dog.'

I feel a little dizzy, run my left arm on my forehead. My right hand starts to sweat so I pull it from Quinn's and stick it in my jean's pockets. She looks at me and frowns but doesn't say anything. Gaea says something to her about whatever and she forgets my action.

I sigh. I don't want to be here, talking to Gaea. I want to... What do I want? And what am I doing? And why is my head so fuzzy? And my eyes blurring? Why -

"Baby?"

I groan. I think.

"Rachel?" Who's voice is that?

"Rach? Are you okay?" I open my eyes. I feel dazed. I feel funny. A face on top of me - I assume it's Quinn's because the voice is hers. "Babe, say something."

"I -" I'm thirsty. "Ouch." The back of my head hurts. I touch it.

"Your head must hurt from when you feel. One instant you were there and the next all I heard -" Quinn stops talking. She looks so concerned. "You shouldn't stand up. Someone called 911, we're gonna take you to a hospital, okay?"

Gaea is crouching down next to her. That's who the second voice was. I nod at Quinn, I don't think I could get up if I wanted to.

All I know is that my head hurts, my stomach aches, I feel bile coming up, and I really, really, really need water.


	26. Tell You Something (Alicia Keys)

I'm not stupid. I see the way Rachel is when Gaea's around. She gets all grumpy and quiet and pretends everything is fine. I want to talk about it, I really do, but I can't ask her not to be jealous when I'm the Queen when it comes to that.

Gaea is just an all-around friendly person. She's communicative and expressive, using her hands and eyes just as much as her mouth to talk. She's a Communications major. Rachel thinks she's into me.

We don't talk about Gaea though. I'm afraid that if I bring it up, she'll just throw at my face that I get jealous, too, and how would that be fair?

We don't talk about how she felt the night of the video, and we don't talk about the night at Mike's.

Not talking is awful.

Gaea's talking. She's talking a lot. She's telling me about some show she just came back from with a friend. See! A friend! I look at Rachel to see if she heard it too but she's checked out into her own mind, probably analyzing the situation. She looks a little pale.

I ask her if she's alright and Gaea looks at her too. Rachel looks at me, gives me a polite smile, and nods. I'm sure she didn't hear a word I asked her.

I'm listening to Gaea again. What a coincidence that we ran into her today. I leave tomorrow back to Ohio and I won't see Rachel again in a month and a half but here am I stuck in a conversation I don't really want to be having. I'm too educated to just run off while she's talking but I've been trying to come up with an excuse...

I wonder if Rachel wants to talk too and if maybe she just doesn't know how to bring it up.

I wonder if I'm making a big deal about this in my head. Maybe I'm just imagining things. But why does it feel like she's on the other side of the world from me when we're not in bed having sex? When we're doing that I feel her. We understand each other so well. Outside of the bedroom, it's complicated.

Rachel starts to fidget. She runs an arm on her forehead. Lets go of my hand to place hers in her pockets. She shifts her weight back and forth. She looks uncomfortable. Gaea's voice interrupts my observation of her, so I try to go back and pay attention to what she's telling me.

Rachel sighs audibly. I don't know if she realizes it though.

In one instant, I'm listening to Gaea tell me about a stupid show and the next I hear a thud. I turn, panicked, and Rachel's on the floor. What the hell! I drop to my knees, "Rachel!" I shake her, but not hard or anything, to try to wake her. "Oh my God! Someone call 911!"

Gaea is next to me, "Quinn, don't move her until the paramedics get here."

I know. I know. I shake my head, my ears ring. "I know." Her voice sounds irritating right now.

A few people that were passing by stop and I register some gentleman has called an ambulance.

"Calm down, okay? She just fainted." Gaea says.

Just fainted! Out of nowhere! Fainting is never good! I bite my togue not to say something at her and focus back on Rachel.

She moves slowly, not entirely concious yet. I try to steady my voice, "Baby?"

She groans, I can't tell if it's a response to me or not.

"Rachel?" It's Gaea who tries this time.

"Rach? Are you okay?" Brown eyes open and she frowns immediately after. "Babe, say something."

"I -" Okay, so she can speak. "Ouch," she says and touches the back of her head. I feel like a freaking idiot for not having noticed she wasn't feeling well; for not catching her.

"Your head must hurt from when you fell. One instant you were there and the next all I heard -" Well, I stop myself - she doesn't need to hear about my incompetence. "You shouldn't stand up. Someone called 911, we're gonna take you to a hospital, okay?"

She nods and I will my head to stop, because here she is. She is okay. She'll be okay. The sounds of sirens take over the sounds of chatter and taxi cabs. A paramedic in white comes to Rachel and crouches next to her. He says, "Hi. Can you tell me your name?" as he checks her vitals. I stand up, not wanting to be in the way. Gaea puts a hand on my shoulder, which ends up wrapping around my upper body, and next thing I know I'm crying, hiding my face on her neck.

"Sh, she's okay. It was just a scare." She tells me, making circles on my back with her hand to comfort me. "She's alright. You're just in shock." I sob and she doesn't move. She doesn't move while I cry for my girlfriend.

"She had a vasovagal response?" I tell Santana on the phone, not really sure if it's the correct term. The doctor explained it to me, and what I got from it is that something must've triggered it. It could have been anything: dehydration, fatigue, standing up for too long, and all these other things. They had asked her if she was tired, and how she had been feeling this past week. Embarrassingly, she admitted to have been a little careless when it came to getting rest and drinking enough water.

"What the fuck does that mean, Quinn? English, please." She drawals out.

"Fuck if I know! They said she fainted because she is dehydrated. She spent all of this week studying like a maniac, drinking a lot of coffee and not enough water, exercising for dance and - I mean, she was already exhausted from the shows and then finals on top of it all. It just all combined into this."

"Which hospital are you guys at?" she demands. I hear her move around, probably putting clothes or shoes on, grabbing her purse - moving. Doing things.

"Presbyterian."

She says, "I'll be there in ten. I'll call her dads, too. Just go be with her."

"Okay."

I shut off my phone and stick it in my pocket. I look around me and staff - doctors, nurses - people move around trying to get places. I wonder if I could ever do this job. Probably not.

I pace back to the bed where Rachel's getting some fluids through an I.V. She looks pale still, but much better than ealier, her cheeks are starting to gain color again. "Hey," I say softly and sit on the stool provided next to her.

Gaea had been talking to her while I made some phone calls to my mother (asking her to please, change my plane ticket to Wednesday), and Kurt and Santana.

"I'm gonna go," Gaea says when I walk over and I thank her with a look.

Rachel nods at her, "thanks for everything, Gaea. Really." Her voice is all business, like she owes her life to Gaea for keeping her company for ten minutes while I made the calls.

"Not a problem, Rach." Gaea says, smiling down at her, "Get some rest." She orders and leaves, the door shuts behind her.

"Hi," Rachel says to me once the girl is gone.

"How are you doing, Principessa?"

She feebly raises her hands but they fall back down on her stomach, "like shit."

I chuckle and kiss her forehead, "Santana's on her way."

Groaning she tries to sit up in bed but I keep her down with a simple touch of my fingers to her shoulder, "but I'm not comfortable," she whines.

"Sitting up right now will not help you feel more comfortable, I promise."

She almost looks like a toddler about to throw a tantrum and it looks really kind of cute, but then she says, "I guess. Can I have some water? I'm kind of thirsty."

I get up quickly, "sure," and pick up the water bottle with a straw in it from her bedside. "Sip."

She looks at me from under her eyelashes and blushes slightly. "You're taking care of me again," she says when she's done drinking.

I shrug; I don't mind. "That's what I'm here for."

"Well, when do I get to take care of you?" She demands.

"Never." I tell her, "because I don't ever get sick." I smile and it takes her a while but she gives in and calls me to sit next to her again. She holds my hand.

"Did I ever tell you how much I like your hands?" She asks, concentrated on the feel and the lines of my right hand. Then she smirks, "like, really really like them."

I laugh, "well, you might have in the heat of the moment."

"Well, I like them outside of the heat of the moment too. They're so pretty."

"Thank you." I lean down, kiss her softly, and tell her, "I like your nose a lot."

She seems outraged, her hand leaves mine and covers her nose, "My nose?"

I move it away and kiss the tip, "yes, your Jewish nose."

She humphs, wiggles a little bit beneath me. I raise an eyebrow. She smiles and pulls me by the neck, "I'm keeping you forever if you say things like that."

"I don't see the problem with that." I touch our lips softly and give just enough pressure to the kiss. It's chaste, but it's also telling her that I'm so fucking thankful nothing worse happened. She's right here, it tells me. Rachel sighs into the kiss and grabs my arms, making me lose some balance. I put my hands on the bed so I don't fall on top of her and we start laughing.

I move apart from her when a nurse walks in to check on the IVs. She asks Rachel a few questions about how she's feeling, and Rachel tells her she feels well, thank you. The nurse smiles politely at her, then at me, and leaves.

As soon as I hear the click of the door, I sit on the edge of the bed and kiss her again. Softly.

Once again the door is opened, but this time it's not a nurse.

"Really? On a hospital bed?" Santana exclaims, effectively making me get up. She completely ignores me and goes to Rachel's left, sitting down. She doesn't touch her, but she looks upset. "What the fuck, Berry! Drink water!" She scolds.

Rachel's laugh is weak, but it makes Santana smile and reach for her hand. "I'm alright now. You can stop freaking out."

Britt is quietly standing behind me. I hadn't even noticed her. She then sits on the other side of Rachel and the brunettes slowly turn their heads to face her. "You had Santana really worried. I'm just glad you're okay." She kisses her forehead.

"Thanks for coming guys, but the doctor said I'll be out of here in 12-24 hours, depending. They're keeping me under observation and giving me a lot of IV."

"There's no way I'm going to Ohio with you like this, Midge. You look so frail and tiny. More than usual. I already talked to my parents and your parents."

"Santana!"

"I'm not going either." I inform her. She looks at me wide-eyed. "At least until Wednesday. I just want to make sure you're really okay."

"You guys," she starts.

But Britt shakes her head and interrupts her, "don't try, Rachel. This one is stubborn," she points at me and then at Santana, "and this one is stubborner." I don't think stubborner is a word but she has a point. I'm not leaving and I nod along. "And they're right. We're your family here so we have to look after each other."

Rachel sighs, "okay. I didn't really want you guys to leave yet," she admits sheepeshly.

"Oh, no, Rachel!" Santana says and dramatically drops Rachel's hand. She narrows her eyes at her suspiciously and inhales with determination, "is this a plot to keep us here? Did you pretend to drop your blood sugar and faint just so we'd have to stay a few extra days?"

Rachel, always willing to play a part, looks at Santana with purpose - then away - then looks again, "Oh, no!" She throws her hand on her forehead, "You caught me!"

"Ah! Ha!" Santana points at her, "You can't make a fool out of us!" She makes a motion of a circle to indicate me, her and Britt.

I just laugh the entire time that Santana and Rachel act out this scene.

The doctors clear her late at night; it's around 10 when we get to her room back on campus. She's still a little bit weak but I got her on one side and Santana's got her on the other side from the hospital, in the cab, all the way to the room. I help her remove the shoes, the jeans, the shirt. She snickers when I reach for the bra without thinking in front of Santana and Britt.

Santana wouldn't care but she says to Britt anyway, "hey, let's go and leave them alone, huh?" Britt nods, skips to us and leaves us each with a peck. "I'll be back in the morning to see how you're doing." Santana promises (threatens) Rachel.

They walk out of the door and I let the bra drop on the floor, next to our feet. "I have to tell you something," she starts and I hum to let her know I'm listening. I walk over to her closet and start fumbling through to find something for her to wear. "I was really upset with you. And myself."

"I figured."

"I don't like Gaea. Well," she closes her eyes to rephrase, "I didn't like her much... she is alright. But, still, seeing you with her on that video was really... Hard."

I stop moving. I hold onto a random black shirt and nod, "I know." I turn around with a smile and hand it to her. "I didn't think you had forgotten what I said." My smile falters. That stupid comment has been in my head ever since and I've done all I could to try to make her forget it - I wasn't thinking - but I wasn't being foolish. I knew.

"I honestly have been a little angry too. We weren't talking about things and it was really upsetting."

She puts the shirt on and then sits up on the bed, "I thought a lot about what you said and about us since then. I was really confused for a while."

"You have every right to be."

"Were you confused?" She asks.

I think about it. "Not when it came to Gaea, but I wasn't sure how you were feeling and that's always really hard to decipher. I didn't want to push it. But, sometimes I just need you to say it."

Her tongue comes out to moisten her lips. "I know. I gotta keep working on that, huh?" It's a rhetorical question because we both know she does. But I know how hard it is to keep working on something you are terrible at - like me with being jealous and not saying destructive things as a defense mechanism. "I guess what I'm trying to say or ask is - will I still have a girlfriend when school starts again? Because with the distance and stuff -"

"Damn, I should be asking you that. I - didn't know how..." I struggle to finish my thought but I think she gets it because she doesn't let me keep talking. She places a delicate finger on my lips and kisses me. "I'll be yours for as long as you'll let me," I finally say.

"Okay," she runs her fingers over my cheek, "okay. I'm sorry for these past days."

"It's okay, you know? It's not like I did anything to fix it. I wasn't sure when you'd be ready to talk about it. I'm just glad we did before I left. And I'm still sorry for saying what I said."

She pulls me by the arm and I sit next to her. She holds my hand and looks at it contemplatively then she raises it to her lips and kisses the back softly. "I guess being far from each other for a while will force us to work on the trust issue, right?"

It scares me, deeply, "it's a little bit daunting but -"

"We''ll get through it together." She finishes for me. And then adds, "I promise."

"I'm fine," she tells Santana. The Latina doesn't move, her stance hard as rock.

"Drink the fucking water." Santana orders and shoves the bottle at Rachel again. I agree with Santana that Rachel has to keep drinking water so I don't say anything. I sit on her desk and watch the scene as it unfolds - Stubborn Rachel promising she's fine and Stubborn Santana not backing down until she drinks.

Rachel grabs the bottle with attitude, uncaps it roughly, splaying some water over her shorts and thighs, and taking one meek sip, "happy?" She asks and tries to hand the bottle back to Santana.

Santana laughs, "you know me better than that. Drink the entire thing."

"Baby, please. Just humour us and drink the water," I say. This has been going on for five minutes now.

Rachel's eyes fly to me and she breaks, "fine. But you guys have to stop acting like I'm ill!"

I roll my eyes and Santana scoffs. "Just drink," I tell her once and for all and get up to use the bathroom.

When I come back out the bottle is empty and Rachel's holding onto it fiercily, staring at Santana like she's going to kill her.

"What happened?" I ask.

"She said she won't leave here until I drink another one and I just really want her to go!" She explains and throws the empty bottle at Santana who ducks it easily - doesn't even bother to look up from her phone.

"Maybe she just wants what's best for you," I say and take out another bottle from the pack. "We both do so... Drink."

She looks at me like I grew another head, "you're on her side!" She exclaims and struggles to open the bottle.

I roll my eyes again and take the bottle back, unscrew the cap, and give it to her, "if her side is the side where you don't have to go back to the hospital - yeah, of fucking course I'm on her side."

I sit on the desk chair and turn around to face the computer. I'm looking at the trip details for when I go home. I don't really want to leave Rachel but I miss my family at home. "Ouch," I complain when the bottle hits the back of my head even though it doesn't hurt. I face Rachel who's looking at me with a smirk.

"There, I drank it." She says. "So, Santana! You can leave now."

Santana stands up quickly, "about time! If i didn't leave in the next three minutes I'd miss my flight." She walks over to Rachel and kisses her on the forehead. "Be nice to Quinn. She's only going to be here until Wednesday so enjoy each other." She winks and then looks at me to give me instructions. "No matter what she promises you, Q, make her drink the water. At least 8 a day."

I nod, "don't worry. I'll take care of her."

Rachel rolls her eyes and says, "I'm right here, you know?" and drops on the bed, relaxing.

"Good bye!" Santana hollers as she drags her suitcase behind her and leaves.

"I'm sorry for throwing the bottle at you," she says through giggles. I walk up to her already taking off my shirt. She likes it when we get to cuddle and she gets to feel my skin.

"No, you're not." I lay next to her and turn sideways so I can look her in the eyes. Her hands instantly find my waist.

"Yeah, you caught me. I'm not." She looks at my lips and leans forward to kiss me. "So we have two days."

"I know. What did you want to do?"

"Lay in bed and make out?" She kisses me again.

I laugh and let her kiss me but then I say, "we can do that all of tonight but we're going out tomorrow."

"Whatever you say, just kiss me right now." I comply. I roll over her, propelling myself on my elbows and arms. She's better; she's already been back from the hospital for almost 24 hours, but I don't want her straining. I put a hand behind her neck and touch our lips. She hums, cocks her head to the side and opens her mouth. "I love you," she says between breaths.

"I love you, too," I kiss her lips one last time and then nibble her chin, down her throat. I place open-mouthed kisses on her collarbone and then suck on her neck to leave a hickey.

She moans and cranks her head further sideways, hands crawling up my back to keep me in place. "Fuck."

When I move away I contemplate my work on her skin, barely touching my fingers to the bruise. She hisses at the feeling and I lean forward again to soothe it with my tongue. Then I grab her face by the chin and pull it to my lips again.

She grabs my hand from where it's resting near her head and starts to guide it down her body. I shake my head, release it from her grasp and bring it back to where it was.

"Why not?" She complains and groans. I continue kissing her, my tongue flickers against hers. I feel her teeth, I taste the roof of her mouth. She whimpers and grabs my hips.

"No sex tonight." I say as a response. "You're weak and stuff, I don't want to wear you out and be the cause you have to go back to the hospital. Santana would murder me."

She giggles and doesn't release her hold; in fact, she tightens it and cants her hip upwards, "But, baby, I feel fine. And sex will probably make me feel even better."

I supress a moan when she does so, but don't relent. "Let's just do this tonight, okay?" I look her in the eyes and wait. I see the way her pupils are dilated. Her cheeks have a nice color to them again. I ask again, "okay?"

She grunts, "fine."

When she opens her door, I take a step back to appreciate her tight little body in the outfit she picked. Nothing too extravagant, really; simply dark skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with chucks. Somehow she still makes it look extremely hot. "I still don't understand why we have to do this," she says a way of greeting me, pulls me into her to kiss me soundly. "I just want to be with you all the time until you leave," she keeps talking and I listen amusedly. She brings me inside the room and grasps my shirt, "I really missed you while you were gone."

I chuckle and wait to see if she's done. She's looking at me with adorable puppy brown eyes, so I hold her face in my hands and inform her, "I was gone for two hour tops. And we need to do this because I want to take you out on a real date. A date where I come over, pick you up, take you out - pay for things - and then bring you back home..." I nuzzle her nose with mine and watch as her eyes meet mine, "then you invite me to come up... for water - and not coffee, -" she giggles and scoffs, rolling her eyes. I dip my chin to claim her lips and continue once we break away only enough so I can speak, "And we make sweet, sweet love against your desk and on your bed." I drop my gaze to her now panting lips and then even lower to her chest which rises and falls beautifully. I trace my fingers over the skin there and she looks at my hand.

"Okay," is all she manages to say. She does raise herself to her toes, wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me, "Take me out."

We walk out together, but I close the door behind us. She takes my hand and interlocks our fingers and says, "have you ever noticed how well our fingers fit together?"

"From the very first time we held hands," I tell her. She blushes and wraps her left hand around my bicep. Her nails rake down my muscle, and it makes me shiver every time she does this. I love it.

"Me too," her voice sounds dreamy and I silently send up a prayer of thanks we're all good again.

"Are you feeling okay?" I ask her just to make sure she's feeling better after Saturday. I've been with her ever since, taking care of her - except for the two hours I took to get ready today. I just ask because this is the first time we're going out of campus since she fainted and even though it's Monday night - 48 hours later - one can never be too careful.

She nods, sure of herself, "much. You've been so good to me."

"I'm glad. Rachel, you have to be careful over the summer. I know," I look her in the eyes as I tell her because I want her to know how much I mean it, "I know how excited you are about starting on S.A., but you have to get enough rest, drink plenty of water, and not live off coffee alone - please."

She sighs, probably tired of hearing more about this and says, "I know - I'll be careful. My fathers said they'll come down and take me home, despite S.A. if I end up in the hospital again. Santana said she'd kill me with her own hands if I died while she was away. Kurt scolded me for hours. You have been very adamant about it, too. I get it."

I grin, pleased, "good. Very good, Principessa. Good girl." I pat her head affectionately and she shrugs out of it.

"Ugh, you make me sound like a dog."

I laugh and do it again just to rile her up. She slaps my arm and growls, scrunching up her nose.

I whistle at a taxi cab and a yellow car screeches in front of us. "Go-Kart Land, please."

Rachel bounces on her butt, "I'm going to destroy you." She promises and laughs, "I used to go all the time with my fathers and always won," she brags.

"I'm sure you did," voice laced with faux indifference. She narrows her eyes at me when she realizes I don't believe her. I question, "Are you sure you won because you were better? When maybe you could've won because -" I pause for dramatic effect and she casts expectant brown eyes up at me, "they let you?" I whisper to provoke a reaction.

She huffs and puffs, appalled. I huff and puff, mocking her attitude. I pull on her arm and she lifts it so I can fix in under it. "We'll see about that, Fabray. We'll see."

Her arm shoots up in the air and fist pumps as she passes me. I can picture the shit-eating grin she must have under the red helmet. I groan and step on my accelerator, feeling it give under the weight of my foot. I press on it harder. If she wins, I'll never hear the end of it. I giggle at the thought - good thing I love her voice and find her competitive side more endearing than not. It's kind of really sexy. Still, I want to prove it to her that her fathers let her win, so I pull my car to the right and pass her again on the bend of the track.

"Damn you, Fabray!" I hear her holler as I gain distance. When I see the finish line, I consider letting her win again, just to piss her off, but I don't. I laugh as I cross it and stop the car, throwing my hands up in the air to celebrate, like she had just a minute ago.

Her tires screech to a loud, irritated halt next to me and she forcefully pulls out the helmet to look at me. I watch in wonder as her hair is freed from the imprisonment and cascades over her shoulders, framing her angry little face. What an adorable pout. "Rematch." She tells and and takes off again after sliding the helmet back on.

I laugh, "okay." And proceed to win twice more.

"You're just lucky that I adore your eyes and lips and teeth and feet - because otherwise I wouldn't have let you win," she tells me when we're on her bed, after sex. A stray finger lightly contours my jaw over and over.

I irk an eyebrow, "You're just saying that because you lost. Multiple times, baby!" I laugh and she holds my chin to keep me looking into her eyes. I melt when I see the fire in it. She kisses me, and then bites my lip.

I flicker my tongue at it, because it hurt, "sorry," she says. "But not really." I like it when she's like this in bed. I like it when she takes control sometimes. Because there's something about it that makes her completely open. She does whatever she wants, and I usually have nothing against it.

Her hands drag up my sides - she adds a little amount of pressure on my hip bones, and slides her swift fingers over each of my ribs and then slowly up my arms. I keep my eyes trained on the absolutely gorgeous eyes on top of me, letting myself fall deeper into her. Her hands hold onto my wrists, pulled together atop my head. Her eyes drop from mine as she stares at my nipples, already straining for her. She bends, slowly, curving her back, and takes one into her mouth. I gasp. Her tongue wets it repeatedly, then circles it, and then she bites on it. I'm already wet again, just by the feel of her hands and her tongue. She trails soft kisses across my chest and kisses the tip of my other nipple. I giggle. She smirks up at me and arches an eyebrow as she licks that one too. My own tongue comes out to lick the front of my teeth, mesmerized by her.

She moves her left leg between mine carefully, and then her right, and lays over my stomach. I open my legs wider, feeling her settling over my wet center. I moan at the feeling of us sliding together. She starts off slow, making small circles of her hip, creating the friction. I want to look at it, but I can't seem to move my eyes from hers. She leans in and drops her hands to my sides, next to our hips. I grab her neck and kiss her, opening my mouth and letting her come in. I hold her tongue hostage with my lips and feel her moan.

Her pace picks up. She rubs with more purpose, hitting it just right. The pants escape my lips more often. Her face is red, and the vein of her neck is bulging - she looks so sexy. Her arms are toned and I can see her muscles flex when she cants her hip. A thin sheet of sweat covers both of our bodies. I keep hold of her neck, to keep her right here, as she takes us to a higher ground. My hips move, up down up down. She moves her right hand from our sides to my opposite shoulder, under and over my arms, to get a better grip of my body and I groan at the feeling of her fingers digging into my skin.

She pulls me as she grinds into me. She slows down, relishing in the feeling - it makes me shiver and we moan together. Then something seems to snap in her and the sound of wet skin against wet skin is predominant in the room. With every slap, a moan - I lost track of which one of us they're coming from. Harder and faster, and so needy and desperate - until I can't take it anymore and my orgasm takes over me. I shudder, every muscle of my body giving into the pleasure. I chuckle, but she doesn't stop. She's on a mission and I kiss her to encourage her. I kiss and kiss her and don't stop until she comes over me. "Fuck," she grunts as she bucks and falls, resting her forehead on my shoulder. "I love you so much." Slick warmth drips down between our legs.

"I love you, too, Principessa." I kiss the top of her head and hold her in place as we both catch our breaths.

"I love you, I love you -" She chants over and over as she grabs my left leg, moves it and settles again between my legs. I chuckle breathlessly, and moan when she rubs our lips together.

"Shit, Rachel. Oh."

Her right hand sprawls over my stomach for support, and she licks her lips to moisten them. I grunt and groan and my head tips further back - my eyes roll to the back of my head. She wraps her fingers over my boob and then grabs it. I hold her by the waist and we both start the motion again together.

I could come at the sight alone - her mouth slightly parted, the tongue dipping out every so often, her eyes shut and the brows furrowed. She's so fucking beautiful. She pulls on my nipple and it makes my back arch just so. I have to bite two of my knuckles together to keep from yelling altogether, but she removes it from my mouth and I instantly cry out, "Rachel!" Our gasps are in perfect harmony.

She ferociously and shamelessly humps my leg. Like her life depends on it; like she needs it more than air to survive. It's a primal, animal, human quality and I think it's incredibly sexy.

When she tumbles down again, I come, too. "Holy fuck," escapes my lips in a breath and we start laughing together, trying to fill our lungs with air. My entire skin burns, my insides are on fire. She looks so good.

She drops her head on the mattress below me and whispers in my ear, "you look so deliciously fucked. It absolutely does wonders for my ego. I love you so much. So much."

I nod and work on inhaling more air, "I love you. I do."

Her dark hair is pulled back into a tight ponytail on top of her head, and she's wearing her Raybans. I caress her face, smile to try to cheer us both up. "I'll be back before you know it. And I'll text you all the time, and you can call me whenever you're back from rehearsals, or when you have time - I'll always pick up, no matter the time, okay?"

We're outside of the airport. I'm leaving for Ohio in T-minus an hour. I should actually already be going in but I really just want to spend as many minutes with her as I can.

"We'll Skype, too. And I promise we'll make it fun." She giggles and runs a hand on her red tinted nose. She might have cried. I almost cried because she cried. "I'll be back in mid-June."

"I know," she says and exhales. She tries to muster a smile to try to prove to me that she's not extremely upset but gives up when I hug her. "I'm such a girl," she whines. "Damn it, Fabray, I don't cry over girls." She giggles against my chest. I run my hands soothingly over her back. "I'm just going to miss you so much."

"You won't even remember I'm gone, baby. You'll be so busy all the time with Spring Awakening - next thing you know, I'll be back, and then Santana will be back. And then school starts again."

She sighs, "I will remember."

My heart is gradually twisting itself more and more. This is hard for me, too. "I'll miss you so much," I tell her and drape my arms over her shoulders. Hers circle my waist. We stand like this for a good minute, New York City lives around us with the cars honking and the people shouting; airplanes passing over our heads, and the whir of the automatic doors a few feet away but neither of us talking.

When I absolutely have to go I grip her tighter and she knows. She shakes her head against my collarbone and my fingers wander into her hair, holding her by the back of her neck. "You have to go," she says. I nod. "Call me when you get there?" She asks.

I flash her a smile, "of course. I'll call you when I get there." I reassure her.

"Okay."

I pull back from the hug and drop one hand to her waist. We kiss and my lips curl into a smile, "I'll see you soon." I tell her.

"You better," she says. "Alright, you go now or else I'll never let you leave."

I laugh and kiss her one last time before grabbing my things and walking into the airport. When I make it through the second set of doors, I look back and she's walking into the cab, her head down. My heart feels like it's going to implode. I already miss her and I'm still on New York soil, still looking at her.

I curse silently for having to go and not being able to stay with her for the summer. Mom says I have to be home. I have to spend time with the family. We have family reunion to attend. I have to visit my pregnant sister. She says I should work for a while, even though I don't have to. Just so I don't sit idly at home or in New York, waiting for my girlfriend every night. I wouldn't want that either, to be honest. And it's the summer before my Junior year. I have to figure what I truly want to do with my major. I haven't figured it out yet, but I need to know soon.

It's not like I'll be at home for the entire summer, because I have cheerleading camp on the second week of July all the way to the beginning of school in September.

I only remember I have working legs (and that I'll miss my flight if I don't move them soon) when the cab drives off and Rachel's gone from my sight.


	27. Vanilla Twilight (Owl City)

Quinn's blonde hair reflects the sunshine beautifully. Her hazel eyes are hidden behind those damn aviators that make her look ridiculously hot, and she's wearing a dress, much like the first day I saw her. It's bright, with a light cardigan over it and the boots. Always the boots. She touches my face reverently, almost, and smiles to break the sadness, "I'll be back before you know it. And I'll text you all the time, and you can call me whenever you're back from rehearsals, or when you have time - I'll always pick up, no matter the time, okay?"

She's leaving in about an hour or so, and after that I'm going to be all alone. I'm going to miss her so much. I see it in her body language that she's also having a hard time with saying goodbye, even if it's temporary. I appreciate that she's pushing the limits of her flight to stay with me some more; ugh, I love this girl.

She keeps talking, "We'll Skype, too. And I promise we'll make it fun." I giggle, thinking of all the fun we'll have and sob as I run the back of my hand over my nose. I bet it looks ugly and red, and just - I can't believe I cried. "I'll be back in mid-June," she reminds us.

"I know," I exhale. Damn, mid-June is six weeks away. Six weeks is too long in its entirety, and after seeing her constantly over the past semester, it just seems unbearable. I try for a smile but when she hugs me, my resolve breaks and I murmur, "I'm such a girl. Damn it, Fabray, I don't cry over girls." She keeps making circles on my back, "I'm just going to miss you so much."

"You won't even remember I'm gone, baby. You'll be so busy all the time with Spring Awakening - next thing you know, I'll be back, and then Santana will be back. And then school starts again." When she says it like this, it kind of makes sense, but I know I'll just be thinking of her every night after the day is over.

"I will remember."

"I'll miss you so much," she says and then brings her arms to wrap my shoulders. I throw mine around her waist and our foreheads touch. We're silent as we hug, just trying to commit this last moment together to memory to last us 6 weeks. Around us the world keeps going, New York City is bustlin' with life, and here we are - saying goodbye.

She holds me closer, and inhales deeply. I understand she has to leave, "You have to go," I say and shake my head against her torso, because no, she doesn't have to. But she does. "Call me when you get there?" I ask. She nods and smiles.

"Of course. I'll call you when I get there."

"Okay."

"I'll see you soon," she tells me after we kiss. Our lips are still touching and I feel her pink lips morph into a smile. How I'm going to miss this pretty face.

"You better,. Alright, you go now or else I'll never let you leave," I say. She laughs and kisses me one more time before leaving. I try to see her but she disappears in the crowd as soon as the first door closes. I walk to the cab with my head down and just sit there for a minute, organizing my thoughts in my head. "Okay, let's go." I say to the driver. He smiles at me through the rear-view mirror and gives me a quick nod before taking off.

I try to tell myself that going back to an empty dorm - void of best friend and girlfriend - is not that big a deal. But dammit, I hate being alone, so I only go to my room to grab my duffle bag and head to the gym.

I work my ass off for the next forty-five minutes and my muscles are throbbing when I'm done working out. The shower is warm, comforting and relaxing, I almost don't want to leave. I think of Quinn and wonder how her flight is going only to have my phone ring when I have shampoo in my hair. It's her ringtone so I know she's home but I want to talk to her and hear her voice and know how it went. I rush to rinse my hair and forgo the conditioner to wrap a towel around my wet body and find my phone in my bag. One missed call and one missed text from Qtie. I sigh at her nickname and check the message.

Qtie: hey, I'm in Columbus. Call me when you get this.

I fumble around my phone and find the appropriate button. I hit 'Call Back' and wait. There is nobody in the gym's locker room at the moment, so I feel like I can talk about whatever; it's a good feeling. The other line finally picks up and I smile at the way her voice comes through. "Hey!" She sounds breathless, like maybe she was anxious for this call.

I bite my lip and say, "hey, baby. How was the flight?"

"Quick," she says, "I can't believe how much I miss you and I just got here."

No matter how many times she says it, every time she tells me she misses me, my heart constricts. I miss her too. "I do, too. So have you seen the family yet?"

"Dad's at work. Mom picked me up at the airport and we literally are getting home right now."

"Oh, so you're with Judy?" I ask, excited.

"Yeah," I can see her rolling her eyes.

"Tell her I said hi, baby!" I say and unroll the towel. As I'm putting on fresh clothes I hear Quinn tell her mother that I say hi. Judy squeals in excitement and grabs the phone from Quinn's hand, because I hear Quinn yell a 'hey!'

"Rachel, honey? Is that you?" Her voice has an airy quality, what I suppose mothers are supposed to sound like when they speak to their children after a long time away. I laugh when she keeps talking before I respond, "I wish you had come with my Quinnie! It must be awfully terrible to stay alone, and I miss you."

"Yes, Judy. I wish I were there, too. I had to stay for Spring Awakening though. Rehearsals begin Monday."

I hear Quinn yell from the other side of the line, "You don't actually have to speak to her, Rachel!" And then she directs it at her mother a, "give me the phone, mom!"

Judy has a snarky reply for Quinn, "Baby, you always get to see her and speak to her. I've seen her in person twice and I only get to speak to her -"

Quinn scoffs loudly and then her voice is a lot closer, so I assume she's trying to grab the phone and pull it closer to her mouth, "Fine! Rachel, I'll call you later when my mother is asleep or something."

Judy's voice comes back, "Sorry, Rachel. I think Quinnie is jealous of us." She jokes. "Anyway, she went upstairs in a bout of immaturity, and I think she's going to unpack and call you back after dinner."

"It's no problem, Judy. I just got out of the shower after the gym."

"Oh, you must be tired, I don't want to keep you."

I hold my phone between my shoulder and ear and pull up the last article of clothing - my shorts. My hair is damp and I have no makeup on. I walk over to the mirror and speak to Judy, brushing my hair, "That's alright. I have nothing better to do, and I'd actually like to talk to you."

She gasps, surprised, "you'd like to talk to me?"

"Yeah," I say with a shrug even though she can't see it, "Why not? You're my girlfriend's mom, and you're important to her, so I'd like for us to be actual friends."

I think she's really surprised and delighted at what I say. She seems to be searching for words, mumbling random sounds, until she settles with, "Are you feeling better?" Her tone is concerned. I realize she's talking about the weekend and the fainting and the hospital. She probably found out when Quinn called and asked to change the tickets.

"Definitely," I assure her. I set the brush down and pick up my mousse - I'm going natural today. "Quinn and Santana - my best friend - took good care of me after I left the hospital."

Judy and I talk for about thirty minutes longer. She has to go because she has to start working on dinner for when Russell comes home. I demand her to tell Russell I said hello and that I wish he's doing okay. And even though I'm a little bit sad I didn't get to talk to Quinn for as long as I wanted, I had a good time talking to her mom. Her family is something I'll always take care of acknowledging and loving. If they matter to her, they'll matter to me, too. I also like being able to be honest with Judy and for us to talk to each other as friends. I never had a mother figure at home - I love my fathers but hearing about periods from them was a bit awkward - and I love it that Judy seems to approve of me.

San: How you doing, Rach?

Midge: first day that I'm really alone and I miss you guys, so much.

San: Hang in there, babe. Can we Skype sometime?

Midge: Yes, I'm free the rest of this week. Monday things start so I'll hopefully be really busy.

San: I'll let you know. Mom says hi.

Midge: Hola, Mrs. Lopez. Te amo.

San: she loves you, too. Britt called me to say that Quinn and her are going out with Mike tomorrow, for "old times' sakes," or so they say. Should I be worried?

Midge: Maybe it's a good thing they're all able to hang out even without you or Tina around, you know?

San: Yeah, you're right. I have to go - the little devils want me to take them for ice cream.

Midge: we'll talk. Have fun!

San: Thanks.

As far as I know, Jesse is the only person who's also staying in New York for the break, for obvious reasons. Well, there's Harmony, too, but she's not even an option. I'm sure I'll see more of her during Spring Awakening rehearsals, but if I don't have to, I'm not going to spend time with her. I make plans with Jesse to get breakfast tomorrow. Because we worked so closely on this last play, him and I became really good friends. We don't usually hang out with our friends, but he's someone I actually enjoy spending time with.

He's like a gay male version of me. It's really awesome, actually. And it's too funny.

Mr. Willows and Will were able to speak to the housing department, and they don't have a problem with us staying on campus for our stay during the summer. I kinda of also want to take some time this summer - when possible - to start looking into a new place for next semester. Maybe an apartment off campus, like Mike's. I also have to look at which classes I'll take next semester and how the hell I'll survive with taking classes and working on the play at the same time.

I'm deep in thought about how I'm going to figure all of this out over the summer when Quinn's rigtone breaks through. It's a very welcomed interruption.

"Hello?" I pick up on the very first ring.

"Baby," her voice sounds whiny and needy. "I'm so angry that mom took the phone from me! You spoke more to her today than with me."

"No, I didn't," I say and chuckle. "Are you getting ready to go to bed?"

"It's getting late and I didn't want to call when you were already in bed. I'm sitting in bed in my pajamas watching The Biggest Loser on TV," she chuckles and says, "babe, if you had seen me when I was a kid you would've shipped me to this show."

"I've seen pictures, beautiful. You weren't that big." I say and settle in bed. I close my eyes so I can hear her voice better and picture her here with me. I curse at myself because I left the light on and I can tell even with my eyes closed.

"Would you love me if I got fat again?" She asks, with a playful tone. I would bet a hundred dollars that she's irking an eyebrow even if no one's around.

I consider this question seriously, "of course. There'd just be more of you to love."

She laughs out loud - and oh, how I miss those eyes sparkling with the vivacity that she is, "You smooth talker. Well, I'm well underway. I feel like a hypocrite watching this show and enjoying ice cream." She sing-songs the last part.

My lips form a smile and I comment, "that probably breaks some rule of the universe."

"Don't care," she mumbles. I assume she has a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

"What kind is it?" I ask.

"Guess." She says, mirth enveloping her vevelty voice. I can see her blonde mane sprawled under her on top of the light pink pillows I saw in her bedroom when I was there. I can see her eyes wrinkle at the corners when she smiles of excitement. I can see her perfectly sculpted brows raise in expectation and a tongue dart out as she waits. I see her nose crinkle.

"What do I get if I guess right?" I ask, with second intentions. "Say, a Skype date tomorrow morning?"

She agrees readily, "a Skype date tomorrow morning and whenever else you want. Maybe a naked date," she says. "And if you can't guess it right, I get a Skype date with you tomorrow morning!"

I laugh loudly, "oh, you're clever. I don't see how I can lose then. Um, is it Straw- wait, no!" When I think about it, I know. She's just as addicted to this drug as I am, and I remember her buying this before, "Caramel Macchiato ice cream from Starbucks!"

She speaks unintelligible. Then chokes on ice cream and coughs. "You're right," she struggles as she tries to clear her throat and laugh at the same time. "So I guess you win a Skype date with me tomorrow morning then."

"Yes!" I exclaim. She giggles. I hear her set down the container. It gets comfortably quiet in the line. I don't feel the need to speak fast to fill in the void and she doesn't seem to either. We've done this many times before to just be and be completely fine. I love it that there is no tension; no obligation to speak. After a while I remember of something to say but I don't want to break the moment so I wait a couple of minutes longer. "Hey," I say quietly.

"Hmm?"

"You going out with Mike and Britt tomorrow?"

"Ah," she says and I can hear the smile. "Yes, it was her idea, obviously, because I don't want to die at Santana's mercy - but anyway, he agreed."

I turn so I'm laying on my side and the phone is stranded between pillow and me. I look at my nails and think about getting a manicure, "Santana texted me and I think she was having a mini freak out. In all the years I've known her, she's never done serious, so I see where she's coming from."

"She has nothing to worry about. Britt is like crazy about her. Kind of like I am for you." She adds at the end.

"Oh, are you now?" I ask.

There's silence on the other end, and then, "ugh, sorry. I was nodding fervently and then I realized you couldn't see it."

I laugh, "silly girl. Sounds like something I'd do."

"I do practically see you every day." The comment reminds me of how we won't see each other tonight or tomorrow (via video doesn't count!)

"Fuck. Six weeks is a long damn time," I finally decide to get up to turn off the light. I run there and back and drop back on the bed. "I'm definitely not opposed to having some phone sex, okay?" I tell her and laugh.

"Um, I don't think I've ever had phone sex before..." she says quietly, musing it to herself but it sparks something in me. I get goosebumps when she says it with her voice like that. Her sexy bed voice. Thinking about talking her to an orgasm like that makes me feel pretty good, you know, knowing I'll be the first one.

I groan quietly, trying to suppress the already growing need, "damn, you sure are full of good surprises. I think you'll like it."

"Of course I will! It's sex with you. It's like telling a monkey it'll like bananas." I let the comment sink in before bursting in laughter. She snorts through laughter, "I cannot believe I just compared our sex life to monkeys and bananas."

"Dear Quinn, comma. Stop being so fucking adorable, period. You make my heart skip a thousand beats, period. I love you, period. Sincerely, comma, me, comma, your Rachel."

"You sent me a telegram!"

"I did."

"I love you, too," she informs me and the tone in her voice tells me she could've added a 'duh,' at the end because it's so obvious. "Babe, I have a question," I sense the shift in her tone and open my eyes to stare up at the bottom of Santana's empty bed, "and it's serious so you have to answer it seriously."

I start to wonder and maybe freak out a little bit. I have no idea what she could ask about so I breathe in and out slowly and say, "okay," reluctantly.

"Okay," she says and then the question, "if you had to choose, which would you pick between a platypus or a penguin?"

My brows furrow as I try to understand the depth of her questi- and wait, what? Oh. I laugh. I see what she did there - just tried to give me a tiny heart attack to play it off. She laughs too. "Definitely the platypus. The penguin is cool too, you know, cause it's adorable and is always wearing a tuxedo! But, baby, the platypus is like, a thousand of things at the same time. It's a mammal but lays eggs! It is poisonous, but looks so cute. It has a bill, but like a beaver tail - it's- you just cannot compete with it! And since it's from Down Under, I always picture it'd have an Australian accent -" I realize I went off of rambling and she's just been giggling quietly. "Sorry! Sorry, I literally just talked for like ever."

"Good think I love listening to your voice," she says enamored. I bashfully look down, blushing. "You were saying?"

I wake up with the sound of my alarm blaring next to me. I don't know why I didn't turn it off since I won't need it until Monday. I grumble as I wake, rubbing my eyes with my knuckles. Something is pressed against my cheek. I grab it and it's my phone. I fell asleep with Quinn on the phone. It was perfect. I check my phone and it's almost dead, the battery at only 2%. I listen in, to hear if she possibly woke up with the alarm too, but she seems sound asleep. I whisper good night to her (even though it's morning) and turn off the call.

I roll out of bed, predictably landing on my ass, and get up to my feet. I stretch as I make my way to my desk to put my phone to charge and then to the bathroom. I wash my face with cold water, brush my teeth, and comb my hair. My left cheek is marked from the phone. I rub at it with the palm of my hand.

My fingers trail down to my neck when my eyes land on the hickey Quinn left two nights before she went to Ohio. It's still pretty obvious, and it makes me sigh, because - man. It'll probably disappear soon and I really just - I shake my head and go back to the room.

I find the first pair of light jeans and throw it on with my black converse and a gray shirt, a gren hat, and leave to find breakfast. I'm walking down toward the streets, and look around to observe the now nearly empty campus. Few people stay. I pass by the Lounge, and, in all honesty, it makes me miss Quinn.

I text Jesse and tell him to meet me in twenty at Grenada's, a breakfast place around here. He promises to be there soon.

I get to Grenada's and find a seat on a booth with red seats. An elderly lady comes over and tells me good morning and asks if she could take my drink. I tell her that I think I'll wait for my friend. She smiles and tells me to take my time before wobbling away.

Jesse comes in with a hand running through his curly locks. He flashes me a smile from the door and raises a hand. I stand up to hug him when he arrives at the table, dressed in brown shorts and a black shirt and sandals. "Looking good, Rach. How've you been?" He hugs me, pressing his palms into my back. I hug him back.

"Surviving finals week," I tell him and he laughs. When I make eye contact with the waitress, I politely smile to indicate we're ready to order.

"Tell me about it," he groans. "Senior year for me next year," he comments with his cheeks puffed out.

I pat his hand sympathetically, "you're almost done!"

Waitress comes by with a pad and pen in hand ready. "I'll have a black coffee, please. And your waffles combo, extra bacon."

"Um, Quinn would've loved that," I say to him and then tell her, "I'll have the cappucinno and french toast."

"Great, I'll be right back with your coffee."

Jesse turns back to me as soon as she's out of sight. "So we're starting rehearsals Monday! I'm so excited!"

"I am, too. Really, I am," I say to convince myself. "It's just that right now I feel so alone, but once that starts, I'll remember how amazing it is!"

"Well, we might as well hang, you know?" He says and winks.

Breakfast was great and Jesse is a ton of fun to hang out with and I don't have to worry about any drama with him. At around ten, after talking for two hours at the diner, we walk back to campus together. We agree to do something later or tomorrow, depending on his schedule.

He walks me to my room and we hug before he leaves. In about an hour I have a date with my gorgeous girlfriend so I take my time to shower and dry my hair, because I don't want to have to hide it under the cap.

It's 11:30 when I sit in front of the computer, excited - bustling with excitement - to see her face. I click on her little smiling face on my Skype. It rings, and rings, and nothing. I frown, but try again. This time the connection is made. I hear noises on the other side of the screen before actually seeing anything. The screen is completely dark and she says, "I'm sorry, Rach. I slept right through my alarm." She usually wakes up so early every other day that her body probably kept her from waking up now that it's summer.

"I can't see you, baby, turn on the camera, yeah?" She gasps softly. Still half-asleep she clicked the button to answer call but not with video. I smile, she was asleep until 11:30. I woke her up. "Sorry for waking you..."

"We had a date!" She defends me. "I was the one that slept right until now. I'm so ashamed," her camera starts working and I see her hiding her face behind her hands. She's still in bed. There are a few random pictures behind her; her comforter is bunched up next to her.

I smile soflty at the adorable figure in front of me. "Could you please remove your hands from your face? I want to say good morning to you but I can't see your eyes." She drops them to her sides with a pout. Her hair is going in every direction, and her face is still marred. I miss waking up to this. "You look like an upset little lion. Lion Quinn." I joke. When I tell her that in the mornings she sleeps over or I sleep over, she usually rolls over on top of me and growls like a fierce lion before "attacking" my face with kisses and licks.

She growls anyway and says, while sitting up in bed and pulling her laptop on her lap, "I wish I could attack you right now." She runs a hand through her hair, dejected, "I probably look like a mess. I'm sorry, I was going to get ready for you-"

"Quinn." I scold her, "you know I don't care. To me you're gorgeous anyway."

"But I care," she whines. She licks her lips and then adds with shy eyes, "you look great." She reaches to the left and brings back her glasses. She puts them on and then yawns. "I fail at our first official Skype date."

"Oh, stop that!" I frown at her until she looks at me and then smile, "I'm just glad I get to see you that's all. What are you doing today?"

"This afternoon I'm going to... I think i'm looking for a part-time job, just so I have something to do. Um, let's see, tonight there's the thing with Britt and Mike."

"I'm sure you're going to find something," I assure her. "What are you guys doing?"

"Well, it is Britt and Mike so probably dancing."

"So like, a club?" I ask and watch as her lips morph into a knowing smile.

She nods, "a club, but it'll just be dancing - I promise."

I read the other day when I was super jealous that the best thing to do when you start feeling this way is to just acknowledge it, feel it, and then move on. I nod and gulp, "I know. But you're so hot and all those girls and guys will be wanting to be with you. Don't accept drinks you haven't seen the bartender mix."

"I won't, and seriously, you're my favorite dance partner."

I think I blush, her words are perfect. I let myself stop worrying, "I hope you guys have fun. I went out to breakfast with Jesse. I think we'll be keeping each other a lot of company these next months."

"I like that kid," Quinn says and grabs her short hair in her hand, pulls it back into a barely nonexistent ponytail. Half of her hair gets away and falls again, her bangs covering her hair. She huffs and drags it behind her ear, but it drops right back again. "Anyway," she says, rolls her eyes and ignores the hair, "what are you doing the rest of the day then?"

I shrug, "I have nothing but still so much to do. Future housing is my priority right now though, since I'm not busy with the musical yet."

"So you're just gonna look for a place to stay?"

"That's the plan," I say, dropping my chin to rest on my hand.

As Quinn talks, I watch her with amused eyes. She's so beautiful, and her blonde hair tugs at my heart. Her eyes, which sometimes remind me of the ocean, also tug at my heart. This girl sends my head spinning; I'm in so much trouble. The longer I'm with her, the more I realize how much I want her in my life. Even when upset, she still manages to crack through that and make me fucking weak. My chest warms up when she tilts her head to ask my if I'm listening, ("Are you even listening to me, Berry?") with a pinch of indignation. I reassure her that yes, I am, and this seems to satisfy her.

My entire being smiles when she talks. I think about what we'd be doing if she was here. Probably sex. I smirk, and look at her, but she doesn't seem to catch on my look. I laugh quietly. Again, with indignation, she asks, "yes?"

"Oh, nothing, just here thinking how sexy you look with the glasses and the rambling and that," I point at her, her hand flies to her forehead, "the frowning because you think I'm not listening - makes me want to pull you into me and kiss you."

She immediately relaxes, her forehead uncrinkles. She bites her lower lip, and I just really wish that my teeth were sinking into her lips. "So, what else would you be interested in doing?" I'm surprised but I completely am okay with where this is going. I chuckle, she irks an eyebrow. My center is starting to ache at the way she's looking at me alone. "Come on, Berry. I ain't got all day," she drawls out.

I clear my throat, "I wouldn't be opposed to watching you undress for me."

She smirks and sets the laptop down directly in front of herself, and the image rises so I'm guessing it's on top of a pillow. She just teases me at first with raising her shirt and then dropping it with a giggle. "You wouldn't be opposed? Is this the same Rachel who attacks me when she can't stop thinking about the way I taste?"

"Oh, fuck. Baby, please take off your clothes," I know I'm begging but I don't give a fuck. I'm getting drenched just by thinking about her fucking herself for me. Kind of reminds me of the first time she did it and I couldn't help but want to touch her.

Teasingly, slowly, she pulls out her t-shirt and two perky nipples show up on screen. "Like this?" Her voice is playful but daring and electeic all at the same time. It is vevelty, melodious, inviting.

I lick my lips at the sight, and order, "play with them."

"I'm counting down the days to see you," she tells me through labored breaths, after we've calmed down.

I grin and pull my hair up to a ponytail, "42 days and counting."

I grab my Spring Awakening script and open the first page. Excitement bubbles up in my body as I realize that this is real now. I scan the words, my eyes growing wider, my smile bursting through my lips. I internalize Wendla's first line after the first song. I read it over and over and over and over. It's real and it's in my hands.

I drag my eyes away from the paper and look at Jesse who's standing right in front of me, reading his own lines with big, vibrant eyes. He makes eye contact and smiles. "This is real, right?"

"Yes," I whisper and look back down. The pages feel like they belong to my hands; they belong to me. Wendla is me and I'm her from this moment on and I couldn't ask for anything else.

"You kids excited?" A booming voice comes from the main door of the studio. We both turn our heads to see Mr. Willows - all 6"8 ft of him, blue eyes behind clear glasses scrutinizing us. His suit is brown today with a white shirt and black tie. His shoe is always polished so much it shines rivaling the freaking sun or something. His hair is balding but it is clearly black. He tilts his head down to look at us from above the glasses.

"So very much," I tell him and flash my show choir smile.

"Good. You are both talented kids. The director is getting here in a moment or so, and the choreographer is already here; he's coming in in a minute or two." He pulls out a cigar from his pocket and says, "Don't make me regret sticking with you two." Wow, straight to the point but I appreciate it. He smiles and disappears back the same way he came from.

I jump around in place, too excited to contain it. Making a 360o, I take in the awesome view these windows have. We're on the fifth floor of a building and the windows reach from the floor to the ceiling. I rush to one, gripping my script in hand, and proceed to observe passerbys down on the ground.

Jesse chuckles, "You kind of remind me of a squirrel." My head turns to face him so fast, it hurts. "What I mean is that you're so excited you don't stop moving and you're small and still gracious wih your steps-"

"Oh, Jesse St. James. You don't know me at all if you think I'm gracious." I think of this morning and the many mishaps I had. Quinn is gracious. She always knows where to step.

"Still squirrel like. I'm going to call you Chip. Like from the cartoon."

"I get it! But I don't think they're squirrels -" I inform him. "They're chipmunks."

He waves me off as the door opens again, "same thing." He says in a hurried whisper.

The room grows silent as two men come in. A tall, dark, and handsome man, in gray v-neck shirt and a purple scarf around his neck. He wears dance clothes - his pants are rolled up to mid-calf. His shirt has no sleeves. His hair is extremely short. He smiles.

The other, a lot more serious, wearing a long-sleeved maroon shirt and white shorts. "I'm your director," he says. "Sergei Bronski, nice to meet you." He extends a heavy looking hand and both Jesse and I shake it. "This is our choreographer. Jordan Jones." Finally cracking a smile, he looks at him. The smile disappears when he looks back at us. "We have a lot of work if we want to get this play picked up for Broadway, right?" He doesn't let us respond. "Let's go to the meeting room. Most of the rest of the cast is already there and waiting for you guys."

We stay mute and follow him and Jordan out of the spacious room, down the hallway, and he opens a door marked 'Meeting 2.' Sitted around a large rectangular table, about twenty or maybe even less actors and actresses.

Sergei motions for Jesse and I to sit in two vacant chairs near an elderly lady and a tall blonde boy. "These are our leads - Jesse St. James and Rachel Berry. Say hi everybody." He sits at the end of the table. He has a strong sense of authority. They say hi; we say hi back. "We have a shit ton to get done - so, let's have a read-through shall we? We start with you, Rachel. He points at me from where he's sitting. "From the top!" He says.

It's here.

Time to go make magic.


	28. Hey There Delilah (Plain White T's)

Rachel is pulling her clothes back on when I tell her, "I'm counting down the days to see you." I look at the calendar I set up on my wall. It was the first thing I did when I got home. It says "Rach" on June 13, and I've already crossed out yesterday.

"42 days and counting," she says and gives me a dopy smile. It's that smile she reserves for me when she doesn't know what else to say because she's overwhelmed.

"Baby," I whine. She exhales forceful air through her nose and closes her eyes. Then she looks at me and I say, "42 days ain't nothing."

She bites her bottom lip, "Yeah, you're right. It'll go by so fast and then next thing we know we're fighting over covers again."

I hear the doorbell ring and Rachel asks if I have to go. I tell her no, and then ten seconds later, someone is knocking on my door. Before I have the chance to say anything, the door flies open and Britt bounces in wearing beige shorts a white shirt and a bright orange visor. She's probably the only person in the world who can make a visor look good. I smile and call her over.

"I'm skyping Rachel," I inform her. "Say hi."

She stops next to me and leans down to look into the camera, "hi, Rachel!" I pull her onto the bed and she sits on the edge. "Good morning! Q and I are off job hunting today!"

"So she tells me," Rachel says, smiling. Britt's presence is contagious.

"We don't have to go anytime soon though so I'm going to go downstairs and see if Aunt Judy needs help with anything." She blows Rachel a kiss and then kisses my cheek, before getting up and leaving the room.

Rachel leans her head on her hand and looks at me, dreamily. I tell her, "maybe I should go so Britt doesn't accidentally spill to my mother the things you and I do together." I purse my lips, contemplating the awkwardness that that conversation would ensue.

She laughs and groans at the same time, "that would be awful." She rolls her eyes and then smiles. A finger disappears to the bottom of my screen. "You're absolutely gorgeous and I love you."

"I love you, darling. I'll talk to you later, okay? I can call before going out, or you can call - doesn't matter."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later."

Britt looks back to smile at me and offers me her hand. I grab it and smile at Mike. He seems genuinely okay with being out with just the two of us tonight. We are at a new club they opened in downtown. Britt insisted we go dancing, and she said Santana told her I have to take care of her. I laughed but Britt seemed pretty serious about it so maybe Santana was too.

I know how Britt gets. She dances with everyone for fun; she drinks anything; she will kiss random people if it isn't anything serious. So I see how Santana could worry. Mike offers to get us drinks while Britt drags me to the dance floor.

Being on the dance floor with her actually brings me memories of the first time Britt and I danced danced together. I'm pretty sure it was after that dance that I realized my attraction to girls.

It was end of Freshman year and we were at one of the jocks' houseparty. Britt forced me to dance with her because she noticed I had been watching her dance with boys and girls alike and it made me nervous. Of course it did; I has started the Celibacy club chapter at our school and Britt - despite being my best friend and being in the club- was very open about her sexuality, especially when she danced.

I denied dancing with her until she said we wouldn't be best friends anymore if I didn't. I smile at the memory as Britt's hands hold on to my hips, "are you having fun?" I yell at her through the music.

She laughs, "yes! Are you?"

"Of course. I always have fun when we dance together. Remember our first time?"

I smile and hers widens, "oh! Yes! Of course! You were so awkward at first because I'm a girl. Hello! I knew I am a girl."

When she started moving against me that day I freaked out and kept chanting , "you're a girl, you're a girl." I think at some point I said, "straight girls don't dance like this with each other," but I realize now that's not true. Britt had laughed at me and told me to relax and explained that friends dance like this and it's okay and that I can dance with her and be straight if it's what I wanted.

At that moment, I didn't know anymore because I liked dancing with Britt and I wanted to know what it'd be like to dance with another girl - maybe that cute cheerleader in my squad that I had been observing lately. But I had only been watching her to compare our bodies! Yeah, right.

During the summer, I admitted to myself I might possibly like girls and I ended up kissing Britt on my new path to finding myself. Turns out I didn't enjoy kissing Britt, but I liked it that she was a girl. Does that make sense? Her lips were softer than my ex-boyfriend's and her skin was smooth. She told me that it was okay to like both girls and boys - that she did - so I took it to heart.

I kept the Celibacy club going as a way to keep my private life just that. I used it as a shield and didn't let anyone in while I figured it out if I liked kissing boys better than I liked watching two girls kiss.

One day, I kissed that girl from my squad with the pretense that I was doing it for a class and that if she told anyone I'd kick her out of the squad. I liked kissing her. I liked kissing her a lot. But I was dating another boy at the time and running the club and I couldn't, so I just ignored her after that.

Turns out that said girl, Michelle, came after me in secret and so we started our relationship. It was intense, to say the least. I wanted her to come out with me; I'd be able to protect the both of us with my popularity and power but she didn't want to. I fought for her and she didn't even care about me. She cheated on me with a guy from the baseball team.

I get out of my head when Mike walks over to us, holding each of our favorite drinks. "This is nice - just the three of us hanging out."

"I told you it'd be fun, Q." Britt tells me, and then explains herself to Mike, "she thought it'd be awkward, but we were all friends before San, so-"

Mike laughs, successfully interrupting Britt before it gets awkward. Seeing Britt and Santana, and Mike and Tina now is so natural that sometimes I forget how well Mike really knows her. "I get it. I'm totally over it. Plus I met Tina and she's pretty amazing, so thank you both." He takes a sip of his beer and is completelly taken aback by Britt hugging him. He relaxes into the hug.

"Awesome!" She says and steps back. "I'm happy for you. Now let's go dance!" He always was her favorite dance partner - Santana doesn't need to know that. She hands me her drink and his, and I go sit at a table to watch over their drinks and rest from dancing with her. Britt can seriously wear a person out.

When she comes back looking for water, I go find a random person to dance with but make sure to keep my hands in appropriate places despite the looks she keeps giving me. Eventually, I find it better to go dance with Mike. He makes it fun and I catch myself laughing out loud at him often.

When we leave the club, high on all the dancing, I check my phone and notice I have one missed call from both mine and Britt's girlfriends. It makes me smile that they're so alike.

I call Santana first, to assuage her and get her off my back as soon as possible. "Dude, chill. She's still sober, and still very much yours," I tell her quietly once her rant about being worried for the past three fucking hours is over. She thanks me and proceeds to call Britt. I watch as Britt beams at her ringing phone and picks up.

I only call Rachel when Britt and I are getting out of the taxi in front of my house. Mike wishes us a good night and gives us each a hug before climbing back in and the car drives off. I'm not exactly drunk but I'm definitely tipsy and need Britt's support. We're giggling constantly and hushing each other for no reason other than because we're giggling. I hold the phone to my ear, waiting for Rachel to pick up, and with my left hand fumble to get the door open.

It's only when I realize it's probably four in the morning in New York that I hang up and hope I didn't wake her - she must be tired. I also wonder what Santana is still doing up, but I'm still up so I don't judge.

Britt nudges me and I realize I stopped walking halfway up the stairs, thinking of Rachel. She smiles and passes me. I want to shower, I really do, but when we reach my room, we both fall in bed and forgo removing any clothing. I manage to take my shoes off and when I realize Britt's already asleep, I take hers off too.

When I wake up, my body is sore from all the dancing. I groan as I turn to my side and find my face buried in light blonde hair. We haven't had a sleepover in such a long time. If I'm not mistaken, the last time was probably sometime over winter break when we were both in town and we hadn't met our girlfriends yet.

I indulge myself in the warmth and presence of her body because she is one of my longest friends and I miss her. Also, I don't feel so alone with her here. I still miss Rach but with Britt, it's not as hard. I wrap my arm around her waist and bring her close. "It's probably a good thing I haven't told San I was your first girl kiss, right?" She asks.

Instead of being surprised by her waking up, I simply chuckle. I'm used to it. "Yeah, probably. I don't even think Rachel knows -" I muse. Not that I decided not to tell her; it just didn't seem to be a big deal. "Do you think they'd really care?"

"Probably not. It was a long time ago and we're just friends." Britt says. And, like always, she makes it so simple.

"How are you and Santana, by the way?" I ask. Santana and I have grown a lot closer ever since the Finn debacle in Lima but she doesn't usually talk to me about Britt. I guess Britt should tell me about her and Rachel tells Santana about me; and the opposite is also true. I tell Britt about Rachel and Santana tells Rachel about me. I laugh quietly at the web my thoughts are spinning and focus on Britt.

She smiles, "so good. She took me out the day before I left. We went for a walk, had ice cream - nothing fancy but so very adorable."

"Sounds... Nothing like Santana," I say and laugh, and hide my face from Britt.

She hits me playfully and then says, "I wouldn't know. San's been nothing but amazing to me ever since we met." She winks and then says, "I miss her a lot," and hugs me tighter, closer to her.

My cheek is on her shoulder, being squeezed, "I miss Rachel."

We lay in bed for a while longer until she has to get up and pee. She skips to the bathroom.

Rachel calls me back and we talk about Britt being my first girl kiss. She laughs about it - that's great! - and then we both agree not to tell Santana, for my own life.

It's been two weeks since I've been at home. I got a job at a restaurant near my house. I'm the hostess and I'm already tired of work. I work everyday from 11 am to 5 pm and then go home to help my mom make dinner and then usually hang with Britt or Mike or both.

For the past two weeks, communication with Rachel has decreased substantially. I'm usually at work when she's free, and she's most often in rehearsals at every moment I'm free. Saturdays she spends all day in the workshop - no exceptions; Sundays she's been busy looking for a place to live next semester. Meanwhile, Saturdays I spend at work and Sundays I have church with my parents and then I volunteer for the soup kitchen. Friday nights and Sunday afternoons are the best times to talk.

Sometimes we Skype, sometimes we call. It's been really hard, mostly because both of us are very needy girls. Sometimes I wish I could reach out and touch her face across the time zone and the state lines and it kills me that I can't. I just see her getting more busy with each day, and we get more distant with each moment.

It's neither our faults - we knew it'd be this way but fuck it, it's so draining.

This weekend my parents and I are going down to visit my sister and her husband. She's about to pop out her first kid. Nobody in the family knows yet the sex but we're all very excited. The set date for labor is tomorrow - Saturday - so we're going to meet the newest Fabray soon.

I'm sitting on my desk, staring at my calendar of red X's over weekdays and contemplating if I can just take off to visit Rachel for a weekend in New York. I know I get to see her in four weeks, and that won't be so distant now that we're two weeks in, but I really need to see her.

"Ready, sweetheart?" My father's voice is comforting to my ears. He's at my door, smiling a sweet smile and looking at me with adoring eyes. He's always had that look reserved for me. He never wavered, not even when I told him I might like girls.

I get up from my seat, my skirt twirling, and grab my bag from my bed. "Yes!" I smile at him and he stops to give me a kiss on top of my head as I pass him to the stairs. "I'm so excited for this. Frannie is having my first niece!"

"How do you know it's a girl and not a boy? Our family needs another Fabray man!" He says. I laugh and hear my mom joining in.

"Frannie says she can feel it," mom explains. I smile smugly at dad and nod.

"Plus Rach says that if the belly is less round, it's a girl... Or maybe it's the other way around? Oh well. I just know that her belly is weird shaped."

"Rachel, Rachel," my dad mutters goodheartedly. "Is that all this girl talks about?" He asks mom.

She says, "oh dear, yes. And the times I've managed to get to talk to Rachel she's always talking about our Quinnie too..." She says. And then adds as an afterthought, "when she's not talking about herself that is."

"How is she doing in New York?" Dad asks. He grabs my bag from me and leads us out to the car. He opens the trunk with a touch of a button and stuffs my stuff on top of his and mom's suitcase. I stay behind to lock the door.

I sigh, still turned and checking to see if it's really locked. "You know... She's alright. Tired. Always at rehearsals."

"Honey, maybe you should really do what you've been saying and go visit her next weekend. Ask off your work again." Mom says.

"Yeah, I could do that. But even if I do, I doubt Rachel will have time to spend with me." It's really the only reason why I haven't taken my mother's car and driven the ten hours there and back.

We all settle in the car and I reach for the car's radio, turning on the bluetooth connector to my phone's music. I pick a song that reminds me of Rachel, The Plain White T's Hey There Delilah. My dad groans out loud, "are we going to listen to depressing songs all the way to Cincinnati?"

"It's not depressing!" I shriek. "It just reminds me of her."

Dad pulls out of the driveway and I put my sunglasses on. I text Rachel.

Qtie: driving down to Cincinnati to see the sister and wait for the baby to come out. I'll probably not be able to Skype tonight, but call me when you can? Love. Xo

I lean my head on the window and close my eyes.

Oh, it's what you do to me / what you do to me

"Oh. My. God." I can't hide my astonishment at my sister's size. "You look huge!" I taunt her as I climb the steps of her porch. "Did you eat a baby whale or something?"

She sticks her tongue out at me. "Quinn, still annoying as ever." She opens her arms and I try to hug her, but really, I can't. I laugh because my hands don't reach around her waist, and she exhales. "You won't get to meet Baby Taylor if you keep poking fun at my size! Hi, mom. Dad." They each give her a kiss on the cheek and walk around her into the house. Her husband Tom is out, buying groceries apparently.

"You're naming her Taylor? What a generic name." I say.

She turns and says, "okay, Quinn." With a snarky tone, "you have a boy's name."

"There is no such thing in America!" I say back. "And it sounds like a pun on queen, so it makes perfect sense." I watch her wobble back inside the house, and don't hide my amusement. "Can I get a picture with you this big so I can show it to my girlfriend?"

"Ah, that's right," she says as I help her settle on the really comfy couch. "Rachel, right? She's the girl who dragged you to her hometown and you didn't even think twice about visiting your very pregnant sister."

"You weren't this pregnant then." I argue back and sit next to her. "Oh. My. God." I repeat my earlier statement and touch the belly. The parents have already gone upstairs to the guest room where they're staying. Of course, I'll be sleeping on this very couch. "Okay, I'm getting a picture! One now and many later because I'm your sister and have every right to." I grab my phone and snap three of us sitting. This angle makes her belly look even bigger. Her face is also rounder.

"Happy?" She asks with closed eyes and a small smile. I nod and put my ear over the belly to see if I hear anything. "She doesn't fucking talk, Q." She teases me.

"I know but I was just hoping-"

She says softly, "I know. Tom does it all the time. You can talk to her if you want."

I'm sure my eyes widen. "Really?"

"Yeah, why not? Doctors say she can hear you."

"Okay," I say and rub my hands together, thinking of what I could possibly tell her. "So," I clear my throat and suddenly realize I'm really nervous about speaking to my niece. "Hi. Taylor - let's hope your mom changes her mind about that. Um, how is it in there? Warm?"

She scoffs, "really, Quinn?"

"Sorry! Um, hey, baby girl. I can't wait to meet you. I know you've probably heard how scary this world can be... But don't worry, you know? It has it's moments. Let's see - ooh, you'll get to try ice cream. My favorite is the Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks, but I don't know if babies are allowed to eat that. Um, my girlfriend is really into musicals so I can teach you some about that; that'd make her very happy." I smile and then frown, thinking about Rachel and how she still hasn't replied my text or call which can only mean she's not out of the workshop yet. "Love is also pretty awesome. No matter what kind, okay, baby girl? I love my parents and your mom - who's my sister- and my best friends, Britt and Mike and even Santana. I also love my girlfriend so very much and I miss her dearly but I'm here so I can witness your birth! Also, cheerleading is life. I'm sure you'll come out doing splits." I grin up at my sister and she rolls her eyes but I think she has a tear rolling down her left cheek. She blames it on the hormones.

We're sitting around a black iron table in the backyard and Tom is grilling steaks. My sister is eating. She's already eating a salad because she gave up meat when she got pregnant, and because she is pregnant, she gets to eat before everyone else. I get distracted by Tom's dark hair and wonder if Baby 'I-hope-Frannie-changes-her-name' will have dark or blonde hair like my sister's.

It's dark out. The lights on the wall flicker and the sound of insects buzzing and crickets chirping are the soundtrack to a beautiful starlit sky. I contemplate about what the girl who compared my eyes to stars is doing and sigh when I realize she hasn't called or texted yet, indicating she is indeed still out.

A phone rings, they all vibrate on the table. It's a new rule we have. Everyone puts their cells on the table when we're eating as a family, and the first to break has to pay for dinner next time we go out and do the dishes for a week. All of our hands reach out for our phones, and mine is the one lit up. Rachel. I smile and almost pick up when I notice everyone's staring and grinning, expectantly.

"Oooh, who is it? Rachel?" My sister asks. I feel my cheeks warm and throw a hand over my eyes, turning away. "I hope you know the rule still applies, choose you pick up that phone call."

Of fucking course I'm picking up. I huff anyway and turn at her, cheeks still red, and stick my tongue out. "Hi, Rach," I exhale when I press the green button.

My family starts making catcalling noises and laughing. I hear my Dad say something like, "yes, free dinner!" right before I close the screen door and then the actual door.

"Hi! Oh - hi, baby." She whispers. Her voice sounds tired. I wish I could do something to make her less tired, but I can't. I prop myself up on the kitchen counter and swing my legs - it hits the cabinets every so often. "You don't know how great it is to hear your voice. Was that your family?" She asks, her voice not a whisper anymore. I can just picture her laying in bed, fresh off a cold shower - hair probably still damp - with her eyes closed and the lights off.

"Yes, they're making fun of me. I now have to pay for dinner and do the dishes," I explain vaguely but smiling because I finally get to talk to her.

She laughs quietly, "aw, I'm sorry. Tell them I said hi, okay?" She says. I love how she's always so concerned about making a point of telling them that every time we speak. "Anyway, how was the trip there and how big is your sister?" She asks.

"Oh! She's huge! The trip was okay - I slept the entire time. But, holy shit, babe, she's enormous. I took a picture with her earlier so I could send it to you but forgot then. I'll send it to you when we hang up."

"Okay," she giggles.

"How was your week?"

"Tiresome," she replies instantly. "Busy, busy. That's all it ever is lately. But we did get to start on a new song today, so that's exciting!"

"That sounds exciting, but please tell me you've been taking care of yourself."

I can practically see the eyeroll, "of course. I promise, I have been drinking all the water I have to and getting rest whenever I can."

I smile. "Good girl. So, I was thinking," I start and hear her make a small noise to let me know she's listening and then yawn. I know she'll be drifting into sleep soon so I have to ask as soon as possible, even though I already know the answer. "Mom wouldn't be opposed with me going to New York next weekend."

"What for?" She asks.

"Why, what for? To visit you, silly! I miss you and she says it'd be okay -"

"Quinn," Rachel cuts me off as nicely as she can. "Babe, I'd really love to see you - you know I would. But we both know I wouldn't have the time to spend with you. Maybe Sunday but only for a few hours before you'd have to get back and I'd have to get rest for Monday."

"I know, I just thought - I miss you."

"I miss you, too. I pretty much see you everywhere I go, but honestly, I think that'd be worse for us if you were here and I couldn't give you the attention you de-"

"I get it." I cut her off. I don't know why I sound so snarky when she is really just saying what would happen. "I'm sorry," I apologize immediately. "I don't know what that was."

"I do. I'm pretty angry too, that I don't get to be with you, but you know, it is what it is. I'm just trying to focus on the day I'll see you in four weeks." She says and I can hear the smile forming on her lips, probably slow and lazy. "When I have a break and for which you already have bought a ticket for," she informs me as if I didn't know.

It makes me smile, too. "Okay, yeah. Four weeks - that's a month - not too bad." She yawns again, "hey, go to sleep. Get some rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Definitely. Even if for like, a minute while on my way to the studio."

"Any luck with the housing search?"

"No, not yet." She says and then yawns one more time. I can tell she really needs to sleep and that the only reason she hasn't said anything yet is because of how much we miss each other.

"Okay, good night, gorgeous."

"Good night. Love you."

"Love you."

I hang up and stare at my phone, exhale as I run a hand through my hair. She sounds so tired but she's doing what she loves so I guess that's good. I put my phone down and then stare at it a second longer. I text her the picture with a smiley face and she texts back immediately with a ':O' and a ';)'. I chuckle and then I get up from the counter to make my way back outside without my phone.

Tom is finally removing the steaks from the grill. It sizzles and hisses. It smells great. I close the screen door behind me softly and sit back down on my vacant chair. My sister is now chewing through a corn on the cob, with a smirk.

"I miss you, Rachel; I love you, Rachel." She teases me.

I snap immediatelly, "shut up!"

The table quiets down and my mother says, "Quinn, you can't talk to your sister like that. She's pregnant."

I feel a wave of guilt roll through me. I know it was wrong to lash out at her. It's not her fault and I just acted out. My dad says, "honey, apologize to your sister." I feel like I'm twelve again and not a college student.

Frannie rolls her eyes, "there's no need."

"No, I am sorry." I say. "I just - stressed."

She swipes a hand in front of her face as if it will help her forget and Tom places a gentle hand on my shoulder as he sets a plate with a steak on top of it. The smell attacks my senses and I'm so thankful for my family. "Don't worry about it, little sis." She tells me and then points at the food. "Eat." She orders. She reaches for the bowl of veggies and puts three spoonfuls on my plate.

I smile, timid, "thanks."

"No problem," she says. Dad and Mom smile, too, satisfied with our grown-up behavior and start to eat their dinners.

I look at my parents and think about how great they are. I look over at Tom leaning to press a quick kiss on my sister's cheek and think about how amazing they are for each other. He - except for the dark eyes and hair - reminds me a lot of my dad. They're both quiet and not very talkative but can be quite funny and entertaining when they want to. He's going to be a great father and Frannie will be an amazing mother.

For a second I think about having kids of my own, and then I freak out and start cutting up my steak. I'm getting way ahead of myself. Way way way way ahead of myself because I obviously thought of Rachel next to me when I thought about being a mother for that fleeting second. I salt my steaks, not even bothering to see if I put too much; I chew nervously and smile at my parents to disguse the thoughts in my head. They look confused and smile back, and then my dad goes back to his food and mom goes back to Frannie's story about redecorating the office and turning it into a baby room.

There is no way I can be thinking that far ahead. Stupid sister and her belly. I have much more pressing things to worry about, like Frannie's impending labor and when the next time I'll see Rachel is. Or, maybe what the hell I'm going to do about my major. I still have no idea and I have to figure it out soon.

I'm sitting on a hospital chair when I get a text message from Gaea.

Gaea: can you talk?

I look over at my smiling sister, going over the last details of the labor and then text back.

Quinn: sure.

I excuse myself from the room and walk out of the maternity ward and start making my way to the lobby. I have my phone in my hands and I start unrolling my headphones to play some music when the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Quinn. How are you?"

"Great, you?"

"Pretty good. And Rachel? Is she doing okay?" The last time Gaea and I talked, Rachel was in the hospital. It makes sense she'e ask that. How fucking ironic that I'm speaking to Gaea again while at the hospital.

"She's doing good - busy. She's back in New York working on her musical."

She says, "oh that's right. Listen," I hear the shift and it sounds serious so I know this is the reason why she called. "I heard of this thing happening in D.C. at John Hopkins and I thought about how perfect it'd be for you! It's like a Media Anthropology seminar. I get e-mails for these kind of events because of my major in Communications." She starts explaining and by the time she said 'D.C.' I wanted to say yes already. "It's a great opportunity. You don't have to be a Media Anthropology person, per se, just be an Anthro major or Communications major. It's like intensive learning, with labs and lectures and all the good stuff. They have field trips and even provide you with room and board for the entire time."

I can hardly contain my excitement, "sounds great! How much is it and where do I sign up?"

She chuckles, "hold your horses, Fabray. This is a pretty big. You have to apply within this week. Deadline is Monday. It's like $5000 for everything, which if you ask me, is a great fucking deal. They bring professors from all over and you get to meet people in the career and stuff. Besides, you get to live in D.C. for the duration."

I smile, considering the idea and wondering if they'd give me the opportunity to go if I applied. "Are you going?"

"I already applied - I'm waiting for my e-mail back! They only have like 25 spots and 19 are filled. You can go on their website and check the people's names. I already stalked a few on Facebook and I already picked which ones I like and which ones I don't."

I laugh. My phone beeps twice and I move away to check who it is and it's Rachel. I'm conflicted but I don't hang up on Gaea yet. "Hey, hold on for like, one minute, okay?"

She says, "sure," and I switch calls.

"Good morning!" Rachel chirps. Ah, she's rested and is on her way to the studio and I bet she's drinking coffee.

"Morning to you," I say. And then, reluctantly, I say, "baby, can I call you back in ten? I'm on another phone call -"

"Oh! Sure!" She interrupts me. "I'm sorry! Call me back then. I'm a little early."

"You're sure?" I ask, for confirmation.

She makes a loud smack noise, like a kiss, "Yes!" and then hangs up.

The call automatically goes back to Gaea's. "Hello?"

"Yeah, still here," she says. Her tone is light and warm.

"So you were saying?" I ask, excited. I chew on the inside of my cheeks.

"I was saying you should stop whatever it is you're doing right now and go apply!" She urges me. "Apply yesterday!" Then she gasps excitedly, "oh! We could totally room together if we both get in."

I shake my head at that idea because no, Rachel would die, but I stay quiet about it. Instead I ask her, "and when is this again?"

"Starts in two weeks and goes until the second week of July! So you have to apply today because they're sending out last acceptance e-mails by Tuesday and this thing is highly competitive because they only open for applications three weeks before it starts."

Oh damn. All I heard was 'starts in two weeks.' That would mean I wouldn't be able to visit Rachel in the middle of June. Fuck.

This opportunity sounds great but with something like this, I don't think I could afford to miss even one lecture. And if I ever do get a break, Rachel would probably be busy. I wonder how far away from New York D.C. is so I make a mental note to check on it later. "That's - that sounds so good. But really? In two weeks?"

"Yeah," she says. "What's the problem?"

"And they don't have any other sessions?"

"No. Is there anything wrong?"

"I mean, no, it's just - I wouldn't really be able to see Rachel again until the third week of July which is an entire month and a week later than what we had planned."

She's quiet for a second thinking and then sighs, "Sorry, Q. But, think about it, okay? This is your fucking career. Maybe you figure out what the hell you want to do for the rest of your life. I thought you were still trying to figure it out."

"I am but-"

"And Rach will understand because she is career-driven. This thing, even if you decide to not make a career out of Media Anthropology - this thing will add so much to your resume. And it's John Hopkins, and D.C. And it's cheap! You can't say no. Things like this don't come around often."

"I know but-"

"Just think about it until 3pm today. That's enough time to think and come to your senses because seriously - seriously! This will be amazing and you will be pissed if you don't even try to get in. At least apply, you know? Maybe they won't pick you and you will get to see Rach."

She's the most beautiful thing I've seen. She has incredibly light blue eyes and fair skin. Her dimples are adorable and her hair is thin but there, and it is blonde like the rest of us but I hear that can change still. "Still set on Taylor?"

"Kind of was thinking Lea." She says, quietly, as if saying it too loud will affect the atmosphere in the room.

"I love it," I tell her honestly.

"So do we," she tells me and looks at me. "Do you want to hold her?"

Do I ever. I smile as I hold her and she looks at me with confused look but then also smiles. I don't even know if she understands what she's doing but she's beautiful and I love her. I'll spoil her and be her favorite aunt ever.

I want to tell Rachel she was born, but I know that now it's too late to call back. My call with Gaea got interrupted when my mom told me they were taking Frannie in to have her baby. I hung up and went to wait with my family. She was born healthy and not even as heavy as I thought; Frannie's belly was false advertisement. I hand Lea back to her and pull out my phone.

Rachel is probably in some dance or music rehearsal. I'm so excited though. I text Britt instead.

Britt: OMG CONGRATS!

Q: Thanks! She's adorable. Maybe you'll get to meet her over Thanksgiving break this year.

A minute later, Lopez texts me.

S: dude, I heard. Congratulations. I hope she doesn't grow up to be as annoying as you. ;)

Q: thanks, Bitch. :)

S: have you told Rachel yet?

Q: haven't had the opportunity to.

S: she's gonna be furious when she finds out she wasn't the first to know lol you're fucked

Q: no, she won't. :p

S: LMAO

Everyone is super excited about bringing Baby Lea back home. I'm holding doors open while holding onto bags, my dad is helping Tom keep my sister up, and mom has Baby Lea in her arms. We get my sister to her room, slowly, and I leave to call Rachel.

I applied on my phone after Lea was born. Just in case.

It rings five times, and I'm about to turn off, when she picks up. "Hello!"

"Hi, are you busy?"

"Actually, no. We finished early today because someone got injured while jumping on a chair. He fell and landed awkwardly on his foot."

"Oh, no. Is he okay?"

She inhales air through her mouth, "not sure. I hope he will be but it's still not too late to replace him, though, if we have to."

"Tough break." I say.

She sighs out loud, "yeah. But we'll figure something out. So did they go through with labor?"

"Yes! Her name is Lea Fabray Clinton." I say, extremely happy to talk about Lea. "She's 7 pounds and really pink and she has the prettiest blue eyes and hair. I adore her. I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her."

"I can't wait to meet her!" She says, laughing. "She sounds perfect."

"She is. So adorable!"

"Why didn't you call me to tell me when she was born?"

I shift my weight awkwardly and thank the heavens she can't see me. I go outside to the backyard because my family never leaves room for privacy. I sigh, "My mom interrupted that phone call I was on to tell me they were going to start so I hung up and went to wait with them. Then itwas already too late and I knew you'd be busy."

"Oh, that's right. That phone call. That's why you didn't call me back - must've been someone important." She says and I can tell she's dying to know who it was but she won't ask, and I'm kind of scared of telling her, but I have to.

"Not someone important but was she called about was really great. It was just Gaea."

She clears her throat, "Gaea?" I can hear she's struggling not to pass judgement without knowing what the call was about. I silently note how much she's trying not to be jealous of Gaea.

I itch my neck, "yeah, but it wasn't anything like that."

"No, I know. Just wondering what she called you about that you couldn't hang up or call me back when we actually had time to talk." Her answer is biting but I take it just because it happened just as she describes.

"I'm sorry, baby. It was kind of a big deal. I have news, though. I think I have figured something out that'll help me decided what to do with my major. If it doesn't help me to figure out what I want to be, it'll at least help me figure out what I don't want to be."

At this, her voice relaxes and I just hope she understands. "Tell me about it!"

"It's in D.C. at John Hopkins. It's like a summer learning program for $5000 and they offer room and board, lectures, labs, field trips on Media Anthropology. That's why Gaea called. Because she's a Communications major. Last day to apply is Monday but I already applied because they only have six spots left."

"Sounds like an amazing opportunity, baby. And when is it?"

And then my mouth doesn't want to work. It doesn't want to say it. But I have to. I have to. So I do. "Starts on June 11, goes all the way until July 9th."

"Wait, I'm sorry - did you just say June 11?"

"Yeah." I start to exhale slowly through my mouth to keep calm.

"As in, two fucking days before you come to New York?"

"Yes." The line goes quiet and I wonder if she hung up on me. She never has before but maybe - "Rach?"

"Yeah, still here." Her voice is not nearly as warm as I'd like it to be.


	29. Stay Where I Can See You (The Starting Line)

My phone starts to ring when I'm halfway back to campus. I'm not nearly as tired today as yesterday, and I'm thankful we get to leave early. Sadly, someone had to get injured, but I needed this break. Now, I get to hear my girlfriend's voice and all is well. I think it rings for a while before I'm able to find it in my purse, but I manage to pick up before she hangs up. "Hello!"

"Hi, are you busy?" She asks.

"Actually, no." I smile, knowing that I'm free. "We finished early today because someone got injured while jumping on a chair. He fell and landed awkwardly on his foot."

"Oh, no. Is he okay?" She's such a caring person. She's really worried about him even though she's never met him.

I tell her, concerned for him but for the future of the musical as well, "not sure. I hope he will be but it's still not too late to replace him, though, if we have to."

"Tough break," she comments. I sigh but change subjects because I've been waiting all day to hear about her sister's baby."Yeah. But we'll figure something out. So did they go through with labor?

"Yes! Her name is Lea Fabray Clinton." Oh, I just love the name and I love hearing Quinn gush about her. If it were up to me, I'd be there with her right now but sadly, I don't get a say in this. "She's 7 pounds and really pink and she has the prettiest blue eyes and hair. I adore her. I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her."

"I can't wait to meet her!" I tell her, laughing. "She sounds perfect." I wonder if she looks anything like Quinn, and how cute Quinn's baby would be - I stop my train of thought, freaking out about where it was going. Thankfully, she interrupts me.

"She is. So adorable!"

I ask, "Why didn't you call me to tell me when she was born?"

"My mom interrupted that phone call I was on to tell me they were going to start so I hung up and went to wait with them. Then it was already too late and I knew you'd be busy."

I purse my lips at the way she sounds and finally reach my dorm building. I drag my feet up the stairs. "Oh, that's right. That phone call. That's why you didn't call me back - must've been someone important." I really want to know who it was now. At first, I hadn't even bothered to ask who she was speaking to, because I don't have to know who she talks to 24/7 but now that she admitted not calling back because of it- well, now I want to know. I just don't want to upset her.

She has a diplomatic response, "Not someone important but what she called about was really great." Then she tells me that, "it was just Gaea."

Oh. Okay. Just Gaea. I hope my voice doesn't sound as strained to her as it does to me, "Gaea?" I ask. I don't want to care especially after the way Gaea was so nice to me the Saturday I got sick. But I can't help it that it bothers me a little bit.

She's quick to say, "yeah, but it wasn't anything like that." I hate it that she feels like that's the first thing she has to say. I wish I wasn't the jealous type.

So I say, "No, I know. Just wondering what she called you about that you couldn't hang up or call me back when we actually had time to talk." I only realize how rude I come off after. I throw my door open and kick off my sneakers. I shake my head at myself.

"I'm sorry, baby. It was kind of a big deal. I have news, though. I think I have figured something out that'll help me decided what to do with my major. If it doesn't help me to figure out what I want to be, it'll at least help me figure out what I don't want to be."

Now this is something I wouldn't mind hearing about, "Tell me about it!"

"It's in D.C. at John Hopkins. It's like a summer learning program for $5000 and they offer room and board, lectures, labs, field trips on Media Anthropology. That's why Gaea called. Because she's a Communications major. Last day to apply is Monday but I already applied because they only have six spots left." So that makes sense and I start to worry less about Gaea.

I wonder if she'll be going to this but I ignore it so I can support her, "Sounds like an amazing opportunity, baby. And when is it?"

She seems to hesitate but then speaks just as I'm dropping in bed, "Starts on June 11, goes all the way until July 9th."

I make a quick mental - "Wait, I'm sorry - did you just say June 11?" I get up and run to my desk where my laptop is on sleep mode. I hit it repeatedly until it's back on and open the calendar.

"Yeah," she exhales slowly. I feel a pang in my heart when i have confirmation that it's two days before I see her. Which means I won't see her again until after July 9th.

"As in, two fucking days before you come to New York?" I ask, just to make sure I'm not crazy.

"Yes," I hear her say. I'm counting the days on my screen to the day her intensive learning thing is over and - I sit on my chair and put my free hand on my face. "Rach?"

"Yeah, still here," I say.

"Babe, please don't be upset. We don't even know if I got in-"

"Go- no. I'm not upset at you; just - at the situation, I guess." I - out of all people - cannot get mad at her for wanting to do something for her career; for herself. But I do hate the timing. I can't even bring myself to be mad at fucking Gaea- this is something Quinn needs. It'll give her something to work toward. "And of course, you got in," I hear myself tell her as I try to figure out how we'll survive this in my mind. "They'd be fools not to take you."

She sighs, relieved, "You're not mad?"

"It wouldn't be fair for me to get mad! Sure, I - I wish the timing was different, or that I still got to see you or something but... You know, I also don't want you to apologize to me for doing something good for yourself. I mean, I'm in New York, working on something for me, right?"

"Right," she says. "Now the problem is what we're going to do..."

I open my eyes and stare at the calendar and will it to give me the answer I need. Nothing. "This time, I honestly don't even know."

"Damn it. I wish there was something -"

"Quinn." I say softly. "Qtie," I smile as I imagine her face and her eyes and smile. Her arms and the way she looks when we're making love.

"We'll figure something out?"

"Yes," I reassure her. Because damn it, we have to. It's not like this makes anything easier. It doesn't make it easier at all.

I've been spaced out. I'm trying to learn my blocking for this specific song but I can't concentrate. I'm trying really hard not to let my personal life affect my performance but I keep going back to the date in the calendar and how it just moved back a thousand days. It's Monday morning - two days ago she told me about this thing. Two days I've been out of it.

I miss my step again and end up bumping into Jesse. I startle and immediately start to apologize. He grabs me by my upper arms and shakes me lightly. It actually does clear my mind a bit, "Rach, stop apologizing. Maybe you should go take a break, huh?" He smiles patiently and turns me around and pats me on the butt.

Sighing, I take his advice and grab a bottle of water in my bag on my way out. I laugh because I end up face to face with Harmony.

"Hi," she says cautiously.

I side eye her and sit on the cushioned bench in front of the studio, "hey."

"Wanna talk about it?" She asks, but starts making a way for the door.

"No," I wince. "Not really."

She chuckles and says under her breath, "I don't blame you." She nods politely and walks inside.

We've been acting around each other as if we're dancing around glass shards. I don't want to piss her off so I don't lose my job and she doesn't want to upset me with the whole Quinn drama. I haven't asked about Finn but ever since we started the workshop, daddy's little girl hasn't shown up as often as I thought she would and according to some of my castmates it's because she's being going down to L.A. a lot.

Good for them.

I lean my head on the white wall behind me and close my eyes. I'm sweating profusely from the dancing. I know my hair is probably looking like shit right about now. But I couldn't care less. Even though I'm constantly tired, I get to do what I love; something I've been working toward my entire life. I'm a believer in working for what you want. Which is why I respect Quinn for applying despite the fact we won't see each other in a long time. But that's the downfall. We won't see each other in a long time.

My chest fills of insecurity and anxiety. I open the water bottle and down half of it. I run the back of my hand over my mouth, to dry it, and then close the bottle again.

I wonder if I had asked her not to go, if she wouldn't have. I'm not saying it would've been the right thing to do, it's just that I wonder. Damn. Why am I thinking like this? I have no right to ask her that. I'm sure I'd be upset if she had demanded me not to take Spring Awakening when she found out about the talk April had with me. I was the one that made the decision to give up S.A. if it came down to that.

The heavy door opens and out comes Jesse, in his rolled up sweats and a bandana keeping his hair from falling on his eyes. "How are you feeling, gorgeous?" He asks me and sits down next to me.

Automatically, my head falls on his shoulder and he chuckles quietly. We stay like this for a few moments.

"I'm not okay." I admit.

"Why?" He asks with a tone of voice that indicates to me he has an idea. He probably thinks Quinn and I fought or something.

Well, or something. "I'm sure you don't want to hear about my problems," I try to dismiss the need to talk about it.

He pushes it anyway, "I wouldn't be asking if I didn't."

"Quinn applied for this thing at John Hopkins. If she gets in, she'll be going to D.C. and staying there until the week before cheerleading summer camp starts. Meaning, we won't see each other in mid-June like we had planned but only a month and a week later... It's just, draining. She's already kind of busy now with her current job so we can't talk on the rare occasions I'm free on a weekday. I just miss her. I miss seeing her every day. I miss holding her. I miss kissing her."

His hand finds mine and he holds it. "That's normal. You guys used to see each other all the time right?"

"Yes."

"But now you're actually away for the first time. Not by choice like when you guys fought in school, but because of life. This is the real test on your relationship to see if you'll make it. Being able to balance everything is hard but from what I know of yours and Quinn's relationship, I think you'll be okay."

His thumb started to run circles on the back of my hand and I find it comforting. I love this man. He is my second favorite gay man; Kurt will always be number one but I definitely have a soft spot for this one.

"Really? You think so?"

He turns his head down just enough to meet my eyes, "I know so."

I smile brightly at his response and he smiles back, "Now, we have to figure out a way to let her know that."

"I totally get if you want to go home and sleep. We can do this another day." I tell him as we reach his on-campus apartment. He insisted we come here because he has really good recording equipment that his roommate, who just happens to be a film major, left behind. "No way, Rach! We're doing this tonight. She'll be surprised in the morning."

I laugh, excited about the idea. We have just finished rehearsals at almost ten. My body is calling my bed but once Jesse told me his plan, I had to agree. It's going to be awesome. He unlocks the front door and turns on the light, throwing his bag to the side.

"Come on in. Sorry about the mess," he says.

I look around and everything is spotless. I chuckle and drop my bag and find myself walking through his apartment. I've never been here before so I smile at some of the things I see. He has an extensive collection of musicals - love. He has a treadmill on the corner - respect. He has a large framed black and white picture of our company of Cyrano.

"Hey, this is neat." It's over his sofa. I get on my knees on the red cushion and wander my eyes over all of our sweaty, exhausted faces and can't help but feel accomplished.

He is grabbing us water from the kitchen. He comes over and drops one in my hand, "yeah. I just really loved that picture so I had it blown and framed it."

"You must have a ton of pictures like this with all the plays you've been in," I say taking one last long look and sitting on my butt.

He sits next to me and wraps an arm around my bent knees. "Not at all. That's the only one so far." He smiles, "I'm going to go grab the camera, mic, and keyboard. My guitar is in my room - second door on the right, - can you go get that?"

"Of course!" I say and roll off the couch, falling on my ass. "Ouch," I complain and rub at the spot. "I always do that!"

He laughs, walking down the hallway shaking his head and those bouncy curls. "Doesn't surprise me. Get moving, Rach!" He orders me playfully.

I get on my knees before getting myself to stand back up and then dart down the hallway to his bedroom. His guitar is beautiful. It's of a light wood color and it has a nice varnish finish to it. The strap is black. I pick it up from the stand and cross the room, leaving it before I can get too engrossed in all of the awards and posters he has. I promise myself I'll visit those later.

He's hauling a huge keyboard to the living room by himself. "You should've told me it was that big!" I scold him as I walk past him with the light guitar strapped around my back. "I would've helped you!"

"And what? Risk breaking a nail?" He teases and dodges my attempt to punch him. "Hey! Carrying a keyboard here!"

"You know I would've helped." I sit on a navy blue chair to the side of the couch and set the guitar on top of his coffee table. His apartment is much more... Manlier than I thought. It is organized and clean but it definitely doesn't have graphic art of men on the walls, like I apparently imagine every gay men's room to have. I laugh quietly at my stupid assumption. Jesse isn't even super obvious about his sexuality and he can definitely pass as a straight man. The walls are beige. His couch is red and there are two navy blue fabric chairs faced each other across the mahogany coffee table. There is a bookcase directly in front of the couch - in the same fashion as the coffee table so I assumed he bought them together. The bookcase is filled with musicals instead of books and in the center, a TV. Enormous. He has a home theater system set up and I'm amazed at it all.

He grins, "I know. Okay," he grabs me by the elbow and makes me stand up. "Sit here instead." He takes a stool from the kitchen and places it in front of the TV. I sit like he told me to, and he fixes the tripod of the camera so it is level with my height sitting down. "Shorty."

"Not that short!" I say and laugh.

"Okay, that's good." He turns on the TV to check if the camera is positioned in a way he likes, and then says, "come here. Let's first figure out this song and then we can record you singing over the track we make." He has some cool looking program open on the laptop on his lap that he must've grabbed before the keyboard and he keeps pressing random buttons on it. "Each one of these channels records something, so we start with the keys and then guitar and I'll use the same keyboard for drumming."

"Sounds like a lot of work," I tell him but can't help but be fascinated by it.

"Well, then let's get to it!" He exclaims and sets the laptop down. He connects a cable from the laptop to the keyboard and also adds a pedal. He rests the keyboard on his lap and says, "The cable allows the program to only pick up what I play. So, let's try this - you sing and I'll accompany you. Then I'll layer the guitar and finally the drums."

He counts us off and I start singing after he plays the first few chords. He's playing by ear - he's really great at this. It doesn't surprise me that he is so talented.

Within the next thirty minutes our playback is finished and I'm beaming. It sounds amazing. "So now, you sit on the stool again and I'll press record. You say a few things and I play the track. You sing for her and then we convert it, put it up on YouTube, and then you post it on her Facebook wall!"

"I'm so excited!" I clap my hands together and sit on the stool. Then I remember I probably look like shit. "Wait!" He looks up at me, his eyes confused. "I look terrible! I need to fix myself."

He smiles, "you look fine, really, but if you want to shower you can use my bathroom and I can borrow you some sweats and a t-shirt."

"Really? You'd let me shower? It's late and it's going to take longer-"

"It's really not a problem. Plus it gives me time to add a few tweaks to the playback. I'll keep busy." He winks and stands. First, he grabs some clean, still warm sweats and a white V-neck shirt from the dryer. Then, he leads me to the bathroom and opens a cabinet on top of the toilet. Inside there are only green towels. He hands me one and I thank him. He says I'm free to use whatever I want and then excuses himself and leaves me alone.

I lock the door - out of habit, not that I think he'd come in while I shower - and actually I don't think I'd mind, really. He's seen me almost naked before and we have a semi-nude sex scene in our musical where he gets to... Fondle my breasts. Fondle is such a creepy word.

I feel rejuvenated after the quick shower. I walk out of the bathroom combing my hair with one hand, in the clothes he provided me with, and also drying my hair on the towel.

"Ready?" He asks from behind the camera. He looks excited. His positivity is literally what got me through the day.

I walk up to him and hug him spontaneously. At first he seems to be surprised but then I feel him smile against my cheek. "Thank you," I mumble.

He pulls the towel away from my hand and makes me sit on the chair. "No problem. Now, are you reeeeady?" He calls out and runs behind the camera. I give him a curt, determined nod. "We're rolling." He motions with his finger and then points it at me. "Action!"

"Hey, girlfriend. So, the other day I heard this song that said 'I can name all 50 states, 48 get in the way from me being next to you. If it were up to me, we'd have everything we need. You'd have me, and I'd have you.' "I thought of you. Of course I did. You're all I ever think about. Even when I'm at work, I catch myself wondering if you'd be impressed by the things I do. I'm not sure I remember the name of that song. It might be Stay Where I Can See You. I wish you could always be where I can see you - yeah, that'd make me happy." I say wistfully.

"Does that make me selfish? I don't care. I just know that I have so much love for you and it physically hurts in my chest to know we'll be away for so long. So, for these reasons (and many more), Jesse and I decided to make this video." I smile at him and then focus back on the lense. Behind Jesse, my face is repeating my actions in high definition, only a couple of seconds behind and muted.

"Jesse made the track - it's really good. I hope you enjoy this song. And I hope you know that no matter how long we stay away and how hard it will be, I'm still here. I care and I miss you."

I give Jesse a thumbs up and he presses play on the laptop - now connected to his sound system. It sounds awesome. A professional looking microphone is in front of me. I start singing to it, trying to convey all the love I feel for Quinn and how much she means to me and just how much I miss her.

To see you when I wake up,  
Is a gift I didn't think could be real  
To know that you feel the same as I do,  
Is a Three-fold utopian dream  
You do something to me That I can't explain  
So would I be out of line,  
If I said I miss you.  
I see your picture,  
I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine  
You have only been gone ten days,  
But already I am wasting away  
I know I'll see you again  
Whether far or soon  
But I need you to know, that I care  
And I miss you

I only realize I'm crying when the song is over and Jesse stops recording and he comes to me and wraps himself around me.

We edit the video, and put it to upload on YouTube. It's taking forever so we sit back on the couch and watch the Food Network to pass time.

I end up sleeping on his bed. I'm half-asleep when he carries me there, so I only faintly register the action and I want to protest and tell him he should sleep there but I can't.

When I wake up, he's already up and making eggs. He looks like he just took a shower. He's wearing glasses, a wife beater, and black shorts. "Morning," he tells me and pours some eggs on my plate.

I'm a little embarrassed at staying over like this and I'm sure he can tell, if the smile he has on his face is telling. "Morning," I mumble and rub my eyes.

"Sleep well?"

"Yes." I reassure him and lean with my elbows on the counter. "What time is it?"

"Just turned 8. We have to go in half an hour."

"I'm sorry about crashing here like that last night. And for taking up so much of your time!"

He laughs; his laugh is hearty. "We already went over that. I like helping you; I have this soft spot for you. Now, sit and eat. We have to get out of here quickly and we still have to post the link to the video on your girlfriend's wall before." Jesse gives me an encouraging smile and I sit to start eating. He grabs a toast, sticks it in his mouth and holds it between his teeth. He walks over to where the laptop was last night and checks it and it has been uploaded. He grabs it with one hand and with the other he pulls the toast out of his mouth to chew. Setting the laptop in front of me, he says, "alright, go!"

So I set the fork down, copy the link, login to Facebook, find her page, and then post it. It's done and I'm brimming with excitement! I'm so thrilled about the work Jesse did on the song and I really want her to hear it. Last night we weren't able to talk at all. I was, well, busy with this video and she... I don't know what she was doing now that I think about it. She was probably closing at work and when she went home she was too tired to call.

I call her this morning as Jesse and I are making way to the studio. It's early but I'm hoping she's awake. "Hello?" She asks, her voice is clear and that tells me I didn't wake her up.

"Hi! How are you?"

"Good! I just got back from a run. You're calling early."

"Just wanted to say hi, and wish you good luck. Aren't you supposed to get a certain e-mail today?"

She chuckles, "yeah, that's today. I don't even know if I'll get in so Rach, forget the entire thing about not being able to -"

I cut her off softly, "Quinn, you're getting in. And that's amazing. And I'll be so proud of you when you get it. I - well, the reason I'm calling is for you to go check something I left on your wall."

She is not an avid Facebooker so her first question is, "my wall?"

"Yes, on Facebook! Or Timeline, or whatever you want to call it." Jesse and I go down to the subway and we walk through the crowds to get the next one leaving.

She laughs, "okay, I'm taking off my sneakers and going upstairs." I hear her panting and soft thuds and I can only assume she's running up two by two. "What is it?" She asks.

"You'll just have to see it!"

"Okay," she drawals out. "I'm sitting on my desk," she starts narrating her actions for me, "Laptop is turning on... Now I'm opening Safari and Facebook. I'm logging on. Oh, wow, 50 notifications? '45 people liked a post you were tagged in, and 5 people commented on a post you were tagged in,'" she reads.

I laugh. I just posted this thing half an hour ago. "Must be an awesome video - definitely worth watching."

She agrees, "yeah. Oh my, baby! This is you!"

"Looks like me, right? What? Do I say anything?"

"I don't know! I haven't clicked play yet. I'm reading the comments. Santana wrote 'The Midge is whipped but this is awesome. I love it. So does Britt, she asked me to write that.' Artie wrote, 'Legit sound and camera and you sound great as always.' Britt commented, 'what San said and I love you both!' Kurt wrote, 'this is sooooooo cute.' and Blaine liked that comment; and, finally, Sam 'dude, this is super awesome!'" She laughs. "All of them plus some liked this video. I'm so excited now."

I know she pressed play because I hear my voice playing loudly on the other side.

She gasps softly at some of my words and then mumbles, "Rach."

"It was Jesse's idea... But you know, I think... I don't know. I hope it shows a little bit of how much I feel for you." She stays quiet and I'm singing the song now. The subway is packed and loud but I can hear the discreet sniffles. I didn't want to make her cry, "babe, are you okay?"

"Okay? I'm more than okay. This is perfect. Thank you! I'll probably watch it every day and every waking hour until you come back so thank you for ruining my productivity." She jokes and laughs through a sob.

I laugh, "No, don't do that. But I'm glad you like it then. I love you."

"I love you. So much."

"Will you let me know when you get in as soon as it happens?" I ask, referring to the e-mail from John Hopkins.

"Yes, yes, I will."

"Okay. Well, I have to go because I'm almost there but I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. Bye, baby."

"Bye."

I hang up and look at Jesse and he's waiting, "so?"

"She loves it. Apparently there are over 50 notifications on it, too!"

He high fives me and says, "mission accomplished."

The subway doors open and people start to vacate and so do we. We walk up the stairs of the studio and greet the receptionist.

Walking past her, we finally make it to the studio. Our castmates are all already there and in a circle on the floor. "What's up?"

"Well, Nathan is really hurt and now we have to find someone else to replace him," someone, Greg, says.

"Shit. Is he going to be okay?" I ask.

"His ankle should be good in eight weeks," another one, Cindy, says.

We sit too. "Who's going to replace him?"

"We need someone who can dance - just to make sure he keeps his balance on the chair this time, sing, and act."

Immediately, I have someone. I wonder if he'd be up for it. "Well, don't Rhodes and Willows have anything to say about who comes in?"

Cindy, the twenty something redhead, says, "I think they're just worried about finding someone good enough willing to pick up where we left off and work to make up for missing all this time already."

I get up and run toward Mr. Willows' office. He's on the phone, and he looks angry - he's all red and flustered. I knock, even though the door is open and he looks up. I silently ask permission and he motions for me to come in and sit. He finishes the conversation with a, "get it done quickly and get back at me," amd hangs up. "How can I help you, Rachel?"

"I heard we have to find a replacement fo-"

"Yes. Do you know of anybody?" He asks, his attention already drifting toward a stack of papers on his hand.

I smile, "Well, yes. Matter of fact, I do. He'll be perfect. He goes to school with me; he was in Cyrano. Actually, we go way back."

"Can you have him come up this week?"

"Not a problem," I reassure him and twirl my way out of my seat.

Determined, I march out of the studio and call Kurt.

"Rachel Berry, to what do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?"

"Kurt! Get your booty back up here! Mr. Willows wants to see you stat!"

He shrieks, "Mr. Willows, the guy from S.A.?" "

Yeah! Harmony's dad. One of our guys got hurt so I said you could totally catch up and that you'd be perfect!"

He yells in my ear. "Rachel Berry! I love you!"

"But you have to come here soon. I don't know if he'll actually want you. You know, the choreographer, Jordan Jones, has to say okay; the director, Stephen Bronski, has to say okay..."

"Thank you for the chance anyway! I gotta call Blaine and my dad!"

"Okay," I laugh and then we both hang up.

Santana called and left a voicemail sometime during the day. Just to check in, she said, because we haven't been able to speak as often as we'd like us to. I call her back when I leave the studio later that night and we catch up.

After I hang up, I start getting ready for bed.

I'm brushing my teeth when Quinn calls. "Fhwello."

"Uh, hello?" She giggles. She's giddy. She got in! I spit quickly. Spit spit spit. "Sowwy! Bwuishing mah teeph." Spit. Rinse.

She laughs, "it's okay. I'm just calling to let you know-"

"You got the e-mail! You got in!" I yell. My mouth is finally clean.

"Yes! I did! I just checked my e-mail and there it was: 'Quinn Fabray, we are pleased to inform you...' I'm so excited!"

"Congratulations, baby. I never doubted you'd get in."

"Thank you. But, Rach, before I go, we gotta talk..." she starts carefully.

I pull my hair up in a ponytail and put the phone on speaker. "Okay, talk. I'm listening while I wash my face."

She clears her throat, "I'm always talking about being completely honest and I think that's the only way we'll ever build complete and utter trust. That being said," I throw some cold water on my face. I'm anxious about where this conversation is going. "Gaea will also be at John Hopkins; she had just texted me to say she got in - that's why I knew to go check my e-mail." My cupped hands freeze with cold water overflowing. Her voice snaps me out of it and I make a small noise to let her know I'm still listening. I close my eyes and dispense some face wash in my hands. "I just want you to know from the get go. There is no reason for you to be jealous. We're friends. If I'm not mistaken she has a thing with some guy going on, so it's all good, okay?"

"Okay," I say. I can do this. I can make this not become a big deal. And I can respect my girlfriend enough to trust her and let her know at the end of the day, I'm still hers. I'm actually okay with Gaea now. It's a good thing she just let me know ahead of time and now we don't have to fight about it next month or something. "Thanks for telling me."

"Cool. I'm glad we're on the same page. How were rehearsals today?"

"Pretty decent. Turns out we really do need to replace the guy that got hurt so I spoke to Mr. Willows and he'a giving Kurt a chance."

"That's so sweet! Kurt's amazing - they're gonna love him. Can you imagine? Headlining your first Broadway production with your best friend in the cast?"

I smile as I start picturing the sign with my name and Jesse's and our poster. Then I picture being in the play on an actual Broadway stage, with Kurt. "Babe, it's still off-Broadway." I dry my face with a small hand towel off to the side.

"Yeah, for now. Just give it some time. You'll see."

"I hope so! Kurt is going to be brilliant and this musical will be what makes me!" I turn off the lights and run to bed.

"Definitely. Hey, that video you posted on my Facebook? Already has over 1,300 views on YouTube. 1,200 of those were probably me -" she stops talking to laugh and I laugh along, "but it was really good. People keep sharing it and liking it and stuff."

I had no idea. I've been busy all day and I didn't even think to check for that because I made it especifically for her. "All that it matters is if you liked it." I tell her honestly. "You're my favorite." Every time I get to speak to her right before bed, I sleep better. But it also makes me miss her so much more. Her voice is always like a magnet that draws me toward her and I wish again that there weren't so many miles between us. "I love you, have I told you that recently?"

"Yes, but I still like hearing it. I love you, too. And guess what? You're my favorite."

"Do you think these next days will go by quickly?" I ask, eyes closed and picturing her next to me. She'd be turning to the side to look me in the eyes. She'd probably be running her long fingers through my hair while her hazel eyes searched my face.

"I hope so." I'd be relaxing into her touch, falling asleep, knowing she's right there.

"Hey," I say, "We should write each other."

"That'd be kind of nice. I'd like that," she reassures me.

"What are you doing?"

"Laying in bed, talking to you."

I giggle, "me, too. Lights out?"

"Yes. Can we- um, can we just stay like this for a while longer before we say good night and go to sleep?"

"We can stay like this for as long as you want, baby."


	30. Better Things (Passion Pit)

I get home late from work; no surprise there. It's Monday night and I've obsessed over my phone all day while at work, trying to send persuading brain waves to the John Hopkins people so they could accept me into the summer program.

It was to no avail.

Staring at my phone just reminded me how busy Rachel is all day and that I miss her. I saw her face on that video for the first time in a long time. The video was very welcomed and I loved it. I managed to watch it twice throughout the day, when the business in the restaurant was slow. At least I get to see her face, right? And hear her voice.

When I come out of the shower, I realize there's a text waiting for me.

Gaea: I DID IT! GO CHECK YOURS!

At this point in time, I'm believing they forgot all about us, but according to Gaea they haven't which means they sent all all e-mails together!

I immediately open the mail once again. It's blank. The mail app likes to freeze once in a while so I close the app and open it again. After a few quiet seconds of intense anxiousness of my part, the phone vibrates in my hand and I immediately click the new message. It is from John Hopkins. The subject: Summer Media Anthropology Program.

I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. I know I've said to more than one person I didn't think I'd get in but I'm so into it. I'm looking forward to it. I'm wishing for it. I have made mental scenarios of how certain things are supposed to happen. I want it.

My school transcript is practically impeccable. They'd have no reason not to accept. In fact, they should want me, I remind myself.

Scroll down. Open eyes.

'Quinn Fabray,

We are pleased to inform you have been accepted to our Summer 2012 Media Anthropology Program at John Hopkins, in DC.

In behalf of the creators of the program, we hope you will take this opportunity.

Sincerely,

Dr. Barton

Anthropologist & Journalist

Head of Dept. of Anthropology at John Hopkins University'

I let out a yell. I forget it's almost midnight here. My mother rushes upstairs with her robe still not properly tied and barges into my room. When she realizes how elated I am, she figures it's the response I've been waiting for and hugs me. "You got it!"

"I did!"

"You dad's gonna be so proud!" She rushes downstairs to tell him and I pick up my phone that fell out of my hands with the impact of her hug.

I dial Rachel's number by heart - I forget she's on my speed dial. She picks up immediately but sounds muffled. "Fhwello."

"Uh, hello?" I giggle because I'm just so happy and excited to tell her!

I hear a faucet start running on the other side and then the sound gets really hard to hear. I think she's muffling the phone on her chest. Then her voice comes back, "Sowwy! Bwuishing mah teeph." And soon she's gone again.

I laugh and attempt to speak, "it's okay. I'm just calling to let you know-"

"You got the e-mail! You got in!" She sounds like herself again. I can see her placing her toothbrush back on its proper spot in the holder, fancing the right, like always.

"Yes! I did! I just checked my e-mail and there it was: 'Quinn Fabray, we are pleased to inform you...' I'm so excited!" I can hardly contain my excitement. I know I'm practically yelling in her ear.

She really sounds proud of me when she says, "Congratulations, baby. I never doubted you'd get in."

This is the best time to approach the subject of Gaea being there. Just so she's aware and not worrying about it or whatever. "Thank you. But, Rach, before I go, we gotta talk..." I want to be careful about it but I want her to know that I really want to talk about it.

Her voice sounds distant and static-y; she put me on speakerphone, "Okay, talk. I'm listening while I wash my face." I sit on the bed and drop my cheek on my right hand.

I want her to always be honest with me, and I realized that pushing her to do so when she isn't always comfortable won't do us any good. So instead I'm going to approach this a different way. I'll always be honest with her and clear of my intentions and hopefully, she will reciprocate. Maybe it won't be instantaneous, but I know she loves me and because she does, I believe she will work on it. Maybe it's childish to think this way; maybe it's expecting too much and setting myself up for disappointment. But maybe she will learn to be honest right back. And that's worth it.

I clear my throat and begin, "I'm always talking about being completely honest and I think that's the only way we'll ever build complete and utter trust. That being said, Gaea will also be at John Hopkins; she had just texted me to say she got in - that's why I knew to go check my e-mail." I pause to let it sink in and she hums to let me know she's still listening. I sink back, the blaniets make way underneath me - this is comfortable. I stare intently at the white ceiling above me. "I just want you to know from the get go. There is no reason for you to be jealous. We're friends. If I'm not mistaken she has a thing with some guy going on, so it's all good, okay?"

"Okay," she says. She sounds pretty convincing actually. She adds, "Thanks for telling me."

"Cool. I'm glad we're on the same page." I say relieved this conversation didn't turn sour and then ask, "How were rehearsals today?"

"Pretty decent. Turns out we really do need to replace the guy that got hurt so I spoke to Mr. Willows and he'a giving Kurt a chance."

I smile, and say, "That's so sweet! Kurt's amazing - they're gonna love him. Can you imagine? Headlining your first Broadway production with your best friend in the cast?"

I can hear her smile and I know she's just trying to be humble when she says, "Babe, it's still off-Broadway." She's trying not to make this bigger than it is but I just know it will get picked up sooner rather than later.

"Yeah, for now. Just give it some time. You'll see."

"I hope so! Kurt is going to be brilliant and this musical will be what makes me!"

"Definitely. Hey, that video you posted on my Facebook? Already has over 1,300 views on YouTube. 1,200 of those were probably me -" I pause and think over my day, watching the video as many times as I could while at work, "but it was really good. People keep sharing it and liking it and stuff."

She says, "All that it matters is if you liked it." I can hear it in her voice the need to convey it to me. "You're my favorite." Hearing her say these things just makes me miss her so much more. This distance thing is getting old and just knowing it'll be a while until it's over, just- "I love you, have I told you that recently?" She asks. I think of that song that goes something like that?

Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there's no one else above you?

She is pretty at the top for me. "Yes, but I still like hearing it. I love you, too. And guess what? You're my favorite." How quickly this girl made permance in my heart and now I can't really picture my life before her.

"Do you think these next days will go by quickly?" She asks suddenly. I'm not sure but the first thing I think is what I say.

I get up and turn off the lights, knowing that I'm getting tired and I'll soon be falling asleep. "I hope so." If we were together at this moment, I'd be laying down next to her on her small bed, facing her perfect face, instead of on my own. My cold, Rachel-less bed. My fingers would be playing with her hair, and not grasping this phone - the only thing keeping me in touch with her. Without this phone, what would be of us?

What will be of us?

Did I make the right decision? Did she? I only hope that better things are coming. The future seems promising right now. Of course we both made the right decision - we each are taking care of our own destiny so we can be together then.

She might sense the mute shift in the conversation, because she says, "Hey," and I wait to hear what she's going suggest, "We should write each other."

"That'd be kind of nice. I'd like that," I say. I'd love that. Without phones I guess we'd still have writing. But writing in our world today is not reliable anymore. People forget - they stop; the world takes over and swallows you whole. I'm just hoping that when we say we'll write, we actually do. I smile when I close my eyes and imagine opening an envelope that smells like her and NY and reading her sloppy handwriting for someone who claims to be so neat all the time.

"What are you doing?"

"Laying in bed, talking to you." Thinking of you - hoping I were with you.

She giggles softly, "me, too. Lights out?"

"Yes." I tell her. Somehow, knowing we're doing the same thing brings a little bit of comfort. I'm alone but I'm not really. She's going through the same. And her voice brings me the peace and warmth to lull me to sleep. Still, I miss her terribly. Especially when we're on the phone and I can't kiss her, or hold her, or simply hold her hand. This position - this moment - is the only thing I have right now keepig me close to her. Knowing that soon I'll be even busier than right now just makes this harder. I have to cherish her. "Can we- um, can we just stay like this for a while longer before we say good night and go to sleep?"

"We can stay like this for as long as you want, baby." I have a feeling she knows where I'm getting at. I wish that the days would go by faster and slower. That I could count down the days and be with her right now but at the same time I want her to enjoy Spring Awakening and I want to enjoy my summer program.

Everything's easier when she's beside me.

"Tonight is supposed to be a happy moment for me. Somehow, I'm both ecstatic and midly depressed." I reveal to her, my eyelids getting droopy, my head getting heavy.

"You should be ecstatic. This is huge for you!" She says, trying to cheer up my moment of weakness.

"I am. I am really really. I can't wait until the day I'll get to tell you all about it face-to-face. Now, that'll be great." I smile.

"I can't wait either," she says whistfully.

Nine days later. It's bright and early, sunny. What a beautiful day and what a beautiful city. The skies are clear of clouds - not a speck of white to taint the sky blue hanging over us.

The campus is gorgeous - green and buildings mixed. Brick and concrete and grass. A few students are mingling right in front of where I'm standing, and they are clearly also here for the program. Gaea pulls on my elbow and I smile at her, accidentally (and may I say, somewhat out of character) hugging her on impulse. "We're here!"

"Don't ever leave my side," she says. The last part she whispers. "I'm a Comm major but I'd like to have a familiar face around as I mingle."

"I won't. We're buddies -" I say and she rolls her eyes, "okay, fine. Stick together, team." I flash her my perfect teeth and she shows me hers back.

"Let's do this."

We walk up to a table set up that says 'Welcome' and speak to the nice blonde girl behind it. She tells us her name - Caroline - and then finds both our names in the dormitory list. She gives us our room numbers and keys. I find out my roommate is a guy, something I had never considered or thought could happen. Caroline assures me that if it bothers me or it becomes a problem, they have no quelms about switching me around. Gaea's roommate is a girl.

We grab our bags and make way inside the dorm. We got up the elevator together. Everyone is basically on the same floor since there are only 25 of us and I like this. I think it'll make this experience much more personal.

Gaea's telling me how she's already looked up everyone and she actually knows what my roommate looks like. She explains to me that he looks like the guy from Fun. except cuter and a little more tan.

The elevator doors open and the hallway is packed. Suitcases and duffle bags are being moved around and others dodge them by jumping or staying close to the wall. Everyone here is smiling - at least most everyone.

We pass tree girls and a guy on the way out of the elevator and they make their way in. Gaea's room is right by the elevators so we stop there first. Her roommate is fixing a few things on top of her desk - laptop, required reading material I recognize, and a few extra items like a lamp and a picture frame. "Hi, I'm Sara. I'll be your roommate." Sara a pretty Asian. She reminds me of Tina but only because she doesn't ever stop smiling the entire time Gaea is introducing herself.

"I'm Gaea and this is Quinn, we both hail from a school in New York."

"That's sweet. Very nice to meet you," she tells me and extends her hand. The ends of her dark hair are dyed a lighter color - it suits her. I take her hand and shake it while she says, "I'm from Pennsylvania myself."

"I drove through Pennsylvania with my girlfriend this past Spring Break while going to Ohio," I offer with a smile. "It's a beautiful state."

"Yeah, I love it." She asks, "Majors?"

"Comm." Gaea is quick to say.

"Antro." I tell her.

"Hey! Me too." She high fives me and then says, "We're gonna be good friends."

"Well, we're just gonna go to my room to see it and meet my roommate and so I can drop my bags. After that we're probably going to explore. Want to come?" I invite her and make sure with Gaea with my eyes. She nods slightly with an approving glint in her eyes.

She seems to bounce in place in excitement and says, "definitely! Let me just put my shoes back on."

Turns out my roommate is cool. He waited until I got there so I could pick which bed I wanted. His name is Trey and he is from Cali. He does look like the guy frim Fun. but he has a bit more of a tan and his eyes are honey colored, kind of like mine, I notice.

The first thing I tell him after we introduce ourselves is "by the way, I'm gay and I have a girlfriend so no funny business." I tell him with a joking tone and a playful smile but he seems to get it that I mean it.

"Hey, that's cool - I have a girlfriend too. I know how chicks get with these things. She'll be pissed when I tell her they assigned me a girl roommate and then she'll be happy you're gay." He laughs and it's impossible not to laugh along. We invite him out with us and he says, "why the hell not? Three hot chicks? I'm so there!"

We're in Georgetown and it's bustling with life. We end up at a bar, after already going to a restaurant. We get to know each other, and Sara ends up getting three numbers; one of them from a girl. She says she's flattered and that it happens often. She doesn't look sorry when she throws them all away on her way out.

This bar has live music. We're having so much fun. I dance with Trey and with Gaea, and at a point with them both. I think of Britt. I think of Mike. I miss them.

Some guys pay for mine and Sara's drink when Gaea is in the bathroom and Trey is dancing with some girl I recognize from seeing around campus this afternoon. Gaea comes back and the guys end up paying for a drink for her too. I don't drink too much because I don't want to go back drunk and have a hangover on our first day of classes.

It's only when we're coming back to the dorm later that I realize Rachel's called four times. Shit. I forgot I told her I'd call when I got here. I don't know how I missed all these calls. I guess I was having too much fun that I missed it vibrate. She didn't even send a text - I hope she's not upset.

I call her as soon as the four of us break off into our respecting rooms. She picks up and I can tell she sounds tired. "Hi," I say softly. Trey gives me a half smile and stays out of the room to give me privacy and to call his own girl.

"Hi. You're alive!" She says sarcastically.

"I am. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier and that I missed your calls - I was..."

"Busy?"

"Yes. I'm sorry," I say again.

"It's just that I was worried when you never called and I didn't know if you made it there okay... and -"

"I know! I'm sorry." I sigh, disappointed in myself. "But I'm okay, I promise."

"And I was really looking forward to hearing all about your day..."

"And I'm going to tell you all about it." I promise her.

When I tell her about Trey she starts to throw a hissy fit but I calm her down and tell her I already told him there's no way and assure her that he has a girlfriend, too, and he gets it. She laughs, "You sound like you're having a good time. I'm not surprised."

"I am. I'm in my element. I love it so far. Actual lectures start tomorrow at nine."

"Looking forward to those?"

"Oh man. Yes and no. You know I hate taking notes but these people are the best in the area so they definitely know what they're talking about."

"I'm sure you'll enjoy it so much you'll forget you don't like notetaking."

I laugh and start undressing to shower. "I'm about to shower, babe. Can I call you in ten?"

She chuckles and says, "Can't I shower with you?"

Damn. Just that one sentence reminds me how long it's been since we've been together; since I touched myself, period. The heat flushes through my body and I gulp, thinking about the last time we had shower sex. It had been cramped and a little awkward but always so very satisfying with her. "I really really fucking wish you could..."

She laughs, her voice is lower than it was a second ago, "oh baby, damn it. Okay, go shower."

I hang up, now uncomfortable being half naked, since I'm so aroused, and knowing Trey can come in at any time. It's not like he could tell, but like, maybe he could. I rush to wrap a towel around my body, grab my toiletries, and make my way to the commons bathroom at the end of the halway.

I pass by him and he doesn't even look up. He seems to be having a serious conversation with the girlfriend, whom I now know is called Julie.

I take a cold shower.

I call Rachel once again after I'm back in the room. This time Trey does follow me in and then he leaves to shower too.

"I took the opportunity to shower myself." She informs me. "I needed the cold water to... Assuage."

"I know what you mean. I was completely fine if I didn't think about it but after you said it - it was all it took to realize how much I want it."

"I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to an orgasm. I've been so fucking stressed lately. With Kurt here the experience is ten times better but ten times more time- and energy-consuming."

I laugh at how blunt she is sometimes. "You know you love it that you have a roommate now."

"Yes, that has been great, I won't lie. Speaking of roommates, guess what?"

"What?"

"I spoke to Mike yesterday. He heard I've been looking for a place for next year and he offered the spare bedroom in his apartment. We're splitting rent 50/50."

"No way." I say, smiling already. I can't believe none of us thought about this before. Mike and Rachel living together would be so perfect. They're both organized and tidy. They know each other so it wouldn't be weird - perfect! "That's great babe. Really, it's perfect. He's such a nice guy."

"I know! I'm so excited. I'm waiting until he's back from Columbus, on the first week of July so I can move in with him, and Kurt will be staying with us for the duration of the summer. Until school starts."

"Sounds like you have got everything figured out."

"I'm pretty excited about that," she doesn't have to tell me for me to know she's nodding on the other side. "Now, tell me all about your day and what you did in D.C. tonight."

I'm in love. This program is everything I've been hoping for and more. It does keep me much busier than I've ever been during a summer though. Sometimes I stay out late with my friends working on collecting surveys from people we meet at bars or restaurants. Sometimes we stay out just to have a few drinks and clear our heads from the information overload throughout the day.

I check my mail one of those nights I get home too late to call Rach. She's probably been asleep for a long time now and calling her would just mean she doesn't get enough sleep.

There's an envelope and I realize that she actually did write. I have no idea when she had time to, but seeing hers and mine name on the paper in my hands gives me the butterflies. I can't wait to read what she wrote.

I carefully unfold the paper. It's written in a messy purple handwriting. There are pen marks all over and some words are blurred from what I assume is where her hand rubbed it accidentally. I smile, thinking of her purple palm and start reading.

'Dearest Qtie -

You're beautiful, did you know that? And I don't just mean that you're beautiful on the outside. Sure, you're the prettiest, most gorgeous, hot and sexy girl I've ever seen or met. Still, when I say that you're beautiful I mean it on the inside.

Sometimes I catch myself thinking of something I've seen you do or something you've told me. Most times I'm thinking of you... I'm thinking of how you narrow your eyes at someone when they're being stupid; or the way you bite your lower lip; or how you tend to irk that eyebrow at everything. Sometimes I think of the way you're protective of those you love and I often think of how honest you always choose to be, and it makes me want to be honest with you too. Those are the things that make you special - how much you care, how much you love, how real you are.

It dawns on me everyday how lucky I am. It's so overwhelming - all these feelings I have for you. If you love me at least a third of how much I love you, then it'd make me happy because I love you so much. And I miss you like no other.

I hope you're enjoying your classes and your new friends. I'm starting to get my things ready to move in with Mike.

We're going to Chicago in two weeks! We're finally going to perform in a workshop for the audience and hopefully they like it. I think we're staying there for about two weeks, so by the time I come back to New York, your summer program will be over and we'll finally see each other again. I know this is the first time I bring up Chicago, but they literally just informed me as I am writing your letter.

My lunch break is over in about two minutes so I'm saying good bye, but always remember how lucky I consider myself.

And also, remember: better things are coming.

I love you.

I'm in love with you.

Growing deeper in love each day,

Your Rachel.'

Immediately, I ignore the need to sleep and read for tomorrow's class, and find a paper and pen. Once I finish writing, I place it in an envelope, seal it, and kiss her name. I place the letter on top of the books for tomorrow so I don't forget to take it to the post office.

It's while I'm laying in bed that I decide I can't wait to see her any longer. I have to find a way to see her soon. I want to be with her and my heart aches every time I think of being with her and not being able to touch her.

In my head, I check my schedule for the next two weeks. I cross off possible dates, I try to remember her schedule and if she has time any day of these next weeks. And then I remember - July 4th. She doesn't work then. And everything in D.C. stops.

The moment I make my decision, I get on the computer and figure out tickets, and trains, and prices. I check my last lecture on Tuesday before the holiday and see that it ends at 6:30, but I have a lab right after which ends at 10. The best option I see is to leave on the next train - 1 AM. Be there a little over three in the morning. I need a place to stay, since the Cheerleading house isn't open yet. I don't want to ambush Rachel and show up at her dorm's or Mike's door at four without telling her. So I need to plan for a surprise. Figure out a way to be in New York without her knowing but with allies.

Kurt and Jesse. It's almost too perfect how everything works out.

I'm getting way too excited. Just the thought of seeing her again is making me giddy. Five days. I can do five days. It ain't nothing compared to the amount of time I've had to wait until now. But because it's so close, five days also feel unbearable!

"Kurt told me."

"I didn't know you and Kurt keep in touch over breaks," I tell Santana, chuckling as I chew an apple bite.

She laughs, "we don't. But he was so excited to hear the plan from you that he needed someone who loves Rach just as much to tell, so he called me. You should've called me! I want to help."

"There's nothing really left for you to do. I don't know how you can help from Ohio..." I can see her rolling her eye but smiling anyway. I offer, "I'll be in NY by 5 AM but I won't see her until much later. I'm going to spend the day preparing and hiding from her. It'll be really special."

"You know she'll die of a heart attack from seeing you. How long has it been since you Skyped instead of called?"

"Too fucking long," I complain.

"She's going to devour you in front of whoever's around." Santana jokes. Her laugh is evil, as if she planned to make me blush or be embarrassed by the thought.

What I say is, "I'm hoping she does."

She stops laughing abruptly, "ewwwww."

"I'm joking, you ass. But you started." My phone starts to beep. I check it, it's Rachel. "Hey, I gotta go - she's calling."

"Tell her I say hey."

The phone continues to beep, "I can't! She'll know something's up."

"Whatever." Santana hangs up.

"I got your letter! I love it! I absolutely aw'd at everything," she tells me as soon as the connection is made.

I take another bite of my apple, and smile, pleased to hear what she's telling me. "I'm glad you liked it. I wrote it as soon as I read yours. You should be writing back, don't you think?" I say with a teasing quality. I loved getting a letter but I'd much rather be listening to her talk.

"I will as soon as we hang up. I just had to call you after reading it. It made me all girly and smiley and I needed to hear your voice."

"I miss you, too." I tell her and bite again. "So Chigago?"

"Yes. We leave on Thursday after Independence Day." I know she's excited. This girl lives for moments like this, and with the progression her musical is making - her future looks so good. "But like I wrote on the letter - I'll be back in New York when you're back, so -"

I tell her with everything in me, "I cannot wait until I see you again."

And she agrees, "me neither." She's thinking about weeks from now.

I'm thinking three days.

Exhaustion doesn't even do justice to how I'm feeling. I let the warm water wash over my face. It feels both great and amazingly strange to be back in New York. I missed the sounds of the city. I missed the sights and smells - the tall concrete and the smell of people and trash and food and Freedom. It's all surreal.

I open my eyes and smile. It's so worth it. I get to surprise my girlfriend today. I lift Jesse's shampoo ("Use anything you need, Quinn!") and read the back of it. I could use my own but I got lazy when I grabbed my things out of my bag to shower, and he offered. Plus, he has great hair so I'm assuming the products he uses are great.

Rachel has no idea I'm here. I add a dollop of Green Apple to my hand and then lather my hair. I wonder what she's doing right now. She's probably still asleep.

When Jesse picked me up at the train station this morning, he told me that Kurt and Rachel were planning on sleeping in - on Kurt's begging. Rachel, being Rachel, wanted to wake up early as always but Kurt promised Jesse and I that he would force her into staying in bed, even if he had to give her roofies. Of course that's not true, and I'm sure it didn't take much cajoling for her to realize how tired she is and agree with him. After, they're all going out to a late brunch - Kurt, Jesse, Mike, and Rachel.

Meanwhile, I'll be getting ready and preparing our date for tonight. A date she has no idea will be happening.

The Spring Awakening cast and crew leave tomorrow at around three in the morning, so I'll go and drop her off at the airport and leave straight to the train station to make out back by my first lecture at 9:30 am. We have one night and I'm planning to make it count.

My first stop is the Home Depot.

Jesse walks with me to the Home Depot and to Mike's apartment. He has just texted Rachel that he's on his way. I stay behind and watch as he and Rach talk about where to eat as they wait for Kurt and Mike to come down. Rachel has her back to me but she's so close. I'm itching to run to her, pull her around and land one on her mouth, but I can't - it'd ruin the surprise and as much as I want to hold her, I want to hold her after surprising her more.

I paid the taxi cab man to wait for a while, just for the time being that I wait for them to be leaving. I keep my head behind the opened trunk of the yellow car and only when Kurt shows up does Jesse wink at me. That's my cue.

I grab the large pot of flowers I bought and hold it up in front of my face. I slowly make my way from behind the car and around Kurt and Mike. I bump into Rachel - on purpose - and she says, "Hey! Watch where you're going!"

I stiffle a laughter and disappear from her line of sight, quickly. I use the crowd to keep me well hidden and force myself not to search for her eyes in the crowd.

Somehow, I still pick up Rachel's voice in the multitude of people, "sometimes these New Yorkers are just so rude. That person didn't even apologi-" as I make my way inside the building and up the steps.

Soon later I get a text from Kurt.

Kurt: you can come back down and get the rest of the stuff. We will be gone for a while. See you later?

Quinn: definitely. Thanks for all your help ;)

Not even a second later, Rachel texts me.

Rach: just got bumped by someone in New York that if I didn't know better, I'd believe it was you. About the same height and when I looked back, I caught just a glimpse and saw they also had blonde hair... somehow it got me wishing that it had been you, even for that split second. Come bump into me soon!

I laugh and thoroughly enjoy the thought of when Rachel finds out that it had been me. I'm just glad she didn't recognize me. Thankfully, I got mixed in with the people around us fast enough for her not to realize that she actually knew the bumper.

Qtie: maybe it was me lol my clone!

Rach: don't play around, babe. You don't know how much I wish you were here and not all the way in D.C.

Qtie: sorry :/ but hey, a dream is a wish your heart makes. So wish enough and maybe the dream will come true

Rach: haha okay, Walt Disney. You're in an incredibly great mood today. What's the occasion?

Qtie: it's Independence Day! You should be thankful you live in a free country!

Rach: lol I am. What are your plans for the day?

Qtie: a party, you? And maybe seeing you? Don't you have a break today? Can we Skype?

Rach: yes. Please! Let's Skype right before you leave for your party. I have one too. It's at around 6, is that good?

Qtie: 6 is perfect. I'll be seeing you soon ;) I gotta go now but I'll text you to see if you can Skype yet.

Rach: k, beautiful. Love ya

Qtie: me too.:)

I grab the remaining two large plastic bags and carry them up the stairs, and don't stop before running right back down and making way to the nearest furniture store.

Once that's done with, I go back to Jesse's neighborhood, visit the market, buy fresh ingredients and start baking. She deserves the best.

By the time everything is really done and ready, it's already 5 in the afternoon. The party Rachel's going to is at one of their friend's from Spring Awakening. From what I hear, the hostess is expecting me too, thanks to Kurt and Jesse.

I don't hurry to get ready just yet. I know Rachel will want to Skype soon because she'll want to arrive at the party right on time.

I want to be there a little after 8. It's enough time for her brain to forget she was just on Skype with me, but to also ingrain it in her mind - how could it possibly be me she's seeing if we were just on Skype?

My lips have to smile at how well I know Rachel. She's texting me and it's 5:13. It's a little later than what I was expecting, but I text her back and say that I'm ready to Skype too and let her know how much I can't wait to see her face.

The Skype ring plays.

I pick up.

The screen is dark.

The excitment in my stomach grows.

I love the 4th of July.


	31. Enchanted (Taylor Swift)

My Rachel,

Getting your letter just about made my week. You, girlfriend, shower me with compliments and love each and every day. And I just want you to know that I don't love you only a third of what you love me. I love you three times as much.

You are the reason why the world is so bright to me. You are the reason why the sun shines every day and why the flowers blossom. I didn't know the phenomenon behind these things until I met you. See, some people call it the seasons and explain it as the earth revolving around the sun. I say that these things happen because you're in the world, and because the world feels like it has to be beautiful for you. They're gifts from nature to you. To host someone as amazing as you, baby girl, is really a privilege and the world knows that.

I know that. I know that and I am the lucky one out of the two of us. I smile, because this reminds me of one of our early conversations over coffee.

I just wish that I could be holding you right now. Feeling your skin on mine gives me the energy to keep going. Kissing your lips, looking into your eyes - sources of energy. You're everything I never knew I wanted, needed, hoped for and more.

So please, don't ever forget that either. My eyes might remind you of the stars, but it's because they're reflecting looking at you - a star itself. Full of light and beauty. And then I get all fucking full of myself because you're all mine.

I'm obsessed with you; I'm addicted. I want it more the more I have it.

We all have our junk, darling, and my junk is you.

Don't ever change. Your sense of humor, your bubbly laughter, your drive - these are all things that drive me insane! My stomach starts twisting and my heart fights against itself to escape my ribcage around you. My entire body betrays me when you're around because it always wants to be nearer and nearer to you. My body buzzes, dances, sings when you're around. And even when you're not - just thinking about you makes it go haywire. If I'm trying to get something done and I think of you, it's a goner.

Every cell of my body is in love with you,

Forever yours,

Qtie.'

I'm still gripping the paper in my right hand, giving it wrinkles, when I hold onto her speed dial. She takes a while to pick up. I fidget and go back and re-read some of the lines while I wait. I recognize the junk metaphor as a quote from one of the songs in Spring Awakening that I've sang for her late some night while on the phone; she listened. She's always listening. Somehow, she makes the analogy of love and drugs seem even more beautiful than in the song. I notice the paper ripped at the top. When she does pick up, I immediately tell her, "I got your letter! I love it! I absolutely aw'd at everything,"

She sounds like she's chewing on something when she says, "I'm glad you liked it. I wrote it as soon as I read yours. You should be writing back, don't you think?" She's just playing because by the way she says it, I know she doesn't really want me to hang up just yet.

"I will as soon as we hang up," I promise her. "I just had to call you after reading it. It made me all girly and smiley and I needed to hear your voice." My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.

"I miss you, too." She says. Then, "So Chigago?"

We haven't really talked about it yet, so I tell her what I know. "Yes. We leave on Thursday after Independence Day." I'm so looking forward to it all. Experimenting an audience for the first time - receiving their feedback and energy. "But like I wrote on the letter - I'll be back in New York when you're back, so -"

"I cannot wait until I see you again," she says.

"Me neither." I wonder if I can speed up the next weeks so I can see her. And keep it slow at the same time so I can enjoy my musical. Is there a technology for that out there yet?

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" I yell at the person who bumps into me. When I do a double take - because she is tall and blonde like my girlfriend - she's gone. If only it were her, I wouldn't mind it if she bumped into me. Quinn would not be in New York carrying around a pot of Gardenias, though.

I turn to Jesse and say as we walk away, "sometimes these New Yorkers are just so rude. That person didn't even apologize." The back of my mind is nagging the entire time. She looked so much like Quinn - text her.

He laughs, and Kurt joins in. Mike whistles at a cab and he stops. "You know you love New York and the rudes," he says. There's a taxi parked on the curb already but there are bags in its trunk. I pull out my phone to text Quinn while the cab is taking us to the breakfast joint.

Rach: just got bumped by someone in New York that if I didn't know better, I'd believe it was you. About the same height and when I looked back, I caught just a glimpse and saw they also had blonde hair... somehow it got me wishing that it had been you, even for that split second. Come bump into me soon!

Quinn's response comes immediately.

Qtie: maybe it was me lol my clone!

Rach: don't play around, babe. You don't know how much I wish you were here and not all the way in D.C.

Qtie: sorry :/ but hey, a dream is a wish your heart makes. So wish enough and maybe the dream will come true

Rach: haha okay, Walt Disney. You're in an incredibly great mood today. What's the occasion?

Qtie: it's Independence Day! You should be thankful you live in a free country!

Rach: lol I am. What are your plans for the day?

Qtie: a party, you? And maybe seeing you? Don't you have a break today? Can we Skype?

Rach: yes. Please! Let's Skype right before you leave for your party. I have one too. It's at around 6, is that good?

Qtie: 6 is perfect. I'll be seeing you soon ;) I gotta go now but I'll text you to see if you can Skype yet.

Rach: k, beautiful. Love ya

Qtie: me too.:)

For some reason Kurt insists I have to wear this white dress we bought today while shopping. He says it shows my legs and makes my ass look great. Mike silently agrees from the kitchen where he's making some drink to take to the party - one should never show up empty handed, especially if one doesn't know the hostess, he explained. Apparently this drink will be killer.

I cross one ankle over the other, straightening my legs on the ottoman of my new-ish apartment, which I haven't finished moving into. Kurt throws me the navy blue sandals from the bag and says, "go finish getting ready. You still have to Skype Quinn before we leave, remember? And Simone lives on the ofher side of-"

"I get it!" I tell him. I'm just messing with his head; sometimes he's worse than I am about leaving on time. I'll be ready by the time we have to leave to make it there on time. I grab the sandals and make my way to my room. There are boxes all over the place. The only thing mildly organized is my desk. I tell myself I won't die when this is what I encounter when I come back from Chicago.

I open my laptop, sit on my new, black desk chair and click the Skype button.

I text Quinn and ask her if she can Skype.

She says she's been waiting.

I smile and wait for the program to open up. When it does, I find her name and call her. It rings and then the connection is made. I'm putting my sandals on, my right knee bent up on the chair, and trying to keep my curled bangs from my eyes with my shoulder.

It takes a while for the videos to start working. Quinn looks ecstatic. She's on a bed of some sort. It looks familiar but I can't place it. Then I remind myself it's impossible that I know this place because I've never been to D.C.

"Hello!" She says and waves and it's so adorable it makes my heart want to hug her.

She looks a lot more tan than I've ever seen her. The summer sun of Ohio and now Washington D.C. have really done her well. She looks good and radiant.

"Hi," I say, smiling. "You look - different." I frown for a second and then smile, "but a good different! You look gorgeous as always."

"Thanks," she says. "I like - no, I love your hair like that."

"I know." A smug smile makes its way to my face. "I mean, it's been a while since we've seen each other and I wanted to look nice for you."

She shakes her head as if convincing herself of something, "You always look beautiful to me. No matter what. But I do appreciate the thought."

"Don Juan," I wink. "Where's your party?"

She looks like a deer caught in headlights but only for a second and then she says, with hesitancy, "a friend's..."

"So... In a dorm?" I ask, and smile, teasing her.

"Hey! I've met some people ther- I mean, here. So you know. Well, okay, party's on campus, do I sound super lame and uncool?"

I laugh at her and check the time. Ten minutes to go. "No, you're still the coolest person I know. Remember? You're the popular cheerleader and I'm the theater geek."

She exhales, exaggeratingly so, and says, "thank goodness I'm still cooler than you."

"Don't get too excited now - you are the one going to a lame academic excuse of a party while I'm going to the -"

"I get it!" She throws her hands up in fake surrender and we both laugh. "Oh, how I've missed you."

"I miss you."

"Shouldn't you be leaving soon to your cool party?" She reminds me when we're quiet for a few minutes.

"I don't want to go -" I admit to her. "I'll have to force laughter and fake smiles, while I'm at the party, just thinking of how far you are."

"I promise you'll have a better time than you think," She tells me. It sounds like she knows something I don't.

"Babe?" I ask. "Are you not telling me something?"

She smiles, "okay. I'll tell you. I got you a surprise and it's already in New York. Jesse has it."

I bounce on my butt and clap twice, "Oh my! I love surprises!"

"I know. I was going to make Jesse wait and only give it to you later but I'll just tell him it's cool to give it to you as soon as you get there."

I can't contain the squeal, "Now I really want to go! Promise it'll be good?" I ask to make sure it's worth saying goodbye to her.

She laughs, "I really hope so?" Then she amends, "Yes. It's really good."

"Okay then. If that's the case, I'm leaving!" I announce and get up from the chair in my excitement. I lean forward to look the camera right on, "Love you!" I kiss the palm of my hand with a loud smack and then blow it at her.

"I love you." She points at me and tilts her head, looking at me with adoring eyes. She catches the kiss - which is coming at her with full blown force apparently (because she throws herself back on the bed when she catches it) - and says while she gets back up, " And hey, when you get the package, be careful not to break it - it's fragile." Carefully, she touches the kiss to her heart.

I nod vehemently, trying to soak in this information and know when I get it not to ruin it. "Okay. Have fun tonight!"

"I will. Bye." She waves again, just like when I had first called.

I run out of my room and grab my red satchel on the way out. I throw it over my shoulder as I come out into the living room. Kurt is grabbing a platter of cold cuts from the refrigerator and Mike is dumping the drink into a container.

"Ready?" I ask them. They both look at me and smile.

"Why are you so excited all of a sudden?" Kurt asks, trying to figure out the cause of my sudden happiness.

"She was just on Skype with Q. They probably -" Mike tries to say.

"She told me she sent me a package!" I interrupt him while blushing. I avoid eyes for a while and then make eye contact with Kurt. "So let's go? Jesse has it!"

Kurt looks at Mike and they both burst out laughing and all of a sudden I realize that they probably knew about it too. "Okay, honey, let's go." Kurt says and thrusts his head at the door. I grab a bag with chips and salsa from a kitchen stool and we go down the stairs together. "You're gonna love it - she told me what it is."

"Me, too." Mike agrees. "You just gotta be careful with -"

"It's fragile, I know!" I complete his sentence. He nods and laughs quietly. He holds the clear door that leads outside of the building open for me. "Why does Simone have to live so far away? I need to be there yesterday!"

I try to think of what it could possibly be that Quinn got me? A bouquet? A perfume? A good luck charm for Chicago?

Mike gets us a cab and we all sit in the back, holding each item close to our bodies as the crazy driver sews through traffic.

When he stops in front of the loft, I've already been trying to push Kurt out of the car. "Here, give me that." Mike offers and takes the bag from me. I thank him - or at least I think I do - and hand it over to him. Kurt moves out of the way and shakes his head.

Santana texts me.

San: Q is like super excited for you to get the damn package. Britt is asking me to tell you to be careful with it.

Britt went out to Lima when Quinn and then Mike both left Columbus. She's staying at Santana's for the time being, and Santana finally told her parents about what their relationship really is. They hugged the both of them and established rules. I can just imagine Santana's face when her mother was telling her, "no sex in the house if the rest of the family is present!"

I reply as the elevator makes its way up. Last fucking floor. It's taking forever.

Rach: I am too! And yes, I will be very careful.

Apparently everyone knew of this except me.

I try and fail to keep my toes from tapping the elevator floor in anxiousness.

It finally stops. I wait impatiently as the doors open and it opens straight into the living room.

The first thing I notice are the large windows. The skyline of New York City from here is beautiful. I smile and then take in the sights of the party. People in American colors, the table set with food and drinks. Some people mingle by the floor-to-ceiling windows. There's a group chatting right in front of the elevator doors.

Eagerly, I start looking for Jesse. He's nowhere to be seen and it's starting to upset me. He should've been here! We agreed to make it here by six, since he insisted in going home after shopping.

Finally I spot him in the kitchen. He's talking to someone but I can't see their face because they're behing a wall. When he spots me, he grins and opens his arms from there so I can come to him. And then he looks back at the person speaking. He nods. He drops his arms and instead he winks at them, then at me and walks the other way and -

"Hey!" I end up shouting at him. I'm frustrated.

When I open my eyes again, it's just in time to see the person come out from behind -

'Hi,' She mouths.

Holy fucking shit.

She smiles and bites her bottom lip, and waits.

I want to run at her and throw myself into her arms but my feet don't seem to want to move. Is this a mirage? If I do jump at her will she catch me or disappear into thin air?

My chest suddenly needs more air than ever and I realize my eyes are tearing up.

"God, it's you." I say.

It feels like the entire room is gone and there's only her and I in the world. She looks beautiful. She's here.

She seems to hear me and starts walking toward me. Every step she takes seems to take longer than the other, but at the same time I can see her walking faster. "No, not God... Just Quinn." She jokes, shrugs, and bashfully looks at me from under her eyelashes.

I finally snap out of it. She's fucking here, within feets of me and I'm stopped, glued to the floor. I start walking too, and I realize that with every one of my steps my heart beats stronger - like getting small jolts of electricity.

My pace picks up until I'm running the rest of the short distance and she - like every other time - picks me up right on time and wraps her arms around my shoulders. I bury my head in the crook of her neck and in her hair, and my legs tangle behind her back, in the middle of the living room.

The hug lasts a lifetime and not long enough.

"Surprise," she whispers into my ear.

I pull back just enough to look her in the eyes and when I make sure she really is here and her cheeks are within my hands, I bury my head again. I grip her back tighter and she does the same. Her laughter is soothing.

Her entire body shakes as she laughs and I'm trying to figure out how she's here and how many minutes longer can we stay like this. Once again I pull back to look at her. "You're here." My thumbs caress her cheeks, carefully feeling her on my fingertips. I run them under her jaw, and then use my knuckles to softly make my way up to her hair. I run my hands through her blonde mane twice, and then grip it and pull on it lightly. My hands find their way to her neck and I hold on to it, and massage to back of it with my fingers.

She nods, "yes I am. You're literally on top of me at a stranger's house. It's really me." Her eyes smile as bright as her lips. I want those lips. I rememeber I can kiss her if I want.

I lunge forward and grab her bottom lip with my teeth, and she laughs through a sharp breathe of air. I soothe the bite with my tongue, ignoring the thought in my head that says there are a lot of people surrounding us.

She deepens the kiss, ignoring that too.

When the kiss breaks, she kisses the tip of my nose and lingers. She doesn't move away. I open my eyes and there she is. Her eyes are closed and she's frowining. I wonder what she's thinking about. I close my eyes and feel her.

"You smell like Green Apple."

"It's Jesse's shampoo." Jesse - that bastard. Gracious, loving, beautiful, ridiculous bastard. Him and Kurt. And Mike! Santana too! Even Britt. I love my friends.

I open my eyes and then run the tip of my fingers over her cheekbones again. "Oh my God. I still can't believe it's you." Wait, Jesse's shampoo - "You showered at Jesse's but why isn't your hair wet? Did you blow dry it?" I tap her on the arm softly to let her know I can come down if I'm getting heavy but she just nuzzles my cheek and then down my neck. It tickles but I missed it. I'm glad she doesn't let me go.

"I got here this morning. You needed someone to bump into."

I gasp, "that was you?" She giggles against my neck and I feel a tentative lick. She's using my hair to keep others from seeing it. "Are you trying to tell me you've been here all this time and I just get to see you now?" I ask, suddenly very outraged at the thought.

She doesn't move away from my neck. She starts to press light kisses to my skin there, "I needed time."

I managed to get her to look me in the eyes by using my hand to move her chin. She's still smiling. I soften up and smile too. She'd been crying. Quietly. It almost went unnoticed by me. I use both thumbs to dry up the tears and then kiss her cheek. "I'm sorry for being upset; I'm just really selfish and needy and want you all to myself. What did you need time for?"

She considers the question and then answers with another question, "Do you want to get out of here and spend some time with me?" She bites her lip expectantly again. Like hell I'm staying at this party when she's here! In New York! I don't even know how she could possibly ask that.

"Of course, baby." My heart swells with love and I kiss her again. "Don't ever have to ask me that."

She kisses my lips once more before dropping me carefully. When my feet touch the ground again, it's like the other people in the loft suddenly appear. I look around quickly and find the three boys - Mike, Kurt, and Jesse - standing on the opposite end of the loft, by the windows. They each raise a glass at us. I smile and mouth at them, 'love you boys.' Nobody else has really been paying attention.

Quinn's hand running down my arm and interlacing our fingers brings me right back to her, "Come on. I have something for you."

I squeeze her hand and let her guide me though the apartment of dancing people and into the elevator. As soon as the doors close, we're all over each other. I don't know which one of us intiated it but it doesn't even matter. Her thigh is between my legs and her lips are on mine. Her hands are on my lower back grabbing and running up my shoulders to hold me.

"I missed you." I kiss into her mouth.

She opens her mouth and our tongues touch, sparks fly. "I missed you, too. So much."

"I'm glad you came."

"I couldn't stand not to see you for another week."

Our chests are rising in harmony. The elevator stops. We stand still, looking into each other's eyes, until the doors open. She licks her lips and then cups my chin to kiss me one last time before we walk out the elevator.

"We're walking first." She informs me. I don't know what comes after the walk but it doesn't matter to me - whatever we end up doing is fine with me. I nod and listen to her, "Didn't I tell you that Independence Day was a great day?"

"You did! But you knew about this and I didn't!" I pout and she laughs.

"I also told you that if you wished hard enough your dream could come true." She looks really cute in the blue jeans and white and blue stripped shirt. It's sleeveless and I just love how great her arms look. She's wearing red converse. I sigh, completely in love with this girl. She looks really hot and cute at the same time. She pulls some sunglasses from God knows where (because I've literally only seen her since we left Simone's) and puts them on. The aviators I love.

"You were playing with my feelings!" I say and we laugh. She holds my hand tighter.

We walk hand in hand, talking about pointless things, like how the birds had been singing louder today and I should've just known. I complain that I couldn't tell it was her in the morning and she just says that it's probably because I wasn't looking for her.

She tells me how Baby Lea's hair is getting lighter and how she's getting bigger each day. Her sister sends her pictures to keep her updated.

"Are you hungry?" She asks, already grabbing the handle of the door of the restaurant we're in front of.

I nod. My stomach growls softly at the sound of food. I didn't even notice I was but I guess I am. She holds the door open with one hand and removes the sunglasses with the other. Watching her do these familiar things just makes me so happy.

The restaurant is a Mediterranean place. We're seated almost immediately even with the long wait because of the holiday. She explains to me she made reservations five days ago. I can't stop smiling.

"You're amazing." I tell her and shake my head because I just can't understand how I got so lucky. The waitress has already left for drinks.

She places a hand on top of mine and wraps her other arm around my waist, bringing me closer. I let myself bask in her. I snake my free hand up and around her neck, and play with the hair behind her ear. I close my eyes and listen to her voice soothe me as it falls over my ear like the wave kisses a shore. "You're everything. I hated being far away from you."

"Can we just repeat this day like in Groundhog Day?"

"I'll get right on it for you," she says and kisses my ear.

I hum, because words are superfluous.

Eventually the food comes and we eat. We eat mostly in silence, stealing lingering glances and telling so much with eyes.

'I can't wait to taste you.' Her eyes tell me. I know because I've seen that look enough times before.

My eyes tell her the exact same thing.

When we're through, she tells me to get up and we leave. When she passes by our waitress she tells her thank you so much for the lovely experience and I'm dumbfounded. "They already had my card in the system. All she had to do was run it," she explains when I ask what just happened.

She does get a cab for us now. When we're seated, she gives him the address and I - wait, that's where I live now. "We're going to Mike's? I mean, my place?"

"Yes and no." She says and offers me a half-smile.

I grab her by the back of her neck and assault her lips one more time just because I can't get enough of her and knowing our time is precious, I need to take advantage of it. Her arms are stretched out on the seat behind us and she just sits there and kisses me back. I think she forgets she has her hands for a while and I need for her to be touching me, so I grab her right hand, without bothering to stop kissing, and place it on my waist. She gets the hint and does the same with the left.

I really try to keep the noises to a minimum but when she leaves my lips to kiss my neck, I have to bite my lip hard not to moan out loud. My desire is growing by tenfold with the touch of her pefect lips on my skin.

"I love this dress." She says. Her hands travel down my ass and she grabs a handful. I use the momentum to straddle her. "Really really nice dress," she mumbles.

My head hits the ceiling, "Fuck. Kurt."

She stops kissing me and questions me, "Fuck Kurt?" She makes a face and goes back to kissing me, "no thanks. I'd rather fuck you." We're trying to whisper these things to each other because of the driver, but when I look back to check, he doesn't seem to be paying attention. He's probably used to people making out in the back of his cab.

I turn to face her and say, "No," I shake my head, needing that image out of there pronto. "He made me buy it. I'm sure he knew you'd like it." I lean forward, dip my chin, and capture her lips again. She lets me in her mouth and I feel her moan more than hear it.

When I pull away, "Ah," she says. "Smart gay best friend. Keep him."

"I plan on it," I tell her and now I'm content with just laying on her like this. I place my ear above her heart and she wraps me tightly. We inhale together and she slowly blows air on my forehead. The air feels good. I didn't realize how hot I was - how hot it's been. I look up at her and she's looking down at me and our eyes sizzle. I want to grab her desperately and feel her, but I want to savor every moment. I don't want to rush the sex, and even if it doesn't happen, I'd be okay, as long as we're cuddling each other all night.

The taxi stops in front of my the building, and I try to offer to pay for this at least, but she won't let me. She holds my wrist when I reach for my bag and she says, "don't," with a soft smile. I nod slightly, and she pays him while I open the door and walk out.

I wait for her, with my hands clutching the satchel's strap, and can't help but smile at the way she squints to look at me. The sun is just now setting, but the difference in the lighting from inside the car and outside of it takes a while to adjust. I take two steps forward and hold out my hand open, palm up, for her to take it.

She does, and she kisses the back of it, and then we walk up the stairs to my place. I reach for keys, and she looks at me, waiting. I open the door and she points at the kitchen, "May I?" I don't really know what she's asking permission for, but I nod anyway. She can do whatever she wants. I stand at a loss for what to do in the middle of my living room, and watch as she opens the refrigerator and brings out a container with strawberries, I think, and then a pot of whipped cream. She also grabs another container, but I can't tell what's inside. "Okay, we're ready." She balances all of those things on one arm, and then reaches back inside for a glass of wine I didn't even know we had.

"How did you get those in here without me seeing?" I ask, trying to understand how she managed all that she managed by far.

"I have friends everywhere you know," She winks. "Jesse dropped them off for me when he left you and Kurt shopping to go home early. He's been great."

I smile, "I can't believe this was all happening right under my nose and I missed it all!"

She simply shrugs and then says, "Could you open the door, please?" And points her chin at it. I hesitate because why are we leaving when we just got here, but she just assures me, "I promise you'll like it."

I trust her. If there's one thing about this girl that I'll never worry about is her breaking that trust.

"Can I take some of that?" I offer, "at least let me to this." And I insist on taking the wine from her hand. I notice we don't even have glasses but I know we won't need them.

We make our way to the stairs - I open the door again - and instead of going downstairs, like I had thought would happen, she starts walking upstairs. I frown at the back of her head, still not being able to stop smiling or stop thinking how she did all of this, but follow her. "Come on, Berry. We ain't got all the time in the world."

I run up three of the steps to match her pace, and she looks down at me with a hint of a smirk playing on her face.

We finally reach the very last floor. I didn't even think we could be up here. It's the roof. She nods at the door, and when I turn the knob, it gives easily. The heavy metal door creaks as it opens. She nudges it further with her shoulder and then crosses the threshold. I take a look around and -

"Oh my," I breath out and my free hand goes to my mouth. "This is spectacular." I tell her and start walking toward the middle of the roof.

The big pot of Gardenias she was carrying earlier - she took them all and re-potted them into smaller pots. Then she lined them all on either side of the door and made a corridor of flowers up to where there is a carpet on the floor. It's a beautiful carpet - completely white, matching the hue of the flowers - and it looks really comfortable. On top of said carpet, pillows of every shape and size. Three colors: violet, light pink, red.

I look up at her and she smiles, "Milady?" Offering the crook of her elbow. I hook my hand around it and let her walk to the place. I start to pay attention to the other details. Two warm blankets folded, and a gardenia sitting atop of them. A red candle, sitting in a bowl, at every corner of the carpet. They're not lit. Besides one of the candles, there is a lighter. "So?" She asks expectantly when we're standing at the edge of the carpet. She kneels and takes off my sandals, then helps me to sit.

"So? This is amazing. You've really outdone yourself or anything I've ever done or could do."

She sits next to me and scoots closer, then drops the containers on top of the carpet. "Babe, you deserve everything I could ever give you."

I kiss her lips softly, trying to convey my thanks. "I'm just so happy I get to spend tonight with you."

"Hey- there's one rule: no talking about being away for the rest of the evening, okay?" She crawls away, and looks back at me. My eyes are fixed on her ass, because damn - it's right there. I bite my lip and she smirks. She lights up the four candles and then comes back to me, hovering over me.

The sky is darker than it was when we got here. The stars are coming out to play and the moon is hanging above her head in its full glory. "I promise."

"Okay, good." She lays back and throws her hands up above her head and looks at the sky. "I'm so happy," then she looks at me and beckons me with her index finger. Quickly, I scramble to lay next to her and as soon as I'm facing her, her hand is on my face. It feels warm to the touch.

"Do you want some strawberries and ice cream? And I baked you some cookies. And we have the wine."

I tell her, "I love cookies."

We eat the baked goods and enjoy the wine while in each other's arms. She feeds me some strawberries with the whipped cream. Then she takes some whipped cream on the tip of her index finger and runs it across my cheeks, over my nose. "Now, you look decadent." It's getting colder -not extremely so, but the wind picks up. She runs a hand down my bare arm and asks, "are you cold?" I shake my head. She kisses my cheek where the whipped cream ends and licks it off. Then she uses her thumb to clean it up and licks it off her finger. "I want to make love to you tonight," she whispers, and then her eyes fall to my lips and then back to mine.

"Please, do. I want you." I tell her as if it's a secret. She barely smiles, focused on my lips now.

This next kiss is different than all other ones. It feels different, and I know we both feel it. Our chests touch and next thing I know she's on top of me. I fight it and make sure I'm on top of her again. I grab her by the wrists and slowly trace a pathway down her slender arms, feel the muscles twitch to my touch, smirk. My hands dip underneath her shirt and feel the same happen on her stomach muscles. She bites her lower lip and pink dusts her cheek. I start making circles on her skin with my thumbs and start to drag my hands up, removing the shirt along the way.

"I love you so much."

"I love you, I love you."

"Hey," She smiles at me. Her face is completely flush. Her eyes are droopy in a satisfied way. I smile back.

"Hi, yourself."

We're both naked on the roof of this building, and thankfully, the candle lights aren't bright enough to light up all around us, so there's not possibility someone can see us right now. I shiver, this time I'm cold, and she giggles, gets up and grabs the blankets, and comes back. She throws them both over me, and then makes her way under it too. My arms wrap her up and she moves a lock of my hair behind my ear.

"I have one last surprise," she grabs her jeans, and finds her phone in the pocket. "It's 9:13pm," she looks at me and irks an eyebrow.

I'm confused as to why the time matters but I'm glad in just laying here and waiting with her to find out. "I will never forget Fourth of Julys."

She kisses me again, and I inhale her in. Her scent attacks me and I wouldn't have it any other way - I missed it.

She reaches for the phone again. It's 9:17. And then it hits me. "Oh, wow."

Quinn giggles and sits up. She props her back against a pile of pillows and then wraps me up. I lean back on her and she kisses my shoulder. "Yeah. I thought we could watch the fireworks together."

Right on time they start. They're marvelous. Bursts of red, blue, and white take over the sky for a long while. I'm not sure how long we're like this. I'm bot even sure when, but before the fireworks stop, her hand is cupping my chin and bringing my attention back to her. She kisses my bottom lip. Then my top lip. She smiles against my mouth.

I tug at her waist, and my hand dips lower, grabbing her ass and pulling her closer. She lets out a small grunt. "I love you." She says.

"I love you too, beautiful."

"Let's never be aw-"

"Hey, none of that talk, remember?" I nuzzle her cheek, her neck. I look deep into her eyes and she nods. "C'mere. Kiss me again."

She indulges me and kisses me languidly, our tongues make love to each other. Her body starts to rock against mine, and I don't suppress the moan that comes out of my throat. Her mouth leaves mine and sucks at the bottom of my throat. She bites it softly and laughs, and the warm air hits it, making me shiver. It's suddenly really really hot under the blankets. I realize the fireworks are still going.

"I plan on fucking you again," she tells me and her lips tug upward in a charming way. I laugh and then moan when I feel her fingers circle my entrance. "And again, and again, and again..." She whispers quietly, mouth against my cheek, left hand playing with my nipple, and her pace picking up.

The fireworks are still going.

"How is Kurt doing in the musical?"

"It's like he was born for this part, Quinn!" I say. I don't want to check the time. I don't want to have to leave her again and have to stay away for another 14 days. "He is brilliant. Him and Jesse work really well together."

"That's awesome." She takes the wine bottle, it's not cold anymore, but it's there, and this is starting to get hard all over again. She takes a swig and swallows it hard. "After Chicago, what happens?"

"Um, we probably tweak a few things, then we put on another workshop, for a small audience here. To get the feel of the things and stuff. Then, we open."

She looks at me from where she's picking up my bra and side-eyes me before throwing it at me playfully. It hits me smack in the middle of my face, and I hold it with both hands. "Put that on. If you don't - I'll... have a hard time..."

I sigh, drop my eyes and do as she asks. I get up on my knees then on my feet. I pick up my dress carefully and throw it over my head. I don't bother tying the fabric belt around my waist. I look at her and she looks so down. She looks up and I can see her struggle to keep her tears at bay. "Hey," I call her out softly. "No crying, okay? And you're still here and I'm still here." My hands are on my waist, gripping the white cloth, to give me the strength.

"I'm not crying," she says, all faux-confidence. "It's allergies." She lies and looks at me.

I'm standing in front of her, and I adjust her hair, while she ties the belt for me. She tilts her head toward my hand, "of course. My allergies are acting up too." I say, faking a sniffle. I don't have to fake the water pooling in my eyes though. "Um, okay, listen, next time we see each other we both be staying in New York, right? And you'll get tired of seeing me."

"I'm never tired of seeing you, you dork. You know that. You're my addiction; I need you all the time," Her eyes rake my face. In the proximity we find ourselves in, the darkness is no barrier. I can see her eyes travel from my hair down my forehead. She pecks it sweetly and pulls away, looking at my eyes, but not really into them, and then down my nose, my cheekbones. My lips - she lingers. I smile. She smiles. She looks into my eyes now and then, "fuck school, you know? Maybe I could just go to Chicago with you." She's saying the words, but I know she doesn't actually mean them. Well, she probably does want to come to Chicago, but she doesn't want to leave the summer program.

"I wish," I say. Then I look around me, a sudden thought invading my mind, "wait, how are you going to clean this up?"

She laughs, "ah, well, Mike offered to do it. I told him I wouldn't have minded but he said you and I had to enjoy our time with each other and not worrying about what will happen to all these pillows."

I unwrap her arms from around me and pick one up. My favorite one - it's red and it has stripes. "I'm taking this one with me."

She licks her lips and I mirror the action. She holds my face, "I have to take you to the airport. Your bags are ready, right?"

I feel my chest start to close in on itself, "Yeah - yea, it is."

Not caring about the rules anymore, she says, "two weeks away is not even that long," she sounds really unconvinced.

"This feels like the first time we said goodbye - thinking it wasn't going to be so long and then..." I trail off because I don't want to sound like I'm blaming her. "I'm sorry - I didn't mean it like that," I frown.

She uses the pad of her thumb to make the wrinkles between my eyes go away, "stop that. Don't worry, I know that's not how you meant it. But I promise this time it's only two weeks."

I gulp down the knot in my throat, this time I will not shed the tears, "Well, yeah, two weeks without you is a fucking lifetime."

I'm still blushing from how perfect the entire evening was. It was enchanting to see her and be in her arms again. It was sparkling and I'm never letting it go. I feel her hand tighten in mine, even though she's looking out the car's window. Her hand is on her mouth. I pull on her arm and she looks at me. We hug, my arms wrap around her shoulders, hers tangle behind the small of my back.

This time her head is buried in my shoulder. I move some hair out of the way so I can try to look her in the eyes, but she hides further. I inhale, exhale and hold her. It's like with every action, my heart is being shredded by the amount of love and pain this all encompasses. It's a beautiful torture.

"You know how enchanting this day was? It was... flawless. Wonderstruck." I ask her. She finally looks at me and grins, even though she looks like she wants to be crying. "Thank you so much. It goes down as one of the best days of my life."

"I love you," she says and kisses me again. This time it's just a touch of lips, just a light pressure. Then it grows needier and more passionate - the pushing increases from both sides. We only pull away when the taxi stops in front of the airport.

I insist in paying for the drive there and go ahead and leave him money to wait for Quinn and then take her to the train station. She makes her way around the car, grabs my bag, and waits for me. She grabs my hand. We walk through the doors, into the airport, through the large place, until we spot my friends near a Starbucks. They were waiting for me so we could go ahead and do the check-ins, get our baggage out, and then go to the gate.

Everyone is smiling. Jesse comes up to me and gets my bag. I go through my check-in in one of those new machines where you don't have to talk to someone. She's by my side while I do this.

While the rest of the company mingles and talks in excitement for the trip, I keep an eye on Quinn and she keeps an eye on me. Kurt and Jesse flake our sides, like they're our security guards or something.

It's time to go.

It's time to say bye again.

It shouldn't be time to say good bye so fucking soon.

"Love me?" She asks, while holding on to me tight.

I grab her hand and place over my heart, like I had that day at the park and I know she knows what I'm telling her without so many words - my heart comes alive when you're around. "So hard."

"Good. Because -" she takes my hand and places it on her heart - it's beating fast as well - 'I love you so hard, too,' it beats for me. "I'll see you later." She whispers, kisses my lips one last time, licks her own with her eyes closed, and smiles before turning around and leaving.

"Come in, Rach." Kurt grabs my hand, the one Quinn had been holding. It's a nice gesture but it feels wrong. I smile at him anyway because he truly is a good friend. "We have to start boarding soon." I snap out of the trance I found myself in, just staring at the way Quinn disappeared, and look at him.

"Chicago, here we come." I sing-song and smile faintly.


	32. Hold Me Tight (Evan Rachel Woods)

I can't bear to look at her right now. I'm so overwhelmed by the simple fact that even though I'm leaving New York, I have to watch her leave. It's weird for me. I hold her hand tighter in mine while I look out the window and watch as faceless bodies and nameless stores stay behind. I have to keep a hand over my mouth to be able to steady myself and not break down, again. She pulls on my arm, and I finally look at her because she wants me to. We share a minute looking at each other and then immediately hug.

I hide my face in her shoulder in a moment of weakness, and she tries to move some of my choppy hair away, but I just move further into her. I feel her breathe and she says, "You know how enchanting this day was? It was... flawless. Wonderstruck." I want to cry but her telling me this makes me smile. She finally looks at me and grins, even though she looks like she wants to be crying. "Thank you so much. It goes down as one of the best days of my life."

"I love you," I remind her. I'll tell her as many times as she needs me to say it and even when she doesn't need to. I touch my lips to hers - I'm right here; she's right here. Flashes of reminders that we'll be leaving again invade my mind and I push. She pushes right back. The pressure on our lips hurts a little bit, but it's growing more passionate by the minute. The car slows down and in the back of my mind I register this means time to go.

She pays, after insisting for a good minute. I get out of the car because I need the night air in my lungs to keep me standing. I take her hand as soon as she's in sight, and walk her into the airport. My hand tingles from how hard we're holding onto each other but it's okay. Jesse comes, gives us both a quick hug, and takes her bag from me.

He and the rest of the company, including Kurt, wait for us as she checks in. I stand next to her, because.

The others are excited. I can tell. Kurt is talking more than he's breathing but every so often he looks at us to check up on Rachel. I'm also making sure she's alright. She seems to be putting up a good front, but I can look through her and see how upset she is that we won't be together again for another two weeks. As we walk toward the security, Kurt and Jesse accompany us, as if them being there makes this easier. It does.

Somehow, I just feel it in the air when she has to go. I don't bother looking at the time, and no one else bothers telling us. We just feel it.

I pull her in, and ask, to calm my beating heart and give me the strength for two more weeks, "Love me?"

Just like that day in Central Park, she takes my hand and places it on her own. It's beating at five hundred miles a minute. "So hard." It's true, I feel it thudding against her chest, trying to break free.

My heart is doing the same; it's trying to leave my body so it can always be with her. It's physically agonizing and yet energizing. I put her hand on top of my left breast and I don't have to say anything - I can't say anything - else, for her to understand. When words seem to come back, I whisper, "I'll see you later," as I draw my face closer to hers. I keep my eyes open to memorize the contours of her face until the last moment when our lips barely touch. She kisses me harder, and when we pull away, I lick my lips. Her taste is right here. She tastes like strawberries and wine and a hint of chocolate.

I have to turn around on my heels and walk out because if I don't, I'll never leave her. I can't deal with the puppy eyes, and the pouty lips. They kill me every time. What have I gotten myself into, that as soon as I start to walk away, my feet demand me to turn around and run to her? Forget all that I am and am working for, just so I can live under her shadow forever if I had to? My hands miss the feel of her fingers holding tight, my shoulder miss the weight of her forehead when she hugs me, and my eyes miss the pull of her own. I'm not even ten feet away yet.

Without looking back, I pull out my phone and text her down the escalators.

Qtie: Hey, did you know that my life is so much better when you're around?

At the same time I'm writing her text, I get one.

Rach: you don't understand how hard it is to watch you walk away from me.

The last two weeks of the summer program go by so fast, it doesn't even feel like I left NY that night. There is no time to breathe or think or even think to breathe. Every waking hour of every day is filled with something to do, something to read, something to participate in. The instructors and guest lecturers seemed to have come back from their one day vacation meaner than they left. Maybe it's the pressure of the program getting to them too. It doesn't matter. What matters is that I managed to keep my grades up for the entirety of the program and the credit is transferable. It also helped me decide that I'm so very interested in Media Anthropology, an area I didn't even know existed until a little earlier this summer. I found out that with Media Anthro I can combine two of my areas of passion - Anthropology and the performing arts - into one.

On the train trip back to NY, I picked classes that fit that plan with Gaea's help. Also on the trip back, I got multiple calls from Rachel to make sure she was at the right place.

In every call I reassured her that I would be there at the planned time and that she was indeed at the correct location. Apparently Santana got back earlier this week and already moved into her dorm room. Because she's only now a sophomore she can't live at the Cheerleading house yet, but by next year she'll have her own room. She's always at Britt's anyway, so it doesn't matter much.

I can't wait to see my room, and I can't wait to see my room with my girlfriend. I'll be seeing her again in twenty minutes. Chicago was great, according to her. The experience was unbelievable and the company grew even closer together. She said that the sex scene between her and Jesse went over exceptionally well, and I managed to not bite my tongue off as she described it in detail. I'm not jealous of Jesse per se, just the idea of her pretending to be getting off in front of other people. I understand it's acting, but it's still a weird concept.

While she was in Chicago, it was easier for her to call me. They had rehearsals every day, yes, but they only had three performances. One Saturday night, and two on Sunday - matinee and evening. For the rest of the time, the company got to hang around and explore, and she got to call me. Even though I had no free time, she would leave me long voicemails - multiple voicemails - telling me what she did that day. Once I got back to room (super late each night), I'd call her back and she would pick up, groggy and tired. It wasn't much, it wasn't perfect, but it managed to get us through.

Ten minutes and I'll be in her arms.

I look over at Gaea and she's entertaining herself with a Cosmo magazine.

"What is that telling you about your sex life?" I ask with a grin and a point at the glossy pages in her hands.

"Ah," she closes the magazine around an index finger and raises it, "that it's dry and boring and I need to spice it up in the bedroom. Henry will sure like this article I'm reading about pleasing your man." she rolls her eyes and I laugh at her.

Ten minutes later, the train is slowing down and I'm apprehensive about getting out and seeing Rachel. I look outside my window and there she is, in jeans and a t-shirt, with a black baseball cap on, waiting for me. I smile.

As soon as the train stops and the doors open, I'm out of the door, Gaea following me.

I don't run (because of my two sufficiently big bags) toward her, but I walk fast, and she dodges all the other people in between us to meet me halfway. I pull her into a hug as soon as she's standing in front of me, dropping my bags to the floor unceremoniously. "Hello!" She exclaims.

Gaea catches up and says, "hey, Rach, how are you?"

"Pretty good," Rachel tells her in the sweetest tone of voice I've ever heard her use with Gaea. "How are you? How was the trip? How was the program? Did you guys like it?" She bombards us both with questions, super excited, it seems, to hear about all that went down.

"It was great fun, and the trip back was smooth." Gaea looks at us and I can tell she knows we want to be alone. "Well, anyway, I'm going to go. I have a sex life to spice up." She hugs Rachel, before she has the chance to move away, and then hugs me and leaves, dragging her suitcases behind her.

Rachel glances in the direction Gaea went once and then looks at me as if I just got there. "Hi," she smiles and hugs me. We inhale at the same time and I find my hands pressing into her back harder. "Welcome back," she says when we pull away and kisses my lips sweetly. "I missed you."

"Same here. I loved the summer program but I'm so glad to be back." I grab my bags from the floor and Rachel takes one, so we each have a free hand to hold hands. "Are you coming with me to the house?"

"Yes, I'm free for the rest of the day. I've got lots of time," she says and winks at me.

I laugh, stop to find my glasses in my purse and put them on just as we walk out of the station. "That makes me very happy. We can watch a movie on my laptop and cuddle."

She groans playfully and motions for a cab, "yes, because all I want to do is cuddle. You know how worked up I get with the musical."

I giggle and kiss her neck as we wait for the car to stop. "I'm kidding. I've been dying."

Rachel tells the cab the adress to my new house and then leans back into my waiting arms. She feels so right pressed against my side. I kiss her forehead and linger, tightening myself around her. She purs softly and I want to just stay like this to make up for all the days we missed without each other.

We get to campus forty five minutes later, thanks to traffic today. It's awful. I have a slight headache and I'm almost one hundred percent sure Rachel ended up taking a nap. The rest of the drive had been awfully quiet.

She rubs her eyes and helps me take my bags again, and slips her hand into mine. She takes control and walks us to the front door, opening it as if she was the one who would be living here now. Apparently, she had already been here three times since Santana came back and my cheerleaders and Rachel had been getting along well ever since my birthday party. Whatever the issues the Cheerleader/Jocks and Arts kids had in the beginning of last year seemed to work itself out with our help and our friends. I remember Sam saying I had to do something about it and unknowingly, we did.

I grin when I hear Santana shouting, "Is that Q?" She shows up at the top of the stairs, long and winding and white, "get up here, boss! The girls and I missed you." Santana disappears down the hallway and Rachel smiles.

"Did your best friend slash my frienemy," Rachel slaps me lightly on the arm, "okay, just kidding about the best friend thing," another slap and a giggle, "really just say she missed me? And called me boss? And why did she seem so excited to see me? This is odd."

"Just shut up and come upstairs." I let Rachel guide me directly upstairs, skipping a formal tour of the house (since I've been here before and apparently so has Rachel). She looks back to make sure I'm following her, even though we're holding hands, at least three times. The corridor upstairs is long, with doors on either side. There are five bedroom upstairs, with two beds in each one, and two bathrooms detached of a bedroom. My room is at the end, with its own bathroom.

Rachel snickes when we get closer. "What did you do, huh, Rach?" I whisper in her ear right as she opens the door and all my cheerleaders, plus Britt and Kurt and Mike, are yelling and screaming and throwing confeetti in the air.

"Welcome home!"

There is a large banner above my bed, reading: 'Happy Move-In Day!' in Rachel's artistic (messy) handwriting, and balloons all over.

I start laughing, doubling over, and look at Rachel, "was this really necessary?"

"What? I thought it'd be a fun surprise to have you come home to. It's like a Housewarming party. We're going to take this party downstairs!" With that she looks around the room and everyone stars filing out, most of them stopping by to hug me.

"About time you got back. I was already looking into surgeries to replace my eardrums with the constant talking and complaining by Rach over you being gone so long," Santana barks on her way past me.

I raise my eyebrows, "hey, you were just being nice to me earlier - what happened?" I punch her on the shoulder.

"We needed a good bait to get you up here."

"As if Rachel taking me up to my room wasn't good enough. You just ruined my plans," I say and receive a harder punch back.

"That's it. I know to never visit you here. Ever." She looks at Rachel, "Midge, I'll get the party started downstairs; you get it started up here." With a nod and wink, she leaves, closing the door on the way. My cheeks burn.

I turn to look at Rachel and she laughs, "It's 5PM on a Tuesday, isn't it a strange time for a party?" I'm already wrapping my arms around her waist, up her back, and around her shoulders. She looks at me with lust in her eyes and licks her lips while staring at mine.

"It's always time to party-" She says and crashes our lips together. She starts walking backwards, and we fall onto the Queen size bed, still made with the generic white covers they keep on it while the house isn't in use. "And I missed you and wanted you to feel welcomed and have fun before cheer camp starts."

I hover over her and she uses the tips of her fingers to contour my face. She smiles, and I have to keep myself in check not to attack her, even though I could if I wanted to because she's mine and we're finally together again. She moves the bangs out of my eyes and threads her fingers into my hair, pulling me down for a kiss.

"You're always thoughtful." I say.

"I already got something planned for us to do tomorrow too, before Thursday." Cheer Camp starts Thursday in full force and I nod because a date with her is all I need right now. "I think you'll like it. We'll go after rehearsals."

I travel my lips down her neck, and she arches her back off the bed and toward me. We forget the conversation quickly, her breath shortening and our desires growing mutually. My hands find way under her shirt and she rakes her nails down my neck. I shiver and moan and drag my wet lips across her collarbone and up the other side of her neck.

"Shit, baby," she murmurs. I smile against her tasty tan skin and lick it before finding her mouth again. Out of nowhere, she starts to giggle as my hands find her bra and I start to work my thumbs over her nipples.

The giggling doesn't stop though. I know we haven't had sex since that night at the rooftop and even longer before then but why won't she stop? "What?" I ask and pull away from the proximity to look her in the eyes.

"We're that couple," she says as means of explanation. I tilt my head and arch an eyebrow trying to understand. She bites her lip trying to contain the laughter and I find mine own twitching and throbbing to kiss hers. I dip into her and kiss her again. She moans and kisses me back, hands on my face, to keep me there. "We're," she starts to say with ragged breaths and heaved sighs. "We're that couple in the teen movies who has sex while their friends party."

I have to chuckle along, still focused on making her make more of those noises. They make me bold and keep me going and make me wetter. "They fucking know we're fucking too."

A moan is replaced by loud laughter as my hand tickler her ribs. I undo her bra and she pulls away shirt and bra at the same time. My mouth finds her nipple and she grips onto my hair. I twirl the bud with my tongue and bite it softly, making her squirm. We both start working on taking her jeans off. I manage to pull it off and she takes advantage to get on top of me. I pull my dress up and off, toss it aside, and she takes off my bra hungrily.

"Well, like I always say..." she places kisses on my breasts, here and there, and then latches on my right nipple, sucking lightly. "Carpe Diem," she mumbles and I feel it resonate all over my body. She sits up and pulls me along, and my legs wrap around her body. She keeps a strong arm around my bare back. She's kissing my left nipple and my back is arching into her, begging for more of her tongue and of her everything.

"You never say 'Carpe Diem,'" I manage to say when words come back to me. My breathing is irregular and my entire skin surface is burning. Every touch of hers is like setting my skin on fire.

"I could start," she teases with a smile, looking up at me. She licks the valley of my breasts and then kisses my mouth again.

I ask, "well, what is carpe diem telling you to do now?"

Her response is immediate, "shut up and love you." And then she throws me back and makes her way down my body.

"Hey, Q! You look good!" One of my cheerleaders shouts at me as I make my way down the stairs, behind a very proud and smug looking Rachel. My cheeks are definitely tinting, and my ears are burning. When we were in the middle of doing it, I didn't care that these people sort of knew, but now that they're sure and we're coming downstairs, I'm definitely embarrassed.

"Thanks, Emma," I say and smile.

"Q! Welcome back. How was your summer?" Mandy asks.

"Pretty good, yours?"

Rachel is handing me a bottle of beer, and I take it. She excuses herself and goes find Kurt.

"It was great. I went to the Alps."

My eyes follow Rachel as she looks for Kurt and I block every word Mandy is saying, but not on purpose. She snaps her fingers in front of my face, successfully bringing me back to earth, and I blush as I apologize, "I'm sorry, I-"

"Look, it's okay," she giggles, "You're really in love with her, huh?"

I take a deep breath and notice my hands are shaking for the first time around the neck of the bottle, "yeah." I exhale slowly. I think I just realized just how much of myself belongs to Rachel, no matter if I want it to or not. And yes, I've known for a long time now that I love her and that I am in love with her, but it just hit me how much I want her and need her and how I don't think I could handle if something happened to us. It's scary. It's a little bit needy of me, but it's true. I glance at Mandy again, and apologize once more, "I'm sorry, I'm going out for some air."

She smiles and squeezes my arm. I make my way outside, toward the back of the house, and hope that no one saw me as I left. Rachel, of course, did, so she follows me and sits next to me on the grass. We're sitting under a large trunk, with no foliage, and I stare right at the white house. I can see people dancing inside. Rachel scoots closer and touches my shoulder with her chin carefully. I barely turn my head, and then wrap my arm around her. "What are you doing out here?"

I sigh, "thinking."

"About?"

I smile, "you."

She smiles too, "me?"

"Yeah," I purse my lips and narrow my eyes at the distance. "I was just thinking about how I'm pretty helpless when it comes to you."

She chuckles, "and you needed some air when you came to that conclusion?"

"Babe," I say and kiss her forehead, "I've always been the independent HBIC, and like you've heard before, I never let my boyfriends in too close. The first person I really opened up to was that girl I liked in high school and she completely broke my heart. I don't know - with you it just happened so fast and so easy and so... I love you so much that sometimes I don't remember how I used to be without you."

She shifts so that I'm the one in her arms, and I land my head on her shoulder, under her chin. She keeps me tight and close, "I feel the exact same way. Before you got back Santana was telling me how much I've changed. And it's all because of how much I love you."

"You really do, huh?" I ask.

"I really, really do." She says. She looks so satisfied and proud at the moment. Her facial expressions relax, and she has a lazy smile on her lips.

"I love you, too."

"I know," she looks down at me and there is a glint in her eyes. She looks happy and I'm happy. I'm so glad I'm back.

"Do you want to sleepover?" I ask. "I know you have rehearsals but I'd really like waking up to you."

"I can," she nods, "I can definitely sleep over."

I turn in bed. I feel around for any signs of Rachel but she's definitely already up. It still feels warm so she must have waken up not too long ago. I open my eyes and she's walking around the room, looking slightly terrified. She walks around the bed to the other side, in front of the empty desk - with the exception of my laptop - and opens her bag, looking for something.

"Good morning," I say and clearly startle her. She jumps and then turns to face me.

"Morning," she rushes out. She walks over to me, bends down, kisses my lips quickly, and then goes back to the bag.

"Looking for something?"

She starts taking things out of her bag: sunglasses, papers and more papers, folded papers, her wallet, crumpled papers, "I swear it was right here and now I don't know where I put it. Yesterday I had it with me while waiting for you. Then I put it in here before your train got in. I brought you home, we surprised you," she keeps telling herself her day but still won't tell me what she's looking for.

I unroll out of bed in my light blue sleeping shorts and no shirt, and walk to the bathroom. The only things in here are two towels that we used to shower last night and our toothbrushes. I throw some water on my face and brush my teeth. I pull my hair back into a short ponytail with wet hands and then walk back out. "What are you looking for, sweetie? I can help you." I wrap my arms around her body to see if it'll calm her down. She relaxes in my embrace. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Her hands are folded on top of the bag, and my laptop is closed next to it. I don't even remember putting it there; she must've shut it when I fell asleep in the middle of the movie we were watching.

"I had my script with all the changes we made after Chicago. I don't know where I put it."

"Okay," I say, controlled. "You say you had it with you before picking me up?" I turn her around and back her into the desk. I lift her up by her thighs and sit her on top of her bag. She laughs and moves it from under her.

"Yes," her arms go up to my neck and she interlocks her fingers behind it. "I had it before your train got there, and then I put it in my bag."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," she says, almost upset that I'm asking her if she's certain.

"And then what?"

She looks around the room. "Then I brought you up here where we had the surprise. Then you and I made love," she says softly and kisses my lips just the same - a fleeting touch of lips. "Then we went downstairs and outside. After that... we had pizza delivered, we ate, and I came upstairs to brush my teeth."

I was there for all of this but talking about it helps remember, so I nod along. "What about after everyone left?"

She's pensive. Her head turns sideways, "Oh! That's right! I moved it so I wouldn't forget it. It's with my laptop downstairs." Palm to the forehead, she starts laughing and then looks at me with mild embarrassment stamped on her features. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize," I reassure her and kiss her cheek. I move away from her and walk over to my bags for clothes. "What time do you think I could come over to the theater to pick you up so we can go on our date?"

"Around four is fine."

"I'll be there," I tell her. I fish out some shorts and a blouse. "I think my mom is sending me the boxes with all my stuff today, so it should get here soon."

"When it does, I'll help you fix this place up."

"That's why I keep you around." I tell her as a joke. She narrows her eyes at me in faux annoyance, and I laugh. "Kidding. It's also for the awesome sex." She throws a ball of paper at me, but it misses by a lot.

I pick her up at the theater at 4 o'clock on the dot but apparently their rehearsal ended early. We take the subway back to her place and she tells me to wait in the living room while she showers. Any other day, I would've invited myself to come along but Mike is in the kitchen, cooking.

I strike up conversation, "Mike, you're always cooking."

He laughs and looks into the pot he's stirring. Whatever it is, it smells delicious. I'm sure Rachel is being well fed because Mike is a generous guy and he probably cooks for the both of them every day. "I learned it from my grandma. Reminds me of home," he winks at me and goes back to stirring.

"How come you never cooked for me back in Ohio?" I ask, crossing my arms and looking around the living room. I've been here before (last time was Fourth of July) but I had never stopped to look. And there are definitely signs of a girl, more specifically Rachel, living here now. On top of the couch, there is now a green blanket where there had been none before. A box of DVDs still sits by the TV unit. I peek inside and notice they're all Musicals or classics. Typical. The ottoman/coffee table they have is now piled with Playbills and magazines with her favorite actresses on the cover. On the unit itself, pictures, consoles and videogames, the TV, and other random things.

Among the pictures, there is a framed picture of Rachel and Santana, cheek to cheek in front of Times Square. On another frame, her sitting on my lap in one of our outings with our friends. There are pictures of Tina and Mike, and also of Rachel and Kurt. Mike and Sam - I didn't even know they were close friends.

While I'm taking in the apartment with the slight changes, he says, "I don't know," and shrugs. "Nothing personal." With a grin, he turns to the refrigerator, opens it and finds a package. Something wrapped in brown paper. I look back to the pictures while he opens that. There is a picture of me, Britt, and Mike from when we got together over the summer. I'm surprised. I glance at him and the thing inside the brown paper had been a chunk of meat.

On the South wall, the one adjacent to the wall with he window, Rachel added a poster of Les Mis - which is a badass musical, and not girly and happy. I'm sure Mike wouldn't have minded anyway.

"Well, I've had your food here. You're so damn good."

"Thanks, Q." He does a double take, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Yeah, sure," I say and hurry to sit on one of the kitchen stools.

He chuckles lightly and spins on the balls of his foot, toward me. He picks up the salt and pepper shakers from the counter and turns back around. "I've been thinking about starting culinary school. You know, I love dancing, and I'll always be a dancer, but I want to make cooking my profession."

"That's exciting!" I make sure to nod and he shrugs again.

"Do you think I'd be good at it?" He doesn't stop seasoning. He rubs the meat and then places it inside another pan with hot oil inside. "To sear," he explains.

I don't even understand why he asks, "I think you'll be fucking amazing."

"Tina said the same. I looked into the possibilty of going to CIA. If I manage to get the scholarship I applied for, I'll be there."

"You'll get it," I say without an ounce of doubt. "I'm sure the Dance department and Britt will miss you but if it's what you want-"

"It's definitely what I want." We exchange smiles.

I say, "well, I'm going to check on what's taking Rachel so long." I head down the hallway toward her room and i knock softly on her door. She tells me to come in and I olen the door slowly. Her glistening naked body is the first thing I see, and I can't help but smile, but I just go ahead and sit on her bed, leaning on my hands behind me. The blue pillow with stripes is here.

"Hi, checking up on me?" She asks and turns toward the mirror, moving some hair aside. Then she grabs her underwear and pulls up her panties slowly. I watch because I'm a sucker for her like this. She giggles and then walks over to me, holding a black bra. "Can you?" She kisses me on the cheek and then turns her back toward me. I fasten her bra and run my hands down her sexy back. She finds a red dress in her closet and turns it to me, "do you like this?" She holds it in front of her body, right under her neck, and pulls on one side, to wrap around her body. It's fucking hot, hugging her in all the right places, sleeveless, stopping mid-thigh.

"Hell yeah. Why didn't you tell me I needed to wear something nice?" I look down at my black jeans and grey V-neck.

"Because you look nice," she counters.

"I'm in jeans and a tshirt."

"Still look hot," she counters. "Anyway, I'm not wearing this tonight." She puts it back in the closet and grabs a shirt with our school logo on it and her favorite jeans. "That's for that Gala for Spring Awakening I was telling you about at the end of August."

"Ah," I exhale in relief, "you're going to look beautiful."

"You have to come with me - it's my first of many serious events in the Musical Theatre business and I want you there with me." She sits next to me on her bed and takes my hand.

"I'll be there," I smile and wrinkle my nose at her. She kisses the tip of my nose and goes to get up but I pull her right back, and she lands on my lap. "You know what's also in August?" I narrow my eyes as a threat, but she just laughs and kisses me.

"Of course I do, silly." She tries to get up to finish getting ready but I still don't let her.

"What is it then?"

She places each palm on one side of my face and then squishes it, "it's our six months anniversary." She nuzzles my face, then my nose, and then makes me look at her in the eyes, "Satisfied?"

I nod. She gets up with one last kiss to my forehead, and finishes getting ready while I watch. How I missed this.

"Have you thought of anything you want to do to celebrate?"

She is looking at herself in the mirror. I appreciate her form from where I'm sitting and watch as she runs a hand through her wet hair. "I've been thinking of a few things we could do, but none of it stands out."

"You and I should go camping," I throw it out there, hoping she'll say yes.

"For our six months?" She doesn't seem convinced yet.

"Yeah, it could be fun. Think about it - just you, me and a tent. The stars, the fire, it'd be cozy."

She looks at me through the mirror and says, "but the bugs, and the snakes, and the lack of clean water, and good food..."

I stand and kiss her on the neck, "just think about it."

We eat at the Bistro with the soups we both love, but we get sandwiches instead, because it's too hot for soup. From there we go to the Comic Strip Club, where Rachel scored us both tickets to watch a live performance. It's great fun and I end up laughing so hard my stomach hurts. It's a nice way to relax with her before Cheer Camp starts and I'm all stressed all the time.

When we're walking back, she says, "I'm just glad rehearsals have eased a bit more now that you're back. It would've sucked if we were both in NY but couldn't spend time together between my rehearsals and your cheer camp."

"You're right. Cheer camp isn't that long every day - it's just stressful and tiring. I get moody because I'm constantly worn out - fair warning by the way." I joke but not really. Sylvester starts camp at 9 each morning (except for Sundays) and only ends at three in the afternoon. Some people might say it's long but I'm just glad it isn't longer. I don't think it would be even legal to be any longer than that because then it could probably be considered child cruelty and abuse or something. By the end of each day, every muscle and bone and hair of my body hurts and I need an ice bath to be ready for the next day. No matter how many times I've been through Coach's drills and routines, it always hurts; my body will never get used to it. "Please don't have me and leave me if I get cranky."

She giggles and says, "I won't but hey."

"Yeah?"

"I'm still having rehearsals. They'll also be stressful sometimes, so you can't leave either." She narrows her eyes at me in mock seriousness. It's just adorable how they are brimming with playfulness.

"I won't."

"Wanna race me to that coffee place in the corner?" She asks. I look around. The street is empty enough but there are still people around. "Loser buys!"

Before I have a chance to really respond yes or no, she's taking off. A few people stop walking to let the maniac through, and I literally stand and watch her run until she realizes I'm not behind her. She stops halfway there and throws her hands up in the air, "Come on, Quinn! Give me a challenge, you slow poke!" I gasp and try to hide my embarrassment by covering my face. My cheeks are warm to the touch and when I remove my hands, she's still on the same spot, waiting for me. She's standing right under one of the few streetlights on this street, with a hand on her hip. "Come on! I ain't got all the time in the world."

With one last look at the other people around, I decide to ignore them and just go for it. I run to her so fast that I catch up and pass her.

When I come to a halt in front of the coffee place, I turn to face her - stopped in shock in place - and she looks stunned and stunning - red cheeks, parted lips gasping for more and more air, hands on knees, - to me. I laugh. "I'm such a fast runner. Must be my many years and experience as a cheerleader-slash-athlete-slash-AWESOME!" Finally, she starts walking toward me, so I decide to meet her halfway. She stops a few feet away, but I get right in her face with two steps closer and make funny expressions, "la la la la la. That's what you get for teasing!" I grab her, before she can get away, and start tickling her. "Who's a slow poke now? Who's a slow poke?"

"I am! I'm sorry!" She bursts out laughing and giggling. I feel her entire body shake against me, in complete joy. It makes me really happy. I rake my eyes all over her face and just take her in as much as I can. Her eyes shine and her dimple is so adorable. I place my thumb right above it and smile and she echos it. She whispers, "I'm the loser. But I'll gladly lose everything to you."

I step even closer, if it's possible and wrap an arm around her waist, and speak lowly, "what else have you lost to me?" My eyes have focused on her lips because they look so juicy and when she speaks they do wonders to me.

Her voice continues in the same tone, and my lips burn because I know she's staring at them too, "like any go-kart races, and races at the beach, and races in the middle of the street - anything."

"Ah. Well, I've lost something to you, too." I tell her and inch my face closer, deliberately slow. I flicker my eyes up to hers quickly and see them flutter.

"Yeah? What?" She does the same, and I feel the warm air of her breath ghosting over my lips. She closes her eyes, her chest is moving up and down with such -purpose.

If possible, my voice comes out even lower and softer, "a vital organ -" is all I say before crashing our lips together. She immediately moans and wraps her two hands around my beck, pulling me in, pulling me closer. I take her bottom lip between my teeth lightly and then suck on it. Tingling, my lips call for more the more they touch hers. "My heart," I croack out, when air makes it to my brain and I can think again. Because somehow, kissing her always renders me breathless. "You won my heart, duh, baby." And I kiss her again just because I can.


	33. All Star (Smash Mouth)

We're on our way back home from the comedy club and so I say, because it's been on my mind, "I'm just glad rehearsals have eased a bit more now that you're back. It would've sucked if we were both in NY but couldn't spend time together between my rehearsals and your cheer camp."

"You're right. Cheer camp isn't that long every day - it's just stressful and tiring. I get moody because I'm constantly worn out - fair warning by the way. Please don't hate me and leave me if I get cranky." I know she's trying to warn me through humor but I've dealt with Quinn under stress before - she lashes out but she's all bark and no bite. It doesn't scare me at all but I go along with the joke.

I tell her, "I won't but hey."

"Yeah?"

"I'm still having rehearsals. They'll also be stressful sometimes, so you can't leave either." I narrow my eyes and try my best at looking menacing. She seems like she's going to burst out laughing at me.

"I won't," she promises and I can tell she intends to keep it. The air gets kind of serious around us for that moment, so I decide we need a little game. We're both competitive people so the first thing I think of is a race.

"Wanna race me to that coffee place in the corner?" I know that if I want to win, I also have to give Quinn the opportunity to be embarrassed which is why this street is perfect. There are enough people walking someplace to do just that. "Loser buys!"

I don't even give her a chance to argue it because if I allow her that window, she will argue. I just turn and take off. I'm hoping me running away will be enough of a reason for her to play with me. It's only when I'm halfway to the coffee place that I look behind me to check, and find out she's been standing on the same spot I left her behind. I raise my hands up in the air and call out to her, further embarrassing her, "Come on, Quinn! Give me a challenge, you slow poke!" I know this is the only way she'll run - by poking at her pride. By the way her mouth hangs open I know she gasped. Her hands go to her face, like always when she's embarrassed - good or bad - and I laugh. She has to remove her hands, because I can't do it from so far away but when she does get there, I push even more. "Come on! I ain't got all the time in the world."

Next thing I know, she's flying past me. I was hoping she'd run but not so fast that it'd freeze me to the spot. I try to catch up - eventually - but it doesn't help. She stops in front of the coffee place triumphantly while I'm loudly gasping for air, with my hands on my knees. Sure, I've had demanding rehearsals for my play, but they didn't prepare me for running against my crazy athletic of a girlfriend. She laughs at me and says, "I'm such a fast runner. Must be my many years and experience as a cheerleader-slash-athlete-slash-AWESOME!" We start walking toward each other, but I stop a few feet away from her still. I love doing this sometimes because I know she'll always come the rest of the way. She can't resist the need to be closer and to touch, and frankly, I love her more for it. She leaves almost no breathing room and starts making silly faces, "la la la la la. That's what you get for teasing!" I'm not expecting it when she pulls me and starts tickling me, "Who's a slow poke now? Who's a slow poke?"

I can't stop laughing but I can't get away from her either. Her hand has a firm grip on my upper arm and it is really sort of hot. "I am! I'm sorry!" I'm very happy and I don't see a reason to keep that to myself. I admire the way her eyes pour adoration over my face and it sends goosebumps down my spine. When we're calming down, I whisper, "I'm the loser. But I'll gladly lose everything to you."

Somehow, she manages to step even closer - not that I'm complaining. She envelops my waist with an arm and speaks slowly, her voice dripping in a husky honey tone, "what else have you lost to me?" She's looking at my lips and I'm trying not to melt to a heap at her feet because, damn it she's so sexy like this. I can see that she wants to kiss me, that she looks thirsty for my taste, and hell, I feel the same about her. My eyes focus on her pink lips; Desire shoots straight down between my legs with just the way she looks at me, captivating my very soul.

I continue to whisper in the same tone of voice as before and hope she can't tell how dry my throat got, "like any go-kart races, and races at the beach, and races in the middle of the street - anything."

"Ah. Well, I've lost something to you, too." I blink rapidly as her face comes closer, already feeling her lips on mine; her breath over my cheeks. She comes slowly, and it's so slow that it is physically killing me - the expectation, the need to feel. I've felt it so many times before but I can't help it that I'm obssessed with the feel of her tongue against mine and her lips pushing into mine. My gaze doesn't break away from her lips but I feel her eyes flickering to mine quickly.

I come closer, and take the bait, "Yeah? What?" I know what I want - a hit of my addiction. My chest pants, and her arms around me tighten.

She says, voice even lower, "a vital organ -" and it's all she says before I can help myself and kiss her. Or maybe she kisses me; I can't tell, but it doesn't matter. I moan and wrap my hands around her neck to keep her here. She bites my bottom lip slightly and sucks it. Fuck. She knows that sends me spinning. "My heart," she says, after we've been kissing for a while. My brain starts to register that we're around people, kissing in public, but my heart doesn't seem to care; not after she's said something like that. "You won my heart, duh, baby." We kiss again, and thank God we do because I want to feel her words. And I do - the words and the kiss hit me with such impact, I start to tear up without even noticing.

Truly I only do when we pull away a little to look each other in the eye and she let's out a small noise and dries the tear rolling down my cheek, "I love you," I tell her, "so much."

"I know, baby, and I love you."

I pull her in by the neck again and when we pull away this time, I suggest we go inside so I can buy her the coffee she won by beating me. She laughs and in my ear suggests we skip coffee for the night and go to bed instead.

"Babe, have you seen my red bra?" I ask Quinn as I walk into the kitchen; that's where she said she'd be. No one here. "Babe?" I try again. Silence. All the other girls are either out partying or in their rooms, getting much needed rest after the intense week training. Where is Quinn? I've been packing like crazy all night and she's not in her room or in the kitchen. This fucking house is too big for me to search for her and my head is killing me. Instead, I walk back to her room and shut the door. Maybe my bra went off with the laundry for the week.

I drop in bed and run my fingers through my hair.

The door opens quietly, but it creaks. She's home. I turn to my back and open my eyes just in time to see her hazel eyes smiling back at me, "done?" She asks and pecks me. Her hand is right by my head, keeping her above me. I don't know how many times I've had her like this, but her arms still look so sexy. I'm so happy for cheerleading.

"Almost. I can't find my red bra and I was hoping you knew where it went but... You weren't in the kitchen." I say suspiciously.

"Trust me - you will not need that bra." She laughs and kisses me again.

She hums and licks her lips. My headache is slowly fading away. I snake my left hand up and pull on her arm, efficiently making her drop all of her weight on top of me. She hits her head on my forehead with the fall and we both yelp at the same time then start laughing. "Is that your punishment for my not being in the kitchen?" She rubs the spot to assuage the pain.

I giggle and open my legs, and she takes the hint, settling between them. I wrap my legs around her back and wrap my arms around her shoulders, hugging her. "Maybe."

"What if I tell you I went out to pick up you anniversary gift?"

I gasp. I had not considered that possibility. "Really, and what did you get me?" Her ear is right by my mouth. I nibble on it.

"Can't tell, baby, you know that. You made that rule."

I groan, "fine. Will I like it?"

"You'll love it."

"I think you'll like yours, too."

Tomorrow is the official date of our sixth month anniversary, and I agreed in letting her take me camping. I've neer been big on the whole camping experience, but she seemed really excited, and it could be fun. I mean, an entire weekend with only her and nature? What's not to love, right?

Mosquitos. That's what not to like. Fucking mosquitoes. Everywhere. "Aren't you glad I love you? Otherwise you'd be spending our anniversary alone." I spray more repelent on my arms and legs (because I wore shorts!) and cuss some more because I swear this damn thing attracts more mosquitoes. I bet it's a strategy - put some sugar in there to attract the mosquitoes, so the customer will use more of their spray, leading them to buy more repelant.

Quinn, apparently, is not human though because all mosquitoes only seem to be on me. She looks unfazed by their presence. She looks around at the clearing we're supposed to be staying, and then drops our tent. "This seems like a good spot for our tent, dontcha think, Rach?" She completely ignores my huffing and looks around.

"Sure," I reply non-committedly.

She sighs and finally gives in, "why are you being so annoying?"

"I am not!" I pout and cross my arms.

She just looks at me and drops the bag that was occupying the other shoulder. "Yes, you are." She comes closer to me and places a hand on each one of my shoulders, "Will you please," she starts, staring deep into my eyes, "please, just - try to have a good time with me, huh?"

Oh damn, I have been kind of annoying about it all, haven't I? I didn't even give it a chance that it could possibly be good. I shake my head, ignoring the nagging thought at the back of my head saying this is camping, and smile up at her. "Okay. I'm sorry. Okay, let's do this!"

We (by we, I mean her, because after five minutes of trying to help she told me to just stop) set up the tent and then take our stuff in. Her back hurts, I think, because she keeps rubbing at it. I come up behind her and move her hands to massage it myself. She hums approvingly and just lets her entire body fall back into me; my arms wrap around her and my hands interlock in front of her stomach.

"What did you want to do first?" I ask.

"Well, duh, that's easy - the beach!"

We change into our swimsuits quickly in the cramped tent, stealing glances and grabs and laughing really loudly. Then, we run down toward the beach, scaring other campers with our squeals and loud laughter, I'm sure.

Quinn picks me up with one arm right as we make it into the water, and then we drop together. This reminds me of the day we all went to Fire Island with Britt and Santana and I miss them for that second. My thoughts are interrupted by Quinn splashing water at me and I try to splash her back but she holds my wrists and next thing I know, I'm underwater again.

"No - no fair!" I manage to grumble when I come up for air. "You're taller than me, you have an advantage."

"Oh, come on! I'm not that taller than you... Midge!" She plays and narrows her eyes.

"That's a nickname reserved only for Santana! She'll kill you if she finds out you used it," I try but she only laughs louder.

We end up on our backs, floating. But then I start freaking out that we might drift way too far from shore and already visualize my life as a castaway on an island with only a volleyball, so I stop and make Quinn stop too. By splashing some water on her.

She's starting to get that red tint more pronounced over her cheeks and across her nose from the sun, and I just love it. After we're done floating, I pick her up in my arms (for once, thank you, buoyancy!) and we kiss.

We race back toward our tent, and I win. I think Quinn lets me, but I don't bring it up and gloat anyway, like she expects me too. I know she probably thinks she gave it to me and I didn't know, but I do. The showers are not distant from where we're camping, so we do that next.

I try to sneak into the shower she's using but a family of four is also using the shower cabin and I'm not sure in which stall she got in. I laugh to myself thinking about how awkward that'd be, walking into one of their showers.

When I come out, she's already waiting for me, with damp blonde hair sticking to her face. She looks distracted by something on her shirt and I giggle, which alerts her to my presence. She turns her head up and smiles at me, "Ready?"

"Yes," I grab her hand and we walk to camp together.

"Are you tired?" I hadn't realized that yet but when she asks I yawn.

"No," I lie with a smile.

"You're funny, babe. Let's nap," she suggests. I don't want to nap. I didn't come all the way out here to nap. Plus it's too hot to stay in the tent napping in the middle of the day. Then she goes into the tent and comes out with a freaking hammock.

"Okay, how the hell did you get that in there without me noticing?" I point at the object, surprised but excited. It's definitely big enough for some cuddling.

"You were too worried about mosquitoes," she says. We laugh and set up the hammock on two trees with a view of the beach, behind our tent. "Go on, lay down."

I do as told and we giggle because the hammock keeps swinging when Quinn tries to get on too. She ends up all over me. Her elbows are poking into my sides and I try to move them off but end up making it worse, "ugh, you're so lucky I love you. Could you hurry up and get settled, please? Your bony elbows are hurting me."

"What? I do not have bony elbows!" She shrieks in my ear, and I can almost taste the way she smiles. It's delicious. Finally, she manages to lie back and I pull her into me. She curls up into my right side and I plant a kiss on her blonde mane.

Silence falls over us and we enjoy being with each other despite knowing we'll be back to our hectic lives on Monday. "Babe?" I say after a while.

She sounds like she's already falling asleep, "hmm?"

"Do you ever think about... Kids?" Woah. I didn't even know myself that I was going to ask her that, but now that it's out there, I want to know what she thinks. I mean, I know she wants four kids - two boys and two girls. I love kids too, but I want to have my career solid before going there. What I'm really asking her is if she wants kids with me and wait until I'm ready. So many is implied in my question.

I feel her tense a little before relaxing her shoulders and letting out a chuckle, "I was thinking about kids with you when my sister had baby Lea," she admits. I love how she understood what I asked even if I didn't use those words. That's so crazy because I had the same thought. "Too soon?"

"No. I, I - don't think so." I'm definitely relieved to hear that. I don't understand why talking, really talking, about this has to be so hard but I want to know so badly. Does she see a future that far ahead for us? "I thought the same, honestly."

"So... Why do you ask?"

"Because," I tighten my arms around her. "Because I want you to know that I see us together for a long time, and I already have baby name ideas and I think about how I'll propose and where we'll live and where we'll spend holidays - in Lima or Columbus."

She stays quiet after what I say and I worry I spoke too soon. Until she asks, "how you'll propose, huh?" And I know what I said was okay.

"Yes," I say with certainty. "I have to."

"I'll be waiting, then," she says with a playful tone then opens her eyes and really looks at me. "I love you, so hard."

"I love you, too. And," I finally realize what I was getting at with my kids question. "I don't think we're even close to being ready for children." I lean my head forward and kiss her nose softly, "but I was thinking about getting a puppy together, what do you think?" Before she answers, I explain, "I already spoke to Mike and he's cool with it staying at our place because you can't have animals in the house, but he'd be ours." I smile.

Quinn looks pretty elated too. I watch her face morph as she considers the idea and starts to get really excited, "really? Are you serious?"

"Well, yes. Because I'm assuming and hoping that by the end of next year - after you graduate - we'll move in together and you know, have our own place with our dog..."

She grabs me by the neck and kisses me with an enormous amount of force. I love the feeling of her tongue. She says, after the kiss, "You're so fucking amazing."

When I wake up, she's not there. I still wake up smiling though, because that might've been my favorite conversation with her, ever. It's already getting dark when I wake so I must've taken a long nap.

I try to sit up on the hammock and only succeed after a while. Then I hear her giggle and turn toward it. She's squatting in front of a fire she started, apparently. Go figure, you learn something new about your partner every day. I had no idea she knew how to freaking build a fire. "You slept like a rock for three hours."

"When did you wake up?" I ask.

"I never really slept - I was way too excited about the whole future talk." She gets up and stretches her legs and then arms above her head. "How did you sleep?"

"Amazing. I totally had a dream that we got a puppy and he was completely black so you named him Bandit."

She smiles, "I love that. We should get a black puppy and name him Bandit. Dream me is smart."

I get up and walk to her, wrapping my arms around her neck, "the real thing is kinda smart too."

"Kinda?" She asks and tilts her head to the right and raises an eyebrow.

"Well," I drawl. "Just kidding. You're one of the smartest people I know."

She laughs, "good." She quickly pecks my lips and says, "hold on. I got us something."

I'm a little confused but stand there and wait. She runs back up a small hill to where the rental car is parked and from where I am, I can only see her grabbing something from the trunk. She makes a quick phone call and then looks at me and waves, bouncing on her heels.

I watch as a random man in a uniform drives up to her and hands her a... What is that? A pizza box? She had pizza delivered? She pays him and then starts making her way back.

"What you got there?" I ask her, making my way halfway up the hill to meet her on her way down. "Is that my stereo? How did you manage to grab that without me ever knowing is beyond me."

"Good thing your stereo also runs on batteries." I grab the pizza from her so she has a free hand, and she says, "I'm very sneaky, if you hadn't noticed that yet, babe."

We make it back to our little fire and she sets the stereo on the floor of our tent, turning it on. A song starts to play and it takes a while but I start to get what she's doing. Then she grabs the two chairs we brought with us from the floor and sets them up, one in front of the other. I'm not tearing up, I'm not. She grabs my hands and makes me sit.

The song playing is If You're Wondering If I Want You To. I'm smiling because Quinn just managed to re-make our first date. With the music and the pizza and... "I know you've figured it out. Do you like it?" she asks, with certain insecurity showing. She bites on the inside of her mouth and then explains, "I kept that CD you made and that's what's playing. The romantic fire here," she points at it crackling and laughs quietly, "represents all the lights you put up that day, and well, I had this pizza delivered from the nearest joint."

"Are you kidding? I love it. But we both know what happened that day and it has to happen again." I lean forward and kiss her and the fireworks that were present that first date are still here, on our six-month anniversary date. "And I wasn't referring to our first kiss. Get up and dance with me." I take her by the hand and she comes willingly. Her eyes are sparkling and I know how lucky we both are for having found each other.

Just as we get up to dance, the song changes and All These Things starts to play. We laugh and start singing along. "Maybe it's her face, no make up at all as she tells me she's not beautiful. Maybe it's her hair, soft, golden and wind-blown," I ruffle my hands through her short hair and giggle, "as we drive through the streets of town. It could be all these things but I think it's her smile."

It's later that night and we're cuddled up in the hammock again. The fire is dying and the pizza is gone, but the stereo is still going because we put it on the loop setting and brought down the volume. "So I got you a gift," she says.

"You did?" I ask and move around to face her.

She smiles and raises an eyebrow, "of course I did. You know I did. I told you about it yesterday and you had been freaking out because I 'disappeared'."

"Well, then give it to me!" I demand with a faux stern look.

"Fine," she grumbles and pulls something out of her sweats' pocket. "I think you'll like it."

I open the box with caution, not to rip the paper - something she taught me, and when I open the long, rectangular box, my mouth drops in awe. It's a beautiful pearl necklace. It will go perfectly with the red dress I bought for the Spring Awakening Gala. "Thank you, babe! I do love it."

"It'll be good to wear it with the red dress for the gala," she says.

"You really are perfect," I sigh. "Now I feel like my gift-"

"Shut up and don't finish that because I know I'll love it even if you give me a dead squirrel right now."

I cringe but laugh at the same time, "Okay, I'm sorry. Well, here." I set the box down on my stomach carefully, and pull out a much smaller box and set it on top of the other box. It's square. She stares at it.

"What is it?" She asks. I know it looks much like an engagement box, but I did that on purpose. Because I wanted her to know that I'm serious about us, and after our conversation this afternoon, I hope she understands.

"Open it, silly." She grabs it and sits up on the hammock, making it swing wildly.

She opens it and when she sees the ring, she lets out a breathless, awed, "oh." She touches it reverently and then looks at me, "it's beautiful," She kisses me and then takes it out of the box to look at it closely. It's a narrow ring in silver sterling with diamonds, and it reads, 'I Love You,' in script on the outside. "It's from Tiffany's, isn't it?"

I nod, "I know that we're not getting married anytime soon," I start off camly and quietly. "Not because we don't love each other or because I don't think we're going to work. I think we will, that's why I have so much faith and I'm not scared of saying that." I smile a shaky smile and she reciprocates. I take the ring in my fingers and say, "I bought this... Well, this is going to sound cliche, but I don't want it to. It's like a promise ring. It's not one of those rings children get each other that say they'll wait for each other because, well, let's face it, we're like rabbits." We both laugh loudly, and I realize she's crying a little too. "But, baby, I had it engraved with three hearts on the inside," I explain and show it to her.

She whispers, "what do they mean?"

I smile, "well, they are the promise I'm making you of commitment, love, and honesty. That will be the hardest one for me, but I promise to always be honest, always tell you how I feel and not keep secrets. You taught me how to always be true to yourself and others and I love you so much for that."

She sobs loudly and then runs a hand over her nose, "look at you! You made me a sobbing slob!"

"Well, I still love you," I smile softly at her and she exhales forcefuly. "You look - you are beautiful, even when you cry."

"I love you," she pulls me in by the neck and kisses me roughly, expressing all the love she's feeling at the moment, and I am not far behind in reciprocating her kiss. Breathless and panting she asks, "will you?" She hands me the ring and I slide it on her right hand finger, and we kiss again.

"So when do we have amazing, steamy, hot camping sex?"

"Is now a good time?" She asks and we laugh. "Let's go inside."

The night of the gala comes by faster than I had thought it would. It's the last weekend of August and school started yesterday. School means no more cheer camp for Quinn and the kick-ass start of the year party they throw. I have never been before but I've heard it's great. This years' theme is I Love Rock N' Roll.

As I'm getting ready for the gala, pulling up my dress, Quinn gets here. She knocks on my door and pushes it open when I tell her to come in. She's in a beautiful long blue dress and white heels. Behind her, Bandit and Benji push their way in too. She tries to stop them with a stern voice but they don't listen so she has to bend over to pick them up and throw them out, only because I can't risk them chewing on the heels I'm wearing. She does kiss each one of their heads before doing so.

When we went up to the pet store to get the dog who would become our Bandit, I ended up not being able to leave his brother behind. Bandit and Benji are both Labrador Retrievers, and Bandit is black like we talked about, but his brother Benji is a chocolate color with beautiful light eyes. They're still pups so they like to chew on everything they set their sights on. We already love them so much though.

"Ready, Rachel?"

"Not quite. Will you clasp my necklace for me, please?" I hand her the necklace she gave me for our anniversary and I smile when I see the ring I gave her on her finger. She leaves fleeting kisses on my neck and exposed shoulders, and then clasps the necklace. "Thank you," I tell her and make eye contact through the mirror. She smiles and sits on my bed, picks up our blue pillow with stripes from the Fourth of July date (she always grabs this specific pillow), and crosses her legs.

"You have to be there in half an hour," she reminds me as if I didn't know. "And with traffic that means we should leave... Ten minutes ago."

I turn to look over my shoulder and give her a smoldering look for her savvy comment. "Babe, it's okay to be a few minutes late." She just smiles. I growl and pick up the red pumps I'm wearing and sit next to her to put them on. "I'm almost done anyway."

"And by almost done you mean, twenty more minutes right?" She giggles when I smack her thigh. Then she keeps my hand there with her own and turns my face with her hand carefully resting on my cheek. "You look beautiful, by the way."

Our eyes are dancing with each other, and I'm sure mine are overflowing with love. I get the goosebumps still when I find myself like this. Sometimes she makes me uncharacteristically shy. "Thank you," I kiss her lips. "You look pretty nice yourself." I kiss her again and get up. I check my makeup in the mirror one last time, and spray some more perfume. "I'm ready."

The event runs smoothly. I meet so many new people in the Musical Theatre business that at one point I'm just having Quinn stash their business cards into her clutch.

Mr. Willows is there with some twenty-year old looking girl, and April Rhodes shows up with Will Schuester and his fiancee, Emma Pillsbury. Jesse takes some guy I've never seen before and Kurt brings Blaine.

We take pictures as a group, with our other castmates, by the poster, solo, with our dates, with other random people we're supposed to know who they are but don't. So many pictures and flashes that Quinn starts complaining about a headache and she's not even in all of them.

But I love the entire thing. This is what I love, want, hope for in my life. I love the attention, I want the recognition, and I hope for the success some people here have, like April for example. She's starring in another show (this one actually on Broadway) produced by Mr. Willows at around the same time Spring Awakening will run, and so they're using that one to make publicity for ours.

I feel like a star. And the entire night, Quinn is holding my hand.

"This is it, Chip. This is everything we've worked for." Jesse tells me as he makes his way over to me from makeup. "It'll be great. You'll be amazing. I love you!"

There's less than ten minutes until the curtains go up for the first time in New York for our official premiere. The theatre is packed. I'm so excited, my entire body is humming. I look at Jesse and hug him, "I love you, too! We're going to rock this."

"Babe? Babe! Rachel!" I hear Quinn's voice and turn toward it, and see her running towards me with a bouquet of mixed flowers in hand. Some of the other actors in the play, and the choreographer and the director wave at her and smile. She stops right in front of Jesse and I. "Hi, Jesse. Break a leg!" She hugs him. He thanks her and goes off to find someone else.

"I'm so glad you're here," I take the flowers she offers and she kisses me.

"I'll be front row and center. San and Britt, the guys," (the guys being Mike and Sam and Blaine), "and Mercedes and Tina are all with us, too. Your dads are already crying."

"Have I ever told you how lucky I feel for the friends and family I have and for you?"

"Only like," she pretends to think, "a million times. But I like hearing it."

"Well, and I like saying it."

"I love you, baby. Break a leg, and show them how much you deserve Broadway."

I grin at her, "they won't know what hit them."

The curtain goes up, slower than I feel like it's ever been, but I enjoy watching it go. I take center stage and applause erupts, and I can't help but smile. I dip my head because I can't break character, and lift my raggedy dress. Then I start to sing, and I hear no sound other than the sound of my voice being accompanied by the band.

This is where I belong.

"Fucking genius! This play will get picked up so quickly!" Santana says loudly. After the show is over, the crowd that stays afterward to get autographs and pictures is gone, and the cast finished with our own rituals, we leave together to get food and here we are; We're having something to eat late at night at an IHOP.

I laugh, "thanks, San."

"Everything about it was perfect. All of you were amazing." Blaine compliments us with pride in his voice and then turns to Kurt. "You were beyond great." I know Kurt was amazing, he really was, but nobody's performance topped mine. I don't say anything though.

Quinn leans forward to whisper in my ear, since I'm faced away from her a little, "you were better." She lightly kisses the shell of my ear then turns to talk to my fathers about something that has to do with cheerleading.

I smile because she knows me so well, and then look over at this beautiful table of amazing people. Some of them I probably wouldn't have even gotten to know as well as I do now hadn't it been for Quinn. My gorgeous, amazing Quinn. I interlace our fingers together under the table and she squeezes my hand without ever even stopping her conversation with my fathers, but I see the shy smile that grows and the way her cheeks flush slightly.

After another hour at IHOP, we all finally say goodnight. My fathers have an early flight this morning (it's already almost four in the morning), and most of us have a morning class. Quinn is so tired, her eyes are sleepy and she looks really cute trying to pretend she's not. I tell my parents I'll be right down, and take her up to her bedroom, while they wait in the living room of her house.

"You're so tired," I say when we're inside her room. I turn the lights on and shut the door.

"You know I can't stay up late at night," she chuckles.

I come up behind her as she stands in front of her mirror, taking off her earrings, and unzip her dress. She thanks me, and I kiss between her shoulder blades, "thank you for being there tonight and for staying up late for me."

She lifts one leg, then another, and slides the dress toward her laundry basket. She turns to face me, in her underwear, and my eyes have to take her in. "You're welcome. You are worthy of the sacrifice," she winks and leans in to kiss me.

"Get some sleep," I tell her and trace my fingers down her stomach, feeling it flutter underneath my fingertips. "I love you, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Text me when you get home," she tells me and grabs my hand.

I start walking away, holding on to her hand until the last possible minute, "of course."

She pulls me back in right before our hands let go and kisses me again, "love you."

The cheerleading Welcome Back Bash is at full swing when I show up. It's happening in the school's gym, and it is packed. It's open for the entire student body and it is one of the parties sponsored by the cheerleaders that other clubs also promote.

This year, Quinn managed to convince the coordinator for this party to stop all dancing and music for a little while to show the Keep Calm and Carry On video that we recorded last semester. It is a success. The entire crowd applauses and whistles at the end and I find Santana being hugged by a lot of people; even people I know for a fact she's never met before.

She walks up to me in her outfit - badass leather jeans and jacket, with a black bandana on her head, and black heels. She looks hot. "Hey, when did you get here?"

I immediately hug her, proud of her all over again, "hey! I got here a little before they showed the video. I'm so proud of you!"

She waves it off, "you've already told me that, Midge." Her makeup is flawless. She's for heavy mascara and red lipstick. "How was the show tonight?"

I grin, "absolutely wonderful. It only gets better and better. Mr. Willows came to me at the end and said that he's already hearing people talk about Broadway for us."

This time, she hugs me, "congrats! You deserve this!"

"Thanks, babe. Hey, have you seen my girlfriend anywhere around here tonight?"

Santana laughs, "man, am I that bad a company?"

I huff, "no, of course not! I just haven't seen her all d-"

"Oh, please. Spare me. I was kidding. Well, I think I last saw her with the guys. They're all by the stage."

"Thanks," I tell her. "By the way, I like what you're wearing. You look hot."

"Ah," she smiles slowly, as if she knows something I don't. "Your panties are going to drop when you see what Quinn's wearing then."

She leaves me there, trying to figure out what Quinn's wearing. I'm wearing a red with white polka dots vintage dress with white shoes. I like that the theme is just I Love Rock N' Roll because there are people dressed in outfits from the 50's all the way to the late 90's. I'm appreciating these outfits when I finally spot Mike. He is wearing a - wait, those are the T-Birds, from Grease. Mike, Sam, Blaine and... Who's that other... No way!

Quinn turns around just as I figure it out. Grease is one of my favorite musical films of all time, and she knows it, too. She's in black, tight jeans, rolled up to her ankles, and black high-top Converse. She's wearing a white t-shirt, tucked in, and has a leather jacket throw on. She smiles at me, and I swoon. Her hair is gelled up and combed back. I had no idea that her dressing like a guy could be so fucking hot, but here I am, drooling.

She walks - no, she struts over to me, and for the first time I realize she's chewing on gum. I laugh, "someone is really taking their role seriously."

"Hey, there, beautiful."

"Hi, stud."

"You look..." she struggles for words but eats me up with her eyes, "really good."

"You look really hot." The band starts to play Queen's Crazy Little Thing Called Love, and I love this song. I look at her, excited, and she knows what I want.

"You want to dance with me?"

I nod with vigor, "please." She takes my hand and leads me into the crowd. We dance to this song with energy, her spinning me and twirling me. Then, after a couple of more songs, they switch to a slower rock ballad.

I feel her behind me, and thread my fingers through her hair - I don't care if it messes up her hairdo. Her hand comes down my arm, and I get the goosebumps. My stomach tightens in on itself when she starts kissing the back of my neck, by moving my hair out of the way.

"Guess what?" She asks.

"What?"

She turns me around and I wrap my hands around her neck, "I got a letter today."

"Really?"

"Yes. It's for an internship. Apparently I did so well at John Hopkins' this summer that they sent my information to their partners and such here in New York. They want to interview with me." Her hair is completely messed up, but somehow the 'do still looks unbelieavably attractive on her.

I smile, completely happy for her, "you're serious?"

"Yeah," she says and raises an eyebrow, caressing my face.

"Babe!" I jump to hug her. "This will be amazing for you."

She tightens the hug, "I'm kind of excited." She whispers in my ear, like it's a secret and she's not allowed to be excited. "It's gonna be kind of hard with school and cheering but -"

"You can do it."

"With you by my side, I can."

"You're gonna be great." I jump off her, and give her a once-over.

She smirks at my glance and asks, "so you approve of this?"

"Hell yes. I'm trying really hard not to ask you to leave this party right now."

Laughing, she whispers in my ear, "and why not?"

And who can resist that?

"Rachel!" I hear yelling. I have no idea what it is or who it is. It seems like it's a lot of different people making excessive noise in my apartment. Bandit and Benji are barking their high-pitched bark behind my closed door. "Rachel! Wake up, dumbass." Well, that's Santana.

I open my eyes and turn to face the ceiling. I groan and check the time. It's not even eight yet.

"Rach? Chip!" Jesse.

Is everyone here? And why is everyone laughing too?

"Babe? Please, wake up and come out here." Light knocking and polite? That's Quinn. I sit up, and stretch.

"Come in," I say and I doubt she even hears me, but then the door opens quietly and she slips in with a ridiculously large grin.

"Everyone's out here. You should come say hello." She leans in and kisses my forehead, "Morning."

"It's not even eight," I whine.

"You don't even wanna know why we're all here?"

The door creaks and in come Bandit and Benji is right behind him. They jump on the bed and start jumping franctically, hitting each other and lightly biting and then Bandit jumps on me, making me fall back in bed, and Benji is all over Quinn. We start giggling. She manages to pull Bandit from off my face and I can breathe again.

We trade dogs and start petting them. "Okay, tell me why they're here so early."

"You have to come out here." She explains, "we have to show you something." She offers her right hand to me, because she's holding Benji with her left, and I take it. She pulls me up and I drag Bandit with me.

Holding hands, we make our way out into the living room.

"Okay, everyone. I'm up, and it's not like I don't love you all, but I'm not really interested in being up before eight on a Sunday morning."

"Shut up, Rach! And listen to this -" Kurt says, his voice getting higher in pitch as he bounces in place, as if trying to contain the excitement bottled up inside. He's holding Blaine's hand so hard I think it'll fall off. He looks to Mike, who's holding the newspaper. He seems to be the only one in here still in check of his emotions.

Santana is tearing up, but smiling. Blaine is drying his own tears. Jesse's smile is so large I'm afraid it'll get stuck like this. Quinn is trying to see more put together than she is. Britt's literally dancing of joy.

"'Broadway Bound: the stars of Spring Awakening,'" Mike starts to read and I finally grasp what's happening. Everything around me slows down as I close my eyes to hear what the words of this critic says. "'I watched the premiere of Spring Awakening on Thursday night, and have had to go back and watch it twice more to be able to feel like I could write a review worthy of it. In three days that it's been open, I have gone every day. It is simply outstanding. The off-Broadway play has been what the Musical Theatre scene in New York has been missing. From their lead actress, Rachel Berry, who plays the naive Wendla, to the amazing musical arrangements and lyrics, Spring Awakening did no wrong. Rachel Berry, still a sophomore in college, has shown up as a taken lady, but who is definitely going to make the audience's hearts fall for her. Beautiful, young, and incredibly talented, Berry plays alongside her costar Jesse James from her latest college play, Cyrano de Bergerac. Jesse does a brilliant job as Melchior, a highly intelligent but rebellious teenager who is in love with Wendla. Not only are they perfect, but others deserved shoutouts for their performance, like,' blah blah blah," Mike skips over some people and then continues, "'and Kurt Hummel for his beautiful performance as Ernst. For someone who replaced the actor originally intended for the part, Mr. Hummel has me wondering if anyone else other than him could have ever played Ernst. With a touching story which appeals to all, backed up by great rock songs, I predict the stars of Spring Awakening will soon be joining other amazing musicals on the Broadway stage. This musical has all the right ingredients and the quality to become a classic, must-see, will-never-be-forgotten musical; the musical of our generation!"

As soon as he's done, I open my eyes and all of my friends share a group hug. I'm sobbing uncontrollably, because yes, this is everything we've worked for and have expected. "You fucking did it, babe. And I'm so damn proud of you." I hear Santana tell me. She's gripping me hard, "I wish I could see everyone from high school now, as your name starts to be worshipped on Broadway."

I'm passed from her to Jesse, "Congratulations, Chip. You and I are going to be famous together. I couldn't have asked for a better leading lady."

He pushes me into Kurt, who presses his cheek into mine and whispers, "thank you so much, Rachel Berry."

I finally land in Quinn's arms, "You are going to become who you've always wanted to be and more, I just know it. This is just the beginning for you."

I can't even begin to fathom how much better it could be.

"And here with us, tonight, we have the gorgeous Rachel Berry, who started her career as Wendla Bergmann, in Spring Awakening." The talk show host, John Hilton calls me out.

I walk into the stage and the first person I look for is sitting at the very front - Quinn, with a smile on her face.

I hug Hilton and we exhange air kisses, and he politely offers me to sit down.

I do and cross my legs and wave at the audience, still clapping for me.

"So, Rachel, how are you?"

Smiling, I tell him the truth, "I'm very good, actually. Really great."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, definitely."

"How are you feeling about starting a new project, apart from the thing that made you who you are?"

I shift in my seat as I think over his question, "well, to me-"

"You're watching that again?" Quinn asks me from the door of our apartment. I turn on the couch, and look at her in her work clothes and holding her briefcase.

She smiles and purses her lips and lifts an eyebrow for having caught me watching myself on television again. I turn it off and jump over the back of the couch towards her. "Hi!"

"Hi!" She replies. Two seconds later, Bandit and Benji, now four years old and huge, throw themselves at her. She pets them and then looks at me again. "I caught you."

I nod, "you did. But you know how much I love going on TV shows."

"Yes, I know." Bandit and Benji lay at her feet. She wraps her arms around my waist. "We missed you." I look at her with pure, unadultered wonder when she says 'we.' It still catches me off guard sometimes.

"How was work?" I ask, and rub her belly, which is not showing yet, but I can't wait till it is. Our baby will be the most loved baby ever. He or she is the first of four, and I'm so ready for it now.

"Really good but I don't want to talk about work right now."

"No?" I ask, with a mischievous look.

"No." She tells me with assertiveness.

"What do you want then?"

"Make love to my wife."


End file.
